A/N: Hey everyone – so this chapter is from Killian's POV again. I originally had it planned to jump to Emma's, but then I ended up having so much I wanted to write that I had to add a chapter. This one takes about a week after the first date, and it includes a Killian/David conversation, a critical flashback (which is darker than my usual stuff, but I wrote it so it's probably more like angst-light), and then some CS cuteness to make up for it. I hope that you guys enjoy and would love to hear what you all think! Thank so much for reading!
Staring out from the stretch of beach where he and Emma had their first date about a week ago, Killian found a strength and a solace that he was in dire need of.
That wasn't to say that things weren't going well with Emma, they were. Still there was something that kept him from feeling the true depths of happiness a mate should provide. It had nothing to do with Emma either, for she was perfect in every way. She managed to spark something in him that made him better by mere association, and she inspired him more than anyone ever had before. The problem was his and his alone, and it all stemmed on the fact that he still had not told her who he truly was.
Since meeting Emma, Killian had known that the truth of what he was would have to be revealed. There was no way to hide his nature, and, to be honest, he wouldn't want to even if he could, at least not long term. His greatest wish was the chance to be completely open with Emma, to let her see each side of him, the good, bad, and the ugly, for only then could she decide what was right for her. He hoped that she would choose him still, but he didn't know for certain. All things indicated Emma being open minded and full of care and kindness, but this secret was so much to handle. She would have to learn of a whole new world, and that was before finding out about Killian's lineage and his darkened familial past.
In that past lay Killian's surest worry, for in his heart, underneath the anxiety and the worry, he knew Emma would love him even as he was. She would be shocked to find out he was both man and wolf, but it wouldn't stop this thing between them. His past though… well that would be harder for her to empathize with since she had a tight-knit and adoring family. They had faced trials, but none like the demons in his world, and while Emma was capable of nearly anything, he didn't know if she could put herself in his shoes. Would she understand the choices he'd made and the actions he'd taken? Or would the man he'd been prove to be a scar she couldn't look past?
Killian didn't know what Emma would do, but as he stood there on the shoreline, gazing out into the expanse of blue/grey ocean and feeling the lick of a cool coastal breeze against his skin, his mind wandered back to that man, and his most horrible, morally reprehensible deed…
Stalking through the dense underbrush of the forest surrounding his father's compound, Killian knew he made no noise and left virtually no trace. He had perfected all skills of the hunt over the past few years, forcing himself to become a natural predator. He understood the way winds shifted and why the earth made sounds beneath each creature in the woods. He exploited that knowledge to move closer and closer to his destination, and as he did so he fought off the remembrances of this land and the life he once had here.
As a child Killian had free range of the compound and the miles and miles of land surrounding it. He and his family were revered amongst the clan that lived in these mountains, and though he and Liam had never been old enough to shift, their father had believed it was their duty to learn this place from top to bottom. His methods had often bordered on reckless, like the time he stole Killian from his bed one night only to drop him in the middle of the woods two miles off from home. Killian had woken up alone and terrified, but the only thing he feared worse than the woods was his father's anger. As such he'd never cried out for help. He only did his best to track back home. It took him hours, but finally he found his way. When he was back his mother was a wreck, barely holding it together, and Liam looked like he might pop off at their father at any moment, but his father had offered only a sickening grin and a twisted bit of commentary.
"A whole two hours faster than your, brother. We might make something of you yet."
That incident was one of the reasons that Killian's mother had decided to run. She had known for a long time that his father was a monstrous man, but with Liam at least Brennan had waited until he was twelve for such a perilous test. At barely seven, Killian was that much less equipped to find his way and survive the night. He could have died out there in the autumn chill, and though he was but a boy he'd realized how wrong that was. A father who could do that held no love in his heart for his child, and that was just another reason that killing him tonight would be a relief and not a burden. Killian's heart was filled with hatred and resentment. He should never have been treated that way, and neither should Liam or their mother. Brennan was evil incarnate, and to have such twisted actions come from 'family' was the worst thing imaginable…
Calm yourself, Killian. Don't think of him. Think of us. We're stronger together. He can't win, not if it's you and me he's fighting.
