Once Bucky had closed the door behind him, I sunk down on the couch too stunned to do anything but listen to my heart pounding in my chest.

He's gone…he promised me he would never leave me again and now he is gone.

He said he was going to stay at Steve's just until he was sure it wasn't HYDRA that caused my accident…to keep me safe…to protect me. I had never felt in danger so I didn't feel any safer now than I did 10 minutes ago. I only felt completely alone and abandoned by the only man I had really ever loved.

I sat there for several moments, willing the tears not to fall. Sheer willpower was not going to stop the flood of tears that were threatening to come. It started as a tightening in my chest and I tried to swallow that lump forming in my throat…it was useless; I could feel myself coming undone. I reached for my cell phone sitting on the side table and dialed Brooke's number…she had been there for me after Michael and I knew she would be there for me now.

"Hey Eden!" she said brightly after a few rings. Her happy tone caused the tears to finally overflow and slide down my cheeks. I tried to get the words out. I tried to tell her what had happened, but only sobbing came out between my gasps for breath.

"Wait sweetie, I can't understand you…just stop crying and breathe" she said, her voice suddenly void of its previous happy tone.

I finally managed to get a few words out, "Bucky…he…he left"

Her voice lowered, "Eden, I'm right next door at Steve's. I'll be there in just a minute"

Oh God, I hope Bucky isn't there right now…that's probably why she lowered her voice. Now he knows how pathetic I am. First Michael left me and now Bucky.

No! Bucky said he was doing this to protect…to keep me safe.

My heart was telling me that what Bucky had said to me was the truth. He honestly thought that doing this would keep me safe. But another voice inside my head was telling me that Bucky left because he wanted to…because he had tired of me, just like Michael.

Brooke and Steve must have been spending some time together. I suddenly felt guilty and selfish for calling her…why shouldn't she have some happiness?

"Brooke you should stay there with Steve. You can come by another time, I'll be fine" I stuttered.

"No Eden, I'm coming over now" she insisted.

"I don't want to ruin your night…I shouldn't have called you. I'm being a terrible friend, calling you in the middle of the night and expecting you to drop everything"

"Cut that shit out Eden. You know that's not true" she said, angrily…a few seconds passed; I could tell she was walking somewhere, probably into another room, "Tell me what happened"

I tried to get the words out…tried to tell her what Bucky had said about how he wanted to protect me, but the panic was setting in and I started to sob again, "He said…it was…for my protection…he left me Brooke…first Michael and now Bucky"

"Sweetie, there is nothing wrong with you…what is Bucky trying to protect you from?" she asked curiously.

I told her about what the insurance agent had said to me and what Bucky had told me when he came home. She listened silently, not interrupting me once.

"He promised he would never leave me Brooke…he promised. What's wrong with me Brooke? Why do they keep leaving me?" I was hysterical at this point, only incomprehensible words came from my mouth.

"Eden, I'll be there in five minutes and I don't want to hear a damn word about it" she said before hanging up on me.

I sat on my couch with my face buried in my pillow. True to her word, Brooke showed up about 5 minutes later. She sat on the couch next to me, patting my back as I cried my eyes out. She spent the next 3 hours comforting me, assuring me that Bucky didn't leave me because he wanted to, that it wasn't me. She was being surprisingly forgiving of Bucky…and it made me love her all the more. I don't know how I would have felt hearing her say awful things about him…I loved him.

Eventually I calmed down enough and she hugged me tightly before leaving, "Bucky will come to his senses Eden…everything will be fine once those fingerprints come back. He'll come over here and beg for your forgiveness for being a big fucking idiot"

I had smiled at her and walked her to the door. She turned to me, "Get some sleep Eden…call me if you need me"

Once I locked my front door, I headed into my bedroom to change into my night clothes. I went into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my nose was red from crying. I climbed into the bed and turned to face the side of the bed that Bucky had always slept on. I reached my hand over and rubbed the empty space next to me.

I can't lose him. First thing in the morning, I'm calling someone to see about getting those fingerprints processed quicker.

I picked up my phone and found his name…It took several tries to type out exactly what I wanted to say to him.

Eden: I'm hoping that you have had time to think more on the decision you made earlier. Bucky I can't lose you. Please reconsider. At least come back and stay here in my spare bedroom. If you don't want to be in a relationship with me, that's fine. But I can't stand the thought of you not being here, not being close to me. Please think about it. I love you.

