Chapter FIFTY

It turned out that Varric's deceitful brother was back in town, or at least that was the rumour. His new estate was actually near Fenris's, which made Aria both uneasy and very angry. Fenris seemed to feel the same, if the deepening of his broody demeanor was anything by which to judge. Aria knew him well. He glared coldly at the hearth as Varric finished telling Aria of his recent adventures in acquiring this knowledge. The tale had taken the span of a few hours in the telling as Varric's ire and knack for storytelling put him in rare form, and Aria was exhausted still from the High Dragon fight, the damage she'd sustained had been quite substantial. She grew sorer by the minute.

Aria sighed. "So, you're saying you want to pay him a visit. Tonight."

Varric nodded. "Hawke, I just want to confront him. To...understand. The horror stories I've been told about what's been going on in that estate... Something is wrong. Even for that kin-betraying bastard."

"After what he did? There is no understanding. He deserves death. And he shall have it," Fenris snarled then.

"I'm inclined to agree," Varric deadpanned.

"Isn't that..slightly hypocritical?" Fenris asked darkly.

"Hey, your sister didn't leave you in the Deep Roads, with thousands of darkspawn. She was a victim, same as you," Varric defended.

Fenris "hmphed" but said nothing more, as the sound of a soft snore drew his attention abruptly. He turned to look at Aria, who had slumped down in her chair and her eyes were closed. His expression softened and he stood. He hauled her up into his arms and turned for the door.

Varric chuckled. "Ah, let her stay. She can crash here until we go see about Bartrand."

Fenris nodded and gently deposited her sleeping form on Varric's bed. He covered her with one of the quilts and returned to his seat at Varric's table.

"So, how'd it go at the Bone Pit?" Varric asked once Fenris had settled again.

Fenris growled. "She almost got herself killed. Again. And we..." He trailed off as he looked over at where she slept.

Varric chuckled. "She always has near misses. You've got to get over that."

Fenris rounded on Varric. "No. Not this time. It was worse than the fight with the Arishok," he venomously whispered, his limbs trembling.

Varric's eyes went wide. "What?"

Fenris recognized the storyteller gears beginning to whir behind Varric's eyes. "That damn...fool of a woman..."

Varric chuckled. "Aria is no fool."

"She jumped onto its head. Buried her dagger deep into its skull. Was thrown and tumbled down a heavily wooded, rocky slope for nearly 200 yards. We didn't see where she landed. We didn't even know she'd fallen until we managed to lift the dragon's head and she wasn't there."

"What happened?" Varric asked then, leaning forward in his chair.

Fenris stood abruptly and began pacing. "I started looking for her. We didn't know how far she'd fallen or even in which direction. It all happened so quickly. When I found her, many hours later, she was not far from death. Healing potions weren't working. Anders was not long behind me, thankfully. But what it took for him to heal her..."

Varric waited a moment before speaking, the elf still pacing before him, his eyes darting every few seconds towards Aria's sleeping form. "Anders was weakened?"

"Considerably," Fenris growled. "She might...be with child. To lose another..."

"Are you both daft?" Varric whispered intensely. "You're already trying again? Things are bad here!"

"There's never really going to be a right time," Fenris resignedly replied, his voice low and soft. "And to be honest, Varric... She needs this. Her family is gone, save for Bethany. Creating one could be exactly what she needs. She needs that connection."

Varric sighed. "I should have come with you."

"It wouldn't have made any difference," Fenris responded. He wearily sat back down and took the shot Varric proffered. "Thank you."

"What will you do when she is with child? This city has become stupidly dependent upon her. And you," Varric glibly stated, pouring them both another round of scotch.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Fenris hedged, downing the drink with a nod of gratitude. "Perhaps then I can convince her to leave Kirkwall. Maybe jailbreak Bethany and go back to her homeland. The King there is much more appreciative of mages than I would like, but... He offered to have Bethany transferred."

Varric laughed heartily at this. "Elf, I never thought I'd ever see the day when you helped a mage escape a Circle."

Fenris's mouth turned up wryly on one corner, his trademark sneer in place. "The things one does for... For..." He faltered. He'd told Aria he loved her. Many times. But never really admitted it to anyone else, save himself.

"You love her."

Fenris poured himself another shot and downed it, then stared up at the ceiling for a moment, the burn of the liquor igniting his belly. He slapped his hand on the table and his gaze whipped back to Varric. "Yes, I love her. Maker damn me."

Varric chuckled. "It's not a crime to love."

"She definitely puts the idea to the test," Fenris snarled.

"Hawke I understand as the family type. But you?"

