Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. It was a hard one to write. Let me know what you think in a review or private message. I love to here everyone's opinions. FYI, there will be make up sex in the next chapter. THANKS for reading!
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EDEN POV
"I promise I won't die Bucky" I repeated, "I will always be with you"
I sat in Bucky's lap with my head on his chest, whispering the words over and over again until the pounding of his heart slowed to a more normal rhythm. I wished I didn't have to lie to him but I knew they were just empty words…no one could keep that promise, not even a super soldier like Bucky. One day, we would be separated...whether it was natural or unnatural causes, it was inevitable.
I raised my head from his chest and peered into his blue eyes, seeing nothing but worry in them. The deep set frown on his face reminded me of the first time we had met in the park and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to see him smile. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh when I placed a hand on each side of his face. I brushed my thumb across his pouty bottom lip and then leaned forward to kiss it softly. His eyes stayed closed but his frown lessened and I moved in again to press my lips against his.
I finally leaned close to his ear, "I'm not going to stop kissing you until I see you smile"
The corners of his mouth started to turn slightly upward into a smile but it suddenly vanished and was replaced with another frown. He opened his eyes and shook his head at me, "Is that supposed to motivate me to smile? Because I got to be honest with you Eden, that only makes me want to keep frowning" He wrapped his arms around my waist and I felt his fingers dance up my spine slowly.
I let out a snort, "Fine! I won't kiss you ever again unless I see a smile right now"
He let out a laugh and smiled at me…the biggest and most beautiful smile I had ever seen from him...it reached all the way up to his blue eyes, brightening them.
"Much better" I said, leaning back so I could take a mental picture of how happy he looked right at that moment. I wished I had a camera to capture this moment and hold on to it forever. Thinking about it, I didn't have any pictures of Bucky...an opportunity had never come up for us to have our picture taken together.
He kept looking at me expectantly and when I made no move to kiss him he said, "I'm waiting woman"
Chuckling, I leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before I crawled off his lap and stood up from the couch. He let out an exasperated sigh, "That's it…that's all I get?"
I couldn't help but laugh. Under normal circumstances I would have gladly given him more but I was still anxious about hearing what was his big secret.
"Later" I said, "Right now, I would like to hear what you wanted to tell me"
He stopped smiling and nodded his head, "Come sit down and I'll tell you" I sat back down on the couch and turned to face him. He took my hand in his and after taking a deep breath, he began to tell me all about Milton Kaine and his search for Bucky.
He hadn't even gotten two sentences out of his mouth before I pulled my hand out of his and scooted further back on the couch away from him, glaring at him in anger. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I hated that I had caused it but dammit, I was furious.
You told him that you could forgive him for anything Eden…calm down!
He lowered his head to stare at his hands as he continued telling me about his past with Kaine. My mouth dropped open when Bucky told me Kaine was searching for him because he wanted the Winter Soldier at his side. Because his head was down, Bucky didn't notice that I had suddenly begun shaking….not from fear but from an uncontrolled fury that flowed through me. This man was hunting for the man I loved…hunting him down so he could take him away from me and turn him into a cold blooded killer again. I knew if Bucky had been looking at me, he would have seen the fire burning bright in my blue eyes.
What if he finds Bucky and wipes his memory again? He will forget all about me. I won't let that happen!
He finally finished talking and I stood up from the couch and kept my back to him. I didn't want him to see the angry tears falling down my face.
Bucky must have finally looked up and noticed me shaking…I felt his hand on my shoulder, "Eden, I will keep you safe. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you. "
Enraged, I spun around quickly to face him, "You think I'm worried about myself? I don't need you to protect me Bucky! Kaine's not after me, he's after you! You're the one who needs to be kept safe!"
"Eden…." he began…I cut him off quickly, "You should have told me! I can't believe you kept something this important from me. This is YOUR life we're talking about Bucky…YOUR life is in danger!"
"He doesn't want to kill me Eden" he said quietly.
I snarled at him, "Yes he does! He doesn't want Bucky Barnes as his personal weapon…he wants the Winter Soldier. He wants to wipe your memory and destroy who you are...who you've become. So no, he doesn't technically want you dead, but he also doesn't want you to be you anymore. He wants to take you away from me Bucky and I won't let it happen. I won't lose you" I was babbling now, torn between the need to scream and the desire to break down in tears.
No! You will not cry. This is the time to fight, not the time for tears.
He stepped closer to me and tried to wrap his arms around me, "You're not going to lose me Eden" I stepped back and put my hands up to keep him from touching me. I didn't want to be comforted right now.
