Lands Unknown part 11
A pleasant bliss had come over Serana as she tilted her head backwards. The water was hot and she could feel the hot air around her. She stroked her hair behind her as she placed her head on a soft pillow and she let out a deep sigh. The bath may not be as large as it was in their own home in Falkreath, yet the feeling of absolute comfort was stronger here than there, but that may be because of the past few days… or the past year.
As she lay there with her eyes closed, feeling her troubles fall from her shoulders… even if it was for only a few moments… she remembered all that came before this and all that happened in the last year went through her mind. Their voyage southward to Elseweyr, the storm that chased them, their shipwreck on Akavir, their capture by the Tang Mo and then the Ka Po Tun. The deal they made with the previous queen of Telom, their long and tiring journey to find Tosh Raka's remains… only to find him still alive and their journey back.
She also remembered what happened between her and Shazra and how she had scared her into submission. She knew Shazra had shaken it off by now, but she also knew Shazra would never try something like that ever again.
She shook her head and returned to the bliss she felt before. The warmth around her as the rippling in the water played on her skin. A smile returned to her face and she couldn't even sharpen her senses to notice someone walking towards her.
She felt a hand softly stroking the hair on her temples and her smile widened. She briefly opened one eye and saw a kind gaze in his eyes. She pulled him closer and felt a familiar feeling when their lips met. She had kissed him like this once in Ancestor Glade and it felt just as good then as it did now.
For the long time that they have been on Akavir, both of them had been busy without time for themselves. Because of this Serana had only noticed in the last few weeks that Tarrion's hair had grown longer than ever before, now almost reaching his shoulders. Before they arrived at Rakash Tol his beard had grown as well, but he was able to shave it off… with difficulty. The Ka Po Tun had no real ways to remove hair since they were all covered in fur and it would make little sense to them. Thus Tarrion left his hair for what it was.
He pulled away and entered the bath next to her and she immediately placed her leg on his lap.
"It feels a bit stiff," she said.
He nodded and gently started rubbing her calve. "You want me to spoil you a bit?"
"Hmmm… not just a little bit."
He continued rubbing her calve… softly squeezing where he thought it to be necessary, and it seemed Serana was enjoying it. An expression of pleasure was on her face as she had her head titled backwards. It was clear she had been wanting this for a while.
He gently raised her leg and kissed her knee.
"The other leg too?" he asked, and without saying a word she held out her other leg.
Using a special healing spell to soothe her even further Tarrion gently massaged both her legs and kneeled in front of her. The water reached his shoulders and a soft 'ah' escaped Serana's mouth as he moved upwards.
"Hmmm," she smiled and she looked at him. "You know how to treat a lady."
"I have a few years of experience."
Her face changed as he said that, but he smiled at her. "I know you for those few years… so I know by now what you like."
"Oh," she said and her smile reappeared. "I was about to say."
"You think I have secretly been massaging someone else?"
"No… but who knows what you have been doing before you met me."
"You know," he answered. "Unless the detail is insignificant or I have forgotten about it altogether, there is nothing from my past that I have kept from you."
She smiled briefly before looking at the arced ceiling and she found herself lost in thought as he rubbed her legs. He noticed how she was lost in thought and stopped.
"Are you alright?"
She sighed before she answered. "Yes… I just… I miss our friends."
He nodded. "I know… and I feel the same."
"I mean… I am glad you are here, Tarrion," she quickly said and she smiled at him as he continued. "Even if we are stuck on Akavir for the rest of our lives… I am glad you are with me. But I still hope we can one day return to Tamriel… and I hope we can do so sooner rather than later."
"It is going to be difficult… if not impossible to go back without help."
"I know," and Serana sat up straight. "but Tosh Raka is now the only one who can help us. Shazra sent word she is still too busy reorganizing her city."
Tarrion nodded. Being the new queen of Telom, Shazra was occupied with the daily affairs of ruling. She had no experience in that regard, but she was wise enough to ask for advisors and councilmen that could help her. But this did mean that the deal they made with the previous queen… to have a ship within the year… had been put on hold.
"I know," he said. "but we've been here for over a week now and I think Tosh Raka has had enough time to issue enough orders to get things going in Ka Po Tun. I think it is time we ask him for what we were promised."
