The last few days away from Eden had been the worst days I had experienced since my time as the Winter Soldier. The day after I had that terrible nightmare was spent focusing entirely on my trainees in an attempt to keep my mind off how shitty I felt. Roland was an excellent student. On the second day, I realized he was actually listening to what I was telling him and making adjustments. When we got on the mat and started to fight, he would watch attentively as I showed him how to stand and how to move. By the end of that day, I already noticed a vast improvement in his technique. I knew with more practice, I could make him great.

I also realized on the second day that I may have misjudged Christine. She was almost too intense and fought too hard. When we would get on the mat, she would give me everything she had. I couldn't deny she was a good fighter; the problem was that she knew it and was cocky about it. That attitude led me to win each and every time. I constantly felt her eyes on me, watching every move I made…it kept me on edge and rubbed me the wrong way for some reason. I tried to ignore it because I was supposed to be her teacher and it was my job to make sure she was prepared.

When our time was up that day, Roland once again came up to me and shook my hand. Christine strolled up to me once he left and asked if I would mind spending a little one on one time with her. The sly smile on her face made me instantly uncomfortable…it reminded me of that terrible waitress from the restaurant.

Shit! I don't need this right now.

"I think you've had enough practice for today" I said as I grabbed my bag and zipped it up, trying to avoid eye contact with her.

"Well, then how about that lunch I mentioned yesterday? She asked.

I didn't want to give her any reason to think that I was interested in being anything more than her instructor. "No thank you Christine. I don't believe it is appropriate to socialize with my trainees. I'll see you tomorrow" I said curtly, throwing my bag over my shoulder to leave her standing there.

When I got back to Steve's apartment I sat on the couch and looked at the text message Eden had sent me while I was at work.

Eden: I miss you Bucky. Please don't do this. I love you.

I stared at that message for a long time, debating on whether I should send something back. I finally laid my phone down on the coffee table and turned on the TV, trying to distract myself. Steve came home a couple of hours later to find me still sitting there, not really watching the TV, just staring at it.

He sat down beside me and I heard him sigh, "Why don't you just call her Bucky?"

"You know I can't do that Steve. I'm doing this to protect her, it's for her own good" I said, closing my fist tightly.

"Bucky….you've been away from her one night and the nightmares have already started…don't you think…"

My fist connected hard with the table, "No Steve, just drop it!" I got off the couch, grabbed my phone and stormed out of the apartment. I crossed the street and made my way into the park. There was a young couple sitting on the bench where I had met Eden only a few weeks ago. I kept walking…passing the jogging path and going deeper into the park itself. I found a bench underneath a tree where I could see everything….people running along the path, kids playing on the playground, and even that bench where I had met Eden. I watched the couple who had occupied it get up and leave as the sun started going down and still I sat there.

I was surprised when I saw Eden walking across the street towards the park…I knew she couldn't see me so I sat there and watched her. She walked past our bench and stopped to stare a moment before she started running. My eyes never left her body, even when she ran out of view I sat there, waiting for her to make her way around the park and back into my sight. I could see that she was pushing herself hard, running lap after lap. After her 6th time around she finally stopped and took a seat on the bench. She sat there for a long time, staring into the night.

It felt like someone had kicked me in the gut when I saw her reach up to brush a single tear from her cheek. The more tears that fell, the more I felt like a complete asshole.

What are you doing Bucky? Go to her!

Even from a distance, I could tell she was shivering. It was cold outside and she was only wearing a thin t-shirt and no sweater. I thought back to the night I had taken my shirt off and given it to her to keep her warm. She sat on that bench, trembling from the cold but too damned stubborn to leave.

Why doesn't she leave? If she doesn't go inside this moment I'm going over there. Please get up Eden!

Part of me hoped she didn't move so I could have an excuse to get up and walk over there…the other part just wished she would get up and go home. I knew if I went to her, I would never be able to leave again. Walking away the first time had been hard enough; I would never make it a second time. She suddenly started looking around the park, like she was searching for someone. I observed her look down at her watch and then shake her head. She rose slowly from the bench, obviously in pain, and limped back across the street to her apartment building. I stayed there, watching her building from the park. Several minutes passed before a dim light appeared in her bedroom window, probably from her lamp. It was on for only a few minutes before the window went dark again. I jumped when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out to see the message.

