And the Clouds Parted

by FlowerOwl

To Midna, the world is a set of dichotomies, divided into the Twilight Realm, a world relegated to the shadows and history, and Hyrule, a world where the sun is reflected by the glint of weaponry. The world is divided into twos, but as the princess of Hyrule enters into her life, bringing the harsh sun along, the lines between them begin to blur.

19. Chapter 19

Zelda did not come to her cabin to eat dinner the next day the way they had used to do. Midna wanted to say that she had been prepared for that, had known that she might not be willing to be around her just yet so soon after Midna had told Cremia the truth, but it did not keep her from looking at her food and then over at the empty chair, pushing the plate away a bit. It would taste like ash, Midna knew that. Without Zelda, the cabin felt too large for her, empty and quiet. She was not sure how she had ever been able to stay in there during all the meals for so long. The food tasted of nothing at all, becoming dirt against her tongue each time she tried to convince herself that she was overthinking things, that this would and should be just like every other meal, just without Zelda sitting there next to her, adamant to keep the conversation going no matter how obvious Midna made the fact that she really was not all that interested in listening to Zelda talk about how much she liked being there, how nice everyone was.

Trying one last time to just push through it, to ignore the way her stomach was already hurting even at the prospect of just letting go of the weird feeling and accepting the food, Midna knew that she would not be able to finish the meal, not right now at least, not without Zelda.

She placed the fork and knife on the plate, hearing how the metal clattered, informing her that she had thrown it more than she had placed it. Great, just great. Wonderful, even. Here she was, having now not only blurted out the fact that Zelda had not exactly fled from the same fate as Cremia, she was now also unable to do something as simple as not taking her frustrations out on a plate. Amazing.

At least the hangar was almost empty as Midna sneaked her way outside, not wanting for anyone to see her as she tried to figure out where Zelda might be. The only ones there were a little group of children, and with how Midna could see Colin laugh at something Malo said, Beth soon interrupting them as she sprinted towards them, making them scatter, Midna doubted they would care about why she was there. So, as she hurried over towards the side of the room, Midna did not bother to try to hide from them. Most likely, they would not even care about her, even if they did see her. It was fine.

Quickly going through the most like places where Zelda might be, Midna tried to make herself calm down, making her breath become a bit more even. Instantly, the dining hall seemed like the most likely option, with how everyone else would be sure to go there, but as Midna thought about it, it did not appear all that likely anymore. Although she was not able to say how much of her reluctance to consider it was due to the fact that she did not want to head in that direction everyone else would still be there, chatting with one another as they ate their dinner, Midna knew that she would not find Zelda there. But then where was she supposed to look?

The answer was clear in her mind, but even then, it took her a few minutes of trying her best to keep herself from giving up and walking back to her cabin to make her legs begin to move, taking her over there.

She could hear the voices from the moment she turned around the corner, entering the part of the corridor that led to Cremia and Romani's rooms. But where she had thought—it sounded wrong to admit that she had hoped, even if Midna could feel how it would have been more honest—that she would hear anger and sadness, Zelda no doubt trying her best to explain just why she had decided to leave her life in the castle behind, the sound of people laughing was enough to make Midna freeze outside the door, having halfway reached out to press down the door handle.

What was she doing? Here she was, the reason that Zelda had left her in the first place, and now she was about to interrupt the two of them, trying her best to move back in, to claim the space in Zelda's life she had only really begun to miss the moment she had seen how Cremia might have replaced her. More than anything, Midna wished that she had the opportunity to let out a frustrated yell, to pour all the doubts and thoughts into a series of swears, but as it was, she barely dared to breathe, the idea of what might happen if they looked outside to see her standing there for some reason seeming even more mortifying to her in that moment than anything she had ever tried before.

So, intimately aware of just how cowardly she was acting, Midna pressed her ear against the door, trying to find the spot where the wood would be thinnest, providing her with the best opportunity to overhear their conversation.

"So you wanted to see what was really happening in your kingdom?" Cremia, Midna could tell both from the way her voice seemed to be almost meant to irritate her as much as possible, low and entirely too sweet, the exact opposite of how she had acted during the first weeks of knowing Zelda.

Almost like they had known whom she had been thinking about, Zelda spoke up, a little laugh introducing her words. "Yeah. I… I know that it is not an excuse, but life in Hyrule castle—it was quite sheltered. I only knew what my tutors told me—well, one of the captains, Ashei, she did also try her best to make sure that I would be able to know about what was going on in the kingdom, be even then, it was not enough for me to not get the feeling that there were so many things that I did not know about. So when I heard Midna tell me that the king was a tyrant, I don't know… I just knew that I would not be able to stay inside the castle anymore and ignore the fact that I knew that someone was lying to me."

"So you decided to sneak onto the ship?" Zelda must have nodded, for Cremia continued, her voice sounding too warm for the conversation. "Was it not frightening? I mean, you and I both know that there was no need to actually be afraid, but back then, before you got the chance to learn all of this, to see that you had no reasons to fear them, did you not fear that you might have made a mistake?"

