The Trapped Assassin

By SarahsSupplyCloset

Author's Note: It has been way too long and I apologize, but real life things happened and I couldn't find the time to focus on this story. Hopefully that's all behind me and I can focus more on this. Thanks for being patient, everyone, and I hope I haven't lost any readers in the meantime.

Disclaimer: I do not own CHUCK. I'm not making any money from this story.

Chapter 9: Nerd In Training

"How do you suppose they get strawberries this good?" she heard Chuck ask.

She stood at the bar, fixing them drinks with some club soda and gin. It was definitely a gin night. She had gin when she felt the most relaxed. But she knew she had to be careful with the alcohol. It was only 9:30. She didn't want to be so relaxed with the drinks and sitting around playing video games all day that she had to go back to her room at 10 o'clock to sleep like an old woman.

She looked over her shoulder at him and let herself take the shirtless man standing with his back to her in, watching as the muscles in his shoulders moved as he picked up another chocolate-covered strawberry and took a bite, licking his lips.

"It has to do with when they're picked. Those were probably picked today if they're that good. If you buy strawberries at a supermarket in America, say, those have been picked early and continue to ripen as they're shipped off to wherever they're going. But it still makes the strawberry less tasty."

"Well, I've never had a not tasty strawberry, so I'd say it doesn't really matter, but this strawberry was grown by the gods, I swear."

"And it's also covered in chocolate," she giggled, walking over to him with a drink in each hand. "Pick one."

"Are they the same?"

"Mhm."

He took one and paused, gnawing on his lip a little. Then he leaned forward to kiss her just beside her lips before turning away again. Sarah blinked at the back of his head, gaping a little. Why'd that feel so intimate, when all he did was kiss the corner of her mouth? It wasn't even a proper kiss. Why was her heart racing then?

She forced her mind to take a detour away from that and she took him in from his head to his toes as he finished his strawberry. He was in just his brown pants and nothing else. He looked so relaxed and at home in this hotel suite, and she found herself wondering what his actual home was like back in LA. Did he have a bachelor pad, covered in dorky memorabilia maybe? With a surround sound system and a massive television where he played his video games? Was there a fully stocked bar? Did he walk around shirtless a lot when he was home alone? Or everything-less, perhaps?

That warmth came over her again and she shifted her weight a little to peer over his shoulder at the strawberries. Feeling a little peckish and needing something to distract her from the image in her mind, she reached around with her free hand to nab one for herself, causing him to jump. "Oh sorry, lemme move—"

He backed into her hand holding the drink as he attempted to get out of her way, causing it to spill all over her front, immediately seeping into her bra. She gasped and backed away, looking down with wide eyes.

"Shit!" He was in front of her immediately, taking what was left of the drink and setting it on the tray. "Oh my God! I'm sorry! I'm such an idiot! Lemme get a towel!"

She simply laughed, even though it was a little sticky and uncomfortable having gin pool in her bra and start to make its way down her belly. "It's okay, Chuck."But he looked genuinely distressed as he rushed to the bathroom and emerged again with a towel in his hands. "Seriously, I fail so hard. I shouldn't be allowed to have spillable things." He dabbed at her front ineffectively and she gently took the towel out of his hands, stepping close to put her hand on his shoulder.

"Chuck, it's okay. It happens. It's not like it was beet juice or something that'll stain. I'll just take these down to get them laundered tomorrow and they'll be good as new." She paused, trying to dry under her shirt. And then she realized she should just take the shirt off altogether, which she did.

But the gin was still sticky. She could feel it drying in the worst way on her skin.

She didn't want to go back down to her room to shower. She was afraid the spell of the night would be broken by the time she came back up. And she wouldn't be able to get whatever this delicious feeling was back.

"Would it be okay—I mean, would you mind if I used your shower?"

Chuck swallowed thickly, before quickly shaking his head. "Of course I wouldn't. God, I'm so sorry. Really."

"It's okay," she said again, attempting to reassure him. "I'm not mad, Chuck. I promise."

"I know you aren't, but I still feel like a dumb ass."

"Please don't. I'll just rinse off the gin and it'll be fine."

"What about your clothes, though? I mean, you can't just walk around here naked—Well, you can. If you want to. You don't have to. I'm not saying—What I mean is—"

"Chuck?"

"Yes."

I felt like I should do him a favor by cutting him off there. It was the right thing to do even though I would've liked to see where he ended up with that.

"Lemme borrow a shirt or something and I'll be fine. It didn't get on my underwear, just my shirt, bra, and pants."

He blinked. "Oh. Right!"

