Blood Runs Deep Part 1

When Serana woke up it was nearing mid-day. The sun was nearing its highest point and its rays fell through the curtains and bathed the room in a warm, golden light. She first mumbled a few things and rolled to the other side of the bed, and realized she was alone. A slight breeze came through the windows and she heard the sound of joyous laughter and she recognized the voices.

She sat up straight and saw that it was late. She had half a mind to stay in bed and wait for Tarrion to show, but she decided to get up and go downstairs. After she had donned a simple set of clothing she entered the kitchen and saw Rayya explaining her cooking.

"You see?" she said. "In Hammerfell we can sometimes bake this on stones in the middle of the day, but without fire. We simply lay it on the stones, the sun warms them up and we only have to wait. And make sure we don't get sand in our food."

Her little apprentice laughed and as soon as Serana entered the room, she turned around.

"Mommy!" she shouted and she ran toward her mother and Serana picked the little girl in her arms and kissed her on her cheek. "Are you alright? Daddy said you were really tired and we should let you sleep."

"He did?" Serana asked. "How thoughtful of him. But yes, mommy was a bit tired."

"Mhm." Rayya nodded under her turban. "And I could hear the reason why."

Serana blushed and coughed. "Oh, you did?... Ahem… sorry."

"What did you and daddy do?" the little girl asked.

"We eh… talked."

"It wasn't a very articulate conversation." Rayya mumbled so softly only Serana could hear her.

"Yes… well…" and Serana put the little girl down. "Run along now, Thalia. Have you fed Skjor yet?"

"No, not yet… but I will do that now."

The little girl ran away and Serana came standing next to Rayya.

"Sorry about last night, Rayya. It was the last day of spring…. He gets very, eh…"

"Yes… I have noticed, and there is no need to apologize." she waved it away. "It's nothing I haven't heard before…. I would only ask if you could try to keep it down." and she gave Serana a slight wink.

After Serana helped Rayya with cooking, she left to the large garden behind the house where she heard more laughter. As she stepped through the doors she saw how Tarrion had his hand above his head and made large stomping steps while roaring.

"You dare take on the mighty dragon? Come and face me!"

From behind a young tree two young kids appeared, both with a blunt, wooden sword in hand and a wooden shield.

One was a young boy, with raven black hair and deep eyes, just like his father and he was dressed in a blue tunic with brown leather boots. His sister was of the same height, also with pitch black hair, but her eyes differed from her brother's and she was also dressed in blue and brown.

With young yells they ran at their father who started shouting as if he was hurt. In truth they hardly hit him, but he fell to the ground. He grabbed their swords and hugged them both while all three laughed.

"Wuaaaahhhh!" Tarrion shouted with a smile. "I just ate you for lunch. I win!" and he munched on their ears.

From around the corner Thalia came running with a large wolf behind her. As soon as the wolf saw Tarrion it barked loud and jumped on his master and started licking his face.

No matter how many times Skjor had played with the children without anything happening, Serana still felt a small surge of discomfort when she saw the big wolf so close to them, always afraid that something might happen.

"Skjor…. Skjor! Stop that…Down boy.." Tarrion laughed and he pushed the wolf away.

Serana looked at all five of them and she felt completely happy. Tarrion had not changed a bit in the years that had passed, except a few of his hairs had started to turn grey. It was quite quick for his hair to turn grey, since he wasn't that old, but Serana thought it suited him. 'A sign of wisdom' she would say. Tarrion disagreed on this and felt old when he would see his reflection, despite the fact he was still in his prime and his body was still as strong as always.

The twins, Elaine and Terron were both six years old and they bore features of both their mother and father. Terron looked more like Tarrion, both in appearance and name. He had inherited parts of Tarrion, and his yellow eyes made clear that he had wolf-blood. Elaine took more after Serana and her eyes were dark red, indicating her Vampiric ancestry.

The youngest of the three children was Thalia, who also had dark hair, but was growing faster than her brother and sister and despite that she was two years younger, she was almost as tall as them. She was also much calmer than her siblings and liked to help Rayya and read more than run around in the garden or to play with Tarrion. Of the three children, she had the brightest eyes. Clear blue, and with her black hair they sometimes seemed to glow.

