"Eyes of the World" by Fleetwood Mac

"How long have you been in Germany?" the camp's doctor, Dr. Fischer, asked as she took my blood pressure.

"About a month," I smiled.

"Too long to be travel sickness. You said you're having some nausea, headaches, fatigue, dizziness?"

"Yeah, I thought it was the time zone difference but it hasn't gone away at all."

"You're sexually active?"

"I have been."

"Currently?"

"Not for almost two months."

"Are you still having your periods?"

I shook my head. "No, but I'm not regular so that's not really that weird." She nodded.

"Well, it might be a stomach bug. I'm sure there are some things your immune system isn't used to here. But I'll take some blood just to be safe and make sure that it isn't something more serious."

"Yeah, that's fine." I was glad the camp had a doctor on premises. And that my boss was also a woman so she didn't mind me actually taking a bit of time off to get a checkup. Adrienne had told me she'd rather I'm healthy than digging in the dirt all the time.

"I can process this right here so I should have your results in a few hours. Are you on site today?"

"Adrienne told me not to be, but I feel better being on site. So I'll be there and she'll have to deal with it."

Dr. Fischer laughed. "No wonder she's so fond of you. You're very similar. I'll come find you when this is done."

I thanked her before going back through the camp and down the path to get to the dig. Adrienne put her hands on her hips when she saw me.

"You're supposed to be at Dr. Fischer's tent."

"I just came from there. She said she'd come find me when she knows something."

"She gave you clearance to work?"

"Not in those words exactly." Adrienne sighed.

"Go help scrub stuff. But take it easy. I don't need you passing out on me."

"Yes ma'am," I grinned, going over to one of the cleaning stations to start cleaning what they were pulling out of the ground. I was glad for the work. This was an easy task and it let me not pay attention very much so I could just take a mental break. I felt like I had just gotten there when Dr. Fischer came into the camp, looking slightly worried. She stopped to grab Adrienne before coming over to me.

"Let's talk in here," Adrienne offered up her office tent.

"You'd better sit," Dr. Fischer told me.

"Is something actually wrong?" I asked, suddenly terrified.

"Sit." I sat down in the closest chair, waiting for her to say something like I was trying to ask a question in elementary school. "Cecilia, you're pregnant. About two or two and a half months, I'd say."

I must have heard her incorrectly. "I'm sorry, I thought you said I'm pregnant."

"You are."

I felt very lightheaded as I stared at my hands. I'm pregnant. Oh god. What am I going to do? I didn't have any doubts about keeping it. I'd never give it up. Should I tell Murphy? Would that even change his mind? It probably wouldn't. I can't tell him. He'd want to be involved. That kind of life isn't good for a kid.

"Hey, hey, hey," Adrienne pulled me out of my thoughts, grabbing my hands as she kneeled in front of me. "Stay with me, McCarthy. It's okay. We're a family here. This doesn't change anything other than some more safety precautions."

Dr. Fischer nodded. "I've seen plenty of women manage their pregnancies on site before. That shouldn't be an issue until you're further along."

"And if bed rest is warranted, I have plenty of paperwork to put you on," Adrienne smiled, squeezing my hands.

"But I do recommend getting an ultrasound. I'll get some prenatal vitamins in for you."

"What about after?" I asked, trying to remain logical.

"Well, there will be a period you won't be able to work. But we'll make sure you get all the care and provide whatever we can in that period. Provided you'd still like to work with us after you're more able to. It won't be the first kid raised on a dig site. I've been on dig sites since I was born. It's doable. And possible. And I'm offering you that choice."

I squeezed her hands appreciatively. "I'd like that. I love it here and I don't want to leave."

"Don't worry. Just focus on staying safe and healthy." I nodded as she let go of my hands to hug me. "Is there anyone you'd want to call or write to?"

"My best friend. He always knows what to do," I nodded.

"Here, use my phone in the office. Take your time. Come back out when you're ready or come get me if you need anything. And I mean it. I'm not just saying it to be nice like you Americans do." I laughed, thankful that the Italian woman had taken a liking to me immediately. It probably had to do with the fact that she could tell I was Italian.

The two women left me alone. I stared at the cellphone in my hands while I decided who to call. Taking a deep breath, I entered a number I knew by heart. It picked up on the third ring.

"Hello," Tyler answered, sounding very groggy and disoriented.

"Hey Tyler," I replied, feeling very awkward about how to break the news to him.

"Cecilia?" There was a pause. "It's like four in the morning. Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry." I tried to find a way to phrase what I was thinking in a more delicate way. When I couldn't, I just blurted out: "I'm pregnant."

I heard a loud thud followed by Tyler fumbling for the phone. He either fell out of bed or he dropped the phone. I decided it would be inappropriate to ask right now. "You're what? How?"

"Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much," I replied sarcastically.

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

"I don't know. I have to get an ultrasound but the doctor here said I'm about two or two and a half months along."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I have no idea."

"I know you haven't told me everything that caused your relationship to fall apart, but I think he deserves to know."

"I'll...think about it." He groaned on the other end.

"I am too tired for you to be this insufferably stubborn." I laughed. "If I tell him to get in contact with you, will you talk to him?"

"If he agrees to talk to me, then yes." I gave him the main phone number for the camp.

"Jesus, he'll agree to fucking talk to you. Drama queen. Now I'm going back to bed. Go waddle back to work." Before I could reply he hung up. God, I miss him.

I sighed, put the phone back on the table, and went back to work.