A/N: Hey all! So, as promised, we are back with a new chapter (though I am a day later than my usual posting schedule) and this one is arguably the big one. Finally the reveal is here and I have been waiting for it for what feels like forever. It's going to take a little bit to get there – after all, I can't just drop the bomb with no ease in, but by the end of the chapter Emma will know the truth and we will all know her reaction. Without giving too much more away, I'll leave you all to read. Let me know what you think and I hope you all enjoy!
If someone had told Emma even a month ago that she'd willingly walk down the street hand in hand with a man in front of the whole town, she would have called them crazy. That was absolutely not the kind of thing she ever did, but here she was, braving the Fourth of July festivities, proudly holding tight to Killian's grasp as they made their way down Main Street and over to the park where the town-wide cookout was already in full swing.
"So you're really sure you want to do this?" Emma asked, teasing Killian when he had made it abundantly clear that this was exactly what he wanted. "It's not too late to duck out."
"And miss the chance to turn up with the world's most beautiful woman on my arm? Never."
Emma melted into his compliment, despite how over the top it was, and she marveled at how honest he was being and how she couldn't deny how much he meant the words. They'd been together for a few weeks now, and in all that time Killian bestowed such praise on her constantly. But it never tipped over into the realm of flattery just for flattery's sake. It was charming, but it was also real, and it left her feeling as beautiful as he believed her to be while also tempting her to say screw it and skip this cookout entirely. The things that she wanted to do with this man were hardly appropriate for this public setting, and if the past few weeks had taught her anything, it was that Emma was a lot less patient than she once thought.
A few weeks – really only two of actually dating – was a very short window to feel this possessive of what they had. Emma was protective of their relationship, and she cherished it far more than a passing fling or ordinary courtship. It felt big and bold, and traditionally, this was the stage of a relationship where people started labeling things, maybe calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. But that particular label didn't seem like enough. Somehow, since meeting Killian, Emma had realized that there was a trivialness to that once aspired to status. It felt like a temporary step before either a couple would break or move on to more. And sure, maybe people dated for years and years without officially taking things further, but in her heart Emma already felt like she and Killian were more.
That feeling was something she'd been clinging to the past few weeks. For all the growing and sharing they were doing together, and for all the time they'd spent in each other's company (which never did feel like enough), Emma could still feel some boundaries that simply wouldn't budge, and she wondered why they were up at all. On her end this felt like a given. She was so confident in the two of them, and though they'd never said the words, Emma knew that Killian loved her. He was in love with her, and she felt the exact same way. So what was left between them that was going unsaid? And why did Emma feel like it mattered a whole heck of a lot?
"There's nothing I wouldn't give to know your thoughts right now, love," Killian murmured as they arrived at the park entrance.
There were people milling about, streaming in to get to the party, but Emma and Killian stopped, standing still in the ebb and flow of foot traffic. Emma turned towards him, meeting his stare after he'd made his comment, and she saw in his gaze that he had picked up on everything she was feeling. He might not know exactly what was bothering her, but he knew something was off, and the look in his eyes was so resolute and certain that she knew he was determined to rid her of any burdens she was carrying. That care and love she saw there only made her fall a little bit more in love, but as much as she wanted to tell him, as much as Emma would like to put it all on the table and be honest with him, she knew it wasn't the time or place. With their luck her friends or her parents would pop up any second, and the last thing she wanted was to tell Killian that she loved him for the first time with an audience.
"Good thinking. Probably best not to have such a conversation where we could be ambushed."
Emma gaped at him for a moment before succumbing to laughter. He was funny in his delivery, and the humor was undeniable, but it was also eerie how spot on he was. She knew she hadn't said anything aloud, but he understood her completely anyway. How was that possible? How could any two people be so in tune with each other? And why didn't she hate it after spending her life trying to maintain her privacy in a small town where privacy was fleeting?
"Are you like a secret mind reader or something?" She asked, raising a brow at him and taking stock of him all over as if trying to find some kind of physical sign that he was telepathic.
"I'm an Emma reader, and I hate to break it to you, love, but you're somewhat of an open book."
"I am not," Emma said, shaking her head though she still found herself smiling all the same. "You can ask anyone. I've got a perfect poker face. I'm undefeated at the legion hall charity games – the definition of cool and collected."
