(A/N: This takes place after 'Dreams of What Could Be' but before they get on the boat to Ith.)

It was nice to be able to take a bath without worrying something was going to try to kill you the moment the armor was off. Privacy was also something often sacrificed. Indeed, Guts hadn't had bathes like those in a while.

He unlatched his metal arm and set it on the towel he brought.

"I probably need to clean that too." He muttered to himself, noting the accumulation of grime on its surface. That would be for later he decided; something to keep him busy so his mind didn't wander to Ca-

Guts shutdown that train of thought.

He finished undressing and started to wade into the spring. It was surprisingly warm and soothing on his muscles and still healing wounds. Guts sighed contentedly when he was up to his chest, the water making his tired limbs feel lighter. A little farther into the spring and he realized he's not alone.

Casca, newly returned Casca was staring at him, a mixture of surprise, fear, and maybe guilt? They made eye contact and Guts forced himself to look away when she made to cover herself. He'd seen her naked, bathed her enough times while she was in her regressed state, hell, he'd made love to her, so why was she bothered by him seeing her? He wouldn't hurt her, not intentionally, she must know that. But he had already hurt her, and so had others, she had every right to act this way. It still bothered him.

She hadn't spoken yet, which also botherd Guts; if she wanted him to leave why hadn't she yelled at him to do so? It was one of the biggest changes, her lack of decisiveness. Her take charge attitude was muted and Guts wasn't sure if it was a temporary thing or something more permanent. If only his past self could see him, missing her bossy-ness. His commander…

"I'm sorry." He said finally, breaking the silence like a plate thrown to the ground. "I didn't know anyone was here, I can come back-"

"Wait." He was already moving toward the shore when he heard it. Her voice, barely more than a whisper he thought he imagined it, "Wait." She said again, louder. He could feel the ripples from her movements as Casca drew closer.

He stopped in his tracks, but didn't dare turn around; as much for his sake as for hers. He stood very still as he felt how close she was, close enough for the heat radiating off her to reach him.

In the time following her awakening she had lost most of her fear of him, combining the version she remembered well and knew, to this new one she didn't. Where her regressed self had seen a scary monster, Casca could see the broken man who loved her.

They had touched before, but it had always been warm, comforting, not at all heated, even the kisses they had shared were chaste, to the forehead or cheek. All of it fully clothed. Now they were in magic spring, bare as the day they were born and Casca was touching him. With her fingers she softly traced the scars on his back. His skin tingled when her hands left and burned where she touched.

"You've bled so much." She said, hands still moving. Guts was frozen in place, unable to move, much less talk. "Why?" She asked.

Then she hugged him from behind, her body flush against his. He could feel her breasts pressed to him in exquisite detail which didn't at all help stop the blood rushing to his lower regions. Did she know what she was doing to him? How her actions were affecting him?

She kissed one of the many scars on his back, shocking him back into focus.

"Do you know what you're doing?" He asked, voice thick. Guts hesitantly touched her hands that were wrapped around his middle.

"You didn't answer my question." There were hot splotched on his back and he realized she was crying. She seemed to cry a lot more now, although it may be she did it in the open instead of trying to hide it. "Why would you do all of this?" She continued, "For me, a mad woman." She choked out a sob, "I'm not even yours anymore."

What was she talking about? Why wouldn't he do this? She was all he had left beside Rickert, she was his leader, his commander Casca, his lover, the mother of his child. His heart, his sanity belonged with her, to protect her.

Her bosom heaved with each sob, compelling Guts to remember when they had heaved with exertion and pleasure, from that night so long ago beneath a waterfall.

He tried to put his feelings into words, "I told you before, I love you." Guts responded shakily, trying to chase away the longing he fault for her. When thing were kept more innocent the beast was better contained, or not present at all. He hadn't felt it in a while, but now more than ever he dreaded its appearance. Lust for a woman seem to draw it out as good as any blood lust.

"Do you even know what love is?" She asked. "The Guts I knew would never say he loved me, even if he did. How do you know you don't just desire me?"

"Do you love me?" He desired her, oh did he desire her, but it was beyond that. It had always been beyond that.

Casca didn't answer. He could still feel the tears flowing from her eyes. "You're all I have left Guts." She said finally, "I know Rickert is still out there and him to some extent, but we're different. You're so different I hardly recognize you half the time." She took a shaky breath, "Before, I thought maybe we could take on the world together, carve out a sliver of happiness, but now that you actually have I realized I've been holding you back this whole time. If it weren't for me you wouldn't be this way, things would have-"

What was she saying? It was ridiculous! He turned around and told her rather aggressively, "If it weren't for you I might as well be dead. If it weren't for you I'd still be wandering around doing nothing but survive. Hell," He laughed harshly, "If it weren't for you I would've died my first night with the band of the Hawk."

Now that the moment was over Guts could register the shock on Casca's face and remembered the reason he had been trying to not turn around, because while feeling her was one thing, seeing her was another story.

Her hair was wet, not washed yet, and still long. She didn't want to cut it it seemed, which he didn't understand. They hadn't really talked about it yet, but there had been more...pressing matters than hair cuts. And if he were honest, her with long hair was, it was enchanting. Her short hair had its own charm, but it wasn't as if he imagined what it would be like to run his fingers through it. Which he did at a surprisingly high rate especially now that she took care of it. Brushed and braided it shone like silk. He wanted her. Now more than ever, and it scared him. He didn't want to hurt her, but his self control could only go so far and right about now he was at his limit. She must know what she was doing to him.

