The Trapped Assassin
By SarahsSupplyCloset
Author's Note: Wow, the hits and reviews keep climbing. Really grateful to all of my readers! Can't believe that a Charah story with an M rating is getting this many people. The site makes it easy to miss M-Rated things, I've noticed. So thanks so much to all of you for continuing to come back! I appreciate it so much!
Disclaimer: I don't own CHUCK. I'm not making a cent from writing this story.
Chapter 4: Castle on the Hill
The lobby seemed much less crowded than it had been when Sarah had left earlier to go for her morning jog, so she paused before heading out to the path that led to her own building and turned to go back to the front desk.
Most of her orders hadn't been coming through her cell phone. Instead, Graham left coded messages with the front desk. Of course, he hadn't said even a word to her since she called him about successfully completing the mission she'd come here to do in the first place. It had been three days now and still absolutely nothing.
Even after she'd passed the intel on to another agent, all she'd gotten was a quick note that let her know they'd received it. She didn't really need a "Good work", like she was a school kid in need of validation from her teacher or something. There were no gold stars in the CIA. But there was no update on her status. No other mission was coming in. She was just here in limbo.
"Vacation", they'd said. The more she thought about it, the more she felt like this was a suspension instead of a vacation. And the more she felt herself leaning towards something that, frankly, terrified her.
But in spite of the terror, there was a sense of risk that seemed more positive than anything. It was a risk that felt different than climbing out of a seventh floor window and scaling the wall of a building to the roof with nothing but a single rope to keep her from falling. It felt different than diving out of a plane thousands of feet above earth with nothing but an unchecked parachute on her back.
It was a risk that meant she was a real person. It was the risk of living a real life, how people who weren't assassins for the CIA lived. A wide open future before her. She didn't know anything else but this job. She wouldn't have the big paycheck, or the security of knowing what every single day was going to look like, knowing who she had to report to. She had one goal each day, and that was to survive.
This would be so different.
Nobody was going to be there to tell her what to do.
Even that was scary. No orders, no dossiers to study. No superiors giving her a mission. It was so easy, even if some of it required a great deal of physical effort and mental concentration. She did the job and moved on to the next one. She was good at it. And until recently, she'd avoided dwelling on the repercussions of what she did.
She preferred to keep going, buzzing on to the next job and then the next job, jet setting around the world, escaping from her demons, from making connections, from everything.
And if she didn't have some higher power telling her where to go, what to do, if she wasn't given the option to move through her work and her life like she was a robot, that meant she would have to make her own decisions. She would have to take control of her own life.
Leaving the CIA meant taking a huge risk.
But she couldn't help feeling like it was a necessary risk.
So that she could be human again.
Or maybe she was too far gone. And that was the one thing keeping her from taking the leap. What if she'd done too much? Killed too many? What if she was past humanity now? Too lost in the shadows of the CIA, unable to get back to the light? And even if she could get to it, did she deserve it?
No. She didn't.
And she was selfish to try, after all of the taking she'd done, even as a child before the CIA. She was selfish to reach for something she didn't deserve.
Feeling heavier than she'd felt in at least the last few days, she asked the clerk if there were any messages for her once she reached the desk, hoping Graham had sent her word. Some coded message giving her a next assignment. Anything, really, that meant she was even on Graham's radar.
She forgot about the director of the CIA completely when instead she was informed that a Mr. Bartowski in 807 left a message for her.
She took the note the clerk handed her and read it on the spot.
Sarah,
I'll be at Chez Adeline for lunch today, from around noon until 1:30 or so. You are more than welcome to join me if it tickles your fancy.
Yours,
Chuck
"Merci," she said to the clerk, and he responded with a polite smile. Then he exchanged a few pleasantries with the man who came up to the desk next as Sarah moved away.
She'd woken up this morning with a smile for the first time since…
Well, she honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd woken up with a smile. And then it had dimmed again when she realized the thing that had made her smile in the first place had been a one-time situation.
Part of her wished she'd chosen to end her time with him on a particularly different note. To say she was curious about him was an understatement. And that was probably why she decided it was better that they hadn't gone further, that she hadn't invited him in.
But if she had, she'd at least have a little more to remember him by.
Or it would've just made everything that much harder.
Or…
And that waffling back and forth had gone on throughout the first half of her morning jog, too.
She'd ended up feeling like last night was just a bittersweet time in her life that she would think about whenever she was feeling low or something. She would think about the man with the eyes that were more amber than brown. And his dark curly hair. The sound of his laugh, and the sweet adrenaline that went with knowing she'd been the one to make him laugh. The way he'd stared at her feet like his life depended on it while she taught him to dance on the dock. And the way the sparkle in his eyes once he started getting the hang of it made her pulse race in a way that was much different than being chased through the dark streets of Bucharest by henchmen avenging the murder of their leader had.
To say nothing of that kiss. Her eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head as she thought of it again.
But now she held a note from him in her hand as she walked through the lobby to the door, moving along the outdoor path at a good clip to get to her building. A note that had quite a bit in it. He obviously didn't want to make any assumptions that she would show up. So he just casually said she was welcome to join him. It was thoughtful, sweet. And it was pretty typical of him.
Then again, after only one date, she was obviously assuming. But it was easy to assume nice things about Chuck Bartowski.
She thought about the note on the way up to her room, in the elevator, walking down the hallway. She thought about it as she opened her door. She thought about it while pacing the floor of her suite. She thought about it once she finally stepped into the shower.
She went back and forth over and over again. She was selfish. But she shouldn't be selfish. She shouldn't risk it. But wasn't this the type of risk she was talking about? The one that meant being human again? Being a real person?
This would be so difficult. Wasn't this what she was always trying to escape? Connecting with people? She'd only connected with less than a handful of people ever in her entire life. She never gave anyone a chance unless they were…particularly special, lucky, trustworthy. She couldn't do it.
But if she did, wasn't this a step in the right direction? But who was to say that was the right direction?
