Pain

I felt the most intense pain radiating throughout my body when I finally regained consciousness, rendering me speechless.

I looked at my sticky blood stained hands.

Where's all this blood coming from?

I pressed my hand to my head, hissing in pain when I touched the gash. My fingers came away wet with blood. I looked down to see more blood flowing steadily from large cuts running down the length of my left arm.

Panic

Once the panic set in, I began to struggle against the seat belt…the pain I felt completely overridden by the shear panic of the situation. I was trapped!

The surrounding noise was deafening…sirens wailing, police and fireman shouting orders, the sound of metal being cut.

"Ma'am, we're going to get you out of there, just hold tight." I heard his voice…it sounded very far away and garbled, like I was listening to him from underneath water.

"Shit! Cut faster Miller! She's losing too much blood"

Hold tight! I'm hanging upside down bleeding to death and he wants me to hold tight!?

"Almost there sir! Got it! Dickson, get the paramedics up here with the stretcher….NOW!"

My driver's side door was yanked away and hands reached in to steady me. Within minutes I was unbuckled and laid carefully on the stretcher. One of the paramedics, an older gentleman with graying hair and kind blue eyes, strapped a brace around my neck. Now that I no longer felt trapped in the car, the panic was subsiding and the pain was taking its place. The tears slipped down my face, mixing with my blood. I moaned in pain and the paramedic grabbed my hand gently.

"Ma'am everything is going to be okay. My name is Jim, I'm here to help you. Can you tell me your name? Do you know what's happened?"

Between the painful gasps for breath, I answered each of his questions. I felt myself being rolled away from my mangled SUV.

"Eden, is there anyone you would like us to call for you? We're taking you to Liberty General, just a few blocks from here"

I struggled to concentrate on what he was saying…struggled to think of who to have him call. My parents lived across the country in Lake Tahoe. I didn't want them to know unless it was absolutely necessary….my mom would absolutely go ape shit and fly out here, insisting to stay with me until I recovered. Jill and Brooke were over 3 hours away…I knew Jill had enough on her plate with the wedding and Brooke was trying to get ready for her move. There was someone else though…my brain struggled to remember…trying to sort through the blinding pain.

Bucky!

An image of his face popped into my head…of course, that was the one person I needed by my side right now…having Bucky there would make everything better.

"Yes….please...Bucky" Pain suddenly shot up my arm and I struggled to concentrate on calling the phone number out to him. Everything was jumbled in my head and I groaned in frustration.

"Is his number in your phone" Jim asked gently, realizing I was having a hard time focusing on anything but the pain.

"Yes…my purse" I answered weakly.

We had reached the ambulance and another EMT was opening the door. I felt myself raised and then pushed in. Jim stuck his head out the door, "Miller, grab her purse from the SUV"

A few moments later, a hand appeared carrying my bag and Jim took it and sat it down on the bench next to the stretcher.

"Please" I said, motioning to my purse, trying to make him understand that I wanted him to call Bucky now.

He understood what I wanted but he shook his head, "We need to get you stable first" The ride to the hospital was a short one, the sirens blaring caused my head to pound harder. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on anything but the pain….it wasn't working. The ache deep inside my head was too much, I felt myself slipping back into the darkness.

I heard him calling my name but it sounded so far away…"Eden….stay with me, I need you to stay awake for me…don't close your…"

And then I heard nothing.

…...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...…

Steve was patting me on the back as we walked out of Dr. Peters' office, a proud grin on his face. He had met me at the therapist's office at 9:00 am offering his support; "I'm with you to the end of the line buddy" I smiled at him, remembering telling him that exact same thing to him, years ago, when he had lost his folks. My night with Eden had put me in a more agreeable mood and I was completely willing to describe to the doctor what I had felt and experienced during the failed mission. When my required hour was up, I was still talking and Steve and Dr. Peters' graciously let me continue. Today, it felt better to talk about it and try and understand it. By the time we were done, it had been nearly an extra hour.