Eden: I love you Bucky and miss you.

I glanced up at her darkened windows before shoving the phone back into my pocket to trudge my way back to Steve's apartment. I lay on the couch that night, unable to sleep. I kept picking up my phone to text her and then laying it back down, unable to press send. At one point, I go up off the couch and got completely dressed, determined to make my way over to her apartment and tell her I had been an idiot to leave. I made it all the way down the stairs before I stopped myself and turned back around.

The next day was just as bad as the previous one. During one of my session with Roland on the mat, I let my emotions get the best of me and I got into it too much. He kept blocking my punches and was doing a good job of it until I swept his feet out from under him, causing him to fall to the mat hard. I was on him in a second, fist raised above my head, ready to strike out at him. I realized what I was doing and took a deep breath before I lowered my fist and stood up. He laid there trying to catch his breath as I reached my hand out to help him up. I apologized and he nodded his acceptance but I knew I needed to calm down….we didn't spar the rest of the day. I showed him some techniques on fighting with knives while Christine did some target practice.

I went out to the park that night and sat in the same spot, waiting on her…needing to see her, even if it was only from a distance. After almost two hours of waiting, I started to rise from the hidden bench, disappointed that she hadn't shown. I sat back down quickly when I saw her dashing across the street. I looked down at my watch…it was 9:00, much too late for a woman to be out by herself running in the dark. I wanted to walk over there and ask her what the hell she was doing running so late at night. Didn't' she know what kind of monsters lurked in the night?

And here I am, lurking in the dark. A monster!

I just knew she was going to stop about her 6th lap, but she just kept going. Why was she pushing herself so hard? When she started her 10th lap, I made up my mind…if she tried to run around that damn park one more time I was going to stop her. I watched as she came back into view…she looked completely exhausted but seemed to be heading to the bench. She didn't make it before she collapsed on the ground. I waited a few moments before I stood up from the bench…seeing her on the ground was too much. Before I had taken one step, I saw her pull herself up and struggle to stand. She once again limped from the park and across the street to her building.

The light in her bedroom came home about 10 minutes later and stayed on for about an hour. I sat in the park on that bench until I finally saw her light go out and stay off. I pulled out my phone and stared at it…sure enough, a moment later the text message appeared.

Eden: I missed you a lot today. I wish you could understand how hard this is for me. I love you.

I do understand how hard this is…I'm feeling the same way.

I rose from the bench and made my way over to her apartment building. I had to see her…I had to hold her. Up the stairs I went and down the hall to her door….I raised my fist to knock but I couldn't do it. I stood there for several minutes trying to force myself but I just couldn't allow myself to do it.

When I got back to Steve's he was still up, sitting on the couch waiting for me, "Where have you been Bucky?" he asked when I sat down beside him.

"I was out walking" I answered.

He seemed to hesitate before finally asking, "Are you okay Buck? I mean really…please be honest with me. You are my best friend and I'm here to help you man"

I thought about it for a few moments…I had been a dick to Steve the last couple of days and he definitely did not deserve that. I didn't want to lie to him and tell him everything was fine because it wasn't…I wasn't okay.

"I miss her"

He nodded his head and put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't you think it's time to tell her that?"

I shook my head, "No, I can't"

He sighed deeply, "Good night Buck" and then rose from the couch to go to his bedroom. That night I had the same terrible dream as the first night….the blood from her throat pooled on the floor as I held her in my arms and watched her fade away. I woke up myself before the screaming started…I was glad Steve didn't have to come out to stop me this time.

I spent that day with my trainees doing strictly weapons training. We practiced with knives mostly….a weapon I was very comfortable with handling. I could tell Roland had left yesterday and practiced what I had shown him. Today, he looked more comfortable and when we pulled the targets out to throw knives, he did very well.

