Pod or Bunker?

Notes: So... another one of my random drunk-typing. Actually this is something I ALWAYS consider when writing adult scenes. I mean... well... read it and find out. See you at the ending.

Poppy was joyfully humming a song. What a beautiful morning it was. The sky was blue, the trees were green and the flowers opened up as she watered one by one, making their colors bright up everybody's mood.

Hair, everybody deserved to feel as happy as she was!

But, instead of cheering happily like they always did, pop trolls seemed to be grumpy and tired. Some yawned and they walked around getting their daily work done the best they could. She even caught sight of two of them napping through a hug time!

They didn't answer her good mornings; instead, they just shrugged and walked off, as if annoyed at her. What the hair had gotten into them?

Later she'd regret knowing.

Guy Diamond was the first to show up. He had big dark circles under his eyes. He had a frowny face! Poppy immediately thought about getting her shiny friend to Dr. Moonbloom because he was certainly in desperate need of medical attention, but before she could voice her concern, he expanded his hair, engulfing her in a big hairball and dragging her towards a deserted part of the forest.

"What's the meaning of this, Guy? Let me go!" She protested, trying to break free from his massive silver hair.

"In a second, Poppy." Guy said, sounding too angry to even answer her properly.

She was confused. Nothing like that had ever happened before. Nobody had ever looked angry or sad. Pop Village was the brightest place and she protected their good moods, as a queen should.

"Poppy!" She heard Smidge's angry voice and a second later, Guy opened his hair, letting her fall sitting down on a small rock. She blinked a few times and took the scene before her: the Snack Pack was there, sitting down in a circle. All looked angry with their arms crossed and uncharacteristically furrowed brows. "This is an in-hair-vention!"

"What?" She asked, looking completely lost. Then she saw, right in front of her, Branch sitting down with an awkward smile, looking at her like he was caught stealing candies before lunch. He was the only one who didn't look pissed off. "What is going on here?"

"See? I told you she's completely clueless!" DJ Suki said, raising her arms in exasperation.

"Guys, can you break it down in a gentler way?" Branch asked in a squeaky voice, hiding his face in his hands. That got Poppy double puzzled. She had never seen her boyfriend looking like he wanted to run away as fast as he could like he was at that moment.

"No!" They chorused. For a second, Poppy thought she might want to run away with him.

"Poppy!" Biggie started, putting his hands on Mr. Dinkles ears to prevent him from hearing. "You and Branch can't meet in the Royal pod anymore."

"What?" It was her turn to frown. Branch was desperately waving his hands, trying to tell her not to ask what it was all about. "But…? Why?" He felt like dying. He looked at the sky and asked why it couldn't just strike him down at once.

"Because you're loud!" Satin said, looking terribly tired and with a puffy makeup she wasn't able to get decently removed the night before.

"Loud?" Poppy was still puzzled. Oh, the innocent questions didn't match the devilish queen they had been hearing since she and Branch confessed their feelings.

"Let's put it this way: the pod isn't exactly sound-proof." Guy said. Even if he was proud of their friends finally coming together. That situation couldn't persist. He needed his beauty-sleep.

"Am I singing that loud?" She still didn't follow and they all groaned in frustration.

"Okay…" Smidge took a deep breath and opened her arms, knowing that it was the only way to get the message to her clueless queen. "It's not singing you're doing with Branch in your pod every night."

"More like screaming." Chenille checked the tip of her fingers as if the situation was getting too boring for her beauty.

"….OH!" Poppy blushed, finally understanding what they were talking about. "Oh My… I never thought…"

"Well, the whole village THOUGHT."

"More like HEARD." Cooper laughed goofily, returning to his angry expression a second later.

"This is why you're forbidden to meet in the pod. Take your… activities to the bunker." Smidge nodded, making everyone agree with her.

"Underground. Sound-proof. Perfect." Branch said, standing up, clasping his hands together, ready to get out of there.

"I think you guys are exaggerating." Poppy scratched her cheek. "I don't remember screaming."

"Poppy, take their word for it." Branch's voice sounded like he had been skinned alive.

"You screamed 'faster' for about ten minutes!" Guy said, wincing at the memory. It was scary.

"Can I go?" Branch fell on his knees, miserably.

"There was a long list of compliments, too." Biggie was the one to notice that they could pay the couple back with some awkward talk. "There was a whole audio description for it!"

"I didn't know Branch had a thing for cuffs." Smidge had a hard time holding back her laughter. It was funny, even her head was pounding from lack of sleep and all the mental images the couple sent through the village the night before – hair – the week before.

"I do wear earmuffs, it's not even the screams that bother me. It's how much the tree shakes." DJ informed, making everybody nod.

"And the ears! Did you hear that part? She totally bit his ear."

"I was trying to muffle the sounds with my pillow at that part. I did hear how b-"

"OKAY STOP!" Branch yelled. He couldn't take it anymore. His intimacy was completely exposed and worse of all, Poppy looked like she still had doubts.

"You call it Branchfer." Chenille was the one to prove to the queen that everybody had heard everything. Loud. And Clear.

"Bunker. We're moving to the bunker, right, sweetheart?" Branch's feet never moved faster. He didn't give her a chance to object, he pulled her by the hand as quickly as he could and stormed away from their friends, deciding that he'd lock himself underground for another ten years, because he was sure it was what it would take for the embarrassment to die.

"I didn't really realize…" He heard Poppy commenting to herself, really lost in her thoughts. He opened the trap door with a tap of his foot.

"No? Every night I ask you to stay in the bunker but you insist on doing it in your pod!" The argument was going to get them nowhere, but at least now they had a good excuse to move in permanently.

"Hair…" Poppy got in deep thought. "How can the others be so quiet? Maybe they're not enjoying themselves as they are supposed to."

"What about we worry about our problems? The others are used to their ways." Uh, he needed something to take his mind off the horrible previous events.

"I don't mind living down here with you." She smiled sweetly at him, giving him a peck on the lips as the elevator stopped in the lounge room. "But I need a space bigger than a drawer." She informed him. She stared at his bed for a while and he studied her cute hips, as she shifted her weight from a leg to another. "Let's face it, my bed is bigger."

"I'll get it for you." He couldn't resist placing his hands on her waist. It was happening! They were moving in together!

"At least now we can be as loud as we want." She grinned naughtily at her boyfriend.

There was always a bright side right?

Notes: Yep, I can't turn down my insane engineer brain when I start writing smut. Hair can't be sound proof, uh! Bunker is always an obvious choice, right? And the tree! The pod is hanging from a tree; it must cause some structural damage, right? Hm... does laws of physics apply in a Trolls world? Okay, enough! Got it out of my brain. Done. Bye. XD