CHAPTER 8: Transcendent Nature

ANs:

Title is from the line "For effective magic is transcendent nature" by George Eliot, Middlemarch.

Chapter inspired by the quote "I'll remember you, your smile and your lie" by Randolph Randy Camp, 29 Dimes: A Love Story.

Isaiah's poetic discourse is inspired by Frank Lima's "summer (a love poem)" written in 1969.

The hour long trip to Severus' house was made in silence. When they arrived, Severus showed Isaiah to the guest room.

"You can stay here for as long as you need."

"I go back to school in a couple weeks. I planned on moving into student housing. That's what I was paying for earlier today."

"Yes, well." Severus left him to unpack.

When he ventured out half an hour later, he found Severus in the sitting room nursing a drink.

"Thank you for letting me stay."

"Does anyone else know?"

"About the fact that I used to be a prostitute?"

Severus glared at him. "Yes."

"No."

"You have an actual job. I don't understand."

"It's minimum wage. And I've only had it for two years. I needed something legal on my CV. You need experience to get a job, which is daft because you can't get one without one. It did cut back on my other activities when I got it but there is no comparing the money. I don't actually want to sell my body for the rest of my life. What was my other option? Stealing? I would rather it."

"What are your future plans?"

"Finish school. And if things don't work out between us, then I'm back at it until I can get a better job."

"You haven't been…"

"No, not since we started sleeping together this summer. Figured you were the monogamous type. I didn't want to seem like I was going behind your back."

"And if we broke up…"

"I already have an established client base and I'd rather not start over. I've left it for a while to see where this is going. But if not, then I will go back. I don't want to graduate with a shitload of loans due. I graduate next summer. I'll either go on to a Master program or get a regular day job. Go on the straight and narrow."

"How many...never mind."

"How many people have I entertained you mean?" Severus nodded. "About three hundred."

"That seems low, if you've been doing this for five years."

"A lot of repeats. More than half of the tally is from when I first started. I also don't count the ones that just liked to watch me touch myself."

"All men?"

"Oh no, women are just as perverted!" He laughed. "A lot of husbands are not satisfying their wives."

"You're bi?"

"Nope. Straight for hire. I don't mind the female form but it doesn't get me off."

"Then how do you…"

"Fuck them? I'm a teenager. Toast can get me hard. I also have an active imagination and can act well if I say so myself. It's a lie that men can't fake it."

"I wasn't aware that a man could in fact fake an orgasm."

"Of course, especially when the other person is having one. People are selfish. As long as they think you got off, they don't look for evidence."

"Have you ever faked it with me?"

"No."

"You could be lying."

"Yes I could, but at this point, I don't see why I should bother."

"Right."

"How many people have you killed?"

"Pardon?"

"I told you how many I've fucked for a price. Your turn. How many people have you killed? When was the first one? How did it happen?"

"I was sixteen. I've lost count. I got into the wrong crowd at school. You had to prove your worth by doing something extreme."

"So you ganked some asshole? Was this group a bunch of mercenaries or was it just you?"

"Just me. The rest, well, some of them were just as bad if not worse than the people I've killed."

"Then why did you join them?"

"I had nowhere else to go."

"That I understand."

"Yes, we have that in common. Uncaring parents, shitty childhoods, questionable life choices."

"How did you get out?"

"Why do you think I did?"

"Well, you're a teacher now. You have this place. You're pretty normal. I would know, I can spot the bad ones easily, part of the trade."

Severus laughed cynically. "You would. And you are right. I got out."

"How?"

"The leader of the group was killed, no one took over. I was free."

"That's a load of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"Gangs don't just fall apart because the leader kicks it. The second rises to command. Or there is internal fighting for the position. Either way, an entire group doesn't stop existing because one person dies."

"Pardon me, I keep forgetting you have street smarts."

"If you don't want to talk about it then that's fine, just don't treat me like an idiot. I'm not one of your students."

"I am not able to tell you everything. But you are correct. I had help, a rival group, if you will, their leader helped me avoid incarceration when everything fell apart. There are members out there still walking free, still doing the same things as before but they have money to pay for their freedom. I did not."

"Wait, is this the favor the headmaster of your school did?" Severus just looked at him. "It would make sense, you said he did you a favor and so you teach at his school. Like penance."

"You are exceptionally observant."

"Am I right?"

"Yes. The Headmaster has many connections."

