Hello everyone, thank you for reading this far. And a big thank you to all that favorited, followed and left a review to this story.
This chapter does not really move the story forward, but lately I've been literally obsessed with the song "everything I wanted" by Billie Eilish and this chapter just popped into my mind. I don't know why, but I feel like it could be one of my favourite... to me it felt sweet and simple.
Before she put her high-neck sweater on, Kakashi noticed a new accessory had popped up in Asuka's outfit. The key to his old house had been turned into a trinket, now hanging from a thin chain around the woman's neck.
He smiled softly at her when his eyes met her curious gaze, as Asuka's head came out of the sweater, her hair messy with static electricity. "I see you liked my present," he said, pointing at her chest.
Asuka's eyebrows lightly raised in realization, and she gently tugged the neck of her sweater and produced the necklace from underneath it. "Yeah. It's meaningful." She was looking at him with that warm smile on her face, and Kakashi just knew she was implying so much more. He reached for her and pressed his lips onto hers, then tugged his mask back up.
"Do you think you would have accepted, had I asked you back then?"
Asuka's reply came straight away. It was not like she needed to reflect on it. "Of course." She then started chuckling. "Provided you were still alive after I told my father. I think the news could have caused either his stroke, or your death," she giggled, wiping an amused tear from the corner of her eye.
Kakashi scoffed. "Nah, Sarutobi-sama doted on me," he replied, smiling. He really believed his words. In his younger days, he had caused much trouble and had been truly fucked up. But Sandaime had always forgiven him and considered Kakashi his right-hand man.
"By the way, I was wondering… When did you decide you wanted to live with me? Because… you know… After that day, I kinda thought about it too…"
Kakashi nodded. He knew what day she was talking about. "October 30th, fourteen years ago. The night after your singing contest."
"Oh, great. Now I'm gonna cry again. Fuck," Asuka said, annoyed by her emotional reaction. She brought a hand to her mouth and looked away, too moved to dare speak again, but she welcomed Kakashi's body against hers.
"Come in," the deep voice of the Hokage prompted. As Asuka opened the door, she was greeted by her smiling father. "Oh, hello my dear."
Asuka's lips puckered. She didn't like it when her father called her with affectionate nicknames when not in a family setting. It made her feel like a protégé of some sort.
"Good morning, Hokage-sama. I'm here to ask for permission to leave Konoha for a day, the day after tomorrow." Hiruzen's eyebrow twitched at his daughter's formality, but he let that go. "What's the matter?" He asked.
Asuka's cheeks tainted pink. "Uhm… There's this singing contest in the capital, and Rika-sensei would like for me to participate…" her eyes travelled sideways, "She has already entered my name, actually."
"You're still on your leave, aren't you?" Asuka shrugged. "It's not like I asked for it," she replied.
Less than two weeks before, she had summoned Gashadokuro and her mission had turned into a massacre. Given her bloody appearance and the catatonic state in which she had come back, her father had given her a two-week leave from her duties.
Suddenly finding herself forcibly put aside from action, she had desperately tried to keep her mind occupied elsewhere. She had intensified her singing lessons, she had been studying and training hard, managing to perfect her new sealing jutsu, and she had spent more time around Naruto. She managed to smile and laugh with the child as usual, as he didn't seem affected by the fact that he had just recently been abducted and almost killed, which had led Sandaime to intensify the ANBU guard around him at all time of the day and night.
She had stayed at Kakashi's since that day, sneaking away from the Hokage residence at sunset and going back during the day when she wanted to see Naruto. She suspected her family knew about that, but nobody seemed to mind. Probably, her father had asked Asuma and Toshiro to cut her some slack.
She was trying hard to be the warm person Kakashi needed, she really was. His speech about darkness, that night, had her worried about the boy. Asuka had even asked her father to consider assigning him to another division. She felt bad for fundamentally trying to sabotage him behind his back, but she was sincerely preoccupied. ANBU could take a huge toll on one's mental sanity, and given the fact that Kakashi's missions were mainly assassinations, she was surprised he had not freaked out yet.
However, right then it really seemed as if the one in need of support was her. Kakashi had resumed his missions shortly after that night, but he tried to not stay away more than a day. She had had trouble sleeping in those days. Every night, when Gashadokuro's eyes glinted at her in the dark, Kakashi was there. Every night, he welcomed her into his arms. They kissed and made love, and every time was more mind-blowing than ever. But then, darkness enveloped her in her dreams, and she sought refuge in Kakashi's arms, once again. He hugged her tight and whispered sweet, calming words to her ear, and she would eventually fall asleep. But the black circles around her eyes were indicators that her sleep was not as peaceful as it once had been. She would eventually overcome that, she knew. It was not the first time she had killed someone. But, for the first time, she had actually enjoyed the act, and that was what freaked her out the most. She needed to get stronger. Physically and mentally.