And what about Chuck? Shouldn't she consider him? He was a sweet, unsuspecting guy who simply thought she was some sort of government interpreter. He knew nothing of the truth. He didn't know she was a stone cold killer. The Ice Queen.
When she finally disappeared, when that next mission came through, he'd be left in her dust, wondering what happened to the pretty girl he'd thought he'd connected with.
It took a very long shower for her to finally realize that the note had already decided for her. There was no way she was ignoring it. She couldn't. She didn't have enough strength. Or enough self-loathing. She wanted to see him again. So bad that her hands were almost shaking when she finally turned off the water and reached out for her towel.
It was a little past noon when Sarah finally stepped into the midday sunlight. She'd pulled her damp hair back into a braid after her shower, not wanting to waste time with the loud, ineffective hairdryer that hung on the wall over the sink…and not wanting to waste time digging out her own from the bottom of her suitcase.
She put on tan capris with a white button-up blouse, a bra underneath instead of her bikini top. This was a date after all. Or was it? She thought it might be…
She didn't know.
Did it count as a date if it was a casual 'You can come if you want to' sort of invitation? He was going to be there anyways, whether she showed up or not. Right?
She honestly wasn't all that knowledgeable about dating. Pretending to be romanced by marks didn't exactly give her the most experience. Getting a man to drink a drugged glass of wine was different from receiving a sweet invitation at the hotel front desk.
Nor was having a high-octane tryst with a partner after an adrenaline-pumping mission considered dating.
She was almost at her destination fifteen minutes later as she hurried down the boardwalk along the water, not letting herself get distracted by the view. Chuck wrote in his message that he would be at the restaurant from noon until 1:30, so that meant he'd still be there at 12:15, right?
She forced herself not to get all fluttery.
This wasn't a job. It was just meeting up with some guy she thought was nice. And she'd be fooling herself if she didn't also admit that he was disarmingly hot, the more she thought about last night.
Maybe if this was a job, it'd be less nerve-wracking. She had way more control over a job. She could paste that certain smile on her face, and speak in just about any language. That included body language. Her mark would be thoroughly convinced.
But that control had been absent last night. She'd said too many things, done too many things, that bespoke of a certain lack of control. Things had a way of spilling out of her with this guy. It was terrifying and thrilling all at once.
But she needed to freaking control herself this time. She knew how charming he was, how comfortable he made her feel, even while he stripped her of common sense and caution. She'd be better about it this time.
Rolling her eyes at herself, she stopped at the outdoor cafe called Chez Adeline and realized this was a lot more casual than she'd thought. And she was glad that she hadn't worn a dress or something. Not that she'd figured it would be a super fancy five star restaurant since he was so cavalier about it in the note. One didn't go to a five star restaurant to hang out alone.
Calming her mind, which was running rampant with thoughts, the loudest of which was "Get out of here, this will only lead to trouble", Sarah walked through the patch of grass to the deck, casting her gaze around the benches where people were eating and chatting.
A soft breeze fluttered at her blouse and the wisps of hair that escaped her loose braid. She fixed her bag on her shoulder and stopped when she saw him.
Of course he was at a table against the railing, as close to the view as possible. He was lounging in his chair with his feet propped on the bottom rung of the railing, his eyes cast out at the sea. He looked peaceful, content. The whole vacation mode/casual thing suited him a little more than she was prepared for.
Chuck was wearing brown khaki pants that were rolled to his ankles, flip flops, and a pale blue button up with the sleeves loosely cupped around his elbows. The breeze made his curls shiver atop his head. She took the time to let her eyes run up and down his figure one more time, fighting back a shiver of pleasure at seeing him again, and then she dropped her gaze to the table he sat at. It seemed like he hadn't ordered anything yet. Was he waiting for her?
As she neared him, he casually glanced over his shoulder at her, like he'd felt her presence or something. He looked suspiciously like he was attempting to stifle the explosive grin on his face, but he was failing miserably. She liked that a lot.
"Hey, you came!"
Did he think she wouldn't? Or was he sure she would? How confident was he in his own charm?
She smiled back and watched him hop up to his feet in front of her.
"I did."
"Theeeen I take it you got the note I left for you. I didn't know if you were a message checker or not."
"Oh I always do. I may be on vacation but…work still finds me." When they wanted to, that was. Her smile inadvertently dimmed at that.
"I hear you loud and clear," he said with a roll of his eyes, luckily not catching it.
Then he grinned and trotted around the table to pull the chair across from his out for her to sit in.
"I gotta admit, though, I was kind of having a minor panic attack last night when I realized I never got your phone number." She sat in her chair and let him push her in a bit, glancing over her shoulder at him as he continued talking. "So I thought, you know, I could always just show up at your room since I know where it is now." He moved to his own seat across from her and sat down, scooting closer to the table and leaning with his elbows on it. "But then that's a lot of pressure, you know? For you, I mean. Like, if I just show up and say, 'Hello, would you like to go to lunch with me?' you might feel obligated since I'm standing right there in front of you. And I didn't want you to feel obligated. Nor did I want you to regret showing me where you're staying. So I thought leaving a note at the front desk for you might work. I mean either you got the note or you didn't. I asked him to make sure you knew that you weren't obligated to come," he rambled. "Did he tell you that? I mean, I was gonna be here eating a lazy lunch anyways. Did he tell you?"
"He did," she lied, because it felt like the nice thing to do. It didn't matter whether the clerk told her or not. She'd be here either way. She needed to see him again, whether it was prudent or not. She readjusted her sunglasses and mimicked him, leaning with her elbows on the table, too. "Well, I appreciate how thoughtful you were, going to all that trouble just to ask me out to lunch. But if you had showed up, I wouldn't have regretted letting you see where my suite is. I promise."
His toothy grin made her feel a little giddy.
"So are ya hungry?" he asked. "This isn't the fanciest establishment, but the vibe is nice and casual and the food is rated very highly on the delicious scale. So I've been told. Only thing is, we have to order at that window over there and then bring it over ourselves when it's ready."
