The rain just kept coming throughout the day. I had finally managed to drag myself out of bed to shower and dress. Looking in the mirror, I could see the dark circles around my eyes.

You look as crappy as you feel Eden.

The last three days had been hell. I was desperate for some word from Bucky. I had been pacing around my apartment trying to keep my mind occupied on anything but him. I had scrubbed every inch of my home clean. I had alphabetized my movie collection and book shelf. There was nothing left to keep me busy and I didn't dare leave my apartment. What if he got back from his mission and I wasn't home? No, I wasn't moving from this spot until I had heard from him.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking out the window as the rain began to fall harder. A small gasp escaped my mouth when the phone in my hands began to vibrate. I looked down to see it was Steve.

"Steve! Please tell me you guys are back." I blurted out.

"Hello Eden. We are on our way back, we should be there soon." he said slowly, warily.

"Thank God, let me talk to Bucky please" I asked, the relief I felt making me a bit more polite.

"He can't talk right now Eden. I'll explain when we get back. We should be there by 8:00pm, will you meet us there?"

"Of course, why can't he talk to me Steve? Is he hurt?" my voice sounded shrill, the panic I felt evident.

"I promise I'll explain when we see you" he said, cutting me off.

"Okay, I'll be there. Same place?" I asked, attempting to slow my breathing and calm down.

"Yes" he said, ending the call.

I held the phone to my chest, tears slowly filling my eyes. Bucky was alive!

Why couldn't Bucky talk though?

As happy as I was to know that Bucky was alive, I was still very concerned that Steve had not let me talk to him. Something must have happened. The sudden realization that Bucky may be seriously injured popped into my head. I looked at the clock.

7:35

I dashed to my closet and dug out my rain boots, slipping them on quickly. I snatched the rain coat hanging in the back of my closet and threw it on as well. I knew I looked a mess. After I showered earlier, I had loosely braided my hair. Glancing in the mirror, I could see strands slipping from the braid. I had not bothered to put on makeup and the bags around my eyes made me look sickly and pale.

Who cares Eden? Get in the car!

I grabbed my purse and keys and dashed down the stairs and through the parking lot to my car. Traffic was maddening, the rain making people a bit more cautious while driving. I didn't look at my speedometer the entire time and not even red lights could stop me. I pulled up the building and made my way up to the roof. When I came through the doors and looked at my watch the time was 7:53.

Good God Eden, how many traffic laws did you just break?

The helicopter was not there yet and I noticed a group of men standing on the far side of the roof. I recognized one as the man who has shown me out the last time. He raised his hand to acknowledge me but didn't approach…he knew why I was there.

I stood in the rain and waited….it was only misting now but the temperature had dropped drastically. I had not buttoned up my raincoat so the front of my shirt and my collar was soaked. I knew I was shaking, but I stood there and dealt with it nonetheless.

I heard the chopper before I saw it. The moment it landed I made my way closer to it, the wind from the blades making it seem even colder. The loose strands of hair from my braid whipped around and I struggled to push them from my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was the man I had recognized earlier. He shook his head, "Wait for the blades to stop turning ma'am"

I nodded my head and stood patiently, waiting for Bucky to get off the helicopter. I saw a pretty red head jump down first and then turn to wait for her companion to disembark as well. He carried a bow across his back and once he jumped down, they made their way inside. Steve got off next and began to make his way over to me. I looked past him at the helicopter, waiting to see Bucky get off too…he didn't.

I walked quickly forward to meet Steve, "Where is Bucky?" I asked, pushing past him. He grabbed my arm and stopped me, "Eden wait!"

"Let me go, where is he Steve? BUCKY!" I shouted, waiting for him to jump out of the helicopter with that smirk on his face, waiting for the warm hug that only Bucky could give me.

Steve spun me around to face him, "We need to talk first Eden. There was a problem while we were gone"

He explained everything to me. His voice cracking when he finally told me about Bucky's meltdown…I could see the pain he felt in his eyes. He told me that Bucky hadn't said a word since leaving the facility, not even to him.

"He was doing so good…he was finally starting to become Bucky again. I think letting him go was a terrible mistake. I'm so sorry Eden." he let his head fall.

I grabbed his hand, "Steve, we'll help him get through this…do you hear me? Bucky will get through this…he has to….I can't lose him…I won't lose him."

He nodded, a sad smile on his face, "Eden, you are the best thing that could have happened to him. If anyone can get through to him, it will be you"

Something caught Steve's attention and I turned in that direction.

Bucky!

He exited the helicopter and made his way towards us. He seemed to be in a daze, there was no emotion on his face. He was still wearing his tactical gear, but I could see that he had no weapons now, not even the knives that had been strapped to him. When I stepped forward to go to him, Steve grabbed my arm and pulled me back, shaking his head. Bucky didn't look my direction. He walked right past us and made his way to the exit. My heart sank in my chest.

I stood there staring at him as he walked away from me. I was cold and wet, shaking uncontrollably with tears streaming down my face.

I turned to Steve, shaking my head in disbelief, "He didn't even look my way"

"I'm sorry Eden" he repeated "We have a debriefing with Director Fury. It will take several hours. Bucky is excused from it but he can't stay here, it's not good for him. Would you mind taking him home with you? I think being with you would help."

"Of course he is coming home with me, I wouldn't have it any other way" I insisted.

We walked together in the direction Bucky went and found him sitting in a chair halfway down the hallway. He was bent over, head in his hands, rocking back and forth. I stood back and watched Steve approach him.

