Note: Today is my husband's birthday! I tried to get this out before he got home from work. :) Thank you so much for all of the lovely comments! I love them all! You guys are amazing!
Marinette sat on the couch beside Alya and watched as Mylene ran around, throwing stuff. She lit a match and set a playing card on fire, throwing it to the ground. It caught more papers on fire and Nurse Bustier ran in to throw water on it.
Mylene screamed at them and ran to the tables, knocking them over. Marinette brought her knees to her chest, hiding in her arms with her hands over her ears.
Adrien let the cigarette fall from his lips as he peered inside at the commotion to find Mylene with a something in her hand. She stood up on a table and began to tie it to the light.
"Shit!" Adrien ran in and grabbed Marinette from the couch, shielding her again.
Alya got lost in watching Mylene tie the other end around her neck. "SOMEONE!" Alya burst out as Mylene kicked the table out of the way and dropped.
Nurse Bustier froze in her spot. It was the second one in the last few days.
"God damnit." Adrien cursed under his breath and shoved Ivan at Mylene. "Get your damn girlfriend down."
Ivan shook his head and ran up to her, trying to grab her kicking legs. Adrien shook his head as he held Marinette to his chest, covering her ears from hearing Mylene choke.
Men in white ran in to cut her down, shoving Ivan out of the way. "They really need to up our pay." The man helped the other to take Mylene away.
Marinette burst into tears as she trembled. "Jesus." Adrien sighed as he held her against him. "Fucking dysfunctional staff. How hard is it to save people?"
Ivan fell to his knees and stared at his trembling hands as he was hit with heartache. He panicked with wide eyes as he realized that he almost lost her.
"Ivan?" Nurse Bustier walked up to him and touched his shoulder, causing him to pant and swing at her. "It's okay."
Ivan shook his head as a blind rage set in. "It's not okay! Nothing in here is okay! You just stood by and watched!"
"I-" Nurse Bustier tried to explain herself, but gave up.
More men in white came in to take Ivan away after knocking him out.
"Who's ready for group therapy?" Nurse Bustier tried to smile as she took in all of the shocked patients. "Me either." She mouthed and coaxed them all to the group therapy room.
Everyone sat around in a circle and Dr. Fu sat in his usual spot.
"I understand that we have had some tragedies the past few days, but we must look past that. So, let's start off with how we all feel. Let's start with Juleka today." Dr. Fu clicked his pen and got ready to take notes about them all.
"I feel okay today. Nothing too spectacular. Nothing really worth talking about." Juleka shrugged and Dr. Fu wrote something down.
"Nothing at all?" Dr. Fu pushed her for answers.
"I guess I feel… alive? Is that an emotion?" Juleka winced as she tried to piece together how she felt to no avail.
"It can be." Dr. Fu wrote down how she felt and moved on to Rose.
"I feel thankful that Juleka is still here." Rose felt tears burn at the corner of her eyes again as she took Juleka's hand in hers.
"Yes. We are all thankful that she is here with us." Dr. Fu took more notes and peered over at Nino. "Nino, you're about to be a free man. How do you feel?"
"Relieved, but also sad. I'm going to miss everyone here. But I do plan to visit. Especially, my man here." Nino put his arm around Adrien's shoulders.
"Thanks man." Adrien smirked at him and fist bumped him.
"What about you, Adrien?" Dr. Fu stared at him with special interest. "How are you doing?"
"I'd rather not say." Adrien crossed his arms and stared at him with an annoyed expression. "Especially after the shit you two pulled."
"Ah… I assume you're talking about your G-tube. It was necessary." Dr. Fu wrote something down.
"I mean locking me in a small room." Adrien burst out and caused everyone to be in shock.
"Let's save this for our one on one sessions, hm?" Dr. Fu wrote something down and tried to move on to Alya, but Adrien interrupted him.
"Do you not see how corrupt this all is? How this is all not okay?" Adrien shook his head at Dr. Fu. "Or are we just going to ignore the two patients that tried to off themselves in your facility?"
"Guests." Dr. Fu corrected him and Adrien rolled his eyes. "Alya?"
Adrien gripped his hands into fists, causing his knuckles to turn white.
"I've been okay. Having a bit of an issue dealing with Nino leaving, but it's okay." Alya sniffed as her heart ached.