Midna pushed against the door, stumbling back, until she hit the wall behind her. She could not continue to listen, not when they were about to talk about her, about the fact that, for the first weeks after Zelda had returned home with them, the way Midna had acted should have made anyone who did not possess the same kind of blindingly strong optimism as Zelda begin to question whether or not they had made the right decision, whether they had just made the biggest mistake of their lives by forcing a group of people who, for all they knew were indeed pirates, to bring them back to their base, knowing full well that once they were there, they would not be able to leave again. But, more than anything, Midna knew that she would not be able to listen to the conversation, to hear the warmth and friendship that had already bloomed between the two. She simply couldn't stay there and listen to Zelda finally have to give up the pure sense of wonder that had surrounded the idea of the rebels she had thought Midna and the rest of the people in the base would be, the thing that had seemed to blind her to reality. No matter how justified she knew it would be, how she knew that she should have known that, with how she had acted, it would only be a matter of time, Midna did not want to stay and listen.

So she didn't.

Making sure that she did not make a sound, did not alert Cremia and Zelda to the fact that she had overheard their conversation, Midna began to walk back towards the Shadow. She began sprinting the moment she was sure they would not be able to hear the echo of her footsteps.

"Uh, Midna, hello."

Ilia might have tried to hide her surprise at seeing Midna standing there, right outside her room, looking like she was about to sit down and cry, but she did not succeed, not at all. As Midna looked at her and saw the way her eyebrows rose, her mouth already trying to form the words to ask her just what she was doing there exactly, it could not have been more obvious that Ilia would rather have been left alone right in that moment.

Midna should probably have let her have that, refraining from making even more chaos, but right then, she did not care, instead staying silent until Ilia finally continued, stepping backwards to gesture towards her. "Do you want to come inside or something?"

The right thing to do would have been to say no and let Ilia have her privacy since that was obviously what she wanted, which was probably also the reason for why Midna stepped into the room immediately, all too quick to use Ilia's unwillingness to tell her to leave as an excuse to stay even when she was not welcome all because she did not want to be alone right then. It was not because she had not tried to, though, or at least that was what Midna tried to tell herself to lessen the feelings of guilt as she walked in to see that Link was sitting on the floor, sending her a smile, almost saying Ilia's name, before he realised how Midna was indeed not his girlfriend, but rather just his friend who had not wanted to be alone. Each time she had tried to lie down in her bed, hoping that she could get a moment to rest and not having to think about what had happened by falling asleep, her mind had brought her back to the moment when she had felt how the words almost spilt from her lips, a fact that had now brought her here.

To his credit, Link was better than Ilia at pretending that he was not at all disappointed to find that Midna was about to interrupt their moment, though that did not mean much either. Pushing himself up from the floor, Link sent a not that subtle look around Midna, clearly trying to figure out if Ilia knew the reason for why she was there, before pulling Midna into a hug, only pausing for a moment to make sure that he would not accidentally disrupt the bandage that Uli had replaced the very same morning, saying something about how they had to keep the wound clean.

She wanted to remain strong, to say that the hug did not make her feel better. After all, it was so silly; she was better than that, she would be just fine on her own, she did not need someone to hold her. Maybe it was just because she was tired, maybe it was because the hug and the fact that Link had had to be careful not to touch the bandage had reminded her of the fact that Zelda had not sought her out to offer to change cloth the way Midna knew she would have done only a few days before, or at least that was what Midna hoped was the case, but in that moment, as Link, rather than asking any questions, rather than making her explain what she had done to push Zelda away, just stroked her hair and waited until she moved to let go of her, she could feel the tears sting in her eyes.

"Are you all right?" Link looked up at her, his eyes wide, and in that moment, Midna knew that if she said no, both he and Ilia would be ready to let go of the moment they had just shared to be at her side in an instant, ready to try their best to help her.

That knowledge should have made her stop, should have kept her from sharing what had happened with them and ruining the evening for them even more than she already had, but, no matter how much she tried not to cry, Midna could feel how the tears pressed against her willpower, the latter soon giving way, allowing the tears to stream down her face as she tried to explain what had happened.

Both Link and Ilia stayed quiet until she finally got to how she had really allowed herself to think that Zelda would have any reason for wanting to see her ever again, how she had gone to find her, only to overhear the conversation. No matter how much Midna tried to search for an answer to the question of just what they would say on their faces, she could not figure out what they were thinking, if they were judging her as well, if they would draw back the moment she stopped talking as well.

"I just…" Midna said, struggling to find the right words. There were so many, and yet, the more she sought, the more she began to feel like she would never find the correct answer, "I know that I should not care, but I do. I mean, we were never friends, but—"

"Wait, you weren't friends?" Ilia tilted her head to the side, looking first over at Link and then back at Midna. "Because, to me, it feels like you were, or at least that you wanted for the two of you to be friends."

Midna opened her mouth, ready to remind Ilia of the fact that, no matter what, she had little reason to care about whether or not Zelda would consider the two of them friends. Then she closed it again. It simply was not possible for her to stand there and try to argue that she did not care about what Zelda thought about her, not when she had just sobbed at the thought of how she might possibly have made it so that any chance of there even being a friendship between them would have been irrevocably destroyed.

Link must have been able to tell or, if nothing else, then guess the reason for why she did not answer, for, despite how he clearly tried to hide it, Midna saw how he reached out towards Ilia, taking her hand to signal to her to give him a moment to speak. "Midna," he said, "I am sure that things are going to be all right."

"No, it won't." she wanted to believe him, Midna really did, but right then, she could not even begin to imagine gathering up the strength that would be necessary to convince herself that that was the truth. Besides, it was not like she deserved that, the comfort of being able to believe that she had not just pushed Zelda away for good.

But Link continued, seemingly unaffected by her pessimism. "I am sure that it will. Besides, you didn't stay to listen to what Zelda told Cremia, did you?"

