Kindred Judgment part 4

Tarrion woke up to the smell of grass. He tried to open his eyes, but he knew not how. He only felt his hands lying on something soft, when he thought about them. He breathed in deeply and tasted the scent of something nice, and cool. He tried to get up, but it was as if he needed to find out how his body worked. He lay on his chest and now also felt the soft touch of grass on his face.

Finally he was able to open his eyes, and he saw a field in front of him. A slight breeze made the grass wave gently back and forth, and he saw the slopes of grey mountains in the distance, and eternal snow covered the peaks. A gentle touch of the grass made him realize he was somewhere peaceful.

He tried to force himself up, and his entire body started to hurt, like his muscles were never used before, which he found strange. He found himself wearing nothing, but for some reason, he did not mind. He got up and sat on the grass, and looked around. On all sides he was surrounded by plains filled with green grass, and it waved in the breeze. He saw mountains around him, but the mountains in front of him, were lower, and he saw a pass leading between two high peaks. Behind him the mountains encircled him, and he thought that he had to go through the pass. As he tried to get up, he found his legs hurting, like he had never used them before.

As he looked at his own hands, feet, arms and legs, he saw that there was nothing about them that seemed off. He saw that he was muscular, and a few veins were visible on his arms, and his legs looked strong, and the pain he had felt before was gone now. His body was completely naked, but he saw that he was alone, and only the wind made a sound. He saw his large chest, and felt that he had a slight beard.

"Where am i?" he asked himself. "What is this place?"

Slowly he started to walk toward the mountain pass. The grass tickled his legs, but was not sharp on his feet. The more he walked, the higher the grass came, until it reached over his waist, yet he hardly seemed to feel it. It simply waved past him, gently stroking past his waist and legs.

After what seemed like only a short walk, he reached the pass, and saw that the path was even, and the grass flowed through it like a green river. A gentle breeze came from the other end, and Tarrion walked through it, looking up to the mountainous walls and the sky. The sky was clear, and not a single cloud was to be seen, and the stars shone clear, but the night had not fallen. Every nook and area where Tarrion looked seemed to be illuminated by itself, and there were no shadows. Everything about this place seemed strangely familiar, and yet he could not understand why.

After another short walk, or maybe it was a long hike, he did not know, he came out the other end of the pass. More fields, meadows and hills were ahead, and far in the distance, he saw a city. He saw that it was made from white stone, and it was high, but it was too far to see it clearly. As he walked ahead he saw someone sitting on a large rock. It was a woman, and she had long black hair that reached over her shoulders. A slight golden glow came from her, and it made the rock look pale. She sat there motionless, like she was meditating, and Tarrion saw that she was wearing armour.

The woman apparently heard him coming, because she turned around when he neared her. She stood up and jumped off the rock, and walked toward him, with a gentle smile on her face. There was something about her that seemed familiar and just like this place itself, Tarrion felt that he had seen her before. The woman apparently recognized him too, because her smile faded and she stopped walking toward him. She stared at him for a few moments, but then she laughed and ran toward him. Her long, black hair waved behind her as she shouted his name.

"Tarrion!"

He still felt confused by the feel of this place, and he was surprised that she recognized him, even though she seemed familiar to him.

When she was right in front of him she jumped around his neck, like he was a long lost friend, and he fell backwards with her on top of him. She laughed and looked at him, and as he saw her brown eyes, he remembered who she was.

"Katria?"

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm so happy to see you again." she said to him, and her smile was perfect. He felt a slight smile on his face as well, and yet he still understood nothing of it all. He remembered who Katria was, but he also knew that there was something different about her… something he did not remember.

Katria climbed off him and helped him up, and suddenly she looked surprised.

"You… you're naked…" she said, and she held her hand over her mouth, and Tarrion saw her face turn red when her eyes glanced down.

"…Yes…" Tarrion said, still confused. "It would seem so." And despite that he was naked in front of a woman, he felt not embarrassed.

"I'm sorry…" Katria said, and she blushed. "I… I know I'm not supposed to be happy that you're here, but…. But I still am."