"Bucky?" Steve asked softly. When he didn't get an answer, he placed a hand on Bucky's arm to get his attention. Bucky pulled away, raising his head to see who had touched him. The panic in his bloodshot eyes broke my heart.

"I have to be debriefed by Director Fury. Eden's here, she's going to take you home with her." He said gently.

Bucky lowered his head and muttered something.

"I didn't hear you Bucky, what did you say?" Steve asked.

"I don't want to go with her" Bucky said loudly, looking Steve in the eye.

The tears fell freely now and I stepped back, still shaking, unsure if it was from the cold or from Bucky's comment.

"Why?" Steve prodded.

"I don't want to hurt her" he whispered to Steve. He let out the breath he had been holding and turned to me, finally looking me in the eye, "I don't want to hurt you" he whispered again, shaking his head.

He looked away, lowering his face once again.

I stepped forward and bent down on one knee in front of him. I placed one hand on his and the other I used to lift his face to look me in the eye, with complete confidence I said, "Bucky, you'd never hurt me."

The look of hope in his eyes brought a small smile to my lips. "Will you please come home with me now?"

He thought about it a long time…he looked so unsure as he continued to stare into my eyes. He finally nodded. I took his hand and pulled him up from the chair.

Steve left and returned a minute later with a black duffel bag, "These are his clothes."

I turned to Steve, "I'll call you in the morning. I'll take care of him Steve"

"Thanks Eden. I'll have my phone on, call if anything happens" he turned to Bucky and patted him on the back. "Get some sleep Bucky"

As Steve walked away in the opposite direction, I led Bucky down to the elevator to make our way to my car. He didn't say one word the entire way home. I led him from the car, up the stairs, and into my apartment. After closing and locking the door, I laid my purse and keys down on the table. My apartment was cold and I was still wet from the rain…my hands were shaking.

Bucky had made his way over to the couch and was sitting down. I sat beside him and took his hand in mine again. He looked down at our hands and then back to me.

"You're shaking" he said quietly, "You should get out of those wet clothes"

"We've been here 30 seconds and you're already trying to get me out of my clothes" I said, a small smile on my lips.

He shook his head, pulling his hand away from mine, "Don't Eden"

The smile disappeared from my face and I lowered my head to hide the disappointment.

Don't push him Eden, he just went through a traumatic event.

"It's not that I don't want to Eden…I just can't…not yet." He said.

I nodded, not raising my head, "I understand Bucky. You must be tired. You can sleep in the spare room."

He nodded and followed me to my guest room. I dropped his duffel bag on the bed and turned on the lamp that was sitting on the night stand.

"If you need anything, I'll be in the living room for a while." I said, turning to face him. He was standing there, motionless. I started to reach out to him but thought better of it.

"Goodnight Bucky" I said quietly. When he didn't reply, I made my way out the door and shut it gently.

I sat in the living room for over 3 hours, waiting to see if he would come to his senses and join me. He never stepped a foot out of the room. I eventually turned off all the lights and headed to my bedroom. I stopped outside of his door and put my ear to the door. I didn't hear anything and I could see that there was no light on in the room.

He must have gone to sleep.

I went into my room and shut the door gently, so not to disturb him. I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top and crawled into my bed. I laid awake for a long time thinking about Bucky in the next room. Just as I was drifting off, I heard a noise. I sat up and listened….there it was again! I pulled back the covers and made my way to my bedroom door, throwing it open walking towards my guest room. I opened the door and peeked inside. Bucky was tossing in his bed, mumbling loudly.

He must be having a nightmare…I should wake him up.

He was lying in the middle of the bed, so I crawled onto it and sat down beside him…he didn't wake up when I called his name gently. The covers had slide down his body to his waist and I could see he wasn't wearing a shirt. The moment I laid my hand on his chest, his eyes opened and with a growl, he grabbed my body and flipped me over onto my back. He was on top of me, metal arm in the air ready to strike.

"Bucky!" I said, placing my hand on his chest, "It's me, Eden"

He stared down at me, breathing hard. I could see him snap out of it and he dropped his fist quickly.

"It's okay Bucky, it was just a nightmare" I said, trying to calm him down.

There was that look of uncertainty on his face again, that doubt in his eyes. We stared at each for several seconds, his chest heaving up and down. He finally reached down and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. Relief washed over me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I ran my fingers through his hair slowly until his breathing returned to normal.

"I'm sorry Eden….I'm so sorry" he whispered in my ear, clinging to me like his life depended on it.

He finally let me go and stood up from the bed. He was wearing black sweat pants that hung low on his hips….it was hard not to stare.

Stop Eden! Don't even think about it, he just had a terrible nightmare.

"Bucky, you should try to get some sleep"

He shook his head, "No….the nightmares…I can't...no…"

I reached out my hand to him, "Come with me, you can sleep in my room"

He hesitated for a second and then took my hand.

I led him to the door of my bedroom and he paused before walking in with me. I pulled back the covers and he laid down.. I walked around the bed, and crawled in on my side. He looked shocked when I scooted next to the right side of his body and laid my head on his chest. He froze for a second before finally wrapping his right arm around me. I pulled the covers over us and snuggled into his chest. He turned and buried his nose in my hair, inhaling.

We laid in comfortable silence.

"Eden?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you" he finally said.

I smiled into his chest. I pulled my face up and looked him in the eyes, "I missed you too Bucky. Please don't leave me again."

He pulled my head back down to his chest, "Never"

After several minutes I felt his breathing slow down and I knew he had fallen asleep. I laid there warm under the covers, wrapped in the arms of a man I was in love with.