This chapter is a long one so I've decided to break it into two parts. That way I still keep to my chapter limit in a way.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs used in this chapter. And hopefully I got all the words to the first one right as I didn't look them up (I listened to it while writing)
Key; "Normal speech" "Phone speech"
5.1
Bryan was at a loss. For a week and a half he tried and failed to get Mathilda's spark back, their roles seemingly reversed. Getting her settled had been challenging, memories of the tiny apartment too much to bear. They weren't easy for Bryan to face either but right now, he couldn't afford to just up and move. He just didn't have the money to do it. Things were made worse by Mathilda being unable to eat much, not because it made her sick, but due to how much it hurt just to swallow. Bryan stayed by her through it all, unaware of the strain it was really taking on her mental state.
On a Sunny Friday afternoon, Bryan was in the kitchen preparing some soup. While he pottered about in there, Mathilda came to a painful decision, one that was likely going to wound both of them even more. Being careful not to make a lot of noise, Mathilda packed the few belongings she had into a wheeled suitcase, hiding it if Bryan ever came to quickly check on her. Satisfied that she'd packed everything, Mathilda crept hastily to the front door, slipping on a pair of flat bottomed shoes and her favourite shawl. Two steps out the door her entire plan backfired in the worst possible way.
"Mathilda where are you going?"
Rosy pink eyes widened in shock, turning around with painful slowness. Bryan stood a mere few paces away with the most heartbroken look on his face Mathilda had ever seen. He didn't understand. What had he done wrong? Why was Mathilda leaving with her things? Did she think herself undesirable now? That Bryan wouldn't want a woman who couldn't speak anymore? Everything Mathilda wanted to say went unsaid as she turned around to resume her departure. Panic set in and Bryan acted without thinking.
Mathilda found herself spinning on the spot quite suddenly, her partly open mouth smothered in a kiss of desperation. Unable to control himself properly, Bryan's hold on Mathilda was uncomfortably tight but once she relaxed against him, so did every voice in his head that screamed not to let her go. Mathilda realised now she'd been a fool. How often had they just sat in silence together? There were countless days and nights where all they would ever do was smile at each other. Bryan didn't care if she could sing the most beautiful song or in her current case, was rendered completely voiceless. All that mattered to him was having her near. Pulling out of the kiss was a gamble, but it was one Bryan would just have to take.
"Don't you dare take another step." He panted while running his shaky fingers through her hair. In return she tenderly brushed his cheek, a little too conscious that people might be watching and it showed. "You're not worthless, Mathilda. Don't even think it for a second that you're nothing without a voice. We'll get you help I promise. It'll just take a little time that's all. Please come back inside. I don't think I can bear to be alone again. Not anymore."
Bryan hadn't said it directly, but really, he didn't have to. Because his eyes and actions confessed more than words ever could. With tears streaking down her face, Mathilda pulled him down for another kiss. He wasn't great at it, but that'd change in time. Rather than smooch outside all afternoon, Bryan lifted Mathilda onto his hips where he felt her legs instinctively clamp around him and grasped the handle of her little suitcase to pull it back inside. Neither of them cared to unpack it, too caught up in the unspoken confession to care, collapsing onto his bed heavily. While Mathilda couldn't deny that she loved Bryan, she wasn't ready to go all the way, making sure he knew where his boundaries were. But why did she feel guilty all of a sudden? There was nothing to be guilty for.
Bryan didn't press if Mathilda moved his hands to somewhere she was more comfortable with, much more interested in kissing the hell out of her. Their food wasn't done yet so he had plenty of time to maul his mistress. It felt like a huge weight had suddenly left his shoulders now the feelings he'd kept hidden were out in the open. He simply couldn't stand to think of a life without Mathilda in it. She'd become his world. With care not to brush her neck, Bryan dove hungrily for her tempting collarbone, giving petite hips an affectionate squeeze. Why was he making it so hard for her to abstain from intercourse until marriage? She couldn't help being old-fashioned in that regard. It just didn't feel right to partake in love's sweet sin before standing at the altar.
Feeling he might be stimulating Mathilda a little too much, Bryan pulled away and allowed her to have a little wander of her own, his tear-soaked shirt discarded off to one side. Now they'd learn just how much teasing he'd be able to take before it became unbearable. Mathilda's first point of interest was Bryan's neck, latching onto it with unexpected ferocity while her hands cruised a line down his chest. He was by no means muscular but at least had more meat on him than when they'd met. His pulse ran wild to her kissing along his jaw-line.
Mathilda got a considerable moan out of Bryan when her tongue darted across one of his surprisingly dark nipples. Both sensitive tips were noticeably sticking out, telling Mathilda she was doing something right. He whimpered when she pulled away briefly to see the look on his face. He'd gone bright red and felt very hot to the touch.
"If you really wanna keep me off of you, maybe stop being such a good tease eh?"
A coy smile crossed Mathilda's lips, telling Bryan she wasn't done yet. His blush darkened when Mathilda put herself in the dominant position just like she had all those months ago.
Dinner passed without incident and Bryan sat Mathilda down afterwards to massage her shoulders. Admittedly she was way better at using her hands but he got no complaints. Mathilda repaid the favour, going straight for Bryan's feet. It had been too long since he felt such heaven, sadness drowning him when she finished. The mere act of simply rubbing his tootsies tired Mathilda greatly so Bryan set her down to rest. Her old bed was only used for afternoon naps now unless Bryan also wanted or needed one. She just couldn't sleep on her own for long periods of time anymore. Watching Mathilda sleep took Bryan back to times where he'd been too sick to get out of bed, kept company by his adoptive mother. He recalled she would sing to him and it'd make him feel better. Thinking that was just what Mathilda needed, Bryan got straight on the phone to someone, getting an answer after four rings.
