The path to Reconnection

Chapter 1

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An unexpected return

Yes, Tidus was back, but things didn't quite go as he thought they would.

Sure, the first few days were spent in the bliss of his return. Besaid rose a feast to celebrate his coming back to Spira, Yuna couldn't believe it was actually happening and was stuck in a constant puppy mood, overjoyed and all over the place. Wakka instantly asked Tidus to be his child's godfather, and Lulu even trusted him enough to let him carry they baby—for a minute. But soon enough, the euphoria was gone, and everybody got caught up in their things again. Problem was, Tidus didn't have any 'things' to get caught up into here.

All he really wanted to do, was spend some time with Yuna. She had given him the sphere she had recorded for him during her journey with Rikku and Paine. They had watched it together on that first night, after everybody had gone to bed. They had taken a few bottles of wine, the rest of a cake and a blanket and had discreetly gone off to the beach. Yuna would pause the sphere from time to time, to add a few comments, or explain a little more, and Tidus would ask questions. She lied close to him, and he was lazily stroking her arm. It felt good, it felt natural, and yet... something fell off, but they both chose to ignore it. It was probably just the weirdness and awkwardness of his early return, it would certainly pass over time.

But once Tidus was all caught up with what she had been up to, they had both realized he didn't have anything to tell her. He hadn't changed one bit. He had merely stopped existing for two years. In his mind, they had just defeated Sin, and nothing had changed. But in hers, everything had. Spira was different, she was different, more mature, or so she thought. Sin being gone forever had changed so many things in Spira, had brought so much happiness and peacefulness. People's mentality and moral had evolved so much in so little time. Knowing Sin would never be back meant anything was possible, meant they could finally live without fear of dying or losing their friends and family. Everybody was so eager to live and to improve things that in only two years, Spira was like another planet.

And to top everything, He wasn't sure how he could fit in her life now. Since her adventures with the Gullwings were now over, she was back to Besaid full time and had a lot of responsibilities. She had people to advise, problems to solve. Tidus was sad to see that people in Spira still depended on Yuna so much. And sadder to see that she let it happen. But when he tried to make her understand that it was ok for her to let loose, she would only see it as him criticizing her and her way she was living her life and she rejected anything he would say. They were failing to understand each other. This two-year gap had desynchronized them, yet they refused to see it.

On a good day, Tidus had taken a walk, swam a bit, caught some fish even, and he would have a home cooked meal—with the help of Wakka, at first—ready for her when she got home. But those days grew rarer and rarer as time flew by, and Yuna could see he lacked purpose. Usually, after a long day of work, she would come home to discover that Tidus hadn't done much of his day, which didn't help improve his mood. And slowly, guilt crept and grew in her already worried mind. She felt guilty because he was back for her, and for her only, and she didn't have any time to spend with him. She couldn't fit him in his life anymore. And the biggest problem was that he only had her, really. He didn't have a lot of friends, just those in Besaid he was slowly learning to know, he didn't have any job, because this wasn't his world. The idea that he was entirely "for her" put a pressure far too heavy on their already fragile relationship. But they both ignored all this, and acted as if they were still so happy to see each other. "Couples fight, it's totally normal", Tidus would say. And she wanted to believe him so much.

Wakka, as assistant mayor and a full time dad, didn't have time to play Blitzball with Tidus or even to hang out with him really. He, Lulu and Yuna were always off at the temple, or at the docks, talking with some important people. They were planning to expand their city, now that it was safe to do so, and becoming a growing necessity—which was such a good sign for Spira.

Lulu, as mayor herself and a full time mom, had even less time to spend with him, had he want to—imagining himself hanging out with Lulu alone made him laugh, for some reason—especially with the baby. And when Tidus offered to babysit, Lulu gently—or rather, lulu-like—turned him down. She said he needed to spend a little more time supervised with him first. But, in time—which was very vague—she would accept with great pleasure, he was her godfather, after all.

He tried to make some friends, and he did, but it was a slow process and they all had jobs, or dreams, or something to motivate them. Tidus still loved Blitzball, even though he was rusty, and when the Besaid Aurochs occasionally came visit, he would happily play and train with them. They really had improved, Tidus was so impressed and proud. But they were usually off to Lucca, and even though they would always offer him to join, he felt like his relationship with Yuna wouldn't work at a distance. He would always tell them he would join them there eventually, "now's just not the right time". He just wanted to feel closer with Yuna, but truth be told, he was so bored here in Besaid.