Fenris took the next shot Varric poured him and quickly knocked it back. He quirked one brow as he regarded the dwarf with a look of mild amusement and consternation. "Why? You think I'm not father material?"

Varric guffawed at this and poured a tall glass of ale from the flagon on the table. He offered the glass to Fenris, then poured one for himself. "Honestly, the fact that you and Hawke seek to procreate... Well, let's just say your kids will scare the piss out of me," Varric good-naturedly replied. "And pretty much anyone."

Fenris chuckled at this and sipped from his glass. "They won't know this life."

"Here here," Varric proffered the rim of his glass, and they toasted.

"Mmm," Aria's voice sounded from the bed. She struggled to a sitting position and sleepily looked from one man to the other. "What are we toasting?"

Varric winked at Fenris and drained his glass. He swiped at his lip with his forearm before answering. "To your continued good health, madame!"

Aria giggled sleepily at this, and she winced. Her left side was very tender indeed. She motioned for Fenris to stay seated when he abruptly sat forward. "I'm fine."

"Do we have to do this tonight?" Fenris asked the dwarf.

"Yes. However, Hawke... You should sit this one out," Varric stated, assessing her condition with his eyes. "I can get Blondie and Red."

"I wouldn't miss the chance to tan Bartrand's hide for a million sovereigns!" Aria replied. "No. I'm not sitting this one out."

Fenris sighed heavily and took a long drink from his glass. When his gaze met Aria's again, he was shocked to see her quietly staring him down. Her expression was a mixture of emotions: anger, frustration, indecision, fear. "Your choice," he softly said after a moment of silent contemplation.

Aria eased herself forward so that she sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you really wish me to...sit this one out?" she asked as she gingerly got to her feet.

They locked gazes again and both fought the same battle behind their eyes. The nature of their relationship had always been equality. Neither sought control over the other. They were a team, a partnership. One did not have more sway than the other. Aria had broken Fenris's chains in more ways than one, and she'd set him free. Fenris gave her the solace she needed, the voice of reason to ignore should she choose, and the strength to endure their many, many plights.

Fenris abruptly stood, the stool clattering across the floor in his wake. He strode up to Aria and cupped her face in his hands, his eyes holding a feverish light, searching the depths of hers for an answer with which they both could live.

"I'm not your master," he whispered.

"No, but I am willingly beholden to you, nonetheless," Aria replied in the same hushed tone.

"It is your choice," Fenris replied, his hands sliding down her shoulders, down her forearms to take her hands. He brought them to rest on his chest.

Aria sighed and turned to look at Varric. "Call on Anders and Aveline to join you tonight. I shall retire to my estate."

Varric bowed, a slight smile quirking the side of his mouth. "Right away madame," he chuckled. He went downstairs to employ one of Corff's bus boys as a messenger.

Fenris and Aria walked down the steps in his wake, Fenris's arm snugly wrapped around Aria's waist. The few remaining patrons paid them little mind as they stepped out into the late evening air. The sun had set nearly two hours ago, but the stones still clung to the heat despite the coolness of the breeze. The guards in the square nodded in greeting as they passed, making their way for the Hightown steps.

They were silent, comfortably so, as they made their journey to Aria's door. The moon wasn't yet visible, but the sky was clear. The air had a chill to it uncharacteristic of Kirkwall nights, and bore the salty scent of the sea. Hightown always stayed a few degrees cooler than the lower parts of the city, and tonight this fact was even more apparent. It wasn't until they were standing in her estate foyer that they broke the silence.

"Thank you," Fenris whispered as he took the heavy cloak she wore around her shoulders. He hung it on one of the pegs.

"You needn't," Aria whispered, sitting on the bench by the coat pegs and starting to work on the laces of her boots.

He sat next to her, his fingers plucking at the laces of her shoulder armour. "Yes, I need to."

Aria sighed and leaned against the back of the bench, using the toe of her left foot to drag the heel of the boot off her right. "If I'm going to make this work, this whole... Family thing. I'm going to need to start now."

Fenris removed her shoulder armour and tossed it onto the bench beside them. He watched her kick off her other boot. "Yes. It just... It has to be as much your decision as it is mine."

Aria stood and snatched up her boots and her armour, motioning for him to follow her. They went up the stairs to her room. She finished removing the rest of her battle dress and laid it out for Sandal to clean in the morning. Aria then went to her closet and pulled out a nightdress. She made to turn back towards Fenris, but his hands on her bare waist and his lips on her neck stopped her.

"Tell me," he murmured against the sinew of her neck, his fingers tugging at the clasps that fastened her brassiere. "Is this your choice?"

She turned in his embrace, the brassiere falling to the floor. "Yes. This is my choice."