"Yeah the fuck do you want scamp?"
"Bro, have you still got that old acoustic guitar?"
"Since when the hell did you start calling me bro? Ugh. I think I saw that old dust bucket around here somewhere. Why are you asking anyway?"
"Bring it over here and you'll find out fuck face. Don't bother knocking, the door's open."
Bryan hung up before he could receive a verbal lashing for his attitude, waiting eagerly for the item he requested. Half an hour later Spencer helped himself into the building, promptly clouting Bryan upside the head. He didn't have to look hard to see his little brother had been crying again, Mathilda too. For the next ten or so minutes Bryan sat cleaning and tuning the guitar to make sure it sounded perfect. He was probably going to suck but oh well.
Spencer was curious now, sitting eagerly on a sofa but before he could get comfortable there was a knock behind him. It was Salima calling surprisingly. Spencer let her in while gesturing that she be quiet. Bryan had his back to the door and seemingly hadn't heard it as he started strumming away.
The sound of strings being plucked drew Mathilda from her slumber, seeing Bryan sat not too far away with the guitar on his knee.
"After all the broken stones that were thrown
For no good reason, inside
She is loving him still, after all this time
And though her heart bears the scars
No sign of healing, it's alright
She is loving him still, after all this time
Trying to push the past away
They're still waiting for their lives to change
But she'll try, try for the sake of their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the pain
The thicker the skin the less the strain
Though it's really hurting, she ain't breakin', breakin' breaking
'Cause she's loving him still, after all this time
Now he knows, his weakness shows
Selfish soul, never changing
That's fine
Well 'cause she's loving him still, after all this time
And to the outside eye, you see a family getting by
And it all seems perfect, that's how she wants it
'Cause she's loving him still, after all this time
Ooh, trying to push the past away
They're still waiting for their lives to change
But she'll try, try for the sake of their pride, pride
Learning to barely feel the pain
The thicker the skin the less the strain
Though it's really hurting, she ain't breakin', breakin' breaking
'Cause she's loving him still, after all this time
After all this time
After all after all after all this time"
Spencer and Salima sat in shocked silence. When had Bryan got so good at singing? In the back of her mind, Salima found the vague memory of him being in the school band until he got pulled out. But back then he was into heavier stuff. Probably still was. Mathilda seemed enthralled by the words, feeling that they somehow correlated to the bond between her and Bryan.
Bones have to grow, and age it shows
Though they try and hide it, inside
She is loving him still, after all this time
And behind his tired eyes, she sees the boy with his arms wide
Made her feel like an Angel
Hoo that's right
She is loving him still, for the rest of her life
She is loving him still, for the last of many miles
She is loving him still, after all this time."
With a few final strums, the song ended. Bryan hung his head low, unable to really believe he'd just actually sat down and played for someone. On top of that, he hadn't lost his touch. The sudden sound of clapping behind him made Bryan snap around, eyes wide in shock.
"How long have you been sat there?!"
Salima chuckled into her hand, loving the embarrassed look on Bryan's face. He wouldn't have minded just Spencer listening given the giant had been invited over before hand. Bryan truly felt violated, vacating the room hastily to calm his racing nerves. All Spencer could do was laugh heartily. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been sincerely amused.
"Good one lass. Never seen Bryan run so fast in all my years. He'll come around, you'll see. Can't say I recognise his song choice, though."
Salima tucked a loose strand of hair behind her left ear, eyes shining knowingly.
"I'm pretty sure it was After All This Time by Simon Webb from his album Sanctuary. How long is he gonna take to cool his jets? 'Cause I gotta be home soon or my ass is toast if I'm late for dinner again."
Spencer could relate to that. He missed those good old days, messing around in the dirt with Bryan and getting a fly in the ear from their mother for coming home late and filthy. Those days seemed so far away now and he wanted to go back, even if it was just for a few hours. Bryan came out of hiding within ten minutes thanks to Mathilda giving chase and cuddling the hell out of him. She didn't want Salima getting into trouble because she'd embarrassed him.
"Well now we're all present I can give you all the news. The old school rock band is getting together for a little fundraiser event in a few days and I wanted to invite you guys along. It really won't do for you to stay cooped up in this apartment all the time."
Hearing that is was specifically his old group made Bryan very antsy. He tried to avoid anyone and everyone that went to the same school. Would he be received kindly after so long? Bryan doubted it. Mathilda didn't understand why Bryan wasn't happy to go and see all his old school mates. Could him dropping out have something to do with it? Asking wouldn't help even if she could speak. Bryan dodged any and all questions about his school days.
Salima left the venue address with Mathilda in case she and Bryan decided to go, figuring Spencer wouldn't be too far behind. She went home afterward smiling from ear to ear. Bryan heaved a sigh of relief with her gone. If Salima knew what was good for her, she'd keep her mouth shut about what she'd seen. Spencer didn't stay much longer, saying something about having to open up shop soon. Much as Bryan loved his adoptive brother, he wanted him gone so that Mathilda could have him all to herself. His voice too is she so desired.
The following Monday, Bryan took Mathilda for a stroll around town to stretch their legs. And to prepare for the fundraiser on Tuesday. If time kept passing like this, July would be over before it had even begun. By lunch time the newly blossomed couple had bought some new clothes and shoes to freshen up their wardrobes. Mathilda went for all modern stuff leaving Bryan a little surprised and concerned. She'd never really liked wearing trousers and t-shirts. Dresses were fine but a rare occurrence. Reserved for special occasions it seemed. And since tomorrow was something of a special occasion, Bryan insisted Mathilda buy a new one. Looking at his watch, Bryan saw it was time to stop off for something to eat, cut off by an unfamiliar voice before he could say anything.
