So sorry for the long delay everyone! I have been extremely busy and distracted the last couple of weeks. I just found out that my husband and I are expecting our first child so things have been a little crazy. I promise I'll get back on track soon. Hope you enjoy! Please review!
-Ecorley
Brooke POV
Over the last couple of days, I had thrown myself into my work in a desperate attempt to keep my mind off of the guilt I was feeling about what had happened to Eden. Steve kept insisting that it wasn't my fault and even Bucky had gone out of his way to assure me of the same thing. All I could remember from that night was the way Eden had looked when Steve and Bucky had brought her home that night after it was all over. When I saw Bucky bolt from the apartment after seeing the news report, I had instantly jumped to my feet to follow him. Before I even made it two feet towards the still opened door, I had felt a hand on my shoulder.
Steve had pulled me around to face him and all I had seen was worried filled eyes, "Stay here" he had whispered firmly.
I had looked towards the door, shaking my head, eyes brimming with tears, "No...I..."
Steve had squeezed my arm reassuringly, "Brooke...no...stay" he said with a tone of finality.
He had given me a quick kiss on the cheek before taking off out the door to follow after Bucky. I had immediately gone to the window overlooking the street and caught one quick glimpse of him before he disappeared in the direction of the liquor store. I had sat on the couch to wait, crying and shaking the entire time. The tears didn't even stop when Steve called to tell me that it was over and Eden was okay. I had begun babbling uncontrollably over the phone to him about how Eden and Bucky were going to hate me. My perfect, loving boyfriend had tried to calm me down, promising that nobody could ever hate me. I had tried really hard to believe him but a small part of me knew that if the roles were reversed, I might be a little resentful. When the three of them had finally arrived back at the apartment, Eden covered in blood, I had immediately tried to apologize to her but she had stopped me before I could even get a word out.
She had said it wasn't my fault and that there was no need to ask for forgiveness but I knew Eden better than that. I had seen the look in her eyes as she said it and knew even she wasn't quite sure she believed those words. It hurt to think that things between me and Eden might never be the same. For 20 years, she had been my best friend...the sister I always wanted...and now I felt like I may have just lost her.
The thought of having Bucky mad at me was almost as upsetting as having Eden hating me. I knew he didn't open up to many people. Steve had told me that time and time again because he didn't want me to feel like Bucky had something against me if it seemed like he kept me at a distance. He didn't know about the conversation Bucky and I had on Thanksgiving before he had arrived to dinner. I had never told Steve that his best friend had confided in me about proposing to Eden. I kept it private for two reasons: First, I had promised him I wouldn't tell anyone. Second, it gave me some affirmation that Bucky really did trust me, at least enough to tell me something he hadn't even told his best friend yet. Oddly enough, it was Bucky that made me feel better that night.
Steve had held my hand as he drove me home, continually reassuring me that I had nothing to feel sorry about. Once we had reached my apartment, I had begged him to stay with me instead of driving back to his home. I was feeling sick to stomach with guilt and wanted to cling to the one thing in the world I felt I had left. He had smiled and gave a nod, shutting off the engine of the car before jumping out and making his way around to open my door for me. His sweet, old fashioned gesture didn't even bring a smile to my face. That night in bed, Steve had pulled me against his chest and held on to me tightly. I'm not even ashamed to admit how I had clung to him, crying silent tears into his shirt. I had fallen asleep with him still whispering in my ear that everything was going to be okay.
It was now Wednesday and I was in the process of kicking off my heels after a long day of work. Once the last shoe was removed and kicked into the back of the closet, I walked over and fell back onto my bed still dressed in my work clothes. I was staring up at the ceiling when I heard my phone beep that I had a text message. I glanced at the clock on my night stand and smiled, knowing exactly who it was texting me. For the last couple of weeks, Steve had gotten into the habit of sending me a message around 5:30 each day asking me how my day at work had been.
I loved my job at the Smithsonian and found it very challenging. Work was a place I didn't dread going to everyday. There were always new people to talk to and things to keep me busy which over the last couple of days I had been very grateful for. As much as I loved my job though, my favorite part of the day was still coming home each day and waiting to see that text message from Steve pop up on my phone.
