I cannot apologize enough for the wait. I got ahead of myself and needed to finish up some WIPs, but I'm here now with an update. I haven't given up yet, not that anyone cares, but here we are! On with the story! Please send feedback, and I hope you enjoy!
For the troll that thinks the age-gap between Regina and Snow is at least a decade and a half, I've asked many people for their opinion on this, even googled this, and they all said (google too) that Regina was a late teen (website says 18, I originally deduced 16), and Snow was at least 12. The age gap is 6 years between them, so I don't think that I made that much smaller an age gap between the two and I've nearly lost my patience trying to prove this to you, so now that I proved myself right, please never negatively comment on my fanfics again. Thanks!
It was hard not to worry for Regina. She told me not to, that she was working on kicking this illness of hers. She was even telling me she wasn't sick at all, but after three days of watching her around the castle, I noticed her cheeks seemed more hollow and her skin brighter somehow. Even sick, she's still absolutely stunning.
Father hasn't noticed she's sick yet, but Regina had advised me not to tell father, so I did good on my promise. He was going away for a week on business and offered to take me along, but I decided to stay with Regina. Even if she wasn't sick, she was looking more gloomy as the hours ticked by and I didn't want to leave her here by herself.
She has everything she could ever want, and yet she's unhappy. She has a kind-hearted husband, a large castle for her to roam around, she has freedom to ride her horse around the castle land whenever she pleases, a very talented chef that could whip up nearly any food she desires, chamber maids to tend to her every need, and a garden almost all to herself. I wouldn't be unhappy if I had all those things. And I did, for the most part. I still didn't have a horse of my own yet, but I borrow father's so I can learn how to ride before getting my own. As for the husband, I don't have one either, but father said he might consider finding a suitor in as little as three years.
I didn't want to be wed off so soon. I didn't think I was nearly mature enough, but when I think about it, Regina's been in our palace for almost a year and she's turning 18 soon. It still scared me, I could be betrothed to King George for all I knew, and he scares me. Regina got lucky, but I may not be.
Today, the castle was nearly silent. Not very many servants worked when father was off on a trip. My father had no use for them when he's gone so he dismisses most of them when he leaves. He never dismisses Johanna, but I hope sometime he does. I love her dearly, but I get tired of people following me like I'm a fragile, newborn kitten.
It was during these days I liked to discover new parts of the castle, or visit old parts of it and find a hidden secret. There seemed to be many in the palace, and I haven't discovered them all yet. My favourite was the library. I read a book where a girl was exploring a library and she pulled on one book to take it out. Instead, it opened a passage behind the bookshelf, leading to a secret garden with fairies. I've pulled on two whole shelves of books to try and find a passage like that, but it never lead to anywhere but a few interesting books I read after pulling on them.
I didn't know where Regina was at the moment, but I suspected she was riding. She rode more frequently when father was out. I never had permission to ride without father there, so I always watched her glide around the field, looking strong and free. I couldn't imagine being able to ride like her, she must have so much fun being able to go so fast, and even have a deep connection of love with her horse.
I've asked her if I could ride with her, but she always says I'd slow her down. Instead, she urged me to go play somewhere else. I never liked when she dismissed me like that, but riding was her time not to be disturbed by me, as Johanna said.
This time when she was riding, it was different. It must've been from her illness because she seemed to be going a bit slower than usual and her muscles were drawn taught and stiff like a bow. It piqued my interest more than the book I was reading. She directed Rocinante back to the stable across the courtyard, while I was left staring at her back.
I leapt off the armchair I was seated at and ran to the kitchens. I requested peppermint tea and a treat for the both of us and waited in her chambers. The maids dropped off our foods as Regina came in, heaving in air. I gave her a minute to catch a breath and the maid looked concerned.
"What is the meaning of this?" She asked.
"I thought we could have tea and muffins." Regina glared at me but loosened her shoulders and sat on the pillows and blankets in front of her fireplace.
"Fine." She took her teacup and sipped it amicably.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine. Now drink your tea then leave."
"You don't look okay."
"It's a good thing I never asked for your opinion."
"I'm sorry, I'm just concerned for you, seeing as you still look sick."
"I'm not sick." She took a bite out of her cookie and laid farther back on the pillows. She didn't seem to have noticed her hand drifting to cup her abdomen.
"I think you still are."
"I'm not sick."
"You are. You look pale."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not sick." I should've taken the hint that I should drop the subject by the way she was baring her teeth and growling in a look she's never given me before.