"Excuse me young man, do you have a moment?"
Turning to the left, Bryan saw a tall fellow with short violet hair and sunken eyes of the same colour. He looked to be twice Bryan's age, possibly older. He wasn't sure why, but something about this stranger set Bryan on edge. Mathilda took one look at him and hid under his arm in fear. She recognised this man but couldn't think why.
"What do you want old man? We're a little busy."
"I only ask that you spare a moment good sir. Forgive me if this seems a bit forward, but you wouldn't happen to be a Kuznetskov by any chance?"
Bryan froze. Well that was an awfully specific thing to ask. The unnamed gentleman could see Bryan's guard had gone up, raising his hands in a gesture of peace.
"I couldn't help but notice you have eyes that are characteristic of the Kuznetskov line. Where have my manners gone? My name is Boris Balkov."
Bryan observed the hand extended to him, deciding he wanted nothing to do with it. He didn't trust this man far as he could throw him and his distrust showed.
"Believe it or not, but the Kuznetskov's and Balkov's share common ancestry. I'm trying to find out where that connection lies."
Mathilda tried pulling Bryan in the opposite direction, greatly unsettled when Boris looked directly at her and smiled wryly. Seeing that Bryan wasn't buying anything he said, Boris turned on his heel and stalked away. This was the first time Bryan had seen Mathilda take so poorly to somebody since Ming-Ming. If she didn't trust him, he didn't either. What if Boris had been telling the truth and really was researching his family tree to find where it connected with another? Bryan had only one place to turn to for answers, not feeling ready yet to face his father again. He didn't even know if his parents had flown home yet. But if they were serious about spending time with him, they'd see sense and hang around.
Thinking on the matter too long would leave a bitter taste in his mouth so Bryan thrust it aside to focus on calming Mathilda down, all the while praying none of his fellow former students were about to cause grief. Even after so long, he remembered what most of the worst ones looked like. After enjoying a spot of lunch, the young lovers dropped their bags off at home to stroll around unburdened. Bryan couldn't shake the feeling they were being followed, looking down the street each time they turned a corner.
Not liking the idea of Mathilda having a stalker already, Bryan hurried her into a packed building and closely watched to see if anybody followed them inside. Sure enough Boris appeared a few minutes after. Using the sea of people to their advantage, Bryan made a break for the door and straight for a cab. And surprise, surprise it was their favourite cabby.
"Where to guys?"
"Home, Aaron. Take the longest route you know. I'll explain on the way."
"A'ight. You kids just buckle up and sit tight."
Glancing in the rear view mirror, Aaron caught sight of Bryan softly kissing Mathilda's hand. He said nothing, silently wishing them all the best in life. As promised, Bryan explained why he'd requested the long road home.
Monday night passed like a fleeting April shower. Bryan couldn't sleep much, concerned about the events that transpired. Come Tuesday morning he looked like a miserable panda and no amount of coffee could get rid of them. After what happened the day before, Bryan asked Spencer for a lift to the fundraiser just to be safe. It was very uncommon for Bryan to request assistance of any kind, least of all a ride and it left Spencer scratching his head.
Pulling up at the curb outside Bryan's door, Spencer saw a worrying development. Mathilda always opened the curtains first thing in the morning but today they remained shut. He'd been waiting ten minutes when he got a text asking if there was a purple haired man lingering about somewhere. Looking up and down the street, Spencer couldn't see anyone, giving Bryan the all clear. He was told soon after to have the rear passenger door open ready.
Today just kept getting weirder by the minute. What the hell had gotten Bryan's panties in a bunch? Before Spencer blinked, his car was empty. After blinking, he had two very nervous passengers buckling themselves in. Heaving a sigh he lightly slammed the door shut and slipped into the driver's seat.
"Alright squirt, what the fuck is going on with you today? First you ask me to come pick you up, I arrive to find your curtains shut and then I have to play bodyguard. Cough up you little shit."
The words had come out harsh but Bryan could see the concern in Spencer's eyes. Figuring nothing would be said until he started driving; Spencer set the car into first gear and pulled off the curb, unaware of purple eyes watching. Satisfied they were far enough away, Bryan explained what had happened the previous afternoon. Spencer's first point of concern was Bryan being asked what family he belonged to. And then being followed by the same person? That was just straight up creepy on so many levels.
Any hope Bryan had of relief went down the drain when the venue came into view. Out of one frying pan and right into another that might possibly toss him head first into the fire. Spencer hadn't really gotten a good look at Bryan and Mathilda during the short ride over, taking in just how well they were both dressed. Bryan had made a half arsed effort to look good in black jeans, a semi-tight yellow V-neck tee and a burgundy coat lined with white fluff plus matching boots.
Mathilda on the other hand looked stunning. Bryan had somehow gotten her into a flowing knee length summer dress coloured baby blue with white Mary-Janes and a lightweight soft cream cardigan fastened around her neck via a small chain. The dress itself wasn't too low cut, Bryan not wanting every Tom, Dick and Harry ogling at her all day like a bunch of perverts. It slightly hugged her figure too, showing that she had at least some curviness but wasn't too heavy at either end.