"Of course you can go," the Hokage said, gently smiling at his daughter. Then, his eyes drifted to a paper on his desk. "Actually," he said, taking the paper and reading through it, "would you mind doing a little mission in the capital, while you're there?" He asked, handing her the paper. Asuka read through it. "A C-rank mission?" She asked, her eyebrow raised. Didn't they have genin available?
"Yeah, but it's your field," he replied, smiling. That one in particular said 'exorcism'. Her lips tightened. Ugh. I can already picture that. A possessed object turning out to be a prank by some stupid kids.
In spite of her doubts on the truthfulness of the matter, Asuka nodded.
"You can take part in the contest and, the next day, look into this. They said it's not that urgent."
The girl frowned. "Not urgent? An exorcism? Sounds like a scam, dad. Uhm, I mean, Hokage-sama." The man laughed. "Yeah. I wasn't that convinced about it, either. But even if it turns out that's just some prank, they're still going to pay."
"Ok…" Asuka conceded, then looked at her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. "Uhm…"
Just say it, for fuck's sake! Ask him to come see you!
Hiruzen was looking questioningly at her. "Is something the matter, Asuka?" He inquired, watching the girl stiffen. Then she shook her head. "No, never mind. I'll see you later, dad," she replied, before turning on her heels and leaving.
"Asuka, are you ready? Have you warmed up? You're the fifth to perform."
The girl absent-mindedly nodded at Rika-sensei, not really listening to her words. Her focus was on all the other kids in the changing room behind the stage of the theatre they were in.
Specifically, her eyes settled on bitch Miko and idiot Daisuke. They were seventeen, the same age as Asuka, but nowhere like her. Probably because they were civilians. Their lives were totally different. Not because of their social class; Miko was the only daughter of the president of Konoha Bank, while Daisuke's parents owned a well-known restaurant in the village. All three kids were both rich and somewhat privileged inside the village. The main difference lied in the fact that Miko and Daisuke had grown up pampered and protected. Even in war times, casualties were mainly among shinobi, and if there were any civilians among the injured and dead, more often than not, they were among the poorest people.
Asuka had never managed to bond with her two peers. They just didn't have anything in common. Miko liked to talk about nail polish, hairstyles and the bitch in her class that had kissed her ex-boyfriend (but she had already taken her revenge making out with the guy she was interested in), while Daisuke mainly threw shit on his school teachers for giving him bad grades. Ten days before, Asuka had slaughtered more than a hundred people.
Provided they lived to see that age, at seventeen shinobi were already almost tired with their life, while a civilian teenager had only started living.
But that was not what annoyed Asuka the most, about Miko and Daisuke.
She looked at their smiling faces. They both were surrounded by their families and friends. Daisuke's classmates had even ditched school, that day, to come to the capital of the Land of Fire and watch their friend's contest. Miko's father had taken a day off work just to accompany her daughter there.
Asuka bit the inside of her cheek and looked around herself. Nobody had come. But she understood, and that was ok. Her father couldn't take a day off. Not during a war. Her brothers and Mira were away on missions. Midori was working at the Academy, and Gyon was busy decrypting some enemy documents that Team Ro had retrieved a few days before. Naruto, being the nine-tailed demon host, could not exit the village. Kakashi was on a mission, too. He had left the previous day, but he had promised her he would have tried to end it soon and come see her. Still, even if he wouldn't, it was ok. She understood.
"Come on, Asuka, don't pout like that." Rika-sensei scoffed, and her fingers gripped the girl's chin, turning her head in her direction. "Now, stay still while I'm trying to put make-up on you." Asuka never used make-up. Together with her female classmates at the Academy, she had been taught once how to apply make-up, just like they had been taught how to arrange flowers and do other things that would come in handy in case they needed to appeal to their female qualities in a mission. Being admitted into the black ops at 13, however, made her forget almost all about what she had been taught in that regard. She considered make-up a waste of time for her, since nobody would admire it if her face was hidden behind a mask. Also, after a day of sweating and fighting, she doubted it could resist till night without smudging and making her look like a stoned panda.
"There," the older woman said, looking at Asuka with a satisfied expression. "Look at you. You were already beautiful, but you're breathtaking now." Asuka looked at her reflection in the mirror of the changing room and was speechless. She had never seen herself like that. The dusty-blue dress Midori had helped her choose grazed softly her curves, highlighting her figure but at the same time giving the sensation of an ethereal body. Also, she didn't often reveal that much skin, without a mesh shirt or leggings underneath her dresses. The skin of her face looked smoother and healthier, no trace of the dark bags under her eyes, with a light tinge of rose on her cheeks. Rika-sensei had told her that, with her natural colors, it was better to have a pink-toned blush rather than an orange one. Asuka didn't know what that meant, but she liked the result, nonetheless. Her eyes seemed even greener thanks to the contrast with a purple eyeshadow. Rika-sensei had kept her lips simple, covering them with a nude lipstick. They were already big and plump, no need to make them seem bigger.
