Alien Admiral Fucks First Officer

Chapter Four: Encounter

To Faro's momentary surprise, she and Thrawn were set to leave the Chimaera not in an official Imperial transport, but in a nondescript cargo ship Thrawn kept in the hangar for undercover missions. With them came only a minimal stormtrooper guard in which no one wore their official armor. They still had blasters tucked away in their disguises, though. It gave them the look of hired goons.

Thrawn took note of Faro's observations and explained, "I wish to travel as discreetly as possible for this mission. As our business on Corulag is not directly related to the current objectives of the Seventh Fleet, I deemed it inappropriate to arrive on Corulag in an official capacity."

Well. She supposed he couldn't outright say the matter was a personal one. Not without revealing details of the incident to eavesdroppers. "I understand, sir. Will we also don civilian attire for this mission?"

"That won't be necessary, Commodore." Thrawn waited for her at the top of the ship's loading ramp. As the hatch closed around them, Thrawn escorted her to a part of the ship in which they could discuss matters privately.

As was appropriate, Faro waited for Thrawn to speak before offering any of her own insight into the situation. He was not inclined to speak right away, preferring instead to listen for the sound of the ship entering hyperspace. Once it had, he continued where he left off. "I do not anticipate any danger on this mission. The guard is a precautionary measure. I would not include them if I did not think there was the slightest chance an explicit holovideo could serve as bait for a rather outlandish trap."

Bait for a trap? In the realm of improbable conspiracies, only Thrawn could outdo Woldar. For every time his creative suspicions proved correct, there existed a hundred musings Thrawn only dismissed after a careful consideration of the evidence.

Faro gave voice to none of these thoughts. "How do you propose we approach this, sir? Where exactly on Corulag are we travelling to?"

"We will park the ship on the outskirts of Lagu, Corulag's largest city. According to ISB's report, we will be able to land close to our imposters' place of work: a professional pornography studio." Thrawn walked to the other side of the room. He entered a short password into a keypad and opened what appeared to be a closet. In it were several robes and a few costume accessories. The accessory Thrawn elected to remove from the closet was a pair of green tinted sunglasses. "We will wear low effort disguises over our uniforms to obscure our identities at first. We have no reason to draw attention to ourselves before confronting our imposters. I do not want to change entirely, however, because I want the first thing we confront our imposters with to be our true selves. They need to know exactly how serious we are taking their crimes lest our message not leave a sufficient impression."

Wait. Thrawn owned green tinted costume shades for when he wanted to look less conspicuous in public? What cheap costume store had he pulled those out of? "I… see, sir. What is our message, exactly?"

"That our likeness is not to sullied by association to cheap pornography from a tasteless website that caters to the lowest common denominator of sensual experience. While it is possible to create art out of sexual passion, the work of this studio is nowhere close to achieving that goal. Furthermore, their portrayal of our relationship is a debased attack on our careers and reputations. Those imposters formed the worst possible interpretation of what a relationship between the two of us would look like and, by presenting themselves as the two of us, sought to convince others of their view. I did not champion your promotion to commodore with the expectation of sexual repayment. You have no need for bribery in pursuit of your career. To claim otherwise is lewd, criminal, and ignorant to the highest degree."

In most situations, hearing that sharp edge of anger seep into Thrawn's voice would be cause for alarm. But in this instance, Faro found his rage vindicating. It felt good to know her feelings were shared on the matter, that she wasn't overreacting to this threat. Never mind how inconsequential it may seem to others. Faro was too proud of her career to have it degraded by imposters for the sexual fulfillment of strangers. If all anyone saw of Faro was that holovideo's portrayal of her, they would be sorely misled about her skills as a soldier.

Her relationship with Thrawn, though newer, was also undeserving of such crude regard. Before either of them had formed a romantic attachment, there had first been a mutual, professional respect for one another. To this day, Faro prided herself on being one of the few offers who could openly suggest changes to Thrawn's orders. She knew from experience he was the greatest military leader the Empire would ever have. To have his respect meant the galaxy to her.

So in response to Thrawn's declaration, all she said was: "I couldn't agree more, sir. Those two will pay for what they've done. They and any other individuals who might have planned this attack."

"We will soon find out if any third entity was involved. I doubt our imposters will be expecting us to appear in person. When we catch them off guard, it is my desire to use our advantage to extract the names of everyone involved in the sordid affair. Only once we have everyone in our sights will we initiate punishment."

