A/N: Hope you all had a good weekend! Enjoy :)

"Emma?"

Regina calls with a frown as she stands at the threshold of the deserted kitchen, the sitting room beyond clearly just as dark and devoid of life.

"Here."

The blonde replies, and the Mayor's brow furrows deeper as she turns around and makes her way over to the drawing room.

"What are you doing in here?"

She asks as she lets herself in, before taking in the burning logs in the hearth and the bottle of rum close to empty on the table. Emma appears to catalogue these gross displays of overindulgence in tandem as she slowly- sensibly- lowers her feet from the sofa and assumes a slightly less slobbish position.

"I got cold."

The Sheriff replies, leaving out the fact that sitting in the unfamiliar sitting room had kind of given her the creeps. After all, she's telling the truth.

"I can see that..."

The brunette growls; recognising the sweater the younger woman wears as her own with a sense of utter disbelief that serves to numb what might usually be anger.

I'm just shocked that she would have the audacity to help herself like that!

"Oh... Yeah."

Emma offers lamely as she looks down at herself, and Regina rolls her eyes as she supposes she really shouldn't be shocked at the blonde's lack of boundaries and appropriate behaviour. As if on cue, a breathy moaning sound comes from the younger woman's phone, and Emma meets the Mayor's gaze for just a second before promptly blackening the screen.

"What are you watching?"

Regina asks tersely, and the blonde pulls a face as she pockets her phone.

"Honestly, I'm not even sure at this point. One girl's showering- badly! Like who soaps themselves like that?!- in the middle of a massacre in the ski-lodge that these two kids randomly live in, while another's sneaking her boyfriend around who showed up around murder number two. No one's seen the kids for a while, and there's some sort of blizzard keeping everyone stranded, although it doesn't actually appear to be snowing."

"... I'm sorry?"

"A movie that's not going to win any awards."

Emma elaborates, looking up at the Mayor who stands in the doorway with her arms crossed watching her expectantly.

"So?... How was your date?"

The blonde asks when it seems Regina doesn't have any more questions pertaining to Babysitter Massacre 5.

"It's late."

The brunette replies pointedly, and Emma takes the hint and begins to push herself up off the sofa, before reconsidering her question from earlier as to how exactly the Mayor sees her. Leaning back against the pillows, she studies her host pensively.

"It's not, though. Not really. I thought you would be gone a lot longer."

"The restaurant closes at eleven."

"It's ten-thirty."

"Miss Swan-"

"-And the Rabbit stays open until three on a Saturday. I know it's not really your scene, but if a date's going well, then..."

"It's not really any of your business, is it?"

Regina snaps, and Emma offers her an agreeable nod as she accepts this response, but doesn't back down.

"You guys just didn't connect? Or-"

"-Sheriff, what did I just say?"

The brunette hisses irritably, but she makes her way further into the room and takes a seat on the sofa opposite the blonde so that she can slip off her shoes with a wince.

"I heard you well enough, and it isn't my business, but I figured any date lasting under two hours probably didn't go so well, and that's too bad... Maybe you wanted to talk about it?"

"What, to you?!"

Regina laughs snidely, and the Sheriff simply holds her gaze with a calm expression before pushing herself up and heading over to the liquor cabinet.

"Why not? What do you want?"

"Miss Swan, I-"

"-If you don't answer, I'm going to have to choose for you, and-"

"-Emma!"

The darker woman snaps, and the blonde turns back to face her with a sigh.

"Look... If you want me to go, I will. I was only trying to be nice. Weird, I know, but there you go. I know we don't really talk about real-life stuff and what we get up to day to day- sure, you like to make presumptive comments, but you've never actually asked me what I might have done over the weekend- but I'm offering... And, I mean, my last date consisted of wearing a soiled dress and punching a guy before being gatecrashed by my long-lost son, so... I'm not especially judgy."

"That wasn't a date, that was just work. Henry told me."

Regina argues dismissively.

"Ok, sure, but if you want to talk about my last date-date, that's going to take me a while to think back and remember!"

Emma shrugs.

"... Really?"

"Yeah! So maybe discussing yours might be easier as it doesn't predate the invention of the iPhone."

"I don't know..."

Regina frowns, not exactly enthused about the prospect of discussing her love life with the Saviour and one-time rival for another's affection.

Oh, stop. Emma's right, and you know it. What happened with Graham had very little to do with those two getting grossly cosy, and she's made it quite clear since that her main motivation in that mess was winding you up. Her interest was more in you than the late Sheriff...

Oh. Gods.

Well, that's certainly a terrifying thought when worded that way! I mean, can you imagine?! I-

"-Okay, fine, I'll leave you to it. I just thought maybe you'd want to vent."

The blonde interrupts her inner- highly disturbing!- monologue with a sigh; reading her hesitation as dismissal.

"Gin."