"Sounds chill."
He chuckled. "Yeah, well…I thought chill was a good idea for lunch today."
"Chill is a good idea for everything every day," she said, bouncing a shoulder. And as he chuckled, she realized Agent Sarah Walker would never say something like that. Chill? Her life wasn't chill. Her existence was not chill. The nickname "Ice Queen" did not come about because she was chill.
But she smiled a little at him anyway, since he was looking at her with that bright look on his face.
"So…I snagged a menu…" He pushed it over to her. "If you pick what you want, I can go order for us and grab it. It's mostly salads and sandwiches. Soups."
"Lunchy things?"
"Lunchy things." He chuckled again.
They leaned close together over the tabletop and perused the small menu together, deciding on a canard baguette, an omelette baguette, and a croissant to share between them. Chuck proposed he retrieve their meal alone so that they wouldn't lose their table.
And ten minutes later, he staggered back to her, balancing everything in his arms with a wide-eyed look on his face, his cheeks puffed out. She laughed at him and stood up to take two of the plates off his hands. "I guess you were never a waiter, huh?"
He huffed in amusement. "That's the funny part. I was for a few months when I was in high school. Only a few months, though, because I was dreadful at it. Kind of clumsy. I cost that restaurant a fortune with the amount of plates I broke."
She smiled in amusement, eyeing their carb-heavy meal. Just looking at it made her want to take a nap and she let herself enjoy the fact that she could if she wanted to.
She offered to get them drinks and darted off when he agreed.
It took almost no time whatsoever for them to finish eating so that they were left with just their cold ciders and full stomachs. They seemed to wordlessly agree to stay where they were, enjoy the soft breeze, the perfect view, and the deliciousness of the hard cider.
Sarah eventually felt his gaze drift to her. She kept her blue eyes fastened on the large yacht pressed against a private dock about a mile down the shore and used her talents to keep from acknowledging that she felt him staring, lest she embarrass him. The assassin had been on so many missions, romanced too many marks. And she always knew she won when she felt them look at her like this, in the quiet moments. The way Chuck was looking at her now. But he wasn't a mark. He was just a man who thought he was looking at a woman, a normal woman. If he knew she was a murderer…
And when she shifted a little in her chair, she saw him quickly turn back to the dock. Sarah nearly smiled in amusement. Even the smallest of things that he did chased away the gloom that seemed ever-present in her, even when she'd been a little girl. She wasn't a fool. She knew there was something happening here, something she should run from.
Instead, she turned to face him with a thoughtful look. "So is this how video game gurus spend their vacations then?" she asked.
He snorted. "Um…Probably not, to be honest with you. Most of my employees would probably have brought their games with them. And all of this would be out here waiting for them if they ever left the gamer cocoon that their hotel room would inevitably become."
Sarah grinned and shook her head. "You're kidding."
"Only a little," he chuckled.
"Did you bring yours?"
He blushed and cleared his throat, shaking his head.
"You're totally lying to me." She knew he was. It was part of her training to learn to read people. To know when she was being lied to. And he hadn't even tried very hard.
"Wha—Well, now I'm offended. Why would I—No, you're totally right. I was lying. I did bring my laptop that has some video games on it. I couldn't resist. And…you know…a console. Or two." She laughed at him as he shrugged. He leaned over the table to continue. "But in my defense, I would never spend all my time doing that. Not with this place looking…well, looking like it looks. And the perfect weather. There's all this stuff to see and do. I know how to vacation, okay? I'm so good at…vacation."
Her smile grew with every word that came out of his mouth, so that by the time he finished, she was grinning like a madwoman. "You're really cute, you know that?"
"Cute? Well, thanks. Thanks for making me sound like a puppy."
She fell back against her chair and laughed, fixing her sunglasses. "You know how I meant it, you goof."
Chuck blushed adorably, before clearing his throat with a pleased smile on his face and finishing off his cider. "Do you have plans today?"
The question caught her off-guard. And while she had no plans, should she admit that? Not that playing hard to get was even slightly on the docket with Chuck Bartowski. With anyone really, unless she was attempting to get to a mark who required that kind of foolish behavior to be snared.
But if she just said "I have no plans today, tomorrow, the day after that, or ever really, unless my damn boss decides to call me" to Chuck, would it be a misstep? She'd have no excuse to fall back on if she wanted to back out.
And then she silently scoffed at herself.
Who was she kidding? So what if she ended up spending all day with him? She was certain it would be more enjoyable than sitting around by herself.
If she had to be stuck in Nice on "vacation" (which was actually an informal suspension), she might as well enjoy it to its fullest.
"Just general adventuring," she finally said with a shrug.
"Oh." He paused. "With anyone in particular?"
Sarah twisted her lips to the side and met his brown eyes, feeling heat rise from her blouse's loose collar as he blatantly flirted with her in that way of his that made her a little tingly.
Tingly? God…
What in the hell was she even doing? …Didn't matter. She was doing it anyway.
"Well, if you're game…with you," she said, shrugging one shoulder shyly. She wasn't sure how much of that was an act and it made her feel crazy.
"Oh, I'm so game. You can drag me all over this place if you want to." And maybe he hadn't meant to say that, what with the way he pulled back a little with his brow furrowed, as though he wondered where that had even come from. It was delightfully endearing how little he seemed to mind making fun of himself in front of her.
"Well, I don't know if I'll be dragging you, 'cause I was hoping you'd come willingly," she said with a flirtatious raise of her eyebrow.
"Very willingly," he said immediately. "Where to first?"
Sarah took a deep breath, not sure how to respond. Maybe it was just that she was a little overly eager about spending more time with him. Or maybe it was the way he said yes just as eagerly. And the resulting fluttery feeling in her at knowing he wanted to spend time with her of all people. This kind, successful, handsome man who probably could have had his pick of any pretty girl vacationing here. A voice told her it was only because he didn't know the real her, and she shoved it back almost violently.
