Author's note: This AMAZING work was written by my friend, Ashardalon125, as a gift to me. They let me post it to this series, and I am SO HAPPY with it! :D I did a few tweaks, but otherwise, this is all their genius! Hope you all love it as much as I do!

A DisaPsitrous Adventure

"Saiki! As my protege, I challenge you to a game of wits! Over the course of a night, you will endure many arduous trials, expertly concocted by my hand! Only by-"

No, thanks, I said, turning away from Kaidou. Judging by the runaway freight train that was Kaidou's monologue, he'd have been there for somewhere around two minutes, depending on how long his confidence held up. But he'd already read Kaidou's mind and gotten to the point.

Kaidou wanted to invite him to a tabletop gaming session.

It would be inaccurate to say that I disliked tabletop games. Rather, I had no strong feelings towards them. I didn't dislike RPG games, but he'd also seen from my father how some people acted in them. I cringed…

Besides, playing tabletop games was a great way to grab attention. People either wanted to ask you all about it, or wanted to humiliate you for it. Both things I don't need in my life.

"B-But you didn't finish listening…" Kaidou protested weakly, before he rallied a surge of confidence, stepping into my path once more like some sort of pushy solicitor. No, cross that: he was a pushy solicitor. "If you possess even an ounce of adventuring spirit, you will surely accept!"

Nope, I said once more, side stepping around him. I don't even have a millimeter, so I'll pass.

"But Saiiiiiki! I need more players! Right now, it's just Aren!"

Try asking someone else with more 'adventuring spirit'. I continued to stare straight ahead as I walked. If I could just get outside of the school before Kaidou said something truly incriminating, I'd be home free. The doors were almost in sight.

And then they weren't. Instead, they were blocked by an all-too-familiar, all-too-annoying wall of green.

"'Sup buddie?! Little buddie!" The wall, otherwise known as Nendo, greeted boisterously, raising a hand accompanied by a broad smile. "Thought I'd join up for some ramen!"

"There's no time for ramen, you plebeian!" Kaidou shouted angrily, clenching his fists in determination. Plebeian? What literature have you been reading? "Now is the time for action! Your wits are being challenged!"

"My fists are being challenged?" Nendo startled, looking around for the offender. "I'll show the idiot who dares challenge me!"

"You're the idiot! I said wits not fists! I'm trying to convince Saiki to join my game tomorrow night!"

Quick, they're distracted!

I tried to slip past Nendo, but that meathead took that moment to lurch forward, nearly tackling me when he leaned towards Kaidou, his grin broadening. "Oh? Who'd want to join a pipsqueak's game?"

"Y-You're just jealous because you'd lose!" Kaidou retorted, sounding more like a six-year old than a highschooler. Then again, sometimes the only true difference between those two age groups were the levels of hormones.

Maybe if I try now… I took cautious steps away as the two were at each other's throats. If I was lucky, I'd be out the doors by the time they figured it out.

"Oh yeah?! Well, my buddy and I will smash your game!" Nendo proclaimed, and reached out to scoop I to his side.

I sighed. Good grief. Luck's never on my side.

"Ah ha! I knew your undeniable lust for adventure beats in your hearts! Tomorrow, your mettle and minds will be tested in my most dire of scenarios, pushed to the brink of your abilities!" Kaidou proclaimed, jutting his finger into the air, before calming down and looking sheepish again. "And uh...food and drinks too."

Nendo's grin snuck up again. "And raaaaamen?"

Kaidou sighed. "Yes, and ramen."

Stop thinking with your stomach, you— I paused as Kaidou's meal plans flashed through his head. Aside from his mom's recently improved chicken noodle soup, I caught something that stopped me dead in his tracks. It seemed Kaidou had thought up a trump card.

He was planning to get some coffee jelly for a post-game snack.

I was suddenly in Kaidou's face. When does the game commence?

"A-A-At my place, tomorrow after school," Kaidou answered, suddenly pale. And just as quickly, I was walking away. Just as I was getting through the doors, Kaidou shouted after me. "Don't worry! We'll be making characters at my place together!"

Sometimes, Kaidou didn't know when to be quiet. Fortunately the bell marking the end of the school day just happened to ring a minute early, covering Kaido's voice.