The mental command from Liam was predictable but also necessary. Killian was getting carried away with his emotions and his brother was right – he couldn't let his thoughts run away with him. He had to take that hurt and hate and wield something stronger. Giving into remembrances would distract him, and since the time had come to make their move, distraction could not come. Instead he should focus on his and Liam's bond – they were of one mind these days, and their animals needed to be in tune to face this.
Two guards at the front, and four – no five – inside, Killian said through their telepathic link. After a moment he felt Liam's agreement come through their bonded connection.
It's time. You know what to do.
Killian did know and his wolf let out a low growl in anticipation. His paws flexed along the ground before he moved into position. It was his job to stay hidden for the time being. Liam would create the diversion to draw out more of the guards, which took the form of a loud and harrowing howl, and then Killian would strike. They'd gone over this a hundred times, and at first it went just as expected. Killian found the high ground as Liam purposefully gave himself away. The scouts began to sniff the air and still caught nothing, only when Liam was ready did they sense him, and then all hell broke loose.
The small army that their father had collected over the years was fearsome by any shifter standards, but for Liam and Killian, they proved to be a test that was easily withstood. Liam alone took down the two guarding the outside, making sure to injure and not kill as he did. Killian didn't care if the whole lot of them were slaughtered, since they each of them enabled Brennan and subjected their own families to his ruthless ways, but Liam insisted that it wasn't right. Finally Killian agreed, if only because it would save him strength for when the time came to take down his father.
With each opponent they took down, Killian could feel them getting closer to that goal. He sustained some hits from their enemies, but instead of it lessening his strength, Killian felt empowered with every small victory. He absorbed the pain and made it something new, something wild and indestructible. Of the five remaining, Killian alone took down four, and he would have taken them all if Liam hadn't again counseled him for restraint.
Save your strength, brother. You'll need all of it.
Killian knew he was right, and he watched as Liam made quick work of their last attacker. When they were all down, the world around Liam and Killian was quiet again, but in the quiet there was a sinister thrill that crept up Killian's spine. Their father knew they were here, and he was waiting for them, making them enter his space one final time if they wanted to take him down.
Wordlessly Liam and Killian moved forward, still in wolf form. Their breathing was schooled, their stamina high as they stalked in, but when they finally saw their father he was in human form. In the ten years that they'd been apart, Brennan had done some changing. He was bigger now, though his hair had started to show silver in the midnight black Killian remembered. But the most altered thing about him wasn't the harder lines of his face or the bulk of his body – it was his eyes. They were fractured, with the once gold irises taking on a sallow tint. There was no longer a solid ring of color, but jagged pieces like broken glass. It was unnatural and unnerving, and Killian believed it must be because of the sickness. Either way, Brennan looked completely undaunted by either of them, and instead he smiled in a way that spoke to a true mental dissociation.
"Well, it took you two long enough to get here."
Killian repressed the urge to growl at the words, but he wouldn't give his father the satisfaction. Instead he remained stony, his muscles tight and ready to charge.
"So, are you going to stand there all night or are you going to shift so we can talk this out as men? Your mother wasn't the brightest, but whatever witch she got to block you all certainly was."
The urge to lunge and go for his father's throat was too strong, and Killian was a second away from doing it when Liam surprised him by shifting. Killian was too shocked to think of what his brother could be doing, but he heard Liam's mental 'trust me,' and realized his brother must have a plan.
"There's nothing to talk out. You know what you did, and it's time you've paid for all you sins."
Liam's words were forceful and earnest. They resonated in a way that spoke to their being a very real threat from a man who took honor and character seriously, but their father didn't take it that way. Instead he laughed maniacally and the sound sent a chill through Killian. He'd been a madman before, but now Brennan was just completely mad.
"And I suppose you're going to be the one to do it? Tell me, Liam, did time do anything to ease those insecurities of yours? Did living half a world away finally let you believe you were an equal shifter to your brother?"
"It's never been about who is strongest," Liam said, not taking the bait. "The only thing that matters is together we can defeat you."