Much as he didn't want to, Bryan made his first mission to locate Salima since she'd been the one to invite them all out. She was found already on stage with some form of guitar over her shoulder. Monica was too her left and Frankie on drums at the back. Bryan didn't really care to look at the boy on stage, hooked more on the song that started to play. He didn't expect Salima to know of Paramore. Without even realising it, he ended up standing next to his supervisor.
"Kuznetskov? The hell are you doing out here?"
Bryan tilted his head to the side, more than a little surprised to see the icy eyed redhead.
"I could ask you the same old fart. Thought this kinda noise was beyond your time?"
Mr. Ivanov almost burst out laughing and Bryan couldn't understand why, cocking a confused brow. "Pah! Old fart! That's a fucking new one. I'm only in my mid twenties you little prick."
That couldn't be right. If Mr. Ivanov was only in his twenties then how was he already a trusted supervisor at Hiwatari Enterprise?
Bryan got an extra dose of shock watching Kai stroll over with two drinks in hand, passing one to his apparently younger colleague. The enterprise lord had to look twice to make sure he wasn't imagining Bryan's presence. Nonetheless it pleased him to see one of his employees out enjoying the sun. Bryan however had several questions. Why wasn't Kai at the office for one? And secondly, what the hell was he doing at a fundraiser event? A smug smile pulled at Kai's lips as he sipped at his drink.
"Is it a crime to have time off, Kuznetskov? And besides, I have more important things to do today."
Bryan was confused. Better things to do than run a multi million company? Looking to the stage he caught sight of an old band mate, noticing an uncanny resemblance between them and his boss.
"Get the fuck out of here. Gou is your son?!"
A look of pride plastered itself across Kai's features, jerking his head a little when Gou looked at him. Bryan couldn't believe it. He'd gone to school with his boss's son?! Spencer's attention was grabbed soon after, recognising the flaming redhead at Kai's side. Looked like a lot of familiar faces were going to worm out of the woodwork today.
"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. Tala fucking hothead Ivanov. Where've you been hiding you little bastard?"
Tala barely had time to pass his drink off to Kai, grabbed in a fierce headlock and tossed around while Spencer ground his knuckles into Tala's skull.
"Get the fuck off of me you hooligan! I have an image to maintain, prick."
Getting free from Spencer was no easy task, especially since nobody tried to help. Through the anger in Tala's blue eyes Bryan saw something peculiar. No, he must be seeing things. There was no way in hell that his supervisor was looking at his brother in THAT way. Spencer saw it too, teasing Tala further by leaning close to his ear while he tried to regain the composure he'd lost.
"You're just jealous that this one got away. Admit it."
From the corner of his eye Tala saw Kai snicker, adding to his already unbearable embarrassment. Why did Spencer have to see him today of all days? Between songs, Salima gave him a supportive wave which only made him go redder. Bryan too. He had to admit, she had a great voice. Seeing the glimmer in Bryan's eye, Tala caught him dangerously by the collar of his jacket snarling menacingly.
"If you so much as scratch my baby sister Kuznetskov you're fucking fired."
Hold on, rewind a minute. Was Tala referring to Salima? Realising that few people knew his relationship to the ruby haired maiden Tala pulled back and hurriedly slammed his walls back into place. Bryan honestly couldn't see the resemblance aside from the hair and eye colour.
"She's adopted." Tala provided to save any unwanted questions being asked. "Her family died in a train crash when she was young. Apparently as a child I always wanted a sister, so my parents adopted her. Now I wouldn't trade any of it for another life. She's all I have left."
Bringing up the past seemed to cause Tala some measure of pain, telling Bryan that Mr. and Mrs. Ivanov had probably died a while ago. He didn't say anything, just set a supportive hand on the feisty supervisor's shoulder. Tala wasn't ungrateful for it but shrugged Bryan off to protect his "image". Could people leave him alone now? He'd been against coming for this exact reason. Gatherings weren't really his thing.
Unfortunately Spencer wasn't done teasing him, grabbing Tala's waist in a suggestive manner and winked at him. Bryan was also having regrets, and it was because his brother seemed to be openly flirting with Tala. Mathilda was confused by the behaviour, watching it curiously. Bryan eventually tired of Spencer behaving like a horny teenager, thumping him square in the nuts and kneed him in the stomach.
"Pack it in you fucking horn dog. He's not interested."
Kai nearly spat out his drink. He'd never taken Bryan as someone to throw out insults, least of all to somebody twice his size. Mathilda fussed over Spencer as he sat slumped over on the floor but at the same time didn't pity him. Just when Tala thought his day couldn't get worse it did.
"And where did this handsome little thing come from?"
Tala's eyes twitched, recognizing the voice behind him as a strong arm wrapped around his neck. This time Kai stepped in, wrenching the tanned appendage away from his colleague, staring into the bubbly blue eyes of Max. It was Tala's turn to hold the drinks, Max tossing Kai over his shoulders effortlessly.
"Maxwell Mizahura put me down or I'll have you fired for police brutality!"
Kai's threat went ignored, Max grinning cheerfully. "Well I've missed you too short stuff. Can't I be happy to see my old friend again?"
Kai grumbled at his predicament, praying to God his son didn't see what was happening to him. Charlotte watched with a bemused grin as her big brother man-handled the most powerful man in the city, ignoring the numerous thumps to his back and chest. She hadn't seen him smile this much in years. Max eventually put Kai's feet back on the ground, ruffling his whitening gray hair affectionately.
"It's good to see you again, Kai. You're looking well."