She hadn't, and although Midna tried her best to keep it from happening, she felt the hope fluttering in her chest. He was right, she had left too early to be able to say for certain that Zelda had continued to tell Cremia how she had realised the truth about her, had finally stopped trying to lie to herself and instead seen Midna for who she really was, someone who had been able to leave everything, all her responsibilities and her past, behind the moment she began to fear for her own life.

"I suppose you might be right about that," Midna said, not knowing why it was so difficult to admit it. However, that soon changed, as the sight of both Link and Ilia sending each other a knowing look, almost like they had figured out something that she had yet to see, reminded her of just why it had not been a good idea to go see them, so she made sure to continue, "but that does not change the fact that now that Cremia is here, I doubt Zelda will want to spend time with me anymore."

Ilia cocked her head. "How do you know that?"

"She didn't show up to eat dinner with me, and I instead found her with Cremia. Is that not enough proof for you that she is happy that she does not have to deal with me anymore?"

This time, it was Link who shook his head, questioning her conclusions. "Midna, please don't take this the wrong way, but have you ever considered the fact that Zelda might be happy to be able to talk with someone whom she can relate to?"

Link might have told her not to take it the wrong way, but that did not stop Midna from doing just that. Feeling how her shoulders rose, she shot him a hurt look, halfway expecting for him to sigh and roll his eyes at her or instantly saying that he had not meant it like that. When he did neither of those things, Midna tried her best to control her voice, although she could tell that she was fighting a battle she would not be able to win the next moment. "What do you mean?"

"Well…" Link said, clearly trying his best to delay the moment when he would have to answer, "it's just that… other than Zelda, there really wasn't anyone here who had not been living here for years already before Grog, Cremia and Romani arrived. So, at least to me, it would seem completely predictable that Zelda would want to spend time with her."

"But we used to eat together," Midna reminded him, her voice sounding just a bit too much like a whine for her to be comfortable with it. After all, when all was said and done, she had no reasons to care about what Zelda was doing or whom she was eating dinner with, nor was it her place to begin to feel like she had any right to her time, especially with what had happened.

"Yeah, well, I am sure that you will find that, in just a few days, you will do that again."

At that, Midna looked up at Link, almost unable to believe that he had not listened to a word of what she had been saying. "Link, did you not hear me? I just said that I told Cremia about how Zelda was the princess—or, well, I might not have been the one to actually say it, but I did create a situation where Zelda had no other choice than to tell her. Do you really think she will come back after that?"

Link shrugged. "I don't know. All I am saying is that she has forgiven you for worse things than that before, so I don't see why she might not also forgive you for this one."

It was not exactly the comforting thought Midna had wanted, the idea that Zelda might just be bad at knowing when to give up on people, but although it by all means should have made her feel even worse, she could feel the despair evaporate as she let the words sink in. Maybe Link really did know what to say after all.

"I think that Link is right," Ilia offered, making Link send her a wry smile.

"Well, then we know that I am right." he laughed as Ilia punched him on the shoulder, though he soon became serious again, looking over at Midna almost like he was just trying to figure out if giving her another hug would make things better or worse. He must have settled for the latter being the case, for, rather than reaching out towards her, he nodded at her as he added. "But, Midna, I think it would be a good idea for you to try to help Cremia for a bit."

"Why?" but even as she said it, Midna knew what he would say, knew that he would be right.

At least Link did not have to brag about it, did not have to make it obvious that she knew that she was being petty if she refused, instead simply making a nonchalant gesture. "I just think that after having fled from her home, coming to live with people she has never met before and trying to get used to life out here, it would probably be good for her to be able to ask the person who saved her for help. It might make everything a little easier for her and her sister."

He was right. Of course he was. But even then, Midna would only have to think about the way her stomach was still hurting at the thought of having to go back to Zelda and Cremia to tell them how she was sorry, to, for what felt like the hundredth time, admit that she had not acted the way she should have, she knew that she wouldn't be able to do it right then. It would simply have to wait for another day.

"I will do it tomorrow," Midna said. As Link only sent her a tiny grin, Ilia looking at her with a look in her eyes that Midna did not know what to make of, she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince them or if it was perhaps herself the words had been meant for. But at least she had said them. Hopefully, the fact that both Link and Ilia had heard it would be enough to force her to actually do it, to seek out Cremia and try to talk with her.

Midna had tried to delay the moment where she would have no other choice but to seek out Cremia, she really had. But, despite how she could make an endless list of the things she would rather have done than trying to go talk with her to find out what she was thinking about everything, if she really might have sat down to listen to Zelda confess that she had been blind, had been willing to ignore the fact that her stomach had told her to leave, to not spend time with Midna, she found that she was not able to stop thinking about what the answers to her questions might be. Even just that night, it took hours for her to finally relax enough to fall asleep, continuing to toss and turn, hoping that she could trick her body into thinking that she was tired, ceasing the thoughts that whirled through her mind every second. By the time the sun began to peek in through the porthole, Midna's head was aching, reminding her of how she could barely have got more than a few hours of sleep. Maybe that was the reason for why she gave up, the fact that now that she was as far from fully rested as she could possibly be, she did not have the energy to fight the urge to head out to visit Cremia.