She bit her lip. "Okay, choose one," she said. "View, hiking, swimming, surfing, sailing, flying—"
"View," he interrupted. "I don't need to hear the other options. Let's do the view thing first."
Sarah nodded. "Okay, um…"
The large stone fixtures, the sprawling Riviera on either side with a view that stretched all the way to the Promenade des Anglais, the waterfall, the alleyways perfect for leisurely meandering and adventuring…
"Castle Hill," she said finally.
"I don't know what that is. But you said castle, so I'm onboard."
She laughed. "You are a nerd."
"Of many things," he added. "Is it an actual castle? Lemme guess. Is it a castle on a hill?"
Sarah laughed again and shrugged. "Pretty much. It was a chateau, technically, but now it's more of a park with trails and a ridiculous view."
"Sounds amazing. Let's go." He leapt up from the table and rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Like a cartoon character or something. She was brimming at his antics.
"Now, hold on, tiger," she teased, reaching up to grab his arm and tug him back, standing up and acknowledging once again that he was so very tall. She kept her grip on his arm, smiling at his eagerness. "We need shoes we can walk in."
"Oh. Like, actual shoes? Right. Makes sense." He gave a flat look that she knew was directed at himself.
"Unless you want to take a taxi to the top. There's also a tram if you want to do that instead."
"The other option is hiking?"
"Well, it's not much of a hike. Just walking up a lot of stairs."
"I like stairs. Good for my ticker." He thumped his chest with his free hand and she raised her eyebrows. "I know. I'm a nerd."
"You are. But I like it."
This time, he raised his eyebrows. And then he smiled oh so slowly, and she decided they'd better get back to their rooms to put on shoes before she acted on the heat she felt and kissed him in front of all of these people. "Let's go."
"Meet in a few?"
"We're both going the same way, aren't we? At least for a little while," she said, gesturing towards the boardwalk.
"Oh. R-Right. Sorry."
Was he nervous or was it just her imagination? Because he seemed a little flighty. So she smirked and threaded her arm through his, pressing herself close to his side. "Are you okay?" she asked a little hesitantly as they started back.
"I'm actually fantastic. And, um…a little…"
She could see it in his face. The same feeling she had in her gut. "Overwhelmed?" She winced a little.
"Yes." Chuck snapped his head towards her and gave her a soft smile. "That's it exactly. I'm a little overwhelmed. A few days ago, I was kind of…just here. You know? And now I'm about to go to a castle on a hill with you, and it's—Don't get me wrong, this is amazing. I just don't know what happened between then and now. I'm sorry, I'm rambling."
"It's okay," she said reassuringly. "I like it when you ramble, too."
"A woman who likes that I'm nerdy and that I ramble? Jackpot."
Sarah laughed, and the feeling of explosive happiness didn't dim even slightly as they split up to go to their rooms, when they met again in the lobby, and as they took a cab to the bottom of the hill. She was beginning to wonder if the climb would tire her out enough to stamp out the giddiness that seemed to be perpetual when she was around him.
If it wasn't that, it was something else. Like how enjoyable he was. He was just a total joy to be around. Seemingly game for anything, quick to smile and laugh, funny, open and honest, and he didn't take things too seriously, including himself. Which was rare in a man.
Stop being such a sap, she thought to herself as they started up the steps, leaving the red and white stone Hotel Suisse behind. The steps had the lush, green hill to one side and a beautiful view of the water on the other.
"Have you ever done this before?" Chuck asked, slipping his hands into his pockets as they moved up the steps at a comfortable pace. They seemed to wordlessly agree not to rush up to the top.
Sarah's reasoning was rather simple. She was looking forward to spending some quality time with Chuck during the journey. What was the phrase? Something about the journey being more important than the destination?
Sure. That.
"I haven't," she said, smiling a little as he widened his eyes and quickly skipped around behind her so that he ended up on the side closest to the hill, essentially switching sides with her on the path. "What was that?" she asked, legitimately confused.
"So you can have the better view."
"Well, you haven't done this, either."
"I can see it over your head. Not sure if you noticed but I'm, uh, kinda tall." He shrugged with teasing smugness.
Honestly, that was the first time Sarah'd ever heard anything like that. A man who could see over her head? People were usually either shorter than her, or only a few inches taller. Chuck had at least half a foot on her. And while height had never been much of a factor in whether or not she found a man attractive, she had to admit it was becoming a factor here.
Maybe she did like her men tall.
Or maybe she just liked Chuck Bartowski.
"What?"
Sarah peered at him, taking in the soft smile, the way he squinted at her in the afternoon sunlight, the source now practically right over their heads. "What?" she parroted.
"You just smirked at something. What are you thinking about? Did I say something?"
"No, no," she said, waving him off. "Although, thank you for giving me the better view. Very chivalrous of you." Her teasing aside, she wagered nobody else would've even thought about that. Let alone taken action. But he'd already proven he was thoughtful and observant.
"Eh. It's no big. These plants are gorgeous, too." He flicked his thumb to the side at the greenery beside him, grinning.
They spent the next few minutes in comfortable silence, listening to the sounds surrounding them. Until finally, Sarah felt a bit of sweat trickle down her temple. It was probably about 20 degrees at the highest, which wasn't too terrible. But with the sun right on her head and the breeze being blocked by the hill, coupled with the exercise, she found herself needing the bottle of water she'd jammed in her small canvas rucksack.
She swung the single strap sack to her front, unbuckled the flap, and pulled the water out. "Want some?"
The look he sent her had his answer. And she didn't even bother trying to hold back the bubbling giggle. He looked like a man who'd been in the Sahara for days without water. Like she'd just saved his life.
Taking a long swig from the large bottle, she passed it off to him.
"You sure you don't mind?"
Sarah paused for only a moment, before she silently said to hell with it, and sent him a flirtatious look through her eyelashes. "After that kiss last night, do you really think I care about putting my lips where yours have been?"
He pulled the bottle away from his lips, choking as though the water had gone down the wrong pipe. "Hiyo," he wheezed, thumping himself on the chest. She helped him out a little, patting his back even as she did nothing to hide the cheeky smile on her face.
