Chapter THIRTY-TWO
"How bad is it?" Bodahn asked as he held the door for the entourage that waited outside. His eyes lit upon Hawke's blood-covered sleeping countenance in Fenris's arms, then widened in horror as Donnic brought Leandra inside.
"Send for her Grace at the Chantry," Donnic gently told Bodahn. "And do be discreet."
Bodahn nodded, bowed, and then raced out the door. A crowd had gathered outside, the nobles rubbernecking for the latest gossip on the Amell-Hawke family. Discretion was impossible, at this point. Anders closed the door, ignoring the cries of the people asking for information. He heard a couple voices say that the Hawke estate was probably going to be up for sale soon, that Leandra and Aria both were dead. He shook his head. The vultures. They knew nothing, and cared even less.
Donnic took Leandra's body up to her bed chamber and gently deposited her on the bed. Fenris took Aria to her own room and did the same. He pulled the chair from her desk over to sit next to her. His mind reeled. Just a few months ago, she'd confessed her failures to him, when he'd confessed his to her—not that she had ever failed. She took her responsibility to her family seriously. Her family was everything to her, one of the few things that drove her, and now they'd all been violently ripped away. Leandra's death was an especially cruel cut to Aria, he well knew. Especially... Especially with this fresh, raw, devastating horror. First her father, then her brother, then Bethany, and now her mother. The only comfort she could seek was in knowing that Bethany was alive, at least, surrounded by armoured men and powerful mages. He catalogued that as something he could say to comfort her when she woke. If she woke.
Merrill silently joined him, tears in her overly large, jewel-like eyes. "Poor, poor Hawke," she sobbed on a whisper, taking the rogue's hand in both of hers. She grimaced at the blood. "How could someone do this?"
"She slaughtered him for his troubles," Fenris venomously replied. "She…ripped his heart out in front of his own eyes."
"A trick she learned from you," Merrill almost fondly stated. She went to the wash basin Orana had left that morning on Hawke's vanity, wetted the linen that sat next to it, and came back to start cleaning the gore from Aria's face and hands. She knew, as did anyone close to her, how much Hawke hated being dirty.
"No… It was a message. That…monster butchered all those women to piece them together in the…abomination he turned her mother into. He said he did it for love. Aria took his heart for it," Fenris replied, watching Merrill work.
"How is what he did love?" Merrill asked, aghast. She rinsed the cloth in the basin and returned, managing to get the worst of it off Aria's face.
"It isn't," Fenris snarled. "And she's paying the price for it."
Donnic entered the room then, with Aveline and Gamlen. Isabela and Varric followed, along with Bodahn, Orana, the Grand Cleric Elthina, and Anders. Two attendants flanked the Grand Cleric, though they remained outside. They would help cleanse the deceased and administer last rights. Fenris stood and bowed as the Grand Cleric silently strode up to the bed. Merrill backed away to give her full access to Hawke.
"This poor child," Elthina sadly stated, smoothing her hand over Aria's forehead. "She gives so much, takes so little, and still it isn't enough. The Maker must have a greater plan for her, to test her so sorely." She turned to face the group of Hawke's most devoted friends, a sad smile gracing her lips. "Take care of her, as she has taken care of you. The foreseeable future will be dark indeed for her."
Someone's voice called out from downstairs then, and they all turned to listen. Bodahn excused himself to tend to the new visitor. A moment later, Ser Cullen the Knight-Captain from the Circle and First Enchanter Orsino entered the room.
"Maker have mercy," Ser Cullen sadly stated. "Is it true? Is Mistress Hawke dead?"
"I'll take this," Aveline said to no one in particular, escorting them out to the landing.
"Bethany and her sister were so close," First Enchanter Orsino quietly said. "This will... Devastate her."
"Hawke's not dead," Aveline informed them. "We had to—sedate her."
Cullen and Orsino shared a confused look. "Why? Why is the Grand Cleric in there then?" Cullen asked.
"We sent for Grand Cleric Elthina because Hawke's mother, Leandra, was murdered. Remember that templar, Emeric?"
Cullen's eyes widened in shock. Emeric was murdered in Lowtown after he continually and relentlessly pursued the criminal. "No! He was right?"