"With everyone else I dare say you are, love. But with me…" Killian's words trailed off as he stepped closer, his arms wrapping around her and his fingertips leaving blissful zings of awareness where they brushed against her bare skin. "With us, it's different. We know each other better than we know ourselves. We've learned it fast, but still it's there. Like a language only we speak."
"And apparently I can't shut off the transmission," Emma said, her voice a bit breathier since Killian was so close and she was wrapped up in his scent, and warmth and big strong arms.
"Would you want to if you could?" Killian asked, a bit of concern crossing into his previously relaxed and happy expression. Instantly Emma sought to rectify it, and she did so by answering him honestly.
"No. I love what we have. I wouldn't want to change it."
Thoughtfulness colored his features at that, and while it didn't alarm Emma, it did remind her of her earlier thoughts. Killian was hiding something, something that worried him. There was a secret he was holding onto, presumably something he thought would change what they already had. But even though Emma didn't know what it could be, she wanted to tell him that it wouldn't change things. Whatever he was worried about – whatever he deemed necessary to hold back when they'd always been nothing but open – it wouldn't ruin this, and it was nothing that they couldn't handle together. She knew that deep down in her soul.
"Knowing you want this and want me is the greatest gift, love, and I fully intend to show you how grateful I am tonight. But right now…"
"Let me guess, incoming?" Emma asked, knowing that for whatever reason, Killian was always able to tell way before she was when someone was approaching to interrupt one of their interludes.
"Aye, love. Don't worry though, I'll protect you."
His whispered words as Elsa and Anna appeared had Emma chuckling softly to herself, and after giving her best friends a hug, she returned to holding Killian's hand and began to experience this annual party with a totally new view. It was a very different experience to spend the day like this. Of course she and Elsa and Anna had all been coming together for ages, but they knew the routine like the back of their hand. Killian though was a novice still at Storybrooke's ways and customs, and watching his reactions to all of it and seeing how excited and desirous to participate he was made Emma's already present love for her town's antics grow all the more.
"Okay, so we've had food, we've made the rounds, we kissed the Captain's wheel…"
"Which I still don't get to be honest," Killian whispered low enough so only Emma could hear as Anna went about listing what they'd already done. It was a Storybrooke tradition to kiss the old ship's wheel statue in the park at this festival every year, but no one really knew why that was or how the tradition started. Seeing Killian's reaction to it had been hilarious because he seemed to be the only rational one in attendance, but even with the weirdness, he ended up complying. Just the thought of his reaction, however, made Emma laugh, and she muffled the giggle by ducking into him and using him to keep the sound quiet.
"Now the only thing left to do is rumble!" Anna announced gleefully.
"Rumble? Like a fight?" Killian asked, his stance tensing ever so slightly as he moved to bring Emma a bit closer. It was a protective action, one that Emma appreciated though it wasn't actually needed. She clarified for Anna, speaking in terms an outsider could understand.
"Every year we duke it out at the game tents. It's a big thing – we play every game and whoever ends with the biggest prize wins," Emma said, and while she saw that Killian was appeased that there wouldn't actually be physical violence, he was clearly still concerned about the terminology. Elsa, however, chose this time to cut in.
"But one year when we were kids, the orders got messed up for the game prizes. Emma's Mom ordered normal fair things like stuffed animals and blow up toys and instead the town got five hundred fake WWE championship belts."
"You're kidding," Killian said, not believing it at all, but then he looked at Emma and his eyes widened. "Seriously?"
"Oh yeah," Emma replied. "And, never one to let the unexpected cramp her style, Mom really leaned in. Most of us didn't know anything about professional wrestling -,"
"Heck we still don't," Elsa interrupted with a laugh as Emma smiled.
"But all the adults made a really big effort to make it cool for one night so that we wouldn't be disappointed when all we got was a belt." Killian's eyes softened at that and he nodded, silently acknowledging how touching and fun that must have been.
"So to honor that night – and to honor Emma's Dad's job, which was just to keep yelling 'Let's get ready to rumble!' the whole time – we call this the rumble."
The laugh Killian let loose at the story prompted Emma and her friends to laugh as well. It was, after all, a very funny thing, and Emma could still remember her Dad that night. He knew nothing about wrestling, except for some old catch phrase, but he'd done everything in his power to see them all enjoy themselves, and he had definitely succeeded.
"Well, I might not be the best, seeing as I haven't been to a fair in… I couldn't even say how long," Killian admitted. "But if it's a rumble we're having, then I'm in."
