A Little Family

There's a black dragon towering over him. Its wings are ragged and torn at the edges, and he can see sinew between the cracks in its scales. Eyes like coals glow in the darkness of what he assumes are the Deep Roads.

The dragon roars. He can hear the sound in his bones, can feel it worming its way into his head. He screams. He presses his hands over his ears but he can still hear it, and it sounds like a song, it hurts, it feels like his blood is boiling in his veins-

"Anders. Anders!"

In the end, it took Bethany's wailing to rouse Anders from his nightmare. His eyes snapped open and he shot up, one hand searching blindly for his daughter. Hawke reached out and grabbed it instead as she sat beside him on the edge of the bed.

"Nightmare?" she asked, after giving him a few moments to orient himself.

"Yes."

"I went to check on Bethy and heard you thrashing too."

"Ah. I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to disturb her-"

"She started it." Hawke pressed a kiss to their daughter's forehead. She had stopped crying by then and was fussing quietly, her tiny hands balled into fists. Anders reached for her, and Hawke placed her in his open arms.

"It was the archdemon again," he said. He shivered despite the reassuring warmth of the infant against his chest.

"Again," Hawke repeated, hollowly, her hands clasped at her lap. She didn't want to give voice to what they were both thinking. Didn't want to bring it to life.

"I wonder if I should try sending a letter to Nathaniel. Or maybe Oghren... No, I doubt he'd take this seriously. I want to see if anyone else who became a warden at the same time as me is having similar dreams."

"It can't be the Calling," Hawke said quickly. "You haven't been a warden that long."

"But I am the right age."

"Anders..."

The anguish in her voice broke his heart. He leaned into her and sighed.

"I don't want to acknowledge it either, love, but it's going to happen someday. We should be prepared."

"We only just found a way to be happy."

"I know. And believe me, I don't want to miss out on a moment of Bethy's life. But..."

Anders trailed off, sighed. It was just his luck, wasn't it? To finally have the life he'd always envied while he was trapped in the Circle – love, a semi-permanent home, a family – only to have it all torn away. He wished, not for the first time, that he'd never accepted the warden hero's offer to join their ranks. Perhaps he would have found a way out of the Circle and into Kirkwall anyway.

Hawke pressed her cheek to the top of his head.

"Who do you think will be the easiest to get a hold of? Maybe I can reach out to Varric. Knowing him, he probably has a connection to someone who can get a hold of your warden friends."

"That might be best. And the least risky option," Anders said. "I'm so sorry, love. We just built a life for ourselves here, and we have Bethy to think of-"

"Anders."

He stopped.

"This isn't your fault. I don't think you can control if some blighted archdemon is coming back, or if... if it really is the Calling. And you're not in this alone. Not anymore." She squeeze the hand she was still holding. "You're stuck with us."

He smiled in spite of himself. "I know. Thank you. And there's no one I'd rather be stuck with."

Anders tilted his head up to meet her eyes. They looked teary, even in the faint light of the moon that was filtering through the bedroom window.

He was struck, suddenly, by how much he loved her. How much he loved this life they'd worked so hard to build together after Kirkwall and the Circle. Marian Hawke hadn't given up on him, not once. And he wouldn't give up on her either.

Anders shifted to kiss her. Bethany, pressed between them, made a cooing noise.

"I love you both so much," he said. "And I'll fight the archdemon myself if I have to."

"I hope so. Isn't that your job as a warden?"

"Stopping a Qunari invasion and starting the mage revolution weren't enough? Don't I deserve a break?"

"I don't think either of us are going to have a break for the next eighteen or so years," Hawke said, nodding to Bethany.

"True. I might prefer the archdemon to raising a teenager, actually..."

Hawke laughed, just quietly enough not to wake their sleeping infant.