"You are and I can tell."
"I'm not sick, you imbecile!" My face scrunched up in almost physical pain.
"I am not an imbecile. I will be telling daddy about this."
"No you won't."
"I will, in fact, I'm going to inform Johanna right now."
"No you won't, Snow, please. It'll be another secret of ours."
"Not this time."
"You can't tell them I said that."
"And why not?"
"Please don't. I beg you." Tears brimmed her eyes. "Please. You can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't get in trouble by the king." Her eyes glassed over with unshed tears, pulling right at my sympathy for her. Or maybe it was pulling on my adoration for her.
"But insubordination should be punished."
"No. I don't want that."
"But that's how it works. You do something bad and you get punished. Why don't you want him finding out so bad?" Regina thought about it for some time, but her face stiffened back into their neutral expression, except for the glassy eyes.
"Leave. Please. It's private business, what we're talking about, but I don't want you to tell. Please." Like her 'thank yous', I had never heard her say please so many times in a row. I knew it must be serious if she's begging, so I nodded.
"I won't tell, but you owe me a favour in return." Regina nodded.
"Fine. It's only fair, I suppose. Goodbye, Snow."
"Bye." I never liked being dismissed by Regina, because when I do, I never see her for days. She was in good hands with her chambermaids, but even after her assuring me she's fine, she doesn't look like it. Even when she was riding, she always looks so lively on the back of Rocinante, but today, she looked mechanical.
As I was skipping through the halls, I stopped a servant with a basket of laundry. I requested she find Evelyn and ask her to meet in the sitting room. She nodded, bowed her head, and went on her way. I waited in the sitting room on the sofa, kicking my feet up and laying down on it.
"Your Highness, that's not a very lady-like way to sit." I smiled bashfully and sat upright, brushing down wrinkles in my dress. "Now what can I do for you?"
"It's about Regina. She's been off lately."
"I'm aware."
"She still isn't well."
"I'm also aware of that. I'm afraid Her Majesty is in denial of being ill, even if she hasn't stopped vomiting."
"She hasn't?"
"No. It only happens in small periods of the day, but it hasn't stopped."
"What makes her think she can ride while she's still sick and throwing up?"
"I'm not sure. I've offered to tell the doctor, but she keeps saying it's a food-induced illness that will pass soon enough."
"She's been sick for three days. I think we might have to get her checked on."
"But Your Highness—"
"I'm thinking of her wellbeing when I say that. If she cannot see she is sick and in need of bed rest, than let a professional tell her so. Please, fetch him for Regina." She nodded.
"Of course. Hopefully a visit from him will do her good." I smiled at the thought of her being happy and well again and nodded.
"Thank you." She left the room, and I followed soon after. I considered going outside to wait until the doctor was done to see Regina again, but I just stayed in my bedchambers. I couldn't find anything to do, but paint. I couldn't find anything to paint, so I flipped through some old picture books I haven't opened since I was little and found a picture of a rabbit. I was just starting to sketch out the shape of the rabbit when Regina burst through my door.
"You told me you wouldn't call the doctor. I'm healing just fine and he confirms I am not sick."
"You aren't sick? But you've been throwing up for three days! It's impossible to not be sick after vomiting so much."
"It's very much possible. I told you I didn't think I was sick, now will you please drop this?"
"What did the doctor say then?" Regina seemed to drift off before shaking herself back into reality.
"That I'm healthy as a horse." I felt like that wasn't the end of the story, and like always, I ignored all instincts to stop pushing Regina and instead pushed harder.
"That's not all he said, and you know it."
"Don't be so rude. Drop your little interrogation this instant.."
"You never said 'no' to my earlier question."
"Snow, do not be a brat."
"I'm not a brat. I'm worried for you."
"I don't need you worrying for me. I have enough worry for myself. And I shall be telling your father about your behaviour as soon as he gets back."
"Why? I didn't do anything wrong?"
"You insulted my ability to realize when I am sick, you insisted that you were correct on your assumptions and summoned a doctor for me without my consent, and you interrogated me and assumed I was wrong about something the doctor said directly to me."
"He won't believe you."
"And what makes you say that?"
"Because. He loves me more than you." Regina stiffened and clenched her jaw.
"He'll believe me when I said his daughter was insolent and rude. Maybe if he listens, he'll stop spoiling you rotten." Regina stormed out of my room, nearly leaving a trail of smoke that showed just how furious she was. I turned back to my canvas and suddenly didn't feel like painting.
