The night passed by in a blur of nightmares, each of them only lasting for what felt like a few seconds before she would find herself in another scenario. The base, left behind, only the splatters of blood on the walls telling them that there had ever been anyone there at all. Her friends trying to figure out what had happened, hoping that they had succeeded, but already knowing that it was not the case. Fire devouring everything, moving forwards along the border to consume every last centimetre of the Twilight Realm. Her mother telling her that she had failed her, that she would make it so that her sacrifice had been for nothing if she took the risk and placed herself in danger by revealing her identity. Zelda telling her that she had changed her mind and would return home now. Zelda, crying, unable to move as soldiers surrounded them. Something going wrong, a bullet that had been meant for her, Zelda lying on the ground, red pooling around them, the warm feeling of blood coating her fingers as Midna tried her best to make Zelda stay with her. Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, the name repeated in her nightmares. Each time Midna had thought that she had just made it out of the worst nightmare she could possibly have thought of, she would only find herself trapped in an even more horrifying scenario.
It should perhaps not have been a surprise to her that she woke up to find her head aching, every little part of her begging for her to please just lie down again, to just continue to sleep. But she couldn't. Midna knew that much. No matter how daunting the task in front of her was, she could not turn around now. It was too late for her to change her mind. But, as she tried to pinpoint the exact moment when things had changed, when she had made the decision, moving forwards in such a way that she had effectively brought an end to any possibility of going back again, Midna could not help but feel like it had been a decision that she had made a long time ago, weeks before she had finally agreed to argue for Zelda's plan.
Zelda. She would love to hear about that, Midna already knew that, knew exactly how Zelda would look when she would smile up at her, lines appearing around her eyes as she laughed.
And now, Midna would drag her back home, back to the castle she had fought so hard to leave. It was even colder in the cabin than usual as Midna remembered what Zelda had told her. A marriage, she had been on that ship because she had been meant to marry Ralph, the prince on Labrynna. Once Midna returned to tell the tale of how she had saved the princess of Hyrule from the pirates, surely Ganondorf would not immediately order Zelda to travel to Labrynna, wanting the wedding to happen as quickly as possible? She wanted to think that it would not be the case, but when she had to be honest with herself, Midna was almost certain that, if he thought it would help him, if he decided that it would be necessary to allow him to stay in power, he would do it without hesitating for even a moment. But that was exactly why they would have to do it and then just hope that they would get the chance to bring an end to his reign before it would happen.
But even the thought that Zelda had agreed to do it, that she had been the person to first come up with the plan, that she must be the one of them with the best chances of knowing whether or not they would be able to succeed, was still not able to make Midna feel better about the fact that, if anything went wrong, she might have to spend her last moments knowing that she had doomed Zelda to a fate that, while no doubt better than having to stay in Hyrule Castle for the rest of her life, was still one that had made her sneak onto a pirate ship just to try to escape it.
"Midna?" someone knocked on the door, twice, the second time being a little bit more forceful than the first. "Midna, are you awake?"
"Yes, just give me a moment!"
In the pale light of the rising sun, Zelda looked almost like the perfect princess Midna had seen back when they had first met. Granted, they had not been able to salvage her dress, even though Midna could see that Cremia had been careful with it, and in the end, someone—Midna being almost certain that the someone was Uli—must have reminded everyone about the story they would try to tell the guards to explain their miraculous escape, for, rather than the blue gown, Zelda was wearing a tunic, looking almost like she was about to head out to look for ships to attack rather than the princess who would return to bring the rebels into the castle and give Midna the chance to kill the king and crown prince.
It was a relief when she had finally said goodbye to everyone. It felt almost wrong to even think it, simply waiting for Uli to let go of her, trying to come up with something to tell her as she hugged Midna so tightly that, for a moment, it felt almost like she would refuse to let go of her again, but that was, nevertheless, what Midna thought as the crowd began to gather the moment she and Zelda left the ship, every single person in the base having seemingly decided that they would have to come out into the hangar to say goodbye.