Now, I just needed to figure out an excuse to get out of any future game sessions. I might've agreed to this one because of the coffee jelly, but I wasn't going to stick around for the rest of Kaidou's overcomplicated plots. Already, the ideas rattling in Kaidou's head were rivalling the speed of Akechi's thoughts, but were a lot more predictable.

If nothing else, it was a little bit of a challenge, but nothing worse than what I've faced before.

It seems God himself has chosen to punish my hubris.

As soon as I got within range of Kaidou's house, I picked up a familiar mind I wasn't expecting, and very strongly contemplated turning around. I could practically hear the angelic choir already, and that was without the omnipresent glow. Of course she'd find her way here.

But I'd already come this far, and I'd only have to endure a single session. It would just make that time much more annoying to deal with.

I hope Saiki is impressed by my character. I spent all night looking up how to make the best character I could!

I snorted. Not that I knew anything about making characters.

Teruhashi was nothing if not predictable. Still, I had to admit I was surprised she'd put so much effort into this. Of course, Teruhashi always dialed everything she did up to 11, so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised.

Knocking on the door, I could hear the collective mental gasps of the residents, from Kaidou's high pitched squeal, to Aren's brief surge of alarm, to Teruhashi's perfectly composed surprise. And of course, the eternal silence of Nendo's mind. Some things never changed.

"Ah, glad you see you made it!" Kaidou's mother greeted him brightly. "My Shun-baby's been so excited about having friends over!"

And maybe these games can help him perform as well as these other kids, she added mentally. I'm not sure about that one boy, though… He seems a little...simple.

Hey, Aren's not that dumb. Just a bit rough. But I kept that thought to myself while I was led into the dining room, where Kaidou had laid out his domain. The main bulk of the table was occupied with a large mat marked off with squares, and Kaidou himself sat at the head of the table behind a screen with dark and ominous designs. The whole image was topped by the fact that he had scrounged a black hood from somewhere and had wrapped his scarf across the bottom of his face like a bandana, doing his best at looking ominous behind his screen of folders. And failing, of course.

Any dramatic effect was ruined by the fact that he was still wearing a casual shirt beneath it, and the completely relaxed look of the other players, who seemed unaware of the absurdity of it all.

"Saiki! I see you have come to answer the call with adventurers whose hearts beat in time with yours! Now it is time-!"

"Hey, buddy, glad to see you here! Things were starting to get boring!"

"Saiki, what a surprise to see you!" Teruhashi said, smiling broadly before gesturing to the closest available seat. Which happened to be the one right next to her. Yes, what a surprise, indeed. "You can sit here if you'd like."

Glancing around the table, it seemed I didn't have many options. Aren was sitting to Kaidou's left, with Nendo next to him, leaving Teruhashi all alone on the other side. What'd she do to keep the others from snatching it up?

While there was a spot at the end of the table opposite Kaidou, sitting there would clearly look like I was ignoring Teruhashi, especially since she'd already called me out. I knew that wouldn't end well for me. Even my future sight couldn't defeat her karma. So I resolved himself to sit down beside her. Just another thing to endure for coffee jelly.

"Okay, so to start, we have to make characters!" Kaidou said, getting everyone's attention. "And to do that, we roll dice!"

With a thunderous clatter, Kaidou let dozens of dice roll across the table, catching everyone but I by surprise. For a moment, silence reigned over the table as Kaidou looked at them expectantly. "Well, don't just sit there. Pick four dice, and let's get started!"

I simply grabbed four, not particularly caring what I got, as did Nendo. Aren took a moment and picked out four purple ones, while Teruhashi chose an equal pair of green and pink ones. Subtle thou art not.

"So now you roll them, and put the lowest aside. Then you total the three remaining, and that's the first score you get."

In my head, I debated what he wanted to do. On the one hand, getting any set of numbers I wanted was easy, but it was a question of what I needed. If I rolled too high, my character would be overpowered, and dying would be hard to do without being obvious about it. But if I rolled too low, Kaidou would likely take it easy on me, and then it'd also be hard to die.

