DISCLAIMER: All characters in Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

AN: Hello!! So I recently started naruto a few weeks ago (I know, the shame) and I already fell for precious Itachi. I guess I'm not the only one but I couldn't help but wish his story wasn't so sad because it literally broke my heart. So I guess this is basically me venting out my frustrations about him not having necessarily a very happy ending. It's the first time I write fanfiction or anything...so I'm not very used to it. I'm sorry if he's not really in character but I needed to write this. That's all, I hope you enjoy it and please review!

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Anger

Pain

Remorse

Grief

Guilt

Those were feelings he was familiar with, after all, he felt them every waking moment of his life but he was just good at ignoring them. Any other person would have committed suicide at this point after having to deal with it every day, but he was not an ordinary person, he was an Uchiha. He was what his father raised him to be: a man of a strong facade, stoic face and steeled heart; who bottled everything deep within him and showed no emotion no matter the situation because pride always came first. That is the way his father taught him to be and simply the way the Uchiha handled themselves. Besides it was not like he had any other option having in mind he was an S-class criminal and belonged to the most feared terrorist organization. He could not afford emotions anymore.

And he was fine with it because he knew that everything that led him to be where he was in that moment, everything he had done, was done for the greater good: for his village, for his little brother, for peace. All was done so they wouldn't live another unnecessary bloodshed, so his brother could live his life, one without worry, despair and death at every corner; and if that meant for him to shed the blood of his own family, to sacrifice himself, to give up his honor as a loyal shinobi and to carry all those consequences alone, then he would gladly do it in silence and with a mask of serenity and cruelty on his face.

Of course his actions did not come cheap, after all, he was indeed human and therefore he felt things, he was not a psychopath and he had enough blood in his hands to bathe himself in it…but he had to ignore it or it would eat him alive. So he grow used to silence his feelings and emotions and replace them with a calm demeanor, used to restless nights plagued with nightmares of the things he had done, used to look the other way when it came to his morality and beliefs, all this so they would not break the facade of the cruel bastard he had forged for himself and give him away. And despite his disgust towards himself, he was quite good at it.

With each passing year, it got easier. Easier to cheat and betray, to manipulate, to kidnap and even easier to kill. He just had to ignore it and keep telling himself that it was necessary. However, this particular night proved him that no matter how much he pushed his emotions aside and buried them deep within his heart, it would be at the end, a futile effort. And it was actually a special night, since it was the first time he had seen Sasuke since that horrible night. But being who he was, of course that reunion could not happen in a happy way, no, it had to be filled with him torturing his little brother again and beating him senseless, to end up with him fleeing.

'What a pathetic sight' he thought bitterly as he silently closed the door of the room. His eyes were burning and throbbing with the pain of unshed tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks, his hands were slightly trembling and he could not concentrate, but the worst of all was the sickening feeling of a void in his chest that would not let him breathe properly no matter how much oxygen he inhaled, there just was not enough to fill his lungs and allow him to calm the pain that screamed from every part of his soul. He faced the room, his back at the door as he tried his best to keep at bay the tears, his lips pressing together so hard that they formed a white thin line in his already pale face just to stop the sob that was making its way up his throat.

He was starting to feel sick at the show he was pulling off in that moment. He could not afford break downs like this because he would not cry, he just could not cry for Sasuke or them, he did not deserve to do such a thing, it would be hypocritical of him to do that after everything that happened. He had to go through all of this hell: endure the pain of living with what he had done, remember their faces and smiles, hearing their screams and seeing their blood on his hands and clothes every night when he could not sleep, watch the tears fall helplessly down his little brother's face. This was his punishment and the last part was to be delivered by Sasuke, he deserved nothing more.

He was about to make his way towards the bed, when he noticed something move under the covers, more like someone. He was not alone. 'How did I not notice that?' he mentally scolded himself for being so careless. He knew he should have done something by now but he could not bring himself to move, for whatever reason, all he could do at the moment was observe. The person got up from the bed and took a few hesitant steps towards him before stopping in front of the window, where the dim light from outside allowed him to see a familiar face.

"Itachi?".

Her voice was soft, worried, but just like he remembered. Her brown hair was loosened up framing her delicate face and those brown orbs of hers were looking straight into his soul. It felt like blow to his stomach. Standing there was someone whom he thought he would never see again, someone who was supposed to be dead. He should know that because he was the one who killed her.

"Izumi".

It was not a question, it was more of an statement. It was her, there was no doubt, but there was something different. She looked his age, the age she should have been if he had not killed her. Of all nights, why did it have to be this particular one? Whoever was doing this, was certainly dead. But then again, he had never shared his life with anyone after he left the village, no one knew about Izumi. So, what was she?.

Before he could finish processing what the hell was happening, she closed the distance between them and lifted her hand to cup his face. He could not help but lean into her warm touch and close his eyes for a second. He should be doing something: dispelling the (most likely) genjutsu, slicing her throat with a kunai, pulling out his tantō, just something. But whatever this was, whatever she was, it felt so real and in this moment he felt so helpless that he just did not care. He did not care if this was a genjutsu or a dream, whatever it was he would just take it while it lasted.

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly without opening his eyes, scared that she might not really be there if he did.

"You are not okay".

He allowed himself to smirk. "I have not been okay for a while". He opened his eyes to meet with her worried ones.

"This is different".

She stared at him for a moment before putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in a hug. "You do not have to put that mask with me" she whispered in his ear.

