Walking down that hallway knowing I was leaving her was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I doubted myself and the actions I was taking with each step I took away from her apartment. I sulked back over to Steve's building and up the stairs to his apartment. I heard a feminine giggle as I put my key in and opened the door. Steve and Brooke were sitting on the couch next to each other, watching something on the television…they both looked up at me as I walked through the door. Steve shook his head; he knew what I had done. Brooke had a confused look on her face but the sound of her phone ringing distracted her before she could sort it all out. I watched as she reached for it…she glanced up at me when she saw who was calling. I watched Brooke's face as she spoke on the phone, listening to her side of the conversation.

"Hey Eden! Wait sweetie, I can't understand you" Brooke's eyes narrowed in on me angrily "Just stop crying and breathe…" she turned away from me and lowered her voice but I could still hear what she was saying. "Eden, I'm right next door at Steve's….I'll be there in just a minute…No Eden! I'm coming over now….cut that shit out Eden…you know that's not true" She threw a disgusted look over her shoulder and stomped out of the living room until I couldn't hear the conversation anymore.

I really fucked this up.

Steve walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder, I flinched away. I didn't want his comfort…I wanted to feel this pain, I needed to feel like shit right now for what I had done.

"Son of a bitch!" I heard Brooke yell, angrily stomping back into the living room. She walked over to me and got right in my face, "You fucking piece of shit! She's hysterical! I could barely understand what she was saying because she was crying so damn hard. Do you want to know what she just said to me? She thinks there is something wrong with her…first Michael and now Bucky…those were her exact words you dick. This is the same shit that happened when he cheated on her…she feels like this is somehow her fault."

"I explained to her…it's not…it's not her….you have to make her understand…" I was stuttering, unable to get the words out.

I told her that it had nothing to do with her…I just want to keep her safe.

"She said you promised her you would never leave her" she spit out.

Steve stepped forward and put his hand on her shoulder, "Brooke, he did it to keep her safe"

She glanced over at him, "So, you knew what he was planning to do?"

He nodded guiltily, "He talked to me about it…I don't necessarily agree with it but I can understand how he feels. I would never want to be the cause of something bad to happen to someone I cared about"

She took a step away from me and lowered her head for several moments, letting out a deep breath, "I get why you did it Bucky" she finally said, looking back up.

I think Steve and I were both equally surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth.

"Don't get me wrong, I still think you're a fucking idiot. You have no proof whatsoever that HYDRA was the cause of her accident. But I do respect the fact that you're doing this to keep her safe. You didn't know how Eden was before Michael…what he did destroyed a part of her. She finally seemed to be getting back to her old self…all because of you. I hope for her sake…for both your sakes…that you're wrong about the accident."

I nodded my head, swallowing the lump in my throat, "I hope your right Brooke, I really do. I love her. I just want to keep her safe"

I kept repeating those words over and over In my head…to convince myself I had done the right thing.

She put her hand on my shoulder, "I know you do…which is why I'm not kicking your fucking ass right now"

She turned to Steve and gave him a quick hug, "You're on my shit list for not warning me about what he was going to do"

Steve started to say something but she put her hands up to silence him, "You take me out for that coffee and I'll consider marking your name off"

With a sigh, she grabbed her purse, "Well, if you need me, I'll be over at Eden's…cleaning up this big fucking mess"

As she walked by me, she said quietly, "Don't worry Bucky, I'll take care of her for you…for now"

Once she was gone, Steve tried to talk to me but I wasn't having any of it. "Just go away Steve, I want to be alone" I sat down on the couch and lowered my face into my hands.

"Bucky…."

He jumped when I slammed my fist down on the coffee table loudly, "No Steve!"

I heard him sigh and turn to leave, heading in the direction of his bedroom. I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes, remembering every word Brooke had said.

"he destroyed a part of her" Please God, don't let me be the cause of that happening.

"she thinks there is something wrong with her" She's absolutely perfect, how could she think that?

The longer I thought about it, the more I realized I had made a terrible mistake. Eden had said it herself, if she was in danger, who better to protect her then me. I knew I needed to let her calm down; Brooke was over there right now talking with her. First thing tomorrow morning, I would go over there and tell her I was the biggest fucking idiot ever. I only hoped she would forgive me. Satisfied with my decision, I lay back on the couch and fell asleep.

That night, for the first time since the failed mission, I had a nightmare, the worst one I had ever experienced.

I was standing in a cemetery, surrounded by people dressed in black. I could feel the cold rain falling on me. I looked around and noticed Steve standing several feet away from me, his back turned. I made my way through the crowd, hearing some of them sobbing in anguish. When I reached Steve, he was staring down at a headstone, shaking his head sadly.

"Why didn't you protect her? She loved you." he turned to ask me.

I looked down to see what he was staring at.

"NO!" I screamed falling to my knees, running my hands down the headstone, tracing the words with my fingers.

In Loving Memory

Of

Eden Page

"If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever"

I looked up at Steve, "I did love her"

He shook his head again, "If you had loved her, you would have stayed away…she would have been safe"

"How did this happen?" I screamed, grabbing him roughly and shaking him, "Who did this to her?"

He turned and pointed behind me….when I turned around I was no longer in the cemetery. I was standing in the hallway outside of Eden's apartment. The door was opened slightly and I could hear her inside crying softly, "Please don't"

I pushed through the door and ran inside to see her facing me, a look of terror in her eyes.

"Help me Bucky" she screamed.

The knife being held at her throat dug into the soft skin of her neck, causing a trickle of blood to slowly slide down.

I looked up in anger to see who the hand holding the knife belonged to, "No, that's not possible, get away from her!"

The Winter Soldier stood behind her, metal arm tightening around her waist. I could only see his eyes, cold and uncaring.

I stepped forward when I saw him remove his metal arm from around her waist and use it to yank her hair back, exposing her neck. I screamed when I saw him draw the knife across her neck, the blood running down the front of her shirt. He released her and stepped back as she slid to the floor, her hands coming up to her throat. I fell down beside her, pulling her into my lap.

She was choking on her own blood, I could hear it gurgling as I pulled her into my arms. She reached out and touched my face with her blood stained fingers, "I love you" When her eyes finally closed, I let out a guttural scream.

"Bucky! Wake up!" I felt a hand slap me hard across the face. I sat up quickly, reaching my arm out to wrap my fingers around the neck of my assailant. I opened my eyes and saw my hand was squeezing Steve's throat. I released him instantly and stood up from the couch. I was covered in sweat and could feel my heart racing in my chest.

"I'm sorry" I panted, trying to catch my breath.

"It's okay Buck…it's okay" he said coughing. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No" I left it at that.

Steve was smart enough not to push and got up from the couch and walked over to me, patting me on the back. I heard him make his way to the bedroom and close the door behind him.

I looked at the clock on my phone.

5:30am

There was no going back to sleep after that…the nightmare had been so real. I noticed I had a text message…it must have come after I had fallen asleep. I clicked on it to read the message.

Eden: I'm hoping that you have had time to think more on the decision you made earlier. Bucky I can't lose you. Please reconsider. At least come back and stay here in my spare bedroom. If you don't want to be in a relationship with me, that's fine. But I can't stand the thought of you not being here, not being close to me. Please think about it. I love you.

I read the message again and then deleted it before laying my phone back down. I had reconsidered my decision before going to sleep but now….after that nightmare…I realized I had made the right decision the first time around. I had to stay away from her….even if HYDRA wasn't behind the accident…I had to protect her from them and from me.