Fenris claimed her mouth with his, mindful of his spiked armour as he pulled her body against him. His fingers worked at her hair, letting it fall in platinum waves down her back. He gently ended the kiss to look down into her eyes. His hand flew to her cheek, where he caught a tear just as it fell from her eye.

"Why are you crying?" he huskily asked.

"I... I don't know," Aria whispered, a nervous laugh escaping in the wake of the words.

"You don't?" Fenris rasped softly, his knuckles grazing her cheek.

"I just... I feel so many things all at once and I can hardly sort them anymore," she quietly replied, her voice cracking. Anger flooded her features as she sought to regain control of her uncharacteristically errant emotions.

Fenris took the nightdress from her grasp and helped her don it, his hands taking the liberty of caressing her bare skin before it was covered. He lifted her and gently deposited her on her bed, his body hovering over hers. He sighed and kissed her, then looked down into her eyes once more.

"Do you think you're..." he asked, his hand sliding possessively over her lower belly.

"I could be," Aria languidly answered, her hand covering his.

"I'll be back before first light," Fenris said then, moving to stand by the side of the bed.

Aria gingerly rolled onto her left side to face him, her head propped up on her elbow. "You had better be."

He knelt on the bed and leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the lips, then whirled and strode for the door. He turned back and offered her the smile no one but she had ever seen. "Don't wait up. I'll be back before dawn."

Aria watched him close the door, then laid back and contemplated the ceiling as she listened to his footsteps fade down the stairs. When the front door closed, she closed her eyes. Everything in her screamed at her, demanding her to act. Get your ass out of this bed, get that armour on, and go fight with them.

She rolled onto her side, and winced. She didn't heal as quickly as she used to, even with Anders' help. Aria balefully regarded her armour and sighed. This was the hardest thing she had ever done. Let someone else fight her battle. Let someone else be in the thick of it. What if something happened? What if someone got hurt? Or killed?

Aria grunted as she sat up, and was just about to stand when Orana rapped on the door.

"Aria?" her soft, sweet voice sounded as she silently pushed the door open.

"Come in, Orana," Aria resignedly greeted her.

"Are you well? Fenris said to come check on you," Orana stated, striding in and picking up the armour. "Sandal slept all day and is working on his runes. He said he'd be happy to clean this for you now."

Aria sighed. "Yes, that's fine." My choice indeed. Well played, my love.

"Aria?" Orana asked as she turned in the doorway.

"Hmm?"

"I hope to find someone to love me as much as he does you."

The tears caught her off guard and Aria quickly turned away. Maker, what had gotten into her tonight? "Thank you, Orana."

"Would you like me to have a bath readied for you?"

"I would like that, yes," Aria softly replied. She looked up before Orana disappeared. "Orana?"

"Yes, Aria?"

"Thank you. And I hope you do find someone someday. Everyone needs someone."

"Thank you, mist—Aria. I'll get the water. Rest now," Orana sweetly replied, her own eyes misting. She disappeared behind the closing of the door and Aria couldn't hear her whisper quiet footsteps as she went downstairs.

Aria stood and walked over to the large picture windows that overlooked the gardens in the rear of her estate. She threw them open and looked outside. The moon was a thin crescent just disappearing behind the mountains. She turned towards Fenris's estate and listened intently. The night was quiet, save for the mournful cries of the gulls in the harbour, and the strange song of the loons in the bay. She could hear the distant breaking of the waves on the Wounded Coast, and out to sea, a bullhorn sang it's low, dulcet song, a late arriving shipment from the Coastlands.

It felt wrong to be here, in her night clothes, watching the moon go by while her comrades were undoubtedly engaged in a battle, no more than half a mile away. Who knew what would befall them? Aria started to pace, ignoring the protestation of her hip and her still-healing muscles.

"Your bath is nearly ready. Come away from there, it's too cold tonight," Orana kindly said from the open door of Aria's room. Three large caldrons sat among the coals in the hearth, their bottoms already glowing. Aria complied, closing and latching the windows before retreating to her desk.

"I feel so useless," Aria spat, kicking haplessly at a chip in her floor. She winced as the pain lanced through her toe.

Orana chuckled softly. "Idleness ill suits you."

"Indeed. I should be out there. With them. With him. What if some ill thing befalls him?"

"Aria you worry too much. They'll be fine," Orana gently chided. "You've trained them well. And Fenris is truly formidable. It will take quite a monster to bring that fellow down."

Aria wryly laughed at this. "Yes, yes it would. Not even a High Dragon could conquer him."

"A High Dragon?" Orana squeaked. "Maker!"

"It very nearly felled me, however," Aria relayed, absently rubbing her previously broken hip.

