Trigger Warning: trauma, blood, abuse

So this story is one me and my sister came up with as part of the background of "Wings of Rebellion", my next-gen Persona fic. I have rewritten it at least half a dozen times and I'm never doing it again.

That being said, this story is one I had to research. I am not a medical professional nor am I aiming to become one. However, I have been checking and double-checking all my facts to make sure this story has the gut-punch it should because we all fucking need one.

Oh, and also: trigger warning—premature birth.

Haru, from the time she was a child, had been made to fear being ostracized.

Her father had made it clear that social suicide might as well be actual suicide. Therefore she had to play into what society wanted her to be. That mean being seen and not heard. Acting quiet and shy. Marrying a man she did not love because it was what her father wanted. No matter how much she wanted to break free, she couldn't. She was utterly trapped by their expectations, drowning in the sea of her own doubts and guilt and fear. Desperately waiting, hoping, praying that someone would take her hand and pull her out before it claimed her.

And that hand did come, but not in the way she'd expected. Considering whose hand it was, though, that made complete sense. While Ren had helped pull her out of the raging waters, she'd had to kick her feet and hold on tight. He was an anchor, keeping her grounded while she dealt with the fallout of her father's death and the subsequent media coverage. Ren Amamiya was the first real friend she'd ever had and… yeah, she fell for him. Head over heels in love. It helped that he genuinely wanted to spend time with her and he supported her.

Even after all that, after she'd broken free of Sugimura and she and Ren had begun living together after he graduated, there was still that little voice in her head. The one that said her father wouldn't approve, that society didn't approve of them living together when they weren't married yet. Or even engaged. Although she was able to quash it most of the time, sometimes it reared its nasty head and she'd pull away from him. He never pushed her too far, always treating the issue as kindly as he could and letting her have the space she needed.

But that was before.

That was before this piece of plastic in her hands with the two pink lines sat there mocking her, taunting her for being so stupid as to conceive a child out of wedlock. She felt herself slipping back into that sea of doubt and guilt and fear, her father's voice yelling at her for sullying the Okumura name for a boy who wasn't worthy of her. All she could do was sit there on the bathroom floor and stare at the tile pattern. How was she going to tell Ren? What was she going to do?

She wasn't sure how long she sat there before she started moving. In fact, years down the line, she'd recall that she really went on autopilot for the rest of the afternoon while she waited for Ren to get home. The pregnancy test found its way into the trash, which was then taken out to the dumpster. Somehow dinner was made and wasn't burned. He came home and they went about their normal evening routine. Not once did she bring up the pregnancy or the test.

The next day passed, and then the next. Soon it had been two weeks since she'd found out and she hadn't found the courage to breathe one word of it to Ren. She read through some posts online made by unmarried pregnant women and they did nothing to help soothe her nerves. So many talked about how their babies' fathers had left them alone, how their families and friends had abandoned them entirely, and all throughout she could hear the voice sneering how Ren and the others would do the same.

Things were eased somewhat slightly when Ren proposed to her three weeks after the positive test (he didn't know about the baby which meant that he was doing it because he loved her) and a week after that Ann announced her own pregnancy. Now Haru found herself making excuses in her own mind. She didn't want people to think Ren was only marrying her for the baby. She didn't want to take attention away from Ann. And of course there was the ever-present 'you're a little slut!' in a voice that sounded horrifyingly similar to her ex-fiancé. None of it would go away.

Ren did eventually find out, of course, though not in any way she'd wanted. Futaba had been over to spend time with her 'basically brother' and it turned out that the hacker of the Phantom Thieves had developed a habit of peeking through their browser histories. She'd found Haru's searches on 'how to tell your fiancé that you're pregnant' as a result. Thinking that Ren already knew (based on the searches), she'd congratulated him and left him confused and extremely worried.

That was the Ren Haru came home to that night. He was completely silent as he pulled her into a hug and put his hands against her belly. It was only a slight bump but it was there. It was the first time Haru had actually seen him cry as she broke down too, apologizing for hiding it for so long and begging for forgiveness. He was angry, sure, but not at her. He was more angry at her father for the fact that her upbringing had led her to believe she had to hide the pregnancy or lose him. Once they'd both calmed down, they'd had a talk about what they were going to do. Ren insisted she see a doctor; that point was nonnegotiable for him. They ended up seeing Dr. Takemi, who (after chewing Haru out for not getting prenatal care and Ren for not paying better attention) estimated that Haru was around 24 weeks based on her ultrasound. Arrangements were made for the next one and Takemi warned that Haru really needed to take care of herself and the baby as much as she could for a healthy delivery.

Fate, on the other hand, had other ideas.

On September 15, around a month after their initial visit to Dr. Takemi, Ann went into labor. She gave birth to a healthy set of twins—one boy, one girl. Ryuji was probably the proudest father Haru had ever seen when she got to see the babies for the first time. On her and Ren's way out she stopped by the bathroom. Her stomach had been hurting her on and off all day and she really had to pee out of nowhere. Inside the restroom, however, she began to panic when she saw faint blood in her underwear. The pains were rolling through still, getting stronger and lasting longer with each and every wave.

Everything that happened next, for her, was a blur. Ren coming in, talking to her, picking her up and carrying her to the nurses… the next memory that was clear was when she was lying in a hospital bed with Ren sitting on a chair next to her with her hand in his.

But there was more to the story.

Haru: SOS

Those three letters sent chills up Ren's spine. He quickly entered the restroom to find Haru clutching her belly in pain. A puddle was on the floor around her and he knew, almost on instinct, that something was deeply wrong. She was only 28 weeks, according to Takemi. She shouldn't be in this state.