Said lawyer muttered under his breath, snatching the half empty cup from Tala's hand when it was offered to him. Bryan tuned out to the childish adults so he could enjoy his favourite song so far, Misery Business. And Salima did it the justice it deserved. For the next half an hour they all calmed down and enjoyed the show. Tala showed clear distaste towards Stay the Night, not liking the song's implications and his little sister singing it. As he listened to each song, Bryan couldn't get over the shock of learning his brother was either straight up gay or possibly bisexual. But no matter what, he'd be there to support him through thick and thin.
When the band took a brief break, Bryan wandered off to find the toilets. On his journey back to Mathilda, trouble started. A group of young men around Bryan's age approached him and he just knew they weren't looking for a friendly discussion. From the threatening crowd came a blue haired green eyed chap, his face like thunder. He pushed Bryan hard into a burly black haired blue eyed lad.
"The fuck are you doing showing your face here, woman beater? I thought we made it perfectly clear that you're not welcome among us you fat headed freak?"
All at once Bryan found himself transported back to his school days, where these boys in particular battered him pretty badly. Salima was just resting her feet beside Monica when she cast her eyes over the crowd and saw what was going on. Without hesitation she flew over and pushed Bryan's main aggressor away from him.
"Kane what the hell are you doing?! Leave Bryan alone!"
The boy Salima named Kane looked at her in disbelief. Had she really just stood up for the former school misfit?
"Get out of the way, Salima." He growled, fists curled tight ready to strike. "I'm just putting this monster firmly back in his place. We don't appreciate woman beaters in our midst."
Salima didn't budge; instead she firmly took Bryan's hand making him blush crimson. Frankie and Monica came to his aid too, showing that they would brook no threat from anyone.
"Really Kane? After four years you're still hanging on to that lie Ming-Ming spread? All because Bryan wouldn't be a puppet to her. People like you are the reason she held so much power! Because she knew just how to wrap all of you blind sheep around her little finger! Bryan is a more selfless, caring man than the lot of you will ever be! Lay a finger on him again Kane, and we're through. You'll be answering to my brother too. C'mon Bryan. It's time you showed these monsters the real you."
Bryan didn't like the sound of that, dragged up on stage by the hand. Mathilda understood now, her heart aching. She never would've imagined Bryan to be the victim of malicious lies, unsurprised by who had spread them. It took Salima about ten minutes to convince Bryan to take up the guitar she held out to him. All eyes watched with mixed feelings, most of them anger and disgust. To make matters slightly worse, Salima decided to address everybody present.
"Ladies and gentlemen if I can just have your attention for a moment please. Before we proceed I have something I would like to say. Most of you here today might recall a foul rumour that spread around our wonderful school, one of a male student who "supposedly" battered the female populace. Eventually that young man was pulled out for his own safety. Well everyone, today I present to you the result of your thoughtless accusations."
Salima gestured towards Bryan causing him to shudder. He really wanted to run and hide now. Why'd she have to drag him up on stage and bring all those painful memories forward? He understood Salima was trying to help. But was parading him up on stage really going to accomplish anything?
"There were never any violent beatings of female students, no attempts at rape. Ming-Ming's claims were supported by nothing other than her own selfishness. But still you all blindly believed the lies fed to you. Why? How could none of you see the pain those accusations caused him? To this day I still remember watching him walk through the halls with his head held low to hide his tears. And my one, biggest regret is not standing up to help him. If I was ever given the chance to go back and do things differently, I would. I want you to ask yourselves, was making his life hell really worth it in the end? Bryan could've been so much more if only he'd gotten to finish school. So I really hope the lot of you are happy with yourselves."
Mass muttering erupted around the venue. Salima truly hoped she'd made all of Bryan's aggressors take a good long think about what they'd blindly done to him. She didn't wait for the mumbles to die down, giving Bryan a look that told him he needed to express himself, to finally be free of his demons. Together they silenced everyone with Skillet's Awake and Alive.
Bryan couldn't remember the last time he'd felt the rush of being up on stage, having somebody he trusted to have his back. Gou mirrored Salima's feelings, performing beside them with a passion Salima had never seen before. Bryan was so focussed on letting out all his pent up frustrations and pain to notice his parents arriving. Spencer had summoned them so that they too could see the result of Nikita's bullying. He hoped it would help Mr. Kuznetskov to understand the errors of his ways and become a better father for what little time he possibly had left. Salima wasn't letting Bryan away easily, insisting he stay to perform a few Linkin' Park songs.
First up was In the End. Bryan remembered that this song required a partner to do all the rapping. And the one he got surprised him. Bryan stared in disbelief at the brown eyed bluenette standing to his left. Makoto Granger was not somebody he expected either to sing or to be good at it. Neither of them missed a single beat, deaf to the cheering when they finished. Bryan nervously met Makoto's eyes, fearing that he'd merely been convinced somehow to join him. His fear was misplaced, Makoto extending a hand to him. He even hugged Bryan a little.
"It's good to see you again Bryan. And I just want to say that I am so sorry for not standing up too. Now show these guys what you can really do, how wrong they were to drive you out. Fucking rock on little dude, I got your back from now on."
It pleased Salima greatly to witness Bryan readily return the fist-bump Makoto offered.
Bryan prepared himself mentally for what the next song was going to bring forward. It wouldn't just be school issues he was about to face, Gou ready beside him.
"I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tire, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything you thought I would be
Is falling apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take!
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tire, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tire, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tire, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you."
One lone tear slid down Bryan's cheek, swapping his current guitar for an acoustic one. Seeing that Bryan's legs were a bit shaky, Gou gave him a stool to sit on. Kai never would've imagined one of his most devoted workers had been through so much, feeling that they were similar in some ways. During a brief break he heard the sound of a motorcycle pulling up. Now he was just waiting for two more faces to show themselves.
