Revelations

It had been very painful for Ling to see Mei leave her home like that. When she told her that she needed a place to stay because she was leaving Lars, she didn't want to believe it, because they looked very happy and in love, but with the accident the situation had taken a very sudden turn. She didn't blame him, after all who causes an accident of that magnitude. So, Ling didn't hesitate and offered her a room, but what had troubled her was her request:

"Please, don't tell anyone, least of all mom. I'll explain later"

When Mei finished settling in, she finally agreed to tell her, but while she doing so, she blamed herself for her insistence. Even saying that he had probably already considered divorce before the accident. Ling tried to make her see that it wasn't true and that the misunderstanding would soon be fixed, but Mei wouldn't believe it. As much as Ling wanted to encourage her, she knew that none of her words would fix her sister's situation. They only thing left was to wait, to wait for time to heal everything. Although she knew it would be difficult for Mei.

On the other hand, Mei made her best effort not to call Lars, not to contact anyone who knew him to find out how he was. Even when Henri heard about the situation, she didn't ask about him. It was a pity that Lars wasn't a fan of social media, but if he was, Mei would feel like a stalker by constantly checking his profiles. Anyway, she would check her phone for notifications, as if she expected him to look for her, but that never happened. So, to ease her anxiety she would leave for work early and then come home as soon as she could to avoid being asked about him. She still didn't want anyone to know that she had left the house, which wasn't a scandal, but she didn't want to talk about it with other people.

Then, little by little she started looking for something else to do. She started drawing in her notebook, updated her web comic for the first time in months, deleted the comments of that annoying hater and made all kinds of commissions. Ling had never seen her so busy, but she knew she was doing it to distract her mind and not think about him anymore. As if she didn't know that this was her method of escaping from reality. That was Mei, even though she was an expressive person who said what she thought, when it was about something that really hurt her, she preferred to run away and pretend there was no such problem.

But it didn't work. Sometimes she caught herself drawing him, writing his name in her notebooks or looking at his pictures too. Then, she would stop what she was doing and tell herself that she would be better off without him, that she shouldn't miss him because he probably didn't think about her. Those words still echoed in her head: I don't love you and I feel overwhelmed when I'm with you. So, she cried a little. At other times she tried to magnify his flaws, inventing faults for him; she listed what she didn't like about him, his bad habits, misrepresented conflicts, and then convinced herself that she could stop loving him very soon. Although deep down she knew it was a lie.

Ling was concerned about Mei, not only her mental health but also her physical health, especially when she heard her complaining of nausea in the morning. Nothing she ate was doing her any good, maybe it was nerves or anxiety, Ling wanted to think, praying that it would be something as simple as that.

One morning while Mei was cleaning the apartment, she suddenly started feeling dizzy. She thought perhaps it was fatigue, as she had had very little sleep over the past few days, but when this was compounded by nausea that would not leave her alone, a single conclusion crossed her mind. She tried to remember the last time she got her period. She had been so busy with Lars's recovery and then with her work that she hadn't even thought much about herself. In counting, she was about two months behind.

She thought it was a coincidence, but she remembered that shortly little before the accident, she and Lars had made love quite often because they were planning to have a baby. The night before the crash had been one of those occasions, and it was more than two months later. She began to worry, but maybe she shouldn't jump to conclusions. She told Ling what was going on and her sister suggested a pregnancy test.

The two sisters waited patiently for the result. It was positive. Mei cried a little for joy and a little for fear. In other circumstances, this would have been wonderful news, because she longed to become a mother, but now she didn't know how to react. They made an appointment with the gynecologist, just to make sure, and in case she was pregnant, to know if everything was fine. In fact, Mei was already nine weeks pregnant, so everything happened before the accident just as she thought it would. That added up to something else to think about, but at least in a positive way, because she wanted to keep going for the baby that was coming.

That afternoon, Mei locked herself in her room. Lying in bed, she caressed her belly and looked at the ceiling, thinking about everything that was happening and how her life had changed so much in a few months. She remembered with pain, when she and Lars talked about having a baby. He looked hesitant at first but little by little he started to cheer up, especially after he had seen her holding his newborn nephew. It was the plans they talked about every night before they went to sleep. Neither of them expected to find themselves in a similar circumstance to the one they were living in. But it must have been worse for him, she thought. Had she known that night would be the last time Mei would hold Lars in her arms, she would never have let him go.

A while later, Ling knocked on the door, brought her a cup of tea and a slice of cake she had just baked. Mei thanked with a smile. They talked about different subjects, but Ling wanted to know what would happen from now on and especially what she would say to Lars.

"The truth is, I don't know what I should do. Maybe I should hide it from him, go away and never come back. Start somewhere else by myself with the baby."

"I think you should tell him."

"Why? He hasn't even communicated with me. He doesn't care about me."

"I know he cares about you, you both needed space is all, and he still has a right to know."

