Chapter TWENTY-ONE

A/N: Because three years is a long time to wait, I'm adjusting the time tables. How could Hawke and Fenris go 3 YEARS not talking much to each other when they're obviously enamored with one another? Didn't make sense to me, and since this is fan fiction, I reserve the right to make it make sense. ;) Anyway, enjoy the telling. Much more Fenris involvement to come!

Aria was actually nervous. She hadn't been to talk to Fenris since that night over a week ago when he walked her drunk ass home. She'd been kept busy enough by Aveline and Varric to justify avoiding the elf, but she knew it was a foolish endeavor. Her mother looked at her as though she were a wounded animal and Leandra encouraged Aria to go out when it was known that everyone was at the Hanged Man. Aria had refused and instead stayed home reading. Sober.

But this morning, Aria wanted to get some things off her chest. Add to that the fact that the other night, whilst coming home from checking up on Merrill, she'd found a book she knew might be of interest to Fenris. It was entitled "A Slave's Life", penned by a man named Shartan. Aria knew her lore well enough that Shartan helped Andraste free the slaves. She could use it as an apology for avoiding him as she had. A peace offering of sorts.

The sun had just cleared the spires of the Chantry when she emerged from her mansion. Aria had been recently forced into dressing as the Hightown ladies did; at her mother's insistence. She couldn't deny that her mother at least had good taste and knew her daughter's preferences when it came to haute couture. Today, however, Aria donned the dress Fenris had given her for her birthday, which felt like it had been decades ago. The dress was a little tight in the bosom, but Aria guessed that it was designed to be that way. She padded across the square before the Viscount's Keep, then over past the Chantry, to the row of estates where Fenris stayed.

As she entered the mansion, she heard Isabela's voice upstairs and she stopped cold to listen intently. While she liked the other rogue, she didn't like how openly she came on to whatever man or woman currently struck her fancy. And, in Aria's eyes, Fenris was hers. She could at least admit that to herself now.

"So the Seneschal's tax collector won't be coming around again, like you asked. Funny story," Isabela's voice echoed down the stairs from Fenris's chambers.

"I'll pass, but thank you for the help," Fenris politely shut her down. Emboldened by Fenris's continued indifference to the pirate, Aria smirked to herself at this and swiftly climbed the stairs towards their voices.

"Spoilsport," Isabela silkily retorted. "Why you want to squat up here in Hightown is beyond me."

"I like the view," Fenris said with a shrug.

"So do I," Isabela said, saucily rolling her shoulder and giving him her trademark vixen, smoldering stare.

Aria made her entrance then, shaking her head when Isabela winked at her in passing. Aria watched the pirate bound down the steps and out of sight before turning to Fenris.

"Nearly a year and no sign of Danarius. I'm beginning to wonder if he's finally given up," Fenris said as she took the chair Isabela had vacated.

"This is his mansion, isn't it? He must know you're here," Aria replied, resting her hands on the desk in front of her.

Fenris looked at her as though he'd just seen her for the first time. His eyes traveled from her hair to feet and a strange light took to them. They lingered on the dress, realization dawning in his eyes. He cleared his throat before he spoke again, adjusting himself in his chair.

"Would you be surprised to learn that it isn't in fact his mansion?" he asked, letting that little bit of trivia sink in for a moment. "It belongs to a Tevinter merchant, one who has evidently given up on the place. Perhaps he is dead. Perhaps," his tone went darker here, "Danarius killed him. Either way, if Danarius is aware of my presence, he has done nothing."

Aria was silent a moment, pondering this information. She finally looked up and asked, "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yes, but..." Fenris replied, then followed a different train of thought. "Tell me, what do you do when you stop running?"

"You build anew. At least, it's what I've done. Though I doubt I'll ever truly be done running," Aria responded to his query.

"There is truly no end in sight?" Fenris gently challenged.

"When I see one, I'll let you know," Aria bitterly chuckled.

"Even so, I don't know how to just...rebuild. My first memory was receiving these markings. The lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony wiped away everything. Whatever life I had before I became a slave... It's lost." He paused at this, then stood and turned away from her. "I shouldn't trouble you with this." He turned to face her and the pain in his eyes was nearly more than she could bear. "My troubles are not yours."