She turned away from him and walked towards his bedroom, stopping in the doorway to look over her shoulder and smirk. "Don't go anywhere."

"No, I won't. I'll just…be here. I'll make another drink for ya."

"Um…that's okay, I don't really need a drink." She made a face and he chuckled, even though she could see he was still embarrassed.

A minute later as she stepped into his shower, she let the jet slam into her body, careful to keep her hair from getting wet. It felt so good that she maybe took longer than she meant to. In fact, she was in the process of getting lost in how good it felt when she heard a knock on the bathroom door.

Nearly dropping the soap, she jumped a little and opened her eyes, blinking. For a split second, she'd forgotten she was in Chuck's bathroom and not her own. "U-Uh, yes?" she called out, raising her voice.

"Sorry, I just…do you want my shirt now? Or later?" she heard Chuck ask, his voice a little unsure and tentative.

"You can just set it on the counter. Oh, and…I didn't think about a towel. Do you have an extra one?"

The door swung open then and she blanched a little bit. It wasn't like Chuck hadn't seen her naked before, and anyways, the steam had fogged up the glass door pretty well. But she had never shared her shower time with anyone else. It was a personal, private thing.

But then she smiled as she glanced over at Chuck. Because he entered with his eyes shut, blindly feeling around for the counter with one hand, a shirt and towel in his other hand. The unsettled feeling she'd had a moment ago was gone. "Chuck, you don't have to close your eyes. It's nothing you haven't seen before."

He carefully opened his eyes, but still didn't look directly at her. "I know. I just…You know, privacy. So there's my shirt and, uh, the extra towel. I'll be out there trying to get gin out of the carpet. So take your time."

Sarah giggled softly, swiping at the door to be able to see him a little better. "Hey. Chuck."

He finally looked at her.

"Thank you." She didn't know if he recognized the deeper meaning there, the fact that she was thanking him not just for bringing her a dry shirt and a towel but also for instinctively respecting her privacy. He simply nodded and ducked out of the bathroom.

She turned off the shower not a minute after he left, stepping out to dry herself quickly, pull her panties back on, and pick up the neatly folded shirt he'd left on the counter. She unfolded it and held it up in front of her. It had the Union Jack on it, with a motorbike's silhouette imprinted over it. She shrugged and tugged the black T-shirt on.

Folding her towel neatly, she walked out of the bathroom and into the room where Chuck was, pulling the hair tie out and letting her golden locks fall over her shoulders.

She spotted Chuck on his hands and knees with a hand towel pressed against the floor, but he wasn't focused on it anymore. His brown eyes were staring at her, his mouth gaping a little. "Uh…I…" He shook himself a little, licked his lips and went back to work. "I think I got it out. The drink, I mean. You can't see it. So that's good. It's all clean and stuff. Yeah."

Sarah inwardly smiled and crossed the room to look down as he moved the towel away. "You did good work."

"Well, thanks. When your best friend is kind of a toddler, you learn how to clean up messes."

She furrowed her brow at him.

"Sorry, that's mean. My best friend isn't a toddler. He's my age. Well, 27 now. He's a few months older than me. But Morgan spills a lot, is what I'm saying. He's like…the type of guy who when everybody gets up from the table after a meal, you can tell where he was because there are crumbs all over and a red wine spot on the tablecloth. Anyways!"

Chuck scrambled up to his feet and smoothed his hands down the front of his pants. He still hadn't put his shirt back on, which she appreciated greatly. Because it meant she could step up close to him and put a hand on his chest, gently playing with the smattering of hair…like she was doing currently.

"I think I will have a drink, actually," she decided, fully aware of the look she was giving him.

"I'll make 'em. And I'll leave yours sitting on the bar, so that I don't pour it all over you again." He grinned, his nose wrinkled in a wince.

"No, it's okay," she giggled. "I'll make it. Eat some more strawberries."

Sarah made short work of the drink, bringing the one she'd made him earlier over. He made a production out of very carefully reaching over to pluck it from her fingers and cradling it carefully to his chest with both hands. She just laughed and shook her head.

"Ellie called again while you were in the shower. I'm pretty sure she's buzzed. And she also said she found a woman named Angelique who is very interested in me. So there's that."

Sarah raised an eyebrow at that, sipping her gin. "Really? Angelique, hm? She French?"

"Sounds like it. Yes. But I pretended like I couldn't hear her when Ellie put her on the phone. I'm probably gonna get fried for it tomorrow, but eh."

"Wait, wait." She chuckled a little. "Ellie put her on the phone to talk with you?"

"Mhm. Yes. Yes, she did. Angelique sounds nice enough, but I'm not interested." He walked around to the couch and plopped down onto it, still cradling his drink carefully…Adorable.