"You're not supposed to be happy?... How so?"

"Well… you being here…. That means you're dead."

Tarrion felt only confused, but not shocked. He was dead?

"I'm sorry." Katria said. "I forgot… everyone is always a bit confused when they come here. But don't worry, that will pass. They always ask me where they are, and then I direct them that way." and she pointed at the city in the distance.

"So… where am I then?"

"Where do you think?" she asked smilingly. "You're in Sovngarde."

And suddenly Tarrion remembered why he recognized everything here. He had seen it before, when he used the portal in Skuldafn to get here and fight Alduin. His eyes opened wide, and he started to look around. He started to remember more and more of everything he saw, and he remembered Katria more as well. He saw the city in the distance, and realized it was not a city at all. It was Shor's Hall, and he now even saw a small part of the massive bridge made from massive bones, rumoured to come from a Leviathan. He saw the plains outside Shor's Hall and even the place where he killed Alduin and where he was send back.

He also remembered Katria. How he helped her find peace by finding the Atherium Forge. How her ghost spoke to him in Arkngthamz, and how she told him of how she died. Of how she was unable to find peace until she proved that she could find the Forge. He remembered her.

"I see you're still a bit confused." Katria said, and Tarrion nodded.. "But you start to remember more things, right? Well, I shall ask you more, and then things will start to come back."

Tarrion nodded again, and walked to one of the large boulders and Katria walked behind him. But when Tarrion climbed on the rock, Katria hesitated. The grass had covered Tarrion's waist, but now he stood higher than the grass.

"Ehh.. Tarrion?" she stammered, and she blushed again. "Are you sure… you eh… don't want to… you know… sit in the grass? I mean… to, ehh.. cover your… well… your delicacies?"

But Tarrion ignored her and sat down and crossed his legs. The rock did not feel cold on his skin. It actually felt warm and comfortably soft… much softer than Tarrion would have expected. Katria climbed up and sat next to him. It was quite clear that she felt a bit uncomfortable with Tarrion sitting naked next to her, but he did not mind. Whether this was because he was in Sovngarde, he did not know.

"So…" Katria started. "What do you remember before you died?"

Tarrion scratched his head and tried to think.

"I… I'm not sure… I think I fought someone. But I don't remember who he was. But why are you wearing armour, and am I naked?"

"Because I died while I was wearing this." Katria said. "Remember? You saw my body… and when you searched my for my journal, I asked you to not search every part of me.

"Oh… yes…. I remember. So I died while I was naked?"

"Apparently…" and Katria blushed again and smiled. "I have to wonder who you had to fight, while not wearing any armour… or anything for that matter."

"Yea…. Me too…"

"Alright…" Katria said. "so you were killed… he must have been powerful. But do you remember why you fought him? Or what he looked like?"

"I… think he was an evil man…. But he wasn't exactly a man… I mean, he wasn't really human. He had… grey skin, and… wings. Bat-like wings, and a… monstrous face."

Tarrion started to get a clearer picture of what he remembered. He saw indeed a large, monstrous figure standing in front of him, with large fangs, and claws for hands and feet. Then suddenly he remembered.

"He was a Vampire!" Tarrion shouted.

"A Vampire?" Katria asked. "Are you sure? They look just like humans, right?"

"Yes, but this one was different. He was a powerful Vampire, and when I fought him, he had transformed himself…. Kind of like how a Werewolf transforms, but instead of a monstrous wolf, he became a monstrous bat. And I now also remember his name! It was Harkon!"

Tarrion felt his head hurt. The sudden memories that now returned started to ravage his head, and he grabbed his head.

"Are you alright?" he heard Katria ask.

"Yes… I'm fine. Just the memories start to come back. I think I was killed by this Harkon, but something doesn't make sense. I remember that I saw him die. A golden arrow pierced his heart, and he reached out to someone… but I couldn't see who. But I… I remember that he said something…."

"What did he say?" Katria seemed more interested, and she stared at him. her brown eyes were fixed on him and he closed his eyes, trying to remember it.

"I think he said…. 'No… Serana… your own father'…"

"Who is this Serana?"