And then came the day he decided they couldn't go on like this anymore.

There was some big issue at the temple, with Nooj's Youth League and Baralai's New Yevon. Thanks to Yuna, Rikku and Paine, among other factors, they both had decided, along with their friend Gippal, the Al-Bhed's leader, to rule Spira together in harmony. But they were still so different, and that's mainly why Yuna was needed, to play the negotiator and advisor of them both. They basically both wanted to do something radically different, and Yuna was, as usual, caught in the middle. Of what Tidus understood—Yuna usually never discussed her tasks with him, as if she didn't think he could understand, which would usually make for quiet diners—the main problem was that Nooj thought that the adoption system should be simplified, since so many children were still living in orphan homes, without families. He believed that age didn't necessarily equal maturity, and that was why younger people should be allowed to adopt, should they want to. Baralai on the other hand, thought it would be silly to just give out babies to 16 years old girls and boys, without doing a thorough background check on them first. It wasn't just because kids needed parents that anyone would do.

Yuna wasn't sure what to do, as she agreed with a few things on both sides. And when she had tried to ask Tidus for his opinion—which was a first, as she wanted to make a step towards him—he had disappointed her. Any other day, he would have been thrilled that she'd asked for his opinion, but today was one on those days where he felt so useless, and where Yuna felt so out of his grasp, and everything seemed too hard. Even when she tried to reach out to him, it didn't change the fact that they hadn't kissed and barely hugged in nearly two weeks. They were merely roommates on cold terms by now.

- "What would you tell them, if you were me?" She had asked, her hand stressfully playing with her forehead expression wrinkles.

- "I don't know, I think you should just stop worrying about things that much."

Yuna had just stared at him, and she sighted.

- "That's not really helpful…"

- "Yeah, well, you're out of luck, helpful isn't my forte these days", he sarcastically snapped, as he served himself more fish, his movements sharp, punctuating his sentence.

Yuna's crease in between her brows deepened, and she said nothing. He was suffering, and she didn't have any solution for it. She stood up, took a few of her things, and said:

- "Look. I don't want to fight, so I'll go sleep at Lulu's and Wakka's tonight, alright?"

Tidus looked at her, sad that she would assume they were going to fight right away, that they weren't even capable of communicating. But then he realized that she was probably right, they couldn't seem to communicate lately, so he just nodded and looked away.

- "See you tomorrow", she said in her little, sorry voice, and she gave him a small peak on the forehead.

That kiss felt so unnatural, and it was the first she had given him in weeks. He closed his eyes. What had become of them? This wasn't healthy, for either of them. They couldn't keep ignoring things. It was slowly killing their relationship. He couldn't, and wouldn't let that happen.

That evening, he thought about it all, and tried to find a solution. He thought about two years ago—which felt early in his memories—and what had brought them close, but he couldn't pin point one major reason, it was many things, really. So he went to lie on his bed and tried to change his approach.

Why was he feeling so bad? What did he miss in his life? He felt bored, useless, and invisible, to Yuna and to everybody else. He felt disconnected to a world he didn't know. Ironically, it felt like he was back to where he had been when he had first arrived in Spira, two and a half years ago. Stuck in strange world, a stranger to everything about it. And then it struck him. He sat up on his bed, looking intensively at the wall in front of him. He knew what he had to do, what would be best for him, and for Yuna.

So that night, he packed up all his things, which weren't much anyway. His mind was made up: he would leave Besaid.

On the next morning, he went to look for Yuna around lunch time, and asked her if she could give him a moment of her time.

- "It's important", he simply said.

They went outside of the temple, and sat there for a moment before Tidus spoke out:

- "Alright Yuna. I think we should finally be honest here. I'm just going to say what I think, ok? You've changed and I don't know who you are anymore, and you probably don't know who I am anymore. Heck, I don't even know who I am anymore."

Yuna took the hit. His words hurt, but she knew they were true. And it was time to accept their situation for what it was, rather than to keep ignoring it, like she had foolishly been doing.

- "Where are you going with this?" She asked finally, traces of the pain from the initial shock still lingering in her voice. She cleared her throat and hoped he didn't notice.