Serana smiled at the thought of going home and they looked each other in their eyes.
"Let's go home," he said.
She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him. "Make sure you can breathe underwater."
Confused at first at her suggestion, he felt her pushing him backwards and he quickly cast a small spell before being forced underwater. Serana pressed herself against him and kissed his lips and neither resurfaced until at least half an hour later.
Later that day both searched for Tosh Raka. Eventually they found out he again was too occupied to listen to them. This frustrated them both, but to clear their heads, they decided to look around in the city. The last week they spend most of their time in their quarters, resting from their long journeys. It had been well over a year since either of them had been able to sleep in peace, and since they left Skyrim for that exact reason, to be able to rest easy without worries, both had taken their time to rest and recover.
The celebrations in Rakash Tol were still in full swing, even after a week. Their Lord and Emperor had returned after centuries and while people still had their work to do, they did so with a smile on their faces and many still exchanged gifts.
It seemed that Rakash Tol was the hub of all trade in the empire of the Ka Po Tun and all kinds of merchandize was to be found in its many markets. Many of the traders and merchants were even able to speak the Tamriellic language, explaining that it had been passed down to them from many generations ago, when humans had arrived from Tamriel. Both Serana and Tarrion had read about the invasion of Tamriellic forces on Akavir, and both were certain that the exchange of languages back then came from captured humans and Ka Po Tun and both agreed it was not something to revisit. This did not mean however that they did not make use of it, and they bought a number of items from the markets that either found useful.
At one place Serana decided to stay for a while when she found out it sold potions and other healing items. She herself was highly versed in Alchemy and she wondered what the Ka Po Tun could do with the ingredients of Akavir. The owner was honoured to have them brows her wares and she excitedly told them about Alchemy amongst the Ka Po Tun.
"Yes, yes… must come in. Must see my wares… good wares. No place better in Rakash Tol."
Serana smiled and let the owner lead her past shelves filled with potions with all kinds of different colours, shapes and sizes. From the common healing potions that Serana knew to the ones that would increase one's strength. But there were also potions that she had never seen before.
"See… this potion… for good jokes," the owner said and she pulled a purple potion from the shelve. "You drink.. not much, only little… you become very small. Fit on hand, so small. Other potion to make large again. Must know… small potion first… then large potion. Large first then small…. Problems happen. Not good."
Serana chuckled when she imagined the effect of these potions, but they became stranger and stranger the more she saw.
"This potion change you… make you animal. Not many buy anymore. Tried to turn to Dragon… not working.. so no buying anymore."
The owner looked from Serana to Tarrion who browsed on the other end of the isle and softly spoke to her. "That your man?" she asked and Serana nodded carefully. The owner smirked and grabbed a small vial from the top shelve. "You put in piece of your fur. He drinks… you become… ehh. He not control himself for you. He want you more than ever."
Serana giggled slightly. "I'm not sure if I need that."
But the owner shook her head. "You try," and she pushed the vial into Serana's hands. "No money… you try. You thank me later."
Tarrion waited outside while Serana paid and the owner gave her some more advice. "This best place in Rakash Tol…. But must say, Telom even better. More healers there. Good against poison and sickness. Best in Ka Po Tun."
"They are not here?" Serana asked. "In the largest city?"
The owner shook her head. "Telom closer to Tsaesci. Tsaesci have poisons on weapons… and teeth are poison too. So Telom must to be good with healing. Best healers there… can heal anything."
Leaving the store with her pouch quite a bit lighter she joined Tarrion and they returned to the castle.
"Did you buy anything useful?" he asked her, but she only smiled at him.
"I don't know… I guess we'll find out."
Much later when they finally managed to have an audience with Tosh Raka, they presented their plea to him.
"We are grateful for the hospitality that we have been given," Tarrion spoke and he meant it. "We have been treated like welcome and revered guests and we thank you for it. But we both also look to the days to come and we do not wish to stay here for too long. We would like to return to Tamriel. We had a deal with the previous queen of Telom, that we would find the remains of Tosh Raka in exchange for a ship that could take us back to Tamriel. Since she is no longer with us, and Shazra has taken her place but is now too busy with her young rule… we would like to ask for help from you yourself, Tosh Raka."