Regina speaks up quietly as Emma pads for the door.

"Huh?"

"Gin. Over ice. And there are limes in the fruit bowl on the windowsill in the kitchen. Tonic's in the fridge."

"Okay then."

Emma smiles, disappearing for a moment before returning with a large bowl filled with ice and topped with a sliced lime, the tonic, and a clean glass. Setting everything down on the coffee table, she selects one of the two gin bottles from the cupboard and brings it with her as she falls back down onto the sofa.

"Ugh..."

Regina sniffs as she watches the blonde knock back her remaining rum in order to make room, and Emma shrugs as she goes about filling both of their glasses with ice from the bowl before pouring in a few fingers of gin, a splash of tonic and adding a slice of lime to each.

"Must you use your hands?!"

The Mayor sighs, but she leans forward and accepts her glass and takes an experimental sip.

"Oh, that's strong!"

"Sorry, I don't usually add tonic at all."

"That's disgusting."

"And so... Not really very surprising to you?"

Emma proposes sweetly, and she receives an irritable glower as the brunette nurses her drink; certain that Regina would have said something along these lines if she hadn't beaten her to the punch.

"Mm. Are you going to take my sweater off at any point, dear?"

"Are you going to take off your coat?"

The younger woman counters, and the Mayor places her glass down on the table with a scowl.

"I fail to see what that has to do with my question."

"Not a whole lot, but... Okay. Should I have dressed more appropriately when leaving the house given the weather? Yes, that's on me. It's warmer in here, and if you insist, I'll give you your sweater back. You sitting around in your coat, though, just kind of makes it look like you're gearing up to dash out at any second, which, I get, especially given your company, but I would remind you that this is your house, so it's a little weird."

"... Keep it."

Regina sighs eventually, gesturing to the blonde's borrowed sweater, and she stands up to undo the belt of her coat.

"No. It's not my style, and it's definitely not cheap, so I would feel odd doing that- and a little offended that it should be necessary!- but I'll take it home and wash it as evidently this whole deal is majorly gross and traumatic for you."

"Evidently."

The brunette agrees, in no way about to divulge to the Sheriff that she actually thinks the black cashmere suits her nicely. Removing her coat, she folds it neatly and lays it over the armrest of the sofa, before looking back up with a frown as she catches Emma studying her with a strange expression.

"What?"

She demands, and the blonde shakes her head slowly, before seeming to snap out of it and offering her a sly grin.

"No, nothing, it's just I think we can safely say that your date ending badly has very little to do with what he might have made of your outfit."

"It didn't end badly, and of course it wouldn't have anything to do with that."

Regina thins her lips as she reclaims her seat with care to keep her dress from riding up her thighs; the heavier blend of the fabric working in her favour where the cut offers up a little more flesh than she would usually have on display. Still, she finds herself privately pleased by Emma's flattery; never doubting her appeal as such, but she knows that compliments aren't common from the prickly young woman, and the blonde is one of the few people she trusts implicitly to speak the truth.

Really?!

Yes, in the current context, she supposes so. She has never given Emma any reason to feel obliged to shower her with praise, and so when the younger woman does offer her an opinion, especially a positive one, she doesn't find herself doubting it or looking for any hidden agenda, which makes a pleasant change from her interaction with most others.

"He said he liked my dress."

She allows in a queerly prim voice as though speaking of something forbidden, and Emma nods as she takes a sip of her gin and opines boldly

"I'm sure he did. Just as I'm sure you know that when men tell you they like your dress that's not where they're actually looking."

"Miss Swan, don't be crass!... Maybe the men you dabble with behave in such a way, but not all of us have such low standards."

"...So you're saying he had no interest in what was underneath?"

"I'm saying... I..."

"Yes?"

"Well, of course, he did, but it's not exactly appropriate to say so!"

"Terribly vulgar of me, I'm so sorry, Your Majesty, but no less true for it. Hell, in that dress, I'm a little interested in what's underneath."

"Miss Swan!"

"Of course, as we just discussed, my standards are awfully low, so... Figures."

Emma shrugs with a smirk which only widens when the brunette appears to struggle to find a response.

"How much rum have you had?"

Regina asks finally, not quite hitting the mark in her aim to sound bossy and unflustered, and the blonde meets her gaze easily and shrugs.

"Not enough to go saying things like that without meaning them. But, relax, I only meant it in a friendly way. Nothing weird."

"Friends don't joke about seeing each other naked..."

"I'm not sure either of us has enough experience to really know what friends do or don't do... Are you saying that's what we are?"

"I..."

"And it's not like the thought's never been reciprocated, so it's really not a big deal."

Emma reasons, and Regina narrows her eyes as she insists firmly

"I can promise you, the thought has never entered my head, dear."

"Oh... Well, now it's awkward."