"How… moronic of you to think that way," Brennan said, losing interest in Liam as he set his eyes back to Killian. His look of approval was sickening to Killian, mostly because as a boy he'd wanted it so badly. Now it made him ill to think that Brennan saw a single thing he liked about him. "You were always supposed to be my second, Killian. Your mother knew that – it's why she ran. She sought to steal that right from you. She couldn't see what you were meant for. Seemed in securing strong bloodlines I sacrificed having a mate with real sense."
Liam and Killian stared at their father, who had just opened a door to a question both brothers had long held close. How in the world could their parents have been mates? What could have possibly possessed their mother to submit to a mating with a devil made flesh like him?
"I see your mother never told you the truth," Brennan said with another chuckle as he flexed muscles and brought his hands together, stretching leisurely, as if the fight before them wouldn't be to the death. "Allow me to illuminate you – your mother was an investment. She came from a good family, with a rich alpha tradition and I wanted sons born of a certain stock. She, meanwhile, wanted a 'fated mate.' Typical womanly foolishness."
"You faked it somehow, didn't you?" Liam asked, his voice so hard from hatred Killian thought that he himself had spoken aloud.
"I forced a witch to help me… shall we say… convince your mother of our bond. She believed that it was meant to be, and I played the part until I had what I needed – heirs. My only mistake was in thinking your mother a push over. Turned out she had a bit of smarts after all – eluding me all that time. I was almost impressed enough to let her live."
The insult to his mother proved too much to bear, and without any words to Liam Killian attacked, charging his father who immediately shifted into his animal form. Things from there were messy and hectic. It was a tussle that seemed nearly impossible. Brennan was practically double his size, having so many years on them and so little human instinct left. He was ruthless and underhanded, but at one moment, when it looked like he'd earned the upper hand on Liam, Killian found his opening. Without any hesitation or delay he struck, taking his father by the throat and ending him, much to his father's surprise.
Wounded beyond his shifter ability to heal, Brennan's body moved back to human form instinctively. As his hands moved up to his injured neck he looked almost happy with what had happened despite the fact that he would die. The mania in his eyes was undeniable, and the fractured black lines that were there before seemed to shatter before filling in with the color of his blackened soul. Slowly the gold of a healthy wolf turned nightshade, and with his dying breath he left Killian with some final, chilling words.
"You are what I always wished you would be."
A few moments passed where the adrenaline remained astronomical. Killian waited, watching, and almost doubting that his father could truly be dead but he was. His body lay there, lifeless and unable to be revived, but where he expected relief and release, Killian felt the shadows of his misery creeping up on him. He and Liam might have defeated their father in the end, but somehow Brennan had still wounded him severely. By making him a killer – by making Killian like him – he'd taken something from him, and it was too late to take it back. Killian might have done what needed doing, but he had blackened his own heart to take his father out.
"You did it," Liam whispered, sounding like he was still in awe of all that had happened. "You really did it."
"We did it," Killian said, but his voice was dull and sounded far away even to his own ears.
As the high of the hunt and the fervor of a kill settled, Killian felt more and more consumed with the crushing weight of what he had done. The last few years of Killian's life he had been living just for this chance. He wanted revenge and now he had it. The deed was done, his mother avenged, but who was he now? Was he the man he'd been when all of this began, a man he barely remembered? Or was he the monster made in his father's image that Brennan believed him to be. Killian couldn't decipher for himself so he turned to face Liam, and then his heart plummeted in his chest.
"He bit you," Killian whispered, and Liam made a noise that might be considered laughter but came more from residual fear than anything else.
"No he didn't…" Liam's hand moved up to where Killian was looking, just at Liam's upper arm and then he froze. When he moved again he brought his hand to gazing distance and he saw what Killian saw – blood. He'd been bitten. Oh God, what could they do?! ….
"Has anyone ever told you that you've got the whole brooding, lone wolf thing down pat?"
The sound of Tink's voice pulled Killian from his thoughts and this time he didn't bother getting worked up over the fact that she'd snuck up on him. This was a favorite pastime of the town's resident Lynx and he'd given up pretending he could outdo her, especially when he was in the thick of such a memory. He tried to compose himself and mentally shake away the darkness before responding.
