Prompt: Hey! I was wondering if you could do a prompt where Ali's maternity leave is over and she doesn't want to go back to work but at the same time she wants to? Please and thank you in advance.

A/N: *le gasp*, what's this? TWO updates on two different fics in one night? It's mostly because I feel guilty about how heavy "Tapestry of Scars" is and I wanted to give my readers a little love to fall back on. I've even got a friend dogging me about writing a fic about a pregnant Emily that *isn't* angsty (would be AU, more in-line with the books minus Alison being a psycho). Imagine that. I still don't know about my future writing for Emison, but I have a lot of people bribing me, so know that I do hear you all.

For now, enjoy a devious baby and a batshit crazy Mama-bear Ali. I played with the timeline a little to make Sam a skosh older so he could be more than a little adorable baby lump.

Adulting

Alison woke up almost two hours before her alarm was set to go off. She hadn't slept well. Thoughts had been swirling around in her head for the past several days. She had butterflies in her stomach about returning to work after having spent so much time at home with her son. She knew it was time, but she felt like everything was going to change. She was afraid of all the things she was going to miss.

She was also nervous about how he would react without having her around. Would he be sad? Cranky? Would he even miss her at all?

She hadn't been able to come to terms with the idea of her son at daycare. She'd gotten pissed when Emily said it had been good enough for the twins.

"Because they were older when we started taking them." Alison scowled angrily at her wife. "Your mom watched them a lot. They were with family."

Emily's mom was working again, so they couldn't ask her. Jason and his family lived in New York. Alison had suggested one of their friends could care for him. Emily gently reminded her that they had to work as well.

"Well, except I think that Aria is in between books right now." Emily thought it over. "She is taking some time off."

Aria's son, Finn was starting first grade and she wanted to be more involved in mommy things since she'd been traveling so much on her book tour. She'd been talking with Ezra about adopting another baby. They were trying to get set up for the adoption process.

"You want to call Aria and see if she's up for it?" Emily asked.

Alison wavered on the suggestion, because she was having trouble with the idea of leaving Sam with anyone. But she eventually came to her senses.

Aria jumped at the chance to take him. She said that it would get her used to having a little one in the house again. And she knew that Finn would love to come home from school and have Sam to play with.

Alison felt a little more at ease when they had their plan set in place. But the morning they were getting ready for the big day, Alison was a nervous wreck. She was short-tempered with the girls and snippy with Emily.

She snapped at Emily when they were brushing their teeth and then hurried off to get Sam ready, leaving Emily standing in the bathroom in confusion. All she'd done was ask Alison to pass the floss to her. It had set her off for some reason.

Over the years, the brunette had gotten used to Alison's mood swings. Sometimes she just let it go. Other times she knew she needed to step up and say something. She sighed, letting the toothbrush in her mouth fall slack.

"I married a crazy person." She said assuredly to her reflection.

She finished brushing her teeth and went to find her "crazy person". Alison was running around Sam's room grabbing a bunch of random items while Sam watched her from his crib. He gripped the guard rail and chewed on the edge. He squealed in excitement when he saw Emily.

"Hey, buddy." She smiled.

"We need to hurry. I told Aria we'd be there by 8. We should get him dressed."

"He hasn't had his breakfast yet. You know how messy he gets…"

"He has a bib, Emily." Alison sounded suspiciously like a teenager saying duh.

"Hey, is everything okay with you?" Emily reached out and touched her arm. "You seem to be…um…" having a total meltdown would be putting it lightly, and it would piss Alison off even further. She knew that Alison was having a hard time with the idea of leaving Sam. "You just seem kind of stressed. Why don't you go make yourself some tea and relax? I'll get Sam ready and wake the girls."

"I would love to, but I have to finish packing for him." Alison grabbed a diaper bag and started stuffing things into it.

"I can do that. It's fine."

"No. Last time you forgot the binky and his favorite stuffy."

"That was one time. I remembered the essentials." Emily rolled her eyes. "We don't have to pack the whole house every time we go out."

"There are just certain things that comfort him." Alison held up a bottle of diaper cream. "These are his most precious moments and I want him to be comforted!"

She was slowly starting to become unhinged.

"Rash cream is a precious moment?" Emily didn't help the situation.

Alison scowled at her and threw a diaper at her head. Emily dodged it and started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Alison asked.