Bryan remained on stage to sing one final song before he needed to get off the stage to spare his nerves any more pressure. One More Light was symbolic for a lot of people but honestly, Bryan just wanted to pay homage to the man whose songs had gotten him through everything. Nobody uttered a word until the final chorus where they all joined Bryan in song. Not even Salima could've anticipated it. Close to tears, Bryan stepped off the stool and set the guitar down, leaving the crowd speechless again wishing for Chester Bennington to rest in peace. He was so caught up in calming himself down, Kai slipped by unnoticed. Spencer glanced around the venues, seeing stalls over at the other side, an idea coming to mind.
Asking Salima to watch his brother, Spencer dragged Mathilda gently behind him. He didn't have to voice his plan to her, it was clear as day. Immediately Mathilda was drawn to a t-shirt emblazoned with a picture of someone and the chorus to the song Bryan had just sung. Spencer confirmed that the man on the shirt was Linkin' Park's lead singer. Mathilda wanted to get Bryan something else too but didn't know how he felt about wearing jewellery. Spencer suggested a pair of leather arm bracers instead.
Mathilda wasn't getting away unspoiled either. For her Spencer picked out a pretty aventurine and rain stone butterfly necklace and a light fluorite/dark amethyst brooch that caught her eye. Something about its simple oval design reminded her of home.
All eyes moved to the stage when Still Figuring Out by Elliot Minor started playing…but it wasn't Elliot Minor performing. Bryan didn't know how to take the sight of Kai standing dead center on main vocals. To Kai's left was a man identical to Makoto, his right occupied by a long black haired gold eyed man, a bolt of white streaking all the way to the tip of his long ponytail. Max was on drums at the back and a geeky looking dude manned the keyboard.
Bryan shrugged the surprise quickly to one side, more intent on finding where Mathilda had run off to. Being told she was with Spencer did little to calm him so he went on something of a tour. And he was right to be concerned. Mathilda had somehow gotten separated from Spencer and was cornered by a group of girls, all of them bigger in some way. Fearing that she might come to harm, he hastened his steps.
Mathilda had just been minding her own business while Spencer ran to the rest rooms, looking around at the venue roof when the gang of women started pushing her around. What did they want? Why were they looking at her with such anger and disgust?
"Now girls." Hissed the clear lead female, eyes holding no warmth. "I think it's time we showed Ms. No-breast what happens to unattractive girls who parade themselves around here. Who would want a girl like you anyway huh? You're so skinny you'd probably snap just touching something."
Try as she might, Mathilda couldn't find a way out of her situation…until Bryan barrelled through the ring of bullies to pull her close. Watching him checking Mathilda over for injury infuriated the ring leader and she pulled him away harshly.
"Why don't you come over here and fuss over a real woman, sweetheart? Don't waste your affections on that fake little tramp."
Bryan's stomach churned, wrenching his hand away from the self proclaimed "real woman" and leered at her. "If you're that desperate, fuck off to the grocery store and find a vegetable."
Bryan's suggestion clearly hit a raw nerve but he didn't give the girl chance to say anything, his arm firmly around Mathilda's waist to keep her safe.
"I have my real woman right here. At least she doesn't dress provocatively to flaunt her figure unnecessarily. She has no need to pad her chest to look bigger. If you're going to call someone fake for being natural, go look in the mirror first."
Mathilda clung fearfully to Bryan's side, distracting him briefly. Only now did he see the paper bag on her arm. So she'd been doing a spot of shopping while waiting for him?
"Sure you're probably every man's dream on the outside but inside? You've shown just how hideous you are by tearing another woman down for being slimmer and in my honest opinion, prettier. I wouldn't change a single thing about this girl. Because to me, she's beautiful outside and inside. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't even be here right now."
Did Mathilda hear that right? Why would Bryan not be here if she hadn't been in his life? She didn't understand at all. But one thing was crystal clear. Bryan wasn't leaving for a better endowed woman. He wasn't that shallow. The other girl opened her mouth to try and speak but she got cut off again.
"Save your excuses. You put my girl down because you know that you'll never be as beautiful as her. Now fuck off back to your sugar daddy so he can kiss your boo-boo better. I don't want to catch you near her again unless it's to apologise like a decent human being. C'mon darling everyone's waiting for us."
Heat rose to Mathilda's cheeks as Bryan pulled her away from the gobsmacked crowd. Externally he looked perfectly calm but internally he was screaming, unable to fully believe what he'd just done. Did Mathilda even believe him? It wasn't always easy to know what the short pinkette had on her mind. Bryan always thought it was because of his issues, that he hadn't been equipped to learn a woman's mind.
Salima saw right away that something had happened, Frankie and Monica too so Bryan told them. No point hiding it if others saw through him. The girls did what they could to counteract whatever negative effect Mathilda's experience had just spawned, telling her she was beautiful, that every girl was made perfect. The things said to her spoke volumes as to how the other girl had been raised.
Bryan allowed his mind to wander a little. Ming-Ming hadn't been much different to Mathilda's attacker. One's appearance mattered more than the person they were inside. Now he was just glad Mathilda had been nervous of trusting her, fearing that she would've been put down sooner. And by somebody she trusted no less. Perhaps later he could erase any doubts Mathilda had? While still being respectful of her wish to abstain of course.
Somebody calling to him distracted Bryan from the stage, finding it was Gou who tried for his attention. And it seemed like somebody was hiding behind him because one of Gou's arms was almost twisted behind his back. Bryan turned fully to look Gou dead in the eyes, refusing to back down. Seeing that the slightly shorter teen wasn't going to run made Gou smile.
