Kakashi was a bit concerned. Normally, Hinata and Naruto entertained, their house was larger without all the awkwardness of having Sai as a host. Today, however, they were having a Team 7 dinner at Sasuke's and Sakura's minus one member.
"So," started Kakashi, "Tenzou couldn't make it?"
Naruto and Sakura nodded furiously in sync. Oh no, this was bad. Sasuke cleared his throat and said, "Orochimaru's a handful." the blonde and pinkette nodded again.
"But Yamato-taichou is off today." Sai said then added, "Are we bullying him again?"
Kakashi's eye glinted. Oh. Was that what they were doing? A secret Team 7 meeting to prank the wood-style user. Nice. Ino rapped the side of Sai's head and he made room for the food. As Hinata took her seat, Kakashi noticed that both women looked a bit miffed. He understood why. Both hosts were sitting not doing anything to help, no doubt the Yamanaka and Hyuuga would be offended.
"Thank you for the food." he said to the two and Ino scowled deeper. Hinata refused to meet his gaze. Okay. But he was a guest even if he did arrive 2 hours late. If they should be angry at anyone it should be Sakura and Sasuke! Especially Sasuke, he had been tapping his foot and causing the table to wobble the entire evening. Jumpy brat.
Naruto looked like he wanted to burst. He inhaled some food into his mouth and Hinata rubbed his back. He choked a little and Sasuke smirked. Finally, Sai had the right mind to give the man some water. He could have done it too, but it wasn't everyday when you saw your Hokage being an idiot. Well actually, with Naruto, it frequently happened, but the principle still stands.
"You!" Naruto jabbed his finger onto Kakashi's forehead protector, right over his scarred eye, "You've got to get onto The List!"
Kakashi stilled. The List? What was The List? What was so important about a list that it had to be capitalized?
"I've got to agree with Naruto on this one, Kakashi-sensei. You need to get on The List." Sakura said.
"He's already on The List. I filled him in this morning." then turning to Kakashi, Sasuke said, "Don't screw this up. The List is going public in 5 days time."
"You two will be perfect together!" Naruto clasped his hands on Kakashi's shoulders and the rest of the original Team 7 nodded, "All you have to do is not fuck this up or I'll have to fuck you up!" he said and Sakura punched him. Hinata turned away. Hyuuga's are all about turning those pale blind eyes.
Suddenly, Sai stood up and slammed his hands on the table, "No! Absolutely not. He is not right." he jabbed his finger at Kakashi. Why was everyone so mean to him today? Geez. 2 hours was common time. They should have just invited him 2 hours early. But then, Kakashi supposed, he would have figured out the actual meeting time and still been late, being a genius and all that, you know? He swatted at Sai's offending digit. Hands off, belly-boy.
"What are you talking about? Kakashi-sensei's a prime candidate!" Sakura was standing now too, the diamond on her forehead glowing in warning.
"We're on Team Yamato!" Ino stood up.
From the corner of his eye, Kakashi saw Hinata's mouth twitch downwards. Naruto jumped up and started shouting something at them, probably something stupid, and Sasuke was nodding to whatever Sakura was saying with a couple trademarked Uchiha hm's in the process. Ino and Sakura looked like they were about to fight and Sai had a scroll and brush out to Choju Giga the damn place. And Kakashi still had no idea what was going on.
Then, Hinata screamed. And everything stopped.
"Sit down, all of you, SIT DOWN!" She slammed her palm on the table, the wood splintering. Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Don't you think that Dad deserves a choice? He should make his own decisions, it's bad enough that Father and Hanabi think this is a good idea, but all of you too?"
"And you!" she whirled to face the silver haired ninja, "Say something! This is Iruka-sensei's life, his future! It's not up for you to decide."
"Maa, so what is The List?" Kakashi said.
Sasuke sighed the sigh to end all sighs. He ran his palm down the length of his face before launching into the tedious explanation of Hyuuga Hiashi and his ingenious plan to hitch up 1 Umino Iruka, village darling extraordinaire. The Chunin was really something else, there were 2 drinks named after him spanning the Hidden Villages. Currently, there was an official list of suitors for Iruka sitting in the Hokage's office. It was semi-private now, only those who were in Iruka's inner circle could fill in their nominations. In 5 days, it would be open to public.
