Okay so I don't know how many times I've had to upload this, every time it comes up with code (or some weird code-ish equivalent) and I have come to realise how useless I am with technology so here's hoping that this chapter posts correctly.
Her heart was heavy.
In her short life she had never experienced anything like this before. It was uncomfortable to breathe and she felt her words caught in her throat.
She had liked to think that she had a good grasp of emotions and how they transpired in reality. She had known what is was like to be excited, nervous, anxious and happy but she had never known sadness or utter disappointment.
Stannis had always taught her to prepare for disappointment by assuming the worst in people and remaining cautious and suspicious. Disappointment never came because she was always prepared.
And yet, sadness was the most confusing and unfamiliar to her.
She did not feel sadness for the death of her mother, she did not know the woman, nor was she spoken of often. Her mother was a ghost that only existed in the memories of the Martells.
She did not feel sadness when a boy she thought she loved rejected her. He was entitled to live his own life his own life as he saw fit, as did she, the angst is always swallowed by the higher purpose.
The babe moved uncomfortably in her belly. It felt what she was feeling as well; perhaps the babe was projecting his own feelings onto her. The hormones were getting the best of her, the Maester had warned her that being with child has the tendency to do so. The very thought made her anxious, she needed to be in control.
When she entered the Sept she began to shake. Tommen was already in tears before they approached the steps of the Sept of Baelor. His mother attempting to quieten him with Joffrey's displeased eyes cast downward in distaste.
The base of Visenya's Hill was drowning in peasants and low-lords alike that wished to farewell the King. They looked to be in worst spirits that the Queen herself.
Vesara had to admire her poise. Although there was little love lost between her father and the Queen, she knew how to act appropriately. That was all her step-mother was, a black heart adorned it fine jewels and false dutifulness that fooled lords and common-folk alike. For a time she too had been fooled by the Queen, Vesara had dreamed of being as elegant and fierce and the lioness, but her fathers trusted mentor the late Lord Jon Arryn convinced her otherwise.
The Sept of Baelor brought little joy to Vesara, as a place of Godly worship to comfort and redeem it seemed to have been the centre of heartache and farewells.
The farewell of Jon Arryn.
The farewell of Vesara, the maiden.
And now, the farewell of Robert Baratheon.
"It seems little fawn that we must play the role of the strong mourning beauties, both loved fiercely by the King." Cersei had entwined her arm in Vesara's and patted her hand softly.
Vesara did not respond.
"I hope that the joyous sound of your voice returns soon little fawn, we wouldn't want it to be overshadowed by the roaring of lions. After all, you are the last stag, we wouldn't want you to fall as prey in the lion's den."
"My apologies your Grace, it seems I lack my usual energy as of late. Carrying a child is much more exhausting than expected. The lion in my belly is much stronger than this stag can bear to handle at present. No matter, I assure I will return to normal."
She glanced down at the large swell of Vesara's stomach. This child would be more lion that stag, Cersei and Jaime would make sure of it. It was a threat that needed to be managed.
Vesara's very presence in King's Landing was an insult to Cersei, she had wished more than anything that her brother had forced her to Casterly Rock as soon as she was with child. That was her place now, not at the side of her brother and most definitely not at the ear of Joffrey.
"My dear, carrying a babe is the easy part. No matter, trust that the babe will be well supported."
Vesara failed to heed the warnings of Cersei as they came often and quickly, although the death of her father changed things. Jaime was absent from the Capitol, which caused her some concern, despite being far from a doting husband he was adequate as wedge between herself and the Queen. She was now unbridled, as was Joffrey.
"My dear sister…" he sneered. "…our father, killed my a boar. Fear not, I will never succumb to such a death, I will never be bested by a beast."
"We all have our follies brother, should it had not been the beast it most certainly would have been the wine."
"Of course sister, but we are not foolish in the same way you and I. We are of the same ilk, but of stronger will, our dear father was a fearsome warrior and look what he had become. You are true and beautiful like the Dornish and I am fierce like the lion. It is up to you and I to continue father's legacy sister, we must teach Tommen and Myrcella what it means to be a Baratheon."
Vesara often ignored the idiocies of her brother, he had long been all roar and no bite. But now a fear struck her, he had access to others that would bite for him and it seemed that the roar of a lion king would suffocate the roar of a lioness.
She felt cold.
Cersei should be worried.
They all should be worried.
X
Only hours before she heard the screams of her son as he entered the world she had been at the side of the serving maid who was doing the same.
The screams of the girl terrified her.
Vesara had offered her own septa to service the needs of the girl in birthing. The girl was terrified and afraid of what would become of her and the child, especially if the Queen had found out that she was with child by the late King Robert.
She had come to Vesara, desperate to ensure that she and the babe would be protected from the Queen. Jon Arryn had guaranteed her such but had not lived to see out his promise, just as he had with all of the other baseborn children of Robert.
With every passing week another one of her baseborn siblings was killed by order of Joffrey, no doubt encouraged by his mother. Vesara had failed to save them, she would not fail this time.