I'd already decided on some aspects of my character after reading Kaidou's mind. Playing a psychic would make my life simple, since my in-character abilities would explain any information I gleaned from Kaidou's mind. Aside from that, there was little else that mattered.

In the end, I decided a few high stats and some mostly low ones would work in my favour. I decided to start low, since a high stat at the end would likely work in his favour.

6.

Looking around the table, I wasn't overly surprised by what he saw. Nendo had rolled a pretty average number, even as Aren was helping him tally it up, while Teruhashi had rolled flawless 6's across the board. And Aren had gotten a decent first roll.

They continued to roll until they had gotten their full score arrangement. In the end, I was satisfied with his selection: 16, 14, 10, 8, 8, 6. Just high enough to do what he wanted, but low enough to still be quite squishy.

Teruhashi obviously had absolutely perfect stats across the board, Aren had gotten a decent mix, and Nendo was...erratic. A pair of 18's, a 3, a 6, and a pair of 10's.

If Kaidou's mind was anything to go by, this was not what I expected. Oh god, what do I do about those two?

I was just relieved that my character wasn't one of the two he was concerned about, and quietly began filling out my character sheet. It didn't take long, especially since Teruhashi was doing her own, while Kaidou helped Aren and Nendo with theirs.

At the end of it all, Kaidou sat back down with a deep sigh. "Alright, seems like everyone has their stats. So, why don't we go around the table and introduce our characters?"

Kaidou gestured to Aren, who straightened up like he'd been called on by the teacher. "Uh...my character is Raikou. He's a human magus."

Instantly, I could feel the disappointment in Kaidou's mind as Aren started to turn to Nendo, obviously expecting him to go next. Judging by everyone else's thoughts, no one has thought through a real backstory. Dozens of cliche and horrible backstories hurriedly raced through Kaidou's mind to compensate, and I held back a sigh. I was tempted to let it slide, since entertaining Kaidou's unique brand of chuunibyou would only result in more sessions. But at the same time, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.

You owe me, I thought to himself as I put a small idea in Aren's mind, and the delinquent stopped, his eyes widening as he "realized" something he "forgot."

"Oh, and uh...right backstory," Aren said aloud, causing Kaidou to immediately perk up. "Raikou was...raised by a tribe who worshipped storms and stuff. They had a rite of age where you fight a storm. And uh...he passed it and got his magic that way."

"Wow!" Kaidou enthused, eyes practically gleaming. "That's a great backstory, Aren!"

"Thanks," Aren said nervously, rubbing his neck. "Honestly, it just kinda hit me. In any case, your turn, Nendo."

"My turn for what?" Nendo asked, staring blankly at Aren.

"Talking about the backstory of our characters."

"We're supposed to do what now?"

And there goes all my effort. I sighed inwardly. But at least this was in-character for Nendo. Heavens forbid we have an out-of-character plotline.

"Come up with a story, you idiot," Aren hissed at him.

"Oh, sure. I can come up with a story." Nendo grinned, leaning over the table. "My dude is the biggest, baddest guy you've ever seen! He can out-eat anyone, and is the best brawler!"

"I...guess that's a backstory," Kaidou conceded, privately thankful that Nendo had something at least. "What's his name?"

"Riki Sr."

Kaidou gaped at him. "Did you just name him after yourself?" Apparently that was a faux pas as bad as a self-insert character.

"Me? Nah. Named it after my dad," Nendo explained. It would have been touching if he hadn't also been picking his ear as he said it. Still, it wasn't a reason anyone could argue with, and thankfully attention moved on to Teruhashi.

"I'm playing Harmonia Evergrace, a devout worshipper of the goddess of beauty and purity. She is but a humble servant of the people," Teruhashi explained with a serene smile. Perfect, as always. However…

Of course, being such a perfect servant of such a perfect god also means the love and adoration of all the followers. Even in fictional worlds, I'm a perfect pretty girl.

Good grief. But more importantly, Teruhashi was playing the largest challenge to my long term survival. As a cleric, she could buff my character and heal my wounds, making it harder for me to die. Not to mention potentially request divine intervention on my behalf. Like what seemed to happen in real life.

Fortunately, I'd thought of that.