"You don't know who you were?" Aria asked, intrigued and saddened at this new information. Fenris had never divulged in depth what had happened to him before they met. It was always glossed over, something he was never willing to talk about. The fact that he broached the subject now... Well. It gave her hope that they could become more than just battle friends and drinking buddies.

"Fenris was the name Danarius bestowed upon me. His... 'little wolf'. If I once had another name, or a family, then they were taken from me. But...again. This is not your concern."

Aria stood then and took his face in her hands. "I'd like to make it my concern."

They stood in silence, reading each others' eyes. Fenris slid his hands to her waist and drew her closer, his heartbeat quickening.

"You're a beautiful woman, Aria. Is there...no one else who has your...attention?" he huskily asked, the reference to Anders not lost on her.

"Do you see anyone else here?" Aria softly challenged, her hands sliding down his neck to rest on his chest.

He gently took her hands in his and backed away, though he didn't let go. "I am an escaped slave and an elf," he bitterly said, looking away for a moment. His gaze returned to hers, green fires of self-loathing. "I live in a borrowed mansion. None of those things bother you?"

"And I'm a refugee and a known killer. Does that bother you?"

"You have me there," he conceded, drawing her back to him. "This all is...new ground for me, Aria. I'll have to consider it," he whispered, sighing when her hand touched his face again.

Aria smiled at this, then remembered the book in her satchel. "Well, whilst you consider, I have something for you." She went back to the chair where her satchel rested on the floor and pulled out the book. She handed it to him, smiling even wider.

He took it and seemed completely dumbfounded. "It...it's a book.."

Aria opened it to the first page so the he could look at the title and author. "It's a subject you're familiar with. It's by Shartan, the elf who helped Andraste free the slaves. You know about him, right?"

"A little," Fenris said, his words halting. He was uncomfortable, clearly, and Aria was already preparing to fix whatever she'd done to make him so. "It's just... Slaves are not permitted to read. I've...never learned."

Aria beamed at him, seeing her way to make it right. "It's never too late to learn."

"Isn't it?" he asked almost bitterly. "Sometimes I wonder. I don't want to seem ungrateful. I do appreciate the thought. I've always wanted to learn more of Shartan; perhaps this is my chance," he said with a smile.

Aria bounced up and down on her toes. "When shall we start?"

"I haven't anything planned today," he said, smiling at her and taking her hand. He brought it to his lips and placed a searing, sweet kiss across her knuckles. "Let me put some things away, and I'll join you shortly at your home."

"I will see you there," Aria said, feeling her cheeks flush. He escorted her to the door and embraced her before she departed.

Aria felt as though she was walking on air the whole way back to her own estate. She fought the urge to skip and jump like an impish school girl and actually returned the greetings the Hightown ladies paid her as she walked past. One commented that she seemed in a fine mood for once. For once?! Had she really been that gloomy?

As soon as she stepped inside, her mother greeted her. The woman wore a fine day gown of pale spring green and her lavish white fur cape.

"Going out?" Aria asked her, kissing both of her cheeks in greeting.

"I've been invited to tea," Leandra replied, her eyes girlish. "Will you join me? The Comtesse is quite fond of you."

Aria smiled. "I must decline. Fenris will be stopping by for reading lessons."

"Reading lessons? I figured with as intelligent as he is..." Leandra mused, but Aria cut her off.

"He was a slave, Mama. They aren't allowed to learn to read."

"Of course, child," she said, cupping her daughter's face. "Do enjoy yourself, hmm?"

"I will try," Aria chuckled, not missing the innuendo implied by the wink her mother gave her.

Leandra left then and Aria went upstairs to her study to ready for Fenris's visit. She gathered some blank parchment, an empty leather-bound journal, some quills, and a few pots of ink. She also went back out to the library to peruse her selection for something suitable for Fenris to learn.

A few moments later, Bodahn called from downstairs. "Ah, Mistress Hawke? Master Fenris is here to see you."

Aria bounded down the steps and met Fenris in the common room. He took both of her hands as she offered them, and smiled tentatively.

"Don't worry," she said, reading his self-doubt in his eyes. "We all had to start somewhere."

Aria led him up the stairs, hand in hand, to her study, pleased that he'd brought Shartan with him. He looked at the statue over the mantle and couldn't quell the shudder that went through him.