No matter the reason, fact was that she did not even pause to eat breakfast, instead letting her feet take her in the direction of where Cremia and Romani had chosen to live, their rooms being located just a few metres away from Grog's. Midna really was not sure how they had come to know each other, if they were related or perhaps close friends, nor did she care. All that mattered as she dragged her feet over the stone floor that morning, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes despite knowing that it was hopeless, was the fact that they had at least chosen to live quite far away from the rest of the base. Should the worst thing happen, should Zelda be there and decide that it was time to return all the times Midna had yelled at her, at least everyone else would not be there to listen to it.

She knocked on the door once, then twice, before stepping back, waiting. If only Cremia and Romani would have left to go to the dining hall, then she might not have to do it just now, she could wait for another day.

As the seconds passed, time almost feeling like it had slowed down around her, the only sign that it had not stopped existing completely being the fact that Midna could hear the sound of her own heartbeat reflected in the rush of blood that echoed in her ears, she could feel how the tightness in her chest eased a little. Perhaps they would not be there. After all, Midna knew that she had not exactly woken up early. With a little bit of luck, they might have had time to leave their rooms, making it to the dining hall without her having got the chance to run into them on her way to their rooms.

Evidently, Midna had used up all her luck a long time ago, for she had barely thought it through, before the door squeaked on its hinges and Cremia stood in front of her, looking up at her with the surprise almost painted onto her face.

However, that was not the first thing Midna noticed as she looked down at her. No, with how her heart almost felt like it should have stopped, all the air being forced out of her lungs in a single, inaudible, gasp, she knew that she was not merely imagining things, as tempting as it would have been to allow herself to believe that, to not have to ponder just what it meant. Where Cremia had worn what, to Midna at least, had seemed like a fairly common set of clothes for someone living on a ranch only the day before, boots, blouse, and a skirt with mud stains on almost every single part of the fabric, a fact she imagined might have been a little less obvious before she had had to hide from the guards by sitting underneath a tree, pressed against the dirty wall and floor of the cave, she was now wearing a dress that was awfully familiar to Midna. The blue fabric, the intricate embroidery, the way the lace lined the hems, it all made it so that, even if Midna had not been able to recall exactly how the very same dressed had looked after Zelda had stood up after having just tried to hide in a chest, a rumpled mess of silk, she would still have been able to tell that it had belonged to a princess once.

"Midna."

She almost did not hear Cremia, but, just before she would have been able to embarrass herself even more, managing to catch herself from saying something stupid at the last moment, Midna looked back up, with what she hoped was a neutral expression.

She must have been able to plaster on a somewhat convincing smile. That, or either Cremia was just bad at reading facial expressions, for she continued like Midna had not just recognised the dress she was wearing as being Zelda's, smiling up at her as she spoke. "It is good to see you! I was actually just wondering where you had been yesterday. Romani talked about you a lot." she nodded towards the room behind her, and as Midna finally forced herself to tear her gaze away from the dress, she could see how the little girl was now sitting at the rickety table towards the back of the room.

In proper lighting and when she was sitting still rather than clinging to her sister, Midna could see that she might have underestimated her age a little, for the look Romani sent her was not exactly that of a child who had just had to abandon her home to come live with a bunch of people she should have known as pirates. Suddenly, the idea of her having decided to defend the ranch by shooting arrows after the king's soldiers did not seem so unlikely anymore and, although Midna tried to resist thinking any good thoughts about Cremia, she had to admit that she could respect her sister. Staying to defend her home, it truly was a heroic action. If Midna had done the same thing, perhaps things would have been different now.

It did not seem that Cremia had noticed how she was not paying attention, for she continued, Midna only vaguely aware of what she was saying. "To tell the truth, I think that she admires you quite a lot." Cremia leant in, almost like it was a great secret, smiling at Midna.

It was clear that she was waiting for her to smile, to create some kind of shared joke between them. But although Midna could still hear what Link and Ilia had advised her to do, she would rather turn around now and leave the room immediately than begin to let Cremia think that they were friends, so she simply kept up the polite smile, tilting her head just a bit to let Cremia know that the lack of a reaction was not due to her not having heard her.

At last, Cremia seemed to get the message, blushing a bit, as she cleared her throat. "Well, no matter what, it is an honour to get the chance to talk with you. I—I really meant what I told you back in the infirmary, you know. If you had not been there, I would have lost everything—my sister, the ranch, Grog… everything that has ever meant something to me."

She wanted to remain cold, wanted to be able to stay angry, but as she saw Cremia's eyes turn shiny, Midna could almost physically feel how the anger melted away. What was she doing? Here she was, standing in front of a girl who had just had to give up her old life, all because the king had decided that she had done something to deserve losing everything. Casting a glance at where Romani had turned in her chair, looking over at them with wide eyes, Midna could feel the smile disappear, making way for the tears as well. Before she had even realised what had happened, she had reached out, pulling Cremia in for a hug.

"I am sorry," Midna whispered, hoping that Cremia freezing was only due to the surprise and not a sign that she had just messed up again, "I… I can't imagine what it must have been like."

Cremia remained silent, only moving as Midna let go of her. But then, she did also look up at her, an almost disbelieving look in her eyes as she spoke. "You can't?"

There was something in her tone of voice, something Midna could not quite name, that sent a shiver down her back. She could not know—no one except for Link could possibly have known. But as Midna remembered the maid, the way a single glance at her had seemingly been enough for her to make the connection, she could not completely dismiss the idea that her secret might not be as secret as she had wanted for it to be. Still, there was a chance that Cremia might have been trying to refer to something else entirely, and if that was the case, Midna would not let her know how she had been closer to the truth than she felt comfortable with just yet. So, hoping and praying to any goddess who might listen to her, hoping that Ilia had been right, Midna tried her best to look confused as she answered. "What do you meant? I have lived out here for most of my life and before that, I lived on the streets of Hateno."