I'm Psy, a psychic skeleton, I explained, then turned to Kaidou expectantly. Inwardly, I was quite satisfied. Teruhashi wasn't the only one who did their research. My character was formulated to perfectly capture everything I needed. Skeletons couldn't be healed by Teruhashi's cleric, had less hit points than most living characters, and were fragile in general. And no good deity in game would betray their alignment to revive a skeleton. In other words, it was perfect for getting killed when I wanted to leave. Any normal DM would ban it...but this was Kaidou.

"Uh...okaaaaay," Kaidou said slowly. Inside, I could hear him debating it. The balance issues flew through his head, but as he glanced over my stats, he didn't see any extreme numbers. If anything, I had built Psy a little weak. Not enough to catch attention, but enough to be useful. "I guess that works? Then in that case…"

Kaidou stood up, drawing on the map with a dry erase marker as he spoke. "You all have come to the town of Ravensmoor to deal with a lackey of the dreaded Dark Lord Razathul! You start in a tavern-"

"Wait, why am I in a tavern?" Teruhashi asked politely, and Kaidou froze, realizing what she was implying. The dungeon master's mouth hung open, and I waited to hear something come out, but realized that he'd been stopped at the first hurdle.

Good grief, am I going to have to run this thing myself? With an off-handed thought, I put the answer in Kaidou's head.

"R-right! Normally a cleric of purity wouldn't enter such a den of iniquity and vice, but unlike your fellow clerics, Harmonia makes it her mission to go into the darkest places and convert everyone to the path of righteousness by example," Kaidou explained with a nervous smile. "In fact, r-r-right now she's expositing the virtues of her faith to a group of attentive bar members. Y-yeah, let's go with that!"

"Oh, that makes sense," Teruhashi agreed chipperly. He hasn't even thought this through, has he? Oh, well, he's fortunate I'm so agreeable.

Ouch. That's a little harsh, don't you think, Teruhashi?

"Well, Riki's going to get some drinks," Nendo announced, completely ruining the mood. Then he clapped his arm around Aren's shoulders. "How 'bout you?"

"Yeah. sure. Raikou's getting drinks too," Aren agreed. "Do they serve Mr. Fingers?"

Kaidou and Teruhashi stared at Aren with open confusion and concern. After a second, Aren seemed to realize his mistake. "Eh, I meant do they have-"

"I'll have what he's having!" Nendo announced, before adding. "What's in it?"

Aren at least had the good grace to look a little embarrassed as he explained. "It's uh...Iwai blended whiskey, rooibos tea, Campari, and Aperol."

What Aren didn't explain was that it was a drink common amongst the Yakuza. Or that his parents were connoisseurs of various mixed drinks, and that Aren himself knew many, many combinations, even if he didn't drink himself.

"I don't know if they have those in medieval taverns," Kaidou mumbled, flipping through some pages behind the screen.

"Then we'll both have ales!" Nendou said, unperturbed.

"Sure, what he said," Aren agreed, and Kaidou let out a sigh of relief.

"So, you two are sharing drinks at the bar, and Harmonia is making converts of some of the others. What are you doing, Psy?" Kaiou asked with a knowing wink.

I'm reading people's minds for intel, I said simply.

"Oh...that makes sense. Uh...let me just...roll…" Kaidou mumbled, and the sound of clattering dice filled the room. I resisted the urge to facepalm as Kaidou realized he had a chance to exposit backstory.

"Well, everyone in town knows of the evil General Sogrades and his machinations. They say he's levelled entire cities, and commands an army of darkness so large that it can cover an entire country!"

Aren't we first level characters? I asked.

"W-Well, yeah, but this is lore."

"So wait, is this the guy we're supposed to be fighting?" Aren asked, already looking a little fired up. Down, boy.

"N-Not yet. He's more like a...looming threat," Kaidou explained before realizing he'd said too much.

"So, who are we fighting?" Teruhashi asked. The whole situation was rapidly spiraling out of control, and I sighed as he pushed another suggestion into Kaidou's head. This was going to be a loooong game.

"W-Well, funny you should ask, because a man belonging to the guard rushes through the doors, covered in blood and shouts 'They're coming!' before dropping dead! Everyone roll for initiative!"