"We thought we'd gotten the killer, but we were wrong," Aveline bitterly stated, feeling that this tragedy was not Hawke's doing, but her own. She had failed to listen. She had failed to act. Because of her grave error in judgment, Hawke was the one footing the bill for the aftermath of this crime. It made Aveline sick to her stomach.
"And now?" Orsino pressed.
"Hawke slew him for what he did to her mother. It's…bad. He was using blood magic and necromancy. He took Leandra's head and pieced it onto another body."
Orsino wrung his hands, a gesture Aveline noted with suspicion. She'd seen enough criminals in her lifetime to recognize a tell when it happened. Why would he feel guilty?
"So…Mistress Amell is…" Orsino haltingly said, looking over at the door to the matriach's bedroom.
"She was a victim of his heinous, unholy magic," Aveline told him.
"That's unforgivable. To the Void with him," Cullen spat. "Guard-Captain, if I may: Hawke has done the Order many services over the years. I will approach the Knight-Commander about releasing her sister to Hawke's custody for a few days, so that they may grieve together."
"That is very kind of you," Aveline replied, clapping her hand on his shoulder. "I know Hawke would appreciate that."
"I wouldn't expect Knight-Commander Meredith to honor that request," Orsino scoffed. "Especially since Viscount Dumar kept Hawke from swinging from a noose for harbouring an apostate."
"Knight-Commander Meredith is not without mercy," Cullen gently interjected. "She is well aware of the good Hawke has done for this city, and for the Order, personally. I will try my best. Mistress Bethany is all Hawke has left."
"Thank you, sers," Aveline said to both of them, bowing courteously. "I appreciate the effort, no matter the outcome, as I'm sure Aria will also."
They bowed and took their leave, escorted out by Bodahn. Anders joined Aveline on the landing. She couldn't bear to be in that room, seeing how broken Hawke was. It unnerved her. Everyone had this idea that Aria was invincible. This proved how fragile she really could be.
"That was kind of them," Anders stated.
"I don't expect anything to come of it, but it was a nice gesture," Aveline dubiously responded.
"Knight-Captain Cullen is a good man."
"I'm surprised to hear you say that."
Anders sighed. "I don't hate all templars. Just the ones who abuse their station. Cullen has been very objective and merciful when the situation called for it—and that's saying something, as he was a victim of blood magic himself."
"I'll take your word for it; I hardly know the man except in passing," Aveline tersely replied.
Outside, the crowd that had gathered shouted questions at Cullen and Orsino as they departed. Aveline groaned and Donnic joined them.
"We'd better get that lot under control. A noble riot is exactly what the Viscount does not need right now," Donnic gently told his Captain-girlfriend.
"Indeed," Aveline breathed. It was a relief to have something else to focus on. "Let's go have them disperse. Gently. There's been enough violence tonight."
Donnic inclined his head to Anders, then followed the Guard-Captain down the stairs. Bodahn let them out, then threw the heavy bar across the doors at Aveline's behest. Anders stared at the door to Leandra's bedroom, tears brimming in his eyes. There wasn't a person in Kirkwall who bore Leandra ill will. She was beloved by all who knew her and she certainly didn't deserve this. Justice flared within him, also angered by the terrible turns this evening had taken.
"This is bad, Blondie," Varric's voice drew him back to the real world.
Anders sighed, his heart heavy. "Yes. Yes it is."
"I've never seen her fight like that. I half wonder if she wasn't possessed," Varric humourlessly chuckled.
"She was possessed, but not by a spirit other than her own," Anders replied. "I worry. She will not be the same ever again after this."
"Oh, I don't know about that. Aria's the toughest person I've ever known. It's going to take time, maybe a long time, but I don't think she'll give up," Varric countered.
"Her family means everything to her," Anders stated, his voice shaky. "Everything she's done has been for them. She made a deal with Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds, to get them here. She braved the Deep Roads to give her mother the life she deserved, only to lose her to a death she didn't deserve. The injustice of it…"
"I take it Justice isn't so opposed to having Hawke in your life now?" Varric softly said so no one could hear.
Anders shook his head. "Since the Fade, Justice is quite approving of having Aria around. And he's just as angry as I am at this."
Isabela joined them, with Merrill on her arm. Her normally cajoling aura was dampened considerably and her eyes were slightly red. Merrill was openly crying, her cheeks stained with tears.