"Great!" Anna said gleefully, and her tone was so chipper it spoke to some kind of scheming. Before Emma could rein her in though, she was already presenting her thoughts. "So I'm thinking you versus Elsa. You fight for Emma, Elsa fights for me, winner gets the better unicorn plushie at the end of this."
"Anna," Emma said, not even knowing how to proceed. She wanted to tell her friend that was silly and that she didn't need Killian to prove himself with some dumb fair games, but then he squeezed her hand and she looked back at his smiling face.
"If you're okay with cheering me on, I think I've got this, love." How could she say no to that? Between the handsome face and the hot as hell accent, lilting in that heated way she loved so dearly, she was helpless to do anything but accept.
From there, a truly impressive 'rumble' proceeded. The four of them went to every tent for every game, and it turned out that Elsa and Killian were well matched. Killian, for his part, was excellent at any game requiring strength and precision, while Elsa was amazing at all the games of chance and seeming randomness. She anticipated better than anyone Emma knew, which usually made her the undisputed winner on fair night, but tonight it was neck and neck, until the final game – the ring toss.
"You couldn't write this better," Anna said to Emma as they stood off watching Elsa and Killian prepare for the final event.
"Couldn't write what?" Emma asked, not following.
"The ring toss," Anna said, matter of factly. Emma blinked, not knowing what her friend was getting at. "Oh come on, Emma. Killian's going to win you the title with a ring, and it's only a matter of time before he gives you a very different kind of ring giving you a very different kind of title."
Realization sunk in after a moment and Emma blushed as she swatted Anna's arm. "Anna, shh, he'll hear you."
"Oh please. That man is in love. L-O-V-E, love," Anna said in what could best be described as a stage whisper. "There are more than wedding bells in the air, Emma. Don't think we all can't see that."
Emma's stomach flipped at the thought. It was something that was so out of this world – getting married? That couldn't possibly be on her radar so soon, and yet it was. This was not the first time she had thought about a future with Killian, and that future, at least the ideal one that her heart liked to surmise about, especially in her dreams, did involve getting married someday. If she were honest with herself, the dreams included that day coming way sooner than it probably should too, but she had never vocalized those wants before and she was worried Killian would hear. For all the good that had blossomed between them these past few weeks, and for as fast as she had grown to love him, Emma couldn't help feeling like there was one last step to take before the future Anna was hinting at. There was one last wall to conquer – one more thing that lay in their path – and while Emma was working on overcoming it, she wouldn't rush Killian.
As if he could feel her watching him, Killian chose that moment to glance back at her. She didn't think that he had heard Anna, but she could feel the intensity of his emotion even from the distance. He was more than clear with his thoughts about her and his care for her, and when he smiled it set the anxiety her friend had just let loose fading away. Emma felt exponentially better, and she offered him her own smile before he turned back to take on the toss.
"I really want this," Emma whispered, her voice low but her meaning more sincere than nearly any words she'd said aloud before. "I want him."
"And you have him," Anna said as she came to take Emma's hand. "Totally and completely."
Emma exhaled a deep breath at the words and she smiled again, following Anna's lead back to Killian and Elsa. They were just about finished with the game. All that was left was one ring on each of their parts. Elsa went first, tossing and almost getting it to stay on the neck of the milk bottle, but it was Killian who was victorious in the end. He cast the ring with a finesse Emma hadn't expected, and it landed perfectly atop the bottle, making him the victor.
The excitement and the pride that Emma felt in the face of his winning was certifiably over the top. This year's rumble did not require that she leap into his arms and squeal with the excitement of a kid rather than the woman she was, but Emma didn't care. She felt so light and free with Killian, and when things were good, she wanted to enjoy how good they really were. Life lived like this was a breath of fresh air, and the cherry on top was when she was back on the ground, still in his arms, and he leaned down to kiss her exactly like the conquering hero did in every romance book she'd ever read.
"Okay, okay we get it. You love each other. No need to give us all a show."
Anna's words brought Emma back into the present, and she knew that a blush had crept over her cheeks at the mention of love, but she didn't back down. Instead she shook her head with feigned censure, and told Anna that she did want a show. If she didn't she wouldn't be so nosy all the time.
"Fair point," Anna confessed with a shrug. "But since I'm turning over a new, more mature leaf, might I suggest hightailing it out of here? A little birdie told me your Mom is like thirty seconds from popping up."