Christine quickly became frustrated with the knives…this was one thing she didn't have a natural talent for. As time passed and she didn't improve, she asked repeatedly if we could go to the mat and practice fighting. I finally let her and Roland have a shot at fighting each other. The cocky smile on her face was annoying and I could tell Roland felt the same way about it. Before he stepped onto the mat, I went over to him and whispered, "Watch her eyes, she always looks down before she lunges" He turned and smiled before he took his place on the mat.

The first time she tried the move on him he heeded my advice and dodged out of the way. The second time, he used her momentum to push her down on the mat. They went back and forth with each other…Roland held his own against a much more skilled fighter and when our time came to an end he made his way over to shake my hand.

"Very nice job today Roland" I said as he grasped my hand. He smiled up at me, "That you Sergeant Barnes"

I left the room before Christine could make her way over to me…I didn't have the patience today to listen to her ask me to go to lunch with her again.

That night I made my way to the park again around 8:00. It was until an hour later that Eden came out for her run. I noticed how run down she looked…from a distance I could tell her face looked thinner and her clothes hung loosely on her already thin body. I felt my jaw twitch each time she started a new lap…she looked ready to collapse each time she passed in my line of sight. After the 12th damn lap, she finally made her way to the bench and lay down, staring up at the sky. I wanted so bad to go over there and join her…feel her laying in my arms as we looked up at the stars together, but I was too chicken shit to move from that bench.

That night I had another dream…it started out just like the other one.

I was standing in that same cemetery and it was pouring. People dressed in black stood under umbrellas, weeping. I brushed passed each one as I made my way over to Steve. When I came up beside him he was staring down at the headstone. I finally forced myself to look at it.

In Loving Memory

Of

Eden Barnes

"Real love stories never have endings"

I looked up at Steve and shook my head, "Eden Barnes? Steve, how did this happen?" He stood there staring at me sadly. "Steve, tell me what happened!?" I yelled. He pointed behind me and I turned…the cemetery was gone again. Instead, I stood in Eden's living room. There she sat on the couch in a beautiful white dress with a sad expression on her face.

"Eden?" I whispered.

She didn't look up at me. I stepped closer and noticed the tears on her face…she was crying.

I was so close to her, almost within arm's reach when my body froze…I could move no closer.

She looked up at me, into my eyes and begged, "Please don't leave me…I can't live without you"

I felt myself being pushed backwards, further away from her. I tried to stop myself…tried to move closer but some unseen force was taking me away from her.

She reached out her hand, "Please Bucky, I need you"

I couldn't move, couldn't scream…I was just frozen. When I reached the hallway, the door slammed shut in front of me. I turned around and was suddenly standing in front of an open casket and Steve was standing next to me.

There was Eden…just as beautiful as she was moments earlier; lying inside with her eyes closed…she almost looked as if she was sleeping.

"What happened Steve? I don't understand" I said, turning to face him.

He shook his head sadly at me, "She died of a broken heart"

It wasn't screaming that woke me up…it was the feeling of wet tears sliding down my cheeks. I sat up quickly, wiping the tears from my face, trying to slow down the racing of my heart.

What the hell was that about? Eden Barnes? I like the sound of that….shit Bucky! What the hell are you going to do?

That morning I stepped into the training room with the dream still fresh on my mind. I instructed the two of them to do some target practice. I needed to get my head together. After a couple hours of shooting, Christine was getting antsy and kept asking if we could get down to some practice on the mat. I finally gave in and had them put their weapons away and join me on the mat.

Roland stood off to one side as me and Christine faced off. As usually, she fought hard…I watched her eyes and knew when she was about to lunge…the blows she attempted were easily blocked by me. I dodged each blow and threw a few punches myself to test her. She wasn't holding back so I didn't either. A sudden noise off to my left drew my attention away from Christine so I didn't see her attack. I felt her sweep my legs out from under me and I fell back onto the mat. I was surprised when I felt her straddling my lap and she was looking down at me with that sly grin, the same one that floozy waitress had given me.

"Good job Christine" I said brusquely.

