Chapter 10: You've Always Got a Friend
Hey guys, thanks for coming back for another chapter. Just a quick note before we get into it; at the end of the last chapter I asked if you'd rather have two shorter chapters a week, or one longer. From the responses I got, I'm going to start going with one longer, just because I don't have the time at the moment to commit to two longer chapters. I'll get back to it as soon as I can, but from now on I'll only be updating on Tuesdays. Thanks for all your understanding! On with the chapter...
Clary leaves the next morning. It's not easy for her to leave Jace, or for Jace to let her go, but deep down they both know that this is what's right. While Clary could go literally anywhere in the world, she decided to go to Hawaii first. She'd always been envious of kids in her class who would come back from summer vacation and talk of nothing but their holiday on the island.
She'd decided she was going to go once she was old enough and had enough money, but her busy schedule stopped that from happening. Outside of fulfilling her childhood dreams, she wants to be able to be at one with nature; slow down for a little while and appreciate everything around her.
When she gets to her little house later that day, the first thing she does is go out onto the deck and sit in a rocking chair for a while, just watching the world go by.
She fills the next few days by swimming, going on hikes and paddle boarding, not necessarily avoiding other people, but sticking to herself where she could.
As much as she doesn't want to, she frequently thinks about Jace. What he might be doing, if he was really okay with her going, what he thinks about her now. They'd agreed to only call each other if something had gone wrong, so they hadn't talked since he dropped her off at the airport.
After her dad died, Clary's mind used to wander into dark places, and there were only two things that helped to get her out. The first was getting together with all the guys and either trying to write music, or 'jamming' as Kit liked to call it in Simon's garage. Since she couldn't exactly do that now, she had to go for the other option; running.
She used to run until she couldn't breath, pushing herself harder and harder until it felt impossible to take another step.
As if driven by some outside force, Clary slowly gets up from the chair she was sitting on and gets changed into clothes more suitable for running. After putting on socks and shoes, she goes outside and onto the road and just begins running.
She didn't bother bringing any headphones, so she was running listening to nothing but the trees, the birds, the water and her own breathing.
The further she runs, the more she can feel her worries just melting away, as if being left on the path behind her. She reaches a hill, and just pushes herself harder to run to the top. She's fitter now than when she was a child, and able to push herself harder and faster.
When she finally reaches her breaking point, she sits down in the grass on the side of the road, just panting for a while, trying to catch her breath. At some point, she lays down in the grass and watches the clouds lazily drift across the sky, unburdened by any problems the people below them may be facing.
When Clary's satisfied that she's caught her breath, she slowly stands up and begins making her way back to the house, not feeling the need to push herself nearly as hard.
Maybe it was because she now had a destination instead of a never ending road in front of her, or it could have been that she felt like she was picking up the problems she'd dropped along the way, but she suddenly felt the burden on her again.
There was no way she'd be able to run forever; it was better to face it now and figure out where it was coming from. By the time she got back to her house, the sun had set and she was no closer to figuring out the solution to her problem than when she'd left the house.
Why was it that running seemed to get rid of the problem? If even just for a moment? Sure. it distracted her, and there was a release of endorphins, but that couldn't be it.
Was it that she felt like she was running away? She sat down and tried to think of a few times that it'd helped her in the past; it started after her dad passed. But then she'd become too busy and didn't really have time to run anymore until after her mom had passed away, and she'd kept doing it after her brother left.
And suddenly something clicked. Clary liked running because it meant she could leave the people who'd left her. The need to run intensified each time someone left; she'd crave the burning in her chest and the pain in her legs because she thought the physical pain was a distraction from any other pain she might have been feeling. But when it came down to it, she liked having the control of being the one left.
And as much as Jace had promised he wasn't going anywhere, it was a promise that Clary just couldn't trust anymore, because people only had a certain level of control over whether they stay or go.
Her dad always promised that he would come home. Her mom promised she wasn't going anywhere for a long, long time. She knew her parents didn't want to leave her, but they didn't have a choice.
It was almost like some part of Clary was begging her to leave Jace, just for a little while so she could prove to herself that she could survive without him. Losing her dad hurt, but losing her mother and brother in the same week had nearly killed her. And there was a possibility that losing Jace would do the job.
She had to take this time away from Jace to prove to herself that losing him would not kill her; she needed to know she could survive without him.
With this new found explanation as to why she had to leave in the first place, Clary picks up her phone to call Jace and explain everything to him, but stops. It wouldn't be fair to call him now. Not when she knew she wasn't coming home. She'd left Jace with the intentions of writing music, and she hadn't even begun to do that yet. And this sort of thing; the realisation she'd had, was probably better to tell him face to face anyway.
Despite having written no music yet, Clary felt that Hawaii had served its purpose, and she was in want of a new destination.
Another place she'd always wanted to visit was Japan. She'd been there on tour a few times, but she'd never had the opportunity to actually explore the cities and experience the culture. It was also a place she felt like she'd be able to blend into the crowd and meet new and interesting people.
She's been in Tokyo for a couple of days, just seeing the sights and finding hidden gems around the city. She'd even started writing; probably nothing she would actually use in her album, but it was a start.
She wakes up the next day, with no real plan of what the day was going to contain. She rolls over to check her phone, and sees that she has a few texts from Kit. She's about to read through them when his face flashes up on her screen.
She answers the call. "Hello?" she asks, yawning.
"Clary. I'm in the lobby but they said they're not going to let me up without your 'permission', so you've got to come down and get me," Kit says rather quickly, sounding rather annoyed.
"As in you're in the lobby of my hotel in Japan?" I ask, completely confused.
