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"Ben, don't you think you might be slightly overreacting?"

I paused from where I had been pacing up and down in front of the window and looked over to where Evelyn was sitting on the couch watching me with an expression of both concern and slight disbelief. To my irritation, she hadn't immediately joined me in my panic and had instead tried to reason with me like an attorney. "No, I am not overreacting. Haven't you heard anything that I just said?"

"Yes, but…"

"But what?"

"But you don't even know that they're related." I snorted and shook my head. "You don't, Ben. There must be hundreds of people named Swann in the five boroughs. The chances of Andrew having any connection…"

"He's his son, Evelyn, he has to be. You heard what he said. He said that his father left when he was seven. If he's nineteen now, then that's twelve years ago. Nineteen eighty-five. The year I got Swann put away."

"Ben…"

"And he also said that his father reappeared four years ago and then disappeared again. Nineteen ninety-three. That's when Swann got released after the police found Cohen's body and then a few months later he was arrested again for commissioning Bobbitt's murder." I took a breath as she continued to look at me. "I can't believe that you don't remember the case."

"I had a few things going on in my life at that time," she reminded me. "I recall reading something about it…"

I sat down in the chair opposite her and sat forwards. "The man is a snake. He sued me for malicious prosecution after he won his retrial. Do you know how humiliating that was?" I thought back to those dark times, to the nights spent in my apartment going over and over it all in my head, feeling as though I was totally alone, no-one to turn to, no-one to confide in. Maybe if I'd had her, it would all have been so different. "Everyone in the office was looking at me, questioning me, wondering about my ability." I shook my head. "You have no idea what that was like."

"Well he obviously didn't win."

"Of course he didn't. The lawsuit fell when he went back to jail but still…I had to sit through a deposition while he went through all my financial records and picked over the bones of my life, not to mention my divorce." I shuddered slightly at the memory of the look on Swann's face as he had cheerfully told me I should have hired a better divorce attorney. "He and his state appointed paralegal…"

Evelyn didn't say anything for a long moment and then sat forwards, putting her hand over mine. "Ok, let's say that Andrew is Philip Swann's son. It doesn't mean that he's anything like his father. It doesn't mean that he's a bad person…"

"No?"

"No. A child isn't the sum total of their parents…"

"Would you say that if we were talking about Edward's son?" The words left my mouth before I had properly thought them through. Her mouth dropped open slightly and she pulled her hand from mine, sitting back on the couch. Immediately, I felt bad for having brought him up, but I couldn't deny that there was a parallel there and eagerness to get my point across spurred me to continue. "I mean, what if Kate grows up and brings little Jack Burns home to meet us. How would you feel then?" She looked away, her jaw clenched, and I couldn't read her emotions. "I am not having Swann or anyone related to him around my family, Evelyn. If Andrew is his son then that's it. Over. Finished. Whether Pamela likes it or not." As though I had only just remembered that she had turned tail and pursued him after our fight, I got to my feet again and resumed my pacing. "I'm going to call the police."

"They are not going to be interested in a sixteen-year old girl missing for an hour," she said tightly. "Come on, you know that."

"So, what? I just wait until she doesn't come home for the next twenty-four hours?" I rounded on her again.

"If you call them, then that's what they'll tell you."

"Fine, then I'll call Lennie."

"Don't you think we've pulled enough favours? You've already got Lennie and his partner looking into what happened with the phone call from Kate's daycare."

"So?"

"So, they are not our own personal investigators."

"You wanted to find out what was behind that phone call as much as I did," I reminded her angrily.

"I know that…"

"Well then if you don't want me to call Lennie, I'll call Mike." Lifting the phone, I punched in the number even as Evelyn sighed and shook her head. "It rang out three or four times before Elizabeth answered. "Liz? It's Ben Stone?"

"Ben?" she replied, sounding surprised to hear from me. "Is everything all right?"

"Not really. I was hoping I could talk to Mike."

"Of course, hold on…"

I could hear the sound of muffled voices before, seconds later, Mike's voice replaced that of his wife, "Everything ok?"