I sat my phone down, hoping he would text me back quickly or better yet, show up at my door and scoop me up in his arms, telling me how much of a fool he had been. An hour later, neither of those things had happened and I fell asleep, unable to cry any more tears.

Bucky never responded to my text message that night, or any text message that I sent after that. I sent two or three a day…mostly just to say that I missed him and that I loved him. The day after he left me, I called the police station and demanded to talk to someone…they took my name and number down but I never received a call back. It was frustrating and I threw myself into my work to keep myself distracted.

I spent 12 straight hours working that first day, client after client…trying to dull the ache I felt deep inside…trying to distract myself. It was 7:00pm by the time I finally closed my laptop that night. I hadn't eaten anything all day but when I went to the kitchen to open the fridge, nothing seemed appetizing. I looked around my apartment, trying to figure out what to do. I walked over to my window, the one facing the park, and gazed out.

I might as well go running…maybe I'll run into him.

I changed into some sweat pants and a t-shirt and slipped on my running shoes. I didn't grab a sweater though…I knew it was cold outside but I felt like running hard and I knew before long I would be sweating hard too. I crossed the street and headed out to the park, stopping to stare at the park bench where I met Bucky before setting off. I ran faster than I had ever run before. When I felt like I couldn't run anymore I would think of Bucky and push myself even further. He was worried I needed protection, well, I would show him. I would get into the best shape of my life…I would learn to take care of myself.

I ran 6 laps before I absolutely knew I couldn't run one more step. I sat on the bench once I was done, looking out into the park. I thought back to that night I had met him…the way he had sat back and listened to me babble on and on. I remembered how it felt when he scooped me up in his arms and carried me home. Each memory weighed heavy on my heart and before I knew it, I was crying again. I had cooled off from my run and I began to shiver from the cold…even then, I stayed there on that bench. The longer I sat there, the more I began to feel that someone was watching me. I looked around the park and didn't notice anyone nearby…in fact, there seemed to be no one on the street. I looked down at my watch and was surprised to see it was 11:30.

I shook off the unsettling feeling and finally tried to sit up. My legs felt shaky and I was sore but the physical pain was easier to deal with then the pain in my heart. I couldn't believe I had been out there for nearly 4 hours. I limped my way home and back up to my apartment. I went straight into my bedroom, kicking my shoes off on the way and crawled into bed. I texted Bucky before I fell asleep and told him I loved him. My message went unanswered.

The second day was exactly the same routine. I worked hour after hour trying to keep my mind off of him; it seemed to help a little. By 8:30pm I knew I needed to stop, I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten so I made my way into the kitchen. I had to force myself to eat a banana, not enjoying it but knowing I needed to get something in my stomach. I put on some workout clothes and slipped on my shoes. I ran…around and around the park I went, pushing myself beyond my limit. 10 laps later I collapsed on the ground about 15 feet from the bench. I just sat there, trying to catch my breath, willing my weak ass to get up. It took every bit of strength I had to lift myself up off the ground and make my way home. My body was sore and I soaked in the tub for a long time that night. When I got out I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked haggard…dark circles under my eyes and pale skin. Those 10 pounds I had gained were gone…I knew I needed to force myself to eat more. Sleep that night did not come easily. When I woke up the next morning, I had the worst pain in my legs.

You're pushing yourself too hard Eden.

I lay in bed for a long time thinking about Bucky. I had to see him…I had to make him talk to me. I pulled out my cell phone and texted Steve.

Eden: Can we meet today?

Steve: Sure, what time?

Eden: Whenever you're free

Steve: How about we meet for lunch? The diner on the corner at noon?

Eden: I'll see you then.

Noon couldn't come fast enough. I did some work that morning and then took a quick shower and got dressed. I walked to the diner and saw Steve had already arrived and gotten a table. His eyes widened when he saw me and he immediately stood up and wrapped me in a tight hug. I knew why he looked surprised…it had only been a few days but I had lost quite a bit of weight…who knew a broken heart was the secret to losing those last 10 pounds?

I clung to him and he kept his arms around me until I finally pulled away. I sat down across from him and he smiled sadly at me.

"How are you? You look…."