When the girl's eyes emptied and her body went cold Vesara knew it was over. The room was soiled in blood and the echoes of her screams. The babe had been torn from her womb. She would not see the tidy sum of dragons that Vesara would exchange the babe for, she would not see her boy grow even if it was to be from a far.
She had journeyed with the Stranger and now Vesara was left at odds.
"I serve the realm Princess. I have always served the realm. I will die in service to the realm. Who do you serve?"
He entered her solar from the hidden passageway. She had Bane summon him to her quarters in secret.
She did not wish to trust the Spider but at present he had little to sell her secrets for. The Queen was becoming disfavoured and he was certainly not obligated to gift her any whispers.
"It seems you are one of the only trustworthy people remaining in King's Landing Lord Varys. What have things come to?"
"Shocking I know Princess, you, I and Lord Eddard Stark are but few who remain more loyal to the realm than to ourselves. It is such dark times we live in and even more uncertain times after the death of your father. Lord Stark will not make it another moon I fear, the black cells may not break him but a swing of Ser Illyn Payne's sword most certainly will."
The Spider had guaranteed that he would keep the babe under his protection until Vesara left King's Landing. She had considered the option of attempting to pass her babe and her baseborn half-sibling as twins, but the risk of getting caught was too high. She could not endanger two babes unnecessarily.
"I wish to see him." She spoke with uncertainty, visiting Lord Stark was definitely not a wise move and she knew that, Cersei's spies were just as well proliferated as Lord Varys.
"I'm sorry Princess, I will not lead you to your death. You and I both know that the Queen needs little excuse to have you executed as well, without your father and your Lord husband you are unprotected here, do not give her reason to brand you as treasonous."
"If he is to die I wish to share something with him. It is only fair."
"I can assure you my dear, Lord Eddard has his secrets too. Go across the Narrow Sea. When the time comes I will be there."
Not long after she lay in her chambers, weak and waited on by maids and servants.
She had not expected her babe to arrive for another moon, but it seemed that he did not wish to be confined any longer.
"Oh little fawn, well done, you have performed primary duty of every wife. You have given my brother a son."
Cersei had sat calmly by her side from the time that the birthing pains had begun. Her presence throughout the birth had made Vesara uneasy, but the Queen Regent refused to leave. She insisted that she be there in the stead of her brother and as Vesara's family The very notion made Vesara feel worse than she already did. Cersei did not pull the mother card very often but when she did it was always on her terms, never would the Queen let Vesara address her as mother, not even as a child when she did not understand that her own mother had been taken from her.
Vesara's eyes were locked on the boy in the arms of Cersei, he seemed at ease in the arms of the lioness despite her look of longing and sadness. No matter how hard she tried to mask it, it was there, a look that every mother would wear at some point.
"He looks exactly like the little boy I fleetingly held in my arms. I remember that day so clearly, your father had gone out hunting for a gift of pelts and you were cavorting outside my chambers waiting for your little brother to enter the world. And when he came and went I had to tell you where he had gone, that he had gone with the Stranger into the arms of the Mother."
Vesara grasped Cersei's free hand. It was times like this that Vesara wondered if her relationship with Cersei was in fact built on false niceties or if there was some level of genuine care. She believed there had been at a time, regardless of how fleeting, it had existed.
"It was wrong for my father to leave and you be left to explain to a young girl what had happened."
"The difficulties and pain make us strong Vesara. This boy will be strong, like Jaime and like Robert and he will have the two of us." Cersei smiled down at the little bundle. Vesara did all she could to decipher the Queen's thoughts, praying that she would not go as far as to rid Vesara of the boy she held in her arms and the evidence of Jaime's betrayal.
"Do you have a name?"
"I had wished to name him with Jaime but it seems that the boy could go on without a name for sometime. I had thought about Robb, after my father but it would seem distasteful so close after his death."
"I'm not sure that Jaime or my father for that matter would approve of the name either." Vesara laughed softly bringing discomfort to her innards.
"Durrandon, after the Storm King's of old." She looked to Cersei for her approval.
"A strong name. Durrandon of House Lannister, first of his name."
x
Vesara was fighting a losing battle. He wasn't sure what she expected the outcome of her journey to be. Robb Stark would only cooperate if she were to wed him after he had disposed of Jaime but she would not have Jaime slaughtered for the sake of securing the North, the North which she would have authority to rule alongside her would be husband.
No. It made things too easy on the Northmen. She would be playing right into the hands of the Starks bannermen. She would not feed their misguided disillusions about being able to defeat the Lannister armies. Robb was a brilliant leader on the battlefield but he still had little experience as a commander and strategist.
As much as she pretended to disown her uncles as they made their claim at the Iron Throne she could never betray her family name by endorsing an independent North. Where she was, she was perfectly positioned to support her closest living relatives, her brother Joffrey's claim.
He had tried asking the girl to explain her motive for visiting the Stark camp. But she was silent.
Silence always made him suspicious.
It was not that he didn't trust Vesara but she was still young, she was still impressionable, a quality that Stannis and Jon Arryn played on. They knew how proud she wanted to make her house.