"Well we could wait…" Killian offered, not wanting to rush Emma, even though he knew by now what her parents' appearance would mean. They had said hello and spent a little time with them earlier, but a second meeting would no doubt be longer than the first. Her mother would talk both of them to death, and at the same time she'd thoroughly squash the mood that celebratory kiss had just sparked in Emma.
"Or we could save ourselves and run," Emma said, pulling him along with her as she cast a goodbye over her shoulder to her friends. "Love you guys, see you tomorrow."
Anna and Elsa waived goodbye after them, and, through some stroke of immense luck, Emma and Killian managed to get out of the fair grounds without being spotted by the leaders of the Nolan clan. The rest of the town certainly saw them, and Emma noticed the looks that each neighbor cast their way. What surprised her though was the softness she saw there – people had largely accepted Killian, and they seemed really happy for the two of them. That acceptance made Emma happy. She didn't need it, but she was glad for it. It would hopefully make the whole telling him he was the one and convincing him that this was a forever kind of thing that much easier.
"So, now that you've gotten me alone, what's the plan, love?"
Killian's question rumbled from his chest, washing over Emma with a trickle of seduction. He wasn't even trying to do anything, but Killian was just too hot for her to fully function. She closed her eyes for a second, grounding herself in this and in him, and then she opened them and told him what she wanted.
"Take me to your place."
Her request made Killian's eyes widen, but she knew he wasn't surprised. Over the last few weeks the heat between them had only been burning hotter and brighter, but despite some kisses that blew her away, and despite the tantalizingly distracting feel of his rough but also gentle touch, Emma and Killian hadn't taken things to that next step. She'd been ready for it, aching for the chance to be alone with him and make some of her more vivid fantasies real, but Killian had been taking things slowly. Tonight, however, Emma didn't want slow. She wanted to go all in, and she wanted to now.
"As you wish."
Emma's heart thumped loudly in her chest as they walked, hand in hand, from the park where the festivities had been through the town towards his cabin. By the time they reached the woods, Emma's anticipation was at record levels. Her whole body was swimming with desire, and she could barely contain it. She knew Killian was aware of it too because his jaw had gone hard but his blue eyes were molten every time he looked her way. He seemed seconds away from sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her, and she would have welcomed that, especially in the moment where she got so distracted that her foot caught on a root that was sticking up slightly from the ground below.
Before Emma could hit the earth with a loud and painful thud, Killian had pulled her to him, cradling her in the warm and strong embrace she'd come to love so much. Somehow her back had ended up at his front, but their bodies were aligned perfectly even like this. The breath rushed out of her, and her body had to play catch up for a moment. She had braced herself for a fall, but it simply hadn't come, and she blinked away the adrenaline before realizing that they were in another stretch of woods she knew very well…
In the moment just before waking, Emma already knew that she was not where she should be. The ground beneath her was hard, though the grass licked lightly at her skin in a soft and pleasing way. The air was too fresh and too pure for her to be at home and in bed, and the smells around her… she was definitely outside, and that meant it had happened again. She'd had the dream, and she'd left the house as she slept, completely unaware of what she was doing.
Blinking until the early morning dawn didn't hurt her eyes so badly, Emma's first sight was the canopy of the trees she'd ended up in. They were giant pines, tall and proud and ever growing, and while they would be considered beautiful and tranquil at any other time, right now they spiked only fear in Emma. She was outside again, presumably alone out here in the elements, and she didn't know how to stop it.
Rising from the ground, Emma noticed how covered she was in dirt. It climbed up her legs from her bare feet, tore at her clothes, and no doubt smudged her face and her neck as it did her hands and arms. She was a mess right now, and the one thing she remembered most from the dream was the howl of a wolf. It was loud, defiant, but also familiar, and Emma could feel it still reverberating through her, as if she herself had made the sound instead of hearing it in a dream.
Making her way through the woods, trying to remain unseen by anyone who might happen to be out at this ungodly hour, Emma tracked back through the dream. The foundations were the same. It started with that night at the hospital. Two wolves – one good, one bad, fighting over her. She was trapped, she was scared, but then she wasn't. The midnight one seemed to care for her, to protect her, and then the dream would morph. Suddenly she wasn't in Boston anymore, she was in the woods, these woods.