"Yes,"he says as if it's obvious. "Now please come down and get me. People are starting to stare."
"Okay. I'll be down in a minute," Clary says, getting up and beginning to take off her pyjamas.
"Thank you," Kit says, and then hangs up the phone. Clary quickly throws on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and heads down to the lobby, where Kit is, amazingly, waiting. Clary didn't really believe he was here until this moment.
Clary clears everything up, and then her a Kit head up to Clary's room.
"What are you doing here?" Clary asks, with a mixture of shock and amusement.
"Well I was already in Japan, and then I saw photos of you here as well, so I called Magnus and he told me where you were staying," Kit says simply.
"Right," Clary replies, still trying to figure everything out. "Are you here for a specific reason?"
"To hang out," Kits says as they reach Clary's door. He holds his hand out for her room key, and unlocks the door after she hands it to him. He comes into the room and flops down on her bed, "so no Jace, huh?"
"Nope," Clary says, laying down next to him.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asks.
"Nope," Clary replies again.
"Thank god," Kit says, and then sits up. "Well, get ready. I've got a big day planned for us."
"What have you got planned?" Clary asks, sitting up.
"You'll just have to wait to find out…" Kit says.
As Clary stands in the bathroom getting ready, Kit begins to read the book on Clary's bedside table.
Once they're ready and out on the street, Kit tells Clary to 'follow me'.
"So you're still travelling I take it?" Clary asks. He seemed to start travelling the moment the band stopped, and it seemed like he hasn't stopped since.
"Ahh, not as much at the moment. I've written and recorded my first album. So that's going to be released soon. Getting one last bit in before everything goes crazy again." Kit says, pushing the button so they can walk across the street.
"Hey congratulations," Clary says, softly nudging him with her shoulder.
"That's actually part of why I wanted to find you," Kit admits, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I was hoping you'd give it a listen - tell me what you think?"
"I'm sure it's going to be amazing," Clary says, and they both begin walking as the sign goes green, "but if you want me to, yeah, of course I'll listen."
"It's just kind of nerve wracking doing it all alone you know…" he says.
"Trust me, I know. I haven't even been able to properly start writing," Clary admits.
"You'll get there," Kit reassures her.
"I'm trying," she says.
"Well maybe this will inspire you…" Kit says, looking up at the big building in front of them. "The Sompo Japan Nipponkoa building."
"Kind of looks like a fancy insurance building," Clary tells Kit.
"Oh it is," he replies. "But I think you'll like what's inside."
Intrigued, Clary follows Kit into the building and they ride up in the elevator together. It opens up to a small gallery. Her eyes are instantly drawn to what she thinks is a Picasso, and she is shocked when she finds out it is.
"What?" she asks Kit, looking at the piece. It was his replica of the fourth version of Sunflowers, which was one of her favourite series of paintings, and the reasons that Jace got a sunflower tattooed on his thigh.
"And over here," he tells her, clearly amused by her stunned expression, "is a Paul Gauguin."
They look through the small gallery for a while, before heading out for breakfast together.
Kit takes her to a few more locations around the city, and introduces her to people he'd met the last time he came here.
They stop into a small restaurant for dinner, and about half way through the meal, Kit gets serious.
"Okay look, I've got something to confess," Kit says.
"Okay, shoot," Clary says, not quite gauging the seriousness.
"I wasn't actually in Japan. I was in Hong Kong on a layover, but Magnus called me and asked me to check up on you," Kit says.
"Check up on what?" Clary asks, putting down her chopsticks. She didn't like that people were talking behind her back, and she didn't like the thought of them being concerned for her.
"Just that you were doing okay. I heard you left kind of abruptly," Kit says gently.
"So you didn't come here just to hang out with me, or for me to listen to your album. You all just had to make sure I was okay to clear your consciences?" Clary says, starting to get angry but talking under her breath so she doesn't start a scene.
"No Clary, it's not like that," Kit says quickly, trying to solve the issue before it becomes any bigger. "We just want to look out for you. And make sure everything's okay."
"Everything's fine," Clary answers.
"Then what happened?" Kit asks.
"I just needed to clear my head. Get some perspective on things." Clary answers. "And what happened here? We had fun today, right?" Kit nods. "We always used to have fun. We never bothered with this serious shit. When did we turn into this?"
"You're right," Kit says, leaning back in his chair. "I'm sorry. I'll tell them you're fine, and that they need to mind their own business."
"Who is they?" Clary asks, leaning forward and resting her arms on the table.
"Alec, Magnus and Simon," Kit answers.
"So not Jace?" Clary asks. She needs to make sure he's still okay, even if she would be super annoyed with him if was asking people to check up on her.
"Not Jace," Kit confirms.
"Good," Clary says, leaning back into her chair.
"And also you know, just on the topic of getting back to normal… I literally landed this morning and came straight to your hotel, so I don't really have anywhere to stay tonight…" he says, clearly trying to suggest something.
"You can stay with me," Clary tells him, "but you better not kick me in your sleep."
"I can't make any promises," Kit replies, smiling. And just like that, they were back to their usual selves. Joking and having fun for the whole walk back to the hotel.
As promised, when they get back up to Clary's room, Kit plays his new album for her, and Clary gives him a few notes, but says that the whole album is absolutely amazing.
As she sees Kit off the next morning, so decides two things. Firstly, that she has to make more time for her friends when she gets back to L.A. And secondly, that she has to do a better job of blending in wherever she goes next.
I've got plans for some old characters to come back and to introduce a new character (well, new to this story) in the next chapter! Who do you think it will be? Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! See you next week. I hope you have a great week and week end :)