"Well somebody found his balls since I last saw him. You can relax, Bryan. I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanted to say I'm sorry too. For not doing the right thing when those rumours starting circling. Maybe if I had…you would've gotten to finish school like the rest of us. Father has told me all that you've done for this girl, for a fellow employer even. I had always wondered who cleaned my office so diligently in the wee hours of the morning. Never crossed my mind it might be you."
If possible Bryan went white as a new sheet, seemingly shrinking in Gou's shadow. It made sense for Gou to work at his father's company. But he didn't look much like a lawyer if Bryan was being honest.
Gou frowned to his arm being tugged, retorting by pulling a pink haired gold eyed girl out into the open. She looked like the black haired fellow who was currently still up on stage. Bryan would bet all his money that the two were somehow related, father and daughter most likely. Her hair was long and braided, stopping behind the knees. But why had Gou brought her over to him? Was this girl one of the sheep ensnared by Ming-Ming's lie? She looked terrified. All her attempts to pull Gou away failed.
"Gou, why are we here? What are you talking to…to HIM for?"
"Rin." Gou sighed, a hand running through his wildly spiked hair. "I've told you a thousand times that Bryan didn't hurt anybody. The rumours about him beating girls were simply that; rumours. Spiteful ones at that. What I'm doing is apologising for not standing up for what was right. Are you really going to stand there and tell me he's beating his girlfriend?"
Rin challenged Gou's stony glare with a fierce one of her own. Mathilda's cardigan shifted, allowing Rin to catch a brief sight of the bruises on her arm from a week ago. And her silence wasn't helping either.
"If he's not beating her Gou, then why is she hiding bruises from where he hit her? Why is it she's stayed silent the entire time if there's no abuse going on where nobody sees?"
Anger and hurt were the first feelings Bryan felt. Angry that he was still being accused of abuse. And wounded because Rin had spoken with such conviction. Gou seemed well aware of why Mathilda didn't utter a word and would've turned Rin to face him if he didn't hear the sound of somebody getting slapped, hard. Mathilda stood with her hand still raised, eyes burning ferociously while Rin nursed a red cheek seemingly in shock. Realising she'd been un-ladylike again; Mathilda hid her face in Bryan's coat. Rin wasn't convinced to the sight of him pulling Mathilda into a gentle embrace.
Trying to argue his innocence was a waste of speech so Bryan simply walked away, supporting Mathilda as he went. Now where had his brother run off to? It was high time they went home. His nerves were starting to fray more courtesy of Rin's accusations. Spencer materialized after being sent a message, his face riddled with guilt. He took the duo home without argument.
During the ride, Bryan wondered if Mathilda was merely pretending to love him, that she feared for her safety. Did she feel trapped with him? Afraid that he'd hurt her for refusing his affection? Bryan had struggled for years with image issues, always bullied because of his receded hairline. And now he was starting to really question if the woman he loved found him even slightly attractive.
Mathilda went straight for the kitchen once home leaving Bryan to trail behind at his own pace. Spencer watched him go, wanting badly to say something, to reassure his little brother that Mathilda wasn't so shallow to judge a man by his looks. Knowing Mathilda's habits, Bryan ventured to the kitchen, finding it empty but the kettle was on. She wasn't in the bathroom or his bedroom, meaning there was only one other place for Mathilda to hide. Bryan knocked softly on the drawn folding screen and waited for it to move aside.
Tears clouded Mathilda's pink eyes, some already falling down her soft cheeks. Seeing she was already upset made it harder for him to start asking questions. But he had to know one way or another, wiping the tears away with his thumb.
"Mathilda, do I scare you? Have I ever given off the impression that I might…that you'll come to harm if you refuse my advances? Am I even attractive to you? I'm not…I'm not strong, charming or even that good looking. And I've been…tainted. No matter how much I clean I still feel filthy. I'm impure…imperfect and you deserve better than I can give you."
Mathilda had so many things she wanted to say, reassurances that despite all Bryan's imperfections he was the man she wanted. Yes there had been times where he scared her, but never for long. Never had she feared coming to harm by his hand. Bryan had apologised profusely for bruising her the day she tried to leave, insisted she hide them to avoid the very accusations thrown at him anyway. Mathilda hated that she couldn't speak, resorting to actions instead.
Bryan jerked away to her touch until she cupped his face in both hands. He refused to make eye contact, feeling undeserving of her gaze. Thinking now would be the best time, Mathilda handed Bryan the bag she'd been carrying all afternoon. He stared at it in confusion. Why was she giving him this? While Bryan pondered whether he wanted to look inside or not, Mathilda gently guided him to his room. Bryan's hands shook as he reached into the bag, feeling fabric under his fingers. Mathilda could only hope he liked the shirt now in his hands, a fresh wave of tears racing down his face.
She helped him to put it on, relieved to see it fitting perfectly. Next she helped him to put the bracers on, only now noticing they were emblazoned with a band logo. Bryan couldn't find the words to express how much he loved Mathilda's gifts. She pulled him close, pressing his head into her shoulder where he cried. All Mathilda could do now was wait for Bryan to calm down, rubbing a soothing circle on his quivering back. She didn't let him go for even a second.
He sobbed about not deserving her or anything she did for him. Mathilda's hold tightened to hopefully make him see she wasn't going anywhere. When it sounded like Bryan was all cried out, Mathilda got him to look at her, his eyes red raw. She pet him lovingly and he leaned almost desperately into the hand stroking his hair, too tired now to fight, whispering a shuddered apology into her palm.