But she is.

"It's gonna be okay. All right? I promise."

He knelt beside her and scooped her into his arms, carrying her out of the restroom much to the shock of the startled nurse who happened to be passing by.

"Please, get someone," he begged. "She's in labor. It's too early."

The nurse nodded. Within minutes, a gurney had been produced and the nurses bundled Haru off to a room for examination. He tried to follow and the nurse he'd alerted stepped into his path.

"I'm sorry, but we need space to work on her. Please stay out here."

He felt like he couldn't breathe, like water was filling his lungs. Ren staggered backwards, his back hitting the wall and causing him to sink down to a sitting position. He ended up burying his face in his knees.

Not once had he ever felt this damn useless. He was the one who usually had a solution or took action to fix something. But right now? Right now he couldn't do anything to help Haru or their soon-to-be-born child.

I feel like I'm gonna vomit…

The water was surrounding him, making him sink deeper and deeper until his lungs burned and he just wanted to come up for air but couldn't bring himself to swim for the surface. Haru was in pain, she and their child were both in danger, and it was his fault. He was drowning now.

"Ren?"

Futaba's voice rang out in his ears.

"Ren, what's wrong? Where's…?"

"It's too early," he croaked. "It's too damn early. They wouldn't let me go with her."

He suddenly felt a pair of hands on either side of him. Ren managed to look up to see that Yusuke and Makoto were the culprits.

"What do you mean it's too early?" Makoto questioned, her red eyes narrowed.

"She went into labor." The two on either side of him looked confused. Futaba, on the other hand, looked rightfully concerned.

"No… that can't be right. She's…"

"28 weeks."

"Holy shit. It's way too damn early. That's a preemie."

"Could somebody please explain what's going on?" Yusuke asked.

"Okay, Haru's pregnant and she's been super freaked out about telling people and she's only about… seven months along. And apparently she just went into labor."

"EXCUSE ME WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ah, that voice. They all knew that voice.

"Hey, Ryuji," Futaba greeted their loudmouth friend.

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

Ren shook his head, bile forming in the back of his throat. Ryuji took one look at his best friend's face and immediately backed down. None of them had ever seen Ren look quite so vulnerable before. He was the tough one, the one who didn't take shit from anybody, but right now… it was like a stiff breeze could have shattered him into pieces they weren't sure they could fit back together.

Eventually, something happened. Takemi (who worked at the hospital) came to get Ren. They'd successfully delivered the baby after failing to stop Haru's labor and currently his fiancée needed him. Ren rushed to her room and sat by her bedside, her hand clutched in his as she slept. She woke up, confused and very worried, and he had to be the one to tell her that she'd given birth to a baby girl. Before too much longer they were led to the NICU (Haru in a wheelchair), where their daughter was in an incubator and on a respirator.

"She's approximately sixteen inches long and weighs around two-and-a-half pounds," the NICU doctor in charge informed them in a quiet voice. "Her chances of survival are high but there's a high chance she'll have health problems throughout her life."

Haru stared at her daughter, lying in that glass box, barely able to move.

"Hanako." Ren and the doctor looked at her in confusion. "Her name is Hanako."

Ren smirked at her. The doctor shrugged and wrote the name down on both the baby's chart and the birth certificate before leaving the new parents alone with their daughter.

"She's a fighter," Ren told her in a quiet voice. "Watch—she's gonna be just like you."

"Mm… no, I think she'll take after you."

They were allowed to touch her since physical contact was important at that stage. And according to the doctors, Hanako would have to reach five-and-a-half pounds in order to be released from the hospital. Even though Haru had been cleared to go home she refused to leave. If something went wrong with their little girl she wanted to be there. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving her baby. Ren stayed, too, only leaving to get them each a change of clothes from the house.

As Hanako grew, it became clear that Ren had been right about her being a fighter. It took quite a while for her to grow to the size she needed to be, but Haru and Ren were there for their Hana all the while. Two months passed before Hana got her weight up to five-and-a-half pounds and she was able to go home. Ren and Haru carried her through the door and were greeted by their family—their crazy, wonderful family. Ann had conscripted her husband, Makoto, and Yusuke into setting up a nursery for Hana that Haru loved more than anything else that was gifted to them.

But the best part?

The best part was when it was quiet and all the guests had left. Haru sat in the rocking chair Sojiro had gotten them with Hana in her arms, their sweet baby breathing as she slept. Ren was nearby, smiling at his wife and child. He had never been this happy before. For just this moment, all that existed in the world was the three of them and part of him wanted it to last forever. But he'd hold onto it now and until the day he died, even when Hana grew older and rebelled and had a family of her own, he'd remember.

Haru looked up at him with tears of joy in her eyes, as if she couldn't believe this was happening. After so many months of secrets and then waiting, waiting for her baby to be able to come home, she had a family again. She had a loving fiancé and a beautiful little girl and that was all she needed. She would never need help to come up for air from the sea of doubt again because she had Ren. She had Hana. And that was all that mattered.

They briefly shared a kiss and headed back to their bedroom, laying Hana in the bassinet before climbing into bed and turning off the light.

SO

This was originally written for ShuHaru Week 2020, but I never got around to publishing it or any of the others. To make up for it, I'll post a couple that I did finish because believe you me, I did not finish all seven days because procrastination is my curse.

Probably the next one will be even longer than this. Not counting notes the word count is 2322. Counting notes it's 2512. That's a lot for a one-shot!

So long and thanks for all the fish!