"What are we going to do?" Merrill asked them all.
"There isn't really anything we can do," Isabela darkly stated, her chameleon-esque eyes simultaneously furious and sad.
"All we can do is be here for her," Varric diplomatically stated, handing Merrill his kerchief. She dabbed at her eyes, offering him a sad smile in thanks.
"First Enchanter Orsino and Knight-Captain Cullen offered their condolences, and a courtesy," Anders informed them.
"Really? Now that is interesting," Varric glibly catalogued that tidbit in his mind. "What did they say?"
"Knight-Captain Cullen promised Aveline that he would talk to the Knight-Commander about releasing Bethany to Aria's care for a few days, to grieve for Leandra," Anders relayed, almost verbatim.
"That's very sweet of them," Merrill sniffled, looking back at Hawke's closed door.
"I doubt it'll actually happen, but it's a kind offer all the same," Varric stated, mirroring everyone's thoughts with the remark.
"The Knight-Commander hates Hawke," Anders quietly said. "I have that on good authority."
"Yes, but she won't balk at the chance to be seen as something other than a heartless tyrant," Varric played the devil's advocate. "Or at least I hope she's that smart."
"That remains to be seen," Anders quipped. He looked around at all of them. "I think…perhaps we should go. Fenris is with her, and I doubt she'll want to see anyone else for a while."
Isabela nodded in agreement, and gently nudged Merrill towards the staircase. Varric and Anders followed.
"Drinks are on me at the Hanged Man tonight, if anyone else would care to drown today's misery away," Varric addressed them all as Bodahn opened the door. Merrill winced when the heavy bar clunked into place after the door closed behind them.
"I'll take you up on that," Anders said.
"Aye," Isabela agreed. "Same."
"I don't think there's enough drinks in Kirkwall to drown that," Merrill chimed sadly.
"Doesn't mean I'm against trying," Varric said. "C'mon. There's nothing more we can do here tonight."
ooooooo
The rising sun brought Fenris out of the uncomfortable sleep he'd managed to finally fall into. He cracked his neck, then turned to check on Aria. She hadn't moved since he'd repositioned her on her side before he fell asleep very, very early this morning. She looked, for the moment, at peace.
He'd ushered the Grand Cleric Elthina out after she delivered the funeral rites to Hawke's mother and the attendants had finished with the care of the deceased. Everyone else had gone, presumably to drown their sorrows, well before the Grand Cleric had entered Leandra's room with Gamlen. Elthina left with Gamlen, speaking of the possibility of having Bethany brought to the mansion the next day so she could grieve with her family, rather than in the Gallows alone. Fenris wondered now if the Grand Cleric would be able to deliver on that promise. He fervently hoped so.
Fenris stood then, and stretched his sore back. He was still covered with the gore of last evening's toils. His stomach rumbled, and he realized it had been nearly a day since he'd last eaten. He gently turned Aria onto her back. He'd removed her armour once everyone had left last night, and positioned her under her covers. Her face still bore some of the grime of battle, as did her hands, despite Merrill's attempts to clean them. Fenris kissed her forehead, then left the room. He would bathe her later, he decided. Perhaps it would help wake her. Before Merrill departed with Isabela last night, she voiced her concern. The sleep spell she had done should have only kept Aria in that state for less than an hour. The rogue still hadn't woken up yet. At this point, it was up to Aria—and obviously, she didn't want to face the world yet.
Orana was already in the kitchen preparing breakfast when he entered. She smiled sweetly at him but said nothing as she cracked a few eggs into a frying pan. Bodahn and Sandal entered shortly thereafter, Bodahn's eyes red and puffy. Fenris had to look away from him. He couldn't let sorrow overtake him.
"Did you sleep well, messere?" Orana asked the other elf, spearing a few sausages onto a plate. She placed some toast and scrambled eggs onto it, then handed it to Fenris.
"I slept," he grunted in reply, taking the plate. "Thank you." It felt strange to have someone else making breakfast for him. A servant, no less. It made him slightly uncomfortable.
"Thank you for staying with the mistress last night. She…is in a bad way," Orana continued, serving plates to Bodahn and Sandal, then lastly herself.
They sat at the table together and tucked in to their breakfast.
