Please let me know what you guys think. I desperately need to know if this is the direction I should be taking. Reviews are always appreciated...thanks for reading.

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"I think we're done for the day" Clint said, reaching his hand out to help me up from the mat. I had been distracted ever since Bucky had dropped by earlier and it was showing. He had knocked me on my ass over and over again. I groaned as he tugged on my arm and got me standing on my feet…we had been sparring for nearly two hours. It was Friday but Clint said he didn't have anything else to do so he stayed an extra hour to show me a few more advanced moves.

"I feel like I just got hit by a truck….again" I groaned.

Clint snickered, "You seemed a little off today…I don't suppose that has anything to do with your super soldier boyfriend's visit earlier, huh?"

I felt my cheeks flush, "Maybe…we still haven't even talked about anything yet. Thanks for calling Steve yesterday and explaining to him…he talked to Bucky and it seemed to really help calm him down"

Clint nodded his head, "No problem, I figured he would go talk to Steve…I'm hoping Bucky and I can get back on good terms. I respect the hell out of him…and it would be nice not to have to worry about him beating my ass into the ground" he finished with a smile.

"I'll make him understand…we're supposed to talk as soon as he gets done with his trainee's today" I said.

Clint looked down at his watch, "It's already 1:15…he's usually done by 2:00. I can walk you over to their training area so the two of you can ride home together. I'll wait for you if you want to go shower"

"You don't mind? I mean, I've already taken up an extra hour of your day…and it's Friday. I'm sure you have better things to do" I said to him.

He shook his head, "No….go take your shower. I'll meet you back here in 15 minutes"

"Thanks Clint" I said, giving him a quick hug.

He laughed and pushed me away jokingly, turning his head to look towards the door, "You better cut that out. I'm trying to get back in Bucky's good graces. I don't think he would appreciate me hugging on his girl"

I laughed at him as I walked towards the small locker room to take a quick shower. Once I was done, I braided my wet hair and put my regular clothes back on...Clint was still patiently waiting for me. He led me quietly through the SHIELD facility towards the training room Bucky always used. When we reached the room, Clint quietly opened the door and let me step in first. Bucky was watching his two students fighting on the mat and calling out instructions to them as they went. He had his armed folded across his chest as he walked around the mat observing each of their techniques. He finally realized we were standing there and called out for them to keep going before he made his way over to us.

I felt Clint tense up next to me but I nudged his shoulder with my own…when he glanced over at me, I gave him a reassuring smile.

Once he reached us, Bucky didn't look my way…he kept his eyes completely focused on Clint. I didn't see any anger in his eyes so I relaxed some and waited for one of them to speak.

Bucky spoke up first, "She is everything to me" he said softly. It wasn't the apology I hoped he would give Clint but I knew that was his way of saying he was sorry. I lowered my head and smiled at hearing Bucky say those words. I had already known it but it was still nice to hear him say it out loud.

"That's why I did it. I swore to Steve I would help him protect you…both of you. When she asked me to help her, I couldn't say no…I knew she needed to know how to take care of herself" Clint said glancing my way before lowering his voice, "…especially now"

Why would Bucky need protection? What the hell is going on?

Calm down Eden! Bucky said we would talk…he's going to tell you what is going on.

Bucky looked at me warily and then nodded his head at Clint, "Thank you…for everything"

He reached out and shook Clint's hand and then patted him on the shoulder.

Clint let out a small sigh of relief, "She's a natural Bucky…she surprised the shit out of me those first couple of days. I've never seen anything like it. With enough training, she could be as good as Nat"

My smile widened at Clint's compliment. He had always seemed impressed, right from the beginning, but I had never dreamed he thought I could ever be skilled enough to rival Natasha.

Bucky looked over at me proudly, "That's my girl…always full of surprises"

Clint chuckled and looked down at this watch, "Well, I need to be going. Nat is supposed to checking in this afternoon with an update and I need to stop by and see Director Fury" I noticed Bucky give him a look and Clint quickly continued, "I'll let you know if she has any news"

Clint gave me quick smile before turning to leave the room. I glanced over at Bucky, suddenly feeling nervous being left alone with him. I knew there were still things that needed to be discussed…apologies that needed to be said. Not to mention that I needed him to tell me what he had been keeping from me too.

I was more than a little surprised when Bucky turned to me with a smirk on his face, "You missed me so much that you couldn't wait until I came home to see me again?"

That one comment made the anxiety I was feeling go away and I grinned at him, "Watch it Sergeant Barnes! You heard what Clint said, I'm a natural. You should remember that every time you tease and pick on me now or I'll have to show you everything I've learned the last two and a half weeks"

He stepped closer to me and put one hand on my hip, drawing me in to him before leaning in to say, "Is that a promise?"