"It's just that…" She laughed again. "Your hormones are the one out of whack this time. You were so chill with the girls. I lost my mind when I couldn't get you to take your damn prenatal vitamins. And now you're making precious memories with diaper cream and tossing our son's underwear at my head."

There was a beat of silence.

"Oh my God, you're right." Alison hated it when Emily was right. "I've turned into one of those crazy helicopter moms. Our son is going to live at home until he's forty. We have to start teaching him independence…"

"Whoa, spiraling a little hard in the wrong direction there. Reel it in, Ali." Emily touched her arm and kissed her temple. "Just take a breath."

Alison stared at the mess she'd made in Sam's room. She spotted his favorite puppy stuffy on the floor.

"There it is." She grabbed it and started packing again.

Emily walked back over to Sam's crib.

"Alright, you moocher, let's get you dressed while mommy finishes this little meltdown, okay?" She smiled at him.

"Don't go with the blue bear onesie. It gives him a rash." Alison stopped flinging things around long enough to look back at her wife. "Oh, and put the puppy socks on him. He loves his puppy socks."

"Babe, he pulls his socks off after thirty seconds. I hardly think that…" She stopped talking when she saw the look on Alison's face. "Puppy socks it is. Whatever you say, honey."

Sam reached out for Emily. She grasped him and pulled him up by his tiny little underarms. His arms were so chunky. She kissed his head, reveling in his sweet baby smell.

He babbled, words that didn't have much meaning, but words that meant the world to his mothers, because despite them not sounding like actual words, they knew exactly what he was saying.

Emily changed his diaper and put him in Alison's favorite onesie. She slipped his puppy socks on, which he promptly pulled off, proving Emily's point.

Alison finished packing up Sam's bag, stuffing in as many of his favorite things that she could fit into it.

Emily handed Sam off to Alison and then went into what she called the "dragon's lair" at the end of the hallway to rouse their moody teens.

Grace threw a pillow at her door and groaned. Lily rolled over and growled at her mother to go away. Emily threatened to take away their phones, like she did every morning, and that got them moving.

Emily went to get dressed and then went to see how breakfast duty was going with Sam. She walked in to find Alison angrily opening and closing cabinets.

Sam was watching from his high chair, messy drool dripping down his chin. His hands and face were covered with a variety of different colors of baby food. It looked like Alison had started with his regular cereal, but most of that was all over the floor.

Lily slinked by Emily and quietly whispered,

"Get out while you still can." Then she disappeared into the living room with her grumpy twin sister.

Alison grabbed Sam's favorite spoon, hoping that seeing it would entice him to take a bite of carrots. They'd already tried fruit, peanut butter, oatmeal, and applesauce, and they'd ended up wearing most of it.

Alison slammed a jar of baby food on the counter next to half a dozen different foods that were already open. She twisted the top off with so much force that if it hadn't been sturdy it would have broken in half. She shoved the spoon into the goop roughly.

"Uh, you having a bad morning there, hon, or are you just mad at the kitchen?" Emily walked over to her side. Alison's shirt had baby food splattered all over it.

"I can't get him to eat." Alison grumbled in frustration as she walked over to Sam. "If I can't get him to eat then it will throw off his eating pattern, which will throw off his sleeping pattern, and he'll be cranky and he'll never go down for his nap, which means he'll sleep through dinner and then keep us up all night."

She tried to sneak a spoonful of baby food into his mouth, but he blew a raspberry with his lips and sent particles of food everywhere.

"Why won't you eat?" She looked directly at her son.

Sam kept his gaze locked on his mother's and reached out with his slimy hands. He shoved his bottle off of the high chair.

"Well, now he's just mocking me." Alison said caustically as she leaned over to get his bottle.

"He probably just knows we're nervous." Emily walked over to Alison. "Babies can smell fear."

When Alison stood up to put his bottle back on his tray, Sam reached out towards the spoon that was sticking out of his carrots. He slapped at it and squealed. The spoon flipped into the air, knocking the jar to the floor and sending the spoon flying directly into Alison's forehead.

It took every ounce of self-control Emily had to keep herself from laughing.

"Sammy, that wasn't very nice." Emily reached for a paper towel.

Sam just howled in laughter, because he laughed at everything inappropriate.

Alison snatched the paper towel away from Emily and went to the sink to wet it down. She tried to get the baby food out of her hair. Her eyes were burning with tears.