They knew how she admired the notion of duty.
She did not confide in him the same way she did in Monterys, she had been withdrawn since he had departed with the babe, it was as if a part of her was missing. He wished that she would trust him in the same way she had trusted the old seahorse, instead she shut him out wherever she could. He worried for the demons she had created in her own mind and if she was strong enough to fight them.
"Have you come to offer me your hand?" Robb jested. He smiled at her brightly.
It was clear that the Wolf King found it difficult to separate his friendship with Vesara and his duty as King. She was with the enemy, he harboured her husband as his prisoner and yet she stood before him as if there was nothing occurring outside of his tent.
"My apologies your grace, my hand is somewhat preoccupied. Battle suits you well you've definitely come into your own."
"War forces boys to become men." He tried to grin a genuine grin but all she saw was fear and adrenaline.
"And a man you have become."
"Tell me Princess, what is it that brings you to a Stark camp. My men could have crushed your travelling party with ease and yet you risk your own life and theirs for what?"
Tallon could hear very little from the edges of the tent but he sensed no danger in their conversation. Vesara and her men would live for another day.
Vesara was accompanied by a diverse range of men, many that were born enemies and that had become enemies as a result of the War of the Five Kings and yet they still continued to serve, just as they were required.
Their travelling party had been 100 when they had departed King's Landing, their numbers and since halved after the Wildfire attack. Vesara's men had once included the Lannister men gifted to her by Jaime after news of her pregnancy commanded by his childhood friend Ser Damon Brax. She had rid herself of her Lannister men swiftly, requesting that ride ahead of her, that she would sail to Casterly Rock and that they should prepare for her arrival.
Her sworn swords from both the Stormlands and Dragonstone alongside her personal guard that had been with her from the time she was born were all that remained.
Tallon and his younger brother Bane had been gifted to Robert as an act of fealty after Robert's Rebellion. Tallon knew that his brother was never certain that Robert would accept his surrender; it had been a gamble that had luckily paid off. At ten and three Tallon squired for Robert briefly before being knighted at seven and ten and became a sworn sword to Vesara before she had reached her fifth name day. Bane had been taken in as Vesara's play mate and would become Stannis ward until her swore his fealty to Vesara in his later years.
Randyll Tarly wasn't the kindest of brothers, he was ambitious and enjoyed the fear that came with being a great commander. Nothing would have pleased him more than to have his youngest brother betrothed to the little fawn.
He was a fool.
She always knew that she would be married off in an elaborate scheme. They all knew it and yet her father continued to promise her that she would be able to marry for love, just like he wished he had with Lyanna.
"I cannot release the Kingslayer to you, the Lannisters have to pay for what they've done, for the death of my father and for their…" He paused.
Something had caught the wolf's tongue.
He handed her a letter with the broken seal of her uncle Stannis. Her expression remained stony as she read the contents of the letter before handing it back to Robb.
"…for their sins, Sara. I'm sorry, your brothers Joffrey, Tommen and your sister Myrcella are in fact your nephews and niece or your step-children?"
She did not feign shock, she did not respond.
"You knew?"
"Of course I knew." She blinked quickly to dissipate the tears that threatened to fall. "Jon Arryn knew, your father knew and look what happened to them. I was to create the last piece of evidence that Jon needed, that the union of a Baratheon and Lannister would always produce a stag, our seed is strong."
"Why would you agree to marry Jaime Lannister knowing that he had produced bastard children born of incest?"
"The Crown is in debt, the sum is quickly increasing and no doubt this war is sinking the Crown further into debt to the Iron Bank and to the Lannisters. The Kingdom would crumble if the Lannisters withdraw their financial support. Jon saw only one solution to riding the court of Lannisters, false kings and debt."
She trusted Robb. He was like his father in a lot of respects; for the most part he was a man of his word.
She also didn't believe that he would get the opportunity to share this information. He would be lucky to see another name day. War is cruel and the Stranger is coming for them all.
She spelt it out for him. "Marry Jaime Lannister, prove that Cersei's children were born of adultery and produce a Lannister heir. I would become my father's heir, Jaime would be sent to the Wall or executed, along with the bastard boys and Cersei would most definitely be executed. The Lannister babe would become the heir to Dorne, heir to Casterly Rock and considering the behaviour of my uncles, the Stormlands and Dragonstone as well. Maybe even King of the Seven Kingdoms. And like magic the debt of the Crown is dissolved."
And as she said it aloud she couldn't help but let a few stray tears fall. Aloud she sounded like a fool.
Robb was puzzled by this elaborate plan that certainly involved a lot of best-case scenarios.
"I was foolish to accept Jon Arryn's proposal, but what do you expect from a girl of seven and ten who wants nothing more than to make her father proud and have him see her as more than the trophy that allowed him to pursue your aunt Lyanna."
Robb cast his eyes downward, he knew the pressure of making your father proud. He had just lost his and now he was doing all he could to hold the North together and to get justice.
He and Vesara were both still children.