- "Well, yesterday I got to thinking. I have a lot of free time now, right? And I'd like to understand how Spira works now, and how I can fit into this whole mess, you know? So I figured, what better way to do that then to go on a world trip and discover it all again!"

- "That's a ... Good idea, indeed", she said, taking a second hit.

That meant he would leave. That he would leave her. Maybe it was for the best anyway, they weren't happy together. And yet, a part of her couldn't stop thinking "but I just got him back".

Tidus said nothing, he just looked at her face, and a small smile creeped onto his lips as he understood her expression. "Maybe there is still hope", he thought.

- "And I also thought, if you are up for it...", he paused, breathed out—boy this was hard—"that you could come with me", he added, really quickly. "That we could learn to understand each other again."

There. He had said it.

- "I...", she started but he cut her off, feeling the need to keep talking.

He was trying to take some importance out of the idea he'd just thrown by drowning it into more and more words. But it was still there, stuck in the air between them, resonating as if someone had just screamed it from Mount Gagazet.

- "I know you have responsibilities here. And I'm not asking you for an answer right away, I'll be going tomorrow morning, I think. It's all up to you, and I won't be mad, I won't blame you if you don't show up. I'll understand, I promise."

He knew how she would get; she never thought about herself first. So he knew better than to take offense if she didn't show. Plus, he knew how guilty she'd feel for not going if he didn't tell her it was alright.

He smiled at her reassuringly and she looked at him, puzzled. He gracefully stood up, bouncing his feet forward and then upward and walked towards her. He stopped in front of her for a minute, let his right hand rest on her shoulder for a bit, then walked away, calling after their red streaked-haired friend, wordlessly stating their heart-to-heart was over. Yuna sat there for a moment, reflecting. She wondered if his gesture just then really was all that she thought it meant. Was it his way of both saying goodbye to her and expressing his deep affection for her, just like back in Zanarkand Ruins? Was she reading too much into the gesture?

That afternoon, as Yuna arrived home, Tidus wasn't there–was he already gone? She couldn't stop a part of her from panicking. But she quickly found a note on the table that said "I'll be back in a bit—T". So she waited, the note in her hand. She already knew what to say to him.

- "No. That's a terrible idea."

Tidus stood here, shocked. He had never imagined that his offer would get that reply out of him. Yes, his friend always had had a strict, close-minded side, just like back when he thought all Al-Bhed were bad people. But that was really harsh, even for Wakka, and Tidus couldn't see how it was his problem anyway. Before he got the chance to say anything, thought, Yuna had already spoken:

- "Wakka", she said softly, but firmly nonetheless. "I know I have responsibilities here, and I already left once without warning you, and for that, I feel really bad. That's why I decided that I would talk to you before I left, this time. But please, do not think I need your permission. This is my story, and it has not been going the way I want it to for some time now."

Now, that was something that shocked Tidus even more. But definitely in a good way, this time.

- "Right on, Yuna! Plus, I got an idea that you'll like Wakka! Yuna is here as some sort of counselor, right? And she receives visitors, or messages from all around the world, am I correct?"

Wakka nodded, his arms crossed, his brows furrowed. He looked displeased, to say the least, but at least he was listening.

- "So why can't she go to them directly, instead of waiting for them to come here? That way, she does what she wants, but she can also advise people! I can be her guardian again, and it can be like a second pilgrimage to the temples… Only that it won't be to learn how to summon Aeons… nor to kill Sin. So … a much less sad pilgrimage! What do you say Wakks?"

- "I think it's a great idea", Yuna said, turning to Tidus, smiling broadly. It was the first real smile she had granted him with since they had first saw each other again, and it felt good.

Wakka slowly nodded, growing founder of the idea with each passing second. They both anxiously waited for his reply. It felt like they were hoping their dad would grand them permission to go out.

- "I'll talk it over with Lulu. But sounds like a plan to me."

And with that, he turned away.

- "Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be! He changed his mind so quickly. Must be his father hormones", Tidus exclaimed.

- "I heard that", Wakka growled.

Yuna laughed, and Tidus joined in. Finally, things were starting to look familiar again around here.

On the next day, they were on Besaid's docks, about to board on the famous S.S. Liki.

- "Take care of our Yuna, ya?"

- "You bet!" Tidus replied. His hand was brought up in a fist, his arm shaped like a 'V', which he pulled down in victory.