"Hey, take a breath. He's had fussy mornings before." Emily walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around the frazzled blonde.

"This feels different. I feel like he's punishing me for leaving him."

"You're not leaving him. Besides, you really think he's capable of plotting revenge? He chewed on his foot for half an hour yesterday."

Alison was already starting to feel Emily's essence calming her down.

"What would I do without you, Em?"

"You'd probably be bald from pulling all of your hair out."

"Ugh, that would be a horrible look on me. I'd rather be dead and buried in an ugly pug sweatshirt."

"I think you look beautiful no matter what." She kissed her cheek, right next to her ear. Emily had learned years ago that it was soothing to her. "Mmm, you taste like bananas and oatmeal with a hint of baby slobber. Sexy."

Alison had to laugh at Emily's absurdity.

"You're a freak, you know that?" Alison smiled at her.

"I'm your freak." Emily reminded her.

Sam slapped his hands against his high chair table, interrupting the moment. He babbled as he smeared food everywhere. It was like he was working with fingerpaints.

Alison sighed.

"How are you doing, Ali?" Emily asked sincerely.

"This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be." Alison admitted.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back?" She leaned forward until their cheeks were touching. Alison's back was flush with Emily's front.

"I've been ready to go back for weeks. I mean, there are only so many times you can do the hokey pokey before you want to put your head through a wall."

"Yeah, I hear what you're saying." Emily laughed. "If I have to listen to Baby Shark one more time while he chews his foot and laughs hysterically I'm going to throw the TV out the window."

"I could kill the girls for introducing him to that." Alison rolled her eyes.

"Better than introducing him to Evil Dead."

"Those little monsters will probably show it to him at some point."

"His innocence is doomed with those two in his life." Emily chuckled.

"We can hear you. We have an open floor plan. Duh." Lily called out to them.

Alison and Emily laughed quietly.

They looked at Sam. Sometimes they still marveled at the fact that he was theirs, that he existed. He was so innocent.

Sam saw them looking and he grinned, reaching for his bottle again. He smacked it to the floor and giggled.

Emily felt Alison sigh into their embrace. Emily pulled back, moving so she was in front of her wife. She pushed a sticky strand of baby food covered hair away from her face.

"Listen, I don't know if you're ready for this," Emily said softly. "It just seems like it's really hard for you…"

Alison felt offended by the suggestion that she somehow wasn't strong enough to be a super-mom.

Why wasn't Emily freaking out? It made her feel like a basketcase. It made things worse. She wanted Emily to be as miserable as she was. That's what marriage and parenting were all about. They were supposed to be in it together. And she knew it was childish to feel that way, but misery loved company.

"Why is it so easy for you?" Alison snapped.

"Ativan. Ambien. Xanax." Emily shrugged. "Take your pick."

"I'm serious. How can you be so calm about this?"

"You're kidding, right?" Emily asked. "Ali, I haven't slept in two weeks. I've been making lists. LISTS. Like my mother. I've been sneaking out of bed to watch him sleep at night…"

"You do that, too?" Alison smiled warmly.

"I do. I do everything you do. I drive myself crazy worrying about the "what ifs" and "worst case scenarios". But then I remember one very glaring detail that we seem to be forgetting…"

"What?"

"We've done this before. And they're right in the next room, very much safe and alive…"

"Oh my God. That feels like a lifetime ago. The golden years…when they couldn't talk yet." She grinned. "Was I this worried about them?"

"You were a total headcase." Emily didn't sugarcoat it.

"Gee, thanks for thinking about my feelings." Alison quipped back sarcastically.

"I was, too." Emily reminded her, wrapping her arms around Alison for another hug. "We were both still so shaken up about everything Mary and Alex put us through. It felt like death and destruction was around every corner."

They still thought a lot about what they'd gone through when they were younger. They had managed to come out stronger in the end. But they still had bad days. Sometimes they still jumped when they heard a phone go off or saw someone in a black hoodie wandering the street. Sometimes they still feared that someone would come after Lily and Grace.

"If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything." Emily kissed her. "Those days are long gone. And Lily and Grace are totally fine."

They heard the girls squabbling over something.

"Give that back!" Lily hit Grace with her History book.

"Ow, what the hell?" Grace retaliated by socking her in the stomach with her bookbag.

"Well, they're mostly fine." Emily took it as a win. "And Sam will be, too."