I felt her grind her hips into mine. I'm sure she expected some kind of response from me but when nothing happened she started to lower her arm. I immediately flipped her over, covering her body with mine and raised my fist, "You have to stay on guard though…don't get too cocky just because you think you've won"

I saw the anger in her eyes…I hoped she got the message that I wasn't interested.

A sudden gasp drew my attention away from Christine. I looked over at the direction it had come from…I could see someone standing in the dark, not far from the door. They were backing up slowing and nearly fell over a dumbbell that was sitting next to the weight bench. Whoever it was rushed for the door and pulled it open. The light from the hallway illuminated Eden's face as she looked back to glance in my direction, a horrified expression on her face. I realized exactly what she saw…there I was laying on top of another woman.

"Eden" I called out. She ran out and the door closed behind her. I rolled off of Christine and stood up.

"The two of you practice with each other" I demanded as I headed to the door. Once I was in the hallway I headed in the direction of the exit, knowing that's where she was going. She hadn't gone far…when I walked up on her she was slumped over, her head between her knees. I was scared to go closer or even touch her but I forced myself to move towards her. I finally got up the courage to reach out and place my hand on her shoulder.

"Eden"

She stood up slowly and turned to me. Her face was pale and up this close I could see exactly how thin her face had gotten. She had to have lost at least 10 pounds, maybe more.

I was stunned, "What happened to you?"

All that damn running she was doing…pushing herself too hard too fast.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not waiting for an answer to my first question.

I saw her shrug her shoulders at me, "I've had a rough couple of days…I needed to see you" she responded weakly.

I heard people coming down the hallway…I didn't want them to see Eden, civilians were not supposed to be able to just walk right in…someone had to have escorted her inside the building.

Steve!

I took her by the arm and directed her into one of the weapons locker my trainees used. I flipped on only one of the light switches, leaving the room dimly lit before I closed the door.

I turned around and leaned against the door to stare at her. Even in her exhausted state, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I kept my hands behind my back to avoid reaching out for her.

She was the one who finally broke the silence, "That was one of your trainees?"

"Yes"

"She seems like a good fighter…and she's pretty?" she lowered her head to look at her hands.

Dammit, I can't believe she had to see that.

I sighed deeply, trying to find the words to explain myself, "Eden…what you saw…we were only sparring"

She didn't look up at me, just nodded her head…I could see her body tense up. I wasn't sure if she was upset or angry with me…she wouldn't raise her face so I could look into her eyes.

"Right I get it…I completely understand. That must be why you've been too busy to return my text messages.

Angry…definitely angry.

"Eden, you know why I didn't respond…I'm trying to protect you" I couldn't help it; I moved forward, the need to be closer to her was overwhelming. I was willing myself to step back but my body wasn't obeying.

"Well Steve got a friend of his to run the prints; we should know something by tonight" she shot back.

I had heard what she said…part of me was glad to hear the news. I would feel much better knowing who was responsible for her car accident. The other part of me didn't know if it was going to make a difference. The Winter Soldier was a danger to Eden too and he was standing in front of her right now.

You're not the Winter Soldier anymore! Eden makes you better you fool!

The Winter Soldier will always be here. She will always be in danger!

"You shouldn't be here…you need to go" I finally said, feeling the terrible ache in my heart when I spoke the words.

"Did you hear what I said Bucky? This will be resolved by tonight" she said slowly.

I struggled to get my next words out, "Eden…even if the fingerprints come back as not being someone from HYDRA…I still don't know if…if we should go back to how it was"

I saw the look in her eyes…it was the same look she had in my dream when she begged me not to leave her.

I moved closer to her, shaking my head so she could understand, "Don't you dare think it's because I don't love you Eden because I do. These last two days have been hell for me. I've started having nightmares again, terrible ones…all about you getting hurt. I've been watching you the last few nights when you went running. Do you know how hard it was not to come over to you? You've been running yourself ragged each night and I've been dying inside watching you hurt yourself. I've almost texted you a hundred times…almost came to your apartment a hundred times. I've missed you. All I want is to keep you safe Eden. Dammit, I love you."