He could not move and he was beginning to have trouble breathing. Those words, in that particular moment, they were too much, and he just could not take it anymore. All the cracks in him gave in, all the pain from today of having to hurt his little brother and simply everything he had felt until now came crushing on him like a bunch of rocks on the top of his chest. A painful whimper escaped his mouth as the tears began to run freely down his cheeks, he lifted his arms and embraced her tightly, fearing that she might disappear from his arms right there.

She held him as he cried in her arms holding onto her like she was his last lifeline. She pulled away and cupped his face with her hands, wiping away the tears that kept falling down nonstop with her thumbs. Then she took his hand and guided him to the bed.

"It's okay, everything is okay" she smiled gently pushing a string of his long hair behind his ear and then caressing his cheek before pulling her hand away.

"No, it is not" he muttered, his eyes fixed in hers.

"Itachi..."

"I just came back from sending Sasuke to the hospital" He said more calmly than he expected despite the few tears that were still spilling from his eyes and the anger the thought provoked in him.

"He…I am sure he will be okay" She hesitated.

He sighed. "Sometimes I think it was a mistake".

"What?".

"Everything I did Izumi" He said looking straight at her soul.

She bit her lip. "Everything you did, it was the right choice for everyone, you know that".

"Even when it meant to kill my family? My own clan? I-".

"No" She cut him off. "What you did, was the best choice for everyone Itachi, if not the only one at the time".

"How can you be so sure?" He inquired staring at her.

"Because if you had not done that, then the Uchiha blood would not have been the only one on the streets of Konoha but the blood of the entire village...along with yours and Sasuke's, maybe even more" She said firmly staring back at him and grabbing his chin. "That would have been worth it then?"

He was usually a man sure of himself and his actions, since he analyzed everything with deep care and precision, choosing always what in his humble opinion was the better option and had the less casualties. But sometimes, he really could not help to think that maybe he was wrong, that he made the wrong choice. Then as he registered his brother's name, that thought grew bigger in his mind and made him angry again.

"And this is better? How could that be the best choice when all that has come from it is suffering and pain for the only person I have left that I love and care about?" He shot back looking at her, his voice getting slightly louder for a second.

She was taken aback for a moment by his sudden burst but then her expression filled with determination under his intense gaze.

"You are right with that" she stated clenching her jaw. "Your choices made him suffer and continue to do so, making him feel things he should not be feeling, making him focus only in his hatred towards you and pushing everyone and everything else aside even if all you did was out of love for him".

He rarely felt like a child in his life, but suddenly he felt like one being lectured about all the things he has done wrong. He knew all that, he saw it at first hand every time he checked on Sasuke and even more today, but to hear it like this, all laid out and out loud, it was yet another blow to what he had carefully planned. It made him wince.

"But" she continued before he had the chance to keep beating himself up. "That does not mean he will not understand why you did what you did when he learns the truth".

"He can not. He will not". A menacing tone in his voice and deadly glare in his face, but she did not seem to mind it when she just smiled quietly to herself and shook her head.

He frowned. "What is so funny?".

"You have always been this oblivious, don't you?" She said fixing her eyes in his and putting a hand in his chest. "The universe does not let kind souls go without love, Itachi. Whether you want it or not, he will find out the truth about you and the love that still lives deep within him, will resurface again".

Hope is not something he could believe in anymore, if he ever did it at some point. But in that moment, despite the protests coming for his rational side, he wanted nothing more but to hope she was right about that.

"Thank you". He mumbled and looked away, an uneasy feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. She was being so kind to him even when the time they had shared in life was not what he would call something extraordinary, especially not coming from him since at that time he had other things in mind and he did not treat her with the same sentiment as she did to him. And besides...

"Izumi I killed you..." He began still not looking at her, unsure of how to continue. "How can you not hate me?".

Silence. He was starting to regret saying that but then he took a deep breath and turned to face her. To his surprise, she was smiling at him with nothing more than love in her eyes. 'Why?'.

She seemed to realize that he was struggling to understand why she was being like this with him. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in and opened them again reaching his face with her hands. "Itachi...you killed me, yes, but before that you allowed me to live the life I have always wanted. You gave me happiness in my final moments and for that I thank you".

"But that does not erase the fact that I still killed y-"

"I understood then and still understand why you did what you did Itachi, and I do not blame you" She put her finger in his lips to quiet him. "You want people to hate you, you want me to hate you right now, but all my heart has ever offered you is love".

She hesitantly leaned forward and captured his lips in hers. At first he did not know what to do, he did not expect her to do that but then slowly, he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss, longing for the peace and comfort her lips assured him. After a moment, she pulled away.

"We are proud of you, you know" She smiled at him still cupping his face, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Your parents, Shisui, all of us are proud of you".

"You should not be..." He clenched his jaw. Fresh tears wanting to form in his eyes at the mention of those names.

"But we are. You are so strong Itachi and we love you so much". She continued as she sweetly caressed his cheeks.

"I do not deserve this" He whispered looking away.

"What you did not deserve was to carry the responsibility of an entire village upon your shoulders while just being a child".

Before he could say something, she pulled his head into her chest and hugged him tightly. "I hope someday you realize the merit you have Itachi Uchiha, but until then all I can tell you is that I love you and there is nothing that will change that" she said softly planting a small kiss at the top of his head and stroking his hair.

As his mind repeated those words again and again, he finally did what he had not done in all those years of solitude, and let it all out. He cried away all of his anger, pain and guilt with every tear that was soaking her shirt, holding onto her until he drifted into a calm sleep for the first time since he could remember, still embraced by her arms. He knew he did not deserve this, to be able to sleep without nightmares or to be held by someone who loved him so dearly, but he allowed himself to feel safe and have the certain that she would not let him fall apart.

At least just for tonight.