"If & When" by Doomtree

At the end of the night, Murphy offered to walk me home. I confirmed it was okay with Caleb, Tyler, Jess, and Adam before we left. The nights were getting colder again. I shivered a bit, standing closer to him for warmth. Murphy put his arm around me, smoking with the other one. He put it out when we reached my apartment.

"Guess this is good night then," he said, letting go of me. I turned to face him. I had been debating whether or not I would be bold and kiss him first. Looking at him again was all it took to convince me. I grabbed his shirt, pulling his lips to mine. Without hesitation, he pulled me closer, one hand going into my hair, the other at the small of my back. I knew it wasn't the whiskey. I just wanted him.

I struggled to open the door behind me and not pull away from him. As soon as I got it open, Murphy picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and shut the door behind us with his foot. He carried me over to the couch, keeping any space between us small. My hands went under his t-shirt, sliding it up over his head, and onto the floor. He sat back slightly, looking down at me.

"What the fuck," his eyes darted up to the kitchen. I followed his gaze. Someone was standing there. Instinctively, I knew it was Aidan.

"You fucking whore," Aidan swore, lunging for me even though Murphy was still on top of me. Murphy was faster, rolling off of me while throwing a punch at Aidan's nose. He managed to twist Aidan's arm behind him, struggling to get him over to the door to throw him out. I moved more quickly than I had thought I would in a situation like this, opening the door so Murphy could throw him out.

I locked the door behind him. We heard Aidan stand, swearing, and then walk away. We stood at the door for a few moments and then I started to cry.

"I'm here, love, ye've got nothin' to worry about," he said, pulling me close to him and stroking my hair. I didn't really know what I would have done if he hadn't been here. Eventually I calmed down enough to stop crying. I have to get a new apartment. The thought made me tear up again.

Murphy led me back to the couch, making me sit, and disappeared into the kitchen only to return with a glass of water. I took a sip of it, my hands shaking. "Thank you," I said softly, staring at the cup of water as if it were going to give me whatever answers I needed right now.

He put his hand over mine, causing me to look at him. His light blue eyes were a mixture of emotions, looking more intense than usual. I'd be throwing myself at him again if I weren't so shaken up. "I'm not going anywhere," he answered before I even figured out how to ask. I relaxed a bit.

"I'm going to have to find a new apartment," I sighed. Finding a place to move into quickly wouldn't be easy. That would cut into the time I have to work on stuff with the guys since it can't cut into time I work on my thesis.

"Ye can stay with us until then," Murphy offered. "It's not much, but it's not here."

"Wouldn't that be weird?"

He shrugged. "I like ye, Cecilia." He squeezed my hand. "I just want ye to be safe."

I gripped his hand tighter, gently kissing him. "I like you, too, Murphy."

"Aye, I got that," he said with a smirk. I couldn't help but laugh. I went and got ready for bed, washing my face, brushing out my hair, and changing into shorts and an oversized t-shirt. I opened the door once I was done changing to go find Murphy. He was outside smoking. I stepped out onto the balcony with him, keeping close to him for warmth.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"

He nodded, flicking some ashes off of his cigarette, looking out at Boston. Even though it was silent, it wasn't uncomfortable. I just liked being near him. He finished his cigarette, coming back inside with me. He double checked that everything was locked before following me back into the bedroom. I took my shorts off before getting into bed. Murphy motioned to his shirt and jeans. I nodded. He took his shirt back off, then his jeans, and socks, until he was just in his boxers. He slid into the bed next to me, putting an arm around my waist. I settled against him, falling asleep nearly instantly.

I woke up first the next morning, though still in Murphy's arms. I smiled slightly, moving in closer against him. I just felt so...safe. He eventually woke up, holding me a little tighter when he did. I glanced up at him.

"Good morning," I greeted. He smiled, moving closer to kiss me. Just as the kiss began to deepen, there was a knock at the door. Murphy groaned in annoyance. Though I was fairly annoyed myself, I laughed and kissed him once more before getting out of bed and putting on my shorts. I answered the door. It was Connor.

"Looking for Murphy?" I greeted, stepping aside when he nodded. Murphy came into the hallway, pulling his shirt over his head. He looked very annoyed. And I imagine he was by the tone of his voice as he spoke in a language I didn't recognize to Connor. I shook my head, going into the kitchen to start some coffee. Siblings. They can work it out for themselves.

"Pause the bickering a second," I called over my shoulder. "Coffee for everyone? Breakfast?"

"Aye, love, that would be wonderful," Murphy replied.

"Alright, resume," I smirked to myself, filling the pot with water the whole way and then dumping it into the reservoir and turning it on. While the boys resolved their issues, I made breakfast. They wandered into the kitchen just as I was buttering the final piece of toast. "Mugs are up there."

Murphy got three mugs down.

"There's sugar and, sorry no creamer, but there is milk in the fridge." He opened the fridge.

"This is almond milk," he said, confused.

"I don't drink regular milk." He stared at me dumbly, then at Connor.

"It's pretty common around here," Connor shrugged. I poured myself a cup of coffee, black, and sat at the table in my usual seat. Murphy eventually decided to just try the milk in his coffee. Connor took his with sugar. "Murphy told me what happened last night. Yer more than welcome to stay with us. Our place isn't as nice though."

"As long as I'm not going to be coming home to my ex skulking around, I'm happy with that."

There was a few moments of silence before Connor decided to be cheeky.

"So you and Murphy," he grinned with a wink.

"Oh shut up, Connor," Murphy said indignantly, throwing a piece of bacon at him. Connor pretended to be offended.

"I was just trying to find out her intentions with my brother." Murphy looked like he was going to murder him. I took the opportunity to throw one of my own pieces of bacon at Connor. Connor looked shocked while Murphy just started laughing, reaching over to high five me, holding my hand lightly afterwards.

"Aye, you got him good, love! " Murphy grinned at me. I smiled at him, studying his face, and forgetting that Connor was even there.

"Alright, alright lovebirds," Connor interrupted. "We should probably pack some of ye stuff up, lass." I let go of Murphy's hand, trying not to feel disappointed and nodded. I had the boys pack up my guitar, portable keyboard, and the sheet music scattered around as well as my books. I tackled my clothes and accessories first, then makeup and general hygiene supplies, my yoga mat, and finally shoes.

"I think that's it," I said as I handed Connor the last bag of my clothes. The boys took the majority of the bags as we walked to their apartment. It wasn't very far from mine, about twenty minutes of walking, but we were sweaty and tired by the time we reached where they lived. I recognized it as one of the areas that illegal immigrants squatted. Rent was cheap, but the interiors were questionably inhabitable. It worried me a bit, since I didn't know if there would be room for two brothers and a girl in there.

When Connor opened the door, it wasn't as bad as I thought. There was a kitchen area, a table, a couch, a slightly outdated TV, a toilet and shower, and two mattresses on the floor. There were a few things I'd add to the place, but I could definitely manage to stay here. I could feel the boys watching me as I kicked off my shoes, dropped my bags by the door, and went and fell on the couch dramatically.

"I'm done for the day," I declared. Connor laughed while Murphy looked relieved.