When he finally pulled himself together, needing one more sip of water, he screwed the cap back on and glared. "That was a hell of a moment to bring that up."
"I have no shame about that kiss," she said matter-of-factly, taking the bottle from him and noticing the way her heart sped up as their fingers brushed during the exchange.
"Obviously not," he said drolly.
"Why? Do you?"
Chuck just laughed loudly, rocking forward a little. It was an interesting response to her question. That was for sure. And she raised a single eyebrow at him.
"I'm sorry," he said, waving his hand apologetically. "I didn't mean to laugh. Really. It's just…What a question that is. Me. Ashamed. Of that kiss. Uhhh, no. That's a solid no. No shame. No shame whatsoever." She just watched him as he started his rambling again. "In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that kiss was probably the crowning achievement of my life. Graduating from Stanford? I mean, eh. That was cool. Starting my own gaming company and having it take off the way it did? Guess that was pretty cool, too, yeah." At some point she'd have to stop him, but she was enjoying this too much. "What happened outside of your room last night, though? I mean…So yeah, no shame there. Nope. I—"
She didn't no how to handle him, so shut him up in the best way she knew how, moving her rucksack around to her back again and grabbing his arm to stop him, tugging him to face her with that same arm, and moving to her tip toes to kiss him again. Whatever word he'd been in the process of saying ended up muffled against her mouth.
He didn't seem to mind, though, as his hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer.
The pure sex that was in last night's kiss wasn't as blatant now. But she still felt that all-encompassing warmth. Her toes even curled in her shoes.
And when she pulled back, looking up at his face, she was very pleased to see his eyelids flutter, his lips still pursed in awe. When he finally opened his eyes, that slow grin of his grew on his face. She bit her cheek to keep herself from kissing that grin right off.
"Okay, well…" He was quite the talker, this one. Even if he really had nothing to say.
Sarah licked her lips and cleared her throat, starting up the stairs again.
He eventually caught up with her and she had to work to keep him from seeing how pleased she was that it took him as long as it had.
The rest of the journey took longer than Sarah had thought it would, but like she'd mused at the beginning, the journey was the important part. And it had been even better than she'd hoped when she took that first step.
It was easy to talk to Chuck, learning about his work, his hobbies. She discovered that he liked the piano and that he'd had lessons as a kid, and when he couldn't afford them anymore, he just kept practicing on his own. But his favorite instrument to listen to was cello.
Sarah had no idea how hearing this man talk about cello music ended up being some of the most sensual few minutes of her life, but she'd emptied the water bottle while listening to him. If not because he was making her feel a little overheated, then because drinking gave her something to do to distract her from the tingling sensation between her legs.
She really had to make a point of listening to some cello music when she got back to her suite.
When they finally reached the top and began exploring, Sarah found Chuck to be a really good adventure partner. She could tell he was holding back a little, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of her, no doubt. And while it was flattering that he might want to impress her, she also wished he'd let loose a little more.
Then again, she was a hypocrite, because she constantly withheld almost everything at any given moment.
The boyish excitement that seemed to be radiating off of him as they strolled the pathways and looked up at the stone structures was so pleasant. Or perhaps a better word was pleasing. She almost forgot about her own wonderment.
It was something that she'd discovered only very recently, within the last year or so. But the world had so many beautiful things to offer. Both nature-made and man-made. And this was no different. The remainders of the chateau were stunning amidst the foliage, pressed into the brown hillside.
An hour passed by very quickly, and they eventually found themselves standing at a directory.
"So I don't know these words," Chuck informed her.
It made her laugh. She knew very well his difficulty with the French language. That was how she'd met him in the first place. And the poor guy had nearly gotten his head bitten off by a libidinous French surfer. "Oh, I know."
He glared, even as he smirked. "Well, I'm so sorry I don't know five hundred languages, Miss Smartypants."
"I'm Smartypants? And which one of us graduated from Stanford again?"
Chuck opened his mouth to retort, then halted, shut his mouth, and pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing at her. "Touché, mon chéri."
It was an offhand comment, and yet the fact that he'd just addressed her as his darling made her insides sway.
"Think we can find someplace to sit and eat for awhile? Some refreshment?" she asked, breathless. She could always just pretend it was the heat.
Granted, she'd been in worse heat than this, and in harsher conditions, after more rigorous activity—like eluding capture by Interpol agents in Istanbul, for instance. That had been an awful day. This day was much, much better.
"A capital idea, Watson," he said in a clipped English accent, offering her his arm. She took it, rolling her eyes at him and earning that massive grin again. He could do worse things than channel Sherlock Holmes, she supposed.
They eventually found a little café at the top where there was also a peaceful park.
The smell of freshly ground coffee assailed her senses as they stepped up to the stand made her buy some even though it was so warm out. She also bought some more water, as well as a baguette and fresh fruit. Chuck basically said "What she's having" in poor French and paid for all of it together before she could actually give the woman the money.
He merely shrugged in reply to her flat look as he pushed in front of her to pay.
"What?" he asked as they walked towards the nearest bench that had a nice tree beside it, shrouding the area in glorious shade. The breeze was back as well, since they were at the very top of the hill.
"You're sneaky, that's what."
"Only when I wear sneakers. Haaaa."
"Oh God." In spite of how cheesy that was, she found herself laughing and his resulting pleasure at making her laugh lifted her spirits significantly. Not that they were suffering before. "Just so you know, I'm laughing at you, not with you."
"Well, I'm laughing with me so that's something."
She couldn't remember having a better day than this. And that was because she'd never had a better day than this.
There were days with her father when she was a kid when he would take her out all day. Those had been such good days. Quality time spent with her dad "adventuring", as he'd called it. Looking back on it as an adult, it hadn't been adventure as much as swindling people blind. What bothered her now as she thought of those times wasn't that they'd been dishonest with innocent strangers. It was that her father had been dishonest with her. He'd made it all seem like a game they were playing. And she got rewarded in the form of rocky road ice cream when she won said game.