"Glad I fit the part. Something happen?" he asked, not sure why Tink would seek him out on her own.
"Doc Nolan is looking for you," she said with a smile. Killian's stomach lurched and her grin grew even wider. Yeah, Tink definitely knew how uncomfortable but also important this moment would be. "He was thinking you should stop by. Emma's offsite this morning."
"You could try not to look so pleased, you know," Killian said and Tink laughed, the sound light and airy and in full contrast to his own feelings.
"I could, but why bother? This is going to be hilarious. I only wish I had better seats."
Killian didn't bother confirming with her what that meant. He had a vague idea, and it involved Tink listening from some distance away. With shifter hearing she could be anywhere within three blocks and hear the conversation, and Killian would bet anything that she was going to pretend to canvass around the clinic just for a chance to overhear the impending interaction. Instead of fighting it he only sighed, dusting off some of the sand from his clothing and heading out in the direction that he needed to go. Tink offered a chipper 'good luck' and he accepted it, knowing he would likely need it when talking with Emma's father.
The build up to getting to this moment was unnerving, and Killian ran through a few scenarios in his mind. This could go a number of ways, but Killian was hoping that since David Nolan already knew of shifters, he wouldn't be quite so opposed to Killian and Emma's mating. The problem was this was more than an ordinary run of the mill shifter and a human dating. This was him, Killian Jones, heir to the Jones clan and probably the best known runaway wolf on the entire continent.
It remained to be seen how much of his back-story would be known by Doc Nolan. As a healer, David would surely know shifter law and custom, but he might not be up on gossip or clan history. But when Killian finally walked into the clinic and he was face to face with the father of the woman he loved, Killian's suspicions increased. At the very least David was skeptical of Killian, but he played it cool as he greeted him.
"Killian, glad you could make it. Please, come with me."
Killian followed Emma's father's lead, but he was surprised when they passed his office and instead went down to the exam room.
"I hope you don't mind, I still have a full day of patients but I thought it was about time we talked. Seems fitting to ask the town's newest wolf what exactly his intentions are with my daughter."
Killian swallowed harshly at the blunt words, but he trusted David to know when it was safe to speak of such things. The clinic's receptionist was in the building, but with human hearing she was out of distance to pick up on this. As such, Killian was free to tell the truth.
"My intentions are to love her as my fated mate deserves."
For the first time David looked surprised, and Killian could see he had completely flipped the tables on him. His mouth opened but words didn't come out until he cleared his throat and tried again.
"I'm sorry, did you just say mate?" David asked.
"Aye. Emma is the one. I believe you know what that means."
"Well yes, technically. I mean I've met plenty of mates before," Doc Nolan acknowledged as he shook his head, the disbelief still clear as day in his expression. "But Emma's human, and humans and shifters… it's impossible."
"It's long been thought to be, yes. But meeting your daughter has proven that perhaps nothing is ever so finite. I was meant to find her again, and I did. The bond won't be denied."
"Again?" David asked and Killian's brow burrowed in confusion. "You just said you found Emma again. When did you find her the first time?"
Killian internally groaned. He hadn't actually meant to tell Emma's father this, but perhaps it was for the best. Maybe if he knew of Killian's past actions to protect her, he would believe him a suitable match for his daughter. But as Killian told the story, David seemed more guilt-stricken than impressed.
"It always killed me to let her think I didn't believe her," David said. "When she finally told her mother and I what happened, she had already half convinced herself it was a dream, and then the way she described it all, I hoped that it was. A red-eyed aggressor and an unknown savior… it didn't add up. But you're telling me it's real, and I let her…"
"You did what you thought was best," Killian said, feeling for Emma's father and the choice he had to make between telling Emma the truth and keeping her safe from the counsel. "Knowing would have only put her at risk, and now she can know. She'll be protected, and she'll forgive you."
"How do you know that?"
"Because she's Emma," Killian said, knowing that was explanation enough even as he continued on. "Because she's goodness itself and she loves you. And when Emma loves she loves forever."