I started pacing around the room, talking more to myself than to Bucky, "I'll kill him myself. I won't let him take you away. I'll hunt him down...use myself as bait if I have to"
As I marched past him, Bucky grabbed onto my arm and spun me around to face him, "You will do no such thing...do you hear me?", he growled heatedly. His eyes were narrowed and he was suddenly breathing hard, his chest rising and falling angrily. His fingers were pressing hard into my skin and I winced at the pain but didn't back down.
I stood defiantly in front of him, not saying anything and he finally shook me, "Do you hear me? You're not fucking bait Eden. Kaine would kill you in the most painful, gruesome way you could imagine and he would enjoy every moment of it. I won't allow that to happen."
"So, I'm just supposed to sit back and watch him destroy you...destroy US! I won't allow THAT to happen! I won't do it Bucky. I won't let you fight him alone" I was shouting at him now...and those damn tears just snuck up on me. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and groaned in frustration before I lowered my head.
His grip on me loosened finally, "I won't fight him...not if it means putting you in danger. If he gets anywhere near the city...anywhere near you, we will leave. You and I will go" he said in a soft, calm voice.
I looked up at him in disbelief...Bucky was not the kind of person to run away. I shook my head, unsure if I believed he really meant what he said. He stared down at me and nodded his head, "Yes Eden...I would leave for YOU...I would run away"
Hearing him say those words made me feel both better and worse. Secretly, I was glad he would high tail it out of there if Kaine came for him...knowing he was safe meant more to me than anything. But I also knew he would hate himself for running away, even if he believed it was to keep me safe. Guilt washed over me in waves and the lump in my throat was hard to swallow. I knew if I wasn't a factor in all this, Bucky would hunt the monster down and kill him. I was his greatest weakness...me! The thought of being a liability to him suddenly sickened me and made me feel weak and undeserving of his love.
No Eden! You do deserve him...you love each other.
NO! I will end up getting him hurt. Just like in my nightmare.
I pulled my arm from his hand and stepped back. I had to get out of there and clear my head so I could think rationally again. When I turned around to head out of the living room towards the front door, Bucky quickly fell in to step behind me. I was trying really hard not to look at him...I just wanted to make my escape as fast as possible.
"Where are you going?" he asked nervously when he saw me grab my purse.
"For a walk" I replied, reaching for the door. The anger had left my voice and was replaced with a weary tone. I wasn't mad at him...I couldn't be, I loved him too much. I understood his reasons for keeping it from me...even if I did believe they were misguided.
"I'll come with you" was his reply and I heard him reaching for his jacket.
A light bulb went off in my head and it all made sense suddenly. Bucky had been going everywhere with me the last two weeks...not letting me out of his sight for a single moment. I couldn't figure out why at the time but now I knew...he was trying to watch my back, make sure I was safe.
Because of Kaine!
Instead of keeping himself safe and out of sight, he was following me around like my own personal body guard trying to make sure I was protected. Suddenly there it was again...that horrible guilty feeling swept over me again. It made my stomach feel uneasy and I had to close my eyes for a second to keep myself from getting sick.
"No Bucky. Please stay here. I need some time...time to think...I need to be by myself right now" I said.
I opened the door and before I could step out I felt his hand on my shoulder, "You said there was nothing I could tell you that you wouldn't be able to forgive me for" he said softly.
He had his head down when I turned to look at him and I reached out to raise his face to mine, "And I meant it when I said it. I love you Bucky...I forgave you the moment you told me"
He looked up at me hopefully and I reached my fingers out stroke his cheek tenderly. He raised his hand to cover mine and turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand gently. I could feel the stubble on his face graze against the sensitive skin of my wrist and it sent shivers through me. I wanted nothing more than to take him to the bedroom and show him just how much I loved him.
I shook my head...I couldn't get distracted right now. I needed to get out and clear my head. I let my hand fall back to my side and turned towards the door again.
"Please don't go...stay with me" I heard him say. I felt his hand and my shoulder but I didn't turn around.
I shook my head, "Please don't follow me Bucky" I opened the door and stepped out, pulling it closed behind me. I stayed standing right outside the door for several moments, knowing that he was there on the other side, listening for my footsteps as I walked away.
I finally made my way down the hallway and stairs to walk out into the cold, dark night, alone.
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Bucky POV
After she closed the door behind her, I stood and listened for her retreating footsteps. For a moment, I thought she had changed her mind...she wasn't moving from the door. But eventually, I heard her start to walk down the hallway. I instantly went to the window that faced the street and waited for her to appear. She walked out moments later and I watched as she looked both ways, trying to decide which direction to go. She eventually turned left and I stared at her until she was completely out of sight.