The blonde sighs, her expression hard to read, but the Mayor pays little attention to this curious reaction to her rebuttal as she finds herself currently lost in her own uneasy thoughts; the younger woman's flippant teasing sewing a seed of doubt as she finds herself recalling several of her nastier remarks thrown the Sheriff's way that had been just a little flustered behind their intended sting.

"Well, if seeing you all dolled-up didn't put him off, what did happen tonight?"

Emma asks finally, and Regina rolls her eyes at the very notion of the younger woman's suggestion, before responding with a sigh.

"It was fine, honestly, just... Well, that's about it, really."

"Hmm, not a glowing review of a first date, no."

The blonde agrees as she tops up their glasses; paying no notice to the hand the Mayor holds up to deter her and instead adding an extra-generous glug of gin to the darker woman's glass.

"Emma..."

"Regina..."

"Ugh, you're as bad as Henry with that."

"Well, we both know it annoys you, and I'm definitely much better than him at that."

"Hmm. True."

"So?"

"I already told you; I don't know. It was just... Awkward? I'm usually good at making a first impression-"

"-Ha!-"

"-I said usually! I saw no point in trying with you!"

"Charming."

"Yes, that was the problem!"

Regina growls.

"Hmm... I don't hate that, it was kind of clever. Go on."

Emma chuckles, and Regina grits her teeth as through dealing with an idiot, splaying her palms as she confides helplessly

"I don't know what more to say! We talked, we ate, we shared some wine. It was... Pleasant... I just... I felt there was something there when he first decided to talk to me, but tonight it just... There was nothing."

"You think he lost interest?"

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous."

"How foolish of me, I-"

"-I don't think he was the one with the problem."

Regina admits, putting an end to any further bickering, and she takes a sip from her rather full glass as she looks to the Sheriff for any useful comments the younger woman might have stashed away.

Has it come to that?!

"I see... I guess he's not a King or a Prince, so-"

"-So what?... You do realise I don't care about that kind of thing anywhere near as much as you think? I'm really not like that when it comes to people, Miss Swan, I-"

"-Umm! You have literally never not made some comment or other about my past and how beneath you I am."

"Yes, well, that was you. I had no interest in dating you."

Regina scoffs dismissively, and the blonde raises a brow as she counters silkily

"I don't know; little boys pull the pigtails of the little girls they secretly like out in the schoolyard... Little girls sometimes do, too."

"... I trust you're not stupid enough to take that analogy and namecalling any further, dear?"

"Stupid? No. But that last part was speaking from experience."

Emma confides, and the Mayor clears her throat as she retaliates

"And you wonder why the comments I make about you are so often disdainful..."

"They're more than often disdainful, and they're pretty much always judgemental. I stopped trying to argue my case because it became evident that trying to do so was pointless, but it doesn't mean you know me like you claim to, Regina. In fact, you don't know much about me at all, because there's only so many cruel remarks veiled as dry humour I can take before it gets old and it's no longer fun for me... I didn't make that comment about dating royalty to be mean. I genuinely don't know how it works given that you were the Queen. The book doesn't exactly have footnotes explaining that kind of thing!... It wasn't a dig at you."

"Okay."

Regina replies a little uncomfortably, frowning down at her glass as she has never actually had Emma tell her that she's affected by her barbed comments before. She supposes that is, of course, her reason for making them in the first place, but it suddenly doesn't feel all that fun for her either being called out.

"... It's not your fault."

She sighs finally, and Emma glances up at her curiously.

"Huh?"

"It's not your fault that you don't know how things worked in the Enchanted Forest. If anything, it's mine."

"I mean, if everything, it's yours!"

"... It would be custom for a Queen to court within her social circle; within her status. That said, given the example set by your parents, your grandfather- my late and very much unmissed husband- and at least five other members of royalty I can count just off the top of my head, it stands to reason that our customs might not be obvious to an outsider."

"...I guess David and Abigail; that was kind of how I thought it all worked?"

"That is how it was supposed to work, and you know how happy they were... It's an antiquated tradition, and while I'm proud, and I took my position as Queen very seriously- barbarically, but seriously- I'm not blind to there being better ways to go about certain things... It doesn't matter to me if someone is of royal blood or not. After all, it's not as though any sort of union will bring together kingdoms and end war or famine as it might have done back in the Enchanted Forest. It matters to me that I enjoy my time with another and that they spark my interest, and tonight, that just didn't happen. Honestly, dear, I'm enjoying my time spent talking to you more than I enjoyed making small talk with Chris."

Regina sighs.

"I'll bet I'm far better looking, too..."

The blonde smirks, and the darker woman throws her a curious glance.

"How would you know? You have no idea who he is."

"I don't, and I was joking, but I have to say... Not quite the immediate defensive argument and repulsion I was expecting there."

Emma raises a brow suggestively, and Regina rolls her eyes as she fusses with her dress distractedly; feeling a little flushed which she blames firmly on the gin and nothing else...