"No wonder he was so cross," Orana replied, walking back to the hearth and checking the temperature on the water. It was just beginning to bubble. She smiled and grabbed the heat pads hanging next to the fireplace, then proceeded to dump the steaming liquid into Aria's generously sized tub. When Aria moved to help her, the elf swatted her away.

"What do you mean by he was cross?" Aria asked once Orana had finished filling the tub.

The elf swiped at her brow and wiped her hand on her apron. "He wanted you taken care of well this evening and was more cross than usual."

Aria shook her head. "I'm not made of glass."

"He's very worried for you," Orana hedged.

"I may be with child, and since... Since... Well, he's going to continue being more protective," Aria groused. "Thank you, Orana. I'll call if I require anything else."

"I'll be just downstairs," Orana sweetly replied, then took her leave.

Aria opened the windows again and slipped into the bath once she'd disrobed. She listened intently to the still, silent night air and watched the moon. She washed her hair finally, and let her cream rinse soak into the long strands while she continued her vigil. The night was quiet, save for the creatures calling to each other. The occasional trollop's laugh filtered through from the Blooming Rose and Aria absently wondered if Gamlen was there tonight.

Aria shivered as she realized her water was cold, and she quickly finished bathing. She donned her nightdress and her robe, then padded silently downstairs. Her belly rumbled in its need for sustenance, so she quietly prowled the kitchen. She snatched up some of Orana's infamous banana chips, a still-warm chocolate chip muffin, and a small hunk of cheddar cheese. Then she poured herself a small chalice of her favourite wine and proceeded to her study.

There were numerous new books on the shelves, courtesy of Bodahn, and Aria snatched up the one with the most interesting title. "From the Darkness" it read, and she cracked it open to the first chapter. She was about twenty pages in when she realized it was an account of her very own Deep Roads expedition. She checked the cover and saw that it had been written by Varric. Oddly enough, it hadn't borne Varric's trademark novel style. It felt... Sadder, darker, and angrier than the glib dwarf's normal works.

She was just about to start reading again when she heard the front door open. Bodahn's voice greeted Fenris as he returned from the night's adventure. Her fingers brushed the plate, seeking a banana chip, but came back empty. Slightly miffed, Aria regarded the plate and her eyes widened when she realized she'd already eaten everything on it. She sighed, snatching it up as she stood.

"You're still awake?" Fenris teasingly asked as Bodahn took his chest armour from him.

"I was reading and lost track of time," Aria replied, depositing the plate on the small writing desk near the hearth. She walked over to Fenris and assessed him. Little to no damage marred what armour he hadn't yet taken off, and he bore no new wounds. Anders was a meticulous healer. "I trust no one came to harm?"

"Just Bartrand," Fenris darkly stated, cupping Aria's chin in one hand.

"Do tell," Aria said then, her eyes searching his.

"I'll let Varric do the telling when we meet him for Wicked Grace tomorrow night. For now..." he looked over at Bodahn, who was just leaving the room with the rest of Fenris's armour, "I just want to be upstairs in bed with you."

Aria giggled as he swept her into his arms and made for the stairs. "Oho, no! You're going to tell me what happened before you get any of this!"

Fenris buried his face against her neck as he carried her and breathed deeply. "The short version then."

"Haha! What's gotten into you?" Aria protested, squirming just enough to force him into holding her tighter.

"I'm fresh from victory and I want to lose myself in you," he rasped, nipping her shoulder as he set her down just outside her room.

Aria swatted him on the chest. "A battle in which I could have easily been involved with no severe consequences!" She made the remark only half in jest. She was legitimately angry. "You were having all sorts of fun, doing who knows what, and I was stuck here bathing and reading."

Fenris laughed at this and pushed her bedroom door open, then pulled her inside. He closed and locked the door before he engulfed her in his embrace again. Aria wrapped her arms around his neck and they looked deeply into each others' eyes.

"Bartrand fell prey to the magic of that idol he'd taken from the Deep Roads. The one you found made of the strange lyrium. It...addled his mind. He tortured his servants and somehow summoned all manner of shades and evil spirits from the Fade to protect him. Anders tried to heal him, but it was beyond anything the mage has ever seen. Aveline... Kindly put an end to him," Fenris said at last, smoothing the loose hair around her face.

"How did Varric take it?" Aria softly asked, sighing as Fenris slid her robe off her shoulders.

"I think Wicked Grace may be quite the affair tomorrow night, if he even bothers sobering up after tonight," was his husky reply. His lips sought her shoulder and he pulled her against him.

"You're going to be the death of me," Aria whispered, her fingers seeking anchor in the hair at the back of his head.

"Said the pot to the kettle," Fenris growled.