She also wasn't Emma anymore at this point, at least not really. Her point of view was too low, her movements so different than if she'd been walking or running on her own. She was aware of so much – too much – and the darkness of the world did nothing to deter her. She could see everything, feel everything, and she was totally in control. She'd made her way through her favorite groves, tracking and running, and then at the end, she'd made it to the river and she looked into the water only to see another wolf. This one was so different – a pale, almost white coat making the beast look amazing and other worldly, and it was this animal that howled, this revelation that pushed her mind from sleep to wake.
Even now, Emma didn't know what to make of all of this. Why was there a new wolf when she'd been battling familiar ones all this time? And what did it mean that the wolf had been where she had been? Doctor Hopper would call this projection. Emma knew he'd explain it away as more stress, likely over choosing which college she wanted to go to, not that her parents were going to let her go. With all of this happening who could blame them? Emma was crazy, really and truly crazy and there was no hope of her ever being normal or accepted when this was her deep dark secret…
"Emma?" Killian's concerned voice broke the spell of her remembrance, and Emma shook her head slightly before looking back at him. She could see in his eyes so much love, and suddenly she felt an urge, an urge to tell him something she'd never even told her very best friends. Something her parents knew, but didn't really know, since she'd kept parts from them and from Archie. It was a moment of truth, one final test, and Emma hoped that maybe it would be the thing he needed to come forward with his own secret.
"I used to have these crazy dreams, right when we got back from Boston," she began, continuing to walk through the copse of trees towards his cabin with his hand in hers. "They were wild and exhausting. I'd sleep ten hours but feel like I never went to bed. They were all so vivid in the moment too. One second I was living this undeniable double life. It was almost more real than the world I was living in, but when I woke up I'd start to forget. The pieces would slip away, but the feelings still remained. The doctors said it was stress, but I would - I mean I used to… sleep walk."
Emma expected Killian to ask for more, but when she looked back up at him he remained quiet. His eyes were fixed on her, his expression unreadable, but she felt a silent urging from him for her to continue so she did.
"The walking was tamer at first. I'd wake up in the kitchen or the back yard. Still close to home, but definitely not where I should be. But by the end of my senior year it was bad… really bad. My parents had to lock every door, install an alarm in a town with virtually no crime, and keep an eye out. They took shifts of who would sleep, and sometimes I still got out. I have no idea how, and they didn't either."
"And when you got out, where did you go?" Killian asked, his voice even despite the fact that she was telling him this alarming bit of back-story.
"The woods. Always the woods."
She gave him some more details of those morning memories. They were hard to speak about, mostly because they were so radically out of the norm, and by the time they'd gotten to his house Emma was starting to feel like maybe this was too much. She hadn't said any of this aloud in so long and it sounded even more bizarre to her now than it did then, but luckily Killian didn't seem off put in any way. The only thing he could see on her face was concern for her safety and something else that surprised her. It was almost like he didn't think these dreams were that insane, and she wondered how he could be so calm in the face of something so strange and wild.
"God, Emma, that sounds… frightening and more than a little scary."
"It was in a way," Emma admitted. "But it wasn't where I woke up that scared me, it was the part when I was awake again. I always had this sinking feeling that I was forgetting something, something really important. It was like something wasn't right in the light of day. Something was really really wrong, and… well I mean it wasn't. Everything was fine, and then my birthday came, and I don't know, I felt a lot better suddenly. I was a bit more settled than I had been. The dreams didn't come as much, and now when they do it's just a dream. No random relocations thrown in the mix."
"That's good to hear," Killian said, his hands running over her as much for her comfort as for her his own. "I hate to think of you out in the world and without protection. If anything ever happened to you…"
"I'm fine," Emma promised, trying to convince him that she was in fact all right as they took a seat on his couch. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me."
Pulling him down for a kiss, Emma was so relieved when Killian kissed her back. He might have felt a bit withdrawn when she'd made the confession about her dreams, but he was with her now in an undeniable way. The only problem was, that when they finally came back for air, the walls had come up again. He was sitting here, holding her close and doing that thing where he subtly protected her from the whole entire world, but she could see the difference and feel it too and it was terrible. She hated it. Simply hated it.
"I shouldn't have said all that, should I?" Emma asked, her heart hurting in her chest at the realization that she might just have fucked this up. "I messed up."