It was not that she did not understand them. Midna did. This, the crowd, the goodbyes, the tears, most of it probably was not really for her, but rather because she and Zelda would now have to try to make it to Hyrule Castle, everyone's life suddenly being risked for a chance of them finally being free to leave the mountain. But that did not make it any less awkward as Jaggle came over to her, the redness in his eyes letting her know that he had cried as he pulled her into an embrace that, considering just how little positive interaction she could remember having ever shared with him, was just a little too personal for her. Still, it was not for her, it was not even something she did for Zelda. She stood there, letting everyone say goodbye, because that was what they would need. And if it was what it would take to make sure that she would not leave Colin, Uli, Beth, everyone behind, all of them waiting for someone who would never show up, then Midna would do it without complaining, though that did not mean that it was not a relief when Uli finally cut through, reminding everyone that they had to leave now if they wanted to be able to reach the Eldin Mountains before the sun would set.
And, finally, they were on their way to Clock Town.
She was not sure for how long they walked, only aware of the fact that they were even walking at all because she could look back and see how the mountain behind the grew smaller and smaller the higher the sun was in the sky. The snow was squeaking beneath her booths, and more than once, Midna had to reach out to help Zelda not to fall as she accidentally stepped on a thin layer of ice, but it did still not do much to change the fact that the Eldin Mountains looked just as small against the horizon as the sun began to crawl back down towards the mountain behind them as it had done when they had first started walking.
They walked in silence. Midna was not sure exactly why they did that—no one had looked at the others and suggested that it might be better that way, not out loud at least—but, for the first couple of hours, it had been a nice change after the months inside the mountain, to just be able to walk and walk without having to think of an answer to the questions she might otherwise have been asked. But, as they continued through the forest, careful not to trip over the branches, even the fact that it made it so that she could listen to the wolves howling in the distance was not really enough to distract Midna from the fact that, should anything happen, she would have preferred not to have spent her last hours of freedom walking quietly next to Zelda, only casting the occasional glance over at her when she was sure that Zelda would not notice it. But given how Zelda did not in any way indicate that she would be the first to say something, Midna stayed silent as well. It was easier that way, less complicated, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself.
Below her feet, the cover of snow grew thinner, the dirt beneath slowly changing, becoming small stones instead. At first, it was enough to almost make her trip and fall as Midna forgot to watch her step, only the sound of the pebbles moving beneath her telling her that she was about to slip. But even as she had to jump away, moving quickly to avoid falling, it was impossible for her to be annoyed. They had made it through the forest. At last, they had reached the point Cremia had said would be the halfway point between the base and Clock Town when travelling on foot.
"So, I was thinking that we might want to set up the tent over there," Cremia said, bringing an end to the silence between them.
After hours of silence, it felt almost strange to listen to Cremia speak, to look at her as she pointed towards a little plateau to their right, the side of the mountain hopefully being able to provide them with a bit of cover from the wind.
"Sure." Zelda nodded, already in the process of pushing the straps of the bag off her shoulders, placing it on the ground with a soft thud. "If you two," she motioned towards Cremia and Midna, "would please help me, then I am sure we should be able to get at least a few hours of sleep."
That was how Midna found herself sitting with a piece of rope, trying to figure out how she was supposed to follow the instructions Cremia had given her. To her annoyance, it became clear within only a few moments that this was nothing like the lines on a ship. The sails had made sense, she had known how to react to the situations that had arisen on the ship, but now, as she tried to tie a knot, everything felt unfamiliar to her.
She was in the middle of trying to undo what little she had achieved, having transformed the piece of rope into one big knot when she heard someone walk over to her.
"You look like you might need some help."
Midna had not even noticed how Zelda had come over to join her, but as she sat down next to her, already reaching out towards the rope in her hands, she could not have been more grateful for how she had just saved her from the embarrassment of having to admit that she really had no idea about what she was doing.
Shooting her a smile that she hoped looked sincere, not giving away the fact that, no matter how airy Midna had been able to act back at the base about the fact that, very soon, it would be too late to turn back, she was terrified every time she thought about what would happen the next day, Midna handed the rope over to her with a little smile. "Yeah, I would say so as well."
For a moment, she was silent, simply watching as Zelda took a moment to assess the damage she had done, before quickly pulling at the knot, making it fall apart, allowing for her to start over.
