p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="d2da0923c0bdf8a8028f2b33a9bcd818"As soon as Jonathan is distracted with something else, I walk to the kitchen and grab a bottle of whiskey. I'm 100% positive that after drinking this, I'll probably throw up, but honestly I will gladly do that./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2c99235e7648ca4e9700e5dcedbb90ec"I drink maybe half of the bottle all at once, and I set it on the kitchen counter, leaning against it. My stomach is already churning, and I feel a little relieved by that. Something about having to do what I just did makes me feel sick to my stomach, figuratively and literally./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2f5a862bc2b0e6c1fce1c4f6865fdc25"I walk into the bathroom, knowing that Jonathan is watching me out of sheer confusion, and then I promptly throw up. Jonathan walks over, standing in the doorway./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="26478db11a74b3c8675f463fee30cba7" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a827396990c24177f7f64f0f77421963"The 'Doctor Einstein' Jonathan sees in front of him is one he wishes he hasn't seen before or ever will see again. He's just a mess. Pale, shaking, on the verge of either throwing up or crying, and just sitting on the floor next to the toilet./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="b0e3df5962aa3a70dbdc1556a56adbd0"He may not give off the impression that he actually cares, but Herman is one of the few people that he actually does care about. He's not sure if Herman is even aware of that fact. Even if he is, he probably thinks that Jonathan says it to make him feel like he fits in somewhere./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1e8839d4b6373de1609c9ec9876f1c42""Doctor... are you okay...?" He says softly. Einstein just shakes his head, and he immediately regrets doing so, considering he throws up again. Jonathan cringes a little on the inside. Physically, he probably looks like a stone cold bastard as usual, but deep down, he feels incredible guilt for all the stress he's caused this poor doctor./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="715301623440f3580550bb0e09726ede"He's not even an actual doctor./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="24a1af06fe95f9d8127bf96cfc4f9d86"Jonathan walks over to the rather pathetic surgeon sitting on the floor, and crouches down in front of him. He knows that Herman is too afraid to look him in the eyes. He always has been./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2475a03e7b27723f6ef643312f7171c8""Doctor, why do you do this to yourself?" is what Jonathan wants to say. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"WANTS/em/span. But, he knows he can't say it in a way that won't make Einstein feel worse about himself. He knows how much Einstein hates himself. And he is completely aware that it is his fault./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="181dd06e92eb1ca8ffeb9db6227a7552"He just can't make himself say it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="22b94ee9f75f6ca809b3f76bf6114915"Besides, he's a psychopath. He barely acknowledges his guilt./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9c675b12137ba81abd25a0e042f2516f"He only does when things like this happen./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="cfe201de5943405c840233fec4378a45" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1ded4bf2bd74a06e2c7d1e78536f2a0a"I look at Jonathan, who is just blankly staring at me at this point. I narrow my eyes./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1360e7e5561afb0143c85fcd8a629646""If you're just going to stare at me, zen get ze fuck out." I don't even care how Jonathan will react. The fire in his eyes sparks up drastically. Then I realize something very uncharacteristic of me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ac2061d005b4fda644a6135fdf663647"I'm not afraid./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="517007a13e0bd793ace1409eebe67fed""Doctor, I-" Jonathan narrowly misses a bottle of soap I threw at him./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2d52894cd991fa5e6aed766f52f04454""I told you already, if you're going to stare, zen get ze fuck out!" I snap at him, and my voice cracks. I realize I'm crying, but I don't know why. I put my hands on my head, just wishing that everything turned out differently./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="605593a9bb6549f213c04c5440870c5d"I flinch when Jonathan hugs me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="762f1587874f1d5e4080b3b6da5f25a9""Shut up and calm down, you dumbass." I can't help but smile. My smile gradually becomes a stupid grin, and I start laughing. I'm still crying, so Jonathan looks at me like I'm the insane one of the two of us./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="dcc57371e56ef87931e12c026ea89833""I-I hate you... so much..." I hug him tightly, nearly knocking him to the floor from the force. He laughs softly./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="68cdce4ad9b48c0b14a685c3df8ae751""I know you do."