Kakashi didn't see the logic in this, since Iruka's inner circle was the entire village plus some dignitaries from Sand and Mist from when he visited to help them set up their Academy curriculum. No, Sakura reassured him, Iruka was a bit more picky than that. Only those who have ever been on his medical 'Emergency Contact' list could recommend suitors. But Kakashi knew Sasuke wasn't Iruka's contact and Ino told him that it worked vice versa, as long as Iruka was your contact, they'd take it. Kakashi then complained that that was the problem, Iruka's the contact for half the village and certainly almost 100% of all the orphans. And God knows that Konoha has an orphan problem.
Hinata was getting more and more exasperated with the situation. Were they serious? Naruto, okay, she could understand. She knew she married an idiot. A good-natured fool sure, but a fool nonetheless. But Sasuke? Sakura? Ino and Sai? They were meddling with Iruka-sensei's life and thought it no big deal to then spin off on a tangent like her precious father-in-law's future was coffee conversation.
Earlier in the week, Naruto told her he wanted to have a sibling even if he would be more like uncle than brother with the age gap. She reminded him that he was nominating Kakashi who had less than ideal plumbing for the job. Naruto suggested 2 ideas: 1 - Orochimaru or 2 - Kakashi could get pregnant. Hinata did not want to think about test tube babies or pregnant Copy Nins so instead of reminding her husband about adoption, she went to Shino's for some peace and quiet.
Sakura said that Iruka-sensei deserved love and that she and Sasuke just wanted to him to be happy. It was not apparent to Hinata that Iruka was currently unhappy with his situation. She knew what Sakura wanted. The sannin trained medic wanted Kakashi happy. What a round about way women had in disclosing their goals. Hinata couldn't figure out why was Sasuke going along with the scheme, because that's just what this was. A slimy scheme, paternalistic with too many hands in the pie. The man offered an anecdote about tomatoes and community gardens and a new jutsu that made the large Uchiha compound dust free. She didn't know if he was telling the truth or not, didn't even know if it was a coherent story or not. He had said it all in less than 3 sentences and ended it with a glare, but even without the byakugan, Hinata knew an olive branch when she saw it. Maybe Sakura was the only one looking out for Kakashi and maybe Sasuke cared about Iruka more than he let on, either way, their hearts were in the right place.
Ino was the complete opposite. She had the right intentions with a seedy underbelly. The Yamanakas loved Iruka, but so did everyone else. Ino wanted to monopolize the principal. Hinata wasn't making this up. The heiress told her point blank. I want him to live until he's Sandaime's age, to grow old and wise with someone who loves him as much as he's loved all of us. I do. But Iruka-sensei's one hell of a shinobi and Ino-Shika-Cho would do well to have someone like that. You Hyuga's have Naruto, so let us have a bit of contagious humanity for our clans. Shikamaru, who just happened to come over at the time, had called it troublesome but there was something about the way he watched the blonde's back that made Hinata wary. He was Konoha's tactician, after all.
Sai was honest. The man said that Iruka gave him emotion classes and he wouldn't have gotten married and had a family otherwise so he owed it to the teacher to give him what he got. Yamato was Inojin's godfather and Sai looked up to the wood-style nin despite his teasing. Hinata left when the ex-Root member started to show her his sketchbook labelled Matchmaker Sai. As she left, Hinata caught a glimpse of a drawing about cat and dogs with children who had fang-like tattooed cheeks. She hoped to see that soon and maybe Matchmaker Sai was the right moniker.
To say Kakashi was excited was an understatement. He hadn't felt this kind of good buzz since Kurenai set him and the chunin in question up for dinner but unfortunately, a mission had called it off. He didn't quite know how to ask the other man out. He'd stumble and stutter and it almost always left with Kakashi teleporting away. If his father ever found out that his boy was such a coward when it came to love… Kakashi didn't like thinking about it.
Iruka? His? He didn't dare dwell on it too long. Good things didn't happen to Kakashi unless he kept them a mile away and on the tallest shelf where his dirty hands couldn't get to them. He wanted to do this right, but there were obstacles. First Naruto, then that Hokage contract with the abuse of authority claims, and now Boruto. What a punk, thinking that his Iruka's lovely silk locks were a wig. Shame, that was his grandpa for god's sake.
Kakashi could just imagine it. Iruka's bronze skin coupled with his wonderfully warm eyes. Both of them in a log cabin nestled by the fireplace with their fingers curled together and sipping hot chocolate. Marital bliss.