When she lost the game…Well, she got to watch TV in the hotel room while he finished a bottle of whiskey in the car outside.
Maybe she wouldn't have known the difference if he'd told her the truth. That what they were doing was illegal. And as she'd gotten old enough to know it was illegal, she found herself not caring much.
Either way, it still stung when she thought about it now.
"Hey, what's that look for?"
Sarah looked down and realized she was now sitting on the bench, holding her snack in her hands, being watched closely by a man who'd seemed to be nothing but honest with her since she met him.
"Hm? What look?" She put on an innocent face and popped the piece of bread in her mouth, chewing happily.
"You looked kinda morose for a second there. Like you weren't having fun. The thought of you not having fun fills me with dread. Is it me?"
The look on his face told her he was just teasing, most likely trying to make her smile as he nudged her with his elbow. She smiled back, trying to move on from her slip in controlling her face. "It's not you," she said, shaking her head. "I was just thinking about how nice of a time I'm having, actually."
"Do you usually frown when you think about how nice of a time you're having?"
That made her chuckle a little as she shook her head again. She took a moment to sip her coffee, reveling in the taste, how smokey and amazing it was, the soft hint of hazelnut.
Maybe she was absolutely crazy.
And maybe it wouldn't matter.
Maybe in a month she'd be back on the job and Chuck would be a nice, sweet memory. Him knowing something small about her past, something real…that wouldn't matter, would it? He wasn't an agent. He wasn't a terrorist or a criminal. He was just a guy who had a normal job, a normal life, a guy on vacation. He'd never use any of this against her. He'd never even see her again after this anyway. He'd never know anything but Sarah, the pretty woman he met on vacation in Nice that one time.
"I don't, actually. I was thinking about something else. Someone else."
"Oh." He didn't say anything else, shoving more food into his mouth. A lot of food actually, almost so that it looked like it was difficult for him to chew it. He resembled a chipmunk, actually. And as cute as it was, she couldn't help but wonder what prompted it.
Oh. Oh!
"Not like that. Not a someone like that." She giggled, nudging him with her shoulder and feeling herself blush. Was it just her imagination but had his reaction harbored a bit of jealousy? Maybe just a hint of it. Jealousy had always been something that annoyed Sarah. She hated what it did to people.
But for some reason, Chuck being jealous of some potential other man in her life made her want to hug the crap out of him. It was incredibly sweet. And where jealousy seemed to bring out the worst in everyone else she'd ever watched fall under its spell, the only effect it seemed to have on Chuck Bartowski was that he put more food in his mouth than he could chew.
"Oh, no, I wasn't…" he tried to say around the food. "I just…" He pointed to his still full mouth and continued chewing, blushing sheepishly. At least he was acknowledging how silly his jealousy was.
All Sarah could think about in that moment was how much she liked him. How powerful and immediate it was. And how much she wanted to talk to him. In a way that she'd never talked to anyone else. Ever.
"I was thinking about my dad."
He turned to face her and swallowed the rest of his food. "Oh." And he looked embarrassed by how relieved he sounded. "Sorry, I'm not that kind of guy. Really. The one that gets all…possessive and stuff. I don't mean to be a jerk."
"You're not," she reassured him, setting a hand on his wrist. "Not even a little bit."
"Oh." He looked relieved again, but she could tell he was waiting for her to continue.
And she only hesitated for a split second before she let it all spill forth. Lord help her.
"My dad and I don't really…see eye to eye. Anymore. Erm…what I mean is I don't really see him. I haven't seen him in…years. But the reason I thought about him just now was that this has been a really really good day. The best I can remember actually." That made him grin so hard she wondered if the sun had somehow snuck around the branches and leaves and was beating down on her again. But no, it wasn't the sun. It was just him.
"I guess I was comparing it to the other good days I had…back when I was a kid. With my dad." She was drawing the line at telling Chuck exactly what she did with her dad back then. The manipulation of people who answered the door and thought she was the cutest thing they'd ever seen in pigtails. "He used to buy me ice cream. And then he'd drop me off at home and go away again. He was…Well, he traveled a lot for work."
At least none of that was a lie.
And she wondered why it felt so much worse to lie to Chuck. If she just tiptoed around the lies, told as much of the truth as she could…she'd feel so much better than if she outright lied. She had already lied about her career, damn it. There was no real way to get around that other than a flat out lie.
"I'm sorry."
And the sincerity in his voice made her chest hurt a little. He wasn't looking at her with sympathy or pity. It was almost a sort of understanding that resided in his brown eyes, and as he looked down at his food in hand, she saw his jaw clench for a moment before releasing again.
"It's okay," she finally said with a shrug. "C'est la vie, as the French would say."
He sniffed in amusement, turning back to her. And then he sobered a little and swallowed. "Do you have any siblings?"
She was a little surprised by the question and she pursed her lips. This she had no trouble telling him the truth about. "Nope." She shrugged. "First, best, and only," she chirped, ending it with an amused little giggle. He gave her an incredibly soft, closed-mouth smile. "Which is probably good. They had trouble with one kid, I can't imagine what would've happened if they'd had two. Or worse, three." She shivered theatrically.
He laughed and watched her quietly, warmly. She liked it a lot. And she had no problem meeting his eyes in this moment.
"So what about your mom, then?"
"Oh, I haven't seen her since I was young. She's not really a…factor in my life." That was also the truth. But the reason why her mother wasn't a factor in her life, she was not ready to tell anyone. Not even this big-hearted nerd sitting beside her.
It still hadn't really even occurred to Sarah that she'd only met said nerd the day before. This just felt so natural and…intimate.
"Oh. That's too bad."
"It is what it is," she shrugged.
He was silent for a little while, eating slowly this time. Sarah would even go so far as to say he was picking at his food a bit.
She didn't quite know what to say, so she was glad when he spoke up again.
"I don't want it to sound like I know exactly what you've been through, like I'm being super presumptuous about your life. But I think I understand at least a little."