Faro couldn't help but smile. She was looking forward to enacting vengeance on the woman who spread vicious lies about her. She was sure Thrawn felt the same about his Pantoran counterpart. "I look forward to our arrival on Corulag, sir. If I may make one suggestion to your plan before we land there?"

"What is it, Commodore?"

Faro approached Thrawn, delicately snatching the green glasses out of his hands. "Do not wear these. You'll attract almost as much attention as if you wore your uniform proudly."

"Are you certain of that, Commodore?" Thrawn pulled a thick tan cloak out from his costume closet. He held the cloak up to his chest and pointed at the green lenses. "I once wore this exact ensemble to a private meeting on Coruscant. No one but my contact recognized me then."

Faro's lips twitched imagining the sight. The cloak with its hood up likely conveyed an image reminiscent of the Jedi, but adding the glasses swerved the look into unintentionally comedic territory. "Perhaps no one on Coruscant recognized you, sir, but that does not mean you didn't attract undue attention. A disguise is not only meant to conceal your features, sir. It is also meant to help you blend in with your surroundings."

Thrawn processed her assessment. "You worry the tint of those glasses is too dissimilar to the fashions of Corulag?"

"The tint and style both, sir. If I may," Faro stepped past Thrawn without waiting for a response. She searched the closet for a backup pair of shades. After a minute, she grabbed a second set from the top shelf. Thankfully, these shades were black in color. More typical of Core World styles. "If you insist on covering your eyes for this mission, sir, I recommend you wear these instead."

Thrawn took the black shades from her. He ran his hands over their rims, a faraway cast to his face. "Commander Vanto wore these once on an undercover mission of ours. He bought them with his own credits. I… did not realize this pair was still aboard the ship."

"Well. His understanding of disguise wins out over yours then, sir." Faro meant those words playfully, but all she got for them was a distant nod. When Thrawn didn't elaborate right away, she reached for another cloak in the closet. This one was smaller than the one Thrawn held. It was a darker brown and meant to cover the body of an individual shorter than her. "Was this cloak also last used by Commander Vanto, sir?"

"Yes, Commodore. It was bought with his proportions in mind." Thrawn eyed her long legs. "As you may remember, Commander Vanto was smaller in stature than you. I do hope that will not pose a problem with your disguise. If it does, you may wear another one of my cloaks." He gestured to a backup tan cloak identical to the one in his hand. "Be careful not to trip on the hem if you elect for it."

Faro weighed her options. She tossed the brown cloak over her shoulders then glanced down. The cloak stopped roughly eight centimeters from the ground, showing her shoes and the cuff of her pant legs. If Thrawn and Faro intended to remove their disguise early into the encounter regardless, it shouldn't be held to a high standard of scrutiny. Faro would rather not risk the potential of an embarrassing stumble, so she opted for the shorter cloak. "Thank you, sir. I would rather wear Commander Vanto's old cloak. It's not as if he needs it anymore."

At those last words, Thrawn's expression darkened. "No. I suppose not."

A moment of silence passed. Faro asked Thrawn a few more questions about their strategy. He replied with greater reticence than before, as if his mind were only half present. He glanced at the cloak around Faro's shoulders several more times but made no move to discuss Vanto again. By this point in time, Faro knew better than to press the subject. She wished she could comfort him but was unsure of how to do so appropriately right now. According to their rules, the sentiment would have to wait.

After landing on Corulag, Thrawn and Faro confirmed the location ISB gave them with their real life view of Lagu. They had parked their ship deep in Lagu's former industrial sector and were currently surrounded by repurposed/empty warehouses. Years ago, Corulag had moved manufacturing to a planet with cheaper labor and steered their workforce towards the service industry. The move had left a lot of buildings (and workers) behind.

One of the few buildings with any lights on in the area was, according to ISB, the address from which the holovideo had been uploaded. Further research from ISB agents showed that the warehouse had been bought a few years ago by a porn actor turned producer. Receipts and invoices paid to renovators, set designers, camera operators, and the next generation of adult film stars made it obvious what Rico Swarve had purchased the building for. Despite much suspicion on Thrawn's part, ISB insisted they'd found no ties between Swarve and organized crime. Pornography was a legal, regulated industry on Corulag. Its laws varied only slightly from those governing the production of holodramas.

Of the six guards that Thrawn had asked to accompany them, he left two on the ship and four scattered in the area near the building. If an altercation broke out or more dangerous criminals showed up, backup would be close by. Faro understood the necessity of such caution, but she doubted the issue would escalate to such a degree.

