author's note: this is my first published fanfic (although it's really a songfic) in years and first one related to choices and will be a multi-part fic where each part can also stand alone. i may also end up updating the title of the entire series once completed, but for now will be using the songs featured. this story takes place in the middle of chapter 13 of a very scandalous proposal. there aren't any real plot or story spoilers in this fic, but if you want to be extra cautious not to be exposed to any part of avsp before you read it, then i recommend you ignore this.
**i also recommend you listen to the song "rewrite the stars" (even better if you watch the scene from the movie - link included below - or have seen the movie) to better get into the emotional mindset of the story.
copyright: all characters are owned by pixelberry studios. song/lyrics are from "the greatest showman" soundtrack, performed by zac efron and zendaya. i do not own any of the above.
series/pairing: a very scandalous proposal, during chapter 13 - simon montjoy x mc
rating/warnings: PG; no warnings
word count: 2,145 w/lyrics and 1,780 without
based on/prompt: "rewrite the stars" from the greatest showman, performed by zac efron and zendaya
summary: sophie needs a break from all the stress, drama, criticism, and investigating and turns to her first love and passion, music and songwriting.
maybe the world could be ours (part 1, chapter 1)
sophie knew she was supposed to go to the blythe suite and search around for clues but at the moment, she couldn't bring herself to open the door. she clenched and unclenched her fists, stretching her fingers out, hoping to release some of the tension she was feeling. sophie could feel an itch she hadn't felt since coming to London, and knew she needed to let off some steam soon. i wonder if anyone will be near the ballroom, she wondered, biting her lower lip in thought. considering simon was still talking to his grandparents in the downstairs parlor, sophie decided to take a chance and walk back towards the kitchens that connected to the ballroom.
she took a deep breath and pushed open the first set of large double doors, closing them as quietly as possible behind her. she quickly checked that all the other doors, including those for the balcony were closed before seating herself at the grand piano in the far corner of the room. it's been too long since i've played… i should've brought my guitar with me, she thought wistfully as her fingers hovered over the ivory keys, slightly twitching of their own accord. sophie closed her eyes as her fingers finally pressed down, a melodic note echoing softly in the empty ballroom.
eyes still closed, sophie ran a few chords on the perfectly tuned piano and a small smile began to tug at her lips. her passion for writing wasn't always solely focused on journalism or nonfiction; as much as she loved pursuing the truth and telling stories as objectively as any human being possibly could, music was her first love. when the truth seemed out of reach or when her emotions threatened to overflow, music helped her process it all and she found she was calmer and more objective on the other side. she knew exactly which song would help her channel her feelings and found the composition on her phone and began playing the opening chords.
sophie could feel the prickling of tears behind her closed eyelids, hear the voices from the engagement party and the gala, see the accusatory and judging stares that she tried so hard to ignore all come flooding back. thoughts of "you'll never be enough for them, for him," "you don't belong in his world and you never will," and "you have nothing to offer him" kept running rampant in her mind as the pre-recorded male vocals on her phone started singing.
you know i want you
it's not a secret i try to hide
i know you want me
so don't keep saying our hands are tied
you claim it's not in the cards
but fate is pulling you miles away
and out of reach from me
but you're here in my heart
so who can stop me if I decide
that you're my destiny?
simon knocked on the door to the blythe suite, running his hand through his hair. he was beyond tired, emotionally rather than physically, and wanted to see sophie. if he were being honest with himself, which he was a little afraid to be, it was more of a need to see her than want. there was something about her that made him feel safe and at peace, a feeling he almost didn't recognize, since the last time he felt this safe was with his parents. he knocked again and pressed his ear closer to the door. "darling, are you in there?" the term of endearment rolled off his tongue effortlessly and he almost started wondering to himself if he wanted it to be true and real.
the tears started to spill, one by one as sophie continued to play the piano melody in time with her phone. this was a song she wrote with her high school boyfriend; ironically, the situation had been reversed at the time – he was from the "wrong" side of town and her parents made it clear that she didn't belong with him. it didn't stop them from dating and writing songs together anyway, until sophie went off to college. but now, she was of the "wrong sort" and it wouldn't matter if she was starting to have real feelings for simon – he would become a duke and inherit the estate and their arrangement would be over. sophie would go back to new york once the book was published and never see him again.
what if we rewrite the stars?
say you were made to be mine
nothing could keep us apart
you'd be the one i was meant to find
it's up to you, and it's up to me
no one can say what we get to be
so why don't we rewrite the stars?
maybe the world could be ours
tonight
where could she have gone? simon wondered, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. he went back downstairs toward the dining room; noting it was empty, he crossed through the room quickly toward the kitchens when he heard it. is that… music? it had been decades since he heard piano music outside of a ball or a party and there was only one grand piano that could be heard from the kitchens. as the approached the ballroom, he could make out that someone was singing and harmonizing with the beautiful melody. he quietly opened the doors just wide enough to glance down the large room at the singer playing the piano in the corner.
