A/N: I just wanted to let everyone know I do see the prompt ideas in the reviews. Prompts for me are usually spur of the moment, so it's entirely possible that I'll think about something someone asked about months from now and be like, "Oh, I'm going to do that." Now, someone side-eye fanfic for me because I'm working on the draft for the new fetus Emison fic and keep getting weird intermittent "503" errors of doom. It's been a while since the site has crashed. We're due for another "fanfic is down" day soon.

But until then, enjoy another Fam-Emison. Didn't mean to leave you guys hanging with the bet. The sex of the baby was actually something that was pre-determined because I had other prompts before I wrote the one with the bet. Like I said, the writing jumps around on these a lot, because of the way I've posted on tumblr.

However, to make up for the unintentional cliff-hanger, I've actually added a few bonus scenes into this prompt (regarding the bet), so it's a little different than when I first posted on tumblr.

Prompt: I remember that a couple of months ago I saw some post here where you said that if Ali was pregnant again she would like tell the fetus to evict if she went over her due date and I found it really funny. So I was wondering if you could do a prompt like that?

Overdue

There is nothing worse than being pregnant and past your due date. It was a certain kind of hell that Alison DiLaurentis-Fields wouldn't wish upon her worst enemy, and in her life she'd made a ton of enemies.

She was uncomfortable all the time. Her back hurt. Her boobs were sore. She constantly had indigestion. She was always hot and sweaty and felt gross. She was anxious about how big the baby was getting, because clearly he was going to have to come out of her. Her feet were the size of a Yeti's feet. She looked like an overblown beached whale. She had trouble sitting up and she barely fit through the door anymore. And she had to pee all the time.

She and Emily had tried everything they could think of to try and get her labor started, not that Alison looked forward to the labor pains. But a few agonizing hours was worth finally being able to get comfortable again, and hold their son of course. But being uncomfortable took precedence over the baby at the moment, because she was so frustrated.

Their friend Aria had been trying some homeopathic techniques to keep a cool and calm environment for the baby. But Alison and Emily both knew that once their son was on his way out there wasn't going to be anything cool and calm about it.

Just like with the twins Alison would scream and curse and take an angry swing at Emily in the delivery room. She'd grab Emily's hand so hard that she'd nearly break her fingers and her fingernails would draw Emily's blood because she was squeezing so hard. And then after it was all over, when they were looking at their son, they would both cry and smile at each other and Alison would take Emily's hand and kiss the bruises she'd accidentally given her. And Emily would lean forward and stroke their son's cheek and kiss Alison's sweaty forehead.

But none of that would happen if the little snot refused to come out. She'd talked nicely to him, begged him, threatened him with both adoption and eviction, but nothing worked. Her son was stubborn and didn't care about anything she said or did.

So now…she was at the lowest of the low…

"Come on. Come on." Alison groaned in frustration. "Please?" She reached down in between her legs and dangled a crisp ten dollar bill between her thighs.

Emily walked by their room carrying some of the twins' laundry, whistling to herself, only catching what was going on in her peripheral vision. Even in quick passing she saw that something was off. She stopped the second she got past the door frame and slowly backed up. She peered into their room and looked at her wife in confusion. She put the basket of laundry down.

Alison was sitting up against the bedframe with her knees up and her legs wide open. She was looking down and fanning a ten dollar bill between her thighs. Alison heard the noise at the door and she looked up to see a very confused brunette looking at her in surprise.

"Um?" Emily questioned with a tone that clearly said, "explain…" as she pointed to the situation that was happening.

"I'm trying to bribe him," Alison said. Before Emily could burst into laughter she glared at her. "Shut up. He's two weeks late. Spicy food isn't working. Aria's stupid herbs aren't working. Walking around isn't working. Sex isn't working." Though it was certainly enjoyable. "I'm allowed to try things my way."

"Ali, I don't think a ten spot is going to entice a baby out of the womb." Emily snorted in laughter as she walked towards her.

"You don't know. Maybe he likes money."

"He's your child. He definitely likes money." Emily nodded with a smile. "But for one thing, you're totally low-balling him. And he's smart enough to know it. And for another, I don't think cash is what brings on labor." She paused and thought about something. "It's actually usually the other way around." She sat down against the edge of the bed.

Alison felt a kick directly on her bladder and she felt just the tiniest bit of leakage in her underwear thanks to her loose bladder.

"You little shit." Alison glared down at her stomach.

He knew what he was doing.

"I am so done with this kid." Alison fell back on to her mound of pillows in frustration. "You try."