"I know how I look Steve….I've been having a rough time." I replied, avoiding his gaze, "How's Bucky?"

Steve sighed, "He misses you…when he finishes with his trainees he comes home and mopes around the apartment. The last two nights he has left and disappeared for hours…I don't know where he goes"

"He won't answer my texts Steve. I can't keep doing this, I know it sounds dramatic but I'm lost without him. I need to see him" I said.

A waitress suddenly appeared and asked what we wanted to drink….Steve went ahead and ordered his usual Sprite and a hamburger and fries. When she turned to me, I ordered water and nothing else. Steve looked up at me, concern in his eyes, "When's the last time you ate Eden?"

I shook my head absentmindedly, "I don't know…Steve, please, will you help me? Just get me in front of him, that's all I'm asking"

"Eden, I've tried to talk to him…tried to encourage him to call you or go see you. He refuses…he gets really angry and stomps off"

"Then take me to him…take me to the SHIELD training center so I can talk to him. Please" I begged.

He looked unsure for a second but then he nodded and smiled at me, "Okay, I'll take you with me tomorrow to see him"

I reached out and grabbed his hand, "Thank you Steve…you are the best. Can you do one more thing for me? The police are taking their sweet time with those fingerprints…that could solve this whole problem. I've tried calling but it doesn't help. Do you know anyone?"

"I've tried calling myself too. I do have someone that owes me a favor though, I'll call him as soon as I leave here and see what he can do" he promised.

Steve's food arrived then and he ate as we chatted. He kept trying to offer me some food but I couldn't eat. We talked about Brooke and about how she had come over that night to watch a movie with him before being interrupted by Bucky showing up. He was planning on taking her out for coffee that night. He asked me what I had been doing the last few nights and I told him.

"Eden, you can't push yourself too hard…what are you trying to prove?" he asked, concerned.

I shrugged, "Maybe if I get in better shape, I can prove to Bucky that I can take care of myself…shit Steve, I don't know"

He kept trying to convince me to take it easy. Once he was done eating, we walked outside together and he hugged me tightly.

"Meet me by my car tomorrow at 11:00 and I'll drive you over. I'll get you in the building and then you're on your own okay?" he said.

"Okay, thank you again Steve" I stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek before turning and walking away.

I spent the rest of the day working and then at 9:00 I set out for my run. Lap after lap I ran until I finally I had gone around 12 times…when I made it back to the bench, I laid down and stared up at the starry sky.

Tomorrow is your chance Eden. You have to make him understand.

That night I slept a little better knowing that I would get to see him the next day. At 11:00 am sharp I met Steve by his car. He had a big grin on his face when I walked up.

"Hey Eden, I have good news!" he said, sweeping me up into a hug.

"What" I asked.

"My friend is running the prints for me, we should know something by tonight" he said.

"Thank God, that will prove to Bucky it wasn't HYDRA and we can put this mess behind us" I said with relief, opening the car door to slide in next to Steve.

I chatted with him as he drove us to the SHIELD building. When we arrived, he escorted me to the training room that Director Fury had established for Bucky and his trainees. Steve pointed a door that led to a workout area where Bucky was currently at, sparring with his 2 trainees. He hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear, "Good Luck"

I stared at the door for a few seconds before I walked through it. I closed the door quietly behind me…the room was dark except for a lighted area above the mats where Bucky now stood facing a pretty brown haired woman who I assumed was one of his students. Another person, a man, stood off to the side watching them spar. From my position I knew they couldn't really see me so I watched them. I could hear Bucky tell the girl to attack him. She circled him with a smile on her face.

I really don't like the way she is looking at him….shut it Eden!

She lunged for him and threw some blows, never even getting close to Bucky. I had never seen him really fight before but he was amazing. His reflexes were quick and he fought with such force. They moved around the mat quickly, ducking and dodging each other's blows. I moved closer to get a better look and accidently kicked a weight bench. Bucky heard and glanced in my direction but didn't get a chance to see me. The woman used the distraction to get the best of him. She swept his legs out from under him and was on top of him, straddling his waist, her arm frozen above his head, ready to punch. She smiled down at him and I heard him tell her, "Good job Christine" She moved to lower her arm and I saw Bucky roll her over on the mat and cover her body with his, his metal arm raised above his head to strike. "You have to stay on guard though…don't get too cocky just because you think you've won"

I couldn't silence the gasp that had already escaped my lips when I saw him on top of her. He glanced in the direction I was standing. I wasn't sure if he could see me but I had a sudden sick feeling in my stomach from seeing him so close to her. I backed up slowly, nearly tripping over a dumbbell. I rushed for the door and threw it open, turning around one last time to see him before I left. The sudden light from the hallway must have allowed him to see who it was fleeing from the room. I saw the look on his face and heard him call my name out.