"No," I said, glancing at Evelyn again, "it's not."

XXXX

"So, how long as she been gone?"

"Two hours now."

"And you've no idea where she might have gone?"

I shook my head. "We don't know where this Andrew character lives and even if we did…who knows if that's where they are."

"Uh huh…" Mike looked at Evelyn and then back at me again. "What makes you think that Andrew is related to Philip Swann?"

"His last name is Swann," I said, "and the dates he gave for his father being in and out of his life match with the dates that Swann would have been in and out of prison."

"That's it?"

"What more do you want?"

"Ben…" Mike sat forwards, clearly trying to form words of diplomacy, "You could have called your local precinct about this."

"We didn't think they would take it seriously," I replied hurriedly.

"Yeah…" he looked at Evelyn again and then back at me. "You know that there's nothing we can do until Pamela's been gone for twenty-four hours. We can't log her as a missing person until that time frame's passed."

"This is Philip Swann we're talking about here," I looked at him, almost unable to believe that he wasn't taking this whole thing seriously. "You know him, Mike, you remember what he was like." He didn't say anything, and I angrily got to my feet. "I can't believe nobody else is concerned about this!"

"Of course we're concerned," Evelyn said. "But Mike's right, the police can't do anything right now and we have no proof that Andrew is related to Swann and even if he is…isn't Swann still in prison?"

"So?"

"So…" she spread her hands. "What harm could Pam really come to?"

I shook my head and started pacing again, anger and frustration coursing through me. It was like travelling back in time to Sid Cohen's body being discovered. Claire had been assigned to assist me in the investigation and in the beginning, even she had doubted Swann's guilt. She had thought I was being over zealous, that I was blinkered and couldn't see past the fact that, on the face of it, there was evidence to suggest that he might have been innocent. Fortunately, that had all unravelled over time and she had been forced to admit that she had been wrong, finally seeing him as I did. It had rankled at the time, really rankled, and it did so now, more so for the fact that my own wife couldn't see the truth.

"Tell you what," Mike said after a prolonged silence. "I'll contact the local precinct and let them know that you have concerns. If after twenty-four hours you still haven't heard from her, you can call them and they'll already have all the details."

"Couldn't you find out Andrew's address? He told us his mother was a bank teller in Midtown. Surely it wouldn't be difficult to find out where she lived and get someone to check and see if Pam is there?"

"Ben, you're putting Mike in an awkward situation," Evelyn said quietly.

"I don't think I am," I replied. "I think I'm just expressing the concern any father would for his daughter, right Mike?" I looked at him pointedly, remembering the conversation we had had at the bistro the previous weekend when he and Elizabeth had announced they were expecting. It wasn't my usual style to play on something so personal, but I couldn't help but feel as though nobody was listening.

Mike got to his feet and sighed, "I'll see what I can do, ok? I can't promise any more than that."

"I appreciate that," I held out my hand and he shook it, though I could tell he still thought I was overreacting. Evelyn followed him to the door and saw him out before turning back to face me. "You think I shouldn't have done that?"

"Does it matter what I think?" she replied. "You haven't listened to a single thing I've said since Pam left."

"Evelyn, she is my daughter…"

"You think that I don't know that? I live here too. I'm her stepmother. I love and care about her as much as you do."

"Do you?"

Her eyes narrowed, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" I didn't want to say it and yet the weight of my own fears was pressing down on my chest. Fortunately, she saved me the trouble. "Are you trying to suggest that because I'm not her mother that I don't care about what happens to her?"

"No, that's not…"

"Wow…" she shook her head. "That's really low, Ben. The entire time we have been together your kids have always been at the forefront of my mind. I know that I have done things in the past to hurt you but the thing that has always plagued me is how much I hurt them by leaving and I have tried so hard to make that up to them over the last few years. I have tried to be the best stepmother I could be and now you're going to turn around and tell me I'm not good enough? That I don't care enough?"

"I'm sorry…"

"If biology is so important, why haven't you called Laura? You still haven't even told her that Pam's been having sex, have you?"