Sarah perked up a bit, scooting slightly closer, her food forgotten for the time being. "You do?"
He nodded, going quiet again before peering out at the few other explorers strolling through the park, distractedly picking at the crust of the baguette and dropping it to the grass at his feet. "Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen my parents for…years." He shook his head and looked down at his coffee, taking a quick sip and licking his lips.
"Oh. I'm sorry, Chuck."
She hadn't meant for their adventure to veer into Depressing Life Story Land. But she wanted to hear Chuck's story. Something in his eyes told her this was something he still thought about, maybe often. And she found the idea of anything hurting Chuck, even in the smallest way, abhorrent.
"Nah, it's okay. I've had enough time to work through it. Time and therapy, of course." He let out a soft snort and shook his head. "You don't wanna hear about that, though. A real sob story, I am." The wink he sent her was sweetly self-deprecating, but Sarah saw through it easily. She didn't have to be a spy for that.
"Do you mind if I ask what happened?"
He shook his head, eyes a little wide as he peered at her. "Not at all. I, uh…I mean, it's pretty simple. Mom left us when I was about 9. And um…" He let out a breath. "My dad was an engineer. Computer stuff, mostly. But he did contract work for companies around the LA area—you know, like business firms or law firms, things like that—and he was always working, locked away in his office. So it wasn't that different from before my mom left. Just a little…I don't know…worse. Then he started going off on business trips and to conferences and all that. He'd be gone for days, then weeks, then months…So we—that is, my sister and I—we pretty much took care of ourselves."
Sarah watched him closely, studying his eyes as he spoke. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for someone like him to be stuck with such awful parents. In a lot of ways, it made sense for her to have a con artist for a father and, well, a mother like her mother.
But Chuck didn't deserve that.
And what did it say about him that even with absent parents, he ended up the way he was? He was so very obviously…good. He was just good.
"Chuck, that's—" She halted, shaking her head. "It's so unfair."
He met her gaze and smiled a little. "I know. But like you said, it is what it is." He shrugged. "I mean, by the time my dad stopped coming home altogether, Ellie and I—that's my sister, Ellie—we were already used to him not being around. It's almost like he weaned us off of him. Or maybe he was…weaning himself off of us." He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously then, smirking. "Sorry, that's a really emo thing to say."
And for the first time since she met him, he looked sincerely lacking in confidence. She searched for a way to reassure him, to make him come alive again, have that happy look on his face. She'd really put a dampener on this adventure, hadn't she? Bringing up her dad and everything…
Served her right for opening up like the damn corpse flower that she was.
"It isn't. Not at all." She squeezed his arm. "But I have to say, I can't understand it."
"What can't you understand?" he asked curiously.
"Why anyone in their right mind wouldn't want to be where you are. All the time."
She blinked.
Where had that come from? She hadn't meant to say that.
But now she had and the way he was looking at her, almost as though he was in awe, as though that was the last thing he expected her to say…Apparently she'd said exactly what needed to be said, and she was so glad.
Because that light was back in his eyes. And his smile reached every last delicious part of him.
And then he set down his food and coffee on the bench on his other side and shifted close, cupping her face between his hands and kissing her so damn gently that she wondered if his lips were even touching hers for a split second. When he pulled back, she blinked at him a few times, nearly melting against him when he nudged her nose with his.
"Thank you. You didn't have to say that."
"I know." She shrugged, feeling a little shy. And this was probably the first time in a very long time that she'd felt shy. Sarah Walker, the "Ice Queen", didn't do shy.
They finished their food and coffee soon thereafter, then started for the waterfall Sarah had read about before. She didn't tell him that was where she was taking him, because she wanted to see his face light up. She wanted to see that boyish glee, and his attempts in vain to stamp it out in case he came off perhaps a little too boyish.
They heard the roaring water before they could see it, and the look of confusion Chuck sent her made her grin like an idiot. And then when they could see it, he halted in his tracks. He gaped for a moment, then clenched his fists and pressed them against his mouth.
"Ooooh, maaan!" He continued to stare, his jaw practically at his feet.
Sarah found the wherewithal to tear her gaze from the adorable sight of him being absolutely mesmerized by the famed Castle Hill waterfall, looking at the water cascading beautifully down the man-made stone face. It truly was a wonder to behold. Along with the crashing sound of the water smacking the rocks and falling down below, it was quite nearly overwhelming.
"This must be heaven," he breathed, and she barely heard him over the water.
They spent a bit longer than she'd planned there as Chuck read every last bit of information about it, and not just on the plaques, but pulling up info on his smart phone as well. He loudly announced interesting facts over the roar of the waterfall, causing a few other tourists nearby to glance at him with a hint of humor every so often.
Sarah didn't have it in her to be embarrassed by his enthusiasm. It was almost overwhelming how endearing it was. How did someone who'd practically had to raise himself after being abandoned by his parents manage to keep such a beautifully innocent and somewhat childlike view of the world? He was an absolute enigma.
She unabashedly wanted so much more of him.
They finally walked around to the observation point and leaned against the balustrade to look out at the bay and the promenade down below, Chuck seeming to have calmed down a little now that the roaring waterfall was left behind. The sun was at their backs, quite nearly touching the horizon to the west. And the sky was turning from blue to red-orange. It was a stunning sight to behold, and she followed Chuck when he turned his back on the bay and city to walk across and watch the sun start to sneak down, providing a backdrop for the buildings dotting the rolling hills of Nice.
After a few minutes of contemplation about whether or not she should, Sarah reached out to slip her hand into his. And after a little while longer, she tugged on his hand gently, meaning to start back down the path. They could find a nice spot for dinner, maybe have some wine by candlelight.
But he held fast, turning to face her. "There's something I need to tell you."
She hadn't been expecting that. Or the look on his face. It was sheepish, and maybe even a little guilty. She wasn't nervous about whatever it was he had to say. He wasn't a spy, after all. But she was curious.