Sarah followed and sat next to him, pursing her lips to keep from showing how pleased his words made her. "You're not? She is probably pretty gorgeous if she's French and at a club on a Wednesday night in Nice, and your sister thought to set you up with her. Your sister who obviously cares about your well-being more than anyone, it sounds like. And you're not interested?"

She knew that she was fishing, that she wanted him to say why he wasn't interested. Maybe she'd lost her soul a long time ago, but she was still human; she was still a woman who enjoyed being flattered by a man who'd since proven he had good judgment.

"Well, I didn't come here to meet some random woman at a club. I especially didn't come here to have my sister meet some random woman at a club and call me to make me talk to her." Sarah giggled a little at the face he made. "So there's that. I know Ellie means well, and she only really gets this pushy when she has enough alcohol or she's super tired. And it's probably both. Because she usually has a better filter. She isn't always like this."

Sarah smiled, tucking her bare legs up underneath her and facing him. "So what you're saying is…?"

"What I'm saying is…Even if you weren't here, even if I hadn't met you a few days ago, that sort of thing just isn't my style."

"Oh, but meeting a woman on the beach is different?"

"Yes." He furrowed his brow. "Wait, no. I don't know. You're different."

Biting her lip, she diverted her gaze down to her drink, swirling it a little in the glass, then looking back up at him through her eyelashes. "How so?"

"I don't know. You just are. I'm not really making my point, am I?"

"I mean, not really, but that's oka—"

He'd set his drink down and quickly moved in to kiss her. She had the wherewithal to hold onto her own drink securely, knowing that spilling it again would really dampen things this time, in more ways than one. His lips were so gentle, lacking the pressure or the desire they usually had when he kissed her. He dotted her lips with soft kisses, barely even touching her as he ghosted his mouth over hers. And with capable fingers, he plucked her drink out of her hand and quickly leaned over to put it on the coffee table, before he came right back to her, wrapping his arms around her and leaning her back against the cushions.

His attentions were still so very gentle, almost as if he was worshipping her, his lips dotting down her jaw, over her neck, back up again. It continued like this for awhile, until she was completely breathless, moved by his show of unending tenderness.

Until Chuck finally propped himself up over her and reached up to push a few wisps of hair away from her face. "Apparently my words aren't working right now, which isn't exactly new for me." His lips cracked a small crooked smile. And then he became serious again. "So if it's okay, I'd like to show you."

How could she say no? She had no idea what that even meant, but how could she say anything but yes? Even so, her words seemed to not be working either, so instead, she just nodded, swallowing thickly. He smiled just slightly, then lowered his lips to hers again.

He kissed her a little harder, and she felt his fingers drift down her sides, ghosting over the swells of her breasts. He stroked underneath the shirt he let her borrow, his hands cool from holding their drinks. She shivered and let out a soft sigh, until she felt his fingers dip into the waistline of her panties.

Oh, he wanted to show her. Well.

She bit her lip as he angled his body off of hers to slide her panties down her legs and set drop out of the way. She reached over tucked her own fingers into the waistline of his pants, sliding them around to the front and giving him a teasing, wanton tug, before undoing the button there.

But he gently closed his hand over both of hers and pushed them away, shaking his head slowly.

She tilted her head in curiosity, but then he slid off of the couch, lowering himself to kneel on the floor in front of her. He wrapped his fingers around her hips, pulling her close so that her ass was perched on the edge of the cushion.

Oh God. Oh God he wasn't.

Oh God he was.

He slid his arm under her right leg to prop the back of her thigh on his left shoulder, then moved his right hand up to press his thumb against her clit, moving it in gentle circles. She let out a long breath, tilting her torso so that she could watch as he licked his lips before moving in to kiss her sex.

"Ohhhh," she moaned under her breath as he did more than simply kiss her. His tongue pressed against her slit, his lips caressing her. He, for all intents and purposes, dove headfirst into it. Using every part of his mouth to pleasure her, he also continued to rub his thumb over her clit. She arched herself into his face, clenching her ass and gasping his name.

She didn't even know what to do. So she lifted her right hand up to press her fist into the back of the couch, closing her teeth over her left knuckles and whimpering. It just felt so good. And when he hummed deliciously into her center, she felt warmth flood through her, chills cascading over her entire body, and she clung to the cushion next to her hip with her left hand.

"Nnnng," she whined, her voice a little strangled.

He teased her entrance with his tongue, before gently guiding it inside of her, licking her inner walls as best he could.

"Ahh! Oh, God Chuck," she gasped, hitting her fist against the couch and arching into his mouth again.