I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally and gave him a sly smile, "Maybe"

He stared down at me and his smile faltered a little, "We still have a lot to talk about. I'm sure you know that there is something I have been keeping from you too. I'm hoping you'll react better than I did. I was a complete asshole Eden….a big, jealous asshole."

I took his hand, "Well is your secret going to make me a jealous asshole"

He shook his head, "No…but I shouldn't have kept it from you" He put his hand out to stop me when he saw me open my mouth to ask what it was he had been keeping a secret, "Let me finish up here and then we can go get lunch and talk"

I nodded my head and leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He pulled back in surprise…I tilted my head at him and smiled, "I love you Bucky. There is nothing you could tell me that I wouldn't be able to forgive you for"

He started to speak but a female voice suddenly interrupted him, "Sergeant Barnes! We need you over here" Bucky and I both looked over to see Christine standing there with her hand on her hip, smiling over at Bucky and beckoning at him with her finger.

I looked back at Bucky with a look of disgust on my face, "…well, almost nothing. I really don't like her…just make sure whatever it is you're going to tell me has nothing to do with Christine"

He smirked and caught Christine's eye before pulling me into his arms and kissing me deeply. A warm flush of desire flowed through me, all the way down to my toes. When he finally pulled away, I was left breathless.

"Give me 30 minutes and then we can leave" he said before turning back to his students. I couldn't help but stare at his ass as he sauntered away…he just oozed sex appeal. He threw a look over his shoulder and caught me staring and let out a chuckle.

My eyes settled on Christine and I glared at her as she too stared at my boyfriend's ass. Bucky motioned for Roland to step on the mat so he could work with him. It was warm in the training room and I could see that the two of them were sweating heavily as they exchanged practice blows. I stepped closer to the mat to watch them and caught Bucky's attention…he smiled at me but kept moving around the mat, critiquing Roland as they moved back and forth. At one point, Bucky knocked Roland down on the mat and while the young man lay there catching his breath, Bucky reached down and pulled his shirt up over this head and used it to wipe his sweaty face before throwing it in my direction.

I looked down where it landed, only a few feet away from me, and then back up to him. He reached a hand down to help Roland and I watched as the muscles in his arm and torso flexed as he pulled him up. His bare chest was sweaty and heaved up and down as he breathed deeply. I swallowed hard, shaking my head at him when he cocked an eyebrow at me and gave me a cheeky smile.

Holy shit! I swear he did that on purpose.

I bent down and picked up Bucky's shirt and then glanced over at Christine. I saw the lustful look in her eyes and I clenched my fists tight when I saw her lick her lips as she stared at Bucky. I sneered at her and then turned back to watch Bucky and Roland. I was concentrating so hard on watching them that I didn't even notice she had made her way over to me. I tried to ignore her and focus entirely on the intense look on Bucky's face as he practiced with Roland. I loved watching him in action…his passion as he fought was such a damn turn on.

"How long do you think it will take before I finally get what I want?" I heard her say quietly so only I could hear. I saw Bucky frowning and knew he had noticed her now standing next to me talking.

I tightened my lips but stared straight ahead, still watching him, "What exactly is it you want?" I finally asked. I already knew the answer but I wanted to hear her say it out loud….I needed a reason to lay hands on her.

She snorted and let her eyes fall on Bucky's bare chest…I saw her nostrils flare and she nodded in his direction, "I just need one night with him" I inhaled sharply as she continued watching Bucky fight…he had pulled one of the practice knives out and was flipping it around in his hand as he pursued Roland around the mat. "Hmm, scratch that, I may need two" she said.

Don't do it Eden…don't hit her.

I bit my tongue and felt the anger wash over me…I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to calm myself down. I stayed silent and she didn't say anything for a few minutes.

I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me...being ignored must have been frustrating, she finally spit out, "Tell me Eden, does he fuck with the same intensity as he fights?"

Too far bitch!

I opened my eyes finally…Bucky and Roland had stepped off the mat and were now on the other side of the room…Roland was talking to Bucky about something but he had his eyes fixated on me.

I knew by the look on Bucky's face that my eyes were on fire…that silent rage had set in. He mumbled something to Roland then started walking towards us slowly. I turned away from him and faced her finally…she had noticed Bucky making his way over and knew it was time to retreat.

I reach out to grab her wrist and squeezed it tightly before pulling her back me. I knew I only had seconds before Bucky reached us so I quickly leaned over and whispered in here ear, "Are you willing to die for a good fuck?" Her mouth dropped open and she tried to pull away but I kept talking, "You keep this shit up and I will end you bitch! Now be a good girl and fuck off"

She was still trying to pull away when I suddenly released her. She stumbled back but managed not to fall…her hand went to her wrist, she rubbed it and scowled at me. She opened her mouth for what I'm sure would have been an excellent retort but Bucky had arrived and was glaring at her, "You and Roland are dismissed. Get the hell out of here"

She nodded her head at him, "Yes sir" She turned towards me and narrowed her eyes but Bucky loudly said, "Leave…now!"