I immediately pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Clint's number. Once he picked up, I explained to him what had happened when I told Eden about Kaine.
"Do you still have a man watching our building?" I asked.
"Of course, 24/7 coverage...I'll call my man and have him follow her" he said.
"No, I want it to be you Clint...I trust you...so does she. I don't want your man scaring her." I told him.
"I'll have him watch her until I get there. I'll keep an eye on her Bucky" he said before saying goodbye and hanging up.
I put the phone back in my pocket and looked out the window again. It was already dark outside and the temperature was dropping. I looked back at the door and saw that Eden's coat was still there, forgotten in her hasty retreat from the apartment. I shook my head and clenched my fist together...trying to convince myself to not go over there, snatch the coat up and run after her. She said she wanted to be alone...needed time to think.
I walked over to the couch and sat down. It was too quiet in the apartment so I reached for the remote and turned the TV on, hoping it would distract me.
She said she had forgiven me and she didn't appear angry when she left...she actually seemed more sad than anything...disappointed in me maybe for keeping it a secret. I regretted not telling her right away...I should have told her the day I found out. Maybe if I had confided in her, she would have come and asked me to train her...to show her how to protect herself.
I wasn't angry with Clint...in fact, I was pleased with how much he had shown her in such a short amount of time. When I saw those perfectly aimed shots in the paper target she handed me earlier, I had been impressed...not just with her, but with Clint too. When he told me she was a natural at fighting, I had felt a surge of pride in me. She never ceased to amaze me and I couldn't wait to see exactly how good she could be. I planned on asking her to let me show her a few things too. Clint was good, there was no doubt about that...but I would feel better doing some of it myself, more reassured in her skill.
As more time passed, I got more and more worried. She had been gone for over 3 hours and I hadn't heard anything from Clint. I reached for my phone to text him.
Bucky: Did you find her? Is she okay?
Clint: I'm with her, she's fine. Look out your window...we're at the park across the street on a bench.
I got up from the couch and stood in front of the window to look out. Even in the dark, I could see her...sitting on the bench where we had first met. Clint was sitting next to her and I saw him look back towards our building before turning back around.
I couldn't take it anymore...I slipped my jacket on and then grabbed hers as well before opening the door and heading down the stairs.
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Eden POV
It was cold when I stepped out the apartment building and I almost turned around to walk back upstairs to get my coat. I sucked it up and began walking down the street, ignoring everything and everyone around me. The farther away I got from home, the stronger the desire was to turn around and go straight back to Bucky. It suddenly didn't feel right walking away from him...no matter how angry or how worried I was, I still only wanted to be close to him. Sheer stubbornness kept me walking forward.
Who the hell does Milton Kaine think he is trying to take him from me? Bucky has already been through enough shit the last 70 years. Why can't they leave him alone?
A sweet familiar smell caught my attention and I stopped and looked around. I was standing in front of the candy store. I thought back to the first time I had dragged Bucky in there and his reaction to tasting their homemade fudge. Remembering the twinkle in his eye as he had picked out different sweet treats brought a smile to my face and I decided to go in.
The bell dinged as I opened the door and the owner, Ms. Anna, looked up from the counter and smiled at me.
"Hello there dear, where's that handsome, young man of yours tonight?" she asked, looking out the window of the store in search of Bucky.
We had returned to the candy store several times since the first time I had dragged him in there. Each time, Ms. Anna, would let him try her latest concoction and he would stand at the counter, thoughtfully chewing on whatever treat she gave him. I always stood back and watched him, enjoying that completely carefree look on his face. I imagined that would be how he always looked if HYDRA had never gotten their hands on him. Ms. Anna always seemed delighted by Bucky's reaction and it was sweet to watch them chat together as he picked out what he wanted.
"He's at home...I thought I would stop by and pick him up some treats" I told her, making my way over to the counter, "Anything new today?"
She smiled at me and nodded, "I've got something special for him" I watched as she picked up a small box and filled it with some type of fudge that she had sitting to the side.
"Let him know I made this recipe up especially for him. So far, everyone seems to love it" she said with a smile, "What else can I get for you?"
I motioned at one of the bigger, empty boxes next to the register and laughed, "Fill one of the bigger boxes up for him with whatever it is he likes" I knew Ms. Anna would know exactly what he would want so I left the counter and wandered around the store picking out some goodies for myself. Once I had paid for my purchases, I said goodbye to her and stepped out onto the sidewalk again.
I kept making my way down the street until I came to the antique store. We had been inside many times since that day I had first taken Bucky. I looked at my watch and saw that they weren't closing for another 15 minutes, so I made my way inside. A young woman looked up with a smile and greeted me before continuing with the customer she was helping. I walked around the store admiring the old furniture and other antiques.