"Zelda?" Midna mumbled. As the sun began to disappear, casting long shadows over the forest as it disappeared behind the mountain, she had never felt more tired. Not even the attempts at reminding herself that it was winter, that the sun would set a lot earlier than if they had done the same thing during summer, was enough for her to keep the yawn out of her voice, enough to ignore the fact that, in that moment, the thing she wanted to do the most was to place her head on Zelda's shoulder and close her eyes for a minute, just a minute, just enough to give herself the chance to rest.
"Yes?"
Midna could see how Zelda's hand stopped moving, but even though she wanted to look up at her, wanted to see if she might be smiling at her, she could not make herself move, not as she had to use all her strength to supress a yawn as she continued. "Do you—" despite the way she had fought to keep it from happening, a yawn made its way over her lips, "do you think… that we might have a chance? I mean, I know that we have to believe that we will if we want to ever be able to succeed, but…" Midna shook her head, coming just a little bit closer to Zelda in the process, "I know that I should be grateful for this opportunity, but I just can't help but think about what might happen once it is over. I mean, can we be certain that the Hyrulean soldiers are not going to try to avenge their king even after he is dead?"
Zelda did not answer immediately, something Midna could not have been more grateful for. It would have been so easy for her to just look at her and tell her that she was worrying about nothing, but now, it seemed that she was really considering the question.
Finally, Zelda let out a sign, the rope, now complete with the knot Cremia had shown them how to tie, falling to the ground as she slung an arm around Midna, pulling her closer towards her. "I don't know. I hope that they won't, but I will not be able to promise you anything. Still, there is one thing I know for certain—I will do my very best to keep it from happening. The moment my father and brother are dead, I will be the queen, and then I will do my absolute best to ensure that you will not be harmed in any way."
"Hmm." she wanted to ask Zelda to promise her that she would be able to do just that, but bit her lip to keep the words from leaving her mouth. It would not have been right to ask that much of Zelda, not when Midna knew that she would not be able to keep such a promise.
Around her, the sky soon became dark, the last orange glow of the sun slowly dying. It was cold, colder than anything Midna could remember having ever experienced before, but she was not naïve enough to hope that they would be able to light a fire. Flames out here, with how they had left the forest and what little cover the trees might otherwise have been able to provide, would be like telling Ganondorf's soldiers their location, yelling at them to come and catch them. So Midna sat still, trying her best not to focus on the fact that her teeth were clattering, instead leaning a little closer to Zelda as her head grew heavier, soon leaving Midna with no other choice than to lean against Zelda's shoulder. It was so late; she just had to rest for a moment.
She was not sure how long she had slept for. All Midna knew when she opened her eyes was that they had moved her, for, rather than waking up to find herself sitting next to Zelda, the wind brushing around them, barely stopped by the mountain that still seemed to reach up towards the sky, she was staring directly up into the grey fabric of the tent. Shoving the thick blanket off her, instantly regretting it as she was reminded of exactly how cold she had been before, Midna began to move over towards the opening of the tent, following the sound of hushed voices.
They were sitting out there. With the bag placed between them, making it look almost like a poor way to substitute the idea of actual fire, Zelda, Cremia, and Romani were all out there, sitting on the ground as they ate the dinner Uli had had placed in their bags before they had left the base the same morning. Or at least Midna assumed it was the same morning. To be honest, she really was not sure about how long she had been sleeping for, only that her right arm was feeling strangely numb as she made her way over to them.
Zelda was the first to spot her, turning around with a bright smile that still was not enough to really hide how the day of walking had taken a toll on her as well. "Midna!" moving over to the side, widening the circle a little, Zelda made space for Midna to sit down between her and Cremia. Reaching into the rucksack, digging around for something for a moment, Zelda soon handed her a piece of bread. "Here. We didn't want to wake you up, but I hope that it was all right that we began without you."
"Yeah, it is fine," Midna mumbled. She had barely even shoved the first piece of bread into her mouth before her stomach began to rumble, reminding her of the fact that they had not stopped to eat lunch, too afraid that the minutes they would waste doing that would be the minutes that would make the difference between reaching Clock Town and being caught on the way over there. Quickly tearing off another bite, Midna was content to just sit there and listen to the others as Cremia began to talk about her ranch.