"I'm not sure…. I think she was…" but then he shouted in pain. All the memories of his past actions came back, and he grunted in pain and fell on his back. Everything he had done in the last week came back to him and he saw who Serana was.

She was the daughter of Harkon, and she had helped Tarrion fight him. She was not like any other Vampire. He remembered the travels he had made with her, the things they had done together… and he remembered that he loved her. He remembered that night at Fort Dawnguard… how she grabbed him for a long kiss, and how he had run his hands over her back. He remembered that moment in Ancestor Glade, when they admitted to each other what they felt.

"Tarrion!"

Katria stood over him and she looked him in his eyes. She had a scared look on her face, and Tarrion sat up straight.

"Serana…" he whispered to himself. "She… I loved her… I still love her."

He looked at Katria and he felt himself become scared.

"You loved a Vampire?" Katria asked him.

"Yes… she is unlike any other Vampire. I travelled with her, and I…."

He could not find the words, and he stared at his hands. He remembered everything, and how he had made her a promise.

"I promised her that I would not leave her alone." he said, and he felt tears in his eyes. The pain of her loss to him ripped his heart apart, and even in a place like Sovngarde, he felt the pain as a physical hurt in his body. "I promised her… 'even if all the armies of Oblivion would stand between us'…"

Katria looked at him and she lay her hand on his shoulder. "She must be someone special."

"Very special." Tarrion said. "She… I love her. Does that say enough?" and Katria nodded.

Tarrion could no longer sit on the rock and he jumped off and started to walk through the grass.

"I gave her my word that I would never leave her. And I intent to keep that promise…. Not just because I promised it, but because I want to stay with her… I…. I don't want to be here."

Katria lowered herself off the rock and walked to him. "I'm afraid that not even the Dragonborn can defeat Death. You died Tarrion…. And that is not your fault."

"You don't understand!" Tarrion said to her and he looked at her with desperation in his eyes. "I love her more than anything in the world…. More than this place…" and he sighed. "Have you ever felt something like that for anyone?"

Katria opened her mouth, but said nothing and closed it again. She shook her head.

Tarrion felt a tear crawling down his cheek, and he knew that he would never find peace here. He knew that not even Sovngarde could give him peace. He sighed and fell to his knees. The grass now stroke past his shoulders and face, but it was no longer a soft, gentle touch. It now felt irritating and Tarrion could no longer see the beauty of it. Katria kneeled in front of him and looked at him.

"I'm sorry…. But… maybe… just maybe… Tsun can help."

"Tsun?" Tarrion asked.

"Yes, you don't remember him? He send you back last time too, right? Maybe he can help you again?"

Tarrion looked at her, and in her brown eyes he saw pity. He remembered Tsun from when he defeated Alduin, and Tsun had send him back after the battle.

"I mean…. It doesn't hurt to try." He heard Katria say. "Maybe he can-"

But Tarrion grabbed her and pressed her against him. She had given him hope and he hugged her. Her hair stroke past his chin.

"Ehh, Tarrion… your ehh… I can feel…. My leg is touching you on your…."

Tarrion let her go, and he saw that her face had become red again, and he smiled.

"Thank you for telling me this…. Thank you for giving me hope."

"Ah, well… it was nothing." She stammered and she blushed more.

Together they ran over the fields and meadows of Sovngarde, and neither of them felt any fatigue, or their muscles becoming weary. Katria ran next to Tarrion and she remembered the time when she was alive. The time when she an Tarrion were searching for the Forge and the grand adventure that it was, and she felt better than she had felt in ages.

They reached the bone bridge that lead to Shor's Hall and Tsun stood watch. He saw them running toward him and he recognized them both.

"Welcome, Katria." he said with his deep voice. "You have already proven yourself, and you have free entry to the Hall."

And he turned to Tarrion. "And you have proven yourself tenfold already, Tarrion. You have but to ask, and I will be honoured to test you once more. But I see that you come for a different reason."

"Yes," Tarrion said. "I need to ask you to send me back."

