Guess who is back in one piece? ME!

After my little show-down and murdering a couple of people here, the Mafia is a stable place once again! People have stopped ditching me because nobody really wants to die with their family.

I managed to cover my detective job with Aizawa now in the Mafia, so he can just walk on in and hand it over. I had an easy cover-up that I got sick because, whenever I get ill, I have to be knocked out until I wake up. Otherwise, it's just a line of panic attacks.

Himiko and Dabi returned Chiyo back without a problem.

Eri is still precious as always, and anyone who fucks with her will die.

With that little update out of the way, it's time to break some bones- I mean, politely beat the shit out of students to inform them that they won't always win.

. . .

What? Am I suppose to teach them something else?

Eri is with Mom because I need to go to UA with Aizawa as he needs to do something before I can fight.

Aizawa leads me to his office, where four braces are sitting on his desk.

I can't help myself, "Who you plan on tying down in here, you kinky slut?"

"Nobody, you brat. They are weighted bracelets, and I expect you to wear them, so the students have a chance. It might also help in hiding who you are if you're slower," Aizawa growls.

"Okay, fine!" I roll up my sleeves, bleach wipe the bitches somehow, and put them on, "Oh, fuck." I stand up, and oh boy, I'm quick to notice the weight.

"They start off on five pounds (2.3 kg) each but adapt, so you stay at a constant speed."

"Wait, so I could potentially go faster once I remove them?!" Why didn't I think of this idea?! I know it isn't Aizawa's intention, but still!

"That's not the goal of it, but yes. Now, I need you to stay in here out of trouble until I need you."

"Come on! You could at least leave me with one of the teachers!"

"No."

He doesn't even leave me with something to do when he walks out!

Okay then, you emo hobo. I'll find something to do myself.

When Aizawa enters his office again, it takes him a moment to recover because the word 'clean' is not in his dictionary.

"Are you serious, brat? It has only been ten minutes." Aizawa asks with a bored look on his face.

"I don't know what you expect. Also, your bracelets have already changed the weight from five to twenty pounds (9.1kg). Change it back."

"Jesus. I knew you were strong, but that's heavier than expected. Anyway, you should still be a little faster than me. Since you're so fast, I didn't need you to beat them within a minute. I need you to give them a challenge and still make them lose."

"Oof, alright then." Aizawa leads the way to the field where all the students are waiting. My glasses immediately start informing me of their quirks and all that jazz because I got a hold of that information earlier. Most of them immediately recognize me and wave. Being the polite boy I am, I wave back. Aizawa shakes his head as he starts his speech,

"Today, everyone will be facing Midoriya-"

"WHAT?! WHY?" Bakugo, your anger is showing.

"Unless you want to be expelled, I recommend you quiet down. As I was saying, everybody will be facing Midoriya at once. You don't know his quirk, but he knows yours presumably as, when you're a public hero, your quirk will be known. Midoriya is one of the top detectives in Japan, so don't be surprised if he knows your strengths and weaknesses. Bakugo, I know you probably know Midoriya's quirk, but don't spread it around for the sake of this exercise. Besides that, you may do whatever you want."

Then, Aizawa turns to face me, "Do not make me send them to Recovery Girl for anything severe, please."

I huff, "Bold of you to assume I would leave them alive!"

Aizawa flares up his useless Eraser quirk on me, "Don't."

"Alright, alright, " I face the students, "Go in whatever formation you want to face me. I'll give you a moment to consider." I put my hands in my pocket where my yo-yos are, pull my gloves on, and I stand there chilling.

Immediately, ruckus breaks out as the students discuss their position. I can see the disappointment in Aizawa's face already!

Now, if you want an instructive point of view, there are really only two ways of going about this; you can either face me in a line or surround me. These are the first two that come to mind. Still, there is also the possibility of spreading out in random positioning, which would have the least amount of advantages for me.

Let me explain.

If they line up, I can bounce off of them like a ping-pong ball. That's what I am used to, so this would be the most leisurely round if they chose that.

If they surround me, it's slightly better. However, they run the risk of accidentally using their quirks on each other.

Randomization is the best because it means I have to take time running between each of them, and the close-combatants can attempt to wear me out. Once they are out, use your long-range attackers.

Of course, there are other ways of going about it. However, they will lose anyway.

I sign to Aizawa, "Can I attack? I'm bored." When I receive the nod, I grin.