Rather than responding, Cremia simply sent her a long look, a crease growing between her eyebrows. Fighting to look like every last muscle in her body was not readying itself, making it so that she would be able to run away at a moment's notice, fleeing from both Cremia and the truth, Midna stood still, hoping that Cremia would give up if she did not receive any proof that she might be right.

And, finally, that was what happened, Cremia shrugging slightly, doubt combined with suspicion apparent in every single line on her face. "I don't know. I suppose… I suppose you just reminded me of something I read a long time ago, I suppose."

"Well, I am also an infamous pirate," Midna said, trying to laugh, though it sounded more like her struggling to breathe as she continued, "so you might have seen a drawing of me one of the times the king sent out his soldiers to inform people in the villages to look out for me and my crew." but Cremia still did not look convinced. She had to try something else. Although she knew that she would not be able to not make it sound natural, right then, Midna decided that trying to change the subject would probably be her best option, so she gestured towards nothing in particular, hoping that Cremia would interpret it to her advantage. "Speaking of which, how come you changed your mind about coming back with me? I mean, I know that I look better in person than I do when the king pays someone to draw me, but still… what made you decide that you could trust us?"

"It wasn't like I had any other choice," Cremia said. The look Midna sent her must have been enough to let her know that it was not exactly enough to explain why she had only changed her mind upon seeing Midna, for she added, "also, you mentioned Romani, and… I knew that, no matter what might await me if I went with you, it would be better than staying and waiting for the king to find us. No matter what I might have told him to try to convince him that my sister had never meant to harm anyone, I knew that it would never be enough."

"Well, what would you have told him?" Midna leant to the side, placing a hand against the edge of the doorway to keep herself upright.

With a little smile that seemed completely devoid of any real sense of humour, Cremia gave a little toss of the head in the direction of where Romani had gone back to look down at the table. "Would you believe me if I told you that Romani had run into the house after shooting arrows after the king's soldiers, telling me that she had seen aliens come down from the sky, trying to take the cows away from us?"

Midna did not have to think about what her answer to that question would be. "No," she said, "no, I would never have believed that. If she had said that she had seen pirates, then yes, I would have believed her, or at least I think it would have been more convincing. But aliens? No, never."

"Exactly." Cremia nodded. "That was what I thought. And when I found out that she had really attacked some of the king's soldiers, and that was when I knew that we had to leave. Although," she leant closer towards Midna, dropping her voice until it was barely more than a whisper, and despite how she had not planned to stay for so long, Midna found herself leaning in as well, suddenly unable to imagine not being able to catch each and every word of what she was saying, "I must admit that even if the king had not tried to seize our ranch and Romani had never attacked the soldiers, I doubt I would have been able to stay there for much longer. You see, I had heard rumours about a group of rebels existing somewhere just across the old border, on the other side of the mountains."

And just like that, Midna could almost feel how every bit of sympathy for Cremia disappeared in an instant. So she was simply yet another person who would try to convince her to risk her life, to risk the lives of everyone in the mountain, all to at least be able to spend their last few seconds knowing that they had given their lives for what some might consider a noble cause, even if everyone could see that they had died for nothing.

But, somehow, Midna found the strength to keep herself from lashing out the way she would once have done, instead doing her best to look like she did not understand what Cremia was talking about. "I am not sure I follow. You do know that we are not some kind of secret organisation of rebels, right? We are in no way planning to go against the king. All we hope to do out here is to stay alive."

"Oh, I understand that completely." Midna could see how Cremia was trying her best to take back everything she had said.

For some reason, that only made her even more annoyed. If Cremia wanted to talk about rebellion, then the least she could do would be to show enough courage to not abandon the idea the moment Midna expressed disdain for the thought of them being rebels. Zelda had been insufferable with how she had continued to believe her to be some kind of hero, seemingly able to ignore the fact that Midna had told her time and time again that thinking that she was anything more than just a selfish person trying her best to stay alive no matter the cost would only end with her being disappointed, but at least she had shown enough courage to not abandon her idealistic optimism the minute Midna had told her that she might has well be living in her own fantasy world with how she honestly believed that they might be able to change anything.

Zelda. Midna felt almost like she might throw up as she remembered the way she had acted the last time she had seen her, for a moment having been transported back to a point in time where she had been able to talk to her.

Cremia did not give her the chance to think about it for long, something Midna did not know what to think of. As nice as it was to not have to force herself not to cry, not to show weakness in front of Cremia, the moment Cremia began to speak again, Midna found herself wishing that she was standing in front of Zelda rather than Cremia, willing to give almost anything in the world to get the chance to apologise.

But, for now at least, she was standing here, and so, Midna fought to pay attention, even if her thoughts were several metres away, flying around the base as she tried to figure out where Zelda might be right in that second.

Bringing her hands up into a placating gesture, Cremia was evidently making every attempt at smoothing over the harsh tone between them. "I was not trying to say that you were some kind of secret rebel organisation. Trust me, I would never try to take all of this away from you, not when you have saved both my sister and myself. I was just… I simply meant that I had heard rumours while going to Clock Town that not everyone would simply allow the king to decide what to do, to continue to send soldiers out to catch everyone who might have done something he did not like."