"You fool." She breathed and he recognized the blush on her face. It wasn't out of shame or guilt, not exactly at least, but of desire. Was she even ready? Would she ever be?

Guts pressed closer almost unconsciously, "I know." He smiled, one of his special smiles reserved only for her and said, "But I'm your fool." before dipping his head down to kiss her.

It was hesitant and light, far from what he really wanted to do, but baby steps. He somehow got himself to pull away before Casca pulled him back to her. This kiss had more fire and the next one even more so. As the kisses became more daring, so did their hands, roaming each other's bodies.

She kept surprising him; for the longest time Guts thought he'd never see another lucid smile from her, and now he was holding her in his arms kissing the daylights out of her. Maybe they would get a chance at a hundred times.

As it was Guts wanted to take her right there and then, but she had yet to address his erection. It's not as if it wasn't there, if she wanted him wouldn't she-

As if reading his thoughts she grabbed him, breaking the kiss to whisper hotly into his ear, "I'm impressed at your willpower, this is what you were wanting, right?"

He let out a groan at the feel of her hand. The last time something like this had happened… years, definitely years ago, during a time when dreams and nightmares blurred into reality, and he hadn't even finished properly. He might finished right there, but something bothered him about her words, "Is this what you want?" He some managed to articulate.

She let go of him, a relief and worry for him, "I- Yes."

He met her eyes before asking, "Yes?"

Casca took a breath, "Yes." She affirmed.

How was this real, Guts thought, How this happening? The beast had yet to show up, his own issues seemed to be resolved, and Casca, didn't seem to have the same problem. In fact she seemed to be enjoying as much if not more then he did. This was unreal, and yet…

Totally real, this was actually happening. His brain stopped working, much like with battle. Focusing only on the task at hand, which as making love with Casca.

Yes, baths in Elfhelm were something else.

…

"Wow." Casca sighed as they lay on the shore in the afterglow.

Guts didn't respond with words, just a contented groan that reverberated throughout both of their bodies. After a few more moments he asked, "Are you… How are you…" Okay was what he was trying to ask, but Casca seemed to understand.

"I'm not sure." She responded, "I should have trauma, well I did, but… I just don't think about it."

"You don't think about it?"

She nodded, "When I start to, I think about happier times."

"And that doesn't make it worse?" In his experience, all happy memories did was make the bad ones worse. It made the fall all the longer.

"I've only been back a week, I don't know how this'll work in the long run."

"But this was good. For you."

"Yes. and it makes you happy."

He scoffed, "You don't have to worry about my feelings. I-I've grown used to-" Not having what he wanted in life, was what he was going to say, but that wasn't fair to her. He didn't want to guilt her, because none of this was her fault. "Restraint." He finished weakly.

Casca looked at him sadly, "Since I've been back you've been very kind. Even from before… you were trying your best. You don't have much experience as a caretaker."

He didn't respond at first, mind running. "I'm sorry for what I am. I'm selfish, but I wanted to bring you back even if you hated me. I think part of me wanted you to hate me, because that would make my options easier."

"I'm a reminder aren't I?"

"The best kind." He kissed her for emphasis. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She paused, thinking, before answering, "When I said earlier I wanted children… I meant it."

"What do you mean?"

"I- I really want children, and to have children I would needs to lie with a man."

"So you're using me?" He chuckled although he didn't find the thought very funny. Was she that heartless?

"Yes, but Guts I don't want anyone else's children. I want yours."

"...Mine?" He didn't really want kids, at least not right now, it was too dangerous. But the way she said it, it made him feel almost proud. It also scared him to think about such things. Sure he'd thought about it, but only in an abstract way, not in the 'you just did the things that makes babies with the with the woman you love' way.

"I love you." Casca said as if it explained everything. In a way it did. "I don't think I've ever said that out loud." She admitted.

Guts smiled, "I hope you can have your children. I'll do everything in my power to help with that."

She seemed to be blushing, "Thank you."

"However, we need to solve somethings before it's safe enough."

"I don't think it will ever be safe enough." She muttered, "And there is only one way to guarantee no babies. I don't want to take that option."

Neither did Guts, but it really wasn't the best time to deal with a baby. "We'll be traveling with others, so maybe that will make it easier."

"Are you going to tell them about us?"

"I- Do you want to?"

"No."

"Me neither." Good, they were on the same page. He was just a private person, didn't need other people to know everything about him. Casca was similar, and it must've already been weird to have other people she knew, but also didn't, know her so well.

"We should probably actually bath soon, we've been here a while."

He nodded, but didn't make an attempt to get up. Neither did Casca.

He was glad they were on the same page.

(A/N: not as edited as it could be, so, sorry. wrote this before I wrote the rest of most of these, so some of the ideas I dropped. I'm not entirely happy with it, however for me being a virgin (as in, never even been kissed) I think I handled some of the more… risqué scenes well.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but these one shots are like, the happiest I think it could go, the actual canon is probably going to be much darker (especially because I just ignore the beast of darkness most of the time, yeah I just don't know how to deal with him. Like, I feel he needs to be conquered before Guts can be with Casca, but I also feel that that should be towards the end of the story and I want the lov'in to be from the the start.) also Casca is almost definitely going to have more trauma then I portray. Berserk is such a sad story, that I find it more fun to write about happy events. I've definitely taken the optimist's route.