I reached over to my side table and picked up my phone, my smile growing wider as I read it.
Steve: Hey babe, how was your day?
I sat my phone down on my stomach for a moment while I closed my eyes and thought about how lucky I was to have Steve in my life. I had dated people before...I had even been in a few semi-serious relationships but they all paled in comparison to what I shared with Steve. I was never one to rush into romance, always wary of saying those three little words that I felt could either make or break a relationship. I had said those three words to two other men in my life before and each of them had eventually gone on to break my heart. I had vowed after the last time never to be the first one to say it. As sure as I was about how I felt about Steve, I still couldn't bring myself to tell him that I loved him. I knew he cared about me just as much as I did him but that same insecurity would pop up each time I thought about saying it. I had nearly let it slip out a few times but quickly caught myself. For now, I was satisfied just being with him and was more than willing to wait to hear those words from him first.
Brooke: It was good. You heading over?
Steve: Already on my way...be there in five.
With a squeal of happiness, I sat up quickly and started unbuttoning my blouse before walking over to my close to change clothes. I had just zipped up my jeans when I heard Steve call my name out timidly.
"Brooke?" I heard from the living room.
I smiled as I slipped a sweater over my head. I had given Steve a key to my apartment a few weeks ago and told him he was more than welcome to use it whenever he came over instead of having to knock. The few times he had used it, he always seemed a little wary to just walk right in my apartment. It was almost comical the way he would cautiously call out my name each time he entered. I don't know what he expected to walk in on...it wasn't like he hadn't seem me undressed before. I was guessing that his old fashioned habits were going to be a little harder for Steve to break.
"Coming" I called back, checking myself in the mirror one last time before heading to the living room. Steve was standing in the living room with his back to me looked at different pictures hanging on my wall. I stood watching him for a few moments as he stared intently at one of me Eden, dressed up and ready for a night on the town. I couldn't help but smile and blush slightly when I saw him reach out to the picture and trace my face with the tips of his finger.
"Hey" I said softly.
He turned around to face me and the sweet smile on his face only grew wider, making my heart beat just a little faster.
"Hey there" he said, walking over and leaning down to give me a chaste kiss on the lips, "Mind if I use your shower? Bucky and I just got done working out" he said, watching me carefully at the mention of Bucky.
For the last couple days, I had been asking about Bucky and Eden, gaging Steve's reaction so I could figure out if he was being honest when he said they weren't mad at me. The few times I had texted to check on Eden, she had given me short replies and that had only caused me further anxiety. I still hadn't gotten up the nerve to call her, too scared of what I might hear in her voice. I always tried to give off a fearless attitude, never showing any kind of fear or weakness. Only Eden, and to some extent Steve, knew that it was all a façade. Deep down, I was just as insecure as everyone else; I just put on a better show.
"Oh...sure...did he happen to say how Eden was doing?" I asked casually, looking down at my hands and not meeting Steve's eye.
He let out a soft sigh and I felt warm fingertips under my chin, lifting my face to his. His fingers caressed my cheek softly, "Give her time babe" It was the same thing he had been telling me for the last two days.
I nodded my head, forcing a smile to my face.
Steve grabbed me gently by the shoulders and pulled me into his chest, laying his chin on the top of my head as he held me. His warmth enveloped me and I felt instantly shielded from every bad thing in the world...just being near someone as pure and good as Steve made me feel better.
"You know, you could always call her..." he said carefully.
I shook my head slowly, never pulling away from him and instead holding on tighter. "I'm scared" I whispered hoarsely, instantly embarrassed at my admission. I couldn't take it back now so I bit my lip and waited to see how he reacted.
Steve inhaled sharply and pulled me into his chest even more, "You never have to be scared of anything...not while I'm around...and certainly not when it concerns Eden"
I let out a deep breath and raised my face to him. It was another one of those moments where I wanted to tell Steve that I loved him.
What's it gonna hurt Brooke? You know you love him!
...because every time I say it, I get hurt.
Not by him...never by Steve!
Steve was looking down at me, patiently waiting to see how I would respond. He opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted by his cell phone ringing.