Chuck pulled her closer then, burying his face even further in her crotch, starting to move his face back and forth quickly, sucking and licking, tasting her. Sarah moved her left hand and draped it over his head, unconsciously curling her fingers in his hair and giving him a little tug. He growled and she grit her teeth, hissing his name in need.

Nobody had ever done this before.

It was just so one-sided.

She'd never been with a man who cared to give her pleasure if he wasn't also getting it at the same time. The entire concept was totally unknown to her. She knew there were women out there who'd experienced oral pleasure, but had never even thought about it ever happening to her.

God, she'd been missing out. Then again, she was glad. She was glad this was her first time. Because it was Chuck and—"Oh God, yes! So good," she gasped. "Oh, it's so good."

It went on for such a long time, as he licked her all the way to the precipice of her finish before easing her back down again, and then to the edge, back a little, to the edge once more. It continued like this, Sarah gasping for breath, squirming. The toes of her left foot curled over the edge of the coffee table, and the toes of her right foot pressed against Chuck's back.

"God, Chuck. Oh, please," she breathed, looking down her body to watch him work. She slammed her head back against the cushion, arching her body up. She was at the edge again, and more than she'd ever wanted anything else in her life, she wanted him to let her topple over this time. She needed to feel it. "Please, I'm almost there," she whimpered. "Let me. Chuck, please," she begged.

He moved his hand so that he had two fingers pressed to her clitoris, and he started rubbing her quick and hard, moving his head up and down, his tongue lapping at her vigorously.

She moaned his name and arched her body again, crying out as her climax fell over her like a tidal wave. She took a couple of heavy breaths, tugging on his hair, her entire body clenched as the sensations crashed through her. It felt better than anything she'd ever felt in her life.

"Chuuuuuck." Her voice left her in a strangled outcry. "Oh God," she gasped, over and over again, letting her body fall back against the couch, trying so hard to catch her breath. Stars danced in her vision as she draped a hand over her forehead. "Oh my God."

She nearly whimpered as she felt his mouth move away from her, and the way the cool air against her wetness felt as he pulled back to rest on his haunches, gently easing her leg off of his shoulder and caressing her thigh with the backs of his fingers.

"Thank you," she breathed, without even knowing where it came from. That made her giggle deep in her chest, covering her face with both hands as she blushed.

He chuckled and she felt him climb up to the couch. He lifted her long legs, sat down next to her, draping them back over his lap, still moving his fingers over her soft, warm skin that was currently covered in goosebumps thanks to what he'd just done to her.

"You're welcome."

When Sarah felt she'd fully recovered from her short spell of shyness, she pushed her hands through her hair and let out a long breath, smiling and humming. "Angelique is missin' out."

That made him laugh, and she spotted the tinge of red in his cheeks as he looked down and squeezed her leg. "Well, I'm not sure about that. Like you said, she's probably gorgeous, and she's at a club in Nice on a Wednesday night. I think she'll be okay."

"Will you be okay?"

She didn't really know how that had come out of her mouth. Maybe the aftereffects of Chuck eating her out so determinedly that caused her lips to loosen, her filter to weaken.

He furrowed his brow and looked over at her curiously.

And she realized a little belatedly how intimate this was for two people who didn't really know one another very well. Sarah with her legs draped over his lap, asking about his well being and actually being completely sincere, the conversation that was potentially going to happen because of it. It was really intimate. And she squirmed a little at the realization, trying not to let it show on her face.

Chuck seemed to miss it, instead chewing his lip and looking at the coffee table thoughtfully.

"I just mean…" she continued. "Well, I don't know your sister. Will she be mad at you tomorrow for ignoring her?"

"Oh. Not sincerely, no. She'll needle me a little. But Awesome's usually got my back. He's…awesome like that." He smiled, mostly to himself. "Disclaimer: Ellie really isn't as bad as I'm making her sound. I mean, that whole stereotypical romantic comedy mom type of thing where she's trying to shove me into women's arms. Not that she hasn't set me up with people. She has. Trust me. And mostly because I asked her to. When I was desperate." He chuckled.

"And how'd that go?"

"I got to a second date with one of them, and then I let the inner nerd out, and date three was indefinitely postponed." Chuck looked a little embarrassed.

"Oh, come on. She was put off by that? Of all things?"

He swiveled to face her, looking offended. "Of all things?! Thanks a lot!"

She laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. Stop." Sarah knuckled his arm. "I just mean that's a shallow and silly reason not to want to date someone. Because they…" She paused then, tilting her head. "What exactly did you say? I mean, what was it that you think scared her off?"