Emily shook her head with a laugh. She leaned forward, putting her palm against Alison's belly. She rubbed it as she moved closer to address their son.

Their son. God, they'd been so happy when they'd first heard it was a boy. Their girls were moody as hell. So when they found out it was a boy they'd been overjoyed.

"I've never been so happy to see a penis in my life." Alison had smiled at the ultrasound photo.

"You know you owe me fifty bucks, right?" Emily had poked her in her side.

"I don't even care. Look at his little pickle. It's so cute."

Now that she was two weeks overdue Alison didn't think anything about their little boy was cute anymore. She was ready to cut him out of her stomach so she didn't pee on herself every time she moved. She was pissed that he wasn't listening to her. She looked at Emily, hoping she'd be able to talk some sense into him.

"Hey, little dude. Your moms really want to meet you, so how about this?" She kissed Alison's baby bulge and then looked up at her wife with a devious smirk on her face. "I'll be the cool mom here. Ten bucks? Psh. What is mommy thinking with that? I've got a hundred dollars for you if you come out right now."

Alison glared at her.

"You're mocking me?" She scowled. "I'm carrying your son and you're mocking me?"

"Of course not." Emily reached up and rubbed her arm with a smile. She looked at Alison's over-extended belly and addressed the baby again. "There's a plasma TV and an X-box in it for you if you come out today. Mama has today in the pool, so with all that money I can buy you whatever you want."

"You know what? You're carrying the next one." Alison frowned at her wife. "And I hope it's twins and you're a month late!"

"Alison, calm down." Emily laughed.

"You calm down." She felt like a five-year-old, but she didn't care. She was so over this pregnancy thing. "You're not the one crying watching commercials about cell phones."

She hated her hormones so much. Yesterday she'd lost it watching a commercial about a soft drink. Stupid adorable animals selling carbonated beverages.

"I'm crazy and fat and hideous." Her voice trembled.

"Babe…" Emily stroked her cheek, trying not to laugh, because she knew it was just the hormones. "Do you really think that?"

"How can you even look at me? I'm a blimp." She pouted, moving her belly up and down.

"You're carrying our baby. Our son. You're the most beautiful thing in the world to me."

"You have to say that. You're my wife."

"Grace and Lily complimented you at breakfast this morning." Emily reminded her.

"You paid them to say nice things to me so I didn't fly into a rage and throw eggs and biscuits at their heads."

Emily couldn't argue. Her children really were easily bought. But they did love their moms and they had been doing a lot for them since Alison had been put on bed rest.

"We're at the finish line here, Ali." Emily promised.

"If you give me one more speech about how we're almost there I am going to rip this headboard in half and hit you in the face with it." And more hormones were raging. "And as for you, young man." She poked her stomach, like poking him was going to make him pay more attention. "You have overstayed your welcome at Motel Mommy. You have not paid your rent in nine and a half months. This is unacceptable! I am no longer your slumlord mama. This is your eviction notice." She put her hands against her stomach as she spoke to their unborn son. "Vacate the premises immediately or I'll make you vacate by force!"

"What, are you going to throw his umbilical cord and placenta out on the front lawn?" Emily asked in confusion.

"You have five minutes to gather all your things and get out." Alison continued growling at her belly.

Emily chuckled at the imagery of a little baby carrying a suitcase and walking out of the womb with a little top hat on his head.

"I don't hear packing." Alison poked herself again.

She felt movement, like he was turning over to get more comfortable. Then he was still again. Alison let out a frustrated groan.

"Hey, don't you ignore me!"

She felt like he was already some surly teenage boy pulling the covers over his head and pretending his mom didn't exist. Alison mumbled underneath her breath.

"Freeloader."

"Ali, I know bed-rest is making you a little cranky, but…"

"I am not cranky!" Alison glared at her.

"Right." Emily nodded with a teasing smile. "Of course not." She ran her hand over Alison's stomach. "How about I heat up last night's dinner and bring it to you?"

Alison sighed. Food did sound good right now.

"I don't want leftovers." Alison decided.

"Well, what can I get you? A burger? A gallon of pickles? Maybe an entire gazelle, fresh from the savanna? I can just…grab a little weak one that will be easy for you to pick off. It'll fill you up and it might help that rage of yours, too." She smiled.

Alison smacked her, hard. But she had a hint of a smile on her face. Because Emily always knew what to say to bring her out of her moods.

"Okay, okay, I'll get you a bigger one. Just promise me you won't rip my arm off when I feed it to you."