Forcing herself to let go of the thought of how she had to go find Zelda, how she had to figure out what she might possibly say to her, how she could ever begin to apologise for what she had done, Midna redirected her attention towards the conversation at hand. Zelda would have to wait, despite how the guilt made her stomach ache at the thought. For now, she had to figure out how she could bring an end to the security threat that people talking about the existence of a secret base on the other side of the mountains might become in the future. So, trying her best to send a smile to Cremia, hoping that she might be able to get the truth if she only pretended to not be about to either burst into tears or running away, she forced herself to seem calm. "And who told you that?"

"I don't know." thankfully, Cremia continued before Midna got the chance to completely lose her composure at the idea of Cremia honestly not knowing where she had heard such a rumour. "It was just… I don't know—it was just rumours. No one knew how it had started. I just know that some of the servants for the wealthier families would sometimes organise secret meetings and that Grog once overheard some of it while walking home after having tried to sell some of the cuccos in Clock Town. They seemed to believe that the queen of the Twilight Realm had not been killed during the coup d'état, that the very idea of such a thing having happened was just a lie Ganondorf had made up to give himself an excuse to seize power, and… I must admit that I didn't believe it, seeing as it felt a little too much like wishful thinking, but then, once I knew that the soldiers might try to take my sister, I knew that I had no other choice than to risk everything. If there was even the tiniest chance that they might be right, if there were people out there who would oppose Ganondorf, then I would not be able to stay there and just wait for them to come."

"But there isn't." Midna wasn't sure if she was trying too much, if she was making her fear even more obvious, but she continued nonetheless, unable to stop herself. "I get that you might think that we are some kinds of rebels, that Zelda—" her throat felt like the words had cut her, bringing up the memory of how she had been unable to keep back the words, but she did not let it stop her, "that she might have told you something like that, but we really are not in any way trying to save people. The fact that we went out to get you and your sister was simply due to the fact that I made a promise to Grog."

"Yes." Cremia sent her a long glance. "I suppose that must be the truth. I am sorry, it was just that, for a moment, I must have mistaken you for someone else."

"Well, I do have one of those faces."

"You must have," Cremia agreed, "but, listen, Midna, I don't know what you think Zelda has told me, but I assure you that she has not said anything to me about you being a rebel."

"She hasn't?" by all means, Midna should have felt relieved, but the only thing she could think about was that she had hoped that Zelda might have. Even if Midna was not and would never become the kind of person Zelda wanted her to be, if Zelda thought that opposing the king was the right thing to do, then Midna would not complain about Zelda believing that she might one day do just that.

"No." Cremia shook her head. "In fact, she told me specifically not to think of you as a rebel. Apparently, she thought that you wouldn't like it if I did. But she did still tell me that you were the reason that she had not been sent home the moment she had been found aboard the Shadow."

"I—uh…" she could not finish the sentence, instead letting the sound trail off. If what Cremia was saying was true, if that was really what Zelda had told her, then that might mean that Link had been right about how Midna had left the corridor too early to be able to know for certain what Zelda's answer had been.

Thankfully, she did not have to say anything, as Cremia simply sent her a little smile, looking almost like she knew something that Midna didn't as she nodded. "Yes. From what I could tell, she seems to think that you are brave for having stood up for her even though you should have wanted to send her home immediately rather than taking the risk of keeping a princess here."

Was that really what Zelda had thought? No matter how much Midna tried to twist the fact, tried to recall the first few weeks differently, all she could remember was how she had barely been able to not lash out at Zelda, letting herself take out her anger on her, constantly turning around to remind her that she was not welcome. Granted, she had argued for letting her stay, but that had been due to the fact that, with how Zelda had already seen the base, it would not be safe to send her back to Hyrule Castle. Had that not been the case, Midna would not have thought twice about having to break the promise she had made to allow her to stay, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself.

Searching for anything she might be able to use to change the subject, Midna caught onto the end of the sentence, looking over at Cremia, hoping that she would not be able to tell just what she was trying to do. "Uh, I, about what I said in the infirmary, I—"

But Cremia interrupted her before she got the chance to finish the sentence. "No, I get it. You had just woken up and you were confused. I will not lie and say that I would not have wanted to learn about it in a way that was little less… abrupt, but I suppose that it was nice to know almost immediately. Still, I am not the one you really want to apologise to, am I?"

Midna could not keep back the hint of a smile. "No, I suppose you aren't."

"Well," Cremia gripped her hand, giving it a little squeeze, "I must tell you that I am grateful for how you came here to talk with me. Even if you insist that you are not trying to save anyone, I have to admit that you have saved both myself, Romani, and Grog, and for that, I will never be able to thank you enough."

"But that is not what I am doing here, I am just trying to survive," Midna insisted. Seeing how Cremia just smiled at her, almost like she knew better, should have angered her, made her lash out once more, but no matter how much Midna tried to muster up the feelings to do so, to make sure that Cremia knew that, had it not been for a hasty promise to Grog, she would have been perfectly content just staying in the base and let Cremia and Romani try to defend themselves, she could not bring herself to do so. Still, she would have to make sure that they knew that she was not the great saviour they had expected her to be, the long-lost princess the maid had tried to paint her as with her little emblem and the way she had talked about there being plenty of people believing that she might one day return to claim her rightful place as the heir to the Twili throne in a hushed whisper, so, even as Cremia clearly thought the conversation to be over, Midna still did not let go of her hand, instead taking a step towards her, hoping that it would give her words more weight as she continued, "really, Cremia, I am not this hero you might believe that I am. Zelda thought that I was, and I understand if she has managed to convince you as well—she has a way to do that within only a couple of seconds—but I need you to know that that is not the case."