From the way she was talking about it, the dreamy look in her eyes, Midna would dare to make the guess that Cremia was not only talking to keep the silence from growing heavy between them. It felt too personal for that to be the case, Cremia reminiscing about how her parents had decided to name Romani after the ranch with a smile.
It was in that moment, just as Cremia had tried to laugh and poke her younger sister in the side, that Romani began to cry. One moment, she was sitting with her loaf of bread, leaning up against Zelda, and the next, tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"Romani?" placing her own dinner on the ground, Cremia was at her sister's side in a second, already putting an arm around her shoulders as she tried to comfort her. "What is wrong?"
Getting Romani to actually tell them the answer to that question took several tries, but at last, Midna was somewhat certain that the reason she had begun to cry was almost completely the same reasons that had made them decide to head out for Clock Town in the first place.
"She doesn't want for you to be caught!" Romani shook her head, moving away from Cremia, refusing her attempts at trying to assure her that there was nothing to be afraid of. "She doesn't! She wants her ranch back! I want to go home!" the last word echoed around them, but even as Midna was somewhat aware of the fact that she had just heard Romani refer to herself in the first person for the first time in all the time she had known her, none of that really felt important in that moment, not as Cremia was trying to shush her, the desperate look in her eyes telling Midna that she was thinking about the same thing as she was, the fact that they could not risk letting anyone hear them.
"Romani," Cremia tried to plead with her, "I know that. I know that you want to go home, and we might be able to do that very soon. We just have to get these two to Clock Town. Then everything will be fine, I promise you."
But Romani must have been able to tell that Cremia really was not in any position where she would be able to make such a promise, for she simply continued to shake her head. "No! I have dreamt about this—it is all going to end here, they will take the ranch, they…" Romani's voice continued to rise, soon making it almost impossible for Midna to understand what she was saying, only that she was panicking.
"Romani?" Zelda moved, sending Cremia a little glance, almost like she was trying to apologise in advance, as she was able to make Romani fall silent with just that one word. "Romani, I am so sorry, but I have to ask you to calm down for a moment. You see, I have to tell you a story, but I will not be able to begin before I know that you are able to hear what I will tell you."
What was Zelda doing? Midna sent her a glance, hoping that it would be enough to let Zelda know what she wanted to ask her about, but, if she even noticed it at all, Zelda ignored her. Maybe that was for the best, for despite the way that not even Cremia had been able to make Romani calm down, right then, Romani looked up at Zelda, wiping the tears away, the panic giving way for a puzzled expression.
"What do you mean? What story?"
Zelda simply smiled at her. "That is what I wanted to tell you. I just have to make sure that you would be able to hear me, and I didn't think that you would have a chance of doing that while you were crying. But do you think you can do it now?"
"Yes!"
"Good. Now, this is a story that my governess used to tell me when I was a little girl, barely older than you. It is about a very special girl who lived in a kingdom where the sun had disappeared many years ago…"
It was obvious what she was doing. Within moments, Romani had stopped crying completely, her breathing becoming more even as she glanced up at Zelda, looking like the only thing that mattered to her in that moment was the story that she was telling her. And, despite the fact that Midna was almost completely certain that Zelda was making up the fairy tale as she went along, the similarities between the story and their situation being a little too many in numbers for it to have been a coincidence, she could not say that she was any better, not as she continued to look over at Zelda, finding herself just as captured by the way Zelda continued to make the facial expressions of the people in the story. As she made her eyes wide, an exaggerated attempt at looking surprised, Romani even smiled, a little giggle escaping her. It did not take long before she began to slump forwards, Cremia sending Zelda a little smile that said everything she needed to say as she lifted her little sister up, carrying her into the tent.
It was not until she was gone that Midna realised that it meant that she was now completely alone with Zelda. Above them, the stars twinkled against the dark canvas of the night, making her feel smaller than ever before, almost like it did not matter what would happen next. The stars had been there before her; should she disappear tomorrow, they would continue to be there. Still, Midna would do her very best to make sure that, before long, she and Zelda would be able to watch the stars like this without having to fear that the king would find them.
Zelda must have been able to tell what she was thinking about, or at least it felt like that should have been the case as she looked back over at her, quickly moving over to sit next to her, sending her a little smile as she tilted her head to the side. "What are you thinking about?" Zelda whispered the words, trying to follow her line of sight, the two of them sitting in silence next to each other for a moment, the silence only interrupted by the faint sound of Cremia trying her best to pull the blanket up around Romani.