Nino took her hand and rubbed the back of it. "It's okay. I'll come visit you too. Every day if I can." Nino kissed her cheek.
"We'll continue to work on it." Dr. Fu smiled at her and moved on to Marinette. "Are we ready to speak today, Marinette?"
She shook her head and Adrien ran his fingers through his hair, causing more loose hairs to circle his fingers.
"Adrien? Care to explain how she feels or are you not going to help us today?" Dr. Fu watched him slap his thigh and sigh.
"She just saw Mylene. What do you think she's feeling? You know what? How do you think every damn person is this room is feeling after seeing two friends try to off themselves? Do you ever think about how insensitive you are being?" Adrien rolled his eyes and spoke up for everyone.
The group erupted in nods and words of agreeance with Adrien's words.
"Look. This happens all the time. You have seen people break before. If I focused on the negative at all times, how would that help you all? Do you really want me to sit here and discuss what you all saw? No, I am trying to take your minds off of it. So sit still, listen up, and answer my questions." Dr. Fu was fed up with the group of people and was emotionally exhausted.
The group stopped talking and sat still without making a sound.
"Now, let's move on to my situational questions." Dr. Fu started a new piece of paper and held his pen in position.
"Do these situational questions involve working out?" Kim raised his hand and Dr. Fu sighed.
"No, Kim." Dr. Fu went through his questions and picked one. "Alright. Marcy is late for school. She comes to class with a black eye and hides in her hair as she quietly sits down. Everyone has heard that she has a new boyfriend. Marcy says that he can be a bit much, but that it's okay because he says he loves her. You hear her say that all the time and you want to give her advice. What do you want to tell Marcy? Kim?"
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HER!" Kim suddenly yelled out and Dr. Fu held up his hands.
"No one is accusing you." Dr. Fu backed up. "It was a random question, Kim."
"NO! THIS IS BULLSHIT! I DID NOTHING WRONG!" Kim stood up and kicked the chair away from the circle. He began to pace and panic, gripping his hair with his hands. "I SWEAR! I- I DIDN'T MEAN TO. I- I DIDN'T MEAN TO HUG HER SO TIGHT. DIDN'T MEAN TO PUNCH HER SO HARD. I- I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW, MAN!"
"It's all right, Kim. Why don't you grab your chair and…" Dr. Fu was interrupted by his screams and protests. He pushed a button on his radio and two orderlies came in to detain him.
They pulled down the side of his pants and knocked him out with a sedative.
"Thank you." Dr. Fu thanked his workers as they left the group with Kim between them. "Now, Max. How about you?"
He swallowed hard as he watched Kim be drug off. Numbers ran through his head as he began to make statistical equations up.
"There is 1 suicide for every 25 suicide attempts and 129 suicides per day." Max rattled off numbers and Dr. Fu skipped him.
"Juleka?" Dr. Fu stared at her and watched her try and piece words together.
Group therapy went on and felt like it lasted ages; before, they were dismissed.
Adrien lead Marinette back to the front desk. He grabbed a cigarette and placed it between his lips as he took the match. He walked Marinette to the porch.
Adrien leaned on the banister and lit the end of it. "You know… I didn't use to smoke these damned things." He blew out smoke and stared at Marinette. "Habit I picked up in here."
Marinette swallowed hard as she watched him breathe in the poison like it was air.
"Just one step closer to death, really." He chuckled as he ran his hand through his hair. "Don't you think? It's ironic that they let you smoke these. That they even supply them."
Marinette got lost in the trees that were off in the distance.
She closed her eyes and let the breeze flow over her face. She nodded in response to him as he sat his cigarette up between his index finger and the wood. He flicked it off the banister from between his fingers.
He laughed as it landed in a bush, setting it on fire. "Look, look!"
Marinette opened her eyes to watch people run out to put the bush out.
"I love when that shit happens. Look at them freak out like ants that had their scent lines erased." Adrien laughed harder as he watched them down below. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled down at them. "BETTER HURRY UP!"
He watched them ignore him and Marinette peered over at Adrien and giggled.
Adrien smiled at her and touched her face with his hands. "There she is. You really should laugh more. It's beautiful." He captured her lips with his own as she gently touched his wrists with her hands.
"Adrien?" Nurse Bustier interrupted them. "Time for your second feeding."