"But I'm afraid, Ling. What if Lars becomes reluctant to accept paternity or accuses me of having a false pregnancy to get him come back. What if he ends up by hating me completely now," she cried. "He is no longer the man who loved me."

Mei decided to think hard about what she would say so he would be aware. For now, she announced to her parents that she was pregnant. Her father wasn't at home, and her mother took the news very well, but since she didn't hear it so enthusiastically, she asked her to talk to her in private.

"Mei, baby, you don't sound happy. Did something bad happen?"

"No, it's not that serious."

"Does it have to do with Lars' accident?" she insisted with concern.

"It's just… I don't know, I'm so confused," Mei sobbed.

Mei took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened. Her mother had been the only one to support her relationship with Lars, not that the rest of the family hated him, but he was very likely to be misunderstood because of his intimidating aura and arrogant airs. Mei's mother, to the other hand, knew that he loved her daughter and only cared about seeing her happy. After listening to her story, she kept silent for a few moments to try to understand the situation.

"I think the two of you should talk to each other to come to an agreement. I know this is all difficult, but you are two adults and should act like that. Be honest with him. He is probably still confused. You know him better than anyone else," her mother said, understanding.

"I know, it's just that it scares me."

"I understand, but even if you've decided to separate, there's still the legal part, you must sign papers and above all he must be aware that he has a child on the way."

Tender and comforting words followed. Mei smiled slightly at a joke from her mother about becoming a grandmother for the first time. Then she decided she was right and it was better to talk to Lars.

Then she got a call from a Stacy to say that Lars had moved on without her. Of course, Mei didn't believe her, because that woman had already been rejected and was behaving very strangely. Lars wasn't the type to do just anything, besides if he wanted to move on, he would have called her to talk it over and come to an agreement. But she agreed to go, because she wanted to see for herself.

"I don't know, Mei, I have a bad feeling. Don't go," Ling asked.

"It's ok, I know her. She probably just wants to scare me."

"At least don't go alone"

So, she and Lien went with her and none of the three gave any credence to what they would see. They took Mei in a hurry, even though they knew he was following them. Ling wouldn't forgive him. Never. If she had to be honest, she estimated him because he made her sister happy and was a respectable person, but with what had just happened she no longer knew who he was. She was no longer sure if she could trust him anymore. Either way, something didn't feel right and it was as if he had been deceived too. Then he kept insisting on calling Mei, even going to look for her.

"Please, leave my sister, leave her alone" she replied, tired.

Meanwhile, Mei had locked herself in her room, staring out the window in silence as tears ran down her cheeks. At first, she had been shocked, and though Ling and Lien began to rant against him, Mei didn't say a word, simply shutting herself away. Ling opened the door to check on her, and found her staring out the window her gaze empty. She went over and hugged her, trying to comfort her. Then she understood that her sister was going to need all the support in the world.

Finally, after trying to contact her, by whatever means, Henri got Mei's number and Lars was able to locate her. For Mei it had been very surprising, when she heard his voice, she was paralyzed. She wanted to hang up, but she had also decided to tell him about the pregnancy.

"Mei? Mei, is you? Please answer. Don't hang up" he asked.

"How did you find my number?" Mei replied in a barely audible voice.

"Never mind that, I need to see you and talk to you so I can apologize in person."

She was silent for a few seconds and accepted because she also had something urgent, she wanted to discuss. She asked him to meet her at some restaurant, because she knew that Ling would kick him out if he showed up there. They arranged to meet that very afternoon, because if they left it for another day, neither of them could be at peace.

A couple of hours later, Mei greeted him nervously, and for the tremor of her voice and her distressed expression, Lars knew that it was a delicate matter. They talked about what had happened that day. Lars was so honest about Stacy that Mei had no doubt that it had indeed been planned, but that still didn't give her any confidence. It still hurt her to remember that moment, what she imagined happened between them and all the bad things he believed about her.

"I have been very selfish all this time. It was you who was always by my side, the only one who wanted to help me in those moments and the one who suffered the most. I, on the other hand, was ungrateful."

"It wasn't entirely your fault. I pushed you to remember me, I thought we could live like before, that I could get my husband back, but I didn't consider how you really felt," she admitted.

"Of course, it was, I was very stubborn not to trust you and it's understandable that you would want everything to go back to normal."

Mei started to feel irritated and disgusted again, this time by the intense smell of coffee, which had been making her dizzier lately.

"Mei, are you alright? You look agitated. Have you been sick? Do you need a ride home?"

"No, don't worry. It's just… now I need to tell you something very important," she said, biting her lip and struggling to look him in the eye.

"What is it about?" he asked, in a soft voice.

"Well, I…"

"Is that something I can help you with?" he asked again, worried about the tension in the air.

"It's just… I'm pregnant…" she said without further ado.