For a moment, she almost thought that Cremia would protest, stubbornly refusing to admit the truth just like Zelda had done, but then she nodded. "All right. If you say so, then I will try my best not to think of all of this as some kind of secret rebel base, even if Romani still thinks that you are some kind of secret bringer of justice."

At the mention of her name, Romani looked up, casting a glance in their direction.

Stumbling backwards, Midna tried her best not to think about the fact that she could almost see the same kind of foolish hope that the adults knew what they were doing that had been enough to make her wait in a forest for months, waiting for the servants to return even as she ran out of food, reflected in her eyes.

"Great, I just needed to make sure that you knew that," she mumbled at Cremia, before turning around and leaving, only barely able to keep herself from running until she turned around the corner. Once she knew that Cremia would no longer be able to see her, she began to sprint.

She found Ilia and Link back in the hangar, having returned to work on Epona, though that soon came to an end as she sat down next to them.

Before Midna had even got the chance to say anything, Link had already all but thrown the piece of metal he had been about to hand Ilia to the side in order to quickly move over to sit next to her. "So? Did you talk with her?"

"If you mean Zelda, then the answer is no." to Midna's surprise, neither Link nor Ilia looked all that surprised at that, but she tried her best not to dwell on it. So far, it would appear that her thinking about things had yet to actually make her decisions any better. "But if you are referring to Cremia, then yes, I just spoke with her."

"I told you so," Ilia whispered to Link, though she did not keep her voice low enough for Midna not to hear it.

Even if that had not been the case, with how Link sent her a look, quite clearly telling her to be quiet, it would have been next to impossible for Midna not to know that they were talking about her, especially with how Link immediately tried to smile at her, the expression coming across as only halfway fake as he gestured towards her. "Well," he prompted, "what did she say to you? And what did you tell her?"

"Not much." picking up one of the drawings, Midna tried to pretend to know what any of the scribbles on it meant, giving herself a few extra seconds to consider her words. "Mostly, she just talked a lot about how she was so grateful that we had come to get her, how she would not have known what to do if I had not shown up in that moment."

"And yet, you sound angry," Ilia observed.

She should have been able to stay calm, to remind herself that she was about to make the exact same kind of mistake that had made her push everyone away. But as Midna looked over at Ilia and saw how she looked at her like she might truly still not understand exactly why it was so dangerous for people to look at them and think that they were some kind of group dedicated to bringing justice to the land, why she had been careful not to let anyone know just how she had managed to get one of the ships from the fleet of the royal family of the Twilight Realm, she felt the anger rise up in her chest.

"Ilia…" Link whispered, clearly seeing the disaster that was about to unfold right in front of him, "let us just—"

Midna interrupted him before he got the chance to finish the sentence. "No, let her finish. Go on, Ilia tell me how irrational I am for being angry about the fact that ever since Zelda arrived, everyone here seems to refuse to just accept the fact that I want to stay here, instead thinking that I might be some kind of hero who just needs a little push to accept the fact that it is my responsibility to free everyone. Go on, tell me that I should just accept the fact that, apparently, everyone around me has just decided that I am the type of person to stand up for the weak and defenceless even though I am trying to tell you that the only people I care about are the ones within this base." she was rambling, Midna knew it. She could hear how her voice shook, her breath becoming uneven, but she could not stop herself, not when she had finally begun to put everything into words, allowing the pressure of knowing that any moment could be the second where Zelda would finally wake up and see that she had been too optimistic about who Midna was to escape her. "Please, continue. Obviously, everything I want is for someone to continue to tell me that I am a good person despite the fact that all evidence seems to suggest otherwise!"

The silence that replaced the sound of her voice felt even heavier than the burden. Almost like a switch had been flipped, the anger soon became guilt, rising up from her stomach as Midna saw how Ilia only looked at her, the chock evident on her face as she tried to find something to say, the sadness and sympathy she could almost feel seeping into the air as Link reach out to put an arm around her shoulders cutting into her.

"I—" Ilia began, and although she would have sworn that it would not have been possible, Midna felt her heart drop as she saw how she had to reach up to wipe away the tears, "I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just thought that—" she never finished the sentence, instead pushing herself off the ground, sending Link a short nod, "I have to go for a moment, please excuse me." and with that, she turned around and began to walk towards the corridor leading to her room, clearly doing her best not to run.

"Wait." Link tightened his grip around Midna's shoulder as she tried to stand up, knowing that she had to go after her. "You will not be able to talk with her right now. I will talk with her later."

"But I have to—"

"No. There is nothing you can do right now. I promise you that it will be all right soon, but right now, trying to talk with her is only going to make things worse." Link was clearly trying his best to sound convincing, but even then, Midna could almost feel how he struggled to believe his own words. Still, it did not change the fact that believing him, allowing herself to think that she could just sit there and let Link take care of her mistakes, seemed awfully convenient right then, especially as Link continued. "She—I mean, of course she was hurt by what you said, but I actually think that the biggest reason for why she left like that is that she has been worried about you for some time now—we both have."