The large Ka Po Tun that sat on the throne looked down on the two humans in front of him and listened. He expected that they would ask eventually and he knew what to say.
"I agree with you, Tarrion of Tamriel," he said. "when you say that you had made a deal with the previous queen and that she should have honoured that deal. I have heard of it and made inquiries. But it seemed she had no intention of fulfilling her end of the bargain. When you returned from Kamal there was no ship prepared for you to return. There was no ship that was being made that would help you return. There were not even plans for them. Since she had exiled herself I understand that no ship was built, yet the complete lack of any attempt to make it happen… since the bargain was to give you a ship within a year… proves that she betrayed you."
This was news to both Tarrion and Serana and they looked at each other. They did not know why the queen would try and betray them, but since she was burned to ashes it mattered little.
"The bargain was struck between you and her… but she betrayed you, and I, as your lady explained to me not long ago, 'am not under any form of oath to uphold someone else's promises'."
This angered both of them. Tarrion and Serana felt outraged by this since both of them had gone through so much to help the Ka Po Tun only to be turned down because the one that they made the bargain with was killed.
"I do not see it that way," Tarrion said and the guards that guarded the throne-room looked up. "The bargain was struck between us and the previous queen of Telom… and I would agree that you are not bound by her promises. But since you were the one that killed her, regardless of your reasons, we cannot return now. We could have 'made her see reason' to keep up her end, yet you killed her before we could. You are not bound by her oath, true. But you did cause her to be incapable of fulfilling hers… permanently."
The guards clearly wanted to draw their weapons and teach them a lesson. Talking to one as revered as Tosh Raka, the Dragon Emperor himself, was something they considered to be blasphemy. But Tosh Raka did not move and stared for a few moments at Tarrion before showing something that seemed to be half smirk, half grimace.
"I see that you know your way around court intrigue," he said and it was not clear if he was annoyed or amused. "and I see your case."
He seemed to think for a few moments before standing up. "Very well… I will consider myself to be only half responsible… and thus I will only fulfil half of the bargain. I will arrange for a ship to be made so that you can return to Tamriel."
Serana and Tarrion sighed in relief knowing that they could finally return, even though it would likely still take a long time.
"However," Tosh Raka continued and Serana noticed a slight smirk on his face, like there was a condition to his 'assistance'. "You will not make it to Tamriel. Not because I will not allow you or because any of the Ka Po Tun will try and stop you… but because of the very reason you landed on Akavir in the first place; the Tsaesci. They caused that storm that brought down your ship… and it was them that caused you to strand on our shores. We are stronger than the Snakes… yet at sea they have always beaten us. Sail if you will… you will not make it past the Serpent's Head, the area where you landed. They will kill you or let you strand again, and I will not give you a second ship. You have one change, so… if I may," and his smirk was now clear. "I would urge you to first make sure the Snakes will not try and prevent your escape from Akavir."
Arriving back in their quarters Serana first mumbled a few things under her breath about where Tosh Raka could put that ship.
"Again," she sighed and she dropped on a large chair that was covered with pillows. "Again we have to do just 'one small favour' for others before they can even consider helping us. We helped his entire people by getting him back, and still he asks us to do more."
"That's royalty for you," Tarrion agreed and he dropped on another chair. "First ask for all the favours, and only give a few afterwards while saying that they never owed you in the first place."
Serana scoffed. "Remember that Tang Mo leader? He said that he would not ask us to go to the Tsaesci, since that would be suicide. I have a feeling that Tosh Raka will not show us the same courtesy."
"You think he will try to send us to the Tsaesci?" Tarrion asked.
"Yes. If, and there is a big 'if'… if he told us the truth and the Tsaesci will try to stop us… either by attacking the ship or creating another storm… we will have to prevent that somehow. How though, I have no idea."
Tarrion thought about what Tosh Raka said and what Serana just repeated. "Do you think he told the truth… that the Tsaesci caused that storm? Can they even do that?"
