Word Count: 1028
Truth be told, Remus wants nothing more than to rest. It feels like they have been traveling for years, though he knows they've only been out of England for a day or so. By now, he and Tonks have found Dumbledore's allies (the names of whom were left to Alastor, though Alastor isn't here to guide them anymore) in three different countries. Their time on the road has seemed endless, and he is grateful that they end up in a little park in France.
"You know, I've always had this fantasy of climbing the Eiffel Tower and just…" Tonks frowns, shrugging. "Well, honestly I never gave it much thought beyond climbing the bloody thing."
Remus rolls his eyes. "Perhaps climbing isn't the best thing to do while you're…" He clears his throat, blushing. It is still so hard to wrap his mind around the fact that Tonks is pregnant. It scares him more than he'll ever admit.
Sometimes he wonders if he should have stayed gone. Harry had shamed him for leaving Tonks; maybe trying to go with those three had been the wrong idea. Maybe he should have just disappeared, never to be seen again.
He shakes his head. There's no need to let his mind go there. All that matters is that he is still here. His own self-esteem issues mean nothing in the long run. He is here, and he is going to be a father, and he had better get used to the idea because it's happening whether he likes it or not.
Tonks snorts. "How thoughtful," she says, slipping her hand into his. "I promise I won't climb any great monuments until after the baby is born. Scout's honor."
"Were you ever actually a Scout?"
Tonks makes a face and pulls him toward a pond in the middle of the park. Remus watches as the swans swim along, graceful and elegant. He remembers his mum telling him stories about the ugly duckling whenever he would fret over his scars. He wonders if he ever grew into a swan. Merlin knows he only ever sees a monster.
Stop that, he tells himself. Now is not the time.
"Everything is going to be okay," she tells him. "You know that, don't you?"
Does he know that? Surely he must, or he would have gone mad by now. Sometimes he thinks optimism is the only thing that keeps him going. Maybe things aren't great now, but they have to get better. Maybe his head is in a bad place, but he knows it is only temporary and it will pass, and Tonks is by his side to love him through the worst days.
They're about to continue through the park when he feels the temperature drop. Remus shudders. It's a distant feeling, but he can feel the dread creeping up on him.
"Dementors," Tonks whispers, and Remus nods his confirmation.
Before, when things were still normal, a Dementor attack could be written off as a fluke. After Harry's attack two years ago, and the confirmation that the Dark Lord controls the infernal beings, Remus knows it isn't a mere coincidence. Maybe they aren't officially fugitives, and his face has never appeared on a wanted sign, but he knows that there is a target on their backs. It is his understanding that Bellatrix Lestrange in particular wants Tonks dead.
He sees the first Dementor, then another. The Muggles may not see them, but their presence is felt. The few tourists become distressed all of a sudden, panicking as they look around.
Remus steps in front of Tonks. He knows she can take care of herself, but he knows he needs to protect her and their unborn child. What sort of father would he be if he didn't fight for her with everything in him?
Another Dementor appears, then another, and another. It's almost like a swarm. The air grows colder, and Remus feels sick to his stomach.
Why is he here? Hasn't he always been a little bit useless? It should be James or Sirius here. They had always been so much braver than he could ever hope to be.
Remus shakes his head. "No," he whispers. He raises his wand. "Expecto Patronum!"
The silver wolf bursts forth from the tip of his wand. Tonks echoes the spell, her own wolf joining his.
"Remus, my love," she whispers, watching as the dark creatures dart backwards, "I do believe now would be an excellent time to leave."
Before he can say anything, he feels a snagging sensation in his navel. With a pop, they disappear.
…
They're in another park now. Remus doesn't know which one, only that it's raining. Fat droplets pelt his face, leaving him sputtering.
Tonks is quick, transfiguring a stick on the ground into an umbrella, which she holds over them, grinning. "My hero," she says with a soft laugh.
"I didn't do anything," he argues. "You're the one who got me out of there."
Tonks shrugs, wrapping her free arm around him and guiding him along. "Doesn't matter. Your first instinct was to protect me. To protect us," she says, and Remus glances at her belly. Tonks isn't showing yet, but he knows there is life growing in there.
He's spent so much time beating himself up, always thinking he isn't good enough, but he has done something great. Maybe he will always have these doubts inside his mind, but it's okay. Even if he isn't perfect, he is a good husband; it's time that he remembers that.
"So, where are we?" he asks.
The rain is too heavy to tell anything apart or recognize anything.
"A park in Amsterdam," Tonks answers. "Dad's maternal grandmother lived here, and we visited when I was small."
"You don't by any chance have a fantasy about climbing the windmill, do you?" he teases.
"Well, as it happens…"
They walk along, laughing and smiling, and Remus starts to feel better. He makes a promise to himself that when this war is over, he and Tonks will travel again. When they do, they will do so as a family on vacation, and it will be a glorious day.