Note: This is the English translation of "Una vida contigo" that I wrote too. English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for the mistakes. Also I know memory loss doesn't work that way, but the intention with this fic was to write a fic as a soap opera, very dramatic an exaggerated.

Henri-Luxembourg / Ling - Fem Hong Kong / Emma- Belgium

Waking Up

Lars looked out the car window, still not daring to say a word. He couldn't think of what to say or how to act. Besides he was sore all over and he felt dizzy. His siblings were finally taking him home. He observed them, having the impression that they both looked a little different from what he remembered. Then, he turned to see the woman next to him, a certain Mei, who said, was his wife. She smiled sweetly at him and wanted to hold his hand, but he instantly pushed away. She continued smiling. He still couldn't accept the idea that he was married.

A few days before, he had woken up in the hospital, and when he did it, his whole life was different from how he remembered it. According to the doctor, the impact he received during that car accident had caused him partial memory loss. He had apparently hit another vehicle while trying to avoid a deer. The fog had obscured the road, and by the time he realized it, the animal was only a short distant away, so by avoiding it, both cars lost control and it ended up in a messy accident.

When he finally reacted and opened his eyes, he was lying in a hospital bed and a woman was holding his hand. Lars asked her who she was and looked at her with incredulously as she explained that she was his wife. He shook his head, saying that it was the first time he had seen her, he couldn't be married, it must be a mistake, this woman was a complete stranger to him. She looked at him shocked and confused. Then the doctor came to check him and Mei had to leave the room.

All the corresponding analyses were carried out and it was concluded that he would recover his memory over time. It was as if his memories of his last few years had been buried somewhere in his mind or had simply vanished. Lars didn't want to know any more details because he couldn't understand a single word, he thought it was such an implausible story out of some dull soap opera. Only the young woman listened carefully, nodding. His siblings visited him a little later, when he was finally able to receive visitors.

"We are glad to know you're better," Henri said, smiling.

"Emma? Henri?" he asked, as if he hardly recognized them.

Both siblings nodded, talked for a moment, comforting him in the face of the situation, and above all, encouraging him. Then, Lars saw the young woman talking to one of the doctors. It was her, whom he had just met when he woke up, and she proclaimed herself his wife.

"Who is this woman?"

"It's Mei, your wife. You had been married for over three years," Emma explained.

He later learned that she had not left his side since the day he was admitted to the hospital. So, he figured he had to trust them. Mei visited him every day and always tried to cheer him up, he didn't know what to talk about and sometimes they were just silent. His parents visited him as soon as they found out, they mentioned to him that Mei was informing them of his progress, since they lived on the other side of the country and he calmed down a bit. A few days later he was finally discharged.

On the way, Mei and his siblings were telling him about his life in general, but he wasn't paying attention. He looked around, at his siblings' new appearance and the ring on his left hand, asking himself a lot of questions. It was like had been asleep for a long time.

They came to the apartment. That was exactly the same place he had been living, but when he went inside, he realized it was different. There were some people waiting for him, all of them looking happy to see him and dedicated loving words of relief to him. However, they looked different from the way he had tried to look for them in the scraps of his memory, some of them were barely familiar and others were complete strangers. He also learned of several events, for example that his sister owned a bakery, was married and had a baby; his younger brother, was also a lawyer and had a relationship with Mei's sister.

The guests were there for a while longer, wishing him a speedy recovery, but Lars didn't feel like being there. They understood and left. He hated surprises, so this whole scenario was overwhelming. He wasn't ready to suddenly hear so much news all at once. Even though the events weren't serious, it was still a lot of information for one day. Mei felt a bit guilty about making him feel uncomfortable, so she suggested that he better get some rest. She would wake him up later for dinner. He agreed and she led him to the bedroom.

Lars looked around the bedroom, noticed the double bed, the decoration he knew couldn't be of his choice and on the night table: a book in Mandarin Chinese and a photograph of the wedding. He looked at the photo for a few seconds. They looked happy indeed, she looked at the camera with a smile, while he put his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. He put it back in its place and lay down in bed. He sighed and closed his eyes, thinking that it was a dream and he would soon wake up.

A couple of hours later she brought him dinner. He didn't want to eat; he still didn't have much of an appetite.

"Give it a try, you need to eat to get energy" she said with a certain motherly sweetness.

"I'm not hungry"

"Well, at least have some water. I'll let you rest, but if you need anything, I'm in the next room," she said, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek and a sweet smile.

That night Lars couldn't sleep, even though he was tired. He tried to make a mental summary of everything that had happened. It was more than obvious that he wouldn't regain his memory overnight. Perhaps, it would be best to be patient and try to remember little by little. Besides, he wasn't alone, he had his siblings and Mei, although he didn't yet know if he should trust her completely.

Meanwhile, Mei was grateful to have him alive. How scared she had been by the news of the accident, she spent days in complete anguish waiting for positive results. And then, he woke up and she thought the nightmare was over. Now the next challenge followed. She prayed that little by little he would remember and get his life back. She knew it would be difficult, but she would be there to help him to get through the accident and fill in the gaps in his mind that it had caused.