"What?" she asked, following his gaze.

"They have statues much like that in Tevinter. Old god relics," he replied with distaste.

"Ah that. It's mother's. She dragged it out of the basement—or rather, she had Bodahn drag it out of the basement. Apparently Grandfather was fond of them."

"Strange thing to be fond of," Fenris quipped, a hint of laughter in his tone.

"We all have our quirks, I suppose," she nervously laughed, leading him to the writing table. They sat facing each other and Fenris put the book down, opened to the first page. "I have other works that would be easier to start with, if it please you."

Fenris smiled wryly. "I appreciate the thought, but I rather like the idea of starting to learn from Shartan, if it isn't too much trouble?"

It wasn't like Fenris to back down from a challenge, and he was true to form here. He was humbled at present, feeling quite at the disadvantage. He hated to appear weak to Aria, but at the same time, this was an opportunity to get to know her on a new level. Instead of comrade, instead of warrior-at-arms, she was stepping into the role of teacher. He could think of no one else he'd rather learn from, and his greatest desire at this moment was to prove an apt pupil.

"Before we start reading, we need to learn the alphabet. These symbols each have their own sounds and together, they form the words we see and speak," Aria began then, smiling and gently closing the book.

"I understand," Fenris said with a nod, watching as her fingers deftly snatched a piece of parchment and a quill. "I'm familiar with the concept, at least."

Aria dipped the quill in the ink and scrawled the first symbol, a letter "A". And thus, their first lesson began. They spent the rest of the morning learning the letters and their sounds, Fenris proving to be a very quick study indeed. Bodahn interrupted them with lunch, which they consumed together in the common room.

Fenris finished eating before Aria and went to the desk where Bodahn kept letters addressed to her. He looked at them all, then grabbed one and brought it over to where she sat.

"This—this is your name?" he asked, pointing to the greeting at the top of the letter.

"These four letters here," Aria replied, noting each one in turn.

"A-R-I-A. Ah-rrr-iii-ah. But, the letter 'I' doesn't make the sound 'eee'," Fenris stated, puzzled.

"Some of the letters make different sounds, depending on how they're placed. That's a lesson for another day, I think," Aria giggled, taking the letter. It was one from Bethany.

Fenris sounded out the scrawled name at the end of the letter from where it rested now in Aria's grasp. "Bet-han-why... Oh! Bethany!" He turned to her, slightly confused, but then he smiled. "I guess the Hawke family defies every rule they come across, even with their names."

Aria burst out laughing at this and stood to hug him. "You'll be even further confused by how Hawke is spelled."

"How is Hawke spelled?" he asked, truly curious, his head tilting slightly to the side.

Aria broke their embrace to lead him back upstairs to the study. Sandal cleared their dishes and Bodahn winked at Aria when she reached the top of the stairs. Maker have mercy, she hoped he didn't talk to Varric often. But then, she thought, let them talk. She didn't need to hide anymore. All her secrets were in the open. She suddenly didn't care who knew about Fenris being here, and she didn't care what they said about her as a result.

Fenris sat immediately back down at the desk and grabbed his quill. He dipped it in the ink and let it hover over the paper. "Huh—awww-but there's no letter for that sound," he said, scribbling out the H he'd written. He looked expectantly at Aria.

She strode easily over, and guided his hand in making the H, then the A, and stopped at the E. Fenris puzzled over this a moment then looked at her. "You make absolutely no sense."

Aria laughed again and took her seat across from him. "When you combine some letters, their sound loses its individual pronunciation and a new sound is formed. A and W produce the sound 'awww'," she explained. "The 'E' is silent. I couldn't tell you why myself."

"Does my name defy grammar?" Fenris jokingly asked her, but before she could respond, he started writing it out for himself. "Fff-eh-nnn-rrr-iii-sss." He handed her the parchment and she smiled broadly. "Is that right?" he asked when she was quiet, looking at his handwriting for too long. For someone who had never written his own name before, his handwriting was beautifully precise.

"Spell it out loud for me," Aria gently commanded, pointing to each letter as he said it.

"F-E-N-R-I-S," he said, then smiled.

"That's you," Aria laughed.

