Discovery

The whole spectacle had passed before his eyes for endless seconds. Lars understood too late what Ludwig tried in vain to explain him. He felt used. Of course, everything had been planned. Somehow Stacy contacted Mei, telling her he had moved on. Since she didn't believe her. Stacy summoned her to see for herself. Mei trusted Lars completely, even if they were separated, she knew he wouldn't be able to make such decisions without talking to her first, since they weren't even divorced.

But he never called her to discuss that. She assumed he wanted his space to think through his situation and then the two of them could feel better and discuss what was to come. Then that woman showed up again. Mei didn't hold a grudge, but she felt very sorry for her. So, she decided to go with Ling and Lien, for moral support and to prove that she was lying, but she didn't. They were there, in that special place, she was caressing his face, as if about to kiss him, then Lars looked at her as if she had caught him cheating. Mei felt that at that moment she had been stabbed a thousand times. She felt nauseous and terribly tearful, Ling and Lien took her away from there as quickly as they could, looking at him with all the contempt they were capable of.

Lars left the café to catch up with them at Stacy's demands, but they had taken a taxi. Why had he let himself be convinced like that? He left there without looking back. When he got home, he tried to call Mei, but she didn't answer. He had been trying for hours and hours, not getting an answer. She wasn't replying to his messaged anywhere either. He went to see her, though he barely knew her address.

"Please, leave my sister, leave her alone!" Ling had replied when she found him outside the building. She asked security not to let him in or they'd call the police, so he decided to go home.

Instead, he was getting dozens of messages from Stacy. She demanded to know where he was and to give her an answer immediately as if she were the victim, the cheated wife. And so it went on for hours until Lars decided to end it. He was furious, but he was also furious with himself for being too credulous, for believing all those stories. He called her to tell her not to contact him again, not to go near him. There was no justification for what she had done, and there was no way he wanted to have anything to do with her. He couldn't stand the lies.

"We will never be together. I told you that time and I repeat it now. I can't be with someone like you!"

She didn't take it well. Soon after, she located him and knocking at his door in desperation and yelling at him. Lars had to call the police and get and get a restraining order. He still didn't understand why things had taken such a turn. How could he explain to Mei that it was a misunderstanding when he himself had believed all those fallacies and allowed himself to be misled, having a bad image of her? Was he really about to be unfaithful? He wondered, because technically they were still married and hadn't agreed to date anyone else. No, he wasn't. He had thought Stacy was the ideal, but only because she had comforted him from his loneliness, only because she appeared to be what she wasn't, and to tell the truth, he didn't plan to go that far with her. It was true that she inspired him nothing but sympathy, and she seemed determined to show him her hatred for Mei.

For many days, he felt discouraged. He told Ludwig everything and from him he knew that Stacy had been arrested and would go for mental health care, as she assaulted a policeman and gave details of how she wanted to end Lars and Mei's life. That was not entirely consoling. He could still see Mei with that expression, but he couldn't contact her, he tried for days and she never answered, maybe she had changed her number and blocked him. He wanted to explain to her that it was a misunderstanding.

Ludwig crossed his arms and shook his head.

"You should have listened to me," he replied.

"How was I supposed to know she'd do that?"

"I told you what she did when you were engaged," he said, tired of repeating it over and over again.

Lars looked down, disappointed in himself. Then, Ludwig patted him on the back, trying to comfort him. Maybe he wasn't being sympathetic to him, but he didn't want him to ruin his life. He should always be honest with him.

"At least you didn't get to do something you might have regretted. I'm sure you'll be able to contact Mei soon. Don't worry about it"

"I even called to her work, they tell me they can't give me information," he said, anguished. "And I don't know if it would be a good idea to call her parents"

"Don't do it. Give her time, you two still have many things to discuss," answered Ludwig.

And with this, Lars sank back into his loneliness. He sometimes met with Ludwig after work for a drink or just to talk, but he didn't want to ruin Ludwig's good mood with his pessimism. And unlike him, Ludwig did have someone waiting for him at home, so he didn't steal his time, but talking to him always made him feel better. Ludwig was more sentimental and, in a way, he looked after him as if he were an older brother.

On other occasions, Emma and Henri visited him. They didn't know about it, but he didn't want to worry them, they hardly knew about his separation from Mei, so he didn't need to give them anything else to think about. Of course, he didn't tell his parents, he had never had a close relationship with them, although they called him from time to time, and more since the accident. He still didn't think it was a good idea to inform them. He wondered if his in-laws would know, unlike him, Mei had excellent communication with her parents. If they knew, they were sure to be disappointed.

Almost every day, Emma would prepare him a meal or send him something with Henri, because she was always busy with her baby, so his younger brother visited him more often. After a while, however, Lars felt the need to talk about this with someone else. Although Ludwig knew, he thought he would have had enough of the same subject and he also needed another point of view. Then one evening, at last, he dared to tell Henri everything. Maybe he had an idea, it was likely Ling had told him, and so he wanted to give him his version of the events.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can contact her; her accounts appear in private and she has blocked me, I can't even communicate with her at work or through other people" Lars looked down. "Maybe I should leaver alone for once or else I'll end up like Stacy or worse," he said, annoyed.

"Well, what did you want her to think? To tell you the truth, I already knew. Ling was as mad as you can get," Henri admitted.

"I don't blame her, but did you get to see Mei? Did you talk to her?"

Henri shook his head.

"She seems to be avoiding me, but I could look into some way you could approach her, she seems to have a new number"

"I really need to talk to Mei; tell her this was a trap. She must hate me. I hate myself, too. You know, even I underestimated her thinking she wasn't in my league. Do you think I hadn't had the accident there would have been a divorce? I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to leave me."