"What is it?" she prompted when all he did was lick his lips and shift his weight to the other foot.
"It's about my sister. Well, I mean…no. I mean…It's about last night, actually. At dinner."
She tilted her head. "Dinner?"
"Yes. God. I lied to you. I'm such a loser. This is gonna sound so lame and I'm so sorry, but I have to tell you the truth. It's been eating at me. Remember when I pretended I dropped my spoon and then I hid under the tablecloth for, like, a good three minutes?" he asked, pushing a hand through his hair in what looked like frustration. Or maybe…anxiety?
"Yes. That couple you were avoiding because they were overly friendly."
"Right. Well, uh…what I mean is, well, wrong. I mean that's—I lied. Because they weren't just overly chatty tourists I got stuck on a boat with." He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. At himself, she mused. "I lied about that. They're actually—Well, she's my sister and he's my sister's fiancé." He winced and rubbed his hands down his front.
Sarah stared, wide-eyed, her mouth agape. "That was your sister?"
He buried his face in his hands and groaned a muffled, "Yeeees."
"Why did you want to hide from your sister?" she asked. "Is she that bad?"
"No, no! Not at all! That's why I feel like such a jerk, it's just…God, I'm so lame. I just didn't want them to see me and hurry over to introduce themselves. I mean, on a first date, that's like the worst possible thing to have happen. You being forced to meet my sister who practically raised me and her really well-intentioned but sometimes overly exuberant fiancé. They're both such fantastic people and I love them, really I do, just…Jesus, it would've been so awkward for you. And, uh, and me. Ellie's way more socially adept than I am, don't get me wrong. But she'd be a little embarrassing, honestly. Probably would've tried to talk me up to you or something. And Devon…I love him, but he has this cheesy grin and he winks a lot at inappropriate things during inappropriate moments." Finally, finally, Chuck took a deep breath, turning red. She didn't know if that was a blush or if he'd literally started running out of air he rambled so fast and for so long.
"Well, I get why you hid from them," she said, trying not to laugh for fear he'd take it as an insult. "But why not just tell me? I wouldn't have leapt up from my seat to invite them over to eat with us, you know. Why did you make up that story about the couple on the ferry or whatever? Why not just say 'oh it's my sister I don't want her to come over here'?"
"Because I didn't want you to think I was lame. Which, in hindsight, is really ridiculous. Considering this makes me sound waaaay more lame than if I'd just told you the truth." He winced. "I'm here on this romantic getaway…wiiiiith my sister and her fiancé."
She shook her head and furrowed her brow.
"Sarah, it's sad and lame. I'm basically the most giant third wheel on the planet in this situation."
"Has that put a dampener on your vacation?"
"I mean…no, not really."
"Then who cares?"
Chuck blinked and crossed his arms, a smile growing on one side of his mouth, giving her a slightly crooked happy look. "I guess you probably think I'm kind of a dweeb."
"A little. Yeah. But your heart's in the right place." She giggled when he gave her a flat look.
"I'm sorry I lied to you, Sarah."
And he was sincerely sorry, she could see. She heard it in his voice, too.
Something down inside of her screamed that she was the ultimate liar. She did her best not to let the guilt get to her right now in this warm moment between them. Here this man was fretting about a tiny lie he told her to save face—a purely desperate and sweet attempt to make himself look good in her eyes. And here she stood, having gone almost her entire life getting ahead through lie after lie.
If she even thought to judge him for lying about his sister, then she was a total hypocrite.
They walked back down again, hand in hand, and she shivered a little as they neared the bottom, now that the sun had slipped behind the buildings in the west and the sky was quickly darkening.
When Chuck seemed to notice the goosebumps crawling up and down her arms, he suggested they walk faster, until finally they opted to take a taxi back to their hotel.
Chuck let her pay for their ride, which she hadn't really expected, even while she appreciated it.
They stopped at the elevator in their building and she pressed the button to call it down.
"So, uh…Do you want to get dinner?" Chuck asked, pushing a hand through his hair.
She smiled at him as the elevator arrived, the ding seeming to startle him a little as he'd apparently gotten caught up in her smile. It was flattering. Sweet. "Sounds nice," she said as they stepped inside. They each pressed the button for their respective floors.
"I'm gonna need a shower first, though. And…erm, well…there's a restaurant across the street that is really formal. I don't know if you've got anything formal, but would you wanna go there? It's okay if not. We can do something more…erm…casual. If you're more comfortable with that."
So he wanted to take her to a fancy restaurant. Hmm. She was maybe smirking just a little. "I've got a little something I can throw on."
Maybe she hadn't meant to say that quite so flirtatiously, but he didn't seem to mind it.
The elevator stopped and the doors opened on her floor. "This, uh, this is my stop," she said, inching towards the elevator's exit, waiting for him to say something.
"Oh!" He stepped forward to make sure the doors didn't close on her by placing his foot against it. "How long do you think you need to get ready?"
Sarah made a show of thinking over her answer. "7:30?" That gave her two whole hours.
"You got it."
Then a thought occurred to her. "Wait. The restaurant across the street? La Rose?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"It's always got people spilling out of it whenever I see it. Are you sure we can get a table? You probably have to make reservations way in advance. Like days in advance." She moved out of the elevator and turned back to him, and she was pleasantly surprised when he placed his hands on either side of the threshold, leaning very close, his face only inches from hers.
"I'll take care of it."
The confidence in that statement, the way he smirked a tad, the jaunty way he was popping his hip… He was almost cocky. And as he stepped back into the elevator, leaned back against the rail, and crossed his arms, getting in a quick wink before the doors shut, Sarah shivered a little.
If that wasn't one of the sexiest displays of poise and self-assurance she'd ever seen in any man she'd ever known in her life, well then she wasn't one of the world's deadliest assassins.
The fact was that she just so happened to be one of the world's deadliest assassins.
Which meant she was looking forward to the rest of the night much, much more than she'd been even a few minutes ago.
Thanks, everyone! See you all soon!
SarahsSupplyCloset