Tsun's face changed, from happy to surprised, and then to sad. "I am sorry, Tarrion… but I cannot. I have sent you back once already, and I cannot return the dead. The first time you were still living, when you entered Sovngarde, but now… you are as all who are here. You no longer belong on Nirn."

"You don't understand." Tarrion tried to explain. "I have to go back, and you have to send me back… I left someone on Nirn, whom I love deeply. I have to go back to her."

"As I said, Tarrion. I cannot. I am forbidden to do so, by decree of Shor-"

"Then Shor is wrong!"

Tarrion shouted, and his voice echoed over the calm plains of Sovngarde. He felt anger boil up.

"I have saved the souls of all mortals!" he said. "I have killed Alduin, and freed Sovngarde itself! Without me nobody would be able to enter the Hall of Valor… without me the souls of all mortals would be lost. Both Men and Elves and Orcs alike. All of them!"

Tsun stood in silence, and he looked at Tarrion. His calm face had faded, and he now saw an enraged Dragonborn standing in front of him, and he knew that this was the one that destroyed Alduin. Katria now also looked at Tarrion, and a slight expression of fear was on her face.

"I never asked for anything in return!" Tarrion continued. "You send me back once, indeed, but I never died! So I did not belong here in Sovngarde, and you know that! All of Sovngarde owes me…. All of Nirn owes me, and yet I never asked for anything in return! Now I do; Send me back!"

Tarrion felt the anger course through him, and he knew why. The thought of never seeing Serana again was driving him mad, and he would do anything to make sure that never happened. He knew there had to be a way to return to the living, and he knew that Tsun was the only one that might know a way.

Tsun had remained silent. All of Sovngarde had remained silent, and even the wind had died. The stars still shone, but they now seemed cold, and distant. Tarrion heard a deep rumble coming from the mountains behind him and for a moment he was afraid.

Tsun took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. He seemed to think, or listen for a few moments, and then he nodded and sighed.

"Very well then." and he turned to Tarrion. "You have drawn the attention of someone else, and He would like to speak to you. Walk back to where you woke up. He awaits you there."

Tarrion looked at Tsun for a few moments, and he saw that he did not smile. Like it was not a good thing what Tarrion had to do. Nonetheless, Tarrion turned around and walked back. Katria wanted to follow him, but Tsun forbade her.

"This is for him alone, Katria. You cannot accompany him."

And so she stayed behind and Tarrion now walked back through the high grass and back to the mountain pass. The grass now no longer stroke his legs, but it felt wrong, and it stung. The stars seemed cold and distant and the wind had died out. He knew not what would happen, or who he would meet, but he knew that whoever it was that he would meet, he was powerful.

After he passed through the pass, he arrived back at where he woke up. Nothing about the place had changed, and yet Tarrion felt something else. A deep cold, and yet it was not a freezing cold. It touched his skin, but he felt warm inside, and slowly, without Tarrion noticing it, a slight fog surrounded him.

"It seems you do not like this place."

A voice sounded behind Tarrion, and it was a deep voice. Tarrion turned around and saw someone unlike any other man he had ever met.

The man looked like he was old beyond the count of years, and yet his face was young. He had a long white beard, and white hair came from under a helmet. The helmet was shaped like a wolfs-head and Tarrion saw its fur move in the breeze that now blew again. The man was tall, taller than Tarrion and looked down on him, but his eyes were not kind. He looked fiercely at Tarrion, like a father would look at his disobeying child. The man was wearing silver armour, with a long, grey cloak made from wolf-pelts. A large sword hung from his waist and he held a staff in his hand.

Tarrion stared at the man, and he did not know what to say, but before he even thought about what he would say, the man spoke again.

"I have built this place for any and all, and not since the beginning of the world has anyone turned his back on it. You have lived your life in Nirn, the life that only exists because of Me, and yet you dare to ask for more?"

His voice was pure power, and Tarrion felt the ground shake at every word. The man looked down on Tarrion, and seemed to be angry.

"How dare you? You want to go back to your mortal life, to someone who is not even alive! You speak of her as if she were human, but she is not, and you know this. She will never be human again, and yet you want to go back. I have seen many brave fools walk the World, but I think you are the worst."