I made my way over to the corner where that juke box Bucky had like so much was still sitting. Each time we came in, he would always make his way over to it and I would catch him with that same look on his face. I knew he wanted it and I had seriously been considering buying it for him...possibly as a Christmas present. It was still over a month away, but I had spoken with the owner the last time I had come in and he said if I wanted, he would hold it for me in the storage area in the back.
I remembered what Bucky had said to me the first time he saw it: "What do you think? Would it fit in my bedroom?
My reply had been: "Yeah it probably would fit...in YOUR bedroom"
Thinking about it made me laugh out loud and I stepped back from the jukebox. Since moving in with me, Bucky had never spent a night in what was considered "his" bedroom. I don't think that was ever the intention...when I asked him to move in, I think I always planned him to be with me in my room.
What are you doing here Eden? You should be at home with him or he should be here with you.
I looked over at the glass cases holding the jewelry and then down at my own hand to see the ring Bucky had bought me. The blue topaz of the ring shimmered in the light and I closed my eyes as I thought back to what he had told me the night he had given it to me: "This is my gift to you...no, it's my promise to you...a promise that I will never leave you again"
The sick feeling in my stomach was back as I thought about the monster that was searching for him. Milton Kaine could easily make Bucky break his promise. I felt the anger returning and I stumbled back from the counter...I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I turned around to rush out of the shop, inhaling a deep breath of cold, fresh air as soon as I was out.
I started walking again, further and further down the street until I was no longer in my neighborhood. I knew I should turn around...this area wasn't safe for a woman to be walking late at night by herself, but I kept going anyway...I wasn't scared for some reason.
As I began to see less and less people on the sidewalk, the more I got the feeling that I was being watched...maybe even followed. I slowed down and listened carefully for the sound of other footsteps. I didn't hear anything but I felt it...it wasn't the same feeling I got when Lister had been stalking me...this was different.
I glanced behind me and narrowed my eyes, I didn't see anyone on the sidewalk though. I looked at my watch and saw how late it was getting. With a sigh, I turned around to head back in the direction of my apartment. Whoever was following me was going to be in for a big surprise when I walked right past them.
I had only gone a few steps when I heard the sound of glass breaking behind me. I turned and saw the two guys who had just rounded the corner making their way in my direction. One of them had just thrown a bottle against the side of the brick building and they were now drunkenly laughing at each other. When they spotted me, one let out a wolf whistle and nudged his friend and whispered something to him.
I rolled my eyes and turned back around and continued making my way down the street. I heard them following me but I just kept walking. I took a deep breath and clenched my fists tightly when I heard one of them ask, "Hey baby, where you going?" When I ignored him he said, "Hey bitch, I'm talking to you, slow down!"
Bitch! I'll show him just how much of a bitch I can be.
I don't know what I was thinking but I stopped walking and let him and his friend catch up to me. I thought about Milton Kaine, the man who was pursuing Bucky...the man who wanted to steal him away from me. I used the hate I felt for Kaine to fuel my anger and then turned around to face the two men who now stood behind me.
They both looked pretty young...so young in fact that I figured they were barely legal age to even be drinking in the first place. I stayed completely still as they walked around me letting their eyes roam up and down my body. Two weeks ago, I would have needed Bucky to save me...I would have been scared...I would have felt helpless.
But it wasn't two weeks ago and tonight, I didn't need Bucky to save me...I wasn't scared...and I sure as hell didn't feel helpless.
I didn't even flinch when I felt one of them press themselves against me from behind...I stood completely still and let him run his hands down my arms. My eyes were locked on the one who stood in front of me, grinning like a complete idiot. That smile left his face the moment my foot connected with his groin. He slid down to his knees, grabbing himself and letting out a shout. Now that he was on his knees, he was at the perfect height for me to kick him in the face. I wasn't able to see whether he fell over or not because I felt the other guys arms wrap around me...I was quickly shoved hard against the brick wall. The other guy was now screaming at me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying...all I heard was the pounding of my own heart.
The bastard raised his hand to backhand me and I quickly put my arm up to block the hit. He looked stunned when I jabbed him in the face...he stumbled back and grabbed for his nose. I smirked when I saw the blood on his hands as he pulled them away from his face.
"You broke my fucking nose bitch" I heard him say. He stood back from me warily and I suddenly felt empowered...like I could do anything. His eyes widened when I stepped forward and advanced towards him.
I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and I jerked around to see who had touched me. I was surprised to see Clint behind me. He looked at the guy whose hands were covered in blood, "Get the fuck out of here...now!"