"I don't think so. You guys got along pretty well, and as I remember you never had any luck with your type," he said with an ironic tone.

"But I have nothing in common with her."

"That's what you told me when you met her, that she wasn't your type, nor did you have anything in common, but you couldn't get her out of your mind."

He looked down; how wrong he had been to judge Mei through someone else. Now he reaffirmed how much better off she would be without him. If he could only see her one more time and talk to her, at least deserved an explanation and an apology, and maybe the documents of the divorce, so that he would never bother her again. Seeing him like that, Henri changed the subject a bit to distract him from that affliction and asked him about his memories.

"I haven't had the courage to continue. It's as if those years didn't exist and I'm afraid I'll find something I don't want to see."

"Like what?"

"I almost did something stupid; I wouldn't be surprised to find something much worse."

"It's not that, that woman took advantage of you by seeing you vulnerable. You also realized the trick. You are too decent to do something like that. You should trust yourself more. I assure you; you will find nothing wrong" Henri said, confidently.

"I feel terrible. I just want all this to be over soon. I'd like to live like before, before the accident…"

"Don't push yourself, take your time. I'll try to talk to Mei to find out how she is and maybe convince her to contact you. If you need help, you know I'm here for you," Henri said before saying goodbye.

Lars assumed he was right. So, he decided to go back to his quest. He checked the entire apartment. He inspected every single one of his belongings. He examined the image gallery on his phone and computer, this time more carefully. He noticed several pictures of Mei, some taken without her being aware of them. So, he really loved her, he thought gloomily. There were so many sweet moments saved on those devices that it seemed now like watching someone else's happiness. He wasn't able to delete the photographs or videos where they appeared together, at least out of respect for her and his old self. He assumed that his domestic life hadn't been all bad then.

He found a folder with several files that were named as Draft 1, 2 and 3. Apparently, he was starting to write his own stories and was glad to see that they weren't so bad. He always had a dream of writing a novel, but he had never had the confidence to do so, so this was a pleasant surprise. His poems needed a little more of editing, but they had potential. He wondered if Mei knew about it, because he had never heard her tell it or maybe he hadn't paid attention.

As he continued searching, he found several downloaded manuals about plumbing and notes from a series of videos. He was supposed to be learning, and in fact, he found a toolbox in a wardrobe. He also saw a notebook with Mandarin notes and various exercise books. Maybe that book on the nightstand was his, he hadn't checked it since he didn't even understand it, but he took it and when he translated it, he found out that it was poetry and it had a dedication: To my bunny with all my love. I hope you enjoy it and happy anniversary. From your loving wife, Mei. For some reason he sighed nostalgically as if he remembered. Now that he was thinking about it, that nickname was pretty cute.

He discovered many different books in his collection, including some on gardening. He knew he liked flowers, but the closest to a garden he was taking care were the flower pots on the balcony. So, they were planning to buy a house with a space for that. That would have been very nice.

In the kitchen he found a notebook of recipes, and when he checked the handwriting, he realized that he had written all himself. Some of them were marked and were proof that he even tried to cook from time to time. It seemed that Lars had become much more of a homebody, as he was used to buying food or eating out to avoid going near the kitchen. He could do all the housework except cooking, that was a complete torture for him, with oil jumping all over the place, having to taste everything, knowing the exact measurements, was tedious. At that moment, he would have liked to be able to try, as his stomach started to growl. He had spent the entire day checking the apartment up and down that he had forgotten to eat. So, he made himself a sandwich to calm his hungry and also because it was the most practical and safe thing to do.

While he was eating, he kept checking the computer and almost choked when he found a couple of articles about parenthood added to the bookmarks, with this he realized that the other Lars did want to start a family. He smiled, but then his phobias about being a bad father came to mind and he thought it was better that way. He felt bad for him, though, as he remembered Mei had said something about trying. He blushed a bit at the thought, he could not get over the idea of being so warm and fuzzy with her. The image wasn't entirely bad, though.

By going through the entire apartment, he was able to meet the very different person he had become. Maybe he didn't know his secrets very well, but from the little he was learning, he realized that this Lars seemed like a guy who was committed to what he was doing, who tried different things without fear of failure, without fear of other people's opinion. A quiet, homely guy, in love with his wife and above all, living a peaceful life. And everything was taken from him by a very bad chance.

Once Lars was able to reconcile himself with a part of his life, he could finally recognize that he wasn't a bad guy and could forgive himself. Now it was a little easier to understand himself. He knew that his memories wouldn't come back and the ideal was to move forward with his life, but at least he had a better basis on which to start. So, he decided to call Henri and tell him the good news. He invited his brother to dinner, to show him what he had discovered.

"It tastes awful, but if it's any consolation, you used to cook better before," he said, tasting a bite and making an exaggerated gesture. "How about I invite you to dinner to celebrate and I'll pay," offered Henri happily.

"It's ok, just because you're paying" answered Lars, pretending resignation.

And both brothers went out, as they talked about how badly each one cooked.

Back home, he called his parents to inform them that everything was fine and he had decided to move on with his life. His mother cried a little on the phone, and they talked for a long time. For the first time they seemed to understand each other, even he talked for a moment with his father. She asked him about Mei, but he avoided the question, saying that she was with her sister because he was repairing the house. His mother seemed to understand that hesitation, but didn't comment, she asked him to say hello and continued talking about something else. Lars felt bad about lying, but he didn't want them to know about the situation.

From here, he started writing. He continued with his little column in the journal, plumbing and returning to his old hobbies, feeling a little more alive again.