"Then you are mistaken."

Tarrion's voice sounded small and petty compared to the man's voice, but he was not about to be scorned like a child. And every word the man said about Serana, seemed to anger Tarrion, no matter who he was.

"You are wrong in saying that she is not alive. Yes, she is a Vampire, but she cares more than anyone else I have ever met, and I am not about to justify my love for her to someone who has no idea of who she is."

"How dare you!" the man shouted, and he struck his staff on the ground and the whole of Sovngarde quacked at the impact.

"No mortal has ever spoken out against me! You are a fool, Tarrion Dovahsebrom, and you no longer deserve to be alive! You will not return."

"And this place will never be my home!" Tarrion shouted back. "I don't know who you are, but I do not care. You do not know of who I am, who she is, nor of what I feel for her. And if you think that this place can replace my love for her… than you are the fool!"

The man said nothing as Tarrion shouted those last words, but his eyes flared with anger. It was clear that the man was about to burst in anger and fury, but right before that happened, a slight and cool breeze came blowing over the plains, and the man calmed down. Tarrion suddenly felt the pain of his loss course through him and he fell to his knees, and for the first time in his entire life, he wept openly. Tears rolled from his eyes, and dripped on the ground as he was kneeling in front of the man. His entire body shook uncontrollably and he felt only grief. His anger had disappeared like snow in the sun, and the only thing that was left was grief and loss.

The man now looked at Tarrion, and he no longer saw a stubborn child. He saw a man, who had just lost the thing he cared for most. The breeze had calmed him, but it was the sight of Tarrion weeping for his lost love, that made him feel pity.

"Please…. I beg you…" Tarrion pleaded while the tears still crawled over his face. "Whether by your will or not…. There is no place, in Mundus or beyond, that can stop my longing to go back to her. There is no place that can bear me hence… from her."

The man had stood in silence thus far, but now he moved. He looked up to the sky and felt the breeze in his beard, and he smiled slightly. He nodded.

"You mortals have always fascinated me." he said and his voice had become kind. "You were made by us, and yet you are so different from us. The way that mortals love… it is something that even we will never fully understand."

The man sighed, and Tarrion looked up and thought about what the man had said. 'You were made by us' and his eyes opened wide.

"I have decided." the man said before Tarrion could react. "You were right when you said to Tsun that you have never asked for a reward for saving the souls of the mortals. You were right that both all of Sovngarde, and all of Nirn, owes you thanks…. And for that reason, and for the love you feel for her… I will send you back."

Tarrion's eyes opened ever wider, but the man started to fade away, as did all of Sovngarde, and a deep white mist enveloped him. He heard only the voice of the man echo through his head.

"I will give you this one reward… the only reward you shall receive from me. And be careful, Tarrion Dovahsebrom…. For the next time you die…. there will be no return."

NAHL DAL VUS

=End of Chapter=

=Author's Notes=

That is the second chapter with a fade-to-black…. Or in this case a fade-to-white, but oh well. I hope you liked it, and it turns out, this is not the last chapter. There will be one last chapter to wrap up this arc, and then we're done.

Who or what this man is, some of you might have guessed it already, but more will be explained in the next chapter. I do hope you sat through it, with all that gibberish and talking and feeling and weird stuff that happens. Tarrion walking around, completely nude and all might have been weird, but whatever.

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

Dragon Language Used:

Dovahsebrom: Dragon of the North (I kinda use it almost as Tarrion's last-name. But you can say it is his title)

NAHL DAL VUS: Living Return Nirn (the Shout Tsun used to send you back after you killed Alduin)

Characters:

Katria: Nord woman whose ghost you meet during the quest 'Lost to the Ages'. Nice woman, and I always feel a bit sad when she finds peace…

Tsun: Nord God of trials and the 'gatekeeper' to Shor's Hall of Valor. You must pass the Warrior's Test (defeating him in combat) to enter. He also sends you back to Nirn after you kill Alduin and gives you an extra shout.