"You know because you love her," David said, his tone filled with understanding as Killian nodded.
"More than anything. It's not just the bond either. It's deeper than that. I thought of her before I knew – before the match was made. I never stopped thinking of her all this time. She was always meant for me. I just have to try and be enough for her."
"Do you think you can do that? Can you be the man she deserves?"
Killian nodded again. "I would do anything for Emma."
"And do you think that she loves you too?"
"I hope she does," Killian said honestly.
For a moment David was quiet, taking this all in and trying to digest it. It became clear as the seconds ticked by that David was a man guided by reason. Killian was glad for that, because Emma had told him that reasonable or not, her Dad did have those customary paternal instincts of protection that bordered on being overbearing. Even so, David seemed amiable, and his acceptance came much faster than Killian could have ever hoped.
"It's really a miracle when you think about it. You know what it means for the world that our two species can be bonded? It's…"
"Incredible, I know."
The two of them had reached an understanding, though there was still much more to say. Killian had questions of his own, questions of how David knew of shifters in the first place and if he had ever been planning to tell Emma, but just then familiar footsteps sounded down the hall, and Killian knew she was here.
"Emma," he said and David looked confused before the door opened up, revealing she was there.
"Dad? Killian?" she asked, clearly concerned at the two of them being together. "Everything okay?"
"More than," her Dad said easily as he finished up what appeared to be routine shots with his tiny patient. "Killian and I were just talking as he waited for you to get back."
"Oh," Emma said, sounding happy despite herself and offering Killian a smile that he readily returned. "Well I didn't know you were coming. I don't really have a lunch break today. There's a lot going on…"
"Nothing I can't handle. Why don't you kids go? Take the rest of the day. There's only so much summer sun left to be had," her father urged, prompting Killian to grin. To think he'd come in here assuming the worst, but here was Emma's father practically pushing them together.
"Seriously?" Emma asked, flabbergasted. Killian took Emma's hand, surprising her even further since she her father was right there.
"Best not to question such an offer, love. The day will be far more enjoyable spent with you, and I've been hoping to see more of Storybrooke."
"Well in that case…" Emma laughed before going around the table and kissing her Dad on the cheek. "See you later Dad, and thanks!"
They waved goodbye as they left, and Killian and David shared a knowing look. There was still more to discuss, but it could wait for another day. For now he could focus on Emma and try to enjoy her company as much as he possibly could. That was much easier done when they were out of the clinic and headed out into the world. Having Emma's hand in his and knowing that they had unexpected time together was the best kind of surprise, and when she asked him if he wanted to see one of her favorite places in town, his answer was an instantaneous 'yes.'
"I take it that this spot isn't exactly in the thick of everything," Killian said as they walked from the clinic in the opposite direction of town. It seemed they were headed towards the woods, which surprised Killian but made him somehow more excited.
"Not even a little bit. I honestly don't know if anyone else even knows about it," Emma said with a thoughtful smile. "It's kind of my place, for better or worse."
Her statement was loaded, and Killian wondered why a place could be bad. If it was one of her favorites, surely it should only have good memories associated with it, but then again life was more complex than that, and he knew that first hand. Whatever it was about this little corner of the world that spoke to Emma, he would trust in her judgment, and as they moved further and further into the woods, Killian marveled at the fact that she had managed to find a place he himself had yet to track.
"Are you sure this spot is in Storybrooke's purview, love? This has been quite a trek so far."
"Losing steam already? How disappointing," Emma teased back, the easy banter between them prompting a laugh from Killian. "Don't worry. We're almost there… wait for it… now."
Moving past a low hanging willow, whose brush had been obscuring the actual spot Emma had discovered, Killian took in the splendor of this grove of forest. It was somehow even greener than the rest and the sunlight here, though filtered through the canopies above, was present enough for a golden light to shine. There were wild flowers scattered throughout, but the grassy knoll built up to a hill that met up with the highest part of Storybrooke. Killian had found a portion of that high ground before when he was scouting the town upon his arrival, but he completely missed this place. And that was a shame, since it really was a diamond in the rough.