Chuck was quiet for a few seconds, gnawing on his bottom lip thoughtfully, his eyes narrowed. And then he turned to look at her. "You don't really think I'm dumb enough to talk about it with you, do you?"

She was curious for a moment, until she caught his meaning and grinned. "Trying not to scare me off, too, is that it?"

"Um. Duh."

"Duh," she mocked quietly, smiling up at him still and reaching over to hook a finger in one of the belt loops of his pants. She didn't think anything of how affectionate of a gesture it was, instead focusing on Chuck. "Tell me."

"Nope. Not happening."

"I'm just gonna assume the worst, then."

"Go ahead and assume. It's not gonna be as bad as the truth, probably. And now I'm shutting up because I can see that curious glint in your eye just turned into a roaring fire."

That made her laugh. In fact, it was almost a cackle. And she gave the belt loop on his pants a teasing tug again. "Fine, I'm gonna assume your bed at home is in the shape of a race car. With round pillows that have a steering wheel pattern on them." She pursed her lips.

Chuck laughed sincerely, clapping his hand over her knee and leaning down a little closer to her. "Nope. But I have to admit, that does sound really cool."

Her laughter came straight from the center of her chest, and she found herself reveling in how happy it sounded. "You are a nerd."

"Never denied it."

"Fine, your bed is a pirate ship."

"Again, that sounds awesome. But no."

She screwed her face up thoughtfully. "Okay, I give up. Tell me."

Chuck just looked incredibly amused, and a touch impressed as well. "Wow, you're good." She put her best innocently confused look on her face. "You are so good. I didn't say I'd tell you if you couldn't guess. You just started guessing on your own. But if I were less bright, I would've fallen right into that trap you set for me."

Sarah preened a little. "Guess I underestimated you, Chuck."

"People always do." He held up his finger and pointed at her, winking.

"I'll do my best to never do it again." She paused. "So tell me. What'd you do that was so awfully nerdy?"

Chuck shook his head with a huff of laughter. "Only because I admire your determination, I'll tell you." Chuck paused dramatically. "I was telling her about how I got us a reservation at this restaurant downtown at such short notice. And I mentioned my DM was the chef."

Sarah blinked. "DM? Designated marksman?"

Chuck blinked this time. "Did you just…military lingo at me?"

Sarah blinked again. "Uhh." Shit! "I've watched a lot of history channel. So what?"

"No…nothing, I…wow."

"If it's not that, what is it?" she asked quickly, trying to push the idea of her being well-versed in "military lingo" out of his head indefinitely. She felt so stupid for letting that slip.

"Dungeon master."

"A…dungeon…master? Are you a part of some BDSM cult or something?"

"What?! No!"

"That's not exactly nerdy, Chuck, but I'm not gonna lie, it is a little…different."

"No! I'm not…not that kind of dungeon!" Sarah had a really hard time trying to keep from bursting into laughter. And when she sniffed in amusement, trying to turn her face to hide it, he seemed to finally figure out she was teasing. His face was entirely unamused. Although…maybe not entirely because his eyes were sparkling in mirth, even as he looked a touch embarrassed. "Haa haaa," he drawled, curling his lip at her as she giggled with her tongue between her teeth.

"What's a dungeon master?" she asked again, tugging his belt loop one more time.

"You really don't know?"

She shrugged a little shyly.

"Have you ever heard of Dungeons & Dragons?"

"Is it a movie? Because I'm not very good with pop culture. I've only seen a few really old things. Bits of movies here and there." There were times in the past when the assassin'd had a few hours to kill and had found herself wandering into a movie theater or two. But general movie knowledge escaped her completely.

"It isn't. No. It's more of a, um, it's a game. You get to be on a team with other players, you choose fantastical creatures with certain skill sets—say, a dwarf that's also a fighter or an elf that's a healer—and you go through these maps that your dungeon master creates. With a storyline he or she creates as well. There are dice. Um…"

Sarah just watched him as he explained, shrugging as his voice faded and he simply blinked at her.

"So this—this woman your sister set you up with…She didn't go on a third date with you because she found out you play this game?"

Chuck nodded slowly, almost gaping at her. She frowned a little in question and he shook his head. "Sorry, it's just…You really don't get just how much of a stigma goes with Dungeons & Dragons, do you?"

"A stigma? It's just a game, isn't it? What's the big deal?" She didn't understand why a person would legitimately stop seeing someone like Chuck of all people because he played a silly game. Stigma or not. Who the hell would let such a ridiculous thing make them dump a man like this?