Skjor was the big wolf that had been a part of the family since before the twins were born. Named after Tarrion's old friend Skjor, the wolf stood almost four feet tall and with grey fur and yellow eyes, he had a highly intimidating look. But underneath that rough exterior was a kind-hearted and loving spirit, and Serana would often joke that Tarrion and Skjor were related in that regard.

"Ah, morning dear." Tarrion said as he kept Skjor off him and was about to lean in for a kiss.

"No…." Serana held him off. "First wash yourself… I'm not going to kiss you after Skjor has licked your face."

Tarrion walked past her, but quickly gave her a kiss on her cheek, after which she wiped the wolf-saliva off, but with a slight smile.

"Come on, kids. Time for lunch."

Elaine, Terron and Thalia ran past their mother into the house and Skjor came sitting next to Serana. She looked down on the animal and scratched it behind its ear. The wolf looked up at her with his tongue hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Later that evening, after Serana had put Thalia to bed she listened at how Tarrion put the twins to bed.

"No, not tomorrow." she heard him say. "Tomorrow we go to aunt Lydia, remember? We will have a long trip ahead, so you two have to go to sleep now."

"Will Skjor come with us? And will we also visit aunt Aela?" she heard Elaine ask.

"Of course we will. She lives in Whiterun too, and maybe you can ask Mila how to make those nice necklaces. She can make the best in Skyrim. But now to bed, both of you."

Serana heard how Tarrion gave both his kids a kiss on their forehead and left for the door. Serana felt a surge of happiness go through her and quickly left for her room. She hid behind the door and as soon as Tarrion entered she hugged him from behind and kissed his neck. Tarrion quickly turned around a pressed her against him and kissed her back.

"Gods… I love you." she sighed and they fell on the bed.

"I love you too." Tarrion answered. "You… Terron, Elaine, Thalia…. All of you. I am the luckiest man in the world."

"And I sometimes still can't believe it." Serana said and she rolled on top of him. "Me… a mother…. Having children…"

"And you're a wonderful mother, and the best wife I can imagine."

"So… what do you say…" Serana started and she looked him deep in his eyes. He saw hers flicker and glow and he had the same feeling he always had. Like they were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. "What do you say to giving the kids a brother or sister?"

She saw Tarrion's eyes widen. "You want more children?" he asked her.

"With you?... From the bottom of my heart, yes. Absolutely."

Tarrion's face changed from surprised to happy and he smiled at her.

"Then come here."

"Oh… we will have to be careful though." she whispered quickly. "It turns out Rayya heard us last night." and Tarrion raised an eyebrow. "She asked me if we could… 'keep it down'."

"Very well then." he whispered into her ear. "But don't think I'll make it easy for you."

Serana woke up panting and she immediately sat up straight. She looked around the room and saw it was as she remembered it. As she turned her head, she saw Tarrion lying next to her, sleeping soundly. In the dark she could still see his scars, but she now looked at his head. His hair was just as black as it had always been and there was no sign of aging to be seen. She quickly ran her hands through his hair, trying to see even a hint of grey amongst all the black, but there was nothing to be found. Tarrion mumbled in his sleep and woke up.

"Hmm… wha- what?" he mumbled in one of the pillows.

Before she could control herself she stepped out of her bed and left the room and started opening other rooms. All of them were empty and after she checked the last one she froze. She hardly noticed what was happening as she slowly closed the door and walked back to her room and she sat on the bed. Tarrion had woken up and now looked at her with his eyes half open.

"Serana? Are you alright?"

It took a while before she answered. She had to force herself to realize where she was and she only noticed now how the rain hammered on the windows. A summer storm had arrived in Skyrim and for three days straight the rain kept pouring down.

"Serana?" she heard Tarrion ask again.

"Oh… I, eh…. Don't worry, I'm fine." she stammered before pulling herself together. "Just a crazy dream."

Tarrion pushed himself up. "Nightmare?"