"Mr. Barnes, I have to say, I am very encouraged by what we have discussed here today. You seem to be handling this much better than I anticipated. Whatever the cause of this change in you is, I must say it is a positive one that I hope continues."

He turned to Steve, "Captain Rogers, thank you for sitting in with us today. If Mr. Barnes wishes, you can join us again at the same time on Wednesday"

He nodded his head, "Yes sir"

We made our way out, heading to Steve's car.

"So what now, Buck? Are you up for a workout?" he said, starting the car.

I looked at my watch, it was 11:15. I knew Eden was probably awake by now and had seen the note I had left for her. I didn't want to seem too needy and call her right away and ask to come back over so I agreed to go workout with Steve.

We headed to the gym, engaging in chit chat along the way. I could tell Steve wanted to ask about what had transpired between Eden and I last night but he was just too good of a guy to just blatantly ask. Eventually though, the need to know was just too much for him and he began to drop hints.

"So how was your night?" he asked, casually

"It was fine" I said, not elaborating.

Steve glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, a small smile on his face, waiting for me to continue and then frowning when I didn't.

"How was Eden this morning?" he finally asked.

I turned to him, trying to not to smile...I did not succeed. I was a gentlemen…I don't kiss and tell…but I did tell him that it was the best night of my life and a few other small details.

"I'm happy for you Bucky, for you both. I'm glad to see you found a friend who seems to accept you for you"

"I already had a friend who accepted me for me" I said, patting his shoulder, "but I get what you're saying…and thank you."

We rode in silence after that, eventually getting stuck in traffic only 2 blocks from the gym.

"Uh oh, car accident….looks like a bad one too" he said, peering his head out the window.

From my seat I couldn't see anything but the back of the truck in front of us. Traffic was down to one lane so were moving along slowly. We were almost to the wreck when my phone rang. I looked down to see it was Eden calling.

I answered with a smile, "Good morning. I'm sorry I had to leave so early this morning. How's your day going?"

"Is this Bucky?" I heard a masculine voice ask. I looked back down at the phone…it was her number.

"Who is this? Why do you have Eden's phone? Where is she?" I demanded.

Steve looked over at me with a confused look on his face. We were just a couple of cars away from the wreck now; I could see the blue and the red of the police lights.

"My name is Jim Holloway, I'm a paramedic."

I froze. My head jerked in the direction of the wreck, the truck in front of me finally moved to reveal the ugly scene. A black truck was off to the side, its front bumper completely smashed in…police officers were looking inside of it, searching for something. A green truck was not far away, its front end also crushed…paramedics were helping a man get out of the passenger side door. The man seemed okay but I saw them leading him off to a nearby ambulance.

My heart dropped when I saw the blue SUV. The passenger side was completely caved in…I inhaled loudly as Steve made the turn and the other side was revealed. The back driver's side door was pushed in…I could see where the driver's door had been cut away.

"What is it Bucky?" I heard Steve ask.

I didn't answer him, concentrating on the man on the phone, "Eden asked me to call you. She's been in an accident. We will be pulling up to Liberty General in a few moments, do you know where that is?"

"Yes, I'm only a couple of blocks away. Let me speak with her"

My heart drop when he hesitated, "I'm sorry, you can't talk to her right now….she's unconscious. When you get to the hospital, park in the emergency room lot and come through the double doors."

I heard the phone go dead and I looked up at Steve.

"For God sakes Buck, what is it?" he asked.

I looked at the blue SUV again and shook my head, trying not to believe it was true, "It was Eden"

Steve's mouth dropped open, "Where are they taking her?"

"Liberty General" I said in a whisper.

"That's only a couple blocks away Bucky." He said, putting his foot on the gas pedal and maneuvering his car in that direction.

I heard him telling me over and over again not to worry….that Eden would be okay.

An image of her flashed in my head and I clenched my fist tightly, feeling the tears forming in my eyes, threatening to slide down my face.

Oh God, what if she isn't okay.