Everyone jerked upright at the sudden shift, but were dragged in, nervously picking through their dice. "Damn it, which one do you roll?" Aren asked, frowning at the scattered pile.

"The twenty sided," Kaidou explained, pointing to the dice in question.

"12!" Nendou announced, and I glanced over to see he had indeed rolled a 12. On a twelve sided dice. Before Kaidou could see it, I quickly swapped it with the d20, though he kept the same number.

"Make sure to add your initiative modifier. It's the number there in the upper middle," Kaidou reminded him.

"Oh uh...13 then."

"8," Aren added dejectedly.

"22." Teruhashi at least looked apologetic.

10, I finished.

Kaidou quickly scribbled down the numbers on a piece of paper, and did some quick mental checks before looking back up at them. "Alright. The door kicks open again this time, and suddenly a troupe of skeletons surge in! Harmonia is up first!"

"Skeletons!?" Teruhashi said, her shock plainly written on her face. However, she quickly caught herself, reigning in her reaction and covering it with a light cough. "I mean...this is what the priests are for, aren't they? I'll move as close as I can, and use one of my channel energies."

I smiled to myself as I began the second part of my plan: absolutely destroying any sense of balance in the game. It was rather simple. At key moments, I would use my telekinesis to alter dice rolls to achieve what I wanted. A victory here, a loss there. It would be a simple matter of making the game play out in such a way that they made it to the end, while making sure no one but me went out. And that started with maxing "Harmonia's" dice roll.

Kaidou stared in patent disbelief at the dice roll, glancing down at his stat blocks before rallying himself. "Harmonia gives off a burst of holy energy that instantly evaporates most of the skeletons. Next is the remaining skeletons. Let's see...Nendo, what's your character's AC?"

"Why're you talking about air conditioning?"

"No, your armour class!" Kaidou said, facepalming. Fortunately, Aren was more than kind enough to point out the number in question and Kaidou sighed as he rolled more dice. "Alright, you take one hit for four points of damage."

"Ha! That's nothing!" Nendo proclaimed, proudly holding up his character sheet and pointing to the rather respectable 12 hit points he had remaining. "Bring it on, chumps!"

"Speaking of, it's your turn."

"Cool! I'm going to chop the hell out of 'em with my axe!" Nendo shouted, throwing the dice at the table.

They're dice, not darts, I lamented, quickly using my telekinesis to make sure the dice didn't go flying off into the distance.

"Alright, that kills one of the skeletons," Kaidou confirmed. "Go ahead and cleave."

"Leave?"

"Cleave," Kaidou enunciated. "It means to roll another attack on a nearby skeleton."

"Oh, cool. ...How's that?"

"And that's another one down," Kaidou announced, glancing down at his notes. How are they killing so many? They were supposed to end up on the edge of death so the Great Knight Larsis could rescue them!

When Kaidou wasn't looking, I shot him a frown.

Let me guess, that's your self-insert character. What a faux pas.

A couple of hours later, and I could say my plan had not succeeded as well as I'd intended. Congratulations, Kaido, you've one-upped the psychic.

"The Great Knight Larsis" showed up anyway, and took note of their "heroic deed." Then promptly recruited them to join him on a quest to defeat the Monster of the Week.

Skewing the game balance hadn't helped either. At first, Kaido had been panicking, trying to figure out what to do with his encounters. But I had to give him credit: he adapted quickly. Soon, he was just straight up ignoring the monsters' listed stats, and just using what worked. Which only made the other players at the table more determined to beat the enemy when they got near misses or clutch crits...and harder for me to turn the tables in my favor.

And now, somehow, they were fighting a dragon the Dark Lord had set on them.

"KNEEL BEFORE ME MORTALS, AND I MAY CONSIDER SPARING YOUR MISERABLE SPECKS OF EXISTENCE!" Kaido roared, looming imperiously over the table.

"LIKE HELL WE ARE! YOU'RE GOING DOWN, YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD!" Nendo yelled.

Yelling doesn't increase your power level. Keep it down.

"PREPARE TO FACE THE STORM!" Aren shouted.

No matter how many times you say it, it won't catch on.