Asuka noticed how Daisuke was looking at her. He had already tried to hit on her, and she had promptly rejected him. She averted her eyes just as her ears caught giggling behind her. She turned around and found two girls laughing. Just as her eyes rested on them, they promptly turned around, still giggling. Asuka clenched her teeth, discomfort growing in her chest. She knew they were mocking her.
"Isn't that the Hokage's daughter?"
"That's what I heard, too."
"What's a kunoichi doing here?"
"Who does she think she is? As if ninja could do other things besides fighting and killing."
"And what's with that dress and make-up? Does she think she's like us?"
"Does she know that we're not at a beauty pageant?"
"Pathetic. There's nobody accompanying her."
"Yeah. I feel bad for her. If not even a friend has come, she must be terrible."
"Ah-ha. I heard her rehearse. Awful. Do you know she wrote the song she's going to sing? That was horrible."
"Fucking conceited bitch. She thinks she's better than us."
"Fucking ninja should just be better off fighting for their Land, not trying to live normal lives."
Her legs felt like jelly, but Asuka managed to get away and fled to the toilet. Her breathing was fast and shallow. She leaned on the sink and grabbed the edge, trying to recompose herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then looked back at her reflection in the mirror. Those two bitches… she knew they were talking about her. She knew they were mocking her way of life. It didn't matter if she had imagined their verbal exchange; she knew that was what they were saying.
The door of the restroom opened, and bitch Miko entered with her bitch girlfriends. She looked towards the sink and spotted Asuka. Her expression was worried as she approached the kunoichi, while the other girls went into the toilets. Miko put a hand on her back. "Is everything ok?"
Her voice was irritatingly sweet. Even when she sang, her voice was light and gracious. A far cry from Asuka's powerful, energetic tone, that Rika-sensei sometimes described as violent.
Asuka's head snapped to her left, meeting Miko's gaze. That bitch. Pretending she cared for her. She was mocking her, too. Her face scrunched in irritation. She did not reply, and just passed by her, exiting the restroom. She pretended not to notice the hurt look in the girl's eyes.
The four people who had performed before her were amazing. They had sung covers of famous love songs, and the audience had all but applauded and cheered on them. She was up next. The song she had written felt suddenly inadequate. It was the first love song she had managed to write. Rika-sensei had praised her for it, but it seemed now as if it were too simple and immature. Nothing special. It just wasn't enough. And it was far too personal. All those people would just make fun of her.
"Good luck."
"Do your best, Asuka-chan!"
She didn't even spare a glance to Miko and Daisuke. Their encouraging words just went unheard to her ears.
Miko was not a bitch.
Daisuke was not an idiot.
Asuka was.
Asuka reached the microphone stand on the stage and looked at the audience in front of her.
Silence. Stern eyes watching her. Tight lips expressing disgust. Unspoken doubts about a kunoichi wanting to be normal. A killer, pretending to be normal? Nobody she loved was there. Not her family, not her friends, not Kakashi. Of course. Who was she trying to fool? Shinobi could not lead normal lives. They were just killing machines.
Her lips parted, but no sound came out.
A surprised murmur spread among the audience as Asuka disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The capital was different than Konoha. For starters, it was easily ten times bigger. That was good, since it meant there were so many people she didn't know and who didn't care about a girl sitting along the riverbank by herself at night, with a bottle of sake by her side. But more people meant also more perverts around, looking for innocent girls to harass.
When she heard some rustling behind her, Asuka sighed. "Ok, now I'm getting annoyed. I'm not interest in either touching or seeing your genitals, and even less interested in showing you mine. Just get the fuck off and leave me alone, you perverted freak, or I swear I'll beat the shit-"
Her eyes widened and her breath was caught in her throat as Asuka saw one displeased eye staring at her.
"Who wanted to see your genitals?" Kakashi asked, a tinge of irritation in his tone. Asuka swiftly turned her head away from his direction and looked in front of her at the river flowing silently. "A few creepy perverts. I swear they are much more explicit than in Konoha."
She kept her gaze to the river in front of her as Kakashi sat next to her.
"You're still underage. You shouldn't drink."
Asuka scoffed. In Konoha, sometimes she and Midori would perform a transformation jutsu to turn themselves into adults, usually Midori's old relatives, and buy alcohol, which they would consume in their hiding spot by the river. That was their little secret. "A little sake won't do me any harm. You should try it, too, you know. I'm sure the stick up your ass would hurt less." Asuka bit the inside of her cheek. Now, that comment was totally uncalled for and definitely not necessary. Was she angry at him? He had treated her like a princess for the past weeks, she had no reasons to be annoyed. Except for him not being there with her that day. Why was he there, now, when everything had ended? "Fuck," she cursed, out of frustration, her fingers closing on the grass beneath her and tearing a few strands, then throwing them into the river.
Had it been any other person spitting venom on him, Kakashi would have stood up and left. Instead, he stayed silent and grabbed the bottle between them. He opened it and brought it briefly to his nose, before quickly pulling his mask down and knocking it back, then put the empty bottle back to the ground and settled his mask back on his face.