"No, Emma. You're perfect, and I'm glad you told me. Truly I am," he assured her and Emma smiled at the words, knowing he meant them even if he was still being weird. "You know how I feel about you. In your heart you know, but I haven't said it aloud yet because… because I've been keeping something from you."
Emma's heart constricted in her chest even though she had known this was coming. Killian had a secret, something he'd been guarding all this time, and if she knew him as much as she thought she did, it was something he'd probably never told anyone at all. Yet even with the sadness she felt that he had kept something from her, it wasn't distrust that settled within her. She only wished to help him and to alleviate his pain. Whatever it was, he was so worried and she couldn't do anything to help until he told her. She moved closer, her hand coming to rest over his heart, which was beating so fast it must be painful, and then she made him a promise she knew he had to hear.
"Whatever it is we can face it together. It's you and me, okay?"
A moment passed where Killian didn't say anything. He seemed caught up in something, a memory if she wasn't mistaken. For a moment it was like he wasn't there, but Emma instinctively reached out to him, taking his hand. When they touched he was instantly back with her, and his eyes shone bright with a need to be with her.
"You and me, right?"
"Always."
Hearing him say that made Emma breathe easier. Whatever was happening in his mind right now, there was no hiding the truth, and Killian still wanted this. But as much as she had been willing to give him time before, Emma's patience had grown frail. She felt like this weight he was carrying was the only thing left between them, and she wanted so badly for him to let it go. If he did they'd be free to just… be, and as strange as that sentiment was, Emma's instincts told her that they needed that. She knew he wasn't going anywhere, but whatever secret he was harboring, he needed to share, not just for her sake, but for his as well.
"There's something about me you don't know, love. I'm…"
Killian trailed off, and Emma knew that they had finally reached the moment of truth. She had literally no idea where this was going. Killian had kept this guarded for weeks. It was the only part of him she hadn't had access to, and she needed it even though she felt a tiny bit of fear. Why was he so hung up on this? Was it really so bad? She just wouldn't know until he said something.
"You're…" she prompted, her eyes searching his face which was clouded with worry. Then his words came so quickly she almost didn't hear them.
"I'm a shifter."
"A shifter," Emma parroted, and though she didn't understand what that was, the words came out less as a question than a statement. The term sparked the remembrance she had back at the clinic a few weeks ago, but she shook her head, knowing that couldn't have been real. It must mean something. Was this a fetish or something? No, it wasn't. It couldn't be. She'd have sensed that red flag early on. But whatever it was, this part of her, deep down inside was suddenly excited and elated for now explainable reason. "I don't know what that means."
"It means… actually, it's probably better if I show you."
Taking her hand in his Killian brought Emma to sit on the couch in his living room. It was a strange thing to do, but Emma knew it was because whatever this was, it was so big he thought she might fall from the shock of it. Meanwhile the word kept bouncing around in her head. Shifter. Shifter. Shifter. She tried to fathom what this was, and if her old, probably made up memory could be accurate, but then she was distracted by Killian moving back across the room and pulling the shirt he was wearing over his head. Emma was not expecting him to strip down in front of her, and despite this being a very serious moment her eyes honed in on his muscled physique. A thrill coursed through her as more and more of him was revealed, and when he was finally down to just his briefs she found her words.
"Killian, what are you…?"
She trailed off when Killian took a deep, steadying breath and then, well, shifted. Like shifted from a man into a wolf in a split second. It was the craziest thing she'd ever seen. One second he was there, for a fleeting moment there was this transition that happened so quick you would blink and you missed it, and then there was this animal – a huge, black wolf, standing where Killian had just been. The animal was poised and powerful, and then his eyes opened and Emma instantly recognized them and him too.
"Holy shit! Holy shit you're a wolf!" she said, her voice coming out harsh with the emotion of the realization. "Killian, you're my wolf! Oh my God Killian, you're my wolf! The wolf from the alley… the wolf from my dreams…"
Killian let out a low whine in his animal form, and though Emma wasn't exactly fluent in large, wild canine speak, she knew it was a signal that she was right. It completely amazed her that any of this was happening. Now she knew why Killian had her sit down for this reveal. She was dizzy from the shock of it, but she also had this intrinsic need to get up and be close to him. She was fascinated by his coat and color, by how large his animal was, and of course the fact that he could turn into an animal at all. But before she asked those questions, and before she addressed how the hell any of this was possible, she moved across the room to where he was and hesitantly reached out to touch him.