Cloaked and hooded, Thrawn and Faro entered the converted warehouse. At the front was the semblance of a waiting area. A single human sat behind the front desk, not paying the slightest attention to who walked through the front door. It was only when the pair stopped directly in front of her that she deigned to glance up at them.

"First time, huh? If you're so ashamed to walk in here, how you gonna show your face for the holonet? Which one are you here to shoot tonight, anyway?"

"You misunderstand our purpose. We are not here to perform as actors. We need to speak with two actors from this studio. Are you capable of summoning them for us?"

She raised an eyebrow. Her eyes flitted back and forth between Thrawn and Faro, trying to see which one of them was more approachable. After some deliberation, the receptionist settled on Faro. "And why do you need to see them? Who are you?"

Faro settled on a vague explanation. They had no dispute with this woman, nor did they want to get held up dealing with her. "The actors we seek are individuals who have wronged us. We're here to set some matters straight."

That triggered suspicion. "What is this? Some kind of hit? Who are you people?"

Thrawn didn't answer with words. He simply made sure the receptionist was looking at him before lowering his shades. She took one look into his eyes and gasped.

"Holy stars! What did you do to your eyes? Please tell me those are contacts." Thrawn shook his head. "No? What kind of a genetic condition does that to a Pantoran?"

"None that I am aware of. I will ask you one time: where can I find actors Rayau Kikso and Fallon Jennings?"

"They did that to your eyes?!" she exclaimed. When Thrawn did not immediately respond, she nodded and reached for the intercom. "I'll ask for them now. You two can wait in the meeting room right over there." She pointed.

"Is it a real meeting room or another set?" Faro asked. "Has it at least been cleaned since its last use?"

"Oh it's real. This is still a film studio, ma'am. You know, a place of business? Unless you want to wander onto their sets and speak to them there?"

"The meeting room is fine. Can you also ensure the pair are fully dressed when they come to see us?"

The receptionist shook her head. "I make no promises of that. Both the actors you want are scheduled for filming right now. Now shoo before I change my mind!" She pointed once again to the meeting room. This time, Thrawn and Faro chose to oblige her.

They spent the next few minutes waiting in a cramped and (by all appearances) legitimate meeting room. Through the door, Faro could hear the receptionist's voice blasting over the intercom, followed soon after by a chorus of protesting voices. In the argument that ensued, Faro could only hear one sentence clearly. The receptionist asked the question over and over: what did you do to "that man's" eyes?

"Why did you reveal yourself to her if you don't want her to know who we are yet, sir?"

"You claimed Mr. Kikso and Miss Jennings had wronged us. The receptionist clearly wanted to know how they had done so. I could not truthfully explain the situation without revealing our identities in full, so I allowed her to make her own assumptions."

"You're lucky she doesn't know much about you, sir."

"This may surprise you, Commodore, but relatively few people do. Without the clue of my uniform to inform them, I appear as a genetically deformed Pantoran to most. It is no coincidence this studio sought a Pantoran to imitate me."

Right as Thrawn said that, a shirtless Pantoran burst through the door. Had there been no blanket tied around his hips, he would have been completely naked. "What's going on in here? Why'd you interrupt my scene?"

"Mr. Kikso. If you would be so kind as to sit down. We need to talk."

He froze in his tracks. "How do you know my real name? I use a stage name on the Holonet."

"That's not the only alias you use, either. Now sit."

After much hesitation, Rayau moved up far enough that Faro could get behind him. She waited for Fallon (who had the better sense to don a bathrobe) to join them in the room before shutting the door. She stood in the way of anyone seeking to enter or exit for the whole exchange.

"What is this? Who are you people? I hope you're ready to pay for wasting my time. Part of my compensation is hourly," Fallon complained before sitting next to Rayau.

Faro nodded to Thrawn. "Now, sir?"

"Now."

They removed their cloaks as one. Thrawn set his sunglasses aside and leaned in close to Rayau. "Before you ask, Mr. Kikso, these are not contacts… unlike the pair you possess. I can also assure you that these uniforms came from an Imperial dispensary, not whatever fraudulent costuming agency your studio utilized."

Rayau didn't put the pieces together right away, but once he did, he gasped. "Admiral Thrawn…"

"Well, that was the most disappointing strip show I've seen in awhile," Fallon quipped. Unlike her scene partner, she was not the slightest bit fazed. Her eyes combed over Thrawn. "Are you honestly stopping there?"