"How did you meet him though? Seeing as he was the leader of the other gang?"

"He was my headmaster when I attended school."

"You teach at the same boarding school you went to as a kid? The same one you attended when you first killed someone? Did he know then? I'm assuming there were other students involved. Skulls and Bones Societies always have roots in posh schools."

"He suspected."

"Wow. And you've been on the up and up since then?"

"Yes."

"How long has it been then?"

"Sixteen years."

"Bloody hell. Aren't you an inspiration!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, you were into some crazy shit as a kid but got out. It's inspiring."

"You know, I can help you. You won't have to go back to…"

"Soliciting?"

"Yes. I have a bit saved up. I can pay for your schooling."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't like owning anyone. It's bad enough that you're letting me stay. I'll earn my keep. I'll cook, clean, and garden. Whatever. I can also pay you the rent I was paying at the hostel."

"Don't be absurd. You're not paying me rent. And I am quite capable of cooking and cleaning for myself."

They stayed in silence for several minutes. Then Isaiah dropped to the floor on his hands and knees and crawled towards Severus. He stopped in front of his chair and started rubbing his legs and thighs, inching his way but was stopped roughly.

"Let me," he purred and resumed moving his hands to undo Severus' trouser button.

Severus jumped up, letting go of his drink which fell to the floor, glass breaking, auburn liquid splash across the carpet. "No," he snarled as he pushed Isaiah away. "I'm not one of your customers. Get up!" Isaiah jumped up and moved back but was grabbed by the shirt suddenly. "I'm not letting you stay here in exchange for sex. Don't you dare think that!" He'd never seen Severus so angry.

Isaiah twisted his wrist and got out of the hold. "What else do I have to offer? Why else would you let a homeless whore stay in your house?" he yelled.

Severus stumbled back as if struck. "Izzy…" his voice was strangled. He let out a loud sigh. "I love you."

"What?!" Isaiah blinked furiously as if trying to get his brain to register his words.

"I love you."

"Oh," he sat on the couch gobsmacked.

"It doesn't make sense. We don't see each other often enough, and we obviously don't know each other well as proven by tonight, but I feel this pull towards you. Always have. I love the you that I've gotten to know and I'm sure I'll love the you that you'll show me without the lies and half truths."

"I…"

"You don't have to say it back. I already know I'm a fool for falling for someone so young."

"No, it's not that. I just…" his voice trailed off, small, unsure, almost scared.

"What?"

"I don't know what love is."

"Then let me teach you." Severus sat next to him and held his hand.

Isaiah stared at their joined hands for several minutes. Without looking away from them he spoke. "I don't know what to offer you besides my body. I'm so fucked up."

"What do you think you can give me then? Besides your body? I'll take it. I'm a greedy man. It doesn't matter what it is. As long as you only offer it to me."

"I don't have anything."

"That's not true." More silence.

"If you want me, really want me." Severus nodded. "Then I guess, aside from the pleasure of my hands and lips," he paused to kiss Severus softly on the lips. "I offer you my vociferous sanity. My plutonian past. The brilliant pain of a fustian future full of dreams." Severus smiled widely at that. "I offer you me, at this moment, however I may be."

It had been a couple of days since the big L word was tossed about and the couple settled into a routine. Severus woke up one Saturday morning to Isaiah plating a massive breakfast.

"I've told you, you don't have to cook."

"I know, Sev. I like cooking for you. You can do the washing up."

They ate in silence until Isaiah spoke up.

"Now that I'm technically staying here for a bit…."

"You can live here."

"Yes, well."

"Sorry, I interrupted. You were saying?"

"I have a question."

"Sure," Severus was curious now.

"What's up with the medieval lab in your cellar? It looks like something that the Weyward Sisters would have."

Severus choked on his toast. "What!?"

"You know, from Macbeth. 'In the caldron boil and bake, eye of newt and toe of frog, wood of bat and tongue of dog, adder's…"

"Fork and blind-worm's sting,' yes - I know the play. How did you get down there?" Severus asked, surprised.

"Uh, the door." Here Isaiah twisted around in his chair and pointed to the door. "It's right there."

"You…" Severus just looked between him and the door.

"Sev?"

"You can see the door?"

"Well yeah, it's right there. I didn't touch anything, I swear. I was just getting the lay of the land while waiting for the bread to bake earlier. I'd never been down there in all the time I've been over. I'm sorry if I overstepped…"

"No, it's not that. You can really see the door? And you opened it? Went downstairs?"