"So what do you think?" Emma asked and Killian squeezed her hand before looking at her.
"I think it's amazing, Emma."
And he did. It was more than aesthetically pleasing too. Whether she was conscious of it or not Emma had picked a place built for safe harbor. It was hidden away and ensconced in a landscape that would hide scents easier than the average grove. Because of the slight unevenness of the land, the winds would work best for a predator here, and the easy access to the high ground was something that Killian always valued, even though he was so many miles away from the problems of his past. If Killian didn't know any better he would think Emma had a shifter's instincts. But maybe this was the byproduct of their bond. He found himself pushing for more details to see if that were possible.
"How did you find this place?"
"Running," Emma admitted, leading him to a row of boulders that were smooth and more comfortable than most natural settings ever allowed. The two of them took a seat, remaining close, their hands still intertwined. "My parents couldn't really seem to keep me in one place very long. As a kid I was constantly going, going, going and by high school, when they let me run the trails myself, there was no stopping me. There probably isn't a single part of these woods I haven't seen, but this spot always felt best."
"I haven't noticed you running much lately," Killian said, wondering if, as he suspected, something had changed her habits around the time she was in Boston.
"When Neal got sick and we relocated it just… didn't come naturally. I wasn't cut out for running around a track or on a treadmill. The best part of running was the fresh air, but I was nervous about the city already and then…"
Emma trailed off, and Killian knew that she was thinking about the night they met. Only Emma didn't realize that he'd witnessed her trauma first hand. He could only imagine how much that must have scared her. It had terrified him and she'd only been a stranger then. Now, thinking back… God he'd come too close to losing her without them really even having a chance.
"But you're back now, love," Killian said moving her closer and wrapping his arm around her. She nuzzled in, appreciating the affection, and Killian breathed in deeply, taking in her scent and finding that despite the bad memories she wasn't anxious or upset. She was still calm and collected, and he was so happy to play even a little part of that. "And if it's a partner you're needing, I happily offer up my services."
Emma glanced at him, her eyes lighting up from the words. The humor he saw there was infectious, but so was the spark of attraction. She had heard his words and thought it was dipped in innuendo, which wasn't actually his intention. Then again, subconsciously he always wanted Emma, and it made sense that his mind might work against his patient tactics in the hope of having something more.
"That wasn't the kind of exercise I was thinking you'd help with," Emma said, her voice sultry and low as her fingers traced down his chest. In an instant his body was flooded with adrenaline and lust. He knew exactly what his mate wanted, and he could sense that she was serious, but then her sexy smile broke into laughter. "That sounded cornier than I meant it to. You know what I meant."
"Oh I definitely know, Emma," Killian replied, her laughter catching in her throat as the heat returned again. Their bodies were inching closer, the tension in the air thick and tantalizing, and Killian wasn't strong enough to resist. His mouth came down to hers, their lips melding together and their kiss grew as time went on.
Out here in the woods, they were assured of complete privacy. There was no one around, of that Killian was entirely sure, and knowing that sparked ideas in Killian's mind. The thoughts he had were dirty and primal. His hands roamed over Emma and he thought about taking her clothes off piece by piece. He could tease and torment them with purposeful slowness, or he could gratify them both by ripping the thin cotton she was wearing to shreds. He loved that idea, and his wolf growled inside for him to choose that course. It was time to have her, to claim, to mate –
Not like this, the rational part of him thought aloud in his head. Emma deserves more than a roll around in the woods. She's everything, and she should be treated as such.
Retreating from the kiss was a battle of sheer will, and Killian didn't know if he had the ability to overcome, but somehow he did. In the moment that they broke apart, Killian kept his eyes fixated on Emma, searching for her thoughts and her feelings. Her eyes were closed still, her sensations delayed, and when she blinked them open and looked at him Killian swore he fell even deeper into her. For there, emanating from those gorgeous jade pools that were the window to her every thought and wish, was an unfiltered love. Emma told him with a simple look that this was more than physical need, and though he could never resent that look, it almost wasn't fair. How could he resist the woman he loved? How could he ever tell her no?