Another smack.

"You're making fun of an angry hormonal pregnant woman right now." Alison glared. "You're never getting sex again."

"You'll change your mind in a few hours when those hormones kick into overdrive."

"No. I mean it. I'm becoming a nun. I'm abstaining." Alison folded her arms across her chest like a defiant five-year-old, resting them against her baby bump.

"Is that so?" Emily reached her hand under Alison's gown, slipping her fingers against her thighs.

Alison shuddered at her touch. God, she was always so horny at this stage in her pregnancy. Seconds later she was leaning forward to try and capture Emily's lips. She moved one hand down on top of Emily's and pushed her long tan fingers closer to her core.

Emily pulled back with a chuckle.

"My point exactly." Emily grinned.

"Oh, it's like that? Huh? You're just going to tease me? Just rev the engine and leave it idling..."

"I was just making a point." Emily stroked her face. "We'll continue it tonight. I promise. But you really do need to eat something. I'll whip something up."

"I'd rather you just bring the whipped cream up and let me eat what I really want." She looked at Emily's body.

"Good God, were you this handsy when you were pregnant with the twins?" Emily laughed.

"You started it." Alison shrugged.

"And I'll finish it." Emily promised. "But you're going to eat a proper dinner first." She leaned forward and placed a gentle peck on Alison's lips. Alison tried to pull her closer, but her stomach got in the way. She grumbled in frustration when Emily pulled away. "I've got to go. I've got to round up the girls. Lily is at the library and it closes in…" She looked at her watch. "Shit, ten minutes." She stood up, stopping to delicately rub Alison's exposed leg. "I've also got to make sure Grace does her math homework. Lately she's been rebelling against her school work. Something about not wanting to conform to society and not wanting to be another 'pawn' in 'the man's' construct. Lily threw a Political Science book at her head two nights ago when Grace called her a mindless drone who refused to join the revolution."

"We've really got to stop letting her watch films about rebellion and revolution. She's learning too much." Alison laughed.

"She's just mad she lost the bet about her brother to Lily." Emily shrugged.

"That was months ago."

"No one can hold a grudge longer than your daughter."

"Oh, sure, blame the pregnant lady."

"Not for much longer. He'll be here soon." Emily touched Alison's stomach again. "I won't be gone long. Grace is here if you need anything. She knows how to get in touch with me."

"You're putting my fate and the fate of our unborn son into the hands of a barricade building tyrannical rebel?"

"She's been instructed not to start any wars without consulting me first." Emily nodded as she walked out.

Alison laid back against the bed. Her back was cramping and her bladder felt like it was going to burst. She waddled to the bathroom and then after she was done she went back to bed. Then she felt like she had to pee again.

"Really?" Alison growled down at her stomach. She sighed again and then reached over and grabbed the ten dollar bill. "Here, baby baby baby…" She called like she would a puppy.

Emily kept her promise that night, but even after they were done with their throes of passion…still no labor. Alison was starting to get pissed again. She rolled to her side to try and get comfortable, her anger starting to get the better of her. But then she felt Emily massaging her shoulders to try and soothe her aches and pains. Emily reached for a container of cocoa butter massage cream and spread it evenly along her fingers and then rubbed it against Alison's belly. Then she started working the knots out of Alison's shoulders and spine. Shortly afterwards Alison was asleep.

Sleeping never lasted very long for Alison after she'd hit the last trimester, but that night it was shorter than normal. She felt a familiar twisting pain in her back and abdomen. She felt her body contracting and seconds later she felt something wet pooling between her legs.

Her water breaking.

She quickly rolled over.

"Em…" Alison shook Emily's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Emily immediately reached for Alison's face. It was a subconscious action she'd done for years. It was her instinct to comfort her, even when she was half asleep.

"You're gonna be buying that plasma TV and X-Box after all." She felt another contraction and she groaned. She put her hand on her stomach. "He's coming."

"Guess that eviction notice worked after all." Emily sat up and turned on the light.

Alison laughed, but then her face twisted into a contorted ball of pain. Contractions were a bitch.

"Okay, hold on. Hold on…" Emily leaped out of the bed.

They already had a bag packed for the hospital. Emily had thought of everything and she was ready for this. Alison watched as Emily took control of the situation. And for a few swift moments she didn't feel the pain of her contractions. All she could see was the love she had for her wife. It was something that could get them through anything, even pregnancy hormones and an overdue lazy fetus, whom they were going to meet very soon.