"Aria's mad. Enchantment didn't work," Sandal sadly stated, his overly-large blue eyes wide and teary.
"Oh no, my boy. Enchantment did work," Bodahn laid a reassuring hand on the young man's shoulder. "Bad men happened."
Sandal nodded mutely and said nothing more after that. Bodahn smiled sadly at Fenris. Orana's eyes shifted to the coals in the hearth, then she sat up straighter, as if she'd suddenly remembered something she'd forgotten to do.
"I'll take some water up for Mistress's bath. She'd enjoy that," the girl sweetly said.
"I'll help you. I was planning on bathing her myself," Fenris said, surprised by their shocked stares.
"I—I don't know if that's quite acceptable," Bodahn haltingly protested.
"Mistress Hawke is very modest," Orana gently chided.
"Mistress Hawke has spent half of the last months' worth of nights in my arms. I'll take care of her," Fenris brusquely stated.
"Well there is that," Bodahn kindly agreed.
"I'm sorry if I offended, messere," Orana quietly said, her eyes downcast.
"Do not apologize; you did nothing wrong. You defended her and for that I am thankful," Fenris hurriedly stated, though the bite didn't altogether leave his tone. "But I will see to her needs in that respect for now."
"As you wish, messere," Orana responded with a gentle smile that fully reached her eyes.
Fenris, Bodahn, and Orana took water up the stairs to heat on the hearth in Aria's room when they finished breakfast. Aria still had not moved a single muscle when they entered. Bodahn's face was sad as he looked over her.
"Mistress Hawke, do please wake up soon," he quietly said to her, then left the room.
"Why did that man do this?" Orana asked no one in particular, her gem-like eyes full of sorrow. She left Hawke's side and went to her closet. "We'll probably have visitors. What do you think she'd like to wear?"
"I don't know. Just...do your best," Fenris distractedly replied, willing the fire in the hearth to heat the water faster. He was trying hard not to be curt with the other former slave. He knew the torments Hadriana used to inflict on those in her service.
The elven girl selected wisely. She brought out new undergarments that were black lace; something Hawke was fond of wearing under everything, even her armour. Orana then selected a pair of buff-colored breeches that looked as though they'd never been worn, and an emerald green peasant blouse that was off-the-shoulder and had a slightly fitted bodice that laced with white cord. Orana laid them on the bed, then turned back to where Fenris sat next to Hawke.
"Is there anything else you'd like me to help with?" she asked, her voice quavering with sadness.
"Yes. Send for Anders and Gamlen," Fenris replied. "If you would, please."
"Right away, messere," Orana said with a curtsy. She strode from the room and gently closed the door behind her.
As soon as she was gone, Fenris went over to where Aria still lay comatose. "Aria, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to return home to fetch some things. I'll be back momentarily." He bent and kissed her forehead, then left the room.
"Is everything alright, messere?" Orana asked as Fenris met her at the door. They left the mansion together. Fenris noted with dismay that several people lingered about the Hawke estate. Aveline had the good sense to post two guardsmen at Hawke's door.
Fenris nodded to the guards, then turned to Orana. "I'm going home to fetch a change of clothes. I will return shortly. Get Anders first and have him accompany you to get Gamlen. Hopefully by the time you return, I'll have Aria awake."
Orana nodded in response and left him. He ran to his estate and grabbed a change of clothes, then hastened back to Hawke's estate. He hurriedly strode back up to Aria's room and locked the door behind him.
He took the kettles off the hearth and dumped them into the tub. The water wasn't as warm as he thought Aria would like, so he plunged his arms into the tub and flared his brands. A moment later, a thick layer of steam rolled off the water. He gathered Aria's bathing implements then set about the task of preparing her. He stripped himself, then collected her unconscious body in his arms.
Fenris lowered himself into the tub and positioned Aria so that he could wash her. He was quick about it, knowing how efficient of an errand-runner Orana was. He had just started rinsing the soap from her hair when she stirred, her hand covering his where it rested around her waist. Their fingers curled together and he finished rinsing her hair. She sat up in the tub and grabbed the cream rinse, then worked it through her long, platinum-coloured, damp tresses. She let the cream saturate her hair, leaning back against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.
"You're going to smell like a woman for the next couple of days," her sleep-roughened voice greeted his ears.