- "You are welcome home anytime you like, Yuna, never forget that", Lulu said as she hugged Yuna.

- "Thanks, you guys. I'll miss you. Write to me!"

- "We will. Keep us informed of where you go and what you are up to. Don't forget to visit a few temples, but don't work too hard, ok? You've deserved some time off. You both did."

Lulu really had those rare, fleeting moments where she would say exactly what needed to be said, Tidus thought. He loved her for that.

- "Ok Yuna! I have one ground rule for our journey! We can, and kind of have to, ask each other one personal question a day. But only one, understood?"

They were on the deck of the ship, and had just parted with their friends. Yuna turned to him, surprised. What was he up to?

- "Hmm… why only one question?"

- "So we have to make it a good one!"

Yuna thought about it for a bit. Only one personal question, huh? That seemed awfully little, and yet a whole lot more than what they had shared lately.

- "Ok!" She agreed, "I'm in!"

Tidus smiled, feeling victorious. It felt like their relationship was finally starting to go on the right track.

They spend the first few hours of the trip meeting the people they were travelling with. Now that it was safe, a lot of people had been down for doing some travelling, and seeing what beauties Spira had to offer. They especially loved travelling on the super famous SS. Liki Lady Yuna and her guardians had used. They met a family, and a group of friends traveling back to Kilika. And of course, all of them wanted to talk to Lady Yuna. Not a lot, if any, people remembered Tidus, and who could blame them? He had literally disappeared a few minutes after they had destroyed Yu Yevon. Yuna would present him right away of course, as his guardian and his friend. He didn't mind, that's what they were now, and it was ok. It was better this way, than to pretend to be perfectly happy together when they were not. And it was nobody's business, but themselves, what they really were to each other anyway.

They had lunch with the captain. He claimed he was the guy who first brought them to Kilika, two and a half years ago. Tidus admitted he didn't remember him.

- "Right back at ya, fellow stranger!" The captain said, slapping his hand on his shoulder.

As they got to talking, they seemed to be bounding, and the captain was warming up to Tidus. Yuna wasn't saying much, she just listened and admired Tidus people's skills. People had always warmed up to him pretty fast, including herself. He was easy to talk to, and had this calming, peaceful energy, this sense that everything would turn out ok in this end.

After lunch, a few people requested an audience with Yuna. She asked Tidus if he didn't mind her talking with them. He said no.

While she was off to a corner of the deck, on her session with the people, Tidus sat on the deck, eyes closed, letting the sea air softly brushing his face.

- "Hey! So you're the famous guardian Tidus, right?"

He opened one eye, and looked at the intruder:

- "Yup, that's me! Who are you?"

- "I'm Karina, you met my mom and dad earlier. So thanks you know, for saving Spira and all."

Tidus let out a small laugh, nodding. Before he even had the chance of asking, she had begun telling him all about her life. She was 14 years old, and liked Chocobo riding. She'd love to be a professional, but in Kilika, there were no Chocobo around. She'd love to go to the Calm lands, meet with Clasko, the now famous Chocobo trainer, but her parents kept telling her she was too young for that. Plus, they had other plans for her. Tidus sympathized with her, and tried to make her feel better.

- "You will be old enough soon, don't worry so much about it. For now, why don't you try to read books about Chocobo?"

- "You mean like, read actual books and stuff?" She said, looking disgusted by the idea.

Tidus laughed. That girl was such a cliché teenager. A sweet one, though.

As she heard his laugh resonating on the deck, Yuna looked his way. She knew better than to be jealous, and the girl was rather young anyway. Yet she couldn't help herself eyeing them from time to time, just to know what he was up to. He was a good looking guy after all. And the girl looked kinda cute.

Night finally fell, and after diner, Yuna joined Tidus, back to his spot out on the deck, watching the horizon. He looked so lost in thought, she almost didn't dare bother him.

- "That's where we first talked about your dad and you showed me the Jecht Shot", she said.

He didn't jump, as if he had sensed her presence before she had arrived. He didn't turn to look at her when he replied:

- "Haha, yeah, that's right. Seems like it was in another life now."

Yuna could sense his nostalgia, and it was contagious. So she said, in an attempt to lighten up the mood:

- "Do you think you could you teach it to me someday?"

- "What, The Jecht Shot? Sure!" He replied, a bit distractively.