"You're right, that's good," he said. Asuka was still, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, stunned, probably expecting him to throw up immediately, given the amount of alcohol he had consumed in a gulp, but the boy just stayed there, stoic, as if alcohol was just as fresh and harmless as water. After a while, she went back to looking at the river, her arms hugging her legs and her head resting on her knees.
"I met your teacher on my way here." Kakashi noticed the girl's shoulder slump lightly. "I heard about the contest."
"It's nothing big. I just didn't feel like singing," was Asuka's court reply.
Kakashi didn't comment on her obvious lie. He had ended his mission a day ahead, and Sandaime had given him permission to go to the capital, also telling him to act as a back-up for Asuka during her mission, the following day. He had spotted Rika-sensei and her two civilian students on the road to Konoha, while he was rushing to the capital hoping to make it on time. She had told him how Asuka had disappeared while on stage, and she was now worried as she still didn't know anything about the girl's whereabouts, but she had to accompany the other kids back to the village before night came, so she had had to leave. Kakashi had told her not to worry. Asuka was more than capable to manage on her own.
"I'm sorry for not making it to your performance." He watched as her lips scrunched and then tightened into a fine line.
"You don't have to apologize. I understand." She managed to say, in the end, but she was still avoiding any other form of either physical or eye contact.
Kakashi was frankly having enough with this passive-aggressive bitchy version of his most favorite person in the world. It was a depressing and annoying sight to behold. He needed to act and ignite a spark from inside of her, or she would only slip deeper into the darkness.
"I never thought you were such a coward." He sentenced.
"I'm not a coward." She whispered back, clearly irritated.
Kakashi grinned lightly under his mask.
"I think you are. Got cold feet and fled. A true example of a coward." Asuka's head shot towards him, her brows furrowed, and then the spark ignited at full force.
"Maybe I left because I am a fucking ninja. Because all I should do is fight and kill. Because I should not lose my and everyone else's time with such a frivolous activity. Because you, and Asuma, and dad, and everyone else, you're all too busy to come and watch me, and it makes me think that nobody cares. And I know that it's not like that, but I can't stop these thoughts from coming to my mind. And I feel so childish, so stupid. I was happy today when I saw myself in the mirror, I felt really cute, you know, and that really encouraged me, I thought I could actually go to the stage and claim first place, but then I realized that all the other kids had their family and friends there, and I felt alone because nobody was there to see me, and even if I won, it wouldn't mean anything without you there. And this song, I wrote it thinking about you, but if you're not there, then it makes no sense. And these thoughts make me feel so stupid, so shallow, but I can't help them."
Asuka vomited all the feelings that had pent up inside and they all came out like a flowing river of words that ran over Kakashi. She went on for a while rumbling about her perceived inadequacy and feeling out of place among the other civilians, about how her skills were not even that good, and in the end she deflated.
Kakashi let out a sigh and looked amusedly at her. He was relieved that Asuka, his passionate Asuka, was still there, and that she hadn't become a hollow shell of herself.
"What's so funny?" She asked, visibly annoyed. Kakashi didn't reply and grabbed her by the wrist, and the two disappeared, leaving behind an empty sake bottle.
"What are we doing here?" Asuka asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest and balancing her weight on her left hip, looking at the rear entrance of the theatre, in front of them.
It was dark already, even though it wasn't late night yet. The girl raised her eyebrow and she watched Kakashi crouch down in front of the door to the theatre.
"I don't know if you noticed, but it's closed," she deadpanned, then heard a clicking sound. Kakashi's head turned her way, a naughty glint in his eye. "Not anymore," he said, giving a push and letting the door open. "Let's go in, before anyone sees us," he said, ushering Asuka inside.
Once inside, Kakashi found the switchboard and turned the lights on, then took Asuka by the wrist and led her to the orchestra.
"Now, go to the stage and sing. I want to listen."
Only then did he take a good look at Asuka, and his Adam's apple visibly bobbed. He hadn't noticed her looks, before, in the dark. Holy shit, she was gorgeous. Her make-up was not excessive, but it enhanced her features, making her seem more mature. He felt the impulse to pass a hand behind her head and pull her into him, kissing her lips until they felt like melting into one another. His eye then followed her neck down to her cleavage, and then zoomed out and took in her figure.
How the hell could someone look so innocent, yet so tempting, at the same time? The deep V-neck of her dress exposed her chest but somehow nothing too inappropriate was shown. Kakashi's eye lingered on her clavicles and the curve of her breast that peeked from the cleavage, then noticed how the dress tightened around her waist and flared over her hips, its hem reaching down to her mid-thigh, leaving a lot of her legs exposed. He took in the shape of her lean limbs and noticed how smooth they looked. Heh, he knew they were smooth. His hands and mouth had wandered over Asuka's legs a lot in those two years, but it never stopped amazing him just how attracted he was to her.
Asuka's words distracted him from his hormonal storm. "What do you mean?" She was asking.
The boy plopped down onto one of the front-row seats. "Exactly what you heard. Go up there and sing for me. Show me you're not a coward."