Marinette grabbed his hand and followed them back to the room.
000
Marinette tossed and turned in her bed as she tried to relax. Adrien peered over at her from the novel that he was engrossed in. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head as she tried to not be distracted by him.
"Can you please talk to me? I promise I won't yell at you." Adrien sighed as she threw the blankets over her head.
Adrien got up from his bed, closing his book. He got in bed with her and she rolled away from him. "Okay, stop. You're being silly." He grabbed her and stilled her so that she couldn't get away. "Look at me, what's wrong?"
Marinette peered into his eyes and cried out of embarrassment. "Cramps."
Of all the words that he expected to hear from her mouth after so long… he didn't expect it to be that one. His name? Sure. To stop? Of course, but not that.
He stared at her with a blank gaze; before, he realized what was wrong with her. "Hang on." Adrien got up and left the room to grab Nurse Bustier.
Marinette curled into herself and shivered as the pain radiated around her hips and lower back.
Nurse Bustier came in with pain meds that would not affect her medications. She waited for Marinette to get up and headed for the door.
Adrien went to follow, but she stopped him from going. "Wait here." Nurse Bustier raised her hand and Adrien stopped in his tracks. "She'll be back."
Nurse Bustier lead her to the public bathrooms and showed her where all of the necessities were located at. Marinette showered and let her cheeks turn red from embarrassment as she realized what Adrien had to deal with. For some odd reason, having a period had slipped her mind.
She used what was provided for her and got dressed. Marinette swallowed hard as she walked back to her room, finding her bed made.
Marinette sat on the edge of her bed and swallowed hard, hiding in her hair. "Sorry."
Adrien sat beside her and brushed her hair out of her face. "Don't be sorry. Thank you for trusting me." He smiled at her and kissed her lips. "And for talking to me. Even if it was about your uterus."
"God…" Marinette hid more in her hair, wanting to kick herself.
Adrien burst out laughing and sighed as he peered into her eyes. "Part of being a woman. It's whatever. You think I don't want to complain about all the shit that I deal with being a guy?" Adrien laughed at himself and shook his head. "Guys have their own issues."
Marinette sighed as she leaned back on her palms. "So embarrassing."
"Why? It's part of life. Don't be afraid to tell me things. Seriously." Adrien smiled for her and captured her lips with his own. Adrien sighed and thought for a moment. "Would it help if I shared something guys have to deal with that I don't talk about?"
Marinette worried her bottom lip and thought for a moment.
"Look, it's only fair." Adrien shrugged as he thought for a moment. "Okay. Like getting hard. Getting hard is super annoying and it happens when it wants. I don't always control it." He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Sometimes, it even happens for no damn reason at all. And don't get me started on the pain that comes with going through puberty."
Marinette raised an eyebrow. "Wait, guys go through pain too?"
"Yeah. Is that really that shocking? Growing pains suck." Adrien rubbed his eyes as he laid back on her bed.
Marinette ran her fingers up his stomach, pushing his shirt up. "Growing pains? Like... getting taller?"
A short laugh burst from his chest. "If only."
Marinette thought for a moment and realized what he meant. "Oh my god!" She threw her pillow at him.
Adrien burst out laughing and Marinette started to giggle. He grabbed the pillow and shoved it in her face, causing her to fall back onto the bed.
They laughed until they couldn't breathe. "I don't even know why that was funny." Adrien caught his breath. "It's not even funny. It sucks."
Marinette giggled at him longer and tried to control her breathing, gasping for air. "I can't…"
"You can't what? Laugh more? Because I bet you can." Adrien began to tickle her and she screamed and rolled away, laughing harder.
"I can't breathe…" Marinette gasped for air as she grabbed his wrists and fought against his onslaught.
Adrien laughed as she sat up and pinned him to the bed by his wrists, straddling his hips. "Well, you got me pinned. What are you gonna do with me?"
Marinette bit her bottom lip as her giggles calmed down. He burst out in a quiet laugh as she tried to not laugh. "Well, I'll just…" Adrien slipped his hands out from under hers and tickled her inner thighs, causing her to squeal and fall onto the bed.
"Wait, wait." Marinette gasped the words out as he began to tickle her sides until she couldn't breathe. She kicked and shoved him, grabbing his hands.
