I don't own Star Wars. I'm only writing what I think should happen after TROS

Chapter 5

Rey's POV

Rey's eyes fluttered open and were met with her friends sleeping soundly beside her bed. Finn was sitting in a chair beside her. He was bent over, face down on the bed and holding her hand. The corners of her mouth turned up at the adorable sight until she realized what had woken her up. Poe was on the other side of her bed leaned back in his chair and snoring loudly.

Poe eyes slowly started to open and then met Rey's gaze. He shot up out of his chair and was ecstatic.

"Rey, you're awake!"

"Thanks to your snoring." Rey quipped.

"What? I don't snore!"

Finn woke up from the excitement in the room. Hearing what Poe had said, Finn responded "Yes, you do buddy."

Finn looked over at Rey and relief washed over his face. Rey grinned and accepted Finn and Poe's embrace. After the embrace was broken, Rey asked the question that was buzzing in her head since she had woken up. "How long was I out?"

Poe clearly was having a hard time remembering or doing the math in his head so she turned to Finn who had the answer ready. "You were unconscious for a week."

A week? Rey felt her throat tighten. Shock and embarrassment ran cold through her veins. Did she really just leave her friends to deal with her? She could feel the amount of worry Finn dealt with. The image of Poe trying his best to comfort Finn by her unconscious body crossed her mind.

Rey tried to sit up fully but felt a sharp pain go through her whole body. Finn leaned forward and helped her lay back down.

"Woah there, you need to take it easy. The doctors said that you had a lot of untreated injuries. And that your blood sugar was way too low." A look of concern crept its way to Finn's face. "Rey... what happened back on Exegol?"

Rey felt the weight of guilt lay its self on her chest. She couldn't possibly tell them about being essentially traumatized by the death of Ben. They wouldn't be able to understand the connection she and Ben shared. Finn might be able to accept it but Poe was unpredictable. She ultimately decided to lie. Well, not completely lie. Just to leave out the parts about Ben.

Rey proceeded to unravel the story of her experience on Exegol. The two men listened closely and gave encouraging nods. The words spilled out of her mouth and when she got to explaining how she was a Palpatine she couldn't help but feel the hate that Poe emanated. It wasn't towards her but it was towards a part of her.

After she was finished with her story the men looked at her with child-like wonder in their eyes. It reminded her of the feeling she got when she heard the stories about Luke Skywalker back on Jakku. The innocence and obliviousness to it all. The innocence of wanting to be like him. The oblivious to the people who died in those stories but were never mentioned.

A confused look made its way on Finn's face. "Wait a sec. I felt your presence leave. I felt you die, Rey. How did you come back?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Rey stood there in the middle of the completely destroyed throne room. She... won. She won this battle. The Resistance won. They all won.

Rey looked up to the sky and barley felt the lightsabers leave her hands. Her eyes went blurry. Everything hurt and was numb at the same time. Her head was spinning and her chest ached. Her knees buckled under her and she fell to the floor.

She didn't know what death felt like but she was sure that what she was feeling was it. She was so cold and there was a dull but sharp ache all through her body. Her ears were ringing and tunnel vision set in. Oddly enough, she wasn't scared. She just felt peace surrounding her when her vision finally faded to black.

Warmth.

Life.

Ben.

His hand rested on her stomach as he sat there. Concentration and calm found itself on his face. Rey looked at his hand before placing her own on top of his. His eyes met hers. It felt right. She felt... complete.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The memory only lasted a few seconds but it was enough time for the tears to make their way down her face.

He saved her. He knew he would die trying, but he still did it. For her.

Finn stood there trying to understand the reason for her reaction. His hand moved to comfort her but she lashed out.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screeched. Her hands started shaking violently. Rey started to scoot herself away from Finn but then felt a hand touch her arm. It was Poe. Her hand shot out and scratched him.

All she could think of was Ben. It's my fault. It's all my fault. He's in this huge mess because of me. He can't come back because of me. She could only hear static. Finn and Poe were speaking to her but she only saw their mouths moving.

The static. The static hurt her ears and head. Rey put her hands over her ears trying to block out the deafening noise. She curled up into a small ball on her side. She shut her eyes so tight that she saw stars.

She started to scream. Well, she couldn't hear herself through the static but she felt her throat growing raw. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's all my fault.

Rey felt one of her friends leave the room for a moment but was replaced by someone else which she assumed was a doctor. Seconds that felt like years went by and she felt a sharp stab in her arm. The pull away from reality quickly followed and a suffocating calm enveloped her.

It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my...

Author's Notes:

O my god I'm soooo soooorrryy. I had horrible writers block and tried my very best to write but I was never able to get into a good rhythm. I finally was able to get on roll and kept with it and now we have this. My apologies for leaving you guys hanging for over a month. Will update soon.