Shit Bucky! You love her…why are you screwing things up with her? She said it herself, if someone is after her, who better to protect her then you. Can you live the rest of your life not being able to touch her or kiss her? Can you live with yourself knowing that you are causing her pain?

I opened my mouth to say something…I wasn't sure exactly what that was though. When no words came out, I closed my mouth again. Eden was starting up at me, shocked by my outburst. I stepped closer to her and looked into her beautiful eyes. It had been 4 days since I had been this close to her. All I wanted to do was pick her up and carry her home, straight to the bedroom.

When I caught the whiff of her shampoo, I came completely undone, "Fuck it"

I snaked my arm around her waist and leaned down, finally closing that distance between us. I had missed her so much the last few days and I kissed her desperately. The need got even greater when I felt her arms wrap around my neck. I moved my lips over hers until I was rewarded with a sweet moan that escaped her lips…the sound drove me wild.

I finally had to pull away to get some air, "I love you" I repeated before the need to kiss her overtook me again and I let my lips find hers once more. She had her body pressed against mine and I reached down to pick her up and sit her on the weapons table. I wanted to just look at her, to touch her face and look into those beautiful blue eyes of hers. I pulled away from her to take her in...I could see a spark in her eyes again, the need in them. She reached her hands out to slide them down my chest and I felt the familiar tightening in my jeans. When I felt her fingers on my bare skin, I nearly pushed her down on the table right then. Her fingers found the button of my jeans and her hands shook as she tried to unsnap them…the shiver of excitement rippled through me.

Whoa Bucky! You can't have sex with her in the weapons locker…anyone could walk in…and it's not exactly the most romantic thing. You have a lot of shit to make up for and you need to do this the right way.

I reached my hand out to stop her, "Not here"

I smirked when she smacked my hand away and reached for the button again.

Damn this woman is perfect!

"Seriously Eden, not here" I said laughing. Her face lit up when she looked up at me.

There's the Eden I know.

I leaned down to kiss her, "Tonight, I promise. Go home. I need to finish up here and then I'll come over"

She nodded her head and hopped off the table. I pulled her into a tight hug before I opened the door cautiously and looked out… I didn't see anyone in the hallway. Before we exited the room, I leaned down one more time to kiss her deeply, "I love you, you know that right?"

"Yes and I love you too" she replied, sliding her hand to my cheek and caressing my face with the tips of her fingers.

I led her out of the room and to an employee exit. As she walked away from the building, she waved to me once before heading to the street to find a taxi home.

I made my way back to the training room, noticing a little more pep in my step as I went. For the first time in 4 days, I felt like my old self again. Roland and Christine were still going at it and when I walked in I ordered them to stop. I spent the next two hours showing them some blocking moves…Roland did an excellent job and I felt proud of him and the improvement he had made over the week. Our time was finally up and I dismissed them for the day.

I walked over to Roland as he packed up his bag and stuck my hand out to him first. He smiled at me and shook my hand, "Thank you Roland" I said with a smile.

"For what Sergeant Barnes?" he asked.

"For being a good student…have a good weekend." I replied, nodding my head.

I turned to grab my own bag and pack up my stuff, eager to get to Eden's. I felt Christine's eyes on me before she even said a word, "About earlier….who was that?"

"She is none of your concern….let's get one thing straight here Christine, you are the student and I am your instructor…end of story" I said, looking into her eyes so she could see how serious I was at that moment.

She frowned and angrily nodded, "I understand…sir" I watched as she stomped off and grabbed her bag, flinging the door open and slamming it shut.

I turned off the lights and headed out to the street. I hailed a taxi and gave the driver Steve's address. Once he dropped me off and I paid the fare, I ran upstairs to drop off my bag and shower. Once I was in some clean clothes, I headed downstairs. I turned towards Eden's building but an idea popped into my head…instead of heading to her apartment, I turned the opposite direction and started walking. I had something I needed to get before I saw Eden again.

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Okay everybody, let me know what you think. I love to get feedback. I hope you guys are enjoying and as always, thanks for reading.

ECorley