"No." she answered and a smile appeared on her face. "The exact opposite. It was a good dream…. The best I've ever had."

She turned to Tarrion and he saw her smile and he knew all was well.

"It's just…. It was too real. Far too real, and I just wished it were real."

"Then what did you dream about?" he asked, understanding it was a matter close to her.

Serana did not answer immediately. She knew it would open the door to an immense amount of questions, and she wasn't sure if she could answer them all. She wasn't sure what Tarrion's response would be. What if she told him she wanted children? What would he say? Would he agree with her? Would he disagree with her? Would he be happy or angry? Taken by surprise or had he also thought about it? What would he say and ask?

She started hesitantly. "I… I dreamt about us…. We were married."

She waited to see his reaction. He said nothing, and his face hardly changed, except for a slight widening of his eyes. She continued.

"We lived in this house, here in Falkreath. Rayya was still here, and it was clear a number of years had passed. Rayya seemed a little older, yet still the same. You too had aged a bit. You were not old, yet a few parts of your hair had turned grey."

She smiled to herself and looked at him. "I must say, it suited you."

He smiled back and made a slight chuckle. She knew that he knew that there was more to come and he remained silent.

"We even had a pet wolf. We named him Skjor, after your old friend, and he would sometimes play with the children in the garden out back where we had planted a few trees for shade and-…"

"Wow… stop, stop." Tarrion said and Serana quickly looked away. "We had children?"

She took a glance at him and saw that his face only held surprise. She saw no anger, no frustration, but no joy either. He clearly tried to wrap his head around the idea.

"Yes…. More than one." Serana continued. "We had twins, a daughter and a son, and another daughter."

Tarrion now stared at the bed and Serana saw his lips move. 'Three children?'

"Yes," she nodded. "and we were about to make an effort to make it four."

Tarrion's head fell backwards against the headboard and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't explain what he felt. It was pure surprise and shock, but he also felt a small surge of happiness and he felt how he had a slight, yet uncontrollable smile.

"Do… do you like that idea?" he heard Serana ask hesitantly.

"I…. I don't know what to say." and he meant it. "I'm at a loss of words."

He looked at Serana and she looked hopefully at him, hoping he would feel the same as her, yet he knew he didn't. He did not have the same dream as her… he couldn't know what she felt, yet a part of him started to understand a bit more.

"I must confess, Serana… I never gave it a lot of thought. Don't get me wrong though…. I love you. I love you with all my heart, and I have no intention of leaving you… ever. Yet the thought of having children…. It had crossed my mind, sure, but only briefly. On small moments…. Never long enough to really think about it."

"I understand." Serana nodded.

"Have you?"

Again, Serana hesitated, afraid or unsure of the reaction he would give. "Yes…. I have. But for very different reasons."

She sat in front of him and he saw how she was nervous. She took his hands and slightly squeezed them. She was now afraid. More afraid than she had been thus far. Until now she had been fairly sure of how he would respond. She knew he loved her and that was enough for her to know…. But now she had no idea what would happen. If it would affect their relationship in any way, or not at all, and she knew not which she would fear more.

She felt how he squeezed her hands a bit in response, and she sighed deeply before she took the dive.

"I don't know if I can." she blurted out rapidly. She then took a deep breath and repeated. "I don't know that is even possible for me."

"What do you mean?" Tarrion asked.

"'What do I mean'? Have children of course."

A part of Tarrion told him he should have known, yet he still felt surprised.

"You don't know if you can have children?"

"Yes. I am a Vampire. A Daughter of Coldharbour even! Vampires are technically dead, remember? We can't have children. The women can't get pregnant and the men can't impregnate... yet…."

"Yet?"

"Well…." and Serana now felt her frustration boiling up even more, and Tarrion noticed it. "Despite that I am a Vampire…. And despite that I am… well, 'dead'… a lot of parts of my body still work the same. I can hear… I can see…. I can smell, talk, taste. My muscles work, my brain still works….. and…. I am not sure if my womb is one of those parts about me that still work."