He smiled a little, running his hand down her shin to her ankle and squeezing it. "I somehow like you a thousand times more than I did five minutes ago. That's saying something, Sarah Walker, because I already liked you quite a bit." She bit her lip to keep her bashfulness at his words from showing. She didn't like this shy Sarah so much, the one who blushed and ducked her head. It was too…real, maybe. She didn't know. It was just unsettling how easily he made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Dungeons & Dragons tends to have certain, erm, images that go along with it."

Sarah shook her head, ignoring the buzzing still lurking in her chest. "What images are we talking here?"

"A bunch of socially handicapped guys arguing over fate points, or which door to open, or which monster to attack first. Slobbering over the picture of the succubus in the Monster Manual."

"Succubus?" Sarah raised an eyebrow.

His eyes lit up just a tad as he turned to face her better. "They're female daemon who look like incredibly gorgeous human women except with wings and little horns. They can seduce even the lawful good into committing evil acts, and they can literally drain a player's experience level by kissing them. And I mean the Monster Manual—any D&D guide, really—is written and illustrated by dudes typically so of course the succubus is drawn like…" He held his hands out in front of his chest and she snorted.

"Pamela Anderson daemon with wings and horns, is what you're saying."

"Basically."

She marveled at him as he rattled off facts about this succubus creature from this game she'd never heard of. She wasn't sure if she was shocked by how big of a nerd he apparently was, or if she was impressed he knew this much. Perhaps the large-breasted drawings of the creature had beguiled him as well. He was a man. A good one, but still…one.

"Well. I don't know what exactly counts as being super nerdy, so I can't really judge the extent of nerdiness that goes along with playing a game like Dungeons & Dragons. Even if it was the nerdiest thing in the world, that's not gonna make me get up, put my gin-soaked pants on, and run back to my room. I don't know what that girl was smoking, but it wasn't anything good. Not if she passed up a date with a guy like you for something as idiotic as finding out you play a certain game with your friends." She tried to imagine him sitting at a table rolling dice with a bunch of men who looked similar to him, all wearing nerdy T-shirts and arguing over monsters and doors and…fate points, did he say? What were those? She didn't much want to ask even if she was curious. It was something she could always look up later.

"Honestly, I wasn't too bothered by it. For that reason. Maybe it's a little childish of me to play a game like that at my age, but it's more childish for her to not want to see me anymore because of it." He shrugged and she couldn't help but smile a little at him. He seemed to have such a strong sense of himself.

And yet, at other times, he seemed to stumble a bit, like he wasn't so sure after all.

He was so endearingly human.

"Playing that game isn't childish," she said easily. "It's nerdy. For sure. But I'm starting to think nerdy can be a really good thing."

Chuck let out a huff of amusement. "Really?"

He sounded pretty doubtful and she yearned to nip that in the bud. "Yes. Really. I mean, after all, you're a nerd, aren't you?"

He snorted. "Uh. No…Whatever gave you that idea?"

Sarah laughed and poked him in the belly with her toe, making him wrap his hand around her ankle to pull her foot a safe distance away. She giggled and tried to poke him with the other, but he caught that one, too, sending her a look.

"Hey, if you spend enough time around me, I'll probably end up making you a nerd, too," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Ha!" She scoffed. "There is no chance of me ever becoming a nerd, thanks. You can keep it."

That made him chuckle. "I thought you said you're starting to think nerdy can be a really good thing. Huh? Huuuh?"

Sarah pulled her legs out of his lap and swung them around to sit up properly on the couch, leaning in close and resting her elbow on the back of the couch behind him, propping her cheek on her palm.

"Because you make it that way. I wouldn't be able to wear it as well. Alas."

He chuckled again. "That's not true."

"It is!"

"No, you'd be an incredibly adorable nerd." He pointed to the game console and smiled quietly. "You dominated that game, Sarah. That was pretty nerdy."

"It's my nerd coach's influence."

"Nerd coach, huh? Is that a thing now?"

"Mhm. I can totally see you going to the nerd Olympics with your nerd team and coaching them to the gold medal of…nerddom."

He chortled, his head falling back. "That was prime nerd right there. What you just did? Nerd. You are a very capable nerd. I'd tag you to captain my nerd team."

Sarah just shook her head and laughed. "Keep dreaming, Chuck. Never gonna happen."

They met eyes and smirked similarly, before Sarah found herself wanting to just be close to him. Touch him. Something more intimate than this.

And because she wasn't altogether versed in intimacy, real intimacy, she did what came a little more naturally to her. She swung her leg over to straddle him and seduced him instead. This was easy. Kissing him, cupping his face, feeling the way his hands draped over her ass and slid up under his shirt that she wore.