"Yes," Isaiah said the word slowly in three syllables. "What's going on? You're weirding me out more than the pickled eyeballs you have down there."

"It's just, I can't believe this. You...Izzy…"

"Did I just break you?"

"What?"

"You're not saying complete sentences. And stop looking at me like you've never seen me before. Just tell me what you're thinking."

"I will. Just, please, don't overreact. Stay calm. For me."

"Me? You're telling me not to freak out? This has to be a big deal? We've been to animal sacrifices together, and you've met Mother. What could possibly top that?"

"I'm a Wizard."

"Say what now?"

"I'm a…"

"I heard you the first time."

"I thought you might need to hear it again."

Isaiah shrugged and went back to his food. "I'm been told worse."

"I believe that."

"So, you think you're a wizard?"

"I don't think. I know."

"Right. Sorry. And that," Isaiah points to the cellar door, "is your wizardly lair?"

"Potions lab, actually."

"Potions lab," he repeated with a nod. "Alright, then," and he picked up the newspaper that was laying on the side of the breakfast dishes and calmly started reading the headlines while chewing.

"Izzy?"

"Yes?" he looked up.

"You don't have any questions?"

"Not at the moment, no."

"Why not?"

"You seem to want to keep it a secret. That's okay. You are entitled to your privacy."

"You don't seem shocked."

"It shouldn't be surprising that you're into the occult considering how and where we met. Though, I haven't seen anyone use actual cauldrons in their craft before. Then again, the things I do know are African based. Is it a wiccan thing?"

"My Potion's lab has nothing to do with the occult."

At that he put down the paper. "They are not religious articles?"

"No."

"Interesting," he mumbled to himself. "Then, if I had to guess, based on the ingredients I recognized, it's some sort of homeopathy laboratory. I always thought you were too scientifically minded to believe in natural remedies."

"Izzy, I'm being serious. I am a Wizard."

"Of course you are."

"I don't think you believe me. Look, promise you'll keep all this a secret. I can get in trouble for showing you."

"I'll take it to the grave," Isaiah said indulgently.

Then Severus pulled out a long wooden stick from his sleeve and with a wave the dirty pans on the hob made their way to the sink and started washing themselves.

"Shut up!"

"Do you believe me now?"

"I believed you before. But you didn't say you could do actual magic! What's with the stick?"

"This is my wand. And what do you mean by actual magic? Have you seen it before?"

"Oh yeah. I've just never met anyone else who could do it too, it comes in handy not getting caught by coppers. I don't use it often, didn't want to get caught and cut open by the government trying to figure out what kind of mutant I was," and with a wave of his hand the tea cozy turned into a kitten which Isaiah picked up and started petting.

"You're a Wizard!"

"Really? Cool."

"I thought maybe you were a Squib since you could see the door and didn't feel any magic coming from you."

"What the hell's a squib? Sounds rude."

"A non-magical person born from magical parents."

"Why do you think I have magical parents? Mother can't do stuff like this."

"You look nothing like her. I long suspected that she's not your biological mother, but I didn't want to offend you or pry. I can't believe you have magic."

"I thought it was more like a mutation, like X-Men."

"You're not a mutant."

"Too bad."

"You're eighteen."

"Sev, are we back to that again? I thought you were getting over my age."

"No, I mean yes I'm over it. I meant, you're eighteen, you should have gone to Hogwarts."

"What's that?"

"It's a school for magic."

"No shit."

"I wonder why you didn't get an invitation when you were eleven?"

"Wait, did you go there? Is that where you teach?" Severus nodded. "So you don't teach chemistry then?"

"No, I teach Potions."

"That explains the cellar."

"I don't understand why you didn't attend?"

"Why would I? I didn't know it existed in order to apply?"

"One does not apply. There is a magical artifact that writes out the names of magical children in the country. You should have received an acceptance letter when you were eleven."

"Nope, no letter. It would have been nice to know I wasn't the only one though. But now here you are."

"I don't understand," Severus murmured.

"You're not wrong by the way."

"About what?"

"Nia isn't my biological mother."

"You're adopted?"

"Not really."

"Fostered?"

"More like foundling."

"I need you to start from the beginning. Anytime I learn more about you, you never start from the beginning."

"It's now your turn not to freak out. This stays between us."

"I promise."