A roar from Ino pulled Kakashi out of his reverie, "You see!" she said, "He was fantasizing! He's a total lecher, we can't let Iruka-sensei get with someone who leers like that. He deserves someone wonderful, who is strong and reliable-"
"Like the mighty oak that is Yamato-taichou." Sai said.
Kakashi pouted, but no one could tell because of the mask. His reputation of Village Pervert was undeserved.
"Kakashi-san continues to be one of our village's strongest ninja. He was Hokage before Naruto-kun's inauguration. He is no doubt one of our finest and most loyal." Hinata said, paying no need to Sai's miming of the 'might oak.'
"Thank you, Hinata-" Kakashi started.
"But!" she said, "That's Dad's decision to make. Anyhow, you should rethink this Kakashi-san. Should you participate, this won't be your most prudent choice."
Kakashi would have gaped, if not for his super-ninja skills. Are you serious? He wasn't expecting that. Bureaucracy smelled like bullshit and currently, bullshit smelled like Hinata. Something like firecrackers started up at the base of his spine. What right did she have to say that? Him? Not a good choice? Sure, Iruka and him had their fair share of arguments, but they had always resolved things like adults. They were close friends and damn it, Kakashi knew he could make Iruka happy. He knew his chunin and somewhere down the line, even when he lost it all, he never lost sight of that smile that smelled like sea salt and home. He had a chance now and there was no way he was going to let some Hyuuga mess this up for him.
"List your reasons. You said I was loyal and dependable. Strong too. So where's the bad in that?" he said.
"How long have you loved him?" she asked, something like pity in her eyes.
"I don't see why that's pertinent. I-" her pupiless stare bore into him, lavender hues of regret and pity and unsaid poor, poor man swirling about,
"A long time. Maybe since your first chunin exams." he finally said.
"Kakashi-sensei," she said, her hand folding over his own and Kakashi resisted the urge to pull away, "Over 10 years to make things work, to tell him, but Dad doesn't even know. Don't you think that if Dad were to engage in a relationship, that he deserves a partner who can meet him halfway, so that he doesn't have to reach every time? Someone who can give in a way that he can see and feel. You can't even read I love you from a book, I've seen you skip lines when reading out loud in the mission room."
She continued, "You're a good man, Kakashi-sensei." But not good enough. She didn't say it, but she might as well have carved it into the Memorial Stone.
She was right. He knew that. He was shadow. Ninja. Always looking back, even when he was leaping forward. Paranoid man. He stayed in the dark, in the comfortable silence of blood and gore. He knew he was different than Iruka. Iruka was the first blossom of spring, breaking through the icy thaw. He was the crack of dawn that gently roused sleepy eyes awake. He was everything Kakashi wasn't, alive and colourful.
The most beautiful man.
Kakashi was scared of Iruka. Scared that he'd touch him and the red from his hands would stain the other man and Iruka wouldn't be the sun anymore. He'd fought an enemy ninja in a field of white camellias once. It wasn't white after the fight and there was a lesson here, somewhere buried under Kakashi's list of eccentricities that spanned a 4 mile radius. Ah, that's right, he remembered. Kakashi was bad. Too dangerous, too ninja for someone who was so alive.
He swallowed thickly. Maybe he could play this off. It wouldn't do to see Sharingan Kakashi bested by a few words. But then a chair toppled over and Sakura reminded him why she was his favourite student. No, not Sasuke, not Naruto, definitely not Sai. The last one was all Tenzo's. Sakura, because being strong meant being sent on those missions and Sakura was the kind of girl who didn't have the heart for it but would soldier on anyway. She would protect and heal and help until she broke and Kakashi, in his youth, slammed the brakes hard and pressed the red button. He wouldn't teach her. He had seen it the second she started walking on trees. Expert chakra control partnered with a pretty face meant recon, assassination, and seduction. Tsunade came at a good time. A gambler with good timing, how ironic.
Sakura stood between him and Hinata and he couldn't see her eyes, but he was sure they were fierce. Her hand was shaking, he hadn't seen this since she asked him to look over Sarada. He had been surprised. Him? Godfather? He thought Sasuke would ask and he was fully prepared to decline. Not good with kids, you know.
But this was Sakura. A pink haired new mother who could punch him to Suna, still stuttering her way through the request. Of course, he had to say yes. It was his favourite student, who turned out better than he could ever ask for. It was one of the few wins in his life because of the diamond on her forehead and that left hook made her infamous. Not fit for those missions. Plus, Sarada looked just like her, just with dark hair and eyes. It was easy to love the little girl.