"Why do you think I haven't told her?" I replied. "You know what's she like, and we seem to be co-parenting pretty reasonably right now. She hears about this and she'll be all over it in two seconds. Do you want that hassle?"

"Maybe you need to stop hoarding all the responsibility," Evelyn said. "You've already atoned for the years that you perhaps weren't as present in the kids' lives as you could have been. As you've alluded to, she is Pam's mother and she should shoulder equal responsibility for this."

I paused, digesting her words, and couldn't help but see there was at least a grain of truth in them. It had been three years since Peter and Pamela had come to live with me and there had been many occasions when it hadn't been lost on me that I had missed out on so much of their lives. Perhaps I was trying to make up for things by trying to deal with all the problems that teenagers bring on my own. And yet, I had Evelyn, but all I seemed to be doing right now was pushing her to the side. "You're right," I said finally. "I should have told her when we found out that Pam and Andrew were having a relationship. She needs to know."

"Yes, she does."

"And I didn't mean to imply that you don't care. I know that you care. I know that you love them and I know that I'm lucky you were willing to be their stepmother. I'm just…" I fought for the right words to let her know how I was feeling. "I guess I've always been a little worried for Pam. Deep down, she's open and trusting and I don't want someone, anyone, to take advantage of that. And the thought of Philip Swann having anything to do with her…" I broke off, feeling a wave of emotion sweep over me.

"Ben…" Evelyn stepped forward and pulled me in to her arms. "I understand that, of course I do. I'm just worried that you're putting two and two together and getting five, that's all. Not to mention the fact that you've seen what Pam's been like these past few weeks and I don't want you to do something that's going to potentially push her further and further away. God knows we have enough to worry about as it is."

I pulled back and looked at her. "I just need to know. I just need to know if they're related, that's all. If they aren't, then there's no problem. Well, no problem about that at any rate."

"And even if they are related, we need to give Andrew a chance," she said. "I'd like to think that, in the scenario you posed earlier, I'd be able to give Jack Burns a chance."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" I studied her face.

"Yes," she replied, though I wasn't completely convinced. "I do."

XXXX

I elected not to go to bed that night. Instead, I sat on the couch with the television on mute watching the pictures swirl in front of me. My brain was too active for sleep. All I could think about was my daughter, my little girl, being involved with that man. I knew that what Evelyn had said was right. Swann was in prison, what could he possibly do to hurt Pam and yet…

At two am, I made myself a cup of coffee and snuck into the bedroom to check that both Kate and Evelyn were still sleeping, before returning to the couch. Flicking through the channels, I found an old movie from the forties and it somehow captured my attention. I became engrossed in the lives of the characters and the story was just reaching the climax when I heard a key in the door. Leaping to my feet, I switched the set off in time to see Pamela come in. The moment she saw me, her expression turned from fear to relief to anguish and before she had even closed the door, she descended into tears.

Forgoing any anger I might have felt towards her, I hurried forwards and pulled her into my arms, relieved to feel her there, relieved that she was home, relieved that she was all right. She wrapped her arms around me and cried into my chest for what felt like hours but, in reality, was only a few minutes before pulling back and wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, black mascara smeared across her face. "I'm so sorry Dad…"

"It's all right," I reassured her, hugging her again. "It's all right. I'm just glad that you came back."

"I didn't mean what I said about you. I don't think you're an asshole…" she started crying again and I propelled her over to the couch and sat her down. "I just…I don't know. When you said that you didn't like Andrew…"

"Uh…I didn't say that, exactly," I reminded her. "All I said was that it would have been nice to have met him before you started sleeping with him." The words caught in my throat, but I forced myself to keep my tone neutral. "And he was very pleasant to talk to."

Pam looked up and met my gaze, "Really?"

"Really," I nodded. "Did you…did you go to his place after you left here?"

She shook her head, "No. I didn't have enough money to get downtown and he had already gone so…I just…walked around for a while."

"Oh Pam…" I sighed heavily, "you've been gone hours. You should have come back before now."