At those words, Asuka stiffened visibly, then cast a glance towards the stage "You're drunk," she sentenced. Kakashi leaned towards her and grabbed her arms.
"Listen. All those thoughts you're having… they're irrational, negative and potentially destructive, but they're your thoughts, anyway. You must face them; you cannot run away. Ninja are different from civilians, that's true. We are not 'normal'. But we are still human. Without humanity, we are beasts." Asuka's eyes widened. "You told me this, do you remember? The day when we had lunch at Kushina's. You told me you sang because you needed something that made you feel human. I know it hurts, and I know it's hard. The blood on your hands won't disappear that easily. But you must find a way to live on, because you're amazing, and you deserve to be happy, even as a ninja. Don't let those thoughts eat you."
Asuka's head nodded briefly, and her fingers grazed his hands, freeing her arms from his grip. She turned around and went up the five steps to get on stage. She found the microphone stand to the left of the stage and brought it to the center. The microphone was still plugged in.
The first notes came out from her mouth as a quiver. She didn't have any instruments or recorded base. It was just her, her voice and her words. She quickly became more confident, as she let her toxic thoughts go away from her mind.
The song was about trust and affection. It talked about the relief in being comforted at the awakening after a bad dream. Even though it might have seemed simple, Kakashi perceived the heavy burden she was carrying. He thought back to the previous nights. He couldn't help noticing Asuka's disturbed sleep pattern. Even though they had never spent a whole night together in the past, he knew that her constant stirring and nightmares were not normal.
When the song ended, Kakashi applauded, his visible eye closed in an honest smile. "Uhm… may I go on some more?" Asuka asked, her finger scratching her cheek.
"To your heart's content," he replied, feeling his heart accelerate at the warm smile he was rewarded with. "Or until someone comes," he added, making Asuka giggle.
From his seat, Kakashi was looking at Asuka with a feeling he recognized was close to adoration. She had been singing for quite a while, now, and she seemed to have let herself go. She was dancing to the music in her head and, even if Kakashi didn't know how it could be possible, he felt as if he could hear it too. A steady, low beat, that rumbled in his chest and made Asuka sway her hips left and right, her arms up above her head and her head oscillating as she moved and sang. Sometimes her eyes were closed, other times she had them open and looking at Kakashi, smirking. He didn't know if Asuka realized what she was doing to him, all the thoughts she was spurring into his mind, not even touching him. Just her eyes and her voice were enough to have his heart thumping inside his chest and his mind in overdrive.
He wanted more moments like that, just the two of them enjoying their time together. He wanted to make her smile, and giggle, and laugh, and feel loved. He wanted to hold her in his arms every night, wake up beside her every day, and find her waiting for him when he came back from a mission.
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
He was screwed.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sound coming from the entrance of the theatre. So someone had finally noticed they had broken into, uh? In a second, he was in front of Asuka. "We must go," he whispered. She nodded hastily and took the hand he was offering, her heart fluttering as Kakashi squeezed her hand. She followed him as he ran backstage and back to the path they had come from. She could hear some men screaming at fucking hobos who break into public places, and she felt a rush of adrenaline through her body. Through her mind flashed a memory of her and Asuma playing hide-and-seek with their dad.
Asuka and Kakashi got out of the theatre easily and unnoticed, given their ninja status and consequent ability at stealth. Once out through the back door, Kakashi hid briefly in a side alley and looked around himself, to make sure they weren't followed. His pride would be greatly hurt if he were to be caught by simple civilians, after all. When he let his guard down, understanding the men had given up on chasing them, he exhaled, and noticed Asuka was crouched on the ground, her shoulders quivering. What the hell? He promptly kneeled before her, gripping her arms, only to discover that Asuka was trying hard to suppress a booming laughter, her hands clutching her mouth, her eyes closed and little tears brimming on the corner of her eyes. It took a while for her to recompose herself, but in the end she managed to get back on her feet, her body shaken by occasional giggles. Kakashi observed the girl slowly coming back to normality, until she sighed and looked at him with a wide smile, her head tilted and her eyes half-lidded. "Just what I needed. Thank you, Kakashi."
She stepped forward and hugged him, an arm snaking behind his head, her hand gently gripping his hair, and the other closing around his shoulders. He immediately reacted, welcoming her into his arms, clutching her waist and nuzzling her neck. "I'm glad to see you're back, Asuka."
Yes, he was screwed. But being in love was a nice way of being screwed, nonetheless.
He registered her fingers bringing down the hem of his mask to his neck, and he lifted his face from her neck, took off his forehead protector and slid it into the pocket of his pants, and gently placed his forehead on hers just as Asuka leaned in and kissed him, her hand settled on the back of his neck to pull him towards her even more. He was quick to respond, parting his lips and letting her tongue enter his mouth, contently meeting it with his own.