This was easy. Reaching between them and undoing his pants, letting him hoist his body off of the couch enough to push his pants and boxers down to his thighs. It was so damn easy taking him in her fist and stroking him until he was hard enough for her to guide him inside of her.

Anything else would've been difficult. It wasn't easy, figuring out what to say and what to do, when it wasn't something like this. Sex. Letting her body talk for her. Pulling him under her spell, riding him gently at first, and then gyrating harder, faster. His voice in her ear, sighing her name as she started to buck in his lap, holding onto his shoulder.

His breath was hot against her neck, damp, panting breaths on her skin that only made everything feel that much better. She felt so good, in fact, that all Chuck had to do was slid his hand over her backside and squeeze, and she felt an orgasm roll through her. She powered through it, her body shivering in his arms, moaning into his hair, her eyes shut tightly. She just kept going, swinging her hips, pushing herself down into his lap, tightening her ass with each thrust.

Chuck's head fell back against the couch and he whimpered, his mouth opened, his face set in complete awe as she reached behind her to grab his hands from where they were fisting the shirt she wore, pulling his arms away and pinning his wrists against the couch on either side of his shoulders.

She leaned in closer and rode him even harder, spreading her knees against the cushions, giving the underside of his jaw an open-mouthed kiss that had him groaning her name. She could feel his chest rising and falling against her, his hands making fists, his hips thrusting up to meet her. There was something so desperate in the way he was moving against her, and she knew he was close.

So she slowed her thrusts, letting go of one of his hands and reaching down to grab his hip, stopping him from thrusting.

Sarah swiveled her body to sit straight up, looking down at him, cupping his face, her fingers playing with his ears and the curls around them. Biting her lip, forcing him to look into her face, she made quick, jerky figure 8s in his lap, letting him see how good it felt for her.

"Oh God," he whispered, his eyes sliding down her body to look down at her skillful thrusts. "You feel so good."

He slammed his head back again and winced this time as she heard the loud thunk of his skull meeting the corner of the couch back. She stopped and giggled, reaching behind his head to rub at the spot where he'd hit his head. "You okay?" she panted. She winced as she rubbed him. "Right there?"

"Mmmmmm, keep going." She rubbed a little more vigorously. "Not that," he said, teasingly leaning in to nip at her bottom lip. He bounced his hips up against hers playfully and she gasped, looking down at him with a special glint in her eye. "This," he whispered.

Sarah slowly closed her fist, catching a few of his curls, and she pulled, not hard enough to hurt him, but he did wince and purse his lips with a soft "ooo" that made her grin like an idiot.

And she swept in to kiss him, gyrating in his lap slowly, whimpering against his lips. He just held her, his fingers pressing into her skin at her hips, letting her do whatever she wanted to him. It gave her a feeling of power and confidence that little else in her life ever had.

Including standing over victims who'd fallen at her hand, knowing she was safe, knowing she'd survived another mission at the expense of yet another human being. Rarely was it a good human being, but still…

Her hips slowed, a hitch in her rhythm, and she suddenly pulled out of his kiss and dove in to bury her face in his neck. In spite of where she was, whose arms she was currently in, in spite of how safe she'd just felt in this situation a moment earlier, an irrational wave of fear swept through her and she clung tightly.

Before he could react, Sarah regained her senses. She was making love to a good man, in a safe space. But she couldn't push away the haunting realization that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve his strong and tender embrace, she didn't deserve the way he willingly handed her his time, his affection, his body. She didn't deserve the trust she felt in every last bit of him. His trust in her. In her humanity. In her intentions.

What were her intentions?

She felt his hands move up her body, and she felt him tense up. He had to know something was wrong.

And she didn't want him to see. She couldn't lie to him about something else. Not right now. She was much too vulnerable. So she distracted him in the only way she knew how.

She doubled down on her efforts, hugging him tightly and riding him with a newfound vigor that had him gasping, clinging to her, her name on his lips.

They came together, lips smashing together, their bodies arching off of the couch, Sarah feeling desperate, needing to get the despicable thoughts tingeing this experience out of her head before she went mad.

Gasping for breath, still reeling from everything, including the ecstasy still buzzing in her body, making her lips feel numb even, Sarah thought she'd misheard Chuck for a moment when his voice sounded in her ear. But she didn't. Because he repeated himself."You're wonderful," he panted. "God, Sarah Walker, you are wonderful."

Sarah buried her face further in his neck and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, doing her best to will away the fear. Was she truly this awful of a human being that she lied to and manipulated even the best of people? Someone like Chuck Bartowski who wasn't bad or evil, and hadn't a single wicked bone in his body.