"I was scared that you would be angry with me after what I said."

I paused, knowing that I had been angry, been furious in fact, but that at the end of the day, what did it really matter? "Well…I've been called worse things than an asshole in my time."

She looked at me again, "You have?"

"Oh sure. Someone called me a gay-bashing son-of-a-bitch once."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really, and I got punched in the face for my trouble too so, you calling me an asshole…that's nothing in the grand scheme of things." I paused. "But you do owe Evelyn an apology too for what you said to her."

Pamela looked down at her hands. "Because I called her a slut?"

I winced slightly at her use of the word. "Yes. That was a pretty horrible thing to say, not to mention the fact that it's not true." She lifted her gaze to mine again and I could tell that she wanted to say something. "You know that, right?"

"If you sleep with a lot of people…"

"Yeah…?" I prompted when she didn't continue.

"I mean…doesn't that make you…I mean…well…"

I paused again, thinking about my own preconceptions. I remembered a case that I had prosecuted six years earlier where a college student had been gang raped at a frat party and the defence had made much of the fact that the victim had had something of a reputation. I recalled being somewhat surprised in my own staid way, that sex seemed to be something that was partaken of with no real thought for consequences or anything else. And I had been a college student in the sixties, the height of free love. Had I thought that Andrea Fermi was a slut? Had I ever thought that of my own wife?

In her first call to me from the treatment center upstate, Evelyn had apologised for drinking and for being with other men. I had accepted her apology and forgiven her for whatever transgressions she felt that she had committed, but beyond that we rarely talked about that side of her condition. On the occasions that she opened up to me about drinking or her feelings about her late husband, I listened and gave her the reassurance that I felt she needed, but she never mentioned the nameless, faceless men that she had been with and I never asked. I suppose that a part of me didn't want to dwell on it, didn't want to think about her being with anyone else, but was that because it still hurt somewhere deep down that she had rejected me or was it because I still had some chauvinism in me, buried away somewhere?

"I think that people sleep with other people for lots of different reasons," I said finally, "and it's not fair or appropriate to label a person for that, especially not a woman." She nodded and I cleared my throat, unsure that I really wanted to ask the next question, but feeling as though I had been led to it. "Besides Andrew, have you…?"

"No," she replied hurriedly. "He's been the only one." I tried hard not to show my relief, but it must have been obvious as she put her hand over mine. "And we've been careful, Dad, every time." I nodded, feeling somewhat uncomfortable at the content of the conversation and yet relieved that she felt able to speak to me about it. "Is it ok if I apologise to Evelyn in the morning? I'm really tired."

"Uh, of course, that's fine," I said, "you should get to bed and get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

"Thanks Dad," she hugged me tightly again and made for her room.

"Pam?"

"Yeah?"

I weighed up the wisdom of my next question but knew that I had to ask it. "Has Andrew…I mean, has he told you anything more about his father?"

She frowned, "How do you mean?"

"Well, he said at dinner that his father had been in and out of his life. I guess I was just wondering if he had told you any more about him. His name…what he does for a living, that sort of thing." Is his name Philip Swann? was what I really wanted to ask.

"No," she shook her head. "He doesn't seem to want to talk about him. Why?"

"No reason," I replied quickly. "I guess that if he's going to be around then it would be good to know a bit more about his family, that's all." She disappeared into her room and closed the door quietly behind her. Feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over me, I slipped into my own bedroom and quickly undressed for bed. When I slid in beside Evelyn, she rolled over and looked at me.

"I heard voices, but I didn't want to intrude. Is Pam ok?"

"She's fine," I replied, "she was just walking the streets this whole time."

"So, she wasn't with Andrew?"

"No. She's going to apologise to you in the morning for what she said."

"That's all right."

"No, it isn't. She needs to say sorry, Evelyn. It was a crass thing to say and she knows it."

"It was true though, right?"

I kissed her gently, "It wasn't true, not at all. I don't want you thinking that."

"You've never thought it?"

"No," I lied, "I haven't.