Kakashi groaned into their kiss as he felt Asuka's hand slide into his pants and fondle him. She smirked when she felt him harden in her hand, and she closed her fingers around his shaft. The boy bit her lower lip and looked at her, his eyes dark with lust. "Maybe we should go somewhere else…" he whispered. The boy had never been a fan of PDA. "But I want you now," Asuka responded, almost whining, while she caressed him harder, smirking when she felt her back pressed against a wall and Kakashi's manhood pushed into her hand as he shoved his hips forward and one of his hands squeezed her butt. She pulled her arm out of the cleavage of her dress, freeing the left side of her torso, then took his hand and placed it on her breast, covered by the thin fabric of her bra. Kakashi's fingers slid under the fabric and enjoyed the softness of her skin.
"You're incredible," he whispered among accelerated breaths.
"I hope you're meaning it in a positive way, as if in 'you're fabulous'," she joked, her high-pitched voice imitating the host of a TV show she liked to watch. "You know, my teacher at the academy always told me I was incredible. But she just meant incredibly lazy."
Kakashi laughed heartedly.
I mean it as if in 'I love you.'
But Kakashi was not going to say that out loud. Not there, in a dark alley, against a wall, at least. This time, he wouldn't screw up when expressing his feelings. He had felt so ashamed after that babbling about darkness and her being his sun. He wanted to confess his feelings properly, at the right time and place.
The small frown on Asuka's face and sideway glance to her left brought him back to reality. The hand inside his pants stopped its motion and her other hand rested on his mouth, as she leaned in closer. "I think there's someone there," she whispered. Instinctively, Kakashi held Asuka closer to him, letting his Sharingan wander on their surroundings, until he noticed a man in the dark, a few meters away from them, hidden behind a dumpster. He registered his labored breath and how his chakra was concentrated around his belly, and down to his crotch.
"No way," Kakashi exclaimed, exasperated. He then pointed at the direction of the man with his head, addressing Asuka. "I think that guy's been jerking off watching us," he said, earning an amused snort from the girl. "Really?" She asked. "I told you they are much worse than in Konoha," she added. Kakashi sighed. "Can we please go somewhere else, now?" He pleaded, fixing himself up as Asuka put the top part of her dress back on. She then giggled and butterfly-kissed his lips. "Yeah. I got a room in a hotel nearby. Are you staying for the night?" She asked. At his nod, she smiled and took his hand, prompting him to follow her, shouting a loud "Pervert!" towards the man that was peeking on them.
When the alarm clock went off, that morning, Asuka felt her heart skip a beat as her eyes focused on Kakashi, looking back at her. How nice it was to wake up to him. The previous week, even though she had slept at his house, he would always be gone on a mission when she woke up. Seeing him there was such a good change of pace.
Also, she hadn't had a nightmare that night. She had slept like a log and right now she was feeling fine and fully rested.
"Good morning, sunshine," she said. "Looking at me sleeping like a stalker?"
"You woke me up with your snoring," came his serious reply.
"How can you say something like that? I do not snore!" Asuka exclaimed. Kakashi sighed. "Yes, you do. And your morning breath stinks of rotten eggs."
The girl gasped an outraged What?!
Where had doting Kakashi gone? "You're just being mean!" She pouted, grabbing the comforter and pushing it over her head. The silver-haired boy chuckled, grabbed the comforter and uncovered Asuka, his arms at her waist to pull her towards him, the he rolled on top of her and trapped her under his body. "Rotten eggs in the morning are my favorite," he whispered, before pushing his lips against hers and letting his tongue slip inside her mouth. She was quick to respond, putting her arms around his neck.
"You fucking smartass," Asuka said, when they parted for air. "If you weren't this hot, I would have kicked your ass for insulting me."
He looked at her with half-lidded eyes. "Yeah, as if you could," he teased, then kissed her again, feeling her legs crossing around his waist. It was surprising just how intoxicated they were of each other. They had fallen asleep a few hours before after a couple of love-making rounds and cuddles, yet their bodies still craved for their mutual touch. When they parted for breath, Kakashi looked at Asuka again, contemplating her face. Her short hair splayed out on the pillow, a few wavy strands across her forehead; the eyeshadow and mascara she had worn the day before had smudged and formed a dark blur around her eyes, but the green of her irises was still so intense and deep, that he could have lost himself in it. Under her left eye, the mole that had been the topic of their first interaction. He mentally thanked the gods above for making him approach her, that day. Her plump lips, a little swollen due to the kisses they had exchanged.
She was his goddess.
Kakashi startled a little when Asuka placed her hands on his cheeks. "Are you alright?" She asked, her brows furrowed. He had been staring at her for a while, an unreadable expression in his eyes, but the weight and intensity of his stare had her feeling somewhat awkward. She smirked, trying to tone his seriousness down. "I know you're mesmerized by my overwhelming beauty," she started, "but we were in the middle of something interesting…" She proved her point by grinding her crotch against the boy's, her legs sliding down around his thighs and tightening their grip. Kakashi's eyes found their focus and his hips instinctively pushed forward, the friction eliciting a moan from Asuka. "I'm starting to think you're a big pervert," he whispered, teasing her, and Asuka did not deny that statement. "Healthy sexual appetite. Sounds better, don't you think? Besides, you seem to enjoy it," she replied, squeezing the boy's buttock. "I do," he said, his voice low with desire. Asuka licked her lips in anticipation as their crotches rubbed against each other. "And your beauty is indeed mesmerizing," Kakashi said, not waiting for her reply before kissing her and entering her, his hands gripping her hips.