"I don't get how it's possible, but I feel like I always know exactly what you're thinking," Emma whispered, like the connection between them truly amazed her but was also second nature.
"Do you, love?"
"Mhmm. And right now you're thinking sex in the woods might not be our best bet."
Hearing Emma acknowledge how far this could go between them sent a shot of want through him. His stance tightened by only a fraction, but he knew Emma caught it since she mirrored immediately. Flicking her gaze back down to his mouth, she bit her lip in a move of resistance, and it made him want to pounce. No one had any business being so damn tempting, and keeping himself in check around Emma was near impossible.
"Rest assured love, I've no aversion to wide open spaces typically," he said, trying to repress more images of the two of them wrapped up together out amongst the natural world.
"I'll keep that in mind," Emma whispered, her hands running over him with purposeful seduction. It was a playful touch, but it was also one Emma needed right now. Killian knew from personal experience that letting go wasn't an option right now, and he knew his mate felt the same, whether she understood why or not.
"It's just that you're a woman, Emma." That was an obvious comment, and humor entered Emma's eyes before he clarified his thoughts. "You're the best kind of woman, and when we go there -,"
"And we will go there," Emma said, surprising herself when the words were blurted aloud, and turning a bit pink from embarrassment. Killian meanwhile found he had to laugh and he pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth before continuing.
"Aye, love. We will go there. But when we do, it'll be more than a romp in the woods. I want nothing but time, and a full understanding of who we are and what we want. I need to know you're with me, Emma. I need everything laid out between us, because when we take that step there will be no going back."
It was on the tip of his tongue to explain why that was. This wasn't just an expression. Their lives and relationship really would be fundamentally changed when they cemented their fated bond. There were no re-dos or break ups in mated life. True mates were always and forever connected, and Killian knew that Emma and he were as real as they come, despite her being human. Perhaps her status had made their pull even stronger. He wouldn't be surprised, not given how he was already feeling. Still, as much as he wanted to tell her the truth, there was a selfish part of him that held his tongue captive. He was too afraid to push things too quickly, and so he kept quiet, knowing that soon he would have no such luxury. The full moon would be here in just about a week, and Emma had to know by then. She simply had to.
"I love the way you care so much," Emma said, her soft, warm voice pulling him from the worry he'd been facing. Her eyes were lit up with truth and with care of her own, and it made Killian's heart swell in his chest to see her so happy. "And I trust you, Killian. Whatever's coming – because I can tell by the look in your eyes that you think that something is, in fact, coming – it's going to be okay. Whatever it is, it won't break us."
"I don't deserve you, Emma," Killian said pressing his forehead against hers as he breathed her in, trying to capture her goodness and her breathtaking show of support to hold onto forever. "But I promise I will do my best to be better. To do better. For you."
"For us," she countered, and then, after taking his hand and kissing the top of it sweetly, in a gesture he had used on her far more than once, Emma stood from their spot, keeping his hand in hers. "And we'll have to come back to the whole who deserves who nonsense, because I'm not so sure I'm buying that. But first, I need -,"
"Let me guess… grilled cheese and onion rings?" Killian asked and Emma looked pleased, but also moved to say something else before Killian jumped in with the rest. "And a chocolate milkshake with a dash of cinnamon."
"You really do get me," Emma said with a laugh and Killian couldn't help pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her as she leaned into his side.
She was right after all, but what Killian left unsaid was that he more than 'got' her. He loved her, he understood her, and he cherished every part of her that made her the woman that she was. There was nothing about Emma that needed changing, nothing that could dull the shine of his mate in his eyes, and Killian only hoped that he got to stand in her light for many, many years to come.
Post-Note: So there we have it – as I said there was some definite darkness in this chapter. I mean you knew I eventually had to show their father and how that showdown turned out. But the Liam stuff… well, let's just say that part is still to come. I hope that I managed to right some wrongs with the CS fluff and the David/Killian talk though, and I think you can all relax and enjoy in the fact that next chapter we get the big reveal. It will be from Emma's POV, but there are definitely more puzzle pieces to be found and put in place. Hope you all enjoyed, and as always I would love to hear what you thought! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!