I stumbled out into the hallway, letting the door close behind me and walked quickly back the way I had come from.

Why are you leaving you idiot? It wasn't like he was having sex with her…they were sparring. He was teaching her to fight. Stop running you fool.

I stopped and slumped against a wall, leaning over to put my head down between my legs, willing the nauseous feeling in my stomach to go away. It wasn't like I was going to throw up anyway; I hadn't eaten anything the last couple of days except that banana. I heard a door slam open and footsteps in the hallway making their way towards me. I didn't look up, I couldn't. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I knew it was him.

"Eden" he said quietly.

I painfully stood up and faced him…he stared at me, looking me up and down but not moving any closer towards me. "What happened to you?" he said, almost in a whisper, "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I've had a rough couple of days…I needed to see you."

I suddenly heard voices down the hallway, coming closer to us. He moved forward and grabbed me by the arm, leading me through a door a little further down the hallway. The room was dimly lit and I could see it was some sort of weapons area, there were guns and knives mounted on the walls.

He closed the door behind us and leaned up against it to face me…just staring at me. He was wearing black pants and a tight black shirt. His hair was pulled back to expose that beautiful jaw line.

"That was one of your trainees?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes" he said.

"She seems like a good fighter….and she's pretty" I said, lowering my head to stare at my hands.

He sighed, "Eden….what you saw….we were only sparring."

I nodded, not looking up at him...I couldn't help it. She was pretty and I was jealous….she had been allowed to see and touch him whereas I had been denied even a simple text message the last couple of days…it suddenly made me very angry.

"Right I get it…I completely understand. That must be why you've been too busy to return my text messages" I said angrily.

"Eden, you know why I didn't respond….I'm trying to protect you" he said moving forward.

"Well Steve got a friend of his to run the prints; we should know something by tonight?" I retorted.

He seemed to think about what I said before replying, "You shouldn't be here…you need to go"

"Did you hear what I said Bucky? This will all be resolved by tonight"

"Eden….even if the fingerprints come back as not being someone from HYDRA….I still don't know if….if we should go back to how it was" he finally said.

Oh God, he is tired of me.

He must have saw the look in my eyes because he shook his head at me and stepped closer, "Don't you dare think it's because I don't love you Eden because I do. These last two days have been hell for me. I've started having nightmares again, terrible ones…all about you getting hurt. I've been watching you the last few nights when you went running. Do you know how hard it was not to come over to you? You've been running yourself ragged each night and I've been dying inside watching you hurt yourself. I've almost texted you a hundred times…almost came to your apartment a hundred times. I've missed you. All I want is to keep you safe Eden. Dammit, I love you. " he finally stopped talking; his chest was heaving up and down.

I didn't respond….I just stared at him in shock. He seemed to be having some internal struggle. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again.

He stepped forward until he was right in front of me…I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, I just stood looking up into those blue eyes.

"Fuck it" he said, wrapping one arm around my waist as he leaned down. He kissed me like he might never be able to do it again. I threw my arms around his neck and clung to him. He moved his lips across mine and I let out a moan of pleasure.

Thank God. Oh how I missed this.

He pulled away breathless, "I love you" he said again before letting his lips crash back down on mine, moving expertly across my mouth. I felt his hands pick me up and set me down on the table against the wall. His lips left mine and he was staring down at me hungrily. I reached forward, letting my hands rub down his chest. I slipped one hand under his shirt, relishing the way his skin felt against the tips of my fingers. I let my fingers slide down to the button of his jeans, fumbling with it. He shivered with pleasure but stopped me, "Not here" he said hoarsely. I tried to smack his hand away but he chuckled, "Seriously Eden, not here" I tore my gaze away from his chest to look at his face. My heart soared when I saw that damn sexy smirk on his face.

"Tonight, I promise" he said, leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips, "Go home. I need to finish up here and then I'll come over"