"Not much," Midna answered, "just the fact that, tomorrow, I might be able to know whether or not I will be able to sit out here again. I mean, I know that I should be able to stay hopeful, I know that it does not exactly help that I doubt our ability to fulfil this mission, but I just can't help it."
"No, I understand completely." and, despite the fact that Midna would have loved to think that that was not the case, not really, that she would have loved to assume that Zelda was merely pretending to know what she was talking about, doing her best to make her feel better about the fact that there was nothing she would be able to do, should anything go wrong, Midna knew that it was true. She knew that, as Zelda leant against her, leaving o space between them, she was not doing it because she felt obligated to do so, nor was any kind of guilt the reason for why she added. "Midna… I know that this might not be the moment to tell you this, but I… even though this might be the last night I will spend out here, where I can be free, I am happy that I am here with you now. Even if I could change anything about this, I would not have done so."
"Oh." her voice sounded strangely emotional, Midna struggling to get the words out while still making sure that they were comprehensible. Why did it feel like she was seconds away from bursting into tears? Why was she suddenly filled with the urge to wake up Cremia and tell her that she had changed her mind, that she would be willing to leave everyone to fend for themselves if it meant that she would not have to somehow come to terms with the fact that, no matter what would happen next, she would never be able to share a moment like this with Zelda again.
For that was the truth, a fact she had tried her best not to think about. Even if they were victorious, even if Midna was able to kill the king and crown prince, making Zelda the queen, she knew that things would never be the same between them. Not only would Zelda have to handle the chaos that would no doubt follow such a regime change, have to fight to free the Twilight Realm, if Midna really went through with her plan of revealing herself to the world, she would have to face the new reality she would then find herself in. They would never just be able to be Zelda and Midna again; from the moment they would step forward to claim their part, they would forever be the queen of Hyrule, the rightful and just sovereign, and the long-lost princess of the Twilight Realm who had now returned to right the wrong that had been committed all those years ago.
But, even as the thought made tears sting in her eyes, Midna refused to show it. Zelda deserved better than seeing her so weak, and so, Midna simply blinked the tears away, making sure that she had her voice under control as she looked back over at Zelda. "I—" her careful planning had all been for nothing as her voice broke, Midna already knowing that she was not able to disguise it as a cough, though it did not keep her from attempting to do just that, "I feel the same way."
After that, Zelda was quiet, leaning back to look up at the stars. Midna would have loved to continue the conversation, getting a chance to tell Zelda all of the things she had felt the need to keep inside for all those months and weeks, but each time she could feel how the words bubbled up in her chest, ready to spill from her lips, at once dangerous and alluring, she would look over at Zelda. She looked at peace as she sat there, the distant light of the stars reflected in her eyes, and although Midna could not help but wonder if that was how spirits might look, beautiful and otherworldly, she knew that Zelda really was sitting right there with her, as real as Midna herself.
She could not bring herself to bring an end to the stolen moment of joy, not when she had already seen and heard enough to know that, had it not been for how this might very well be their only chance of ever being able to go against Ganondorf while still having a chance of winning such a fight, she would never have chosen to willingly return to the castle. So Midna did her best to ignore the way her heart was aching, begging her to open her mouth and let the words come to her, having faith that she would know what to say although it seemed impossible in that moment, and instead simply leant back as well. The stars might have been beautiful, but as they both gradually lowered themselves further and further back, soon lying on the ground, Midna no longer looked up at the stars in the sky. Instead, she took in the way Zelda glowed brighter than the sun as she lay there, looking almost like she might have been asleep had it not been for the fact that her eyes were open, a hint of a smile still having the honour of gracing her lips with its presence.
As the night closed in, Midna knowing that the moment where things would have to change—be it for the better or for the worse—grew closer with every breath, her entire body began to grow heavy, so heavy that Midna was no longer able to lift her head from the ground. Before long, she felt how she slipped away, into the darkness. It must have been because Zelda was there with her, but for the first in time in as long as Midna could recall, she did not have even the tiniest hint of a nightmare to interrupt her rest. Instead, she slept through the night, dreaming of Zelda.