His decision was taken. The night of her eighteenth birthday. Kakashi would confess his love for Asuka and ask her to move in with him.
"So, what's the plan?"
The look Asuka gave Kakashi had him almost reconsider his decision. Too bad he was hopelessly in love with the kunoichi.
"You don't have a plan," he deadpanned.
Asuka scratched her cheek, looking at anywhere but the boy. "Uhm, sure I do… We go inside and I seal that thing," she said tentatively, pointing at the sturdy, decorated red and golden door that led to the main hall of the complex they were in.
Kakashi tried hard not to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
"It's usually Tora-taichou who comes up with a strategy. But don't worry, we'll be fine. Fuuinjutsu is my thing," the girl said, apologizing.
The C-rank mission had turned out to be quite serious. Possibly, they were dealing with a B, or even an A-rank mission. Bakeneko were demon cats that usually haunted people who mistreated animals. Asuka wondered what the hell those people might have done for such an evil spirit to appear. Apparently, the clients had underrated the demon that was haunting their house because of its cute looks, but they got alarmed once their eldest son had been attacked, the night before. He had scratches on his whole body and his right eye was seriously compromised.
"What should I do, then?" Kakashi asked. When he had told Asuka, earlier that morning, that he would be her back-up for the mission, she had started bragging about being a captain for once. Now he regretted not imposing himself over her decision. Asuka was clearly an excellent soldier, but no captain. She worked in a team, she was used to receiving orders, and now it was clear she didn't know what to do with Kakashi as her subordinate. She confirmed his thoughts when she said "I've never been that great strategist; what about we improvise? Just don't let the cat scratch you. It can be quite annoying, you know."
Kakashi sighed. He was in serious-ninja-mode now, and he did not like to joke when he was on a mission. Improvisation was rarely successful. And he liked his missions to be successful. The two times they hadn't, he had lost his two teammates.
"Tell me more about the enemy," he ordered.
Asuka rolled her eyes. "It's not an enemy, it's a spirit. It's its nature to be aggressive."
He sighed. Again. "Ok. Tell me more about the spirit, then," he prompted, watching as Asuka placed her hands on the door and a green light emitted from her fingers and spread onto the door and the wall.
"It's called Bakeneko. As you saw, it is a demon cat. Fire chakra, ability to transform into other animals and to cast illusions on its opponent. Oh yes, poisonous claws. I've fought against one of them in the past, but this one in particular seems pretty angry."
Kakashi nodded. With this information, he could think of a plan. He could use water-based chakra attacks, and Asuka's earth-based jutsu could come in handy, too. With his Sharingan, he could tell illusions apart from reality, but he needed to watch out for Asuka. She sucked at genjutsu. In his pouch he had a basic medical kit, but nothing against poisons. He wondered if Asuka was prepared against it. He then felt the weight of her gaze on him.
"Trust me on this. Don't rely on the strategy you've been thinking about too much. Be ready to adapt. Demons do not think like us humans at all."
"What are you doing?" The boy asked, as Asuka was still intent on releasing chakra onto the wall.
"It's a pre-sealing stage. It stays effective until its caster either dispels it or dies. With this, I'm sure it won't escape the room as long as I'm alive. But that also means that it knows someone's here and their intentions. It probably is getting more and more pissed off by the second."
"So, it's either we seal it and go back to Konoha, or we die and it escapes, uh?"
Asuka smirked. "Isn't it always like that?"
"I must confess, I guess I underestimated your abilities."
Asuka scoffed at Kakashi's admission. "People tend to do that when you have a pretty face and a powerful father."
The boy frowned. "That's not what I meant."
Never once, not even when they didn't talk to each other, had he thought that Asuka had become a jounin very early or been admitted into the anbu because she was Sandaime's daughter. He knew she was strong. But he had never seen a power like hers. It was an extremely difficult sealing technique, combining fuuinjutsu and religious exorcisms. She had never used that during their sparring. Of course, not that it would have been useful in those situations.
Asuka playfully nudged his arm. "Yeah, I know. It can be quite flashy and impressive, uh?" Kakashi nodded. "It's just like a kekkei genkai, so very rare..." He wanted to know more. Ninja were not supposed to talk about their secret techniques, but if Asuka didn't mind explaining, then he would listen.