Mathilda made sure his eyes were on her, hoping she would be able to properly convey her feelings. Bryan had never been good at lip reading, watching as Mathilda's lips formed words but emitted no sound. What was it she said? "You're perfect" and "I love you"?
In case he'd missed it, Mathilda mouthed the words again as best she could. Bryan wanted to say something, to argue he wasn't worthy of being loved but was silenced by a tender kiss. He fumbled at first, the affection catching him unawares, eventually finding the right rhythm to return it. Bryan squeaked when Mathilda pulled him on top of her, unsure what she was trying to accomplish. If getting him aroused was the goal, well she'd already managed that just by petting his head. Maybe she just wanted him close? Had put herself in the submissive position to show her trust in him? They parted for air briefly, Bryan diving down to taste her again. Mathilda let him in eagerly, her hands firmly upon his hips.
She wasn't numb to the tent in Bryan's trousers. In fact he made her perfectly aware of his arousal by grinding it against her. The contact only made him yearn for her more but he wanted to respect her wish of abstinence. There had to be other ways for them to be intimate without violating Mathilda's wishes. Before he got too worked up, Bryan pulled away and sat back. Mathilda didn't move, her legs still partly split. God she looked so tempting right now, the soft rise and fall of her chest hypnotising him.
Mathilda trembled slightly when Bryan ran a hand up her right leg. He stopped at the base of her dress, his lilac eyes asking permission to go higher. Letting him touch would be okay, wouldn't it? But what if Bryan considered it approval to go further? He clearly wanted to do more than stroke and kiss her.
"I won't do anything you don't want me to." He promised, sealing it with a kiss. "I only want to show you how beautiful you are to me."
Dare she? Did Mathilda tempt to let him put his hands all over her? Could she trust him to know true restraint? Mathilda ignored her every instinct telling her not to allow such behaviour, sliding Bryan's hand higher herself. In spite of the internal screaming for him to stop, Mathilda enjoyed his gentle touch on her skin. Bryan pulled Mathilda off her back to sit in his lap as he leaned into the pillows behind him. He could tell Mathilda had some demons to contend with, slowly winning the silent internal battle against his own. Would she comply if asked to touch him? Bryan flung the thought away immediately. It was selfish and terrifying at the same time.
But he couldn't deny wanting to know how it felt, to be stroked affectionately somewhere other than his hair. For now, Bryan forced himself to be content with what he had. Mathilda shivered to the feel of hands on her back, grasping Bryan's arms as he gently pulled her closer. There was one last thing he wanted to try, almost too afraid to ask.
"C-Can I touch them, Tilda? I promise I'll be gentle."
Touch what exactly? Following Bryan's trembling gaze to her chest, Mathilda got a rough idea what he was requesting. Why could he possibly want to touch her breasts? Shouldn't that be reserved until after marriage? Bryan saw that his request had possibly come across as suspicious, scrambling to give Mathilda a valid reason as to why he'd even asked. Did he even know himself?
"I-It's ok if you won't let me. I j-j-just wanted to know what they felt like. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
Mathilda couldn't help but find Bryan adorable when he was nervous or flustered. Maybe it was time she stopped being so old-fashioned all the time. So long as Bryan upheld the promise to refrain from baby-making activities until she was wearing his ring, a little touching couldn't hurt. And if Mathilda was being honest, she was curious about some things too.
Bryan snapped his eyes shut when Mathilda raised her hands, telling himself he deserved to be punished. He'd crossed a line and now Mathilda was going to put him into…her dress? Opening one eye Bryan saw that his head had indeed been pressed against Mathilda's torso, her fingers slicing through his unruly hair. A soft expression settled across her face, telling him without words she wasn't angry. Slowly, he raised a shaky hand to cup the breast in front of him, hoping he wasn't being too rough.
Mathilda flinched to the contact at first making him panic a little. Bryan didn't really know what to expect when he gave her breast a tender squeeze, mildly surprised at how soft it was. Quite pleasant in fact. Hoping it might make Mathilda a little more comfortable, Bryan tore his shirt away and placed her hands to his chest. She was probably experiencing all this for the fist time too. Well, she'd stroked his torso before but he'd never done the same back. Mathilda grew confident enough to let Bryan undo her dress, sliding the garment off her slender shoulders, kissing a burning trail along her collarbone as it went.
"Tell me if you want to stop, kay?"
Mathilda nodded, unable to stop herself from shaking. So that Bryan wouldn't struggle trying to get around it, she removed her bra, dropping it to the floor thoughtlessly. He didn't dive right in like she expected, instead gave the petite fleshy mounds some hands on affection first. Hearing him describe them as cute got her blushing. The air hitched half way up Mathilda's throat when Bryan started kissing her left breast, keeping a loose hold on the other. Is this what he'd felt last week when she'd boldly gone after his nipple? In his inexperience, he sucked on hers a little too hard. Taking her flinch as the sign to stop, Bryan pushed Mathilda away gently. He didn't want to hurt her again. She understood, a little let down that he'd backed down so quickly.
Oooooh what's Boris up to? Not his old tricks, surely? Nah can't be. I'm just imagining things.
Poor Tala, getting hit on by everyone. And Spencer, shame on you. You as well Max :p
Hopefully that last bit wasn't too naughty. My brain has been screaming relentlessly at me to write something a little dirtier so this is the best compromise I could think of. There will not be an outright sex scene if I can help it. Should one happen, I'll either remove from the version I upload or provide warning ahead of time.
R.I.P Chester Bennington. Another amazing person whose light went out too soon.