Serana got up and started pacing around the room and Tarrion followed her with his eyes. "I don't know if I can get pregnant. Vampires aren't exactly alive… so it would only make sense if I can't get pregnant…. Yet if many other parts of my body still work…. Does my womb still work too? Is it impossible for me to have children… or is it just very, very difficult?"

Serana stopped pacing and an expression of grief had appeared on her face. Tears now welled up in her eyes and her mouth was open in a silent cry. "This dream I had…. It was too real, and at the same time…. I don't know if it can ever be real. And more than that… how can I ever be a mother? I am a Vampire, and how can someone…. Something like me ever be a loving mother…. Who would want to call a Vampire 'mother'?"

"You think you'll be a bad mother because you're a Vampire?"

Tarrion had raised his voice only a little, yet the power could be sensed. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at her and a frown was on his face.

"What do you expect?" Serana asked, and Tarrion saw how an angry gaze appeared in her eyes. "How many Vampires have been good mothers? Name one. My mother was a Vampire and she wasn't exactly a good mother. She shut me out. She left me alone when I needed her. She would see me as a student, rather than a daughter. And in the end she locked me underground for centuries without even asking my opinion! Is that the kind of mother I can look up to? I have no example of mothership. My real 'mother' died thousands of years ago on that night in that valley… probably even before that. Is that the kind of mother I will be too? Isn't this inevitable?"

"That question has already been answered, remember?" Tarrion answered strongly. "When you told Paarthurnax about your father. About your fear of going down the same path as him, and do you remember his answer? 'I sense you have passed through much evil, and made into what you are by evil, yet I do not sense that evil in you'. As for your mother…. Don't be like her."

"Do you honestly think it is that simple?!"

"Yes! Just don't. Your mother was distant? Be as close as you can be. Your mother was cold-hearted? Be as warm and caring as possible. She showed no love? Show it. Love more and love harder than her….. What you missed in her, be that. Be everything you think a mother should be."

"Assuming I can ever be one. I still don't know if I can even have children or be a mother."

Serana looked at Tarrion. He had gotten up and now stood in front of her. The first rays of the sun now carefully looked over the mountains and entered the room. A deep red light slowly filled the room and they saw each other. Serana was still frustrated and angry. Tarrion was calmer, yet no less frustrated. He took her hands and gave them a slight squeeze.

"Neither do I." he answered and he tried to calm himself more. "But I do know one thing. If you are afraid of what you might do as a mother…. Of what you might become, that you might end up like your own mother… yet without trying… you fail by default. Your parents set a bad example of how to be parents… so, when the time comes, be the best parent you can be. Show them that, just because you're a Vampire, that doesn't mean you are a bad parent. Show them that you are a good person. They did it wrong… so do it right."

Serana stood petrified and looked at him and once again saw why Tarrion had the capabilities to be Thane, Harbinger and Archmage.

Wisdom.

Kindness.

Patience.

Calmness.

Love.

He neared her and gently grabbed her face and wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb.

"I don't know if we will ever have children, Serana. But I truly hope we will. Maybe not today, or tomorrow…. But one day. You asked me if I ever thought about having children. No, I haven't. But now… now that I am with you… and now that I know that you will be the best mother one could ask for…. Would I want children with you?... from the bottom of my heart, yes. Absolutely."

And Serana felt herself growing warmer and calmer. She felt his hands on her face and took his wrists.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

She gave him a slight smirk and before he could react, she grabbed his waist and threw him on the bed. Before he could recover, she was already on top of him and grabbed his wrists again, making him unable to move. With a sly smirk she kissed him and whispered in his ear.

"We should be quiet though. Rayya might hear us otherwise."

Tarrion smiled. "Very well then…. But don't think I'll make it easy for you."

And Serana smiled to herself as Tarrion kissed her neck, knowing that at least that part of her dream would become real.

=End of Chapter=

=Author's notes=

So…. I'm back. Sorry it took that long, but I have been busy with a lot of stuff. Nothing serious, but enough to keep me occupied for a long while. I actually planned on releasing this chapter on New-year's day, but oh well.

At any rate, I hope you liked the chapter, and I do hope you stay tuned for the next part.