/p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2c99235e7648ca4e9700e5dcedbb90ec"I drink maybe half of the bottle all at once, and I set it on the kitchen counter, leaning against it. My stomach is already churning, and I feel a little relieved by that. Something about having to do what I just did makes me feel sick to my stomach, figuratively and literally./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2f5a862bc2b0e6c1fce1c4f6865fdc25"I walk into the bathroom, knowing that Jonathan is watching me out of sheer confusion, and then I promptly throw up. Jonathan walks over, standing in the doorway./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="26478db11a74b3c8675f463fee30cba7" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="a827396990c24177f7f64f0f77421963"The 'Doctor Einstein' Jonathan sees in front of him is one he wishes he hasn't seen before or ever will see again. He's just a mess. Pale, shaking, on the verge of either throwing up or crying, and just sitting on the floor next to the toilet./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="b0e3df5962aa3a70dbdc1556a56adbd0"He may not give off the impression that he actually cares, but Herman is one of the few people that he actually does care about. He's not sure if Herman is even aware of that fact. Even if he is, he probably thinks that Jonathan says it to make him feel like he fits in somewhere./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1e8839d4b6373de1609c9ec9876f1c42""Doctor... are you okay...?" He says softly. Einstein just shakes his head, and he immediately regrets doing so, considering he throws up again. Jonathan cringes a little on the inside. Physically, he probably looks like a stone cold bastard as usual, but deep down, he feels incredible guilt for all the stress he's caused this poor doctor./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="715301623440f3580550bb0e09726ede"He's not even an actual doctor./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="24a1af06fe95f9d8127bf96cfc4f9d86"Jonathan walks over to the rather pathetic surgeon sitting on the floor, and crouches down in front of him. He knows that Herman is too afraid to look him in the eyes. He always has been./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2475a03e7b27723f6ef643312f7171c8""Doctor, why do you do this to yourself?" is what Jonathan wants to say. span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bold;"em style="box-sizing: border-box;"WANTS/em/span. But, he knows he can't say it in a way that won't make Einstein feel worse about himself. He knows how much Einstein hates himself. And he is completely aware that it is his fault./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="181dd06e92eb1ca8ffeb9db6227a7552"He just can't make himself say it./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="22b94ee9f75f6ca809b3f76bf6114915"Besides, he's a psychopath. He barely acknowledges his guilt./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="9c675b12137ba81abd25a0e042f2516f"He only does when things like this happen./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="cfe201de5943405c840233fec4378a45" /p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1ded4bf2bd74a06e2c7d1e78536f2a0a"I look at Jonathan, who is just blankly staring at me at this point. I narrow my eyes./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="1360e7e5561afb0143c85fcd8a629646""If you're just going to stare at me, zen get ze fuck out." I don't even care how Jonathan will react. The fire in his eyes sparks up drastically. Then I realize something very uncharacteristic of me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="ac2061d005b4fda644a6135fdf663647"I'm not afraid./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="517007a13e0bd793ace1409eebe67fed""Doctor, I-" Jonathan narrowly misses a bottle of soap I threw at him./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="2d52894cd991fa5e6aed766f52f04454""I told you already, if you're going to stare, zen get ze fuck out!" I snap at him, and my voice cracks. I realize I'm crying, but I don't know why. I put my hands on my head, just wishing that everything turned out differently./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="605593a9bb6549f213c04c5440870c5d"I flinch when Jonathan hugs me./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="762f1587874f1d5e4080b3b6da5f25a9""Shut up and calm down, you dumbass." I can't help but smile. My smile gradually becomes a stupid grin, and I start laughing. I'm still crying, so Jonathan looks at me like I'm the insane one of the two of us./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="dcc57371e56ef87931e12c026ea89833""I-I hate you... so much..." I hug him tightly, nearly knocking him to the floor from the force. He laughs softly./p
p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px;" data-p-id="68cdce4ad9b48c0b14a685c3df8ae751""I know you do."/p