Immediately, any sense of relief that might have followed Link's promise to try to talk with Ilia was shattered, leaving Midna unable to do anything other than looking up at him, trying her best not to cry. She had already overreacted with Zelda and Ilia. If she did the same with Link now, if she pushed away the first person she had allowed herself to become close with after having been left alone in the forest, she was not sure what she could do other than giving up completely. So, even though the same vicious voice that had followed her into her nightmares tried to make her insist that she had to talk with Ilia immediately, Midna forced herself to sit still, to trust Link's judgement.

"Worried?" she echoed. "About me?"

"Yes, I mean, with how you have acted lately, I can't see how we could have been able not to." when Midna remained silent, Link moved closer to her, Epona and the fact that they had left part of the engine on the floor seemingly forgotten. "Midna, you need to—I don't know—be kinder to yourself."

"Kind to myself? Really? That is what you believe after everything that has just happened?" Midna wanted to laugh, but she was too scared that the only sound she would be able to make would be a sob, and decided against it, instead keeping her mouth shut.

If she had hoped that Link would finally wake up after that, she would have been disappointed. She supposed it should be a good thing that she had never really expected for him to ever begin to realise when he was fighting a losing battle, but as he patted her shoulder, clearly thinking that he was helping, the fact that he was still so incredibly kind even after she had made Ilia run away only made her feel even worse.

"Yes, it is. Midna, I know you. You didn't act this way for the first few years after I met you."

"So? People change." the words had barely left her mouth before Midna realised that they had been the wrong thing to say, Link instantly beaming at her, like she had just proved his point.

"Exactly. People change. You could do so as well, become the person who was able to share her food with a stranger once more. And do you know what?"

Midna had an idea about what he would say, but she still shook her head. It did not feel right to say it.

However, that only made Link's smile a bit wider, almost like he was trying to make up for the fact that she refused to let him help her. "I think you want to be a bit more like her as well."

"No, I don't," Midna whispered, but she could hear how uncertain she sounded as her voice began to shake.

"I believe you do. If not, then you would not have gone out to save Cremia and Romani, you would just have told Grog that it was not your problem and then told him to leave. You could just have been happy that the maid decided to help you rather than continuing to think about whether or not she suffered any consequences for it. But even before that, you would have told Zelda to leave, sent her back home to Hyrule Castle."

"I had to allow her to stay once she had first seen the base. If not, then I would have risked the safety of everyone in here."

"Perhaps." Link paused for a moment, giving her just enough time to know that he did not believe that at all. "But do you know what I think?" he did not wait for her answer, instead continuing. "I think that you want not to care. I think that you want to be able to say that you don't care about anything so badly that you are trying to make yourself believe that that is the truth. After all, you found Zelda before we had even reached the base. You could easily have left her in some village, but you decided to listen to her wishes and bring her back home to the base even though you must have known that once she was there, no one would be able to argue that she had to leave, seeing as she would then know the location of our home."

He was waiting for her answer. Midna could tell that he was waiting for her to admit that he was right, for her to agree that he had been right about it all. But although she could not deny the fact that she would easily have been able to send Zelda back to the guards by simply not allowing her to catch a glimpse of their surroundings, by keeping her in the storeroom while figuring out what to do, the idea that she might have made the decision to bring her up to the cabin without telling anyone, knowing that the moment Zelda would be able to look at the landscape below, not even to mention the second she would see the base hidden in the mountain, they would have to let her stay, it was all too much for her to try to accept.

Shoving Link's hand off her shoulder, she stood up, her legs shaking beneath her. "I—I have to think about it," she said, hoping that she was not crying despite how her voice was trembling so much that the words were barely audible.

"Of course. I will go talk with Ilia then. But, Midna," Link said, reaching out to take her hand, keeping her from leaving just yet, "please, just try to admit the truth to yourself. And talk with Zelda. I promise you that things are not as bad as you might think they are."

With a shaky smile, trying her best to pretend that it was anywhere close to the real thing, Midna sent him a nod. "I… I will try."

"And—and this is not me trying to tell you that rebellion is a good idea—but, Midna, I know that you think that it would never work, but there are people here who believe that it might be the only way to achieve any kind of freedom. They are not trying to make you feel bad, just making an attempt at clinging to what little hope they can still find."

It took what little strength she had left to push back the wave of annoyance. Why did it always have to come to this, why did every conversation always have to be about the fact that she refused to stand by and watch as everyone around her got themselves killed? But as Midna forced herself to look past the fact that rebellion was a sure way for everyone to ensure that they would die soon, she had to admit that, if she could pretend, even for a minute, that they would stand a chance, she might have been just as quick as Zelda was to believe that it would honestly be as simple as them standing up, openly telling Ganondorf that they would never accept him as their king and that the rest of the kingdoms would then rise to stand with them.

"I will try," she promised, hoping that it would be enough.

And that seemed to be the case, or at least Link only bowed his head. "That is all I could have asked of you. Now, I will have to go talk with Ilia, so—"

Before he had time to finish the sentence, Midna had already pulled him in for an embrace. "Thank you," she mumbled, for once not fighting to keep back the tears, "for everything."

She could not have been more grateful for how Link did not reply, did not try to tell her that it was nothing, instead simply hugging her back.

But despite how Midna would have done anything for the moment to never have to end, of course Link moved back much too soon, sending her a little smile.

"I am happy to see the old Midna," he said, his voice so low that she was not quite sure if she had heard correctly.

Before Midna got the chance to ask, Link had already turned around and headed away, walking in the same direction as where Ilia had gone, leaving Midna alone with her thoughts.