"By all that is good and holy, we will BRING YOU TO HELL!" Teruhashi proclaimed. You, too, Teruhashi? I could practically hear the angels singing.

Kaidou's sister suddenly barged into the room. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" Slam!

Everyone but me winced as the door smacked shut. Told you so.

The party looked apologetic for a second, before turning to me expectantly.

I sighed. Let's...get this over with.

"YEAH!" Nendo roared—before Aren smacked him.

"I'm going to hit him with my lightning blade!" Aren said, rolling his attack. "Nice, crit!"

"Your blade strikes into a weak portion of the dragon's scales, bathing you in a spray of blood," Kaido said dramatically, mimicking the spray with his hands.

"I'm going to grapple it!" Nendo shouted, swiping up his dice, only to pause at the blank looks he got. "What? Did I say something weird?"

"You want to…"

"...grapple…"

"...a dragon?"

Nendo blinked. "Yeah, what about it? I can, can't I?"

"I mean...I guess you can try," Kaido admitted, then paled as he saw Nendo's roll. "How did you-! Ack, I mean—" Kaido cleared his throat; holding the scarf to his mouth, he said in a low, deep voice, "Riki Jr. leaps forward and is now holding onto the dragon's neck, wrestling it to the ground with his bulging muscles!"

"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" Cackling, Nendo pulled up his sleeves to show off his biceps.

Aren smacked him. "Stop stripping, you weirdo!"

Unfazed, Nendo turned towards Teruhashi. "Okay 'Harmonia', I got him right here! Blast him!"

"Sure thing! I'm going to cast Holy Javelin. Repent for your sins!" Teruhashi proclaimed, smiling slightly too broadly as she rolled.

I thought you were a cleric, not an executioner, I commented before consulting my spell list.

I'll use Lightning Bolt, I said simply. Kaido tallied up the damage, then thought for a moment.

"Alright, now the dragon. It's going to attempt to break out of Riki's grasp...and it fails. Riki is still holding on. But it's going to swipe its tail at Raikou!" Kaido said dramatically, rolling his dice. "Raikou takes 20 points of damage from getting hit with its massive tail."

"Ah, crap," Aren muttered, erasing the health points on his character sheet. "I'm seriously hurting from that…"

"Don't worry, I can use my heal on you," Teruhashi offered.

"But that's your last one!"

"It's fine. Psy hasn't taken damage, and Riki has more health than you."

"In any case, it's Raikou's turn," Kaido reminded them.

"Ah, right. Well, I need to be close to Harmonia to get healed, but I don't want to lose out on damage. I'll hit it and then retreat," Aren thought aloud, then rolled his dice. "Damn, missed my parting shot. Still, I'm in range to get healed now."

"Don't worry guys, I got him!" Nendo bellowed. "I'm going to start punching him! Ooooh, and I can rage, too!"

"I'll use my last channel on Raikou. You should be topped up now," Teruhashi said with a smile.

I'll cast Strength on Riki Jr.

"Thanks, buddy!, Now this dragon has no chance to escape!" Nendo smiled, reaching across the table to pat my shoulder. But Kaido's smile said otherwise.

"You puny mortals think you have stopped me, but I am a dragon! You cannot shackle me!" Kaido roared imperiously. "The dragon unfurls its wings and takes off into the air, with Riki still holding on to its neck."

Everyone else at the table gasped in disbelief and shock, but I just smiled to myself. This was exactly what I'd been waiting for. In only a few moments, I could perform my finishing move.

"We need to take it down before it gets too high!" Aren insisted.

"But what if we hit Riki?" Teruhashi worried.

"Don't worry about me. Kill the dragon!" Nendo ordered, slamming his hand on the table. By this point, I worried that he was going to break it again.

"If you say so, man…" Aren relented, looking through his spells. "I don't have much long range...I have a Fireball…"

"Do it," Nendo said seriously.

"I'm going to cast Fireball at it," Aren said with a decisive nod. "32 damage."

"The dragon and Riki both take full," Kaido noted. "Okay, Harmonia?"

Teruhashi bit her lip as she thought. "How injured is the dragon?"

"One more solid hit will take it down."

Taking a deep breath, Teruhashi steeled herself. "Evil must be vanquished! I cast Holy Smite!"