The next day, Lars woke up late. He sat up on the edge of the bed and yawed. At least he didn't forget that he hated mornings. He saw his reflection in the mirror, he was pale, haggard, he also had some scratches on his face, then he touched his head scar with his fingertips. Now he realized how serious the matter was and how lucky he was to have survived. He took a long shower, as if to prevent the day from continuing. Then he put on a simple shirt and jeans, something different from the expensive suits he wore, but for the moment it didn't matter since he would only be at home. Then he went to the kitchen and found Mei preparing breakfast, which was plenty, not like the cup of coffee he used to start his days with. Mei was happy to see him, and told him to sit down and eat. From that day on, they would start looking for his memories.

"Good morning, Bunny. Did you sleep well?"

"Bunny?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a loving nickname" she explained with a smile.

"I don't like it, that's why I have a name" he said, dryly.

"Oh… Ok, you're right" she replied a little embarrassed to hear such a harsh comment.

He saw her smile fade and apologized for his abruptness. It wasn't the nickname itself that bothered him, but the familiarity of this woman he barely knew was strange to him. Yes, she was his wife, but for the moment she was a stranger.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not brusque with you, am I?" he asked worriedly, thinking that maybe it was like that and it wasn't his morning mood.

She smiled again and shook her head. "Only when we argue… you know… I don't have the best character either…"

"If you say so," he said a bit uneasy. "Well, tell me what happened to me," he continued, to change the subject.

"Let's see, you are a great lawyer. You write for a little column in an independent journal…"

"Some of it I remember, what else?" he interrupted her, patiently.

"You've also tried to learn many different things, like Mandarin Chinese", she said a little sadly, "It's a shame. It took a bit of work, but you understood it more and more every day. You've also tried to do plumbing work."

"Really?" he exclaimed in surprise, since it had never occurred to him and also understanding why that book was on the bedside table.

Mei nodded again, then added: "We have had a lot of plans lately. We are thinking about looking for a house somewhere calm. A place where we can have a garden and an orchard, and where our kids can ride their bikes in peace."

"Kids?" he asked, about to spit out his coffee, and raising his eyebrow as if he had heard something horrible.

"Yeah… you know, when we got… we were working in it…" she added and her cheeks turned pink. "What else do you want to know?" she asked, changing the subject.

"What's your job?"

"I'm an art teacher and an illustrator, but we are not talking about me, we are talking about you," she said. "You'll get to know me."

He assumed she was right, however if his memory came back, he would know more about her.

Every day, Mei would wake up very early, leave him indications and go to work. Lars did the cleaning and when she arrived, they ate and spent every afternoon watching videos and pictures of their life together and telling him what had happened with several people close to him. Lars simply nodded, trying to get a sense of what was going on and being surprised by all the changes. It was like entering another dimension. Other times, they would go for a walk. They would visit places that had sentimental value, like the café they used to frequent when they were dating or the park where they had their first kiss. Lars could only imagine, but for him they no longer meant anything.

Mei always had a positive attitude and was very patient in the face of his perpetual indifference. Lars was surprised when she told him certain details of his life. She knew everything about him, what he liked and disliked even his clothing size. That made him feel important, in a way, and at the same time guilty because it seemed unfair, because he just getting to know her, and as that feeling was repeated, he asked himself more and more questions.

He watched Mei get excited when she told him about the project, she had in mind for a comic book and suddenly he wondered why he had agreed to marry her in the first place if she wasn't his ideal type. He always had another kind of woman in mind. He wanted a sophisticated, judicious and intellectual woman, which, he felt, Mei was far from being. Although it was true that her beauty didn't go unnoticed and that she had grace and artistic talent, he found it difficult to discuss serious matters with her, she seemed so immature. Perhaps, it was the emotional stability she offered him. Mei turned to see him and smiled tenderly as she showed him another project she had. He felt like a fool to be judging her without even really knowing her and seeing her as not deserving of being around him. That she wasn't his type didn't make her inferior to the woman he had in mind.

He was always resigned to getting married so he wouldn't be alone, having a fairly routine couple's life that would end in divorce, and many years later, his children would hate him for being an absentee father. But this life he had seemed completely different. Mei was an attentive and loving wife, an optimistic and persistent woman who conveyed encouragement. He wondered then, quite the opposite of what his pride had let him believe, why she would have married him.

So, as she told him some stories, he had the impression that, although they loved each other, they were quite incompatible, and that detail didn't convince him of that supposed domestic happiness. Although she described everything as a fairy tale, he was sure the story was another one, and even more so if he considered what he had thought of her. He couldn't even identify with the Lars in those stories. It was hard to believe. It was hard to digest a life together and have to bear the burden of not being able to reciprocate and the fear of asking for space, because Mei wanted to be by his side constantly.

He also began to worry about her, as each day that passed, he saw her more distressed, even paler and more haggard. But when she was with him, she always had a smile on her face, gave him everything he needed, and did the impossible to make him remember her again. So, he put up with it as long as he had the chance to get his life back just for her. However, as the days went by, he saw it as more and more difficult.