Serana sighed deeply and shook her head. "Honestly… I don't know. I know that you can, but you are Dragonborn. I thought it was impossible for anyone to actually become a Dragon, but Tosh Raka was able to do so. So can the Tsaesci cause a storm? I am almost inclined to say that it won't surprise me. Why not? The rules about what should and should not be possible are fading anyway. And let's face it, Tarrion," and she conjured a slight smile. "We have seen some strange things… even before we arrived here."
Tarrion chuckled and nodded. "Agreed. Our lives are stranger than I ever thought possible. I am a Dragonborn on the Dragonland of Akavir… I have just met someone who can turn himself into a Dragon. Ha!" and he laughed. "Maybe I should try and become a Dragon myself."
Serana chuckled slightly, but stared at the floor after he said that. Tarrion saw there was a slight smirk, but it faded as her eyes stared blankly at the stones and he touched her shoulder.
"Hmm?" she woke from her trance. "Oh… sorry. I just… tried to imagine that."
"And you don't seem to be fond of it."
Very slowly she shook her head. "I think…" and she hesitated. "I think I would be terrified."
He nodded and he thought he understood. Having been granted the power to transform into a Werewolf or Vampire Lord was one thing. Both knew it was a power that came from the Daedra.. otherworldly beings of incredible power and surpassed only by the Gods themselves. But to be able to transform into something as powerful as a Dragon by the sheer force of will alone… Tarrion agreed with Serana that it would be terrifying.
Yet a part of him did not find it terrifying at all. A few hours later he found himself almost longing to try. He understood that his Dragonblood was maybe calling to him that this was only natural. To reach the heights of his kin.. the Dovah themselves. And as much as he tried to ban those thoughts from his mind… to remind himself that he was only human, the call seemed to only grow stronger.
That night, when Serana had already fallen asleep, he found himself turn around in bed and for the first time in his life, he felt there was something wrong with him.
He stopped turning and left for the main room. The soft, cloth curtains that separated the bedroom from the main room brushed past his body, but it felt irritating on his skin. Sitting down on a large bench, covered with pillows, he tried to organize his thoughts. When that didn't work he paced around the room for a while, only to leave for the balcony. The moon was waxing yet it would still take a while for it to be full.
Waiting there in the moonlight made him remember when he last felt this way… yet it was not as strong then as it was now. After he faced Alduin for the first time in combat, right after he learned the Dragonrend shout, he was tasked with creating a cease-fire in Skyrim. He had summoned the Jarl's and leaders of both sides to High Hrothgar, yet it took a long time for either side to arrive. In that time he stayed there and found himself unable to sleep. The Shout caused him physical pain at first to know it. He had no idea if a Dragonborn had ever learned that Shout, but he thought it was unlikely… and he understood why a Dragonborn should never learn it.
Endlessly two sides in him warred against each other.. and both sides warred against themselves. His Dragonblood hated the Shout. The Shout caused him to hate his own soul. Both told each other there was something wrong with them, and both agreed with it. He remembered how Master Arngeir had found him one night curled in a corner of High Hrothgar, and he shook his head at Tarrion.
"I have warned you, Dragonborn. This Shout has no place in the Way of the Voice."
He remembered how he chastised Arngeir in turn. "You have no idea what it does, Master. This is not about the Way of the Voice…. This… it seeps into my very being."
"Something that all Shouts do, like we have already taught you," was the simple answer. "Yet you decided that it was a price you were willing to pay. So carry this burden then… for there is no way to undo it."
He remembered how he cursed himself under his breath, facing both sides and the waging war within him… eventually regaining control over himself. Shutting out a part of him… letting those emotions no longer harm him. Yet now he felt it again, and this time even he could not shut it out. He had grown in those years, there was no doubt of that. If he would have felt then what he felt now… he knew it would break him. But even after years of experience. After having grown in power, wisdom, intelligence and resilience to the complexity and conflictions the Shouts gave him… it felt like he was being torn apart.
The power to become a Dragon, a true Dragon. Was this meant to be? Was he always supposed to find out that it was possible to become a Dragon? Is that the true purpose of a Dragonborn?
The cold wind pained him and he went back inside and dropped himself on the bench again. The pillows were uncomfortable and he threw a few of them across the room and buried his face in his hands.