"Unlike you, neither of us need to strip naked for money," Faro leaned on the meeting room door, eyes fixated on Fallon's well-kept mane of curls. She must have worn a wig for the holovideo.

"Wait… oh my stars. Admiral Thrawn saw our holovideo?" Rayau's face broke out into a beam. "I can't believe it. The holovid dropped two days ago and we're already famous! I've been checking its view count hourly. We're going viral, Fallon!"

"While I may wish I could erase your crude performance from my memory, you had the ill sense to approximate my and the commodore's likeness for your stunt. Tell me, Mr. Kikso," Thrawn leaned in closer. "What motivated you to attempt such a tasteless act? Who put you up to this?"

Rayau leaned back, chuckling nervously. "Has anyone ever told you you look older in person? And come on! It's not like I made you look bad. We were totally sexy in that. Right, Fallon?"

"I know I was."

"You were vapid, Ms. Jennings. Vapid, and utterly unconvincing in your role as a high ranking military officer. As for you, Mr. Kikso, you fail to grasp the extent of the anatomical differences between our two species. Furthermore, your extensive use of Basic curse words indicate you have no insight into my speech patterns. The pair of you's portrayal of the commodore and me was neither faithful nor flattering."

"Worse than being tasteless, it's against Imperial law. Impersonation of the Empire's military personnel is a crime," Faro added, hoping to steer the conversation into more productive territory.

"Crime? Since when?" Fallon turned around, taking Faro in for the first time. Without Fallon's wig or costume, the two of them hardly looked similar. "Are you supposed to be the first officer or something? Is that why you're here?"

"I am the grand admiral's first officer, captain of the ISD Chimaera , and a commodore in the Imperial Navy. I suppose nothing, Ms. Jennings."

Fallon snorted, turning back around. " That's the woman you said I looked like, Rayau? Are you trying to insult me?"

"I was going off a still image, okay? She looked better in that. More… alive."

Faro swallowed the thorny ball of rage crawling its way out of her stomach. "You both are familiar with Grand Admiral Thrawn, but do either of you know who I am?"

Rayau paused. His shoulders dropped. "No, not really. I just saw a still of you standing next to the admiral in a holonews broadcast. I had pitched my idea about performing as Admiral Thrawn earlier that day and needed someone for him to bang."

Faro leaned back onto the doorframe, stunned. She had no words.

"So the holovideo was your idea, Mr. Kikso?" Thrawn inquired. "What gave you that inspiration?"

"The Holonet comment sections under articles about you. You have fangirls, man! There is no shortage of blue dudes in the porn industry. If I want to make it big, I need something that helps me stand out. Like a gimmick, or a persona, or a-"

"Or the identity of another person," Thrawn finished. His eyes narrowed. "I fail to see how impersonating me could be a viable path to pornographic stardom. I doubt enough women are fans of my military exploits to develop an interest in me. You are catering to a niche market."

Fallon had the audacity to laugh. "Let's just say it's not your big brain they're into. Those horny women are more interested in you giving brain, if you catch my drift."

Rayau sighed. "Aw, we should have done that!"

Thrawn did not catch Fallon's drift, but he wasn't about to admit it. "There cannot possibly be enough of these women to account for your holovideo's popularity."

"Why not? All the top Imperials have a fanbase. Stars, Darth Vader has his own series . Choking fetishists love him!" Rayau argued. "I did that gig once. I pretended I was a lowly politician from Pantora he wanted to 'punish'. All I had to do was fake being air-choked until I 'passed out'. Easiest scene I've done in my entire career."

No way Darth Vader knew about this. If he did, he would recreate every video this crass studio had done using his likeness… minus stopping once his victims had passed out. Faro wondered how many of these so-called fetishists would like Darth Vader if they had to do their job beside him for days on end. Days in which they spent every waking minute in fear of a premature end to their life. The thought that someone could turn the terror of the Empire's top enforcer into fap material was sickening.

If his expression was any indication, Thrawn agreed. "Even so, I fail to see what obscure fetish the commodore and I supposedly having relations could include. The holovideo you made together depicts rather standard intercourse."

"You tick several boxes, actually. Interspecial sex, for one. That one's too popular to stand out on its own, though, so add military fetishists and voyeurists to the mix. That second one is based on how the holovideo was shot. It's meant to look like security footage taken from your ship. Pretty cool, huh?" Rayau was entirely too proud of his work for the circumstances. "We were going to tick the homosexual box as well, but Rico made me change it."