I threw a quick wave in her direction, "Bye Christine…enjoy your weekend" I said, throwing her my sweetest smile.

I heard her mutter something under her breath…I couldn't be sure but it sounded like she said, "Crazy bitch"

I peered up at Bucky and saw the look of anger on his face; he opened his mouth to speak but stopped when I laid my hand on his chest. He looked down at me and I shook my head, "I'm pretty sure I deserved that comment"

He grunted, "Want to tell me what that was all about?"

"Nope, not really…go take a shower so we can get out of here" I told him, "Seriously, I'm hungry…go shower" I said when he didn't move.

He sighed deeply but then smiled at me, "Come keep me company" he said, motioning towards the locker room.

I lifted one eyebrow at him and he laughed, "I'm not asking you to shower with me…just come talk to me"

"Just talking" I said firmly. He smiled as I took his hand and let him lead the way. Roland and Christine had both left so he locked the door behind us so no one else could walk in.

The men's shower room had no separate stalls…it was completely open. Bucky laid his duffel bag on the bench that was directly in front of the entrance to the showers. I sat down next to it and watched as he opened one of the lockers and pulled out a bottle of shampoo and a bag with a bar of soap in it.

I groaned when he slid his pants and boxers off and threw them down on the bench beside me before turning to walk into the shower area. He turned the water on at the shower closest to me so he could talk to me while he washed up. I grabbed his pants and boxers and started to fold them in an attempt to distract myself…I couldn't see anything with the partition blocking his body but I knew from experience what that soapy water would look like sliding down his chest and legs. He tried to start a conversation with me but I was having a hard time concentrating on anything but the image engrained in my head of him in our shower at home.

He must have asked me a question and when I didn't answer, he poked his head out and called my name, "Eden, did you hear me? I asked what you wanted for lunch"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, willing myself to concentrate on the question, "Umm, how about that new Mexican restaurant? Clint said it was good"

"Sounds good" I heard him turn off the water and moments later he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist and his shampoo and soap in one hand. He dropped the towel and gave me a wink, laughing as I shook my head and turned my back as he got dressed, "You're such a damn tease" I said with a smile.

We finally managed to leave SHIELD and get in the car to head to the restaurant. We decided to eat first and then head home and talk. Clint was right about the restaurant…the food was excellent. Once we got back to the apartment, we headed into the living room to sit on the couch to talk.

"So, can I go first?…I'd like you know why I didn't tell you about asking Clint to train me" I said. Once he nodded, I told him about the terrible dream I had about Lister stabbing him while he tried to save me. He listened quietly as I told him, holding my hand the entire time.

"Bucky I don't want you to die trying to save me…that's why I wanted to learn how to take care of myself" I told him.

He looked down at me, "Eden, I would gladly put my life on the line to protect you. I love you"

"I love you too…that's why I want to be able to do the same for you. I would die for you too Bucky" I told him.

He shook his head, "No Eden…I won't allow that to happen. Your life is more important that mine. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you, especially if it was because you died for me. I wouldn't….I wouldn't go on…I would choose to not go on without you"

A sudden image of him dressed in a suit sitting on this same sofa popped into my head. I couldn't see the gun, but I knew it was there, lying next to him on the sofa. I could see him reach for it and hold it in his shaking hand as he placed it to his temple. I closed my eyes tightly and felt the tears brimming in my eyes as the sound of the shot echoed in my head.

She showed me…that night Lister attacked me. Beth showed me what Bucky would do if I died.

I couldn't remember anything else about what she had shown me but that one image was enough to scare the shit out of me.

"No Bucky, you don't get to opt out if anything happens to me. If I die, you live. You have to choose to live" I told him shakily.

"A man can't live without his heart" he said simply.

I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. "Promise me….if anything happens, if I die…whether it's an accident or an illness or even murder…promise me Bucky that you'll find a way to live without me" I said softly.

He pressed his forehead against mine, "Don't make me promise that Eden…please" he begged painfully.

"Promise me Bucky" I repeated.

He closed his eyes but finally muttered the words, "I promise"

I kissed him again, "Thank you" I felt his arms wrap around my waist and he pulled me into his lap. I laid my head down and listened to his heart pounding in his chest.

"Eden" I heard him whisper.

"What?" I asked.

"Promise me something" he said softly.

"What?"

He pulled me away from his chest and tilted my face towards his, "Promise me you won't die"

I took a deep breath, "Bucky…that's not fair. I don't have any control over that…it's not a promise I can necessarily keep….."

He put his finger to my lips, "Just say the words then…please" I gazed into his eyes and saw something I had never seen before…something I never expected to see…fear. Bucky was afraid and even though I knew they were empty words I pulled his hand away from my mouth and said the words, "I promise I won't die"