I watched him help his friend up and they both stumbled down the street, leaning on each other. I looked back at Clint and frowned, "I didn't need your help"
"I wasn't helping you...I was helping them. Damn woman! You were fucking amazing. This is probably the proudest moment of my life" he said, smiling wide at me.
I chuckled and we started walking down the street back in the direction of my apartment.
"I told him not to follow me...I guess sending you instead was his way of getting around that request" I said, looking over at him.
He nodded, "You know how Bucky is Eden...the guy loves you. He just wanted to make sure you were looked after...even if you wouldn't let him be the one to do it"
We walked in silence for a block before I spoke again, "I'm not mad at him Clint. That's not why I left. I'm just...I don't know...worried I guess...worried for him. What if this Kaine guy finds him?"
Clint stopped and turned to me, "We aren't going to let him find Bucky. Me, Nat, Steve, even Director Fury...we are doing our best to make sure that doesn't happen. Let us worry about Kaine"
I nodded my head at him and we both turned to walk down the street again. When we got close to my building, I detoured and headed across the street to the park. I heard Clint sigh and follow me. I sat down on the bench...the same one where I had met Bucky that first night. We sat there for a few moments in silence...now that I wasn't walking around, the cold finally set in and I felt myself shivering.
Clint pulled off his coat, "Here, put this on" he said. I started to open my mouth to refuse but he thrust it at me, "Now! I just got back on Bucky's good side...if you get sick, I'll be back on his shit list"
I couldn't help but smile as I slid the coat on...it was warm from Clint's body heat. I lay back on the bench and looked up at the stars. One of the things I liked most about Clint was that he was upfront and honest with me. While we sat there, I asked him questions about Milton Kaine and he answered truthfully...not sugar coating anything. I believed Clint when he said that they would do whatever it took to keep him safe. Bucky could worry about me all he wanted...at least I knew there were people out there worrying about him.
Clint's phone suddenly beeped and he pulled it from his pocket to read the text message. I saw him type a response to whoever it was and then look back to glance at my apartment.
Bucky!
He shoved he phone back in his pocket and looked over at me.
"Bucky?" I asked.
"Bucky" he replied with a nod.
I knew I only had a few more minutes alone with Clint...Bucky was probably already making his way to the park.
"Thanks Clint" I said softly.
He looked over at me, "For what?"
"Tonight, for the first time, I didn't feel scared or helpless" I said.
He nodded his head, "Good...but please don't pull that shit ever again. It's fine to defend yourself but you were looking to pick a fight Eden. That could have easily gotten out of hand. I don't want anything bad to happen to you"
I smiled when I heard him say that, "You're a good friend Clint" I told him...when he chuckled I looked over and asked, "What?"
"It's just been a long time since I've had a friend that didn't work for SHIELD. I'm glad we got to know each other Eden" he said.
I reached for his hand and squeezed, "Me too"
I didn't hear the footsteps approaching but Clint did...he released my hand quickly and got up from the bench. I turned around and saw Bucky walking slowly towards us. I slipped Clint's jacket off and handed it to him. He leaned down to hug me and whispered in my ear, "Take it easy on him, ok?"
I smiled and nodded my head, "I will"
He walked over to Bucky and I heard them whispering to each other. I knew when I heard Bucky inhale sharply that Clint had told him about the fight with the two drunks.
Geez Clint! He could have kept that between me and him.
While they finished talking, I sat there thinking about everything Bucky and Clint had told me. I knew it was stupid to dwell on it...I just had to let it go. I didn't want to live every day worrying about losing him. Every moment with him was precious to me and here I was, wasting the last 3 or 4 hours sulking around town when I should have been spending that time with him.
"Can I sit down?" I heard him ask.
I looked up at him and saw that he was carrying my coat in his hands. I smiled at him and nodded. My smile seemed to visibly relax him and he sat down beside me. He handed me my coat and I slipped it on and zipped it up before saying, "Thanks"
He sat in silence for several moments before he said, "Clint told me what happened" I heard a hint of annoyance in his voice and looked over to see him staring intently at me, waiting to see how I responded.
"Did he also tell you that I kicked both their asses?" I said cockily.
He tried not to smile but that damn sexy smirk slid onto his face and he laughed softly. I reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments...both of us unsure what to say.
I finally broke the silence, "I'm ready for us to be able to just live our lives Bucky...just me and you. No more HYDRA...no more Kaine...no more crazy stalkers. Just us"
He pulled me closer to him and I lay my head on his chest, "That's all I want too, Eden. When all this is over, we're going to make that happen. Me and you...I promise"
"I love you Bucky"
I felt his lips brush against my forehead, "I love you too...Let's go home baby"