"I have a written name," he said in awe, then wrote it again for good measure, and again. "I can sign for things now. I can..." He looked up at her then, the light in his vibrant green eyes new to her. It amazed her that he could express so much with just his eyes. "Thank you, Aria."

She didn't know why, but her own eyes began to mist and she could only smile in response, taking his hand in hers and squeezing.

"Have I offended you?" he suddenly asked, abruptly coming to her side. He knelt next to her and cupped her face.

Aria shook her head vehemently. "No, I'm just... Proud, I guess," she managed, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Proud?" Fenris quietly questioned, his thumb gently stroking her cheek bone as he still held her face.

"Yes. Proud. Of you," Aria answered, her own hand going to his face, smoothing his cheek with a soft touch.

"You're...proud of me?" he asked, his voice quieter still, but deeper. Huskier.

"Yes, Fenris. I'm proud of you," she whispered.

"Do you remember... What we talked about after Varric's homecoming party?" Fenris asked then, a hint of pain stinging his words.

Aria blushed but she kept her eyes on his. "I think there's no one else I'd rather have here, holding me like this, in any state."

Fenris's breath caught in his throat. She'd said the words verbatim. Maker, he'd believed she had in fact forgotten, that's why she hadn't come to see him, why she'd been avoiding him. He thought it had been involuntary, but knowing that she remembered, it sent him drowning in a tidal wave of emotion he'd never felt before.

He was bursting at the seams with joy that she remembered those words, words that had hit him straight in the chest and kept him buoyant for days following. He was angry that she had denied him her company for so long after that admission. He was flying now, because here she was, completely coherent, her wits about her 100% and saying the same thing. She meant it. And she'd said she was proud. Proud... Of him. Her pride didn't come from what she'd done to him, what she'd inflicted on him, from keeping him down. Her pride in him came from lifting him up, challenging him to challenge himself.

"Did I say the wrong thing?" Aria shakily asked when he finally drew in a deep breath.

If ever there was a right time and a right place, Fenris knew this was it. He took both her hands and rested them on his shoulders, then cupped her face once more in his hands.

Aria saw stars for a moment behind her closed eyelids. Then it registered in her mind that his mouth was on hers, rough at first, then gentler, engaging hers in the most beautiful, erotic dance. Her lips responded hungrily and she pressed into him, needing more. Her heart hammered against her sternum so hard she thought she'd surely die. If this was death, she'd gladly succumb to it.

He pulled away abruptly then and she struggled to lift her heavy eyelids. He'd just sent her to another plane of existence with one kiss. A kiss that had taken far too long to occur, but she was happy they'd waited. No one had ever kissed her like that and she was sure that had she been standing, he'd have had to hold her up. Aria couldn't bring herself to look away from his eyes. Hungry, aching, consumed by the same fire that roared within her.

"Maker, help me," he breathed, caressing her face. He touched his lips to hers again, this time enveloping her in his embrace, his hands finding her hair, his fingers buried in the silvery tresses.

Aria didn't want this to stop. Ever. He was warmth, passion, beauty, wit, and goodness all rolled into one hell of an attractive package. She didn't care that he was an elf, that he had no title, that he had nothing but himself. When she looked at him, she saw who he was on the inside, not what bounds society had placed on them both.

She whimpered softly when his tongue slid over her bottom lip and touched her own. Aria arched her body against his and drank of his mouth deeply, equally giving of herself to him. She didn't know how long they fell together in this state of absolute bliss, but when he pulled away, she felt as though she'd just emerged from a deep, beautiful, dreamless sleep.

"So... I take it you're done considering?" she playfully asked, kissing the tip of his nose.

Fenris smiled. "I'll take any trouble you want to give me."

"Likewise," Aria whispered in kind.

"I've been kissed before, but never like that," he blurted, nuzzling her neck. "Was it as earth-shattering an experience for you?"

Aria airily laughed at this, her fingers going through his hair while his breath and lips feathered the sinew of her neck. "Earth-shattering is an understatement, I think."

He chuckled warmly and stood then, returning to his seat across from her. "Shall we continue with the lessons?"

Aria pressed her palm to her forehead and took a few deep breaths. "If you wish."

"Yes. I do wish. And perhaps, when I spell or read something correctly, you could reward me with a kiss?"

"You have yourself a deal, messere," Aria laughed.