"You originally had a male partner in mind?" Faro asked. She was still processing the fact that these two had assaulted her career, possibly doing irreparable damage, by coincidence. "Who?"

"Admiral Thrawn's former aide. I think his name was Eli? Eli... something. I had an actor picked out and everything. Rico made me change my idea for two reasons. One, most of the comments I found thirsting on you," Rayau gestured to Thrawn, "were from women. Rico thought a female partner would make it easier for those viewers to imagine themselves in her place. Fuel the fantasy and all that. Second of all, the holonet is still convinced you murdered that guy in secret. Making a porno of him getting fucked by his murderer might be seen as insulting to his memory. Rico was worried the holonet would turn on us for it."

Really? That was where this studio drew the line? Dead people? Faro shook her head. She couldn't waste time on how crazy this all was. She had to focus on keeping her voice low. "You confess that you were the mastermind behind this abomination, Mr. Kikso? Ms. Jennings acted on your directions?"

"You didn't tell me this was illegal!" Fallon turned on Rayau. "How could you be such an idiot?"

"I didn't know it was either. I thought we were fine so long as we didn't use any names. That's how the Darth Vader series does it. His videos call him 'The Dark Lord'. Everyone knows porn isn't real. No one actually thinks you two are banging between shifts, right?"

"I know I wouldn't." Fallon gave Faro another sideways glance. "I bet no one ever took you into the ship's sex closet."

"People do think your video is real, Mr. Kikso. I admit, your efforts to approximate my likeness were half-hearted at best. Ms. Jennings' attempt at Commodore Faro was even more dismal. Despite those shortcomings, the fact remains that many Imperial officers thought the holovideo was genuine. When your work was first uploaded to the holonet, it launched an ISB investigation into whether my ship had a potential security breach. A crewmember of my ship who stumbled upon your work had similar beliefs as well. Your work is not gaining popularity due to public interest in either one of you. It is increasing in views because the galaxy considers it evidence of a scandal in the military. You have given rivals of ours the tool they need to spread lies on our name, thereby damaging our ability to serve in the Imperial military. And for the suffering you've inflicted on us, I will make you suffer in turn." Thrawn's eyes smoldered with fury.

Faro took over from there. "Imperial law does not require proof of intent to deem you culpable of slander and defamation, Mr. Kikso. By recent decree, defamation of high officeholders in the Empire can be considered an act of treason in select circumstances. Both you and Ms. Jennings are guilty of impersonation by your own admission. Your testimony incriminates the head of your studio as an accomplice to your crimes. Together, the grand admiral and I make for reliable witnesses to your confession. For us to ensure your punishment at this juncture is more than warranted."

Rayau and Fallon glanced at each other, eyes wide. For the first time that meeting, the two of them seemed to realize why Faro was blocking the door. "What are you going to do to us?"

"What you deserve." Thrawn whipped out a commlink from under his sleeve and held it to his lips. "We have what we need. Return to the ship and await further instruction."

"Yessir," came the response.

Rayau raised his hands in surrender. "We didn't mean to cause you trouble. I honestly thought this would have no effect on your life. And I know I look tough with all these awesome muscles, but I gotta tell you... I never learned the first thing about fighting." Sweat dripped down his face, taking clumps of blue foundation down with it. Around one of his eyes were flecks of a gold tattoo.

Fallon wailed. "Please don't scar me. I can't work if I'm ugly."

Faro caught Thrawn's eye. This was going to be more satisfying than she thought.

"Court is now in session for the case against Rayau Kikso and Fallon Jennings. The charges read as follows: impersonation of an Imperial military officer, defamation of character, and slander of high ranking Imperial officials." The magistrate looked the pair in the eye, ignoring the crowded gallery recording her every move. "How do you plead?"

Fallon tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Huh. This is a change."

A/N's: This chapter took longer than I thought because I wanted to nail the ending. I'm still not convinced I did it justice and may change it yet. Still, I hope you enjoy.

In other news, I got to bring one of my favorite Thrawn looks back! The only reason that man is not a fashion catastrophe is because he never has to dress himself in civilian clothing. We also to meet Thrawn and Faro's porn counterparts in this chapter, each indirectly named after time wasters I've been using during quarantine.

Thanks for reading and all your support, and I look forward to pumping the next chapter out soon!