"I don't see why Kakashi-sensei should be spoken to like that." he could hear her grit out each word, "So he's a little late on the game plan. So what? If I remember correctly, it took you years before you could even say hi to Naruto without fainting."
Hinata may have said something in protest, but Sakura got louder, "A decade is nothing compared to the time it took the two of you to get together. It took me and Sasuke roughly the same time. Things happen, people fight one another, people fight themselves. It's not about the time it takes or how much we've failed. He can still do it. I believe in Kakashi."
There was a silence. A thick tension hung between the two kunoichis and a hand landed on top of Sakura's head, ruffling her hair gently.
"Maa, that's a good speech Sakura. Are you gunning for Naruto's job?" he gave her his signature eye crinkle.
To Hinata, he said, "I don't know if I can do it. But I'm going to try and if the words come out right let's see what Iruka says. I'm going to try to prove you wrong, Hinata-chan. Wish me luck."
Sakura deflated, the tension leaving her drained, "Sorry Hinata, I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to say those things, but you can't talk about Kakashi-sensei like that. He'll be good for Iruka-sensei. I can vouch on that."
"It's okay. I don't agree with this whole scheme, but I'm willing to see how this goes."
The women hugged and the dinner, now cold, began as warmly as it always was with Team Seven's monthly feast.
Nearing the end of dinner, Ino asked Hinata, if she had to choose one person to nominate, who'd it be. The Hyuuga tried to deflect, but even Naruto wanted to know.
"Hana." she finally said.
The Inuzuka? Damn. Kakashi frowned. Hana had the right kind of equipment for the thing Hiashi was planning. But she was an Inuzuka so they were tied at 1 - 1. But what if Iruka liked that sort of thing? Gosh, had they never talked about this before. He didn't even know if Iruka liked girls or boys or if he didn't care or what if he didn't like in that way at all? Tenzou, he could handle. He wasn't sempai for nothing. As far as he was concerned, mighty oak, my ass. Sai's been looking under a guise of water. It was physics, a goldfish became koi. Kakashi snickered.
Now that he thought about it, there was going to be tough competition. Kakashi liked competition, but not when they were all gunning for his sensei. He would have to consult for dating advice and he didn't know anyone that would be a good mentor. Sakura was going to help him, that was a given, but her and lemon-boy had this weird sort of partnership that worked for them and them only. Kakashi didn't think he could go months without seeing Iruka. Hell, he had the man's schedule timed to the hour. He could see Iruka whenever, not that the principal knew about his hobby.
Hopefully, he never knew about it.
Iruka caught him staring into the classroom window once. The result wasn't pretty.
So who could he ask? Oh god, he resisted the urge to groan once he realized who the only ninja in the entire village that had the sort of lovey-dovey, open-communication, affectionate sort of relationship he wanted for him and Iruka. Shiiiit.
The guests left all at once, each thanking Sakura and Sasuke for hosting except for Ino who thanked herself and Hinata for pulling the team's weight. Ino waved goodbye to her best friend, signalling the words 5-head to Sakura (who was oinking) for good fun. She and Sai walked down the street before they ducked into an alley way.
"I'll send a rat into the office and sign Yamato-taichou up." Sai said.
"No." Ino replied.
Sai looked at his wife quizzically, "But I thought we wanted to get him on The List?"
"We did, honey. But don't you think Hinata's got a point?"
"We can't pull out. Iruka-sensei's made to be a family man." the artist said.
"We're going to get Yamato and Iruka-sensei together, Sai." Ino looped her arms around his neck, pulling him close enough to smell ink and jasmine scented parchment.
"Iruka-sensei's probably fed up with people trying to dictate who he goes out with, so let's set this up the right way. Even if it goes south, which it won't, we won't have that famous temper to deal with." she smiled into the dip of his collarbone.
Sai slipped his hands around her midriff and Ino gasped from the cold touch. His fingers were chilled by the night air. He pressed his lips against her temple and reached lower to kiss her ear. Teeth nipped at her earlobe and Sai toyed with the flesh.
"What do you think about us going south?" he murmured.
Ino grinned, showing too much teeth. Temari wouldn't mind if they came back later. Maybe they'll pick up Inojin tomorrow.