Adrien panted as he smirked with her on top of him again. Marinette got lost in his eyes. "You fuck me… we'll have to have the sheets changed again."
Marinette blushed at his words and smirked. She ran her hands down his chest, stopping at the band on his joggers. "They're gonna stain anyway." She captured his lips and ran her hand beneath the band.
"Shit." Adrien cursed against her kiss as she caressed along his length with her fingers.
000
Adrien wrapped his arms around her side and slid his hand down her arm and intertwined his fingers with hers along the sheets. "So, what happened at school that made you mute?"
Marinette worried her bottom lip as she thought about it. "What or who?"
"Both?" Adrien kissed along her shoulder as the moonlight filtered into their room.
"No one you would know." Marinette sighed as she zoned out.
"What did they do to you?" Adrien squeezed her hand tighter.
Marinette shook her head and he rolled her over onto her back. He peered down at her and brushed her hair out of her face. "You can tell me."
"It's a long story and my voice is tired." Marinette sighed and yawned behind her hand.
"Sounds like you're tired. Not just your voice." Adrien chuckled as he grabbed her tablet from a table. "Here."
Marinette took it and sighed as she opened the only app on there, which was an art one. She began to write with her finger for a while to the point that Adrien had started to fall asleep. She nudged him in the arm with the tablet, causing him to wake up.
Adrien cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's okay." Marinette snuggled beside him and hid her face in his chest as he began to read what she had written.
"I've always been different. Ever since I can remember. I've never fit in and I've never felt like I belonged. All throughout school I was bullied. Boys would try to protect me, but that didn't matter. It didn't keep the means girls from picking on me, mocking me, making fun of me. I got gum thrown in my hair and my mom spent hours trying to get it out. I was called names for how I dressed and how I wasn't very good at math. Being half asian has its stereotypes. I don't fit in most places. Other asian people will meet me and as soon as they find out I don't speak mandarin? They stop talking to me. I don't fit in anywhere. Everytime I opened my mouth, teachers would shut me down. Everytime I opened my mouth, I ruined friendships by saying something wrong. So, I stopped talking. It seemed easier. I started cutting in homeroom. I thought about how I had heard that it would help. So, I thought why not?" Adrien sighed as he became sad. He set the tablet down and peered at her. He watched tears fall from her sapphire eyes. Adrien worried his bottom lip and brushed them away. "Why not turned into how deep can I go, didn't it?"
Marinette just nodded. "I got addicted to seeing the blood. To feeling the pain. To feeling something. Addicted to the rush. I eventually cut deeper and deeper and it never felt like enough." She clenched her eyes tight and Adrien leaned over her to kiss her. "My skin vibrates and still begs for it." Her voice began to fade as she became worn out.
"I'm not much better than you." Adrien gave a short laugh and ran his fingers through his hair. "Wanna know my story? You've heard from Dr. Fu, but not from me."
Marinette nodded as she slowly felt herself fall asleep. Adrien chuckled at her and poked her in the cheek. "Should I tell you tomorrow?"
Marinette shook her head and peered up at him with a smile. "No, go ahead."
"When I was really little, my parents threw me into modeling. My mother thought it'd be this great idea to make kids clothes, during the time she was pregnant. So, by the time I got old enough… they began to put me into modeling. I think I was in a few commercials as a baby too. Anyway, as I grew older I started to do more and more photoshoots and fashion shows. Mostly, for my parent's brand." Adrien sighed as he played with Marinette's dress. "As I got older… my father started to check my weight and muscle mass. He hired a personal chef that kept track of calories I took in and made sure to cook me specific foods. My mother eventually got sick. There was nothing that we could do. It was incurable and the only thing we could do… was watch her enjoy what was left of her life. She soon passed away before Christmas and my father was broken." Adrien swallowed hard as he tried to fight back tears.
Marinette touched his cheek and Adrien clenched his eyes shut, causing tears to fall. She wiped them away and smiled at him as he slowly opened his eyes.