One day, after a little over a month without good results, Mei sat down by the side of the bed and took out the wedding photo album. As she turned the pages, she let out a few tears. The truth was that she was desperate to have her husband with her again, but he wasn't coming back. He didn't remember anything. Lars watched her from the door, it was terrible to see her like that, it broke his heart to see her suffer. She noticed his presence in the room and rushed to wipe away her tears.

"I didn't hear you. Dinner is…"

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. It really isn't. Now come on, I'll heat up dinner"

She gave him back a fake smile and left the room. That was the last straw. Mei deserved someone who would love her and protected her, not someone who would make her suffer and judge her. So, it was the best was to stop being a burden and not tie her to an uncertain future. Lars followed her into the kitchen and asked her to talk at once, because he couldn't bear to continue with the charade. He had to make her understand the situation so she could finally open her eyes. He tried to think in the right words and use a soft, but firm tone. Mei looked at him in confusion, waiting for what he was trying to say. Finally, Lars took a deep breath and without making much eye contact, he began talking.

"Mei, I don't think I can go on like this anymore. I don't want you to suffer for me anymore, maybe we should stop all this. I'm just causing you troubles…"

"Don't say that. You know you will never be a bother to me," she said, reaching out and hugging him.

He refused her hug.

"Of course, I am, look at you, you look more tired every day. When was the last time you slept well?"

"What are you talking about? I just want to help you. You are my husband and I want to be with you in these difficult times," she replied, somewhat offended.

Lars sighed in frustration as he heard this argument from a devoted wife, blinded by a love that was going nowhere.

"Tell me why you want to be tied to a man who can't remember you?" he replied, already exasperated, taking her by the wrists.

She looked away. It was true that nothing was the same anymore and that every day she lost more hope, that everything would return to normal. But it was so cruel to think of the possibility of losing him just like that.

"I admit I'm desperate too, but… I just want my husband back… understand me"

"Well, realize for once that I'm no longer the man you married. I'm sorry but that's the way it is. I don't think I will ever be the same again," he said. "I think we should… get a divorce," he said, releasing her.

"No, Lars, don't do this to me. Please reconsider," she replied, sobbing.

"Mei, think about it. It's been over a month and I'm still the same, we haven't made any progress. It's uncomfortable to me to see you suffer. It's better to separate, maybe we were going to get divorced someday… Don't you think we have very little in common? How do you build a relationship with someone who's not compatible with you?"

Mei looked at him shocked and began to cry, it was too painful to hear what she was once afraid to say to him at the beginning of their relationship. She never thought she would hear those words, but they were spoken for him.

"Don't you think that love has nothing to do with us getting married?" She asked him, in a serious tone.

"Sometimes marriage has nothing to do with love. Besides, I don't know if you are telling the truth when you talk about us. I don't think we've gotten along as well as you insist on making me believe"

"I never lied to you! Don't you want to know about me anymore?" Mei replied.

"Anyway, I can't do this anymore. I don't love you and I felt overwhelmed when I'm with you," he confessed and looked at her as if it would have been better to shut up.

Mei was speechless, the latter falling like a bucket of cold water, but maybe it was true. It was her fault for harassing him to force him to come back, insisting on so much information and why not, painting a life that was a distorted version of reality. She was being so selfish instead of truly help him. So, maybe she was the burden.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that…" he said, when he saw her reaction.

"No, you're right. Now I realize that instead of helping you I'm just suffocating you," she said, looking at him for the first time.

Lars thought that expression of pain would be hard to forget. Despite the fact that he didn't love her, he felt that his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces, but if they didn't do something, the situation would probably get worse and she might hate him for wasting her time.

"We are both hurting each other. I'm taking up your time and energy. So, I'm asking you to give me time to put my mind in order, to find myself on my own pace. This might even be useful to both us," he murmured.

Mei nodded. Her love for him and herself prevented her for imploring him any longer, and especially after those words. If he wanted to be free, then she would let him go. It was better than tying him up against his will. They were silent for a while. Then she wiped away her tears and tried to pull herself together.

"Well, this apartment is yours. It's better that I go. Then, you won't have any trouble getting used to what you already know," she suggested, stepping aside.

"But where will you go?"

"With my sister. She had a room available. I'll call her tonight"

Lars observed that in her countenance there was no longer the sweetness or affection with which she looked at him, but instead the total resignation of someone who had just given up.

It didn't take Mei long to pack up all her belongings, she did it as fast as she could, without stopping to think. The next day, she had everything ready and very early Ling arrived to help her put everything in the car, without allowing Lars help her. She wanted to leave before he woke up, but she didn't make it, he watched her in silence, not being able to come near her. Finally, Mei took her purse, walked to the door and without looking back, said: "I'll come later for the rest of my stuff". Lars saw her getting into the vehicle and disappearing into the distance. Not knowing that she hadn't been able to look at him, so he wouldn't notice that she was crying.