Nothing felt real anymore. His future came crumbling down now that he felt his soul call out to him to take his rightful place in the skies of Mundus. To let his title Dovahsebrom no longer be a mere moniker. Let it be Truth and let it become reality.
"Yes," he unknowingly whispered to himself and he was surprised that he did. "No," he said louder. "I must…. I can't."
The longer he thought… the greater his pain and his rage became and he felt his throat getting hot with an inner fire.
A soft blanked stroked over his back. The sudden touch frightened him and he recoiled, falling on the floor and staring at who was behind him. Her softly glowing eyes looked at him with pity and love. She had pulled the covers from the bed and had wrapped herself in them. They now hung over her body on the ground, almost like a dress that was meant for a giant.
"Can't sleep?" she asked with a gentle smile.
He stared at her for a few moments and he relaxed a bit, but did not answer as he looked away. Her smile faded a bit and she held out her hand to help him up. After several thoughts shot through his mind he grabbed her hand and let her lift him to his feet.
"You can talk to me," she said softly, almost whispering and not letting go of his hand. "I want to help if I can. Please let me."
He wanted to shake his head, saying he couldn't explain. He wanted to apologize or say she could never understand. This was not something she could understand. How could she?
"I don't think this is something you can understand."
She squeezed his hand slightly and moved closer to him. "I'm not asking you to let me understand…. I am asking you to let me help."
He forced himself to look at her and as soon as he looked into her eyes, he saw that he had to. That he wanted to. He was not about to turn this into a second Solstheim… never again.
He nodded and sat back on the bench. "I should not have made that joke."
Serana sat next to him and waited for him to continue.
"I said that I should try to become a Dragon myself…. But I didn't mean it. And now…. I feel that almost every piece of me tries to tell me that I should. But I don't even know what that would mean for me."
"What do you mean?" Serana asked kindly and she could see Tarrion's brow furrow further and further.
"This is not the same as my lycanthropy," he shook his head. "I know that comes from the Daedra… I know it is something that comes from 'outside' of me. I do not think that I should become a wolf just for that… because I am not that. I have an ability, nothing more, and I gained that through a ritual. I have it an accept it… but I do not relish it. But my Dragonblood is different. I was born with it. I didn't realize I had it until that day at the Eastern Watchtower in Whiterun, but I have always had it. It is a part of me that didn't come from the outside…. and now…"
He stood up and started pacing around the room.
"For my entire life I knew what I was. What I had to do and where I had to go were questions that I had just like everyone else. But I never doubted, not even a second, about what I should be. I wanted to be a man that is willing to fight for what he believes in. To fight for peace and the aid of the helpless. I…." and he sighed. "I wanted to be a good man. Someone that I can be proud of when I look in a mirror. Someone I know my parents could smile upon… someone I know my wife could love and my children could look up to."
Serana's face changed into shock. She knew that Tarrion was indeed a good man that was all of those things.. but she knew he was about to say that it had changed. And that how he looked at her would also have changed.
"I am not sure anymore of what I should be," he continued. "Now that I know that it is possible to become an actual Dragon… maybe I should be one. Is that the purpose of the Dragonborn? Is it meant to be that I find out how to become a Dragon and… I don't know.. take my rightful and destined place among the Dragons? Is that the final goal of a Dragonborn? I know I have these powers for a reason… but I always thought the reason was to protect people and the world from threats they cannot defeat. To fight the battles others never can. For so long I agreed with the Way of the Voice, like I have been taught… but now I am not so sure. Or maybe the Way of the Voice was long ago a way of achieving the power to become a Dragon. And maybe Tosh Raka has perfected it and achieved that 'final enlightenment'. Is this where the 'Way' leads?"
Serana looked at her love with growing concern and even fear. The pale light of the moon came from the outside and his body cast a large shadow. Every time he faced her she saw his face shrouded in the shadow and it made it all the more frightening.
"I… I don't know who I am anymore," Tarrion concluded. "Am I Dragon… or man?"
Serana waited a few moments for him to continue.. but he seemed empty for now.
"Please.. Tarrion. Sit," she beckoned him and to her relief he obeyed. The moonlight now lit half of his face, but it did give her a slight ray of hope. She swallowed a few times to make her throat less dry. Facing him she grabbed his face and looked him in his eyes.