Fenris tightened his embrace and rested his forehead against her shoulder. "I'm glad you decided to come back."
Tears sprang to Aria's eyes. She'd been in the Fade, she was sure. She searched and searched for her mother there, in their old Lothering home, but she was all alone. The warmth of the water and the comforting scent of the soap had drawn her back, but it was his tender actions that made her want to even open her eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered, then sat forward to use the pitcher to rinse her hair. She turned in the tub to face him, handing him the wash rag he'd used to clean her body with. He took it and put some of her soap on it, but when he moved to start washing himself, she gently took over the task.
Fenris said nothing, just watched. It was an odd feeling, having someone care for him like this. His fierce need for independence warred with his need for her touch. She was brisk, but gentle, and the grime turned the water dark. They rinsed and rose from the tub after they were sufficiently clean and they dressed themselves.
"Where's...Mother?" Aria asked him as she pulled her hair up into her characteristic ornate bun.
"She is in her room," Fenris softly stated, watching her fingers work.
"Has she been given last rites?" Aria tearfully queried, managing to thwart the sob that threatened to choke her.
"Yes. Grand Cleric Elthina was here last night," he answered her.
Aria finished her hair, then combed her fingers through his. She smiled a sad, loving smile and tousled his hair. "May I trim this up a bit? You're getting kind of shaggy."
"Not too much," Fenris admonished.
"I won't. I used to cut Father and Carver's hair all the time," Aria replied, the sting of their memory bringing more tears to her eyes.
Fenris watched in silence while she fished a sharp pair of small shears out of her writing desk. She snatched her comb off the bed side vanity, then motioned him to sit in the chair he'd dragged next to her bed. She wrapped a towel around his shoulders, then quickly went to work. She snipped an inch or two off the length of his hair while keeping his trademark style intact—sharpening it up a bit. She gave him her looking glass, then she swept up the trimmings.
"Thank you," he quietly said, handing the small hand mirror back to her. He tugged the towel from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor while Aria placed the mirror back on the night stand. She turned to look at him, her eyes haunted.
"What do I do now?" Aria helplessly asked him. "I've...lost everything."
"You keep going. You aren't alone," he feverishly responded, nearly unsettling the chair as he abruptly stood. He strode over to her and cupped her face in his hands. "I don't know what to say about all of this. I don't...know how to offer the comfort you need. But I do know that so long as I breathe, you are not alone."
Aria smiled through her tears and rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him. Then, she went to the tub and pulled the plug so that the water drained out. She was just about to unlock the door when someone rapped three times, lightly and politely.
"Messere?" Orana's voice came from the other side. "Anders and Gamlen await you in the parlor."
Aria swiftly opened the door and Orana's eyes went wide with joy. She threw herself at Aria and engulfed her in a hug.
"Oh! Mistress! I'm so glad you're awake!" the little elven girl cried, burying her face against Aria's shoulder.
At first Aria didn't know what to think, but she was thankful for such a greeting. She embraced the girl, then gently brought her back so that Aria could look into her eyes. "Thank you," Aria softly said, her eyes earnest. Aria then released her. Fenris was right behind them as they went down the stairs.
"I'm so happy to see you're awake," Anders gushed as she entered the room. He too engulfed her in a hug, but not so exuberantly as Orana had.
Gamlen held out his arms to her and Aria willingly went into them. He looked how she felt. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, his shoulders hunched as though under a great weight, and his skin was pale. He looked as though the world had just ended. And it had—nothing would ever be the same after this.
"I feared we'd lose you too," her uncle whispered against her hair. "I'm glad you decided to wake."
The meeting was interrupted by a heavy knock on the front door. Then the bell pull sounded. Bodahn raced to answer it, calling for Hawke as soon as he opened the door. Aria strode out to the foyer and the sight there made her stop dead in her tracks.
Ser Cullen and Grand Cleric Elthina stood there with a complement of templars behind them, surrounding a person Aria couldn't quite see. Ser Cullen stepped to the side and offered the woman his hand. But the woman had clear line of sight now and her gaze met Aria's.
Aria bolted at the same time as the dark-haired, doe-eyed woman did and they collided in the center of the foyer, dropping to their knees together.
"Oh sister!" Bethany cried, kissing Aria's forehead and cheeks. "Oh sister, I'm so sorry!"