Miss Swan does have a way of making those little comments that serve to make one wonder...

Taking a sip of her drink in spite of her adamant belief that it's the culprit of the blush she can feel creeping up her throat, she plays the blonde at her own game.

"Well, I suppose there has always been a spark between us, yes. Call it wistful murderous fantasy, and whatever you get out of the situation, but it does make spending time with you interesting as well as insufferable, dear."

"I-"

"-And, you know, I have to ask... You make so many of those flirtatious little remarks; I wonder if perhaps I should be worried?"

"If you consider that flirting, then yes, you should probably be worried."

Emma grins, but the Mayor is not so easily deterred.

"I call it as I see it, Sheriff. Taken by themselves, your comments could be considered a little odd, a little crude, but then I believe you are the embodiment of both, and so I shouldn't find myself all that surprised... It's not just what you say, though. It's how you say it, and how you look at me when you say it. You flirt with me, dear, there's no other word for it."

"That's a bit rich coming from the Queen of making everything sound unnecessarily sexual!"

The blonde counters.

"I'm the Queen of many things, but that which you accuse me of is entirely accidental, I assure you. Perhaps it's wishful thinking...?"

"Or, perhaps it's that you word things like you're scripting high-brow porn some of the time!"

"I wouldn't know... And you're deflecting. We were discussing your habits, not mine. Ever since I've known you, you've slipped in the odd remark here and there that's caught me by surprise. Since the breaking of The Curse and our relationship becoming... Cordial... The frequency with which you slide in flirtatious obscurities has increased measurably... Then you go and make a comment- an admission- as you did about bullying little girls to disguise your interest, and I just find myself curious, dear..."

The brunette admits, taking a sip of her gin while regarding the younger woman pointedly.

"Mm. That was an awful lot of words to ask a relatively simple question."

Emma muses, crunching a sliver of ice between her teeth before she looks up and shrugs; confiding cryptically

"I told you; you don't know much about me. Not the casual, everyday stuff a friend might know."

"Perhaps not, but I'd always presumed-"

"-Exactly!"

The blonde interrupts, and Regina raises a brow as she considers this accusation and shakes her head.

"Alright... I'll admit I have allowed negative bias to dictate some of my opinions about you in the past. Perhaps in the present, also. But, in this case, I merely put the pieces together. Those being; you are my son's mother, and I do not believe him to be the product of immaculate conception! You were all over Graham-"

"-For fuck's sake, I told you-"

"-That you were doing so to get to me. I know... I just sometimes find myself wondering what you mean by that... And let's not pretend you took any issue with your rather intimate motorcycle rides with August..."

"Okay, come on, really?! The guy has been low-key stalking me for most of my life!"

"So? You didn't know about any of the dirty details until a couple of months ago; you simply enjoyed having him between your legs... For safety, I'm sure."

"Well, it would have been kind of hard to ride shotgun any other way! And so what if I did?... I feel like you're trying to make a point, but you're doing a terrible job of getting there. Not all of us want to stick to just one choice every time when there's a whole menu to be tried, Madame Mayor... As for my comments you claim to be my way of flirting with you; if you minded, you should have said."

"Like that would do anything other than invite a hundred times worse!"

The brunette scoffs.

"If I honestly thought I made you uncomfortable, I wouldn't do it."

Emma insists firmly, and Regina nips at her bottom lip as she considers her companion pensively and supposes she knows she's telling her the truth.

"So?... Should I stop?"

The blonde prompts, sipping at her gin as she waits for what should be a simple answer.

Except it isn't. It would be simple if she minded, or just didn't want you messing with her the way you do. Only, I'm not so sure that she does mind, but to admit that would be dangerous.

"Miss Swan, I learned long ago that telling you what to do is a waste of breath, time and energy."

"... Okay. Not hearing a no there, and-"

"-Your comments, while juvenile, do me no harm."

Regina shrugs as though there's little more to say on the matter, and she catches a slight frown from Emma as this now leaves them in a rather strange place.

More than strange!

And, she could say something else to steer their conversation away from dangerous innuendo and veiled meaning- she could just nip it in the bud altogether!- but Emma's menu analogy has left her curious, and while the logical side of her brain groans at her to shut up and dismiss the Sheriff before things get out of control, her hand lifts her glass back to her lips seemingly of its own accord, and when she does speak, she neither calls the younger woman out nor sends her on her way.

"No, your little comments do me no harm... In fact, apart from telling me that he liked my dress, Chris had very little else to offer in the sly little comment department. I was almost offended."

"You should be... I have plenty more to offer, and I don't even stand a chance to get laid tonight... Right?"

"Mm... Well, why don't you refill the ice, dear, and perhaps you might amuse me with a sample of what you have to offer... Sly little comments that is."

"... Gladly."