When her fingers made contact with the warmth of his fur, her whole body filled with the most wonderful feeling. It was somehow more consuming than their first time meeting, and finally she knew that the last piece of the puzzle was solved. This was the secret Killian was hiding. This was the truth he'd had to keep hidden, and God what a beautiful, amazing, and magical truth it was. Emma's eyes actually misted up at the fierceness of all the she felt, but she kept the tears at bay to try and speak her thoughts aloud.
"I don't understand how this can be real. You're a wolf – sorry, a shifter – and you saved me. Back in Boston…"
Now Killian did return to himself and Emma jumped at the transformation, more from surprise than fear. No, there was nothing like fear here at all. She felt completely safe with Killian still, but she hoped he would fill in the blanks so her mind could truly comprehend all she'd just seen.
"Aye, I did, love." She knew it was him, but it still felt good to hear him say it. So all this time she hadn't been crazy. There was a wolf, and somehow, someway, he'd found his way back to her.
"Wow. That's so… crazy," she said for lack of a better descriptor. "What are the odds?"
"I'd say about one in a billion," he replied and she laughed, the sound pitched higher than normal from the bevy of emotion. Killian, for his part, stepped closer to her, testing the waters but finding Emma didn't need any space. She moved towards him too, and reveled in the feel of his arms around hers.
"And you found me again. How did you do that? Did you track me or something?"
"No, Emma. It was all instinct. I had the urge to come to Maine for years now, but I finally gave in after resisting so long. I didn't realize what we were to each other when we first met, but my wolf knew subconsciously you were out there somewhere in the world, calling to me."
"And what are we to each other?" She asked with a breathless sense of wonder. She knew that her tone spoke to a true yearning to know, and that she was holding nothing back. Right now she was an open book, but it felt only right since he was just as open with her.
"We're what's called fated mates, love. In my world it's normal. All shifters have their perfect partner, their other half, and you, Emma Nolan, are mine, just as I am yours. Bonds between humans and shifters… well I've never heard of one happening, but it could be the reason you had those dreams and felt those things. It could be our bond, just working in more mysterious ways."
"Oh thank God," Emma said with genuine relief finally it was Killian's turn to look confused. He must not understand her thoughts on this, so she tried to explain them. "It's just I'm totally crazy about you. I wanted you from the first second I saw you and I feel like you're the one. It's good to know that's real. It's not just my mind playing tricks on me."
"It's real," Killian murmured, his hand coming to cup her cheek, sending a zing of awareness through her already sensitive flesh. "It's the realest thing I've ever known, the surest love that can ever be found."
"Love?" Emma asked and Killian nodded.
"Love. I love you, Emma. For now and always. For this life and every other, I love you."
Hearing that was the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to her. Knowing that she and Killian were destined to be together was amazing, but to hear that he loved her… it just filled her so completely with joy that she was at a loss for words. She jumped further into his arms, wrapping herself around him as she kissed him with all the passion that she had. He mirrored those feelings and that desire so perfectly too. They were wholly connected and on the same page and Emma had never felt better in all her life. She was finally alive, finally getting the chance to know the best that happiness had to offer, and she never wanted to let go. But of course, ever the responsible and reasonable one, Killian realized there was still more to be said. Before they could get too carried away, he pulled back, and when she looked at his cerulean eyes, she saw he still had things to explain, things she needed to know.
The story of his life, as a shifter and as a man, came easily then. Killian let it all out, every last part, leaving no detail unaddressed. Emma listened to everything he outlined for her about his past losses and heartaches and his life as a shifter. He talked about the pull of the full moon each month and the mating bond that would come when they finally came together. He talked more about shifter culture and the devotion he'd always have to her and the family they might one day make together. Then he explained how their case was one that he never imagined possible – there were no known cases of shifters and humans being fated pairs, but that didn't make him any less sure. He showed her his mark and she in turn showed him where hers had appeared, at her hip. She wrote it off as weird reaction to something that would fade away in time, but then she looked at where she'd touched him, and she marveled at their perfect set of markings.
"Wow… just… wow," Emma said, smiling to herself as she continued to hold onto him. "Wait, you just told me you're a lone wolf now but you called it something else…"
"A rogue," Killian replied and he watched as a connection formed in Emma's mind.
"That's what Graham called you that day at the diner… oh my God, Graham has to be a shifter, right?"