They were going back to Konoha after successfully completing the mission. In the end, they had discovered that the family that had called them used to perform animal sacrifices in honor of a god that would have granted them a long life of wealth and prosperity. Too bad the only spirit that had manifested itself was one angry at them about their animal massacre. After sealing the cat, Asuka wanted to beat the shit out of their clients, but fortunately Kakashi had stopped her, stating that their son's injuries were enough of a warning not to play with fire anymore. The kid had survived only thanks to the antidote Asuka had brought along, but his eye had been so severely damaged that the doctors had to gauge it out.
"Well, you know that the Hida clan manages this big temple in Konoha," Asuka said, quietly strolling along the path. The two had decided to take their time going back and not rush to the village, to enjoy those moments together before going back to their usual lives. "They've been handing down this type of sealing techniques for generations, and it's usually a female specialty, even though some of my male cousins are fairly good at it. Even Toshiro has some knowledge of it, while Asuma completely sucks."
Kakashi nodded, interested in her words. "It's not something that only us can do, though. It's just…" Asuka sighed deeply and looked at the sky. Kakashi wondered if she was about to let him into a secret of her clan, and his heart sped up a bit.
"Learning it is just so incredibly boring, and the sheer quantity of scrolls you need to study is so huge, that many people usually give up before mastering it."
Kakashi was a little disappointed. No secrets, then. Just study. He eyed Asuka. The kunoichi had never been one to prefer studying to action. She noticed Kakashi's look and anticipated his interjection.
"I was forced to. Grandma practically tied me up at the chair until I could repeat each and every scroll by heart. I hated that. And I remember mum trying to make me escape just to be caught and scolded by Grandma, then forced to study alongside me."
The boy laughed, and Asuka smiled to herself, holding onto those memories. She missed both women.
"You could have focused a bit more on genjutsu during your training, though." Kakashi snarky comment had Asuka blush furiously. When she was fighting with Bakeneko, she had let her guard down for a second to brag about her abilities to Kakashi, and she had been trapped in a powerful illusion. If her companion hadn't been there to snap her out of her daze, by now she would still be playing with puppies and kitties along a river. Or dead.
"Why don't you teach me some tricks when we are back in the village, instead of being a smartass?" She proposed, still with red cheeks. Kakashi eyed her from the corner of his eye. "I'll be as strict as your Grandma," he replied, smirking. Asuka giggled. "You two would have gotten along pretty well: 'Hatake Kakashi and Hida Mikoto, best friends forever.' A nice idea for a sit-com."
Kakashi chuckled at her nonsensical ramblings, then the two proceeded on their path in a comfortable silence. When the green Konoha gate came into view, Asuka slid her hand into Kakashi's, and stopped. He looked questioningly at her, who was staring into his eye. His heart sped up.
"Kakashi… Thank you for all you've done for me these past weeks. I don't know what I would have done without your support."
The boy shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I haven't done anything, really…"
She tugged at his hand. "You've been kind and understanding, and you've never gotten angry at me, even if I have been difficult to deal with. If I had been in your situation, I would have resorted to punch the hell out of me."
It was not all she wanted to tell him. He always made things easier for her. His appearance, the previous night, had been a blessing. When they were together, Asuka couldn't help but feel excited and happy. She wanted to spend every moment possible with him. Was it love? Impossible. That was much more. That consuming, almost exhausting feeling was too strong to be called love. But, if she told him, would he understand?
Kakashi shrugged, his eye gentle, and squeezed her hand. "I would do it again, you know. Anytime."
How could the ninja in Konoha describe him as a cold hearted, ruthless assassin? How could people miss his gentle, kind, sweet side? Of course, the fact that he only showed this side of him to her didn't do much for his reputation. She glanced at the gate, then back at Kakashi.
"I guess that when we get to Konoha, we'll have to go back to normality, uh?" She asked, a veil of sadness in her eyes. Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from asking her to live together right there and then. He wouldn't act on impulse. He had decided. The night of her eighteenth birthday. He wouldn't screw up this time. "We can still see each other when we want to, like we've always done. And you'll resume your missions… Aren't you happy?"
"Yes, but… I liked sleeping at your house." Asuka was fervently hoping he would get the hint. Even though even she was unsure of what exactly was that she was hinting at. He scoffed and tilted his head. "You're welcome to come anytime, Asuka." A tingle of disappointment stung her heart. Maybe he was not at the same level of utter adoration towards her as she was towards him. But that was ok, still. Kakashi was often oblivious when it came to feelings. And they were still young. It was not as if they had to get married right away. Because, of that, she was sure. Her and Kakashi had a future together. A bright, happy future. Both as shinobi and lovers. She could see it clearly as day.
Kakashi smiled at the smacking sound of the kiss to his cheek Asuka had given him. Whatever they had, these past days had only cemented it and made it possible to grow even stronger.
A little more than a week later, all those happy thoughts shattered as Asuka sealed Amanozako.
The bright future she imagined for Kakashi and her dissolved the farthest she went from the village, desperation enveloping her more at each step she took. She was alone, for the first time.
The house where Kakashi dreamed of sharing with Asuka suddenly felt too big and void for him alone, and he felt the urge to break everything he saw inside that had a remote connection to the girl who had left. He was alone, again.