Silence grew again between them. Yuna moved a bit closer to her trip partner, and looked at the horizon, next to him. There wasn't much to see, as it was growing darker and darker, and yet she found herself deeply hypnotized by the view, it was soothing and intriguing. Anything could be in there, hiding in the darkness.

- "So! I have my first question: Why exactly do you hate your dad so much?"

He seemed surprised by the question, his shoulders jerked back a bit:

- "For many reasons…"

- "Which are…?" She insisted.

- "Hey, that's two questions!" He said, clearly teasing her.

She poked his arm, glad to see he wasn't that sad after all.

- "You are not playing fair, come on! You didn't even answer me!"

- "Alright, alright. Well first, I'll have you know I'm over my hatred of my old man now. I matured a lot as we all journeyed together, you know? And by the end of it, I finally understood my dad better, so I stopped hating him... Why are you laughing?"

- "It's nothing", she smiled teasingly, "just the face you made when you said you'd matured… You looked cute."

Tidus blushed, taken aback by her words.

- "See? You're distracting me! I lost track of what I was saying now…", he said, scratching his head to gain back some kind of composure.

- "Sorry, sorry! She said, laughing some more, I'll stop. You were saying you understood him better."

- "Oh yeah, right."

He paused, and got lost again in his contemplation of the horizon. Yuna patiently waited, knowing the story was to come:

- "See", he finally started, "back home, my old man was always bringing me down, telling me I was no good, that I was a cry baby and all that stuff. And now, I understand it was just his way of making me stronger, of motivating me to be better than him. But as a kid I couldn't see that."

He paused again, and she tilted her head to one side, studying his face. His eyebrows were a bit furrowed, and he seemed so lost in his thought, time traveling in his mind. She hoped she hadn't sprung bad memories to the surface. Had she chosen her first question well?

- "Plus", he continued, him being a Blitzall player and all, he wasn't around much. "And whenever he was, my mother was all around him, and I lost all her attention... I guess him being there always meant my mom would stop paying attention to me, and also meant I was going to get brought down, somehow. Now I understand he just didn't know how to love me. But the important thing is that he did."

Yuna was still looking at him, studying his face some more. She nodded.

- "I understand."

- "Say", he added, still not looking at her, "what was he like with you? When you met him?"

- "Uuuuh, wanna use your precious and only question now, Tidus?" She teased.

She rarely ever said his name, and it felt strange when she did. But he liked it. He liked the sound of his name with her voice.

- "Oh man", he said, scratching his head again, "I don't know. What if I find something better later? Can this be like a bonus question?" He looked at her hopefully.

- "Nope! Only one question a day, rules are rules!" She replied, pointing one finger next to her slightly tilted head. "Plus, you're the one who made them up in the first place!"

- "Oh maaaaan!"

Yuna laughed as he whined, glad to see he was accepting to play in her game.

- "Ok. Let's see. It's night time already, and I still haven't used it. So I guess… I guess I'm gonna go with this one!"

- "Alright! So let me think… Jecht was nice to me, not at all how you described him, actually. I guess maybe he had already changed a bit when he arrived there. Oh, and also, my father was the one who got him out of jail, so he couldn't be mean to me, his daughter, I guess", Yuna said, laughing on that last part.

Tidus smiled, more for himself than for Yuna.

- "He told me a lot of stories, and described your Zanarkand. He talked about you, too."

- "What did he say?" Tidus said, immediately clearing his throat. He had seemed too eager just then, and he felt a bit embarrassed.

- "That he had a kid about my age back home. Always crying, but a good kid, with a good heart, always helping out his mom when his old man was out playing Blitzball. He said he couldn't wait to go home to tell you all about this world."

- "Hm", Tidus replied, considering her words. "Thanks."

- "You are most welcome. Sorry, I never shared this with you before, I should have. I guess I never thought about it."

- "Don't worry about it", he shrugged. "I never asked."

Yuna nodded, although he wasn't looking his way. They both stared silently at the obscurity of the clouded night y. It seemed to be melting with the dark, calm waters, making it impossible to know where the sky began, and where it ended. The waves were smoothly crashing against the ship, only sound troubling the silence of the night. The wind was starting to get a bit cold, but it was nice, Yuna thought. It felt salty, and exhilarating. It brought back so much memories, to be here on that ship, with him.

Their story began again now. This might be their last chance.