Lars kept quiet, trying to process the news. He didn't know what to say to her, she looked nervous, but at the same time excited. It wasn't that he didn't believe her, the parenthood articles he found were proof, but it was still unexpected news. He never thought he would hear those words right now. Judging by her face she had probably thought a lot about how to communicate it to him, maybe fearing his reaction, maybe that he would reject her again. Yet as much as he was afraid, the news didn't seem a bad thing. Many bad things had already happened, and at least this was different.

She explained again that before the accident they had been trying to have a baby. They had even taken some tests to see if everything was in order and finally tried. She showed them with the documents from when she had gone to the gynecologist with Ling. The pregnancy was going great, all she needed was some vitamins, and rest and better nutrition, nothing out of the ordinary.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't want it to be under these circumstances. But I won't ask anything in return. And yes, it's really yours, if you want a paternity test, I am more than willing to allow it…" she said.

"No need" he asked, trying to reassure her.

"Anyway, I just wanted you to know, in case you ever want to meet the child," she said hesitantly.

"What are you talking about? Of course, I'm going to take responsibility," he replied, holding her hand.

"No, you don't have to. This was between me and the old Lars …" she said, breaking away from him. "I just wanted you to know."

"But I can't leave you like this. You are still my wife and that baby is mine too. I know I have no right to claim anything after how much I've made you suffer, but I don't want to abandon you in that state."

"Really, It's not necessary. I don't want anything from you, we'll manage" she said in trembling voice, taking her hands off him.

"It is. You didn't do that to yourself, it takes two to tango."

Even though Lars was scared to death and didn't know what would happen from now on, he had to do the right thing and take responsibility. How could he be able to leave her alone and pregnant, while he was too comfortable and carefree in a huge apartment. Yes, Mei had her sister who had surely been her biggest support in the last weeks, but it wasn't fair to her either. Ling probably had a lot of things to do and a life to take care of. Besides, maybe it would be a chance to get better acquainted with Mei. He needed to reconcile with her.

Mei knew he was serious. Deep down, she felt safe, but on the other hand, she was afraid that he would end up hating her for tying him again and that resentment would come out. That's why she didn't want to accept, even if she wanted to be at peace with him again. In the end she agreed, thinking that her sister needed a break from the drama and on the condition that they would give each other their space. As if they were roommates, but with a baby on the way. So, he asked her for a couple of days so that she could pack calmly and he could fix some of the damage.

When she returned to Ling's apartment, Mei announced that she would come back with Lars. Her sister said nothing, because she wanted to respect her decision. Maybe they both needed to live together and talk to each other to resolve their differences, thought the younger sister, although she was still worried about her.

Mei packed up all her belongings again, this time feeling guilty, especially when she thought maybe it was her chance to win him back, but with the discomfort of pregnancy and her body gradually changing, that seemed impossible. At least she was content to start getting along. After two days, Lars returned for her. He put everything in the car and waited for Mei to take her back. Ling told her to be patient and if anything happened, no matter what, she would always keep the doors of her apartment open for her. Mei thanked her. Both sisters hugged each other and Ling wished with all her being that the situation changed for better.

On the way, Mei thought that returning like this wasn't the way she imagined it would happen. It was uncomfortable the idea of living together again as if nothing had happened. It was only out of commitment, because he didn't want to be look like a bad man who abandoned a woman pregnant with his child and probably felt guilty about what happened a few weeks ago. It was logical, after all she knew he was very responsible and had a great sense of duty. When they finally arrived, Mei took the suitcase with her clothes, he wanted to help her carry it, but she refused.

"You don't have to help me with everything. My belly is not that big yet, I can move around without problems" she asked, because her pregnancy was hardly noticeable.

Lars let her take her belongings, feeling a little naïve, but he was unaware of all that pregnancy implied. Besides, he was afraid, not only of what was awaiting them, but of her getting hurt. During the couple of days, they didn't see each other, he had tried to inform himself, the descriptions were so graphic that he preferred to leave it for later.

Mei was going to settle in the same room where she had slept while he was recovering, but Lars told her to take the other one where the double bed was. When she went in there, she noticed that he had arranged it carefully, had bought new sheets and curtains, there was a fan, a TV with streaming service, a table with a chair, all conveniently to hand. When she realized what was going on, she understood what the alleged damage was.

"Lars, you didn't have to bother with all this. It's not like I'm going to stay forever"

"It was no bother."

"Then, you would have put the fridge here," she said, ironically.

"I'll see what I can do, I could buy a mini fridge and…"

"Just kidding" she interrupted him.

"I just want you to be comfortable. You helped me a lot when I got back from the hospital, so I want to do the same for you. I know it's not the same, but I want us to be fine."

"Oh…" said Mei, a little disappointed because it was to return the favor and because he felt guilty. "I'll pay my part of all the expenses, of course," she remarked.

He ended up accepting. He wanted to start again. He wanted to be there for her after what had happened, and of course, for the child they were expecting. He still felt like an idiot for thinking badly of her, so he deserved whatever she thought of him.