"He began to regulate what I ate. To measure my BMI all the time. But no matter how much I lost or gained, it wasn't enough. I began to pretend to eat my meals. I hid them in glass jars under my bed. Every so often I'd sneak them into my backpack and throw them away on the way to school. I began to stop sleeping because I was counting calories in my head. It kept me up at night and made it hard to sleep. I stopped feeling when I'd try to talk to my father and all he would do was lecture me or talk about his next design line. I realized I wasn't enough." Adrien sniffed and rolled his eyes at himself. "I went to my room and pulled out scissors from my desk and decided, like you, why not? So, I made my first cut along my inner thigh where no one would see it. With modeling, I had to be strategic. I began to cut where no one could see. Until, the day my father hit me." Adrien swallowed hard as he tried to not think about it. Tried to not let it get to him.
Marinette clung to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She wouldn't let him go and he sighed as he held her in return. "My father was mad because I had screwed up a massive photoshoot. I had argued with him and the photographer. I refused some of the clothing and poses. It didn't go over well when my father found out. I came home to him waiting for me on the stairs. He had his belt in his hand and I knew it was for me. I had been too much. I had gone too far. I knew I deserved it. I didn't even cry when he took me into his room and asked me to take off my shirt." Adrien swallowed hard and felt Marinette hold onto him tighter.
"Didn't even scream when that belt hit my spine. I just grit my teeth and took it. By the time I got to my room… I was furious. Broken and furious. I tore my room apart and punched holes in my wall. My back was bruised and bleeding. That's how Nathalie found me. I scared her. I didn't care anymore. I slit my arms open." Adrien turned one of his arms around and Marinette saw scars running down it. She lifted his shirt and ran her fingers along his side, feeling raised skin.
Adrien rolled onto his back as she began to push up the legs of his joggers to find more scars. She crawled back up to his head and pushed his joggers down his hips and ran her fingers along his hip bone, where lines of raised skin sat. She ran her fingers down his inner thighs, finding millions more.
"I didn't stop. It was never enough. When I shoved the pills down my throat, I panicked. I made myself throw up and I hit my head on the toilet, causing more blood. I was so happy that I was dying." Adrien sighed as she continued to explore his body with a trembling hand, discovering new scars and new wounds.
"You still cut?" Marinette's eyes went wide as she noticed a new one on his inner thigh.
"When you sleep. I don't. So…" Adrien moved her hand and pulled his joggers up. He got up and walked over to grab a book from his shelf, bringing it over. Adrien sat back on the bed and opened it to the middle page, revealing that it was hiding a flat piece of broken metal. "Broke it off the bottom of an old table in the common area." It had a jagged edge and wasn't the safest piece of metal to self- harm with. "It's shitty, but does the job."
Marinette touched it and felt it's rough texture. It was an infection waiting to happen. She worried her bottom lip and raised her dress. Marinette put the metal piece in his hand and wrapped her fingers around his, pressing the edge to the soft skin of her inner thigh.
Adrien's eyes widened as she touched his cheek and captured his lips, guiding his hand to slide it along her sensitive skin. She held her breath and let out a trembling moan as euphoria hit. The pain was welcoming and made her head spin. Her heart raced as a deep throbbing set in along the cut.
Adrien sighed as she pulled his hand away from her thigh. She broke the kiss and Adrien touched beside the wound that they had made.
Blood seeped from the wound and he bent down to slowly lick along it. It stung and Marinette hissed as he wrapped his lips around it and sucked to stop the bleeding.
She tilted her head back and moaned as he ran his tongue along her inner thigh. He crawled back up her body and put the sharp metal piece away. "You hide a lot of things. And you're good at it."
"Years of practice." Adrien chuckled as he put the book back on his shelf. "My father would go through my room on a regular basis."
Marinette nodded with a warm smile as she examined the wound. It seeped more blood and Adrien ran his thumb along it, wiping it away.
Marinette took his hand and brought his thumb to her lips, licking it off. He parted his lips and smirked, touching her chin with his thumb and index finger after she had let his hand go. Adrien ran his thumb along her bottom lip and leaned in to capture her lips with his own.
She sighed as he leaned her back against the bed. Adrien crawled between her legs and ran his hand up her thigh as he ran his tongue along hers. He brushed his soft lips against hers, causing her to softly moan.
"We should stop." Adrien broke the kiss to softly speak against her lips.
Marinette gripped his shirt and rested her forehead against his. "What if I can't?" She slowly opened her eyes to peer into his love filled ones.
"Then don't." Adrien captured her lips again and she wrapped her arms around his neck.