I could admit that thinking about it, my behaviour was a little rude, but that was nothing compared to Regina's verbal lashing. I was neither a brat, nor insolent. She was, for bursting through my door and telling me that I shouldn't call a doctor for someone if they're visibly sick. She seemed to have taken it very heavily, when it was only a doctor's visit. I still had my suspicions about her visit with the doctor, and after consulting with him, she didn't look any better.
My curiosities got the best of me as I ran down the halls. The doctor was just wheeling a wooden cart of medicines through the halls.
"Doctor! Wait one moment!"
"Your Highness. What can I do for you?"
"Can you tell me what's wrong with Regina?"
"I'm afraid that's confidential."
"She gave me permission to ask you."
"Are you sure? She didn't even want her chambermaids in with her."
"Very sure." He looked around the empty hall, bent down, and gestured with his finger for me to come closer.
"The Queen is with child." Just like that, my resolve was gone. Regina, with a child? It's preposterous.
"There must be some mistake."
"I heard the baby's heartbeat myself."
"That must've been Regina's heart."
"Unless Regina's heart is located in her lower abdomen, it's true." So Regina wasn't lying when she said she wasn't sick. She must've known she was pregnant. I didn't know what to think of it. I was in love with my father's wife, who is now pregnant with, technically, my half-sibling. If I didn't have a chance with Regina before, I doubt she'll ever think of being with me now.
I don't want a sibling. I asked my mother for a sibling when I was seven, but that fantasy is long retired. I'm almost fifteen, and my father's wife is pregnant. I'm really hoping daddy isn't the father of the child, no matter how far-fetched that is, because I don't want a sibling. I don't need a sibling.
I left the doctor in the hall, but he was the least of my worries. I decided I would let Regina tell daddy. Even if she didn't tell him right away, he would figure it out as she and the baby grew.
I needed a moment to myself to sort out what I was feeling, because I couldn't do it in here. I walked hastily through the corridors to the side entrance, leading out to the garden and stables. I bypassed the garden and strode straight to the stables. For my lessons, the stable girl was instructed by Regina to teach me everything about horses, including how to strap on the saddle and attach the reins.
I found my saddle on the side of the stall, right next to Rocinante. I smiled at Rocinante.
"You're riding with me today," I told him, grinning all the while. He gave a soft snort in response and nudged my hand with his muzzle. I ran my hand up and down, occasionally brushing his nose. "Let's go for a ride." I slid my foot into the stirrup and jumped up. It took a few tries, but I eventually got into the saddle and got my other foot over his back. I pulled on the reins, backing him out of the stall and towards the trail in the trees.
I followed the trail I knew so well until we reached the fork in the path. Instead of going left like daddy and the stable girl tells me, I go right. Going left will eventually just lead me back to the castle, and that's where I'm trying to escape.
Winding through the messier trails, the end of the dirt road led me to a canyon. A river flowed steadily at the bottom, but the river was a long way down. I didn't feel comfortable sitting on the cliff, in case the rocks gave out from under me, so I sat a few feet back and watched as nature continued around me, like I wasn't there disturbing it's peace.
I always felt connected with nature, in a way. In my textbooks, it says that humans are connected to nature, because before evolving, we were just like animals. I liked thinking about it, that we were once just like them before our intelligence got the better of us. It was much more tranquil thinking about that than thinking about Regina and her baby.
I didn't think that baby would be my brother or sister. It's too weird thinking about them like that, even if it's my father's child. I was too old to be an older sibling, and having a sibling with Regina as their mother was too much to think about. I could be their cousin, or their fun aunt, but not a sister. I didn't want to be a sister, so I won't. That baby can be related to me, but it was too strange thinking of it as my sibling.
I wished Regina wasn't pregnant. If things were perfect, she wouldn't be married to daddy, we would be good friends, and maybe we would be more. I wished we would be more. That fetus was preventing it and at the moment, I hated every party involved. I hated every thing involved.
Maybe Regina's been miserable because of the baby. Maybe she doesn't want a baby either. One thing is for sure, I've been more miserable as of late with the baby.
Even if daddy didn't marry her and she wasn't pregnant, she doesn't like me like that anyways. I felt stupid wanting to be close to her, to want to kiss her, and to want my father out of the picture so I could have a sliver of a chance with her. Maybe I was just stupid for being like this. It would be so much easier to find a prince than a pregnant queen. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try with her. Maybe it did. Only one way to find out.
Poor, naive little Snow...