"And with that, the dragon dies. But as a result, it begins to fall, taking Riki down with it."

"I'm sorry, Nendo," Teruhashi apologized.

"Nah, it's okay-" Nendo began, but I interrupted.

I cast Shared Pain.

"You cast-wait, are you sure? Riki is really high up," Kaido pointed out. Aren and Teruhashi glanced between them, their eyes widening in realization.

"Wait, but that will kill Psy!" Aren protested.

Probably. But Riki will live, I returned, then looked back at Kaido. I cast Shared Pain.

"Alright…" Kaido relented, reluctantly rolling the dice.

Time to cheat one last time, I thought, making sure the roll would kill him, but not Nendo.

"Riki hits the ground, alive, but barely hanging on. Psy, meanwhile, instantly absorbs the bulk of the fall, and...dies...with a shuddering cracking of bones."

I smiled, leaning back. Well, it seems Psy has met his end. That was almost fun-

"Wait! I have an idea!" Teruhashi interrupted. Oh, no… "Can Riki cut into the dragon's body?"

Nendo's grin broadened. "You bet I can! I'll cut that bastard into parts!"

I sit up in my chair. Wait, what are you-?

"Shh, Saiki. We'll take care of this," Teruhasi beamed. "Let's get its heart."

No, really, I don't need—

But Kaido's eyes shone as he began to narrate. "Riki cuts into the dragon and rips out its still warm heart."

I felt a sense of impending dread as I realized what was happening. You guys don't need to-

"I'll start praying to my god for help. Aren, can your character offer the heart?" Teruhashi demanded, her expression far too serious.

"Sure can! He's got enough knowledge to pull off an offering ritual. Raikou begins drawing the marks he needs with the dragon blood still covering him from earlier."

Kaido was grinning from ear to ear. My frown deepened. "Harmonia begins her earnest prayer to save their daring comrade, who sacrificed his life for his friends, while Raikou chants every spell and incantation he learned from his tribe. The dark skies part, and a beam of light comes down on Psy's shattered body."

Seriously, you guys can stop-

"Shut up, man," Nendo interrupted, and I startled. He was grinning at me, and the others were also smiling in my direction. "You're our friend. No one gets left behind, right?"

"Right!" Aren and Teruhashi cheered at the same time.

I looked between them, bewildered, while Kaido dabbed at his nose with his scarf. "You guys… you're the best party ever." Clearing his throat, he continued in a theatrical voice, "A heavenly trumpeting announces the descent of an angel. 'We have heard your cries and bestow upon you this blessing: Your faithful comrade shall be restored even better than before!' With a wave of its hand, Psy's body rises, and is consumed by light. When it clears, he stands restored, not only whole, but improved, with glowing skin and a heavenly aura," Kaido said, crescendoing before turning to me. "Psy the skeleton is no more! Psy the angel-touched begins!"

I found myself absolutely speechless as Kaido collapsed back in his chair, and the rest of the party broke into celebration.

"I can't believe we did it!" Teruhashi cheered.

"You can say that again!" crowed Aren.
"I knew my buddy wouldn't give up on me," Nendo asserted with a smile.

"You guys did good!" Kaido agreed. "With that, you've stopped the Dark Lord's plan, and kept the peace. When you return home, glory and gold will be yours. But for now, that's the end of the adventure."

Well. I leaned back in my seat. I suppose that wasn't...the worst way to end a game. So long as there wasn't another—

"We'll have to do this again sometime," Aren laughed. "That was a blast!"

"I think I'd enjoy that," Teruhashi agreed.

Wait, hold on. I'm not sure if-

"Oh, and I almost forgot!" Kaido interrupted, jumping out from his seat and racing into the next room. "

A moment later, Kaido returned with a platter covered in various snacks and sweets. "My mom was nice enough to get us some stuff to celebrate. I wanted to save them for when you guys beat the big baddy. Help yourselves!"

Kaido laid the platter on the table, smiling broadly before grabbing a small cup of coffee jelly and handing it to I. "Here. I know you like them."

...I guess I could be convinced to play again, I relented, hiding a small smile before taking a bite. In the end, I supposed victory did taste sweet.