"You…" she started and she could hear her voice trembling. "You are Tarrion. Your parents were both Nords… humans, named Arron and Ellia. Your two sisters are named Elaine and Thalia. You were born human. Your mother gave birth to a normal, healthy, human baby. You lived your life as a human… filled with good choices and bad mistakes. You have friends in Skyrim… both humans and elves alike."
He tried to look away but she made him face her. "Your powers do not turn you into anything," she continued. "Power in itself does not change you. It is what you do with it that makes you into who and what you are. Your past does not define your future… I know that better than anybody… but you can learn from it. Your past shows that you are all of the things you said you were. A good son.. a valued friend… you are these things already. A loving husband and a good father… you can still become these things. But that does not depend on your powers. Your Dragonblood does not change you into either a good man, or a monstrous tyrant."
She sighed and softened her grip on his face. "I am a Pure-blooded Vampire. I could have gone after that prophecy and try and turn the world into our play- and feeding ground. That prophecy determined said that I had that role to fulfil, and my father thought that was my destiny… to die so all Vampires could take over the world. But I chose differently. Your powers make you the most powerful man on earth….and yes, you can become something to fear. But do you choose to be that?"
Tarrion shook his head. "I am sorry, Serana, but this is not like your Vampirism. My Dragonblood is not something I can undo. I did not become a Dragonborn.. willingly or unwillingly… I was born with it."
Her thumb rubbed his cheek. "I know, Tarrion. I know this is not the same as my Vampirism. But you have an identity-crisis. You question your future because you are not sure if your current… condition… allows you to have a future. I have been there, remember? And just like you helped me then, I will try and help you now… not by telling you what to do… but by assuring you that as long as you try and stay with me, my love for you will not lessen. I will love you then as I love you now… with all my heart. You can choose to leave me, but I do not think you will even consider it."
"Never," he said.
"I know," she said and she kissed him. "But thank you for saying it anyway."
She sighed again and thought about how she should voice her thoughts. "I said I was terrified if you would become a Dragon. I am not afraid of Dragons.. I have seen my share of them. But I indeed fear that it will change you. I trust you enough to know that you will do everything you can to stay the man I have grown to love… but my fear is still there that, as a Dragon, you will 'find your calling amongst your fellow dragons', and that I cannot follow you."
She wiped a tear from his cheek and gave him a slight smile. "But I also know that you would die before you would let that happen. I will still likely faint if you show up one day in Dragon-form… but I will not doubt that it is still you; Tarrion the man…. And Tarrion my husband."
"We have waited for too long with that, haven't we?" he asked and a slight smile appeared.
She nodded. "We have. So as soon as we return to Skyrim, we're getting married."
"I assume you have made plans for it?"
"Of course I have," she answered amused, and happy to see his mood lightening. "I have imagined it since I was young. Every girl dreams of her wedding, and I was no different. I imagined large cakes and a hundred-and-one desserts. Enough wine to get all the guests drunk and it will continue for at least three days."
"A 'hundred-and-one desserts'?" Tarrion grinned. "I might get fat if there are that much."
"Then you'll have to get back in shape after the wedding."
"With what kind of exercises?"
"Those are yet to be determined," she said with a wink.
As Serana continued with more of her wedding plans Tarrion dozed off and it took Serana a while before realizing he had fallen asleep. Far from being offended she smiled at him, lay on top of him and pulled the covers over them. She pulled one of his hands over her waist and held the other in her hand. She smiled one more time at him and buried her face in his neck and kissed the base. After she took a deep breath through her nose, taking in his scent, she drifted off into peaceful dreams.
=End of Chapter=
=Author's Notes=
After the progression of the previous chapter, not much happened here, I know… but I have to set up the next one. Especially answering what people said about Tarrion maybe becoming a Dragon himself.
I had a few people saying how cool it would be if Tarrion found something on Akavir that could turn him into a Dragon. I'm not sure if it still stounds as amazing, but at least it will be interesting….. IF it happens. Who knows? I know what will happen in the rest of the Arc… I'm just not telling you guys :)
But that is it for this chapter. Till next time.