She walked over to their son, who was doused in all of the colors of the rainbow. Somehow he had managed to get his food all over himself and not his bib. They would definitely have to change him again.

"So, are we still doing this today?" Emily asked, dabbing the orange mess of carrot mush off of his face.

Sam made a face and started to whine. He shoved Emily's hands away, but she easily managed to grip his fingers and wipe them clean with a baby wipe. She gave him a handful of cheerios to keep him from screaming bloody murder about being cleaned up.

"I'm ready," Alison said calmly. "I think I was just freaking out because the idea of leaving him is too much. I just know I'm going to miss…"

She was interrupted by a flying cheerio smacking her in the eye, followed by a devilish giggle.

"You were saying?" Emily couldn't help but laugh. Because it looked like Alison was ready to bail on breakfast duty and never come back.

"Absolutely one hundred percent ready." Alison made a face at her messy son.

He laughed.

"Good. We have nothing to worry about. It's not like we're leaving him with strangers. I mean, it's Aria. The most dangerous thing they'll be doing is discussing the allegories in Ancient Roman Philosophy."

Alison frowned, her brow crinkling in a strange sense of disapproval.

"I don't know that I'd say that we have nothing to worry about. Didn't Malcolm have to get stitches on her watch once?"

"Yeah, and Finn broke his thumb on our watch. Kids bang into stuff. It's what they do." Emily brushed it off. "At the end of the day an adult's job is to just make sure the kid doesn't die. That's all."

"How uplifting." Alison gave her a hard time. "You should write a children's book."

"It's true." Emily shrugged. "Everything we've been through…we've survived. And it won't be any different for our kids. They're resilient. And we made them that way. How many times did we tell the girls not to bother us unless there was blood or they could see bone?" Emily asked.

"God, I still remember when Grace fell and smacked her head on that brick playground when she was three. I swear I thought it hurt me than it hurt her."

"We'll just pretend she was messed up in the head before that." Emily teased.

"We can still hear you!" Grace grumbled, walking into the kitchen.

"Be still, my beating heart. Is that, per chance, a teenager awakened from her slumber in the early dawn of the morn?" Alison joked.

"Your kids are going to eat you alive in class today." Grace was in no mood for her mother's banter. She saw her brother plucking at his cheerios and she smiled at him. "Morning, Sammy. Look at you. Breakfast of champions. Who's the strongest little peanut in the world?" She cooed.

"Why aren't you this nice to your teachers?" Emily questioned.

"You want me to talk to my teachers the way I talk to an infant?"

"Anything besides calling your gym coach a repressed crybaby on 'roids is an upgrade." Emily said.

Lily sauntered into the kitchen, dragging her feet. She grabbed a banana and sat down at the table next to Sam. He immediately turned his attention to the fruit. She broke a piece of the banana off and offered it to him. He smashed it with his fingers, got it coated in cheerios and then started sucking on the mush.

"Heard you're going to Fitz Manner, little dude. You're going to love it. Auntie Aria will sneak you pixie sticks and let you watch cartoons all day." Grace tousled his hair.

Sam reached out to swat at her, getting bananas and cheerios all over her arm. Lily laughed.

"Let's see how you like it." Grace wiped her hand on Lily's shirt.

Sam thought it was hilarious, so he started slinging food all over the place again. The girls were like a tornado of destruction. They always started something, and Sam was quick to join in.

Alison stood by the sink, washing off a dish. Emily leaned against the cabinet and faced her. The blonde seemed lost in thought.

"Still worried we're not ready for this?" Emily questioned, grabbing a towel so she could dry the dish.

"Not at all." Alison glanced over her shoulder. Her kitchen was getting messier by the minute. "I'm just wondering how much it would cost for us to leave Lily and Grace at Aria's, too. Maybe we could just sneak them in the back and then drive away."

Emily snorted out a laugh. They glanced at their kids. It felt like just yesterday that they were dropping the twins off with Emily's mom for the first time. They had both cried in the car. But as the day went on their guilt started to ease and their anxiety faded. And the excitement of not having to listen to the same nursery rhymes 500 times in a row helped return their sanity to normal.

Alison knew it would be the same with their son. She was emotional about leaving him, but she was also enthusiastic to get back to a world away from drool and flying spoons and cheerios. She knew she was going to have plenty of time to watch him grow up.