"A wolf, like me," Killian confessed, sending Emma's mind in a dozen directions. How could he have hidden it? Who else knew? Then Killian dropped another bomb she never expected. "He and Tink are the only other shifters in the direct vicinity."
"Oh my God Tink too?" Emma asked, her eyes widening. "That's so cool! Is she a wolf also?"
"A lynx," Killian said, before explaining to Emma that there were dozens of shifter species the world over, some more rare than others.
"I can't believe you guys manage to keep it a secret…" Emma said, but then her stomach clenched as she thought back to that memory. It had to be real and not a dream like she thought, and that, given everything Killian had said about rules and the council, was not a good thing. "But Killian, I think my parents know. I mean they might… I have this memory of a mountain lion at the clinic and my Mom saying the word so… maybe?"
"I don't know about your mother, love…" Killian left the rest unsaid.
"But my Dad knows, doesn't he?" Emma didn't need to ask. His face said everything, and it also said he felt terrible not coming right out and saying so himself.
"I think it's best to ask him yourself."
"God this is all so much. I never imagined this, but somehow I feel like I always knew. Is that normal?"
"It's our mating bond," Killian informed her. "It's strong already, and it will grow even stronger if you choose to be mine in every way."
"Oh I'm definitely choosing you," Emma said, completely sure of herself and Killian actually hummed out a sound of approval, that sent waves of pleasure through her. Holy crap, that was hot. Was that a shifter thing? Or just a man who really really wanted her to love him? "I love you, Killian, and I want this. More than anything."
"That makes two of us, love. But this is fast, especially given human custom. What I've told you tonight is a lot to process and I need you to be sure. There's no going back once a mating bond has been sealed so we can wait as long as you need. The full moon this month is tomorrow, but I would wait forever for you."
"And if I don't want to wait?" Emma asked, her heart pounding so loudly at even the thought of mating with him. She wanted it so badly, but she also felt the severity of his words. This was a huge step and an even bigger commitment, and that was something to at least sleep on for one night.
"I will always do everything in my power to see you happy, Emma. You have my word on that." She nodded, glad for his loyalty and devotion that he made apparent with every word and touch and look he sent her way.
"I think I need to talk to my parents," Emma confessed after a few moments of internal musing. "Or at least my Dad. But I do want this, Killian. Nothing you told me tonight changes how I feel. I knew that I would love you forever before I knew everything, and I still feel that way. I'll always feel that way."
"I trust you, Emma. More than I can say. If you say you're ready then I'll believe you, but have a night to think on it. Tomorrow if you feel the same, you will find me and we'll be together, and if not I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere."
"Let me guess, this is the part where you say goodnight," Emma said, sighing in a dramatic way they were both used to by now. He was ever the gentleman, and though she knew they could spend the night together and not go too far, Killian would never dream of attempting such a feat. "There isn't anything I can say to convince you otherwise is there?"
"Not tonight, love. I know it's not easy, but it's how it has to be. I can't trust myself not to take all I want. I'm only so strong."
"I get it," Emma acknowledged. "I don't love it, but I get it."
"Soon enough it'll be tomorrow," Killian said, but then he tilted his head and adjusted his words. "I lied. It'll never be soon enough. I want you every second of every day."
Her heart melted at that and Emma pulled him in for another kiss, this one soft but slow and languid. It was peaceful but resiged, and still she hoped he could feel her love in it, because she really did love him. So so much.
"Until tomorrow then," Emma said, trying to capture his slight lilt and Killian laughed shaking his head.
"Uh, no, love. If you think I'm letting you walk alone at night you have another think coming. I'll see you home and safe, just as I always do."
And with that, the two of them set out back to Emma's house, where they did, regrettably part ways. But though she had so much more to consider and to talk about with her father, Emma knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that tomorrow they'd come together for real. It was time for them to be one – to be mated as he called it – and as she fell asleep that night, Emma's dreams were filled with the magic Killian brought into her life, and hopeful visions of what might be when they were truly and totally together at last.
Post-Note: So there we have it – Emma now knows about shifters and true mates and pretty much everything. I have purposefully left some vagueness about how much of Killian's past he has talked about though, mostly because the flashbacks haven't revealed it yet. Regardless, next chapter will be important because it's from Emma's POV. She is going to confront her father and once she has all the info (which she, and we, definitely do not have) she will make her choice. Hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter and would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much for reading and have a great rest of your weekend!