He looked at me apologetically, glancing down at his pocket and then back at me. I was honestly grateful for the distraction and nodded my head for him to answer it. I thought it was super sweet that he always considered my feelings before answering his phone now, making sure it didn't bother me. It was tough on me, always wondering when he would be called away the next time and for how long. Each ring of his phone could mean a week or more of him being away doing God knows what.
He pulled it from his pocket and turned it around so I could see that it was Bucky calling. He pointed towards my bedroom and I knew he was asking for some privacy. I nodded my head and accepted his quick peck on the cheek before he walked down the hall, answering the phone and greeting Bucky. I could hear him in my bedroom, talking softly on the phone to his friend, careful not to be overheard. I flipped on the TV in the hopes of taking my mind off of why Bucky might be calling.
Steve was gone for only about 5 minutes before he walked back in the living room, finding me on the couch flipping through the channels absentmindedly. He flopped down on the couch beside me and I looked up to see him grinning happily at me.
"What?" I asked curiously.
"That was Bucky..." he said, still smiling before snatching the remote out of my hand and turning off the TV.
I rolled my eyes and turned to face him, a small smile on my lips, "...and?"
"They want us to pick up some food and come over tonight" he said, tossing the remote back on to my coffee table.
"They?" I asked cautiously. I had the strangest feeling that it was Bucky that did the asking. I didn't want him talking Eden into doing anything that she didn't want to do. If she needed time away from me, I was willing to oblige in the hopes that our friendship would get back to normal.
"Well actually, according to Bucky, it was Eden that wanted us to come over" he said.
I looked up at him hopefully, "Really?" I said, my voice full of both surprise and excitement.
He nodded his head and reached out for my hand, "I told you she wasn't mad at you...just needed a little time Brooke, that's all"
I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me and I threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting my lips connect with his. He was the one who finally pulled away, slightly breathless and touching his swollen lips with his hand.
"I need to go take a shower before we leave" he said, nuzzling his face to mine one last time before I unwrapped my arms from him.
"Make it quick" I said, skipping ahead of him to my bedroom to find a pair of shoes to put on. I heard him pick up his gym bag and follow me, chuckling softly.
I sat on the bed nervously as I waited for him to shower and get dressed. I barely even gave him a second glance when he came out of the bathroom, a damp towel wrapped around his waist and his muscled chest on full display. I was staring up at the ceiling running scenarios in my head and worrying about what I would say to her.
Should I act normal? Like nothing happened? Do I apologize again?
I was still lost in my own thoughts when I heard Steve clear his throat. He was now dressed in jeans and a dark button up shirt. He walked over to my closet and reached inside, pulling out one of his leather jackets that he kept there and slipping it on. Every time I walked into my closet and saw those few articles of clothing that Steve left at my house, I couldn't help but smile.
He reached his hand out to me, "Come on babe" He pulled me up from the bed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we made our way out of the apartment. After a quick stop at the Japanese restaurant down the street from my apartment, we made our way to Eden and Bucky's. The trip was nerve wracking for me and when we finally pulled into the parking lot, I didn't move to get out of the car.
"Brooke?" Steve asked curiously. He had already opened his door and was about to step out when he realized I hadn't made any attempt to reach for the door handle or unbuckle my seatbelt.
I looked over at the apartment building, biting my lip nervously before looking at him. He gave me a soft smile and then got out of the car, shutting the door gently before making his way around to my side. He opened my door and kneeled down beside it.
"Get out of the car" he prodded gently, "It's going to be fine, I promise" he said, reaching out for my hand. I took his warm hand with my shaky one and let him pull me from the car.
I held onto it tightly as he led me into the building and up the stairs to Eden's apartment.
"Ready?" he asked.
I was about to tell him to give me a minute before he knocked, just so I could gather my courage, but he had already reached out and rapped his knuckles on the wood.
I looked up at him flabbergasted and he simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I always keep my promises...it's going to be fine"
I could hear footsteps on the other side of the door and I felt Steve squeeze my hand as the handle of the door turned.
It was Eden that suddenly appeared, flinging it open and smiling wide at me and Steve. I stood there, unsure of what to do. The smile looked genuine...she didn't look mad...in fact, she looked happy to see us, to see me.
I knew the moment she threw her arms around me that Steve was right...everything was going to be just fine.