I zoom forward and tackle my most prominent threat to the ground: Iida Tenya. Meanwhile, I throw my right-hand yo-yo at this short dude with purple balls for hair, wrap him up, and throw him at this boy who dispenses tape from his elbows. I attempt to capture the tail karate boy at the same time, but he manages to dodge. Oof.

I bend down to the boy under me and knock him out before standing up and facing the scattered students with a smirk, "You took too long to decide. I was being nice there."

Aizawa has to ruin my fun, though, "Pull back more, Midoriya. That force injured both Mineta and Sero."

"I was!"

"Not enough. Do that again, and I will increase the weights."

"Fine!" I face the students,

" Iida Tenya - Quirk: Engine - Iida has engines on the back of his calves that allow him to speed up. Interesting enough, his engines are manual, so it takes time for him to go full speed. At least he is consistent. And people say they were going out!

Mineta Minoru - Quirk: Pop-off - His hair is replaced with purple balls that can stick wherever he likes except himself. However, he's SLOW AF.

Sero Hanta - Quirk: Tape - He's a tape-version of Spiderman.

To be honest, those are your big hitters for someone like me. If you remember, when I first came, I was fast. If you could have trapped me, easy win. Well, good luck." I am lying about the easy win. If I lose to high-schoolers, I will arrest myself.

I may be pushing my ego too much because I am much slower now, but oh well!

"GET OVER HERE, DEKU!" Bakugo yells from behind me as explosions go off. Crackling can be heard near my feet, causing me to hop up.

OH FUCK, I'M ON ICE! That's not a bad idea.

I spin around quickly just in time to grab Bakugo by his shirt and slam him into the ground hard enough to knock him out. I get on top and use him as a footstep to get off the ice. I jump off on him onto solid ground to barely avoid a tail and a pole. I wrap my yo-yo around the pole to pull from the grip as I counter a kick from tail a boy. I spin around to kick the girl in the chest.

"Bakugo Katsuki, explosion. Ojiro Mashirao, tail. Yaoyorozu Momo, creation." I mutter as I knock them out. These are all decent combatants. With a grin, I start spinning around with my yo-yos on the ground to kick up a dust cloud to cover up.

Then, I went ham on the students until they all went out except one as the dust goes away. The only one who almost got me was Todoroki with his ice, but I got out of that.

"Kirishima Ejiro - Quirk: Hardening. Honestly, you have my weakness. Hey, dear! Can I give him mercy?! I like him. He also was one of the few trying to settle everyone down."

Aizawa pinches his nose, "Whatever. As long as he learned his lesson."

Kirishima quickly nods, "Yes, sir!"

After that, we wait for the students to get up or be shipped to Recovery Girl.

To the remaining, I have to tell a speech, "So I heard some theories being tossed about my quirk; mainly, my quirk is either intelligence or speed. Either way, you're fucking wrong because I'm quirkless. I'm just here to show that quirks aren't everything. Can I leave now? I have shit to do."

"Without cursing, yes," Aizawa mutters.

"I wish ya'll luck! I don't know when to see you all again, but I wish you luck at the Sports Festival and all that jazz!" With that, I walk off because I have shit to do as a detective and as Virus.

You know, I love people who cause trouble with a reason.

Especially if that reason is to fight for consumers BECAUSE FUCK BIG COMPANIES!

Except for Walmart. I love you, babe.

After a little bit of research, I appear in front of a specific door and knock as Virus.

The door opens to reveal a grey-haired young man (I feel I must address this) in fancy clothing.

Say hello to Gentle Criminal, everyone! Someone I hope to recruit in the Mafia. Gentle is a compelling case as he is similar to me with dramatics. Shit, he has his own Youtube channel for fuck sakes! It just has mostly dislikes somehow, but I digress. I like him!

The moment he sees me, he starts freaking out, "I promise I did nothing wrong, please spare-"

I laugh, interrupting him, "No, you're fine. Actually, you caught my eye."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. The only real problem I see is that you don't think shit through. I would love to have you on the Mafia. Bitch, someone who attacks a store over food is me. You can continue that as long as I can train you, so you don't accidentally hurt someone again." Woo, that makes him pale! He actually was aiming to be a hero, but he kept failing the test. He just didn't have the mindset.

"On one condition."

"Depends, what?"

"If my partner La Brava may join as well." La Brava is the one who records his robberies. She also is a good hacker, apparently, so I don't mind at all.

"Of course! We have a deal?" I offer my claw with the electronics off. He offers it.

"You have a deal, Virus!"

Bless, I did something useful with my life today!

Welp, that's all I got for now. Life is slow. Later!