sophie took a breath, trying to will the tears to stop so her voice wouldn't tremble as she prepared to join in on the second verse. she couldn't help thinking about the gala and all the hurtful glares and remarks, even if she wasn't a social climber, she was guilty of using simon's position to further her career. in some way, all of her critics were right.
you think it's easy
you think i don't want to run to you
but there are mountains
and there are doors that we can't walk through
i know you're wondering why
because we're able to be just you and me
within these walls
but when we go outside
you're going to wake up and see that
it was hopeless after all
sophie? she was angled in a way that he could barely see her profile, but he knew it was her. what he didn't know was what a hauntingly beautiful singing voice she had. he couldn't help but open the door a little wider so he could take her in. her eyes were closed but the passion on her face was as obvious as daylight as was whatever pain she was feeling in the moment. she is radiant, he thought warmly. he closed his eyes as well so he could listen closely to the lyrics.
when it was just the two of them, it was easy to forget the rules of the aristocracy and the judgments that came part and parcel with titles and secrets. if only they could live in the hopeful peace they felt the day they shared at the children's center. she would do anything to see that version of simon all the time. the realization that she was falling hard for simon, and fast, was starting to feel suffocating. sophie took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut to keep her tears at bay, with the prickling pain hitting the back of her eyes over and over again.
no one can rewrite the stars
how can you say you'll be mine?
everything keeps us apart
and i'm not the one you were meant to find
it's not up to you
it's not up to me
when everyone tells us what we can be
how can we rewrite the stars?
say that the world can be ours
tonight
the male vocals started up again from her phone and sophie harmonized effortlessly, making simon feel as though he truly was observing a duet. he stepped further into the ballroom, making sure the door closed quietly behind him. in her mind, she was dancing and swaying while singing with her friends around a bonfire at the beach. back when things were a little simpler and she wasn't falling in love with someone who was from a world that felt impossible to wrap her head around.
all i want is to fly with you
all i want is to fall with you
so just give me all of you
it feels impossible (it's not impossible)
is it impossible?
say that it's possible
sophie stopped singing and stared incredulously at the blue-eyed brit standing ten feet away from her. no, please no, anyone but him, she thought desperately, taking in the sight of someone who was simultaneously the last as well as the only person she wanted to see. she wasn't ready to share this part of her with him… outside of her family, nigel was the only one who had some knowledge of her passions (and it was limited to the fact that she could sing). muscle memory found her fingers continuing to play as she swallowed hard. the male vocals from her phone sang the last rendition of the chorus but she barely heard a word. she couldn't tear her eyes away from simon's ocean blue eyes that were looking at her with a softness she wasn't expecting.
simon opened his eyes when he realized sophie had stopped singing and was staring at him, with a look of shock and anguish on her face. he felt a little guilty that he snuck into what seemed like a private moment, but he couldn't help himself. there was so much he didn't know about sophie, and he wanted to learn all he could. simon took a breath and tried to convey his support in his eyes, all he wanted was to hear her sing again.
how do we rewrite the stars?
say you were made to be mine?
nothing can keep us apart
'cause you are the one i was meant to find
it's up to you
and it's up to me
no one can say what we get to be
and why don't we rewrite the stars?
changing the world to be ours
sophie blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things - simon was looking at her in a way that she could only describe as adoringly, and she felt a blush rising on her cheeks. she wanted to pretend simon wasn't there so she could comfortably finish the song, humming along with the end of the chorus as her fingers continued to expertly dance across the piano keys, slowing as the melody wound down. she felt calmer, as though she had finally spent the emotional energy that had been tormenting her over the last few weeks, clouding her judgment. her heart didn't feel as clouded and heavy and she looked up from her hands at simon as she sang the last verse, trying to convey her feelings through the lyrics.
you know i want you
it's not a secret i try to hide
but i can't have you
we're bound to break and my hands are tied
as the song ended, simon took a hesitant step toward the piano, his eyes never leaving sophie's face. sophie felt her heart race and tore her gaze away. she could feel herself start to panic at the thought of having to explain her music or her feelings to simon. she started fiddling with her phone, scrolling through the compositions she saved for other songs as simon slowly approached the piano.
"that was beautiful, sophie. i didn't know you played," simon said softly.
sophie took a deep breath and brought her gaze up to his. "there's a lot that you don't know about me. and this is something i don't like to share with anyone."
simon drummed his fingers on top of the piano, looking thoughtfully. "you don't have to explain yourself to me and i'm sorry if i intruded. your voice was so captivating, i couldn't help myself. i hope one day you'll trust me enough to share more with me. and i do want to learn more about you, it's just things have been a bit…" he trailed off, trying to find the right words.
"hectic? crazy? awkward?" sophie chimed in, the corner of her lips hinting at a smile.
simon laughed. "all of the above. but hopefully soon, when this dies down, we can…" he trailed off again as he looked at her smile and hazel eyes that were still twinkling from laughter. his gaze softened as he continued, "share more with each other."
sophie blushed and looked shyly down at the hands in her lap. "i'd like that," she replied.