She felt so selfish, as she fought off the cold that assailed her by cuddling deeper into his warmth. And even as she carefully eased him out of her, she stayed there against him, knowing if she darted out of here as fast as she wanted to, it would hurt him. She didn't want to hurt him. She just wanted to be with him.

And it was selfish.

He thought she was wonderful. He was so damn wrong. If only he knew how wrong he was, he'd be the one darting away.

So she stayed for some time, her face pressed against his collarbone, letting him think it was a comfortable silence between them, forcing herself to be loose and content in his arms when she felt so tense. She was fucking up in the worst possible way with him.

But part of her stayed grounded, part of her was doing its best to remind her that it wasn't all lies that had drawn him in. There'd been so many truths. Not even once had her mirth, happiness, laughter been faked or put upon with Chuck. It was all sincere. The things she said in his presence weren't baseless compliments or ways to draw him into a web of deceit, to draw him further under her spell… It was all her.

And maybe that was even scarier. How real this all was.

It was enough to calm her down, however. And she clung to it almost as tightly as she clung to him.

Until finally she had enough control to pull back and smile at him, making sure it reached her eyes. She climbed up from his lap, sure her clothes were dry enough now. And she slid her panties and jeans up her legs.

"Keep the T-shirt for now," he said as he stood up and fixed his pants back up over his hips, tucking himself back inside and zipping them up. When she still made to take it off, he gave her a look. "I insist. Really."

"Oh. Okay."

"I'll get it from you later." He didn't seem worried in the slightest, like he knew there was another day ahead in which he'd see her. And it hurt. She felt stupid but it just hurt. What had she done, making him fully content to rely on this? On them? On her?

God, she felt like such a piece of shit as she went to his door.

But then his fingers lightly curled around hers and he turned her back towards him.

The kiss he gave her laved the sting of the last few minutes a bit. It was a reminder that he saw something inside of her, something that wasn't a lie, something that wasn't a mask or an act. Something she hadn't meant to show him. And whatever it was, he genuinely liked her.

She had to keep that in her head as she went back to her own room, taking the stairs so that she didn't have to stand in an elevator and think for a full minute and a half or whatever.

She forced herself to remember he liked her. Her. Not some character she was playing. For the first time in the assassin's life, she was showing her true colors for the most part, and they were being admired, maybe even understood on a deeper level. And by a very, very good man.

Chuck texted her right as she got into her own room. And she shut the door behind her, leaning back against it as she glanced at his message. Just a simple "Goodnight" that had something in her chest fluttering.

She responded in kind, adding in a cheeky "Thanks for the shirt". But she barely caught herself before she added "I'll treasure it always", deleting that last part before hitting send.

That thought made her think about a few weeks from now, when she'd be climbing on a plane to…somewhere. Sarah didn't know where. And Chuck? He'd only be a figment of her past. Something—someone important that had happened to her. But she didn't want to think like that. She couldn't think like that. She was already close to going down another spiral. She didn't need another spiral to add onto that spiral.

Working with the CIA, she'd learned that the future wasn't always something a person could count on. She knew that better than most, since she was the one that usually deprived people of their futures. Assassins tended not to be overly sentimental.

With that thought in mind, she let herself look at Chuck's response for a few minutes as she took her pants off and crawled into her own bed, curling up and smiling a little. "Oh, anytime." She could even hear him saying it in his voice.

And she finally fell asleep with that voice in her head, a small smile on her lips in spite of the worried crease in her brow, her phone slipping out of her fingers and thumping onto the mattress.

I just want to say a little something about Sarah Walker. I've seen other authors delve deep into her psyche in really effective ways and that's what I'm trying to do with this story, as well. Do it in an effective way. She's had such a terrible past in canon and in this AU as well. And there are a lot of things that are truly ugly inside of her-disgust in herself and what she's had to do, for instance, a lack of trust in her own humanity, etc. A few of you PM'd me and said it was tiresome reading about Sarah being so emotionally convoluted all the time, and that her emotional swings from enjoying Chuck and being happy to remembering who she is and what she does for a living are too much.

While I truly appreciate how deeply some of you are delving into the story, enough to have a few long chats with me, I have to say, I'm going to continue to explore Sarah's emotions. And she will be swinging every which way. Because that's what humans do. That's part of what makes her such a deep character in the show. She's constantly dismissing just how real and human she is, even as her inner battles encapsulate what it means to be human. She's my favorite. So much fun to write.

And I hope you all continue to interact with her and with me as the story continues. You know there's more Chuck stuff coming too, even though this story isn't in his POV